THE IMPORTANCE OF PRESENCE IN PARENTING

By siah Fried

Can you recall a parenting situation you approached when you weren’t present? What happened? What worked? What didn’t?

One of the most useful tools I have discovered, through the coaching certification program, through Jai Parenting Institute is the Peace Process. I use it to help parents deal with any challenging situation. The first step is presence. Since we live in a world full of distractions, it is easy to think we are offering our kids our full attention when we aren’t really doing so. The practice of presence allows us to be 100% present for our child so we can meet them in the very moment they most need us. When we are truly present for our kids, we can approach any parenting challenge with a more calm state of mind to help them problem solve creatively. The next time you have a challenging parenting situation try to take a second or minute (depending on the urgency) to pause and take a deep breath, put the phone down and all other distractions aside. If you try to be the most prepared possible for any parenting situation by being calm and open, it can be an important teachable moment for both of you .

After being present, we are more able to connect to feelings and needs. Give it a try! For many of us, it will take practice. Remember to have grace for yourself because we can’t do it perfectly all of the time.

These are the words from the Empathy and Emotional Connection step that resonated with me and are a helpful take away: “No need to FIX, CHANGE, or SAVE our children from their feelings, their conflicts, or their growth moments. From presence and inner safety, we can simply BE with our children, and ourselves in our emotions, feelings, and needs.” Jai Institute for Parenting.

This is one of the best pieces of parenting advice I have received and can offer to others.