ParentMap February 2022 Issue by ParentMap

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Decoding the So-Called ‘Sex Recession’ How a partnership mindset shift may be the secret to restoring intimacy

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February Play List 15 ways to pounce on the Year of the Tiger

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PNW INSIDE + OUT

PUGET SOUND CAMP FAIR Start your summer camp search at our free online event! P. 32

Love Is in the Air Sensational ‘we time’ getaways for couples and families 25/

YOU’LL

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C ONTENTS

February

2022

PARENTMAP.COM In Every Issue Dear Reader Play List

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Local Resources Schools + Preschools 17 Camps: Arts + Activities 24

Parenting

Feature

EDUCATION

Decoding the So-Called ‘Sex Recession’ 10 How a partnership mindset shift may be the secret to restoring intimacy

Spotlight on Virtual Ed 6 Interactive programming inspires students to learn about complex social issues — and take action Voices in Education 16 Op-ed: Why addressing sexual harassment in middle school is vital JUST FOR FUN

Celebrate the Year of the Tiger! 8 Meet the Tiger child, plus fun ways to ring in the Lunar New Year 5 Trendy Tutorial Sites for Crafty Kids Awesome DIY sites for tweens and teens to encourage their artistry CAMPS

The Big Sleepaway Great books and top tips to prepare your child for overnight camp

Family Fun OUT + ABOUT

February Play List 22 Despite its chill and brevity, we ❤ February fun Plan a ‘We Time’ Getaway Sensational off-season Northwest destinations for couples and families

8 Sneak in some time away from the littles to connect — or bring the whole family along for a calming midwinter break

“When you’re worried about whether your kid still has school, whether your unvaccinated uncle can come to the picnic or whether the planet will even exist in 50 years, it’s just harder to get in the mood.” p. 10

25 Posthotel; photo by Todd Pierce

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DE AR R E ADER

You deserve a (joy) break today

FEBRUARY 2022, VOL. 19, NO. 2

What is your go-to “joy break”?

PUBLISHER

Alayne Sulkin EDITORIAL MANAGING EDITOR Patty Lindley OUT + ABOUT EDITOR Nancy Chaney

Crochet therapy!

DIGITAL CONTENT EDITOR Vicky McDonald

When we crack open the seal of a new year, it’s customary to wrestle with resolutions (maybe we should call them new year’s wrestle-utions?). And while aiming positive intent toward the attainment of some personal improvement goal should be an optimism-fueling endeavor, our efforts often don’t pan out as we hoped, and what should have resulted in a sense of accomplishment becomes another source of pressure and disappointment. We get enough pressure and disappointment in our daily pandemic diet — none of us needs a second helping of bumble pie! This topic bubbled up in a recent brainstorming session with my dear editor colleagues, as we bemoaned the depressing waves of news about the omicron variant and owned up to suffering from a common case of seasonal malaise. ParentMap CFO (Chief Fun Officer, that is) Nancy Chaney proposed an antidote: What every family needs is a joy break a day to keep the doldrums away. What she meant was finding ways to restore flagging spirits quickly in the moment, with easy and instant diversions guaranteed to spark joy. Self-improvement on even a modest scale is hard, but daily doses of uncomplicated joy are far easier to manufacture and dispense than you think. They’re also powerful. Research (which I’m positive exists and which I plan to find for you later) shows that taking just a 10–15-minute break (even five minutes, in a pinch) during the day helps you to feel more productive, motivated and resilient — and connected, when you include your loved ones in the joyride. Joy doesn’t need to be expensive or decadent; in fact, it may even feel the best when it is sparked by something totally random, comforting, super silly and/or yummy! Joy is fuel, pure and simple, and it should never be paid for with selfrecrimination or guilt after the fact. So, the next time the gloom of the weather or drear reports from this pandemic life plunge you into a funk, gather up your little posse for a spontaneous joy break. There are a zillion ways to trigger joy, and your kids will naturally guide you to them, so challenge them to come up with your family’s list of go-to joy breaks. To prime the pump, I asked the ParentMap staff to share their go-to family joy breaks (see masthead to sample a few), and this one just might be my favorite: Go to the store and buy bad-for-you cereal — our favorites are Corn Pops, Sugar Smacks, Honeycomb and Apple Jacks — and eat them for dinner. As many bowls as you want! Genius. — Patty Lindley, managing editor

OUT + ABOUT EDITORIAL SPECIALIST Dora Heideman COPY EDITOR Sunny Parsons CONTRIBUTORS Gemma Alexander, Hilary Benson, Nancy Chaney, Committee for Children, Kaley Klemp, Nate Klemp, Ph.D., Kate Missine, Kellie Schmitt

Creating ridiculous playlists on Spotify … and dance parties!

DIGITAL MARKETING DIGITAL MARKETING MANAGER Lindsey Carter EMAIL MARKETING SPECIALIST Devon Hammer DIGITAL MARKETING COORDINATOR Taryn Weiner INTERIM SOCIAL MEDIA SPECIALIST Emily Feely

Playing a quick card game with the kids

ADVERTISING SALES + PARTNERSHIPS SENIOR ADVERTISING AND PARTNERSHIPS MANAGER Ida Wicklund ADVERTISING CLIENT SERVICES MANAGER Jessica Collet ADVERTISING CLIENT SERVICES ASSISTANT Angela Goodwin CLIENT SERVICES PRODUCTION COORDINATOR Mallory Dehbod

Self-care Sundays with my daughter

SALES + OPERATIONS ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT Rachel Howard

EVENTS EVENT OPERATIONS Brenna McCown

ART + PRODUCTION SENIOR DESIGNER Amy Chinn

Watching hummingbirds at my feeder

ADMINISTRATION BUSINESS MANAGER Carolyn Brendel

PARENTMAP EDITORIAL ADVISORY BOARD

CONTACT INFORMATION

Benjamin Danielson, M.D. CLINICAL PROFESSOR, UW SCHOOL OF MEDICINE PRACTICING PHYSICIAN, UW MEDICINE

Advertising information 206-709-9026 or advertising@parentmap.com Fax 206-709-9031

Joan Duffell RETIRED EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, COMMITTEE FOR CHILDREN

Calendar submissions calendar@parentmap.com

John Gottman, Ph.D. THE GOTTMAN INSTITUTE PROFESSOR EMERITUS, UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON Laura Kastner, Ph.D. PSYCHIATRY + BEHAVIORAL SCIENCES, UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON Bea Kelleigh VICE PRESIDENT, DOVETAILING, LLC Yaffa Maritz, M.A. FOUNDER, LISTENING MOTHERS + COMMUNITY OF MINDFUL PARENTING

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It Starts With You(th) Interactive virtual programming inspires students to learn about complex social issues — and take action By Kellie Schmitt

On a recent school day, social studies teacher Todd Baker sprinted around his Maple Valley classroom, holding out a microphone for students to discuss global poverty and hunger. The high school students were attending a free virtual class presented by the Gates Foundation Discovery Center (discovergates.org/education-programs). The class is one of hundreds the organization has hosted during the pandemic. The students “felt they were being heard and their opinions meant something,” says Baker, who teaches at Tahoma High School. “The presenters are dynamite — they’re really good at being patient, willing to answer questions and to guide [the students].” Since launching these online offerings in the fall of 2020, the Discovery Center has hosted about 450 virtual school experiences on topics such as sanitation, COVID-19 vaccines, data interpretation and gender equality. From writing their own pandemic poetry to debating toilet bowl designs, participating students are engaged in personalizing global topics in ways that inspire them to consider what actions they can take in their own communities. Staying relevant When the pandemic forced the Discovery Center to cancel in-person field trips in March 2020, staff members brainstormed ways to continue student interaction. They considered how to create virtual classroom experiences through which students could explore and debate timely global topics. The

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center launched the new offerings that fall. “[We decided to] reinvent what we’re doing so we can stay relevant, even though we’re not hosting in the space in person,” says Patrick McMahon, manager of visitor engagement and experience at the Discovery Center. Now, the center offers 55-minute virtual classes Monday through Thursday during local school hours. The nine presentation topics relate to the Gates Foundation’s global work, which means there are many specific examples to share. Presentations are adjusted for the students’ grade level, starting at fourth grade. While most participants who join virtually are from the greater Puget Sound area, the programming has attracted student groups from around the country and world, though differences in time zones can sometimes make conducting the classes tricky. An interactive approach This year, the Discovery Center launched two new topics: one on the global sanitation crisis and another on gender equality. Staff also updated ongoing classes, including a popular one on COVID-19 that delves into the timely topics of vaccines and variants. In another class about COVID-19, titled “COVID-19: Global Vaccine Challenge,” the presenter will ask students to consider who should have access to vaccines and why. In one session, a student felt strongly that the supply should go first to countries where the vaccine was developed. In another class, students insisted the limited supply should be distributed equitably worldwide.

Photo ©️ Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation

“There isn’t a truly right answer,” says McMahon. “We invite students to grapple with some of the same conversations world leaders are having.” Along with asking tough questions, the presentations include other interactive elements. For example, students joining the class on the United Nations’ sustainable development goals are asked to take a poll: Has global extreme poverty worsened, stayed the same or improved? Many students are surprised to learn that figures have improved. “Part of our goal is to remind them that progress has been made,” says McMahon. In the class on sanitation, students dig into the complexity of waste removal, enjoying a few “super tacky” poop jokes along the way. But even those lighter notes offer a starting point for discussion. Why is the topic of poo taboo and what does that stigma mean for sanitation efforts? “An element of humor is a nice way to bridge a major topic and challenge,” says McMahon. The presentation goes on to discuss new technology and tools for processing waste, including recycling or reusing water, as well

as the logistics of keeping public toilets clean. Seattle-area students can connect these broader topics to local issues, such as sewage overflow in Puget Sound. Storytelling can also play an important role in keeping students engaged. A data class starts with a fictional scenario: The mayor of Chicken Town is reviewing a graph charting data on sunburns and ice cream sales. As sunburns increase in the community, so do ice cream sales. He’s considering a policy to ban ice cream sales to avoid the sunburns that seem so clearly connected. “It’s a nice opportunity to think about causality versus correlation, which is a huge topic when talking about data,” notes McMahon. Next steps Along with working on developing new presentations (climate change is on the agenda) center staff is also creating longer virtual workshops for spring and summer breaks. These will go even deeper into topics and include guest speakers. The staff is also planning online events for special days, such as International Women’s Day in March.

VIRTUAL EXPERIENCES Bring the Discovery Center to your classroom or group for lively conversations on global & local issues that will inspire changemakers of all ages. FREE. Learn more discovergates.org/educationprograms

Even when the Discovery Center ultimately resumes in-person programming and events, the plan is to keep some virtual offerings. Along with expanding student access, these virtual classes have spurred deep thinking and powerful conversations, educators say. Baker has personally witnessed these conversations continue beyond the virtual classroom session. After the recent session examining the United Nations’ sustainability goals, several of his students approached him about getting involved in the school’s community service club. They also inquired about student volunteering opportunities at the Gates Foundation itself. “They were just so inspired,” he says. To learn more about the lineup of virtual experiences offered by the Gates Foundation Discovery Center or to book one, visit discovergates.org/education-programs.

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Kellie Schmitt is an award-winning health and science writer.

Sponsored by

Explore interactive exhibits and find ways you can take action at the Gates Foundation Discovery Center, discovergates.org.

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Just for Fun Celebrate the Year of the Tiger! By Patty Lindley Lunar New Year begins on Feb. 1, and children born during this year will be under the sign of the Tiger. In Chinese culture, the Tiger is symbolic of power, respect, leadership, influence and bravery — the “king of the jungle.” If you’re expecting a little Tiger, congratulations! Kiddos born under the sign of the Tiger are said to be enthusiastic, curious, warm-hearted little daredevils. Read on to learn more about the many ebullient qualities of your little cub. About the Tiger child Your exuberant Tiger child is alternately the cuddliest little bundle of joy and an irrepressible wild child. These kiddos are born with an unerring homing device for fun (and parents of Tigers may surmise, for trouble, too). Charismatic and bright, they’ll talk an ear off, sharing many schemes and dreams with the captive audience of the moment. Their insatiable curiosity about life will lead them into more than their fair share of adventures and resulting scrapes, but as the saying goes, you can’t keep a good

cat down! Create spaces in your home and schedule time for this child to exercise and romp freely — your Tiger child is not one to sit quietly in the corner with his picture books while you work your crossword. Supply ready outlets for social interaction and sport to keep both of you sane — after all, bouncing is what Tiggers do best! Though your Tiger child’s life may seem volatile to the tamer members of the zodiac, it will also bring more than its fair share of laughter, luck, passion and adventure. With the right balance of discipline, love, understanding and trips to the ER, this child will be the lovable perpetual sunbeam in your life. Natural gifts Tigers are born with all the charm and unsinkable optimism they’ll need to navigate the ebb and flow of fortune in life. They possess a big heart to rival their healthy ego, and they naturally dispense love and charity to those people and interests that capture their imagination — from family and pets to the needy and downtrodden of the world. Tiger children have tremendously inquisitive and agile minds and can be exceptionally good students when their interest is engaged. But should the pace and content of your Tiger child’s lessons not pique their interest, they could display a propensity for daydreaming and disruption in class. Lean in to provide additional books or tools to help your child advance their understanding while they’re not in school. Don’t forget to reward your little Tiger’s patient instructor come Teacher Appreciation Day; it’s likely they spend a fair amount of time riding herd on your sociable little chatterbox in class.

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Parenting a Tiger child Help create a stepping-stone from a stumbling block: The Tiger has two bedeviling shortcomings: rashness and indecision. Help your Tiger child learn how to navigate a middle road in uncertain situations in order to avoid the pitfalls of acting too quickly … or failing to act at all. Heap on the TLC: When your little Tiger is down in the mouth, they will look to you to ladle on some restorative TLC. No matter who was right or wrong, your Tiger will want your unadulterated sympathy, not a rational accounting of the tussle — or worse — a dismissive reaction to their woe. More than anything, a Tiger hates to be ignored.

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Learn more about your family’s Chinese zodiac signs at parentmap.com/zodiac.

3 fun ways to celebrate Lunar New Year READ Get kids excited about the holiday by reading all about it. The Seattle Public Library suggests Chinese New Year read-alouds (parentmap.com/ CNY-aloud) and other new-year-themed books for young children (parentmap.com/CNY-reads). Since we’re entering a Tiger year, consider Oliver Chin’s bilingual “The Year of the Tiger: Tales From the Chinese Zodiac.” EAT Few holidays can compete with the Chinese New Year in the good-food category, especially when it comes to dessert! Sweet, sticky candy ensures a good report from the kitchen god. Fa gao is a fermented and steamed rice cake; its name is similar to a word meaning “gaining wealth.” The website Chinese New Year (chinesenewyear.net/food) lists delicious New Year’s foods from all over China, together with their symbolic meaning. CRAFT Making drums to scare away the monster Nian and paper lanterns for the Lantern Festival are popular New Year’s crafts for kids. Nina Simonds’ book “Moonbeams, Dumplings & Dragon Boats: A Treasury of Chinese Holiday Tales, Activities & Recipes” has instructions for these and other Chinese holiday projects. — Gemma Alexander

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GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER THIS YEAR Prepare for life’s ‘what-if’ moments Courses, Resources & Guidebook GETYOURSHITTOGETHER.ORG

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Is Equal Partnership the Antidote to the So-Called ‘Sex Recession’? By Nate Klemp, Ph.D., and Kaley Klemp

If you feel like the chaos of modern life is getting in the way of your sex life, you’re not alone. In fact, it doesn’t matter whether you’re 18, 28 or 48, chances are you’re having less sex than your contemporaries in the 1990s. It’s a shift in sexual behavior that researchers have dubbed a “sex recession.”

have emerged from researchers in Australia and Turkey.

planet will even exist in 50 years, it’s just harder to get in the mood.

All of this begs the question: Why are we having so little sex?

This trend is most pronounced among teenagers and young adults. According to the national Youth Risk Behavior Survey, in 1991, 54 percent of teenagers reported having at least one sexual encounter. By the year 2015, the number dropped to 41 percent.

Experts have offered all sorts of possible, and in some instances, conflicting answers. Some argue that these declines in sex should be viewed not as a problem, but as a sign of progress. Marriage historian Stephanie Coontz speculates that we’re witnessing something more like a “sex diet” and that it might stem from the post#MeToo empowerment of women to say no.

Ending the sex recession With no clear answers to this question, we think it is time to ask a different question: How can you put an end to the “sex recession” in your own relationship (assuming that’s the kind of thing you’re into)?

And yet, this so-called sex recession extends beyond young adults. The research of Jean Twenge, a psychologist at San Diego State University, has shown that the average American adult reported having sex nine fewer times per year since the late 1990s, from around 61 times per year to 52 times per year in the early 2010s. Then along came the COVID-19 pandemic. Researchers are still in the early stages of figuring out the impact of lockdowns, school shutdowns and the chaos surrounding vaccines. The early results, however, indicate that the coronavirus crisis has made the sex recession even more pronounced. A 2020 study of 1,117 married individuals ages 30–50 conducted by the Kinsey Institute found that COVID-19 had had no significant impact on their sex life. But subsequent studies have shown that pandemic life has led to steep declines in the frequency and quality of sex. A study conducted by researchers at Indiana University found that nearly half of American adults have experienced a decline in sexual behavior. Similar findings

The feeling of resentment you have when you’re waiting in line at Costco and you recall that your partner hasn’t purchased groceries in over a month doesn’t magically disappear the moment you start taking off each other’s clothes. Others blame this sex recession on smartphone and social media addiction. Still others blame it on the fear and uncertainty of our current post-9/11 and COVID-19beset world. As sex therapist Emily Jamea puts it, there’s a reason “two zebras won’t mate in front of a lion.” When you’re worried about whether your kid still has school, whether your unvaccinated uncle can come to the picnic or whether the

The easy answer, peddled to us by magazines with images of air-brushed models on the cover, is that this is a sex problem. If you flip through recent issues of Cosmopolitan, for instance, you’ll learn all sorts of ways to “spice up” your sex life, with suggestions such as watching racy TikTok videos together, investing in a rabbit-shaped purple vibrator or consulting the Kama Sutra. The sex Rx? Just master the tactics of the act and you’ll start having more frequent and mind-blowing nights together. There’s just one problem with this sexbased solution: Sex isn’t separate from the rest of life. What goes down in the bedroom isn’t sealed away from what goes down in the other areas of life. In fact, sex tends to be more like a mirror image of the rest of life. The feeling of resentment you have when you’re waiting in line at Costco and you recall that your partner hasn’t purchased groceries in over a month doesn’t magically disappear the moment you start taking off each other’s clothes. If anything, that feeling is the very thing that’s keeping you from tearing off your partner’s clothes in the first place. The point here is that the solution to the

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drought can’t just be installing a sex swing in your bedroom or smearing yourself in edible body paint on a random Thursday night. The solution must also account for the life challenges that keep us from feeling connected and in sync. Enter University of Utah sociologist Daniel Carlson. His research offers a more promising answer to the question of how to end the sex recession: equality. His research team found that couples with greater equality in the distribution of household labor also reported higher sexual frequency and satisfaction. “Relationship quality and stability,” Carlson writes, “are generally highest when couples are happy with their divisions of labor and find them equitable and fair.” Equality, however, might not be the only factor that explains why couples with

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equal partnerships report having better and more frequent sex. Communication also plays a key role. In fact, Carlson tells us that these two variables — equality and communication — work together. “With egalitarian relationships,” he observes, “there’s no road map. And so, you have to

Ironically, fairness often leads to more, rather than less, inequality in relationships. talk. If you’re not constantly communicating, organizing and arranging things, the other person might forget to do something, and you now feel things are unfair because you’re not talking about it with each other.” Striving for equality, in other words, forces couples to communicate better, which, in turn, increases their odds of getting it on.

The myth of fairness There is, however, a trap here. We call it the mindset of 50/50 fairness. It’s the mindset that leads you to keep an elaborate mental tally of all the amazing things you’ve done for your partner, while simultaneously keeping a separate tally of all the ways your partner isn’t doing enough. In the more than 100 interviews we conducted with people about their relationships for our book “The 80/80 Marriage,” we found that this mindset often had the opposite of its intended effect. Most couples turned to fairness to build a more equal marriage. But fairness rarely resulted in equality. As one woman told us, “We become accountants when arguing about things not being fair.” This habit of scorekeeping leads to greater levels of tension, conflict and resentment. Ironically, fairness often also leads to

more, rather than less, inequality in relationships. It leads to overly contributing partners doing more, thinking, “Screw it. If he’s not going to help, I’ll just do it all.” Likewise, it can lead under-contributing partners to do less, thinking, “Nothing I do is ever enough, so why should I do anything?” The result: Those who already contribute too much do more, those who don’t contribute enough do even less, and couples have that much more to fight about. A new path to equality Our interviews led us to an insight that changed everything: Your mindset in relationships is contagious. If you’re stuck in the mindset of fairness, chances are your partner will mirror back your scorekeeping and resentment. You’ll find yourself arguing about the exact, 50/50 balance of household work, free time, and time with friends and extended family. If, however, you change your mindset, you can begin to change the entire culture of the partnership and achieve a more lasting, connected form of equality.

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This is what we observed in thriving couples. They achieved true equality by cultivating a mindset of radical generosity. They didn’t keep score — they went ahead and filled up their partner’s car with gas. They didn’t look for their partner’s screwups — they looked for their partner’s strengths. In short, they viewed marriage through a lens of generosity and, as a result, their partner mirrored their generosity, creating an upward spiral that enhanced connection, communication and equality. These couples also relied on clear structures — rather than fights over fairness — to achieve equality. Consider the division of roles. We found that many of the couples who reported arguing about fairness also employed what we call the “wing it” approach to dividing up roles and responsibilities around the house. They let random historical, accidental and outdated gen-

der norms from the 1950s decide which partner does the dishes, schedules social events and plans activities for the kids. Thriving couples divided up roles differently. They took a step back from these accidental arrangements to create a clearer structure of roles. They didn’t necessarily divide roles fairly. They divided roles intentionally. In the end, the new structures they came up with reflected each partner’s unique skills and interests. This resulted in a different and more lasting form of equality based on a process of working together, as equal partners, to come up with the best way to win together as a team. The point here is that, while equality is the goal, our default habit of trying to make everything fair is often the obstacle. And that brings us back to the complex truth that the antidote to the sex recession

not only has little to do with mastering the tactics of sex, it also has little to do with trying to make everything in your relationship “50/50 fair.” Instead, ending the sexual recession involves charting a different path to equality. It’s a path that involves a shift in mindset from fairness to radical generosity, as well as a structural shift from living with the effect of unconscious arrangements to working together, as equals, to build a more intentional structure for your life together.

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Nate and Kaley Klemp are the co-authors of “The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Marriage.” Nate is a founding partner of Mindful (mindful.org), one of the world’s largest mindfulness media and training companies. Kaley is one of the nation’s leading experts on small-group dynamics and leadership development.

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Voices in Education Why Addressing Sexual Harassment in Middle School Is Vital In the wake of #MeToo and other movements that put a spotlight on sexual harassment and violence, the education space has seen an emergence of state standards supporting harassment prevention and teaching kids about consent. More conversations with students about personal responsibility, boundaries and gender stereotypes are happening than ever before — from kindergartners getting the choice between a high five and a hug to middle school teachers pointing out an imbalance in gender dynamics in classrooms. Along with reinforcing a sense of personal empowerment, addressing sexual and gender-based harassment (harassment based on gender, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression) is a crucial part of sexual abuse prevention. By talking with middle schoolers about how to set and respect boundaries and by taking reports of harassment seriously, educators can play a critical role in preventing both victimization and perpetration. Research about sexual harassment and abuse While research about the connection between harassment and future violence is still in the early stages, a 2018 study published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence indicates that addressing sexual and gender-based harassment in middle school is not only developmentally appropriate, but critical for intervention. The study also suggests that preventing bullying and homophobic name-calling in middle school could help prevent future sexual violence — nearly 36 percent of sexual abuse offenders are older children or teenagers. Another 2018 study indicates that adolescence is a key time to combat gender stereotypes, and it suggests that sexual violence prevention efforts should directly address harmful attitudes about traditional masculinity, pro-violence attitudes and dismissiveness of sexual harassment. Beyond ‘bad behavior’ Sexual and gender-based harassment can include spreading sexual rumors, unwanted touching and homophobic name-calling, and it can happen to students of any gender identity or sexual orientation. Dismissing these forms of harassment as merely “inappropriate”

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or “bad behavior” undercuts the severity of the issue. Conveying to students that they have a legal right not to be harassed and a responsibility not to harass others is important for developing students’ sense of personal agency as well as establishing broader accountability and protections. Educators also need to understand what constitutes sexual harassment and what student protections are enforced under Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972, which defends people from discrimination based on sex in education programs or activities that receive federal financial assistance. Defining harassment and taking action Encourage your middle school students not only to take note of when they’re uncomfortable with someone else’s behavior, but to recognize and respect when their peers are uncomfortable, too. Make sure students know you’re available to talk and help them with these kinds of safety issues. The Second Step middle school curriculum program (secondstep.org) focuses on the topic of sexual harassment and helps students: • Define sexual harassment • Recognize the differences between sexual harassment and flirting • Understand that peer-to-peer sexual harassment can happen to anyone • Think about the effects of harassment • Know where they can go for help if they witness or experience harassment • Recognize that sexual harassment is serious and against the law

LO CAL R ES O UR C ES / S C HO OL S , PRES C HO OL S , N WA IS

The program also includes advisory activities focused on gender-based harassment, disrespect and acceptable behaviors in dating relationships. Sexual harassment ‘hot spots’ Most kids experience harassment in locations that aren’t closely monitored by adults, places such as hallways, cafeterias and bus stops. We call these “hot spots” for bullying and harassment. Resources for educators and families At Committee for Children’s Hot Chocolate Talk website (hotchocolatetalk.org), educators can learn how to encourage families to talk to children about sexual abuse prevention at home, and families can find tips for talking with preteens and teenagers about sexuality and consent, boundaries and standing up for others. Visit the site to download how-to guides packed with decades of expert research for beginning and continuing crucial conversations with your child every day — at any age, from toddler to teen. Fiction and nonfiction books that deal with themes of sexuality, sexual assault, consent and personal empowerment are another tool that educators and families can use to support middle schoolers as they navigate social situations that require a strong sense of personal agency. Visit Committee for Children’s ParenTeen Connect website (parenteenconnect.org) to explore suggested titles and other resources.

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Sexual and gender-based harassment can be difficult subjects to broach, but abuse thrives on silence. By taking harassment seriously, educators and families help empower students to address issues related to dating, gender dynamics and consent, and to avoid becoming victims or perpetrators of sexual abuse.

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This article was first published on the Committee for Children blog. Since 1979, Committee for Children has advocated for policies to enhance, gathered research to support and developed educational programs to advance the safety and well-being of children through social-emotional learning (SEL). Learn more at cfchildren.org.

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stitch an appliqué picture, then move on to the more complex afghan knitting series. Sew along • cassiestephens.blogspot.com Fun-loving art teacher Cassie Stephens is an ace at every type of crafting, but her funky sense of fashion particularly shines in her work with all things fabric. Her YouTube channel features a dedicated fiber arts playlist chock-full of video tutorials on everything from embroidery to shibori (a form of Japanese tie-dye), weaving to colorful string art. Try your hand at an adorable stuffed pizza or follow a sewalong series to stitch together a pretty kitchen apron from scratch.

5 Trendy Tutorial Sites for Your Crafty Kid If the thought of knitting or crocheting brings your grandmother to mind, think again. The fiber arts are making a comeback among an unlikely crowd: tweens and teens. Working with textiles is the kind of handson activity that will benefit your kid in so many ways. These crafts are wonderful

for improving fine motor skills, hand-eye coordination, creativity, patience and even STEM skills. For atypical learners, these crafts can also provide focus and calm. Plus, who doesn’t love a handmade masterpiece you can actually wear or display? No matter whether your kiddo already has a textile craft they know and love or has never tried one before, we’ve scoped out some awesome sites, blogs and channels to inspire their artistry. From nostalgic needle felting to operating a loom, the following craft masters present ideas that will get your child knotting, threading and creating in no time. Folk art • weefolkart.com Wee Folk Art was started by a motherdaughter duo that shares a love of crafting, homeschooling and folk art. This homey (yet trendy) site has it all: project ideas, handy guides and loads of free patterns for knitting, crocheting, appliqué and sewing. Make a funky fuzzy boa scarf or learn to

Photo courtesy cassiestephens.blogspot.com

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Everything I know, I learned from this crochet prodigy • jonahhands.com When Jonah Larson was 5, he taught himself how to crochet by watching YouTube videos. Now that he is a teen, his own easy-to-follow and fun crocheting tutorials have gone viral. Jonah’s sunny personality and extraordinary mastery with the crochet hook earned him the title of “crochet prodigy,” and he has gained thousands of followers on his YouTube channel, Jonah’s Hands. He generously donates profits from his creations along with series of books,

Jonah Larson

LO CAL R ES O UR C ES / S C HO OL S , PRES C HO OL S , N WA IS

eration, A Little Craft in Your Day is full of fun projects accessible to kids and young adults. A sizable section is dedicated to sewing, felt crafts and DIY fashion design. There are felt egg pouches, leather tassel earrings, trendy faux fur vests and an entire series of “Teen Crafts That Aren’t Stupid,” which even your too-coolfor-crafting high schooler will appreciate. Helpful tips, such as how to hem or sew a straight line, make it a breeze for beginners to get started.

Photo courtesy alittlecraftinyourday.com

DVDs and crochet kits to the orphanage in Ethiopia from which he was adopted. Teen crafts that aren’t stupid • alittlecraftinyourday.com Created by a couple of friends to help fill the niche of crafting for the younger genai164151264925_ParentMap_1-6.pdf

Get a little knotty • Macramé Magic Knots on YouTube Macramé décor and accessories are all the rage lately among teens and tweens, with the art of knotting twine, yarn or other materials enjoying a revival from a retro hobby to a popular pastime. Discover the soothing craft on the creative YouTube channel Macramé Magic Knots, which is filled with tutorials for projects of all levels 1/6/22

and abilities. While there is a dedicated kids’ playlist featuring various friendship bracelets, key chains and more, the general-audience videos include plenty of doable pieces, such as macramé purses and funky earrings.

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FAM I LY F UN

February Play List 15 ways to pounce on the Year ar of the Tiger By Nancy Chaney

Check out many more happenings online at parentmap.com/calendar.

Celebrate Lunar New Year in person with games, activites and live performances on Feb. 19 at Sharon McGavick Center.

We ❤ you, February! Despite your chill and brevity, we’re here with you to spot majestic eagles, try out hockey skills, dig more deeply into cultural traditions and celebrate Black history. There’s all that and more — let’s do it! Important note: Some events now require proof of vaccination or a negative COVID-19 test result to attend.

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catch a wagon ride (Saturday), watch chainsaw carvers in action and more at the Arlington-Stillaguamish Eagle Festival. Friday–Saturday, Feb. 4–5. Free. parentmap.com/eagle-fest

� Catch Kraken fever by exploring Pacific Science Center’s super interactive hockey exhibit on three special Wednesdays when admission is discounted. Check your goalie reflexes, shoot the puck and sit in the “sin bin.” Feb. 2, 9 and 16. $5; preregister. parentmap.com/kraken � Gallop into a virtual Small Frye session over Zoom to explore this month’s horsey theme through drama and creating art. Friday, Feb. 4, 10 a.m. Free; preregister. Ages 3–5 with adult. parentmap.com/small-frye

Interactive hockey exhibit; photo courtesy Pacific Science Center

� Gape in wonder at a convention of bald eagles at recommended viewing spots, plus

� Wild Child Weekends are the perfect occasions to make the trek to Northwest Trek, our phenomenal regional wildlife park. On Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays in February, as many as two kids ages 12 and younger enter the park for free with each paid adult admission. Feb. 4–6, 11–13, 18–20 and 25– 27. Adult admission $20–$25. parentmap.com/wild-child

Highlighted Events for February

| Saturday

Feb. 4–27

Feb. 11–20

Feb. 19

Wild Child Weekends

2022 Children’s Film Festival Seattle

Lunar New Year celebration

Northwest Trek Wildlife Park, Eatonville parentmap.com/wild-child

Northwest Film Forum in Seattle and online parentmap.com/film-fest

practiced around our community. Saturday–Sunday, Feb. 12–13. Free. parentmap.com/tet

� Tune in for a special edition of the Northwest African American Museum’s interactive story time for kids focusing on Black History Month. Stories highlight Black characters, Black authors and Black experiences. Sunday, Feb. 13, 1 p.m. Free. parentmap.com/naam

Northwest Trek Wildlife Park; photo by Katie Cotterill

� Sharpen your nature detective skills by searching alongside a knowledgeable ranger for animal tracks, poop and other signs of winter wildlife activity at Bellevue’s Lewis Creek Park. Feb. 6, 12 or 27. Free; preregister. Ages 5–10 with families. parentmap.com/tracks � Prepare to explore a whole different world of cinema with incredible, thought-provoking and imaginative feature films and shorts from around the globe at this year’s Children’s Film Festival Seattle. Feb. 11–20. Showtimes, workshops and ticket prices TBA. parentmap.com/film-fest � Sign up for a spot in a familyfriendly tree-planting party to add native plants to our

ecosystem and remove invasive species from the South Sound’s Marine View Park. There will be snacks! Saturday, Feb. 12, 10 a.m.–1 p.m. Free; preregister. parentmap.com/foresters

� Gather in person or join online for this year’s hybrid edition of Tếet in Seattle, celebrating Lunar New Year and Vietnamese cultural traditions

� Feel the love and share time together preparing Valentine’s Day–themed sweet treats for your dear ones. Think heartshaped red whoopie pies and adorable Neapolitan cupcakes. Valentine’s Day is Monday, Feb. 14, but you can make these anytime. parentmap.com/ sweets-for-sweeties � Pour your coffee, park the kids in front of the iPad and tune in to learn practical ways that families can support anti-bias education during ParentMap’s virtual live talk by social justice advocate Scotland Nash, Ed.D. Wednesday, Feb. 16, 1 p.m. $0–$15; preregister. parentmap.com/live � Citizen science needs you! Tally the birds you see — from your yard, a park or any other locale — during one 15-minute time span and log your findings with the Great Backyard Bird Count. Friday–Monday, Feb.

Clover Park Technical College, Lakewood parentmap.com/lunar-new-year

18–21. Free; preregister. parentmap.com/bird-count

� It’s the Year of the Tiger! Join the South Sound community to celebrate Lunar New Year in person with games, activities, demos and live performances from a variety of Asian countries and cultures. Saturday, Feb. 19, 11 a.m.–6 p.m. Free. parentmap.com/lunar-new-year

� Snag your spots in a fascinating behind-the-scenes tour of the Padilla Bay National Estuarine Research Reserve aquarium. You can stick your fingers (gently!) in the touch tanks and watch the fish eat their lunch. Don’t delay; spots fill quickly. Saturday, Feb. 26, 10–11 a.m. Free; preregister. parentmap.com/fish-feeding � Live theater is back?! Yes! Mask up to enjoy the wild antics of the Cat in the Hat, Horton and other beloved characters in this Dr. Seuss mash-up for all ages performed by Tacoma Musical Playhouse. Feb. 26–March 6. Tickets $12–$15. parentmap.com/seuss

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Nancy Chaney is ParentMap’s Out + About editor.

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LO CAL R ES O UR CES / CAM P S : ARTS + ACT I V I T IES

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Doe Bay Resort & Retreat

Make a Quick Getaway 6 sensational off-season Northwest destinations for couples and families By Kate Missine

Editor’s note: At press time, the CDC issued a level-4 travel health notice advising against travel to Canada. This article includes two destinations in British Columbia. Pop them onto your bucket list for future travel.

With holiday festivities in the rearview mirror and plenty of long, dark winter days still ahead, this time of year can easily feel gloomy. What better way to brighten up flagging spirits than with a semi-spontaneous getaway? These relaxing regional destinations are a more affordable alternative to pricey and crowded ski resorts, offering quiet, serene vibes to enjoy before the rush of spring break. Sneak in some time away from the littles and reconnect on a couples-only, no-kids-allowed retreat, just in time for Valentine’s Day; or bring the whole family along for a calming midwinter break at one of these unique off-season getaway picks. All of them furnish plenty to do inside and out, and are located within a few hours’ drive of home.

Kiddos-optional stays 1. Doe Bay Resort & Retreat, Olga,

Washington • doebay.com If peaceful wilderness with creature comforts is your jam, head over to this slice of remote waterfront. Spread across 38 acres on the southeast edge of Orcas Island, Doe Bay Resort & Retreat is a serene respite with something for everyone. Stay in: Choose from a wide variety of accommodations here, from rustic cabins for two to fully outfitted ones for families and groups, as well as seasonal yurts and campsites. Take a dip in the outdoor soaking tubs situated to take in the gorgeous view, or enjoy a massage or yoga session. A library, firepit and playground are available

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O UT + AB O UT continued from page 25

for the whole family to enjoy. Hungry? Grab a bite at the café, which serves the freshest “seed to table” fare made with ingredients grown in the on-site organic garden. Head out: Orcas Island is a pristine paradise for nature lovers, with plenty of adventures to be had, including hiking, cycling, water sports and more, along with local museums and an arts scene. Beachcombing on the private beach, kayaking and whale-watching tours are available to arrange through the resort. A mile away, Moran State Park beckons with more than 5,000 acres of grounds to explore.

2. The Society Hotel, Bingen, Washington • thesocietyhotel.com This sleek, minimalist hotel (which is actually a converted 1908 schoolhouse!) in the scenic Columbia River Gorge features crisp Scandi-modern spaces and a unique bathhouse and spa. Stay in: Spacious rooms and private cabins offer stylish, modern accommodations; there is also a hostel-like bunkroom, in case you’ve got a crew of teens with you looking for more independence. A main attraction is the groovy bathhouse, where various saltwater pools await inside and out. Afterwards, chill at the café and library lounge, or stroll around the pretty courtyard.

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The Society Hotel; photo by We Are PDX

Head out: The Columbia River Gorge is one of the region’s most spectacular natural wonders, with jaw-dropping landscapes to behold at every turn. On the Oregon side of the gorge, viewing the dozens of incredible waterfalls is a must (columbiarivergorge.info). Stop by the charming town of Hood River to browse cute shops and nosh at restaurants; transportation buffs will appreciate a stop at the Western Antique Aeroplane & Automobile Museum (waaamuseum.org). continued on page 28

July 11-29

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continued from page 26

3. Paradise Village, Ashford, Washington • paradisevillagelodge.com What kid — or grown-up — could resist a dip in something called the “Cannibal Hot Tub”? This and other right-out-of-a-storybook wonders await families at Paradise Village, a quaint family-operated hotel in the picturesque town of Ashford.

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Stay in: Take your pick of modern, recently renovated family rooms and cabins with a rustic-chic vibe, complete with flat-screen TVs, Bluetooth sound systems and heated bathroom floors. The on-site restaurant and bakery dish up hearty European comfort food and treats — full breakfast is included! And, of course, there’s the famous hot tub, which heats up slowly, like a cauldron, over an open fire. Head out: Set at the base of Mount Rainier and just 6 miles from the Nisqually entrance to Mount Rainier National Park, the lodge is surrounded by stunning scenery (making it a favorite venue for weddings), and offers endless options for hiking, biking and other ways to explore the famous peak. A short drive away is Northwest Trek Wildlife Park (nwtrek.org), where you’re assured a full day’s worth of wild-child play (see The Play List, p. 22).

Grill restaurant, where you can dine on an all-you-can-eat array of artful spa-cuisine tapas while decked out comfortably in your bathrobes and slippers! Head out: The resort’s private stretch of shoreline is prime beachcombing territory during low tides. Venture farther out to the North Island Wildlife Recovery Centre (niwra.org) to enjoy a close-up and personal look at eagles, owls, bears and other creatures. Additional unique adventures — everything from Pacific Northwest rain forest tours to familyfriendly spelunking at nearby Horne Lake Caves (hornelake.com) — can be arranged through the resort. And don’t miss the Old Country Market (oldcountrymarket.com) in the tiny town of Coombs, where you can stock up on local goodies and watch goats grazing right on the roof!

Grown-ups only (sorry, kids!) 5. Posthotel, Leavenworth, Washington •

posthotelleavenworth.com “Poshhotel” might be a better name for this glamorous adults-only property nestled in the heart of the Bavarian-themed town of Leavenworth. Alpine-inspired wellness experiences and elegant European-style rooms make this spa resort destination an attractive option for pandemic-stressed couples in need of some serious pampering.

4. Tigh-Na-Mara Seaside Spa Resort,

Parksville, British Columbia, Canada • tigh-na-mara.com Stretching along the shores of Vancouver Island, this truly spectacular oceanfront resort requires a bit of a longer trek and involves a border crossing and ferry ride. But it’s worth it! Tigh-Na-Mara is best known for its award-winning spa, which features a stone grotto, mineral pools, waterfalls and a decadent menu of spa treatments.

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Stay in: Handcrafted log guest rooms and cottage bungalows offer a secluded atmosphere, cozy rustic décor and a slew of luxury amenities, including in-room Jacuzzi tubs, fireplaces and private balconies overlooking the beach. Sports courts, barbecue grills and a playground are tucked away throughout the forested grounds. A must is the Treetop Tapas &

Posthotel; photo by Todd Pierce

Stay in: The spacious rooms come fully decked out for ultimate luxury, with kingsize beds, sitting areas with fireplaces and hand-carved marble soaking tubs. Breakfast and light lunch are included with your stay. Spend endless hours at the wellness center, where a variety of saltwater hydrotherapy pools, saunas, Jacuzzis and even nap rooms await. For more relaxation, there’s a full-service spa, a library and a lobby terrace that overlooks the river. Head out: Even if you’ve visited before, charming Leavenworth is always fun to explore — wander the village streets, shop, and stop by for some yummy German brats and locally brewed bier. Nearby, hiking, snowshoeing and cross-country-skiing trails are plentiful, along with an adorable reindeer farm (leavenworthreindeer.com). Golfers will enjoy the Enzian Falls Championship Putting Course, available

seasonally (April–October) for use by hotel guests.

6. Kitoki Inn, Bowen Island, British Columbia, Canada • kitoki-inn.com Entailing another border-hopping adventure, this Zen adults-only retreat in the serene woods of British Columbia’s Bowen Island is a little less than a four-hour drive from Seattle. Inspired by the tradition of Japanese bathhouses, the inn combines a calming minimalist aesthetic with West Coast style for a uniquely restorative experience. Stay in: The inn’s three cedar cabins (each accommodating two guests) are thoughtfully designed with custom artisan woodwork, private decks and floor-to-ceiling windows affording an unobstructed view of the forest. The resort’s one-of-a-kind outdoor bathhouse is inspired by the Japanese onsen (hot springs), and includes a hot tub and

hydrotherapy shower in a covered open-air space to enjoy year-round. A wood-burning outdoor fireplace, a game and puzzle library, and an in-room breakfast selection complete the cocooning comforts. Note: Given the inn’s small size (and in light of current COVID-19 travel advisories), you’ll need to get your name on the waitlist for a future visit. Head out: The small community of Bowen Island is known for its vibrant local arts scene, featuring galleries, boutiques and great restaurants. The island is also a mecca for outdoorsy types, offering miles of forested trails to explore, mountain biking, kayaking and more; hikers looking for a challenge can make the trek up Mount Gardner, Bowen Island’s tallest peak.

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Kate Missine is a lifestyle writer, food lover and girly girl raising two little boys in beautiful Sammamish.

LO CAL R ES O UR C ES / CAM P S : ARTS + ACT I V I T I ES

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The Big Sleepaway Great books to help your child prepare for overnight camp Few summer traditions generate as much anticipation and anxiety as sleepaway camp. Parents worry about whether their kids are ready (or whether they are), and kids worry about being away from home and lonely. But one thing is for sure: Sleepaway camp creates memories that last a lifetime. It’s no surprise that summer camp stories are almost a genre unto themselves. Even if your kid isn’t in summer camp this year, they’ll still probably enjoy reading about it.

Picture books Preschoolers probably won’t be going to sleepaway camp, but they will still be curious about it, especially if older siblings are going. Natasha Wing’s “The Night Before Summer Camp” is a picture book written in the same meter as the classic Christmas poem. It tells the story of a little camper who doesn’t know what to expect from camp. For the little ones left behind, James and Eamon’s free-time adventures in Marla Frazee’s “A Couple of Boys Have the Best Week Ever”

Tips on helping your kids prepare for overnight camp Overnight camps can be a fabulous opportunity for kids to learn independence, gain new skills and make lifelong friends. But just because your child meets the age guidelines of a camp doesn’t mean they’re ready. Here are tips on how to tell whether your child would benefit from overnight camp and how to prepare them for the experience. Practice: Day camps are a great first step. Some overnight camps also offer shorter overnight camps, and in some cases, parents can accompany their child. Another litmus test is when a child can stay for several days with a relative or friend, without parents around, and not be anxious. Let the child choose. One way to tell if your child is ready for overnight camp is, quite simply, if they ask to go. And allowing your child to help choose the camp or particular session as well as helping them learn about the new environment can boost confidence and ease fears. Stop and listen. Do what you can to limit the influence of your

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overshadow the activities at nature camp. Older siblings might seem different when they get back from camp, but at least they aren’t likely to exhibit Maddie’s feral changes from “Wolf Camp” (by Katie McKy). Middle grade reads Nobody needs to be reminded that the wildly popular Percy Jackson books by Rick Riordan take place in part at a summer camp for demigods (check out Camp

own fond memories of camp. Just because you had a great time at Camp Granada back in the day doesn’t mean the same will be true for Junior. Listen to your child and customize the camp experience to their needs, wants and interests. Learn about the overnight camp. Once you’ve signed up for a camp, use the camp’s orientation booklets, website, counselors or alumni to research the environment beforehand. Share this information with your child. Help them overcome feelings of homesickness. The American Camp Association estimates 90 percent of children who attend sleepaway camp experience some degree of homesickness. So, here’s a tip: Give your kid a small piece of home. Such a “transitional object” could be a favorite blanket or stuffed animal or, for an older child, a lucky coin or (faux) rabbit’s foot to make the trip a good one. Also, choose your words carefully. While it is helpful to say, “It’s normal to be homesick,” don’t say things (such as “I hope you’ll be okay”) that could instill fear or apprehension. Instead, be enthusiastic and optimistic!

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— Hilary Benson

LO CAL R ES O UR C ES / CAM P S : ARTS + ACT I V I T I ES

Half-Blood in Leavenworth if you have a Percy fan in your house; digivations.com), but there are plenty of other middle-grade summer camp stories to choose from. Elissa Brent Weissman’s “Nerd Camp” celebrates kids who love their calculators as much as camping. In Lisa Jenn Bigelow’s “Drum Roll, Please,” two weeks at Camp Rockaway are just what shy 13-year-old Melly needs to help her navigate her parents’ divorce, her best friend’s sudden abandonment and a crush on another girl. The “Lumberjanes” graphic novels by Noelle Stevenson take place at a summer camp for “Hardcore Lady Types.” Beginning with “Beware the Kitten Holy,” five spunky, lovable characters challenge gender stereotypes as they explore events both supernatural and surreal. Young adult titles Despite dealing with race, faith and sexuality, Melanie Gillman’s graphic novel “As the Crow Flies” skews toward the younger side of YA. Charlie is excited to attend Camp Three Peaks for feminist Christians until she discovers she is the only queer black girl at camp. Will God help her learn to speak up to her well-meaning camp mates who aren’t aware of their own biases? Rachel Mann’s “On Blackberry Hill” follows Reena to the same Jewish summer camp that her late mother attended decades earlier. Gabe Durham’s light-hearted “Fun Camp” uses many different voices and formats — including letters home, lists and monologues from very different characters — to illustrate the full camp experience.

Find Your Adventure.

Find Your Friends.

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— Gemma Alexander

Find Your fun. seattleymca.org/camp PA R E N T M A P / F E B R U A R Y 2 0 2 2 / 3 1

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ParentMap February 2022 Issue

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Spotlight on Virtual Ed

Plan a ‘We Time’ Getaway

Voices in Education

5 Trendy Tutorial Sites for Crafty Kids