ParentMap Learning Issue 2024 by ParentMap

Learning 2024/2025

FEATURES

How Best to Support Learning-Resistant Students 7

Getting to the root of school anxiety can support kids experiencing it

Answering the Call 17 Why local schools are cracking down on student cell phone use

10 Activities That Encourage Kids to Save 25 Put away the piggy bank, or better yet, make it! Turn your kids into savers

A Return to Reading 35

Helpful strategies to push past the “decline by 9” in the digital age

Hook a Book Lover 39 10 lures to reel your kids into a love of reading

A Busy Parents Guide to School Volunteerism 43 Creative ways to pitch in at your kid’s school, even if you’re short on time

Unfortunately, now kids as young as 6 or 7 years old start suffering from anxiety,

Book Nerds, Unite!

I have fond memories of staying up way past my bedtime to read — a pile of books squirreled away next to me under the covers, and my trusty flashlight guiding the way to adventures that were far more exciting than sleeping. Of quietly reading “Sweet Valley High” books beside my friend Carrie during middle school sleepovers, an open bag of gummy worms strategically placed between us, so we didn’t even have to look up from our riveting tales to grab a snack. And don’t even get me started on my high school friends, who still give me shit for choosing Stephen King’s “Misery” over their witty banter during lunch hour for an entire week of freshman year.

If you haven’t guessed yet, I was a bookworm. And as such, I thought I would raise bookworm children. And I was … for a while anyway. But somewhere around fifth grade, my firstborn stopped packing his current read for road trips and plane rides. He stopped carrying a “free read” novel to and from school. And eventually I stopped getting him new books for the holidays each year, because after a while, you notice when the spines haven’t even been cracked. Turns out, he wasn’t the only one. Last summer Scholastic’s Kids & Family Reading Report included information about the “decline by 9,” a phenomenon that marks a steep drop in pleasure-reading rates among kids between ages 8 and 9. Writer Gemma Alexander talked to local educators about the issue and gathered suggestions for keeping kids engaged in reading past that critical point (p. 35). We’ve paired that gem with a list of sorts — 10 ways to lure your kids into a love of reading (p. 39).

While encouraging a reluctant reader to make their way through a good book can be tough (especially when you’re a voracious reader like I am), so is motivating a learning-resistant student. Gemma Alexander’s article on school anxiety (p. 7) explores its root causes through local educator interviews, and provides helpful suggestions to reduce that sense of dread that can ultimately prevent kids from finding academic success. For many, having access to a cell phone during school hours heightens that anxiety. That’s why so many schools across the state have upped their game by cracking down on cell phone use during class time. Senior editor Kristin Leong spoke to area school personnel to find out just what’s being done to address the problem (p. 17). Her article is the most recent in our series inspired by “The Anxious Generation,” examining how cell phones have drastically altered childhood.

Finally, take a few minutes to read Jenna Vandenberg’s article on ways parents can lend a helping hand in their kids’ classrooms this school year, even if they’re strapped for time (p. 43). Or get creative teaching your kids to save for the future (p. 25) — it’ll be here before they know it.

— Allison Sutcliffe, managing editor

LEARNING 2024/2025

PUBLISHER

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EDITORIAL

MANAGING EDITOR

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School Avoidance

Helping LearningResistant Students Achieve

Exploring the roots of school anxiety and how to support kids experiencing it

By Gemma Alexander

When a child dreads going to school every day and seems to spend more time in the nurse’s office with vague illnesses than in the classroom, or a child constantly acts up in class when they should be working, it’s an obvious red flag. But it’s a lot harder to know what lies at the root of school avoidance. Children might be dealing with bullying or with anxiety. By now most parents are familiar with social anxiety, but for some children, academic anxiety — often compounded by learning or developmental difficulties — can result in learning reluctance.

Signs of anxiety

“Ten to 15 years ago, I could have told you that anxiety appears in adolescence. But unfortunately, now kids as young as 6 or 7 years old start suffering from anxiety,” says Adi Wallach, the biomedical engineer who founded CalmiGo, which makes a device to help children and adults manage their anxiety and panic attacks.

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“It’s harder to diagnose anxiety when it comes to kids. In many cases, it will manifest in physical symptoms,” says Wallach.

Children have a harder time finding the words to communicate their feelings than adults do, but even describing physical symptoms can be challenging for a child. A former teacher who taught second and third grades for more than two decades before founding Northwest Kids

A child experiencing anxiety during class will demonstrate lack of attention and focus, slow processing and poor memory.

Life Coaching, Althea Chow often suggests that children “draw on a body-shaped outline on paper the different feelings or sensations they experience when feeling stressed or anxious. Using different colors or patterns could be helpful for younger children to use instead of descriptive words.”

Physical symptoms of anxiety can include stomach pain, headaches or a ringing in the ears, tension leading to shortness of breath, sleep disruptions, loss of appetite and general soreness.

“It’s also behavioral changes that can be interpreted as tantrums — whatever it is that can express their feelings,” says Wallach. “A child that suffers from anxiety becomes, in many cases, more dependent on their parents, because anxiety is very frightening. They avoid situations and places that, first of all, will trigger their anxiety, and second, where they will be without their parents. This dependency makes the whole family more stressed and anxious, and it creates a lot of problems in school.”

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Although an anxious child can exhibit a wide range of behaviors that are easily mistaken for other issues, primary indicators for anxiety are: excessive worry, physical symptoms, avoidance and difficulty in school.

Diagnosing anxiety

“It’s hard to differentiate [anxiety from other issues], and this is why it’s very recommended to do a few types of assessments to find out exactly what is going on,” says Wallach. “A lot of symptoms can be confusing, and there is also a high comorbidity between learning disabilities or ADHD and anxiety, and you don’t want to miss one of them. A child might have anxiety, but they could still have ADHD as well.”

Anxiety and learning issues can also compound one another.

“Kids with ADHD or learning disabilities, because school is harder for them than their peers, they can develop anxiety that is specifically related to learning. School will be a stressful place for them,” says Wallach. Children who are behind in school due to extended absences or who do not yet

speak English fluently can also develop anxiety related to learning. At the same time, anxiety, regardless of the trigger, can impair learning.

“Because the sympathetic nervous system is very activated when a child is anxious — in a kind of fight or flight response if you will — this very badly affects their cognitive functions,” says Wallach. A child experiencing anxiety during class will demonstrate lack of attention and focus, slow processing and poor memory.

Managing anxiety

Therapy and medication may be necessary to treat anxiety, and a diagnosis is often necessary to obtain accommodations at school. With a thorough assessment, it’s possible to treat comorbidities concurrently, which can produce amazing results. While the importance of accurate assessment and

diagnosis cannot be overstated, school reluctance can be the result of insecurities that do not meet diagnostic criteria for anxiety.

“Often, there is an underlying feeling of insecurity about whether they are measuring up to the expectations. If they tend to compare themselves to peers and have typically struggled to ‘perform’ or get ‘good grades’ — especially if they are highly sensitive — a student’s self-esteem can suffer with even an innocuous comment, and certainly when a tone of disapproval is used by their peers or teachers,” says Chow.

Whether you are waiting for a diagnosis or your child is simply dealing with garden-variety nerves and school pressures, “There are things that you can do right away that can be helpful,” says Wallach.

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EDUCATION

continued from page 9

Supportive environment

“To support children experiencing anxiety about school, I recommend that parents prioritize listening to their children share about their feelings and reasoning, but hold off on trying to convince them that those reasons are unjustified or attempting to ‘fix’ a problem. Don’t rush to try to make them feel better. Continue to respond with curiosity and caring interest,” says Chow.

“Sometimes schoolrelated anxiety bubbles up because there are many unknown answers. Healthy routines and the elimination of surprises can give children a feeling of control”

Teresa Sherwood, a facilitator for English language learning at Stevenson Elementary in Bellevue, says, “When you’re first learning a language, you need a little confidence boost to get over the personal risk that it feels like it is when you’re not totally sure.” The fear of making mistakes is a common theme for anxious students with learning reluctance, and one of the best ways to allay those fears is through modeling.

“A lot of that can be overcome by modeling risk-taking behavior yourself, modeling comfort with making mistakes. It can be a really big confidence boost for a lot of students,” says Sherwood. When they see adults in their lives misspelling or forgetting words, then accepting help to find answers, students learn that mistakes are not the end of the world.

“When it comes to school, creating a kind of task force, if you will, with the teacher and the parent making sure that the kid doesn’t feel judged, but feels supported — that never hurts,” says Wallach. Depending on the district, accommodations like extra time to complete assignments or a quiet space to take tests may require a diagnosis, but teachers are often able to provide some kind of individualized

continued from page 10

support, or at least some sympathy and understanding, if parents keep them in the loop.

“Sometimes school-related anxiety bubbles up because there are many unknown answers,” says Chow. Healthy routines and the elimination of surprises can give children a feeling of control.

Sherwood ensures that her students know in advance what activities are planned so that they are not surprised when they enter the classroom and can be emotionally and academically prepared.

“Routine, for kids in general but especially for anxious kids, is very helpful because it reduces a lot of their worries,” says Wallach. And if previous school failures have created an adversarial approach to homework, or your family is suffering from the kind of elevated tension Wallach describes, taking a step back to rebuild a positive environment and supportive relationship with your child is critical.

Exercise

Physical activity, especially done outdoors, is a known stress reliever.

“It’s enough just to have some time in the fresh air and to do some physical activity. They don’t need to be the next Simone Biles,” says Wallach. In fact, pushing too hard or being too competitive can be counterproductive for anxious kids.

Nutrition

Wallach acknowledges that changing a child’s diet is not easy, especially if you have an anxious child who resists any kind of change. But sugar and processed foods are associated with higher levels of stress and anxiety. It’s not necessary to convert kids to a strict whole-food diet — any incremental reduction in the amount of sugar and processed food is helpful.

“Caffeine and alcohol are usually not used by children,” says Wallach, but these can also contribute to anxiety, and parents may be surprised by the amounts of caffeine contained in sodas, sports drinks and even chocolate — items that are also usually loaded with sugar.

Mindfulness

Although adults often use meditation and mindfulness practice in response to stress and

anxiety, they tend to assume that these methods are not accessible to kids. But there are many different techniques, and they can be as simple as taking a few deep breaths.

“The important thing is to find something that they can do by themselves, because you want them to be independent and feel like they can control their feelings and their anxiety,” says Wallach. This means avoiding complex routines in favor of simple practices, such as muscle relaxation using guided imagery, or breathing techniques such as box breathing or “blowing out candles.”

“Teach a child to imagine that they are blowing out birthday candles. This is something they know how to do, and it has a nice association,” says Wallach.

There are numerous picture books that help teach mindfulness and breathing

to children that can be used as bedtime stories. Parents should teach their child the technique and practice it with them before expecting them to use it in the moment.

“We invented CalmiGo exactly because, even for adults, it’s not easy to do breathing techniques correctly if you are anxious or feel overwhelmed,” says Wallach. “It’s successful with kids because it’s simple and they can use it without their parents being around. They can use it in school, gaining the confidence that they can calm by themselves and stop avoiding school.”

Stay calm and carry on “For parents who don’t suffer from anxiety, it’s hard to know how to support [their anxious child]. I would definitely recommend to ask for help,” says Wallach. Whether that’s through private therapy, coaching sessions or the resources at their child’s school,

parents dealing with a learningreluctant child benefit from the knowledge and support of others. “There are also a lot of resources online. But I would be cautious. Dr. Google is not always the best physician in the world. But things like Facebook groups for peer-to-peer support are very helpful. Although anxiety is so common, there is a lot of loneliness in this situation, both for the child and for the parent,” says Wallach.

Dealing with a child who refuses to attend or engage at school can quickly feel overwhelming. But Wallach assures parents, “It’s treatable and it won’t always be like this.” ■

Seattle-based freelance writer Gemma Alexander focuses on the intersection of parenting and the arts. When she’s not writing for ParentMap, she blogs at gemmadeealexander.com and tweets @gemmadeetweet.

Cell Phones in Classrooms

Answering the Call

Youth mental health crisis and learning loss fuel demand for clear phone policies in local schools

By Kristin Leong

As parents pour money into “dumb phones” and apps that promise to protect kids from adult predators and peer bullies, educators are also declaring enough is enough.

According to a recent nationwide survey of nearly 3,000 of its members, the National Education Association found that 90 percent of educators are all for banning cell phones and personal devices during instruction time.

As a new school year gets underway, districts are facing a Sisyphean challenge. Schools must prioritize student wellness and classroom engagement, all while supporting teacher autotomy, preparing students for a tech-driven society, and taking into account the diverse communication and access needs of students.

Here’s how Seattle-area schools are responding to this challenge.

continued from page 17

Seattle Public Schools bans cell phones in two North Seattle middle schools

As part of a new pilot program, Seattle Public Schools (SPS) is banning cell phones at Hamilton International Middle School in Wallingford, and Robert Eagle Staff Middle School in Licton Springs for the 2024–2025 school year. SPS is our state’s largest school district, with an enrollment of nearly 50,000 students.

In an email to ParentMap, SPS communications specialist Sophia Charchuk underscored that the district is aiming to balance the benefits of using technology as a learning tool with the need to reduce distractions caused by phones in the classroom. She explained that this pilot approach will enable the district to test the feasibility of school-wide bans while evaluating their effectiveness and gathering feedback from the community.

In an email sent to parents of Lincoln High School students on Aug. 30, SPS Principal Corey Eichner informed families that the school is standardizing a “phone zone” policy this year, which designates specific areas in each classroom where students must store their cell phones during class time. Eichner clarified that while Lincoln students are still allowed to use their devices before and after school, during passing periods, at lunch and for specific learning activities or accommodations, unauthorized use will result in escalating consequences, ranging from verbal reminders to meetings with administrators and parents to establish a digital citizenship contract. Lincoln High School is also in North Seattle’s Wallingford neighborhood.

Lake Washington High School aims to reel in both earbud and phone use

The Lake Washington School District (LWSD), the state’s second-largest public school district with nearly 30,000 students, acknowledged in an email to ParentMap that student cell phone use during the school day is a concern for students, staff and families. However, Shannon Parthemer, LWSD director of communications, also stated, “At this time, we have not made any changes to our existing cell phone policies for students.” She added that LWSD remains “committed to regularly reviewing our policies to ensure they meet

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While LWSD’s rules for use of districtprovided laptops are extensively detailed on the district’s website, there are no specific cell phone policies noted.

However, the 2024–2025 student handbook for Lake Washington High School states that personal technology, including phones and earbuds, must be kept out of use and out of sight during learning times unless a teacher grants specific permission. The policy outlines a series of escalating consequences for unauthorized use, starting with the teacher keeping the device until the end of the class period and progressing to administra-

tive involvement and potential detention for repeated offenses. Additionally, the policy states that severer violations involving personal technology, such as bullying or academic dishonesty, may result in consequences beyond the standard policy.

Tacoma Schools invite principals to lead policy

Tacoma Public Schools (TPS) is Washington’s fourth-largest district, serving nearly 27,000 students. Via email, Chief Communications Officer Tanisha Jumper stated that TPS does not currently have a district-wide policy on student cell phone use. Instead, principals at individual schools set expectations for personal electronic devices. Jumper noted that TPS does not have any school-wide cell phone bans in place at this time.

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TPS Principal Amber Samuels outlined a clear cell phone policy in a public letter to parents and guardians of her Gray Middle School students. The policy states that students must leave cell phones and other personal devices in lockers or backpacks for the duration of the school day in order to minimize distractions and support a focused learning environment. Her letter explains that for emergencies, students may use phones in the school’s main office or nurse’s office, and the school will assist in relaying messages as needed. Consequences for violating the policy include confiscation of the device, with first offenses resulting in the phone being returned at the end of the day; second offenses requiring a parent pickup of the phone; and repeated offenses leading to further discussions with parents and school administration.

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Bellevue School District keeps cell phone policy from 12 years ago Bellevue School District (BSD) has maintained the same cell phone policy since 2012, according to an email to ParentMap from John Harrison, BSD’s chief of staff. The policy restricts the use of telecommunications devices, including cell phones, to before and after school hours, during lunch breaks or in emergencies. Any use that disrupts the learning environment, violates privacy or compromises academic integrity is prohibited under this policy, with violations resulting in disciplinary actions. The policy allows school officials to confiscate devices and conduct searches based on reasonable suspicion, with parents or law enforcement involved in cases where legal violations are suspected.

Harrison acknowledged that “imple-

mentation [of this policy] has been inconsistent between teachers and schools.” He added that in response to growing concerns about student phone use since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic and the rise of online learning, BSD’s school board plans to revise the policy based on lessons learned from last year’s experiences at secondary schools.

Issaquah School District allows schools to determine their own policies

The Issaquah School District (ISD) does not currently have a district-wide cell phone policy, instead allowing each school to develop its own rules with input from students, staff and families.

Policies differ from campus to campus. For example, at Maywood Middle School, students are expected to put their phones away for the full dura-

tion of the school day, while Pine Lake Middle School leaves cell phone rules up to individual teachers.

While the specific language varies from policy to policy at the various ISD high schools, generally phones for high schoolers are expected to be put away during instructional time unless given explicit teacher permission to use personal devices as part of the class.

In an email to ParentMap, ISD’s director of communication, Wendy Castleman, noted that the ISD school board recently began discussions on potentially creating a district-wide policy, citing reasons such as prioritizing student mental health, reducing distractions and increasing engagement in the classroom. “Our current stance is that we support our schools as they develop methods and practices,” Castleman stated.

continued from page 21

Highline Public Schools remains vague about cell phone policies, but gets specific about social media

Highline Public Schools (HPS) does not have a district-wide policy regarding cell phone use, said Tove Tupper, HPS chief communications officer, through email. Instead, as with the Issaquah School District, individual Highline schools determine their own rules. Tupper said that some schools require students to hand in their phones to the teacher at the start of each class period, while others permit students to keep their phones with them throughout the day.

While HPS doesn’t disclose cell phone policies on the district website, it does outline extensive student guidelines for social media use. Students are advised to post only content they are comfortable sharing publicly, avoid promoting illegal activities or sharing personal information, and represent themselves honestly. Constructive and respectful dialogue is encouraged, and students are urged to be cautious with language while ensuring online safety by protecting their personal information. The guidelines emphasize that students are accountable for their online behavior and must avoid content that disrupts the educational environment or infringes on others’ rights, whether on or off school property.

Hang in there, parents, educators and students

5th through 12th Grade

The good news is, we’re not alone in any of this. Whether you’re tired of explaining to your elementary school kiddo that she’s not actually the only person on earth who isn’t allowed to have an Instagram account, or you’re a teacher competing with YouTube to get your students’ attention, or you’re a high school student who knows that keeping an earbud in during class is distracting you from your learning but that music feels like a need and not a want, we’re all essentially fighting the same monster: an addictive algorithm that doesn’t care if children — or tweens, or teens or adults — get left behind.

Let’s keep the conversation going as we navigate this new school year and this era of the endless scroll together. ■

Kristin

Leong, M.Ed. is ParentMap’s senior editor.

Children Saving for College

10 Simple Activities That Encourage Kids to Save

By Rodger O’Connor

Saving money — whether it’s for something small, such as a coveted toy or trendy accessory, or a big-ticket item, such as a computer, car or future education — is an often challenging and vitally important life skill to teach kids. And it’s harder than ever in a world geared toward instant gratification. But if you put a creative spin on it, saving money goes from daunting to engaging just like that, as your kids practice good habits and save for whatever their future may hold in the process.

Whether your kids earn money by completing chores, earning an allowance or just turning another year older (thanks for the fiver, Grandma!), instilling good savings habits is an important part of managing those earnings. Here are ten ways to help kids earn, learn and save, and have fun doing it, too.

1/ Go on a savings-challenge treasure hunt: This activity not only encourages saving but also adds an element of excitement and mystery, turning saving into a thrilling adventure for kids. Organize a treasure hunt around your house or neighborhood. Then, create clues that lead to hidden jars of coins

or bills. Each jar should be associated with a different savings goal set by your child, such as a toy they’ve had their eye on or a contribution toward their future education.

2/ Craft a piggy bank: Gather old jars, shoeboxes or other types of containers and let the kids unleash their creativity by turning them into personalized piggy banks. They can use

paints, stickers, magazine clippings or anything you have around the house to make them unique. Label each piggy bank with a specific savings goal, such as “Ice cream fund” or “Save for something big.” This hands-on approach makes saving tangible and fun.

3/ Play savings bingo: Create a bingo card with different savings goals or actions, such as “Save a dollar,” “Skip

continued from page 25

a treat day” or “Earn money doing chores.” Each time a child completes one of these actions, they can mark it on their bingo card. Offer small rewards or prizes for getting bingo or filling in the entire card. This game makes saving interactive and encourages kids to set and achieve financial goals.

4/ Set up a lemonade stand: A classic kid activity, running a lemonade stand teaches kids valuable lessons about money and entrepreneurship. Help them plan and budget for ingredients, set prices and track their sales at the booth. Encourage them to save a portion of their earnings for future goals, such as their education, or donate to a cause they care about. It’s a fun way to learn about profit, expenses and the importance of saving for the future.

5/ Make saving scientific: Combine learning with saving by conducting simple science experiments that illustrate saving concepts. For example, use jars and different colored rocks or liquids to demonstrate how money saved over time can accumulate. Discuss concepts such as interest and growth over time in terms that kids can understand. Hands-on experiments make abstract ideas concrete and memorable.

6/ Read a savings-focused story: Find books that center around the concept of saving money or making informed financial decisions. After reading together, discuss the story and its lessons about saving. Ask kids how they would handle similar situations, and encourage them to think about their own saving goals. Stories can be powerful tools for teaching kids

about saving in a relatable way.

7/ Create a goal-setting vision board: Help kids create a vision board for their savings goals. Provide magazines, newspapers and art supplies so they can cut out pictures and words that represent their goals, such as toys, trips or future college plans. Display the vision board prominently so they can visualize their goals and stay the course. This visual approach makes saving feel tangible and exciting.

8/ Challenge the whole family: Turn saving into a friendly competition by setting up a family savings challenge. Each family member can set a savings goal, whether it’s a small purchase or a family outing. Track progress on a chart or whiteboard that everyone can see. Celebrate milestones together and encourage each other to stay

committed to their goals. This fosters a supportive environment and reinforces the value of saving as a family.

9/ Play financial literacy games: Sit down to play an online game or board game designed to teach kids about money management and saving. Games such as Monopoly, The Game of Life or digital apps can simulate real-life financial scenarios in a fun and engaging way. Play together as a family or encourage kids to play with friends to reinforce financial concepts and strategic thinking.

10/ Plan a savings celebration: When your child has reached their savings goal, celebrate this monumental achievement with a special event or outing. It could be a picnic in the park, a trip to their favorite ice cream shop or a movie night at home. Recognize their efforts and the importance of reaching their savings goals. This reinforces their saving habits and encourages them to continue managing their money responsibly.

Teaching kids about saving doesn’t have to be dull or daunting. By incorporating these creative activities into their daily routines, parents can empower children with valuable financial skills that will benefit them for a lifetime.

While you’re concentrating on instilling strong habits in the kids, don’t forget about your own saving goals. Research the value of opening a 529 account for their education. Continue to contribute if you already have one. Washington College Savings Plans (WA529) offers two ways to save. GET is a prepaid tuition program in which you pay for future education at today’s prices. DreamAhead is a college investment plan. Your savings are invested as you wish and can grow over time. Both are excellent tools to help Washington families build their student’s future. Visit 529.wa.gov to learn more. ■

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The Anxious Generation: Essential Strategies for Rewiring Childhood | Oct. 15, 2024

Renowned social psychologist Jonathan Haidt, author of “The Anxious Generation,” will explore the key factors behind the rising rates of anxiety in kids and share practical steps parents and schools can take to reclaim childhood and protect our children’s mental well-being.

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Raising Digital Natives: Solutions for Healthy Screen Time Habits | Nov. 19, 2024

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All in a Day’s Play: Boosting Brain Power Through Play | Dec. 4, 2024

Beloved, Seattle-based educator Teacher Tom imparts insights learned throughout his decades-long career working with preschoolers. Learn his unique approach to child-led, play-based learning, and how you can foster a similar relationship and environment with the children in your life to help them learn and grow.

Navigating Neurodiversity: Strength-Based Support for ADHD Kids | Jan. 16, 2025

Renowned pediatric psychiatrist Dr. Edward Hallowell shares decades of experience and personal insights about the unique gifts of ADHD and other atypical learners. Learn how to nurture your child’s strengths and empower their sense of self-awareness and confidence.

One additional speaker will be announced soon!

Confident Conversations: Guiding Kids Through Puberty and Adolescence | Feb. 5,

2025

Trusted experts Julie Metzger, RN, and Peter Metzger, M.D. offer confidence-boosting approaches to challenging conversations for parents and kids about puberty, body changes, sex and other growing-up topics.

The Lost Art of Civility: Raising Respectful Kids | Feb. 25, 2025

Authors Robert B. Brooks and Sam Goldstein share powerful insights on one surprising solution to the lost art of civility. Learn how to promote empathy and encourage constructive dialogue at home, school and beyond.

Harmony at Home: Successfully Navigating Parent-Child Differences | March

20, 2025

Esteemed pediatric psychologist and parenting coach Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart shares practical strategies for building a strong parent-child connection, while supporting your child’s individuality and embracing their differences.

From Chaos to Calm: Compassionate Discipline for Spirited Kids |

April 1, 2025

Experienced parenting coach and “Raising Lions” author Joe Newman offers valuable insights on how to transform distracted and defiant children into kids who are motivated, respectful and attentive. Newman explores the deeper purposes behind conflict and what parents can do to spark change and work toward a calmer home.

Let Go and Let Grow: Raising Confident, Independent Children | May 6, 2025

Author and Let Grow founder Lenore Skenazy shares her personal journey raising confident, independent kids and the growing movement to resist the pressures to be a hyper-involved parent in favor of a more laissez-faire approach to supporting children’s creativity, independence and growth.

Nurturing Resilience: Essential Coping Skills for Kids | June 5, 2025

Author and licensed mental health professional Janine Halloran offers parenting approaches to help kids learn to cope with the daily challenges of life, develop resilience and thrive.

*All talk times listed in Pacific Time (PT)

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Seattle Children’s is proud to be the presenting sponsor of the 2023–2024 ParentEd Talks series

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Literacy

Return to Reading

Pushing back against the ‘decline by 9’ trend

By Gemma Alexander

When Scholastic released its “Kids and Family Reading Report” in June, it caused a lot of panic. It found that when kids are about age 9, the critical measures of childhood literacy decrease dramatically and don’t rebound as kids move through adolescence.

“An important part of being a lifelong learner is finding texts that you connect with. A lot of what we know about other ways of doing comes from what we read. Having access to information and new points of view is something that helps us as a society to thrive,” says Teresa Sherwood, a teacher at Bellevue’s Stevenson Elementary School who specializes in English language learning (ELL) and special education. Reading helps us understand the people and events in the world around us; enhances creativity and imagination; and even provides health benefits. Research shows that reaching reading proficiency by third grade is a clear predictor of academic success. So what can parents do to prevent their child from becoming a literacy statistic?

“There’s some really scary statistics about kids who are not reading at grade level by the end of third grade, and the best way to get kids reading on grade level is to hook them on the joy and the pleasures of reading,” says Jeanette Hitch, a teacher at Seattle’s Fairmount Park Elementary School.

Lost literacy

In the 25 years that Hitch has been teaching third and fourth grades, screen time has risen dramatically. It’s estimated that American children ages 8–12 spend from four to six hours per day looking at screens. College admissions have become more competitive, leading to overscheduling at ever younger ages. All of these factors compound the challenge of a major literacy hurdle kids face at around age 9.

“Between ages 8 and 9, children are transitioning from picture books to chapter books. Chapter books require a bigger cognitive lift that can be intimidating for kids,” says Hitch.

Literacy rich

One of the most valuable things parents can do to help kids meet that challenge is to create a literacy-rich environment in the home, which signals to kids that reading is a pleasure, rather than just an academic challenge. Make sure that your child has access to lots of books at home, take them to browse used-

book stores and raid Little Free Libraries wherever you see them.

And of course, you can set an example by reading for pleasure yourself.

“I don’t think that kids are seeing their parents pick up books and read as much. That behavior isn’t being modeled. I’m guilty of it in my own home. When I have a few minutes in the evening, I’m just as likely now to pick up my phone,” says Hitch.

Sherwood points out that even if you are reading the news or a professional journal article online, “Our kids don’t necessarily see that as reading. From their point of view, we’re just looking at a screen and that could be YouTube.”

Modeling also includes reading your child bedtime stories or reading books to them that are too difficult for them to read themselves. You can listen to audiobooks together in the car. And don’t forget nonfiction.

continued from page 35

“How often has your kid asked you something and you don’t exactly know the answer? Those kinds of questions are really fun to research as a family,” says Hitch.

Give reading a nudge

Sherwood suggests “strewing,” or setting things out for your children to discover, as a gentle approach to encourage reading. Without commentary, “You just sort of casually leave some books around, maybe on the coffee table or at eye level. They won’t pick up every book that you share with them that way, but they might discover some new interests if they have the agency or choice over what they’re looking at.”

But if your kid isn’t soaking up your bookish atmosphere, it’s okay to intervene — to a point.

“Some kids just really need a little external motivation to jump through that hurdle to start reading on their own,” says Hitch. “I would do everything short of requiring kids to read.”

Parents can institute their own challenges with prizes for reading books, or try one of Hitch’s favorite tricks: a grace period in which “lights out” can be delayed by independent bedtime reading. What works for one child may not work for another. One kid might take pride in seeing the list of books on their reading log grow longer, while another might be discouraged by the challenge of writing down all the book titles.

That’s why Sherwood recommends, “Sometimes just asking kids directly, ‘Hey, what would make you want to read more?’ can be an excellent opener to a really interesting conversation.”

Reading rules

Taking a punitive or prescriptive approach can backfire and make kids dislike reading.

“As kids get older, there tends to be more of an emphasis on reading as an elevated pursuit. I think when we take a heavy-handed approach to literacy, we start to lose a lot of the joy of it,” says Sherwood.

That’s why both teachers firmly advise letting kids choose their own pleasure reading.

“Most of us, as adults, read what interests us. We don’t always read things that are exactly at our reading level and the most challenging possible texts that we could. Sometimes we just read for pleasure and to relax.”

That also means kids should be allowed to change their minds.

“I come down firmly on the side of ‘no’ for requiring kids to finish books. Reading should be enjoyable, and slogging through a book that you are just not interested in is not enjoyable,” says Hitch.

“The biggest mistake that I see is pushing for reading material that is too difficult,” says Hitch. “Children develop at their own pace, and their interests might be different from yours.”

Better books?

The books that are best for helping kids over the hurdle from picture books to reading hundreds of pages of text don’t always look like literature to parents.

“Those beginning chapter books that are highly predictable and follow the same plot pattern are great for kids who are just getting into middle-grade books. It’s interesting because they are often the books that parents kind of roll their eyes at. I don’t know a single parent that’s super excited to buy their kid a whole bunch of ‘Captain Underpants,’ but these are the kind of books that help our kids cross that hurdle between picture books and chapter books,” explains Hitch.

Hitch likes to use a nutrition metaphor for different types of reading.

“In class, I’m going to introduce them to a lot of fantastic literature that is going to give them the nutrients to help them become better readers and better students. I tell the kids, ‘You are welcome to read junk-food books. It won’t give you the nutrients you need to become a better reader, but it’s fun and enjoyable.’ It’s important to balance those two,” says Hitch. “One of the great things about being an adult who likes to read is that I have agency to pick exactly what I want to read, and I want students to experience that agency also.”

It’s developmentally appropriate to obsess over cookie-cutter series about magical kittens or

Pre-K - 5th Grade

At The Valley School, we ignite children’s natural passion for learning. Our students develop an academic foundation and become joyful learners through playful work, purposeful play, and the practice of community. To learn more about our school, visit www.thevalleyschool.org.

continued from page 37 devour everything the library has about sharks. But if you suspect your child is intimidated by the challenge of reading something new, Hitch recommends getting kids hooked on stories that motivate them. Ask your child’s teacher about your child’s instructional reading level and which books at that level other children are enjoying. You can look online for more ideas of “nutritious” books that are at the edge of your child’s skill level. Then revisit the gentle strategies of strewing, audiobooks and reading together.

“I am a huge fan of taking the first book of a series and reading it out loud. Something such as ‘A Series of Unfortunate Events’ that’s going to be really high interest. Read the first one together, and then I say, ‘If you want to know what happens next, you’ve got to read them by yourself!’” says Hitch.

Deeper issues

If you’ve created a literacy-rich environment, and your child enjoys audiobooks and the stories you read to them, but they still won’t pick up a book on their own, or they don’t seem to understand the books they read as well as the books they hear, they might be dealing with a deeper issue. Decoding issues, learning disabilities, developmental issues such as ADHD, and even vision impairment can all interfere with a child’s ability to read at grade level or enjoy reading.

“If you have concerns, bring it up to your child’s teacher right away, because they are going to be a fantastic resource for you. Know that especially in these first four years of school, teachers are constantly assessing children for reading difficulties,” says Hitch. The information they learn from you about your child’s experiences with reading at home can be very helpful in identifying learning or

developmental challenges. Many parents grew up with a stigma about “special ed” that makes them nervous about seeking extra academic support.

“Early intervention can be really empowering for kids,” says Sherwood, who has seen students catch up to their peers in as little as one semester. “These days, kids get extra support for lots of things, and it’s viewed very positively. I’ve had a lot of kids feel jealous and left out that they weren’t the chosen ones [for reading support] because it felt like special attention from an extra adult.”

Together, you, your child’s teacher and, if necessary, a reading specialist can help your child discover the lifelong joy and pleasure of reading. ■

Gemma Alexander is a Seattle-based freelance writer.

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Lures to Hook Kids on Books

10 clever ways to get your child to read

By Janeen Lewis

One of the most important things parents can do is raise a reader. Success in reading leads to successes in academics and gives kids a solid start in life. In fact, research shows that kids who read at least 15 minutes a day make accelerated gains in reading.

But no matter how diligently parents support reading, sometimes kids resist. Books have to compete with those oh-so-scintillating devices, video games and streaming apps.

Why not shake things up and inspire your kids to fall in love with reading? The following 10 ideas are sure to win over the most reluctant reader.

1/ Free stuff.

If your kids don’t believe you, ask Alexa, Siri or Google “What free stuff can kids earn by reading?” and oodles of items will pop up. By merely recording the titles they are reading, my own children have earned pizzas, frozen yogurt, books from Barnes & Noble and amusement park tickets.

2/ Let the books out.

Research shows that kids from print-rich homes are better readers, but it helps if the books, magazines and newspapers are out where kids can see them. Put bins and baskets of books in the bathroom, in the car, and spread out books with inviting covers all over the hard surfaces in your home.

3/ Reward with extra bedtime reading. Have you noticed that your child who avoids reading like the plague during the day suddenly develops a fondness for it at bedtime? Embrace this and let your child earn extra reading time when they turn in at night.

4/ Make your book nook the envy of the neighborhood.

Think: tent with twinkle lights. Plump pillows. Comfy chairs. Make your child’s reading space as comfortable and inviting as you can. But you

continued from page 39 don’t have to get fancy; sometimes what adults think is a simple arrangement is a kid’s reading castle.

5/ Make it a double feature.

Every year, new films come out that are inspired by books. If your child wants to see a movie that was based on a book, have them read the book first and then rent the movie and watch it together. Compare the two, and have your child explain which he or she liked better, the movie or the book.

6/ Get graphic.

I’m talking graphic novels. They may not be the conventional kind of books parents grew up with, but they may draw your child into reading. Let them read comic books, too. Oh, and throw in some audiobooks and let them read on an e-reader or other device sometimes. Imagine all the possibilities that might engage your child in reading.

7/ Let them order a magazine subscription. Magazine subscriptions that come specifically for the kids of the house make them feel grown up and tempt them to read. Some good kids’ magazines to try: Ask, Ranger Rick, National Geographic Kids, Sports Illustrated Kids, Cobblestone, Ladybug and Highlights.

8/ Tickle a funny bone.

From Jeff Kinney’s “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” to Peggy Parish’s “Amelia Bedelia” or Sara Pennypacker’s “Clementine,” a funny story is a good way to get kids to read.

9/ Let there be light.

Come on, don’t be so stuffy! Let them read with a flashlight under the covers. Headlamps are a unique option, and there are even book lights that keep track of minutes spent reading.

10/ Be a rock star reader yourself.

Carve out time daily for your child to see you poring over the newspaper, curling up with your favorite book or discussing a tidbit from a magazine. Model a reading life and your child will be more likely to embrace the same literature-loving values. ■

Janeen Lewis is a nationally published writer, teacher, and mom of Andrew and Gracie. When she’s not trying to tame the whirlwind that is her life, you’ll find her curled up with a good book.

At YWA, we provide every student with the tools and encouragement needed to pursue their own personal journey.

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Support Your School

The Best Ways Busy Parents Can Support Local Schools

By Jenna Vandenberg

Decades of research consistently shows that students whose families are involved in their schooling have better academic, social and emotional outcomes.

That can be a tough statement to read if you, like most parents, work full time.

But studies like the 2019 American Psychological Association (APA) meta-analysis titled “The Relation

Between Parents’ Involvement in Children’s Schooling and Children’s Adjustment” are always being published, reminding the world that when families volunteer, show up to school events and communicate regularly with teachers, their children do better in school. The study asserts that when parents are involved in school, it sends a message to their kids that they are valued and school is valued. Families that build social networks at school

are more likely to gain information and resources for their kids, including everything from where to find extra help to the best unknown scholarship opportunities. Also, the analysis found that teachers give more personalized attention to children whose families are perceived as being more involved.

All of this may be true, but hearing about these positive benefits can be frustrating if you are working during school hours. Yes, you have more time with your family after school and on weekends, but volunteering in classrooms, chaperoning field trips and being an active PTA member may be out of the question. Even attending after-school events requires rearranging a carefully

EDUCATION SUPPORT YOUR SCHOOL

Kindergarten - 5th Grade

continued from page 43

crafted schedule. One traffic jam or work snafu can throw off all hope of getting to the school’s annual back-to-school bonanza on time.

Don’t worry.

Not every parent needs to clock dozens of volunteer hours (or one volunteer hour) or attend dozens of after-school events. If all you have time and energy for is to respond to messages about your child, meet teachers at curriculum night and regularly talk to your kids about school, that is wonderful. You are doing great.

Responding to teacher emails counts as parental involvement. Checking a school folder is parental involvement. Talking to your teenager about their science labs is parental involvement. The best way to support schools is to support your own child.

However, providing homework assistance is negatively associated with children’s achievement. “Although parents’ setting of rules around homework and assistance with homework were positively associated with children’s academic adjustment, other forms of their involvement, such as monitoring, in the context of children’s homework were negatively associated.”

Meeting teachers, responding to emails and talking to your child about what they are learning are the basics. If you want to go above and beyond to get more involved with schools, great! There are plenty of quick and easy ways to support schools even if you are short on time.

Follow school social media accounts.

If you are on social media, follow school accounts and share their community events and announcements. If you have a local following, you’ll increase awareness about the great things the school is doing in the community, and perhaps you’ll get to know other parents and families online. Plus, it will keep you in the loop about what is happening.

Choose your board meetings carefully. Often, school board meetings can be long and boring. Don’t feel like you must attend them all. However, if teacher pay, school closures, banning books or other controversial issues are set to be discussed, a packed board meeting is essential.

A Note About Homework

While the 2019 APA study found that parent participation at school clearly benefited students, parental involvement outside of school was a bit more nuanced. When parents engage their children in discussions about school and their classes, or provide “cognitively stimulating activities or environments — for example, reading with children or taking them to the library,” students do better socially and academically.

Ask school staff members which board meetings are the most important and prioritize your attendance. Also, it’s perfectly fine to leave early.

Donate supplies.

Teachers are always in need of supplies, but they are usually the best stocked in September. If you email a teacher in December or March or May asking what supplies are running low, you’ll be a savior coming through with those boxes of tissues or colored construction paper. Consider setting up a recurring email that goes out every three or four months in which you ask your kid’s teachers what supplies are needed.

Take the surveys.

Schools really do want to improve, and soliciting survey feedback is one way that can happen. Resist the urge to swipe away that email and take the survey.

Offer your expertise.

Let teachers know about specific skills or backgrounds that you are willing to share. World history teachers would love to have a family from Ethiopia do an accuracy check on a slide show about Ethiopian resistance to colonialism. Pictures of Polynesian stick charts from Hawaiian families would be revered by art teachers. Math teachers would welcome a short list of examples about how fractions are used by bakers or pharmacists or retail workers. Talk to your kids about what they are learning in school. If it’s something you have some expertise in, send the teacher a message to thank them for covering the topic and, if you’d be willing, mention that you’d like to help or send in a real-life example.

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continued from page 45

Show up for middle and high school.

The bar is extremely low regarding parent participation at the middle and high school levels. Many parents never meet or communicate with teachers, so just showing up to one curriculum night or sending a quick thank-you email to a teacher will elevate you to “involved parent” status. However, school involvement is just as important in high school as it is during the elementary years. Consider sending an email to each teacher simply introducing yourself and asking about the best way to stay up to date on your kid’s grades.

Share good news.

The absolute best thing you can do to support teachers and schools is to raise awareness about all the great things happening at school. If your child is going to a great school or has a wonderful teacher, share those stories. Tell your neighbors, your extended family, your member of Congress and your social media followers all about it. This is especially important for public school families.

Thankfully, public schools in Washington state are better funded and supported compared to those in other states, but public schools across the U.S. are being devalued and defunded. Rhetoric critical of public schools and teachers has increased. But because public schools are the only spaces in America where every child is guaranteed a free and equitable education, it’s essential they are supported.

Telling the world about how a teacher inspired your nephew to pursue oceanography, or how a school provided a Girls on the Run program with teacher volunteers, or how a leadership club hosted a free community night goes a long way toward highlighting the importance of public schools in our communities.

Most importantly, give yourself some grace. If sometime in December you discover you have only attended one school event, have no idea when Teacher Appreciation Week is and are fuzzy on the specifics of the school mascot, it’s okay. Ask your child what they are learning in school, send a teacher a quick thank-you note or supply check and take a deep breath. When it comes to school involvement, you are all caught up. ■

Jenna Vandenberg is a Seattle-based teacher, writer, runner and mom of two girls.