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Dear Readers, Spring is a time for renewal. Thinking about birth and those who gave us life. In this special edition, we focus on not only Mother’s and Father’s Days, but on the changing of the seasons, and the emotional journey some of us have to take in parenting. We’ve also included a handy buyer’s guide of some of our favorite gift ideas for the mom’s and dad’s in your life. We hope you enjoy this edition. It would not have been possible without the hard work and dedication of so many willing to put forth their gifts and talents. Thanks to everyone who contributed to such a beautiful magazine. Enjoy! Best, Jeni Tetamore Editor-in-Chief
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Contact us at parentsink@hotmail.com to inquire about how you can advertise your business for three full months for the price of one!
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T
his year we’ll celebrate the American Mother’s Day on May 8th. Mom’s around the country will wake up to burned pancakes and trashed kitchen’s and wouldn’t change that for the world as we know it means our little one’s dipped their toes in the pool of independence and gifting love. This part of the tradition is just as important, as it allows children to attempt to give a gift of their time, talent, and effort. As we mom’s know it doesn’t always go well, but if we want to nurture that spirit of unselfishness in them, this is an important sacrifice to make. It is worth more than diamonds in the long run… Page 10 ~ Fall 2014
Encouraging Independence When you allow your child or children the freedom to cook you breakfast, make you cards, and create handmade gifts for you, even while you lay in bed listening to the ensuing mayhem you are not only fostering their creativity , you are encouraging their independence. You are providing an environment where it is safe for your children to explore their expanding boundaries and try new things. You are letting them know it is okay to spill milk and do something without you. Good job, Mom! Seriously. This is a major victory and you should be proud of yourself. Even if Dad or Partner is there to make sure they don’t burn down the house, your kids took initiative. They had the courage to read a recipe, follow directions, and put together a meal for their traditional meal-preparer. There is always a fear in a child’s heart at the rejection their efforts won’t be enough, and yet they put forth the effort and presented it to you. Think about it.
Gifting Love Children are inherently self-centered. This is normal. They want to know when their birthday is, when Christmas is, when Grandma and Grandpa are coming because it usually means they are going to get presents and will be the center of attention. Even children who are more aware of the world around them and are more altruistic, this is more of a learned behavior rather than intrinsic.
“It is not what you do for your
children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.” ~ Ann Landers ~
Of course, there are many ways to teach your children to think of other’s and it is a process. However, children have limited resources. Whatever philanthropy children may have is often dependent on what their parents are willing to do as well. When you allow your children an opportunity to serve you, this is the one thing they can do that is purely their effort, their ethos.
Making It Work Without Stressing Yourself Out Let’s be honest, waking up to a trashed house on Mother’s Day isn’t ideal, but you can make this work to your advantage, as well. If your children aren’t in the habit of helping with kitchen duty or vacuuming, now is the time to show them how to do it. Make it fun. Make sure you let them know how you much you enjoyed everything they did for you and how much you would enjoy working beside them. Hopefully, Dad or Partner kept it down to a dull roar or less, but what is important is that you keep encouraging that independence and desire to search out ways to gift love and service. Everyone will reap the benefits. Page 11 ~ Fall 2014
I
have been daydreaming for hours, days, months - come to think about it, years - on where to start and what exactly to write. Everyone I talk to and every self-help book that I have read all say the same things: just put something on paper and let it go from there. Well, it’s not so easy when there are so many ideas running through your head that take you in 30 different directions. Do I write a blog? A book? Articles for magazines? Freelance? And then the ultimate question: what do I write about? Do I write about my life experiences growing up? The military? Working as a truck driver and in the oilfields? My autistic child and family dynamic? Gardening, dieting, and health? Beer and mead making? Photography? Finance? The list just seems to get longer and longer the more I think about it and I find myself adding to it even as I type. I suppose I should just follow the advice and just put it on paper and let it lead me‌ Page 12 ~ Fall 2014
I have worked as a truck driver in the oilfields of North Dakota for the past three years. This past January I suffered a second back injury that forced me to quit my job and return to full-time motherhood. This particular injury is something that has plagued me from my many years of military service back in the 1990s and early 2000s. When it flares up, it can floor me for weeks, even months, at a time. When it happened this second time in less than a year, my husband and I felt it was time for me to get out of the trucking and oilfield business for good. It was also time to figure out what to do next. So here I sit again, wondering what to do with my life and what opportunities are out there for me as a stay-at-home mom. I did the stay-at-home mom thing from 2005 to mid-2013 with my high-functioning, autistic son, so I knew what to expect. More or less. I worked as a medical transcriptionist for various companies and doctors across the United States, but this time around I want to try something different. Something that wouldn’t require me to be tied to a computer for hours and hours at a time. And then there is the fact my husband and I bought a house in October. My first order of business, as soon as my mother-in-law (who has been our nanny) went back to Nevada, was to figure out where everything was in our house. We had relied on her heavily with the placement of everything in the kitchen, storage room, garage, and every nook and cranny that was still filled with unpacked boxes. I do have to say that the day she left and while my son was in school, I simply sat for a couple of hours in a semi-dazed state of “what the heck am I going to do now?�. I think I was like this a lot in those first days while my son was in school. After a person gets used to working 5 days a week, 14 to 16 hour days, I really had no clue what to do with myself. My next order of business was getting my son back on a routine for afterschool and weekends. The day after my mother-in-law left, we had an appointment for my son at his behaviorist, who recommended making changes to his medications. This seemed like very bad idea when the whole household just suddenly changed and his world was crashing down around him. Without Grandma there and the reality that she had gone home and was not coming back for awhile slowly settling in for him, making another drastic change right then simply seemed like a poor decision all around. Page 13 ~ Fall 2014
From my first day back home, I placed him back on a routine of putting his stuff away, bringing me all his school work and teacher’s notebook, eating a snack, and then immediately trying to get him to read for 20 minutes. He fought me on this from day one because he was so accustomed to running the house while my husband and I were at work. He would absolutely refuse to read for his grandma, and his reading level was suffering for it.
I kept at it, though, and after about a week and a half, getting his medications somewhat figured out, this is now the established routine of the house. The incentive that has really helped with keeping him on his routine is that for each 20 minutes of reading, he gets to have 30 minutes of computer time or 30 minutes on one of his favorite video games. Because of his autism, he is really fixated on only reading 20 minutes a day, which is a school standard, and he will not read any more than that or he has a mental meltdown. We are now going on about 2 and a half months and things are starting to really run smoothly. Instead of daily meltdowns, we are now only having them maybe once a week, and these are usually only if he is really tired when he gets home from school or if his school routine was changed during the day and the teacher or aides did not walk him through it beforehand. I stopped having him read the picture books that the school was recommending for a 2nd grade level child, especially given that he is in the 4th grade, and upped the stakes. I pulled out the first Harry Potter book and had him start reading. The improvement he has shown in his speech and reading is amazing! This has been very challenging for him, but it has kept his interest to where he does not get bored with reading. I believe the picture books were too distracting for him, and in some cases too confusing for him to understand having the pictures with the words. He will now even stop me during his reading time and ask me questions about a word he may not understand, or a character that he correlates with other movies. It has really been one of those light bulb moments for us. It is a joy to see the look in his eyes when he makes those connections. Page 14 ~ Fall 2014
My last order of business - for now - was adding daily things for my son to do. He is now in charge of feeding our 3 cats, doing his own laundry (with my assistance), putting the soap in the washing machine, setting the table, unloading the dishwasher, making his own peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and taking out the trash. Granted, like any 10-year old child, I still have to remind him to do these things, but it is slowly coming along and these are the things he must begin to learn in order to grow and to one day become self-sufficient. It also gives him a sense of purpose and helps him understand what his contribution is to the family instead of being waited on hand and foot. My husband and I are now in talks about starting an allowance systems for him, teaching him to correlate work with money and money with things that he wants to buy, such as the particular video game he loves to play. That one is still up for negotiation. We are still deciding what is fair for a 10-year old. As for me? I guess I’ll have to figure out what I’m going to do along the way. I just need to find things to keep me busy outside of housework while my son is at school. It is becoming that time of year to start putting seeds in the ground for a garden, if it ever stops snowing off and on in North Dakota. Looks like I’ll be doing container gardening this year until we figure out where we want to tear up the yard for next year. I just have to stay positive and remember each day is a new slate to start over and keep moving forward.
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Produced by jewelry designer Catherine Weitzman and inspired by her travel by land and sea, these fabulous necklaces are filled with an array of dried greenery, semiprecious beads, and more within their tubes capped either with sterling silver or 18K vermeil encapsulating our four seasons. Available at uncommongoods.com.
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Gorgeously handmade and personalized. The words on the tree may be customized - a song, poem, wedding vow, a love letter‌ the possibilities are endless. The charming birds on the branches represent each family member while the heart might be the family or couple name. Comes already framed from etsy.com by Basketful Of Grace.
Know a mom who would find this hysterical? Or perhaps simply has a twisted sense of humor? Then she may just enjoy this whimsical handmade go-cup by Perfectly Imperfect Vinyl Designs. The decal is made with outdoor grade, professional vinyl, designed to withstand five years of use (with handwashing, of course!). They also have a wide variety of other mugs to choose from or you may design your own! Find them on etsy.com!
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Okay, we love this little beastie. Not usually a fan of giving appliances for Mother’s Day, but as we hate to iron, this little gem won us over. Hang your clothes, fill the steamer with water, and steam the wrinkles right out. No ironing board. No muss, no fuss. Available at drug stores and most major retailers.
For the mom on-the-go who always seems to have time to pack a healthy lunch for her family, but never one for herself this fantastic little helper not only keeps her food warm, it lets her heat it up wherever she is. It is a fabulous way to carry leftovers as a quicky lunch, or even cook her amazing soups and stews. It comes in four colors - pink, blue, grey, and red so you can choose Mom’s favorite color, too!
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For the nerdy and classical mom in your life, she cannot do without William Shakespeare’s Star War’s (and yes, you can get the whole series!). This awesome hybrid retelling endorsed by Lucasfilm takes our beloved Star Wars saga and sets it to Shakespearean verse. If your mom never understood your love of Star Wars, but loves Shakespeare, maybe this will be a whole new way for the two of you to bond! Find it on amazon.com.
An exclusive product of ThinkGeek.com, this great wallet has 4 bill-sized pockets, a see-through ID slot with thumb assist, and 14 additional card slots plus wrist handle. A fun and stylish gift for the mom who taught you all about wibbly-wobbly timeywimey things. Page 19 ~ Fall 2014
No more loose blankets The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends the use of baby wearable blankets.
Clever shoulder straps Shoulder straps make it easy to place baby in the sleep nest, even when asleep. No more struggling to get baby’s hands through an armhole! This patent pending design is exclusive to baby deedee wearable sleep sacks.
Comforting cocoon shape Unique cocoon shape provides a cozy environment. Babies sleep better when they stay covered throughout the night. Parents sleep better knowing baby is comfy & secure.
Quilted duvet material The baby deedee sleep nest is quilted for an extra layer of warmth.
Cotton exterior & lining for pure comfort The sleep nest shell is made from 100% cotton for maximum breathability.
Product warmth: Our sleep sacks for infants and toddlers are lightly quilted. They are intended to be worn over regular sleepwear. Recommended room temperature is 67-74°F. Sleeve length and thickness of baby’s sleepwear should be adjusted accordingly. Shell: 100% cotton Filling: 100% polyester Care: Machine wash cold, tumble dry low Made in India Page 20 ~ Fall 2014
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O
r the power tools! Let’s be honest with ourselves, shopping for Dad is hard. He probably doesn't want a pair of diamond earrings. Maybe he does, I don’t know, but so often we simply purchase something without really thinking about what Dad wants or needs. We don’t think about Dad’s presence in our lives and what his absence might mean. This year Father’s Day comes on June 19th, so there is plenty of time to really ponder what would make his day meaningful. So much time is spent on Mother’s Day, it is easy for Dad’s to get forgotten with a card and tie... Page 22 ~ Fall 2014
Understanding Dad If there is one constant, dad’s don’t talk about spa days, or me days, or many of things that are considered the norm when women talk about things they need. This does not mean they don’t need them, too! No, I cannot picture my father or husband sitting in a fluffy bathrobe with their hair in a towel getting a pedicure. I may need brain bleach after that one… However, men still need time to hang out with other men and do guy things. Maybe it’s a night to go to a sports bar to watch the game, or a camping/hunting weekend, or going to the car show. The key here is malebonding is a real thing, just as girls-nights-out are a real thing, and the dad in your life may be so busy taking care of you and your kids that he is not taking care of that part of his life.
The Shy Guy The dad in your life may be loud and boisterous, nerdy and quiet, or let’s-just-get-things-done. The one thing that they all likely have in common is a reluctance to communicate what they want or need on a personal, emotional level. Even emotionally self-aware men often do not want to be perceived by their wife/partner and children as “needy.”
~ SIGMUND FREUD ~ “I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.”
It may be time to start with the simple - breakfast in bed, calling your girlfriends with whom you hang out with as couples and conspiring to get your guys out together for a game of pool or a baseball game, or putting together a love coupon book that he can redeem for nights out, etc. It doesn’t have to be big.
Making It Work Without Messing It Up Talk to him now about what he feels like doing this summer. Be nosey. There are beer tasting festivals, food festivals, ballgames, hiking, biking, hunting, camping, movies, concerts, adult-style Legos - really the list goes on. You know your man, but maybe it’s time to get to know him a little better. What is it that feeds his soul the way handmade cards from our little ones and bling feeds ours? I can almost guarantee you that it is not a tie. Page 23 ~ Fall 2014
$40.00 Beat those weenies and marshmallows into submission at your next bonfire with these awesome roaster swords. Made from surplus steel in a midcentury style metal factory by artist Zachary Neff, they are bent at the tip to avoid any unintentional “skewering� of friends and family. Sold individually at uncommongoods.com.
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$19.95 Handmade from reclaimed pallet wood from Oregon you may choose from 1.5 oz. taster shot glasses, 2.5 oz. mini Pilsner glasses, or 5 oz. tasting glasses. This family-owned and operated company does ship worldwide. Created by Reclaimed Oregon and available on etsy.com.
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$58.00 For your favorite hobbyist who is stuck at a desk all day or construction professional, this quirky, handmade spring-loaded desk accessory is sure to be a “hit!” Each piece is handmade from recycled steel and salvaged tool parts by artist Fred Conlon,. And yes, the hammer works. Holds your pens and business cards, too. Available at uncommongoods.com.
$11.63 Because anything that combines Star Wars, Legos, and coffee is awesome in our book, this mug was a must share. Microwave and dishwasher safe (another must where dad’s are concerned), and this mug may well be perfect. Available from The Mug Hermit on etsy.com. Just remember to allow additional shipping time because it is coming from the United Kingdom.
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$149.99 There is just so much yes right here! A universal remote exclusively put out by ThinkGeek.com that looks just like a phaser. It is officiallylicensed Star Trek: The Original Series merchandise and virtually compatible with all home entertainment systems. The only warning - please avoid wearing a red shirt while operating!
$34.99 We’re not saying that your dad is Batman, just that they’ve never been seen in the same room together… Get your hero this fun silver plated and enamel money clip with the classic Batman logo. It contains 27 grams of silver and has a double-grip money security backing and is officially licensed by DC Comics. Available at bedbathandbeyond.com.
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by Jean Peters
Plucked by tiny fingers Gathered in dimpled fists Given with cheeky grins Giggles on cupid lips Happy little flowers Stain sniffing noses Rouge round cheeks Tickle chubby toeses Frothy yellow lollipops Placed in paper cups Set upon the counter As a pick-me-up Sweet smelling sunshines Mama likes to say She’d never get flowers If not for the dandelion bouquet Page 34 ~ Fall 2014
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How Sleep’n Sync is Revolutionary Mission To help children excel when facing challenges and improve their functional skills and their wellbeing
Sleep’n Sync’s objective is to help the child achieve their goals fast. It does this through an audio designed to help the child with the specific issue being addressed, which is played at night, as the child sleeps, every day for six weeks. Sleep’n Sync uses the power of the mind and empowers the natural motivation in children to do well. It does this by integrating to the audio positive suggestions and messages that reach the subconscious mind of the child at a highly receptive state: sleep.
Non-Invasive
Non-confrontational: with Sleep’n Sync there is no need for negotiating or convincing the child to do the program every day, no need to use their valuable fun time for it.
Easy to use: the program’s implementation does not affect your child’s schedule, it is at night during sleep time, no need to set time from the child’s busy day for this. Program the alarm with Sleep’n Sync’s audio at a time the child is asleep, and set it to repeat every night.
Based on extensive scientific research and best practices: each Program is designed based on extensive scientific research and best practices, so that the messages and recommendations contained in the program are effective and to the point of the specific goal of the program.
Sleep’n Sync uses: Principles of hypnotherapy by designing the necessary messages the child needs in the form of positive suggestions tailored to be easily absorbed by the subconscious mind of the child.
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Sleep, as it provides a highly receptive state of the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is always awake and receptive, however this receptivity is increased when the conscious mind does not interfere/ is resting/cooled down, as it occurs during sleep. In addition, sleep is a time when the outside input is minimized, and the information received during the awake time is sorted, organized, evaluated, linked with other memories, and stored or discarded according to its relevance. Sleep’n Sync takes advantage of sleep as a natural receptive state for its messages to effectively be absorbed by the subconscious mind, and the natural function of sleep in building and solidifying brain connections, and its natural role as self-therapy since it processes and links negative feelings and experiences with positive feelings and previous experiences, diminishing their overall negative effect (Rock )
Neuroplasticity: which is the changing of the strength of neural connections, the adding or removing of connections or the adding of new cells. Thinking, learning and acting actually changes the structure and functional organization of the brain. (Christiansen & Baum, 2005).
Principles of neuroplasticity: The brains ability to act and react is ever-changing. It is constantly laying down new pathways for neural communication and to re-arrange existing ones. The changing of neurons, the organization of their networks, and their function changes via new experiences
Repetition: It is well known that repetition wires the brain. It is repetition that allows a person’s brain to establish the necessary connections or synapses between the brain cells. Learning occurs right where neurons meet. Without these connections, the brain cells are useless. It is known that what wires a person’s brain is repeated experience, and without it, key synapses do not form. And if such connections, once formed are used too seldom to be strengthened and reinforced, the brain eventually eliminates them. Therefore, repetition of the desired messages in the suggestions in Sleep’n Sync audios is a key element for the effectiveness of the message incorporation into the subconscious mind of the child.
Binaural Beats in the background music: Optional. Binaural beats work by sending two different tones to each ear. The frequency difference between the tones is created by the brain as a “binaural beat”. With this technology, one can take the mind into a relaxed and receptive state, allowing easier connections between the brain cells. This is optional since sleep is already a receptive state for the messages to be absorbed, however its use can help.
Connecting the subconscious mind with the conscious mind: This is what Sleep’n Sync’s audios facilitate, so that when the child is awake, he/she has the self confidence, skills and tools to use in order to get his/her desired goals.
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