Blink issue 51 january17 2015

HORNBILL TRIBE A photographer trains his lens on the lives and rituals of the Nishi tribe in Arunachal Pradesh p12 saturday, january 17, 2015

Man in a muddle What is the deďŹ nition of a man today? For some, it is stature and identity. For others, a awless complexion.

In this special issue we examine the crisis of masculinity and the many meanings of manhood p2-19

An audition for the Mr and Miss NCR kamal narang

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WINDOW OR AISLE

Instant karma Between worlds All ears Members of khap panchayat in Jhajjar district decide on matters of alliances and land deals anu pushkarna

The queue for pre-paid taxis at the Goa airport was moving along at a slow, mechanical pace, when the Ruffian barged in

A high-caste man in Haryana holds landed the most power in his community, yet a younger at the Dabolim airport on Christ- ticed? Admittedly, I had paid no attention to mas day, and even before I had disem- the queue or the people in it so far. Or had this generation is slowly trying to fight back rishi piparaiya

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inky (name changed) sits at the edge of her chair cooing to baby Pihu. A shawl slung over her slight frame seems insufficient protection against the brutal cold of a January morning in Rohtak. Ten-month-old Pihu is rather taken up with the flower on Rinky’s cap and lunges for it repeatedly. To a stranger, Rinky is just another 22-year-old girl in Haryana, easy to smile and vulnerable to the cold. But Savita (the Haryana state president of All India Democratic Women’s Association and baby Pihu’s mother), in whose home we meet Rinky, tells us an altogether different story.

Sexually abused by her father for years, Rinky left her home in Karnal district this November. “I was in Class 5 when it first happened. I had no idea what it meant at the time,” she says. The abuse stopped for a few years but began again in Class 12. “It happened regularly.

They even stopped my studies for some time,” she says. Yet, Rinky went on to get a degree in history and geography. When she told her family she wanted to pursue a course in fashion, her father suggested a compromise — “Let me have my way with you and you will be allowed to study.”

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ince census-keeping began in 1901, Haryana has remained a state with one of the worst sex ratios in the country (879 women to 1,000 men). In districts such as Jhajjar and Mahendragarh, the ratio falls further to under 600. Son preference still reigns, female foeticide runs rampant, and property rights elude women. The stranglehold of patriarchy over the Haryanvi society means that women are systematically excluded from the public realm and sidelined in private decision-mak-

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barked from the plane, I was ruing my Ruffian just planted himself into the queue decision to come to Goa on the yearend out of turn — playing a neat little trick beholiday weekend.

People pouring ing. Within the home theywere are treated as out sec- tween the couple Captainji, and me, with and need for an Japanese image makeover. from flightcitizens. after flight and the traffic is squeezing ond-class Filmmaker Nakul that Singh between us before I could his deeply himself lined face and rugged complexion, usually encountered on the Mandovi bridge at Sawhney, whose documentary Izzatnagari ki remonstrate again.

I was things; unsure he andisdecided tries to say all the right not opPanjim away, hadwhich seemingly up to Asabhya30km Betiyan (2012), dealtbacked with hongive him the benefit of doubt.

I went to posed to love marriages (his son is back having all way to the conveyer belt at thestarts airport. ourthekillings, says discrimination at my phone but couldn’t concentrate.

Five min-a one), a daughter is more important than After excruciatingly long he waitencountered for my lug- utes birth.anWhile researching, The queue continued to son, passed, all castesthen and10. genders are welcome in the gage, finally made it, a heavy VIP suitcase in move manyI Haryanvi Jat families whose daughters along But the I thought khap. But digslowly. a bit deeper andmore the hollowness tow, the prepaid taxi counter at Arrivals. woretotheir hair short.

“I thought it was pro- about it, the more convinced I was that marthis of these claims shines through.

A love Actually, are twotold prepaid taxi coungressive, butthere the families me that it was to dude just bypassed andin the extra hour riage had is permissible if itme is not the same vilters at the Goalook airport, adjacent to he each other, make them unattractive,” says.

In he would have spent, hadcaste. he brought up the lage and not with a lower The burden of and both had about 50not people queued upride to rear many villages, girls are taught how to of (honour) the snaking ‘izzat’ of queue. the family rests with the book cab. I chose one of the Education of- daughters, not The cycles,arestricting their mobility. counters out the sons.

It is kept hardrunning for the landqueues at at random quickly are located a less to be khap ten stops school,and as colleges of taxis.

It had now been close to members, “they can’t serve got my towns. phone, bus engrossed ride away inwith nearby an hour-long wait, andhave I was chai at the meetings,” and they don’t the catching up on 45 minutes of But stories of women fighting seething.

Justto astake I was preparing wherewithal decisions.

“Will get you some flight and back aremode gainingmessages traction. A man to In once again launch an indigCaptainji’s household, the other time,” I emails that were pinging in. wife The in Bibipur said that if the nant assault onpar his with shoulder, the beti may be on the sons, muttered under my queue was moving along atshe a gets beaten three nights, Ruffian reached counter and but the bahu stillthe observes purdah breath, as I watched slow, mechanical pace — while will beat the husband on theI The his taxi.

“Willelders get you and doesn’t address diofthe the ordered him resurgence rush off with never so absorbfourth.really The checked, resurgence of the taxi some other time,” I muttered unrectly.

His 28-year-old son Dev, a khapthat in Haryana over should have ed wasinI on the phone, I had a khap Haryana over the last der my breath, I watched him bearded man inasskinny trousers, the last few decades been mine sense that I was standing behind few decades is instigated by this rush offother with the taxiisthat should on the hand, a member is instigated by the anewfound touristy Japanese couple. bellicose instinct in have been mine. of the leftist-theatre group Indinewfound bellicose the counter, itsHalfway women.toWhile womenI was are few minutes later, I got my anA Peoples’ Theatre Association instinct in its women interrupted voicespanchayats, of the said challengingbykhap turn the counter, and receipt and at frequently disputes his facouple bearded in hand, I made the old admonishing order is tryinganto unkempt, wrest my claims. weary way towards the vether’s young Indian man — faded jeans, backpack hicle that was According back control.

In a state where to ferry me my welcome to to a study in Harand all. “We wereisahead you in the queue. drink and hopefully, honour killing not aofcrime to Panchayati a more civilised gian Singh’s Raj AdPlease go back”, said Japanese to world… and wife-beating is the norm, tourist-san divorce rates whenin I Haryana, passed the77.5 Ruffian ministration per and cent his of the “Sure,” said the Ruffian, allowing haveRuffian. gone up and cases of domestic violence taxi, backpack leaning his leg, I saw panchayat members areagainst aged under 50. While them to goreported ahead. So I looked up from are being bywhen women.

Masculinity in the furiously to to willthe the car to thisdriver suggests a shift trying of power younger my myself standing behind him start. the screen, State is Iinsaw crisis today. automobile expert,custodians but that men, itI’m hasno resulted in traditional instead of the Japanese “Have youKhap, just cranking Captain Mahavir, thecouple. head of Satrol was clearly not going anystressing engine on practices that smack of aggresjumped the largest queue?” tapped him on the where one of the in IHaryana, precariously soon. I gave Ruffian one lastcaptures look as sive manliness.

Inthe some ways, Dev shoulder “Not “When at all,” he said, “I was my straddlesand thisasked. transition.

I got married, revved and sped away...

What isAit‘good they thetaxi crisis of masculinity in Haryana. just unsureasked, if I was ahead of them behind my father ‘Can the girl milk aorcow, feed say about being a bitch? of Satrol khap. son’, he is karma the media consultant them”.

Andcollect he stood his ground likethe a truck. cattle and gobar?’

Now, I ask girls if “The media unfairly paints Haryana as antipiparaiya authorthat of Aisle Be Damned I was confused.

Had I been they’ve been to university or ifstanding they canbehind work.” rishi women.

It’s the isUPthe khaps banned mobiles the all along simplytohadn’t The Ruffian khap leaders have and also come realise nothe rishi@aislebedamned.com and jeans. Our sex ratio has improved over the

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decades, but what about south Delhi?” he asks. But his passion is theatre and he admits that while he has performed across Jharkhand and Chhattisgarh, he finds little support in Haryana. He keeps a beard, shakes hands with women, acts in village squares; he differs from the khap ilk. Yet, he belongs to them.

Sparing no punches Last month, two sisters from Rohtak hit the headlines when a video of them thrashing harassers went viral. Subsequently, it was alleged that the sisters were serial assaulters and the state government held back the bravery award. “But this sort of thing happens every day. I used to do the same on a daily basis,” says Jagmati Sangwan, vice-president of AIDWA. In Haryana, the bus is a conflict zone for women.

Chhedkhani (teasing) is rife, “Woh meri hai, ye teri hai” is how men assign girls. One of the few shared spaces for both genders, the bus gives women mobility but exposes them to even more harassment. If they complain about eve-teasing, they lose their freedom to travel, which often means also losing the opportunity to study.

Nearly one-third of Haryana now falls under the National Capital Region. Property prices have shot up and landowners have turned millionaires. On paper at least, as per the Hindu Succession Act, women are entitled to property. Yet, few are in possession of their lands.

“The criteria of gaon (village) and gotra (caste) are attempts by khaps to keep their daughters from inheriting land,” says Sawhney. The ban on inter-caste marriages is also strictly followed to keep resources within the family. But due to the proximity of the region to the Capital, signs of upward mobility are all too visible. An important factor of change is the increase in land prices, which has resulted in more and more women claiming their property share. “There is change now, but the pace is too slow for the cost we bear,” says Sangwan.

“In Haryana, the strength of male culture is visible in the exclusive all-male spaces in the villages,” writes Haryana scholar Prem Chowdhry. In her analysis of the rural culture in the state, she remarks that Haryana’s villages are constructed to preserve male dominance. The control extends from the home to

In the ring The Rohtak sisters came into the limelight for throwing punches at male bullies in a bus afp; members of AIDWA say that cases of incest and abuse are all too common in the homes of Haryana meeta ahlawat

akhilesh kumar

No entry Haryana’s villages are constructed to preserve male dominance, as seen in Bibipur ramesh sharma

public space. The baithaks at home, where my calls. Many times, they didn’t tell me my men gather to play cards, hold meetings, spill friends had called. Finally, they it took away alout onto the street. At chaupals, the all-male, together,” says Rinky. The family even went as hookah panchayats gather to discuss politics far as to remove SIM cards when the phones and women. The streets too remain under were charging to keep the outside world out male use, especially after sundown. of her reach. One day, while washing clothes, Nearly a year after Bibipur village in Jind dis- she found a SIM in her brother’s trouser pocktrict attached ‘The Women’s World’ to its et. She smuggled it out and called a helpline name, a street, chaupal and lake have come up number that had, ironically, flashed during bearing the prefix ‘lado’ (daughter). Yet, these the khap episode of Satyamev Jayate. decidedly ‘feminine’ spaces lie unutilised. In Savita, seated below a Che Guevara poster, April 2014, Sudesh Choudhary, 44, was made who has been an AIDWA member for almost a the first president of the women’s wing of the decade, says cases of incest are all too comSatrol Khap. “We’ve got 200-300 members and mon in Haryana. But most go unreported and, we are working for more participation.” Yet, unlike Rinky, most girls don’t seek help. Every none of the mahila members have attended Wednesday, Savita holds an open office, where the panchayats, and Bibipur’s women from across the state sarpanch Sunil Jaglan makes it share their grievances. During clear that the inclusion is just an our meeting, her phone rings empty claim. “The social excluconstantly with “cases” — most of There is change now, sion of women from communiwhich relate to sexual harassbut the pace of that ty life is so strong that often ment and domestic violence — change is too slow for voter IDs are not made for womshe tells us. Rinky can’t return to the cost we bear en,” says Sangwan. When womher village now; her family has en begin to have their own spread rumours of an affair, even relationships with the world, it a pregnancy. She will stay at Saviunnerves the Haryanvi male, ta’s and fight the case in court. who is used to “exercising control over her “But they’ve threatened to burn my certifiproperty, sexuality and interactions.” cates. I need to get them back, they’re my life.”

While khap panchayats continue to assert he eldest of three siblings, with two their dominance through diktats, honour younger brothers, Rinky’s childhood is crimes and sexual violence, traditional power similarly one of control. If her brothers aged structures in Haryana have begun to fracture.

18 and 13 were given bikes, Rinky could only By leaving home and her family, Rinky symbolboard the college bus (exclusively for women). ises the new breed of women steadily chalOn days when she missed the bus, she stayed lenging patriarchy. For the next generation of home. If her brothers could watch television, men like Dev, the going is only getting toughgo to cinemas, she had no such freedoms. er. To be a young man in Haryana will not be While her brothers had access to mobiles — such a wonderful thing. they have Facebook and WhatsApp accounts — her phone was monitored. “They answered priyanka kotamraju with nandini nair

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Cut, copy and some paste The swivelling hairdresser’s chair is a perfect lens through which one sees masculinities gently revolve

Uneasy lie the dead Young water vendors walk through a cemetery in Kabul.

Those buried here were not killed by a hail of pens and pencils afp/shah marai

PAPERWALLAH

Bloody farce

Powdering one’s nose Metrosexuality is a norm rather than an anomaly today ashoke chakrabarty

The many cartoons invoking pens and pencils are cruel hypocrisy to lives lost when the West wielded not the pen, but the sword

janice pariat

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ated film magazines apart, unfeteing a writer I am inordinately fond tered narcissism is the one thing ofyou pens.

Either to metaphorical, the are bound get familiar with ‘pen’ which I type-write, literafterwith spending time at a or barber the fountain pen I carry with me to shop. Theal,hour and a half that Nitish Rungta book signings.

“You’re thein only person I know has spent facing a mirror Wakil’s Beauty Sawho still uses ansatisfied ink pen,” someone at a lon hasn’t quite hissaid vanity.

The Kolkarecent launch.

Lately,businessman pens have been on my ta-based 29-year-old continues mind. ever since the of an Charlie to gazeRather, at his reflection.

As ifoffices chasing eluHebdo were attacked, leaving people his dead. sive perfection, his fingers pass12through reThe BBCgelled carried a picture from a public A cently hair more than dozen rally. times. hand a pen, He raised highcharged in the air, His billholding finally arrives. has been for clenched andadefiant. of course a shampoo, haircut,It’sa seductive, shave, a manicure, — the penand as sword, as weapon, a Subtle Knife pedicure the threading of his eyebrows (a that slices away which injustice, hypocrisy, and unprocess through he barely flinched).

He truth.

Images these been is a regular herelike and, fromhave the look of flooding things, a newspapers across the world, as well as our generous tipper.

Would he identify himself as newsfeeds and Rungta timelines.

Pen-warfare, let’s ‘metrosexual’? simply says, “I think call Doing the rounds cartoons of thatthem. term was relevant when are people like me broken re-sharpened to fight were anpencils exception.

I look around todayanother and evday, drawing toolsanplaced shape of Ifa eryone is finding excuseintothe look better. gun, quills raining down bombssingling on armed metrosexuality is the newasnorm, us ‘Arab’ terrorists, out is just unfair.”pens strapped like bombs around a man’s torso, towering about Married for two years, Rungtapencils believes that to attacked by andalso theblunts tip of thisbeinvestment inan hisairplane, appearance the obvious Eiffel tower transformed intoexisted a giant disparities that once innib his impaling a hook-nosed turbaned relationship.

“I used to notice how ‘Muslim’ my wife waving a scimitar.

Also, a pencil eraser would spend hours trying to look hererasing attracan extremist with (just in case you miss tivearmed best for me. I wanted to repay that favour. the point) “terror”my printed above his head, and So what if getting blackheads removed is a “ideas are bulletproof”. message couldn’t little painful?

Given theThe ordeals she endures, be theIface a backward medieval thisclearer. is the In least can of do.”

Mohammad Nazir ideology only understands language and Samathat Ahmad, who work at the Wakil’s, have of the gun, the West — the brave, heroic,before. peaceheard Rungta’s theories of equality loving, Enlightenment-inspired West — the reHaving made a career of patient listening, sponds by reaffirming its commitment to rebarber and the beautician are the keepers of sist barbarism withmen the weapons of ideasthey and many secrets that share. Together freedom of expression. have 40 years of shared experience. From their It is, as point, Corey Oakley says in ‘Charlie Hebdo vantage the swivelling hairdresser’s and Hypocrisy of Pencils’ the Redwhich Flag, chairthe becomes a perfect lens in through well pastmasculinities time to call the bullshit. one sees gently revolve.

Each these thetraining notion Nazirof was onlycartoons 15 when invokes he started that the Westa will fightinIslamic (or to become barber Patna extremism 25 years ago. should simply call days,” it fascism, without con“Those we were simpler he reminisces.

“I solidating to atoparticular just neededassociations to know how give men cultural a shave.

There was only one principle when it came to tradition?) battle ideas,These an armahaircutting with — cutathe hair of short.” days, these might be) entail a rejection and disrement of cartoons, graphic novels — gard of violence and terror as political tools. complains Nazir, literature, all men want long sidesans bloodshed violence, sansthey drones burns.

“As far asand their hair goes, justand use The pen too does not lie blameless. It has bombers. image carries the dangerously some gel Each to give themselves the look they wreaked havoc, but not in the way these penmisleading suggestion of craft a sanitised, intellecwant. Earlier, you needed to make some- warfare cartoonists like to portray. The pen tual pursuit conflict In reality it has signed endless Patriot acts and anti-terror one look likeof Shah Rukhresolution.

Khan. There’s none of has but.hard For almost dec- laws tightening state surveillance, passed bills that been now.”anything Ahmad tries to stifletwo a laugh. ades the US, in she varying degrees by a curtailing civil rights and entrenching police For more thanbacked a decade had mastered the proves important.”

Sonampen Phunstok, techniclutch of Western governments, art of giving men facials, but hashas nowrained been harassment.

The editorial has launched cal advisor and to L’Oréal, is in indiscriminate perfect agreement destruction — of the — want on thea prolonged forced to expand hernon-pencil repertoire.kind “Men oftentimes anwith Afzar, anti-migrant but he believes that commerce is ‘Arab andtoday.

Muslim ferociously, repeat- ti-Muslim, hair spa Theyworld’, want their hair coloured. attacks, with little just the for first men’sit concerns. netedly. echotheir Oakley, “it waxed, was nottheir pencils and thought They To want arms cheeks theofpeople so casuallySocial labels and working,Many he says, plays just aswere important pens — let alone ideas — that left Iraq, Gaza and decries. threaded.

Everyone wants a manicure.” of those in power quick toa the selfie, Facebook, InstaAfghanistan andthe hun-husband who role. “In the age Accordingshattered to Ahmad, rallyofbehind Charlie Hebdo while areconfast dreds thousands dead.”

Noton a weekend gram and matrimonial comesof into a salon with his wife not seeing websites, the irony men in their reducedpractices to their image.”

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Hundreds thousands. With is no longer aof disinterested spectinued of censorship It isn’t quite clearagainst if L’Oréal lives, Withremains stories tator. with Nazir,families. for his part, (from the witch-hunt Wisoothed and men’s insecurities that will disgruntled. now remain unwritten. a touch “There are kileaks, the Snowden when scanEach image carries it launched itsthe range of Homme The cartoons cruelthrough hypocmore men whoare walk dal, down to many writers the dangerously Menmisleading want a hair spa products in India five years ago. risy lives lost the thesetodoors, yes, when but our artWest has and bloggers warning against today.

They want The seemingly company, though, wielded pen, butA few the certainly not takenthe a beating.” the friendly appeared embrace suggestion of a their hairintellectual coloured. to have found a balm man’s sword. again. Not sanitised, blocks Time away,and in time the marginally of surveillance and for thoughtwant arms crime manifold tragedies — hairfall, just recently, butsalon also in the past.a They posher unisex Mapui’s, apparatuses worldwide). pursuit oftheir conflict waxed, their cheeks dandruff, chest hair.of ahistor“Before After all, it wasn’t the barrel-trigcustomer flips through a little We commit a crime resolution threaded 2010,philistinism men used if the prodger of ideas that put pictures Western cofolder containing of ical wesame ignore the ucts as —women.

We longstandwanted to lonial placeHairto leading policies Bollywoodinactors. context recent and change Now every neighsystematically consignAfzar theirtries coldresser Mohammad ing — tothat. the reaction embodied bourhood hair and onies, those in the hard toincluding explain to his lightlyin sloganssalon like offers #jesuischarlie skinracism, treatments,” claims Arab world, into poverty and hopelessness. that risk casting balding client that he doesn’t xenophobia andPhuncolostok.heritage The recent shifta in men’s toLest forget, France’s rule AlgeriaRoshan’s was bru- nial havewe the required mane forofHrithik under carpet of attitudes victimhood. wardfarce theirhappily appearance has been driven by tal, imperialists murdering Bangthe Bang coiffure. Incomplicit an effort in to console, he The continues.

World leaders factors even substantive. hundreds colonial subjects to link says, “Let of us thousands find a styleofthat’ll suit you and arms formore freedom of thought while im“Men don’t live in aand bubble anymore. preserve the remnants of empire. your personality the best.” prisoning dissidents surveying theirThey cititravel the world.

TheyOrdinary are tunedMuslims into global What would be heartening is a turnout of a zenry’s For Afzar, haircutting and styling is a family every move. are fashion and international media.terrorist A sense atof million people to Parisian streets put expected profession.

Buttaking unlike his father, whoto was to rigorously denounce style isn’t but to Indian menThe areright ceran end to poverty, ghettoisation known forthe hisongoing emulation of several Amitabh tacks they inherent, have nothing do with. tainly trying very hard,”sympathetic says senior stylist Ruand persecution endured thetoiled Muslim popBachchan templates, Afzarbyhas hard to accuses the left of being to ‘Islampaterrorism’.

Moktan at Meanwhile, Kolkata’s popular salon AN John. ulation France, of individual Algerian origin. develop of styles thatmostly cater to faces ic Muslims in the West Her in trade, concludes,violent is alsoreprisals; doublingI’m as The of theThere West’sis,relationship with the live and history preferences. he says, an economfear she of inevitable that final leveller. a man or a wom‘Muslim world’ involves and im- certain ic imperative that informscolonialism his customisations. they won’t “Whether be dodging ink–filled pens, an, we arequills, as careful with both. Hair is no longperialism, and war, feathery “In today’soccupation, competitivesubjugation and cutthroat world, and sharpened pencils. and raising thecapitalise pen, clenched people need to on theirand owndefiant, identi- er gendered. We all want to be a cut above.” erases that, upholding instead The the way sweetly ties to get ahead of one another. you janice pariat is the author of Seahorse shreevatsa nevatia quaint notion values’you, (whatever style your hairthat tells‘Western a story about which t@janicepariat

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Being superhuman Being Salman Khan “means people will look up to you” h satish

book to rescue it from trolls. “The way Sonakshi Sinha says it…” he adds, blushing.

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Salman Khan to the rescue

He who embodies the Indian man’s collective search for a larger identity to replace the ordinary one life has doled out

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t must have been about five years ago, sometime after Wanted released. We had just come out of a disconcerting theatrical experience in a Delhi multiplex, where men of all ages sat feet up in lounge chairs, spilling their guts into giant bags of popcorn, cheering a seriously violent vigilante Radhe played by Salman Khan, in a film that would mark his return to popular imagination. (Or so we thought. In reality, Khan never left the Indian male imagination.)

Meanwhile, in Meerut, a friend reported, groups of men went to watch Bhai’s latest offering, and at a crucial moment in the film, just as Bhai seems beaten by the villain, they took off their shirts en masse and roared, “Bhaijaan, Bhaijaan, Bhaijaan,” and shirts were flung at the screen. As if on cue, Khan tore off his own shirt. Muscles ripped. Blood spilt. The friend who kept his shirt on said he could taste the adrenalin in his mouth.

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our years later, we were in Janki Talkies, Nagpur, at the first-day-first-show of Khan’s Jai Ho, to try and understand the many meanings behind this pagan ritual. We had been shooting our documentary, Being Bhaijaan, with Shan Ghosh, a Khan lookalike by profession and passion, and ‘Junior Salman’ of Nagpur. He is ‘hamara Salman’ on the Jai Salman WhatsApp group, and a beloved bhai to textile salesman Balram and ‘engineer-atheart’ Bhaskar. Along with other Salman Khan fans, we watched Jai Ho, breathless and moisteyed, knowing that we were recording the boys’ collective search for a larger identity to replace the very ordinary one life had handed out to them.

Mard hone ka matlab kya hai (what’s the definition of a man), we had asked boys and men across Uttar Pradesh, Delhi and parts of Kolkata, researching for the documentary. Aukaat (stature), they replied. Pehchaan (identity), said others. We talked to Salman fans in cities and cities-in-the-making, where the star’s strongest fan base lies. Many of these boys

e’re sitting in a sea of cafes in Safdarjung Development Area, roughly half an hour and two civilisations away from Najafgarh. Rajesh, 35, points out various groups of men, most are friends or friend’s friends, since all Jats are brothers, really. He shares tales of growing up in bordering Haryana, of a new rush of money, of falling in love with women you were only allowed to watch from the terrace. Of never being touched by a woman, in case you got killed. “When we came here first, we were so shocked. We saw all these women.

They talked differently. They wore different clothes. It was mesmerising. Everyone fell in love. Madly. The women used them, ditched them. The men just didn’t understand.”

This complete bafflement at the “new woman” often comes out as suspicion. Stories abound in small-town India, in big-town India, in cafes and bars, in chai shops and at the barber’s, that she, the woman, broke his heart.

She left him. She said no. “Even Salman Bhai is unmarried because of this,” says Shan aka Junior Salman. “Because he said he’ll marry a woman with the sanskar (values) of his mother. But those girls are no longer in the market.”

While the Indian woman was finding a new language to fight patriarchy, while she was learning to say no, the Indian man found himself rudderless, set out at sea. Rejection is a powerful force. And in Salman Khan’s films, the woman never says no.

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alman Khan, a protector of folk-hero prowere at the cusp of manhood, looking for a portions, is impervious to a failed liberalicode to abide by. “You know, what being a Bhai means? It means everyone is going to look up sation dream. Khan embodies the narrative of to you,” said Kaif, 22, from Orai, UP. Being a self-reliance. ‘Mujhpe ek ehsaan karna, ke mujhBhai seems a logical aspiration, actually. Since, pe koi ehsaan na karna’ (Do me the favour of the only way men defined themselves was not doing a favour). Shohini Ghosh, professor, through the roles they played. I’m a son. I’m a essayist and filmmaker, who has been workbrother. I’m a friend. I will be a father. Not ing with masculinity and fandom, and has a knowing where they stand, and what they chapter on Khan in her PhD, once told us, “For should want, the grandiose lexicon of patriar- anybody who has not been on top of the postchy comes to their rescue. Honour, duty, pro- liberalisation boom of the last decade, for anytect, provide, respect, stature — aukaat — that body who has witnessed the liberalisation word, over and over again. “When people look benefits but from far, who have brushed at me they should say, ‘Woh dekho, Bhaskar jaa against it but not ridden it… they like Salman raha hai’,” says the grandson of a well-known Khan… And since, in today’s country, you can’t wrestler in Nagpur who died in penury. “Just depend on anyone else and the system will fail the way they would say, ‘Woh dekho Madho Pe- you — your body will be your only weapon.”

There are more gyms in small-town India helwan jaa raha hai,’” he says, surrounded by than cyber cafes. A gym trainer in wires, designing a “top-secret Chhindwara, dressed in a fitted product” for Salman Bhai. red T-shirt with a plunging V Just a few years ago, India was neckline, says, “Every hero today being celebrated for having the It’s a body on display, has a six-pack. But it all started largest number of young people like a painting, joyous with (the song) O O Jaane Jaana, in the world. Today, economists and hairless when Bhai took off his shirt.” consider it a demographic These men-only gyms have been nightmare. Gleaming India, one crafting a new body for the Indiwhich Shah Rukh Khan reprean male, a Kshatriya body, which sented, doesn’t seem true anymore for anybody, especially for unemployed relies heavily on upper-body strength. More boys fighting hard to find a purpose. Salman importantly, it’s a body on display, like a paintKhan took the stories back to mofussil India, ing, joyous and hairless. If Michelangelo were and in film after film, stood as its protector. He to paint today, he’d set his canvas on the also brought back the vardi, or police uniform, streets of Meerut and Chhindwara.

At various points in history, we’re reminded one that had all but disappeared after the spoils of globalisation made it irrelevant. He what it is to be men and women, lest we forget, was clearly onto something. Vikram, 22, from lest society dissolve. We’re taught to protect Behraich said, “Three lakh engineers come out ourselves against a cruel world, lest we forget, of each state every year. If I continue as an en- that to live is to fight. For men and women sufgineer, I’ll just be one of them. My dream is to fer equally, cry equally, to create an identity under an overwhelmingly patriarchal society. be in the IPS. Everybody respects a uniform.”

Izzat (respect). This too came up repeatedly, If we had feminism to help us through this like one of god’s own names. “Especially, when mess, Bhai fans, it seems, have Salman Khan. a girl says ‘aap’. Aajkal to saari ladkiyan ‘tu’ bolti hain (these days girls don’t use the higher reg- shabani hassanwalia and samreen farooqui ister of address),” says Balram, as he sets up a are working on a documentary on the bachelors of new page for the Jai Salman group on Face- Haryana. Being Bhaijaan releases later this year

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Becoming a man G

rowing up in Coimbatore district, unlike other girls my age, I was never shy about wearing really short shorts or taking part in a running or cycling race with boys. It wasn’t like I felt odd or anything, I just knew it was how I was.

I have two brothers and a sister, and for the longest time I insisted on wearing my brothers’ clothes rather than my sister’s, and my mother would get very angry.

I have always known my partner G and we have been through everything together. Everyone sensed we were different, but it was a small town and maybe they didn’t know how to react. Our families decided to get us married, even though we were hell bent against it.

After I turned 19, they married me off to a garment contractor in Tiruppur. G was married to someone in the same town. That was the first time I was not in touch with her, not even a letter or phone call for a whole year. I became pregnant against my wishes, and when I went home to my parents, I refused to return to my husband. G and I got back in touch and decided to run away.

Front and centre Rudrakshya, an Odissi ensemble by Guru Bichitrananda Swain, better known for its all-male performances The shyamhari Tamil chakra weekly Kumudam had a story about a lesbian couple in Palakkad who received help from a women’s group after running away from home. We decided to do the same. I had to leave my year-old baby behind because we didn’t know how things would turn out. In Palakkad, the group was helpful and put us in touch with Sangama in Bengaluru, where I now work as an accountant. But not before our families traced us with the help of the police and confined us forcibly at home for n the summer of 1995, Lingaraj Pradhan, rarely come close. In recent years, efforts have paying spectators, a wholesponsors year. and patrons of Even withinthe queer accompanied and encouraged by his also been stepped up to include more male managed to start meeting G women whoI performed. politics, cousin, made his maiden trip to Bhuba- characters on stage. Bichitranandan Swain it is always againdancer after I and tookauthor up a typewritBharatanatyam Tulsi Bathe male-to-female neshwar. He filled the application form and Lingaraj Pradhan’s Odissi group, Ru- drinath mentions ing job near her We an incident thathouse. happened for Utkal Sangeet Mahavidyalaya’s Odissi drakshya, for instance, has promotedtransgendered male to her guru, VP moved to Bengaluru in 2005 Dhananjayan, in the ’60s. and “He person training course. Pradhan, a 15-year-old, had no dancers through performances exclusively de- who my son and twoup chilhad recently live leftwith Kalakshetra andher taken a training in the dance form. But when he was signed for men. Bharatanatyam too hasgets wit-noticed dren. hasPeople been there good temporary job withBengaluru a company. accepted into the programme, all hell broke nessed a similar shift — Ramachandran used to tauntto us.about In thedancing. early days, the people him But today he loose back home.

Muralidaran, who has created over 750 such is so well-known at Sangama took careawards of us.toI and has national “I come from a village, and my family is cul- compositions says, “I was not comfortable per- his credit. So,could dress likeshe I wanted times finally have changed,” says. ture-oriented. Yet, the notion of my learning forming female roles all the time. I realised I and be myself.

Our respective Kuchipudito dancer MV Murthy, empanelled dance was unsettling for them,” says Pradhan. needed to express myself as a male dancer.” husbands haveIndian filed Council for divorce and have, artist with the for Cultural ReThe eldest of five children, he was expected to Historically, Indian dance — classical, folk or lations, more orsays, less,“When let us Ibe. I tookworking, up computer started it bebe the breadwinner of the family. And of tribal — was dominated by men who were gu- came classesdifficult and gottoa manage driving licence too.dance.

G too work and course, there was talk in the village over why a rus, composers and performers. found work and weIhave When usedatosmall take place leave now. for perman would choose to dance? Yet, rebel that he For centuries male dancers were As a female-to-male transperson, not formances, colleaguesit was always was, he chose Odissi over family compulsions. neither a rarity nor an excepeasy for me asked to find others me why I gotlike leave forinitially. pursuHe trained under Guru Gangadhar Pradhan tion, neither was it questionable Now, thankfully, have andThis it’s way a great support ing Ithe arts.

Indian artSabhas still prefer and Guru Bichitrananda Swain, and now per- for a man to pursue dance as a system. But even within queer it is alists are always at apolitics, disadvantage. women, saying “this forms across India, the US and Europe. vocation, or be identified by his ways the male-to-female transgendered perWe have a system where sportsis what audiences At the core of Pradhan’s experience are mid- sexual identity and orientation. son who gets noticed, by organisaNGOs or persons arewhether hired by want” dle-class India’s gender politics and notions of Since dance was linked to temwithin the community.

Somehow,sopatriarchy tions and supported that they sexuality. The idea of what makes a ‘man’ is a ple rituals, women were largely seems entrenched in these spaces Even can play.

But the sametoo. encourchecklist that specifies certain professions, not allowed to dance due to tathough I think of myself as a offered man, I still don’t agement is not to those pursuits, interests, attributes and characteris- boos linked to the impurity of feel safe walking down a dark in performing arts.alley We — arethat’s the tics: dance simply doesn’t make the cut. Even the female body. Women who defied such mo- cultural just something I am unable change. ambassadors of thisto nation, after all.” now, young boys aspiring to take up dance as a res were devadasis, mujrawalis and their ilk.

I consider a transperson not a This reflects myself a typical middle-classand mindset vocation are faced with such dilemmas.

It was perhaps, only in the 19th and 20th that transman, because not been able get endorses sportsI have and academics, buttoconNishanth Panicker, 16, has been learning century — following the Indian society’s brush siders my sexdance reassignment surgery (SRS) done.

I’m and music “hobbies.”

Murthy Kathak for over six years and performing for with Victorian moralities, a time when dance adds worried it will impact son’s futhat,whether as it is, dancers are paidmy peanuts by nearly four. Initially, he hid his interest in the moved out of temples and courts to urban au- sabhas, ture. I have also notprefer officially changed my“this givwhich still women, saying performing arts from his friends at school for diences, and when the Devadasi system was is enwhat name, and forwant”. official purposes, suchfor as audiences Also, it is difficult fear of ridicule. But eventually, Panicker wi- abolished — that there was a visible shift in the dancers, getting aespecially ration card orfrom a passport, I’m not men, small towns or sened up. He was not the problem, it was those perception of performing artistes and their without Charu Priyan.

Even my to mother, who knows famous gurus succeed and pull judging him — “The irony is that so many great roles. That the Indian Nationalist movement through about G and doesn’t thatsays, I’m a“From tranthe me, initial years.know Murthy dancers from India happen to be men.” Pankaj engendered an ‘idealised vision’ of men as the sabhas sperson. my parents’dancers house, from I go back to betoAt newspapers, establishSharan Das, Kelucharan Mohapatra, Gangad- professional, warriors/soldiers and women as ed ingfamilies a woman. it comes to my 13-year-old orWhen the few top performers are rehar Pradhan (Odissi); Birju Maharaj (Kathak); the custodian of culture and home, didn’t peatedly child, while I dress the wayabout.

I wantWhat to, I’m still called or written about Kottakal Sivaraman (Kathakali); CV Chandra- help matters either. his amma notand father.

I’d much rather wait those whoand are up coming?” sekhar, PT Dhananjayan, Uday Shankar, Ram Art critic and commentator Sadanand Me- until can understand whatand I feelgender and what Thehelink between dance re-I Gopal (Bharatanatyam), among others, are non says, “When dance was performed on the mains have gone through. complex even today. Masculinity strugsome of the pillars of Indian dance. “Why, even urban upper-middle-class stage… was when gles Just other askedBelgium-based him how he to the assert itselfday, on Istage. the God of dance is Nataraja! I think it would the issue of who’s the dancer and who’s the Bharatanatyam would feel if I became a man.

He Sooraj said, “Why and Odissi dancer Subbe unfair and inappropriate to say that dance spectator began. And they made a clear dis- ramaniam should you,sums you are mother?” it my up in his poem ‘Identity is a girls’ activity,” he says. The power and im- tinction that women are the dancers and men Crisis’: This is biggest dilemma in Imy life define but, as Sothe you understand why can’t pact of Birju Maharaj and Kelucharan Moha- are the spectators,” he says. This period where myself of now,simply we are by together and weon aremy happy. the whiskers cheeks. patra’s female impersonations, for instance, dance was entertainment for men lasted Stilllegendary, in the dark and I thinkeven of myself as a man, but I still don’t about feel safe30-35 in a lonely alley, says Priyan grn somashekar As told tojain sibi arasu are women dancers have years.

Men were now the revenue- mahima

The life and love of a female-to-male transperson

Pirouetting around gender Historically, Indian dance was dominated by men who were gurus, composers and performers. But in time, male performers were pushed to the margins of the stage

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Different shade of rainbow, baby I choose the floral kimono onesie over my son’s favourite star-spangled t-shirt

“H

e is going to be a chef!” — If I Lest we ‘make them gay’, that fate worse than a at ends of a spectrum. The vast majority lie in had a rupee for every time deflowered virgin’s. the middle — fuzzy-legged girls, boys with sensomeone left this remark on The whole thing makes me mad enough to sitive skin, clumsy males who hammer their my 18-month-old’s photo- flout the rules and flaunt it. I shop the whole nails, females who cannot sew a straight seam, graphs online, I could fund his first appear- store. But in public I queer my child’s appear- persons who prefer churidars to skirts or ance on Junior MasterChef. It makes pants, lovers of boxing rings and my blood boil. spa treatments. All wasting time No one ever says “he will surely being furtive and uncomfortable, be a linguist or an artist,” when he wasting energy on shopping for makes me read the same picture choices not on the market, wasting book 25 times. His 10-year-old coueffort and attention on fitting into sin cooking an after-school snack those extreme, uncompromising does not fan such ambition. And boxes. As though there isn’t a slew people who mistake my ‘boy’ for a of better things they might do. ‘girl’ are profusely apologetic — The gender binary shuts down never mind that the child itself is in possibilities and potential. It also no position yet to know, let alone leads to dangerous hierarchies — it articulate, a gender identity. is okay for baby girls to wear blue, But coming back to MasterChef. but unmanning for a penis to be My child loves three things in equal dressed in pink. Implicit in the almeasure — cooking, books and outlotted roles of limited expression ings. From our cook to the erudite are privilege and intrinsic value. feminist aunt, they insist the Boy And I refuse to contribute to devawho Cooks is a chef-in-waiting. That luing myself. is the only way, apparently, onlookThen there is the small matter of ers can reconcile the conundrum recognising that I made this small of a male with a ‘feminine’ preoccuhuman — but parenthood is guardpation — a glamorous career. Verianship, not ownership. Who am I sus the uncomfortable idea that all to deny it the joy of twirling in a lustoddlers like to bang pans, steer trous silk skirt or the comfort of buses, scrub floors with their big squatting to pee? To turn the quespeople, without consulting their tion around, who does it hurt if we diaper area. do not conform to convention? If His baby curls, unshorn, are anno one, why so shrill, these exclaother bugbear. “Clips!” They exmations? Nor is this project about claim. “How sweet... When will you ensuring boys play with dolls or cut it?” My friend with the curlygirls deplore Barbie. It is about haired daughter, sitting right bemaking all of it available — and letside him, doesn’t field that questing my child choose. And allowing tion. Add to the picture another him to change his mind the next friend’s son, gold beads in his ears, day. And not judge.

Same difference M or F? Only the child can tell... in time manidipa mandal and people begin to get broody — Does it matter what’s in the unfor daughters to dress up. One out derpants for every toy/clothing/furof three, we tell them. They cannot backpedal ance away from expectations for his assigned- nishing/airline seat we purchase? We might as fast enough. at-birth sex. I choose the floral kimono onesie well ask if one is right- or left-handed, blueThere was a time when the extended family or purple ‘mojri rani’ kurta, over his favourite eyed or black. It makes something irrelevant handed down the same sweet smocks for all star-spangled t-shirt. And feel like a heel for us- into something critical, a weapon of control. babies. Now I walk into the shoe shop to be ing my child’s body to further my politics.

What if we stopped playing along? What if questioned ‘boy or girl’, because apparently a People ask why, sometimes. What’s wrong we started paying attention? Perhaps we first shoe must be pink/purple, floral/glittery with vive la difference? This, to me, is like ask- could discover and nurture a mathematician or else blue/brown, sporty. Red may be an op- ing why a woman should work, or a dancer better if all children tion, but don’t count on confusing greens and what harm in staying home. got an abacus and a music box. obfuscating yellows. How would we know Why not make an ambidextrous Perhaps my son and daughter how to talk about the baby then? How’d we child’s life ‘easier’ by maiming Red may be an option, might both learn to drive, unlike know whether to buy it trucks or fairytales? their left hand? As harmless as their mother, and cook dinner, but don’t count on Whether to encourage her to pour from a tea- using fairness creams to imconfusing greens and just like their father. Perhaps all pot or arm him with bats? prove one’s chances of promochildren and all grown-ups could obfuscating yellows Harmless, you say? When one toy clearly tion or procreation. wear what they want — pants, corrals the growing mind and body indoors First, these insidious enforceskirts, heels, Mohawks — without and helps the other go run about in the sun? rs of division tie into social sucbeing bullied or brave. Maybe beOne cooks, the other orders. Entire economies cess. Secondly, it is in direct ing ‘so gay’ wouldn’t be an insult. are built on this difference. Bullying to fit the contradiction of a parent’s double-barrelled So the neighbours could go back to worryM/F boxes starts early. One mother says her job description: protect from harm, equip ing about important things like safe, stimulatson, five, not only refuses to wear pink but with varied life skills. Thirdly, it is based on ing neighbourhoods, rather than the colour won’t ‘let’ her buy any for his baby brother. His misconceptions of gender as an either/or of my son’s skirt. Now, wouldn’t that be nice? friends said it is for girls. And for a boy to stray switch-box. In truth, like most human attri- And right. As right as a rainbow after rain. into girlness signals present and future inepti- butes, gender follows the bell curve. There are tude, against which blue booties safeguard. stereotypical macho men and dainty ladies — manidipa mandal is a Delhi-based freelance writer

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The pedicure boys dipankar

Lowest in the pecking order of salons, even the ‘waxing ladies’ rarely cast a friendly eye upon them. Yet a good one, like Elvis, can swing out of the door, groupies (and tips) in tow

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ASARAM BAPU WINS ‘MANLY MAN AWARD’!

am standing outside an exhibition hall in Sonepat, Haryana, one of the manliest cities in the country. The men around me are rugged and upright.

The smell of testosterone hangs heavy in the air. Women are conspicuous by their absence. The atmosphere is grim, but festive.

Little stalls advertise potency pills and chest hair supplements.

I am at the venue of the 2014 Manly Man Awards, jointly promoted by the Macho Men of India and the Society for Protection of Item Numbers. I am late, and the ceremony is over. Most of the audience has gone, chasing after the item girls, but since the girls were in vehicles, and the men were on

ASK ALLY

Ally Subramaniam was born in the Southwest Sundarbans, but was blown away by a cyclone and washed up on the shore near Chennai. He was adopted by a poor Brahmin family from Tirupur. He can answer all your questions. Just send them to askallysubramaniam@gmail.com

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foot, most of the girls have managed to escape. oori zindagi yeh thode karna hai A mysterious yogi sitting in a hi corhardly dospeaks. this all“The my life)?” ner opens (I’ll his eyes and sayswas Anil*, hunched a pair of competition tough,” heover says, feet, a small, “but, finally,lathered it had to be Asaram Bapu. warm whirlpool swishing underneath them; the Today when we speak of him, we whislack inrespect. his voiceWhen belying theare deftness peroftopride show boys of born, his hands, kneading and scrubbing, we place our hands gently on filing and clipping with the single-mindedness their little foreheads, and say, ‘O vats! of a professional.

“Gharwale toh samajhte hain May you grow up to be an Asaram!’” main“It hairstylist (mychoice,” family thinks seems a hoon strange I say, I’m a hairstylist)” a charade he’s up since he hesitantly,—“Should it not bekept someone walked as a pedicurist at a beauty parlour in morein muscular?” south Delhi. isFive years on, faith “Muscle maya,” says thehis yogi.

“Allunwavering, he mind. says someday be the guy is in the The mindheiswill the essence with the swagger and the streaked hair, blowing smoke rings on the pavement outside, when he’s not shampoo boys three around earordering Ally, for the past or trimmingmonths, an AliyaIcut into shape. have been stalking a Until then, cultural avergirlany in residue college, of yetashe has not sion to touching feet, fallen in loveespecially with me. of Amwomen, I domust be set aside to save and scrounge, and ing something wrong? payRegards, for a hairstyling at ₹80,000, Surendracourse Kumar,that, Kanpur costs 10 times his salary. In a country where Dear Surendra, pairIfchuna (touching feet) can be both a sign you have not been pepper-sprayed yet, of deference andguardedly a markeroptimistic. of ‘low class’, you can be Due or to at least class or position than is thesufferperson sucha technology, todaylower romance whose feetyou you’re to touch, ing. Have triedbending singing?over In cinema, yourespect is hard-won forhero pedicurists.

Scrubbing will notice that the is not only stalkdead metal foot ing, skin he iswith alsoasinging.

By filer, now,and youcountermust ing any her suggestion ‘backwardness’, Anil, know walking ofroute well. Position whose farmer-father leftnear Garhwal to set up a yourself strategically a lamppost. tailoring in the he’s will “man Swingingunit from thisplains, while claim you sing enough to touch a woman’s Askand him demonstrate both romantic feet”. ability how he’ll introduce to his future girlfphysical fitness. Orhimself you could buy a BMW. riend or wife though, andfuture he says,mother unblinking, Remember this is the of “Hairstylist, aur kya else)?” your children.

No (what expense is too much. If your budget is tight, try chloroform, but owest in the of salonsafter — unremember notpecking to smellorder it yourself less youin count the whogenuine, clean and purchase, order to‘helpers’, assess if it’s swab, and rushrender in with hotunconscious. towels at everyas this could you If one’s andis call — eventry the ‘waxing ladies’ nonebeck of this working, stalking somerarely friendly body cast else,ain such a eye wayupon that the she pedicurist. can also Yet, time, a good likeofElvis, see.inSometimes, as aone, result this, can theyswing beout of jealous, the door, groupies (and tips) in tow. come leading to desired result.

Some mayaffectionately, even brag about Yours Allythe magic touch — a euphemism for the orgasm they trigger in a few ladies, dupatta unruffled, ankles exposed.

“P D

L

The first footstep Pedicurists are SHOVON CHOWDHURY is often biding before chief Truthdigger and time author theyAuthority can breach the of The Competent hierarchies of a salon and become a k ananthan hairstylist No longer can husbands come back from a

of manliness. When the divine Asaram was arrested, and subjected to hard day at work and tell their wives, “Sorry, In urban, business-like where pedi- dear, potency test, did heDelhi, shrink fromahis I have headache.”

“When divine Asaure), he’saraising his own family in the Capital curist responsibility? is practically No, genderless — the although wasdriving in the athana,” theirAtwives say, he rose to oc- ram and new bike.

33, hewill is already a women preferWith the the powerful male “did casion. forces strokes of law inofhot he say — he“About had a headache?’ veteran 20 years ago, when I arrived handspursuit, over the with light caress women a ped- “So thea decision was ₹10 unanimous?”

I ask.

Arnab of baying for— his here, haircut cost or ₹12; a generous tip icure is a service, says environment Priyanka Singh, “Not blood, in thereally, unhealthy at all,” thethen yogi,was “Competition was ₹2.

All I says wanted to make that exmarketing at Geetanjali, chainthe of sa- wastrareally of a director police station, faced awith tough.

Katju narrowly ₹2 and send itJustice home to my parents.” lons that started over two decades agoonly in the missed out, for saying that unmarried threat of interrogation, assisted at another favourite in Green then sleepy neighbourhood Green by a junior policeman,ofstill he Park was in womenacksuffer from old psychological prob- Park, some remember a time whenwere the pedisouth able Delhi, a beehive beauty parlours tonow perform.

Thatof too, at such an lems. Ajay Devgn and Sakshi Maharaj cureplaced boys sat in wait for customers in the nofor men and women.

“They know what they jointly third.

Unfortunately, Sakshiji advanced age. Sources indicate he is wedding, no-festival air hung are signing says Singh, it rehelps could 63, butup asfor,” we know, age is“Yet often not attend due to aseasons. test tubeThe mishap. with the smell understanding of acetone andofmusty that we don’tinhire rookies anymore.”

Unlike As heavy duced India to prolong working a result of incorrect andprocess, the onlyhe time plastic tubs the ‘waxing ladies’, many of whom must over- thetowels, life. This makes his achievement even test tube hasthe sustained mi- got a was when a customer’s feet were lowcome their distaste for wax at first, norrinse more creditable.

HeBrazilian is an inspiration. injuries.” male pedicurists rarely flinch. Coveted by all ered into them. At a spruced up Meghna, however, ‘clients’ not customers (like but the ‘Saudi ladies’ (an umsalon, not beauty parlour) await brella term for women in their turn on plush leatherite abayas), Singh says, “after a seats on a busy weekend. Young while, the men thrive on compliUnlike the ‘waxing Rahul*, with rolled-up sleeves ments and repeat customers.” ladies’, who must and a tattooed arm, stands out in Brought into the fold by a overcome their his spiked, bleached hair — a pasfriend or neighbour in the trade, distaste for Brazilian sive-aggressive avowal of his ‘seto the unlettered jobseeker a wax at first, male cret’ ambition. A rebellion beauty parlour is what a call cenpedicurists rarely against the strict hierarchies or tre is to a fresh graduate without flinch ‘posts’ at work. A dismissal of his a ‘proper’ white-collar job — a identity as anofAligarhi stopgap arrangement that, after n news described as ‘inevitable’ by his show that money is the root all evil!”presswason, the whosubject, once tilled the fields a point, can cease to be one. father-in-law, a 41-year-old govern“Ever since hela’s raised she had with his introspective,” father.

Some like Dinesh*, a chatty in midand exment schoolteacher Ludhiana ran become moody Primed as he is to“She bestwas hisbeating fate, Rahul dle-aged pedicure ‘boy’ who as a fa- plained a neighbour. himis not away from home, after started his repeated a hairdresser therless learn to work the waiting for his employers requestsschool to havedropout, three more children were up or more often ustad to spot his flair like Sah.she Or counting system, than used to. pendenied giving by his out wife.numbers Sources to saycustomers, matters nies to fund an education like Anil.

He is using identifying and classifying peopletrying by their took an ugly turn after he started to Conjugal relations and fraught family, and biding clothes, tonality, levels and proclivity his shears on friends became with creep up on herdecibel unexpectedly, often nails, trimming — towhile tip —she all was thiscooking. before they have settled into his time by buffing suspicion.

He sharedcuticles stato hisshowing enterprise massaging and the “His knock-off la-Z-Boys and picked up a well- and thanks sense of duty was very tistics the—upcoming shampooing hair as well. Work is manly — the thumbed strong,” Harper’s said his Bazaar father.to flip through. demographic challenge, sometimes act ofpie working crucial to as hisifyet Others Ganga “He hadlike only twoSagar Sah from Madhuba- using charts, but it was sheunformed was identity.

So what if he’s grown up with the idea nichildren, go further.

Grandson of a minor goldsmith, not even slightly concerned.” and he beauty feminine.

So what if thethe girls at his fallen on a train of Three daysasafter his disappearance, feltfamily’s he was notfortune put him contributworkare payyet him no an attention. if he has toing Delhi, sufficiently. where he started Personally, out as a helperIat police to file FIR. “WeSo arewhat hoping touch another’s feet.

Defiant, he says, “Kyun, Geetanjali worked hisdebacle. way up to become blame myand wife for this I had not a fortocompromise,” said their spokesperson. abhave mainrequested sabke sir bhi tohshe chuta hoon (why, hairdresser at their outlet inwho Ambience Mall, “We wanted a daughter-in-law was larger that consider fournow I touch everyone’s well, I?).”

Gurgaon. a celebrity his ownbecause right, Sah children, instead ofhead five,as but so don’t far she is than myNow son, but my wifeininsisted, (*Names have been changed on request.) has ‘gold’ again — earning anywhere to adjust.” herstruck income was good.

Which just goes tobe- unwilling tween ₹35,000 and ₹75,000 like other hair technicians (he doesn’t reveal the exact fig- soity banerjee

B

LUDHIANA HOUSEQ WIFE REFUSES TO HAVE MORE KIDS!

I

The Investigator is a fortnightly round-up of all things droll and newsy. All views are personal. Really personal t@shovonc

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THE CRITICAL ISSUE

Come together, right now Inclusion means teaching men to deal with new lives, new needs and the transformations that will inevitably happen

Everybody is here Change happens only when men and women work together r ragu

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Urvashi Butalia is editor, publisher and director of Zubaan

ome years ago a group of us, all independent publishers, got together to pool our energies and find ways of collectively distributing our titles. We thought this would give us some leverage in the market. At our first meeting, five of us, all women, arrived early and were sitting and chatting, waiting for our other colleagues — as it happened, all men. The first to arrive came around 15 minutes after the meeting was due to start. He flung open the door of the meeting room in which we were sitting, looked in, and loudly exclaimed, “Oh, nobody’s come!”

Every single one of us was aghast, and two of us screamed in shock and horror. We didn’t know whether to laugh or be offended. How could he say this? How could it be that he simply did not see us?

And yet, that is by and large the sad reality of Indian men — much of the time, they just don’t see women. Or, if they do, it’s in a limited way, mainly as sex objects, or otherwise as somehow lesser beings. The idea of a woman who can be assertive, who claims and exercises her rights simply does not seem to exist.

This invisibility or absence of women is evident in many different ways. Last month a young colleague, a woman, described to me how happy she was for a man friend of hers who was taking off two months, to wander through India. “He plans to take buses and

trains and go on foot and stay in cheap places selves on implementing those two buzz conand dharamshalas and so on,” she said, “and cepts: diversity and inclusion. But there’s little take pictures and write about his experienc- sense of how these work — for inclusion es.” Happy for her friend, she was also furious doesn’t only mean, for example, bringing in at the gender — and class — privilege that al- more women, more underprivileged workers, lowed him to go where his fancy took him. “I’ll or differently abled people. It also means never be able to do anything like that,” she working with those who have never needed to said, “and it’s so unfair.” be included because they were Of course, it’s wrong to lump always there — the men — and all men together and all men are teaching them to deal with new neither privileged, nor leisured, lives, new needs and the transforWhy would it come as nor publishers who don’t see mations that will inevitably hapa surprise then, if the their female colleagues! Nor is it pen at the workplace. men thus fed and true to say that all men see all This isn’t to say things can’t favoured, grew up to women as sex objects or as infechange. As the unfortunate inciassume women rior beings. Human behaviour dent of gang-rape in December were nothing? cannot be separated from its 2012 showed, sometimes it takes context, and in India, we live in a brutal act like that to shake up such a hierarchised society that something in society. In the mass discrimination exists, at every protests that followed, men and level, even between men. boys joined in large numbers.

But maleness, the assertion of masculinity, And ever since then, in Delhi at least, more runs through so much male behaviour, and and more men seem to be concerned and inparticularly in India. When we were children, volved in what are seen as ‘women’s issues’. my grandmother, who lived with us, would Perhaps it’s time once again to recognise that routinely feed all the goodies to my brothers, age-old truth, that we’re all in this together leaving little for the girls. Why would it come and unless both men and women work toas a surprise then, if the men thus fed and fa- gether to transform their world, change isn’t voured, down generations, grew up to assume going to happen. women were nothing? @blink@thehindu.co.in So many workplaces these days pride them-

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An uneasy privilege Men have it easier? Certainly not all men, and certainly not at all times

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he urban heterosexual male is the most privileged demographic in India. In a culture that is acutely tuned to favouring the male of the species, the fact that the boy child starts off with every possible advantage is beyond debate or discussion. And as he grows up and becomes a “regular” man, one who doesn’t bring dishonour to the family by choosing to love people of his own gender, all is well. His mother thinks he is the greatest thing in the universe, his father might not say that out loud, but out of earshot would update his friends and family about every little accomplishment. The unabashed privilege of the urban heterosexual man is one area that even popular culture finds hard to creatively interpret. Think back to every Hindi film mum lovingly feeding her son — whether he is eight or 48 — and every Hindi film girlfriend or wife who unquestioningly adores her man. Yet despite, and in fact because of this support and all-round admiration, all is not well in the lives men lead.

Let’s start at the beginning. What is a boy to become? Why, an engineer or a doctor, of course. Maninder Singh grew up in strife-torn Jammu and Kashmir, and all he dreamed of becoming was a cricketer like Waqar Younis. “I remember my maternal aunt always telling my mother, ‘Engineering mein bahut scope hai’

and that she should start saving for my ‘donaSingh is among a large majority of Indian tion’ for some engineering college in Bengalu- men who are forced into technical education ru (Kashmir had just one engineering college because it is more important for them to be with less than 100 seats and an entrance test to employable than enjoy what they do. When I qualify). There were all these success stories of posted on Twitter that I was looking to speak relatives who had completed their engineer- to men like that, I was flooded with responses. ing degrees and doing well. From Class 7, engi- One wise tweeter merely said, “visit Chennai”. neering and medicine were the In fact, it’s true of any city. Even as only options I thought were the economy develops, and more available. Arts, commerce and jobs become available in every literature were alien worlds to kind of sector, there is no let-up me,” he says. True to script, in the pressure on the urban InMany Indian men are Singh went to engineering coldian boy to pursue one of two enforced into technical lege, but knew within two trenched educational choices. education because months that he was in the Parents want safety. And security. employment is the wrong place.

Whether the demand stems from main concern “But how could I have said a “we know the world better” phithis to my parents, who had losophy or from a more angular planned for my engineering and selfish concern of raising a education all those years? I nevchild who is financially solvent er had the aptitude and struggled through the to look after them in their old age. course, eventually passing with a paltry 52 per cent,” he says. Fortunately for Singh, the strug- Two in the family gle with engineering helped him figure out Sachin Swamy and his sister, Srilatha, grew up his real strengths. Two years after he gradu- in Bengaluru in the ’80s. “Apparently, I disated, he joined a communications course and mantled my father’s radio when I was five and enjoys what he does now. “I discovered my put it together again. The sound, post this surlove for poetry during my engineering and, gery, was far better than it had ever been. So hopefully, will one day come out with a book not only was it assumed that I would become or two,” he says. an engineer, my parents talked about it like I

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Man in the mirror

nadya lukic/shutterstock.com

The market for male grooming products is ₹4,300 crore and growing

M

anish Gupta travels a lot as an ex- were using products marketed to women. (Consumer Product Division) of Himalaya ecutive in a multinational firm. Sensing an opportunity, in 2005 Emami was Drug Company.

Alongside a universal adapter ready with the world’s first fairness cream for and shaving kit, his travel bag is men — Fair and Handsome. The product is a Male market needs never without his favourite fairness cream market leader in the category today and gave Himalaya entered the men’s face wash segand face wash. He has been hooked to Ema- an impetus to what was hitherto a latent mar- ment in June last year after it undertook a study to find out why the face mi’s fairness cream for men since 2005, when ket for manufacturers — male wash market was stagnating. he was still in college. His made-for-men face grooming products.

“We wanted to understand why Research firm Euromonitor wash brand keeps changing as he loves to try there were no new users in the pegs the men’s grooming marthe many new ones flooding the market. face-wash category, where Gaurav Batra’s addiction to fairness cream ket at ₹4,300 crore by March Goenka calls this the growth had slid from 33-35 per is fairly recent. He began buying a men’s fair- 2015. This includes men’s toile‘legitimisation of cent to 18 per cent,” he says. ness cream after fights with his wife over emp- tries at ₹2,500 crore (including men’s grooming’ The company realised that tying her tube of cream. His colleagues were deodorants at ₹1,800 crore), men hesitated to use the existing candid about using men’s toiletries and that while hair, face and skin care face-wash products as their made it easy for Batra to jump on to the band- command a relatively modest needs were different — oil, dirt wagon. “It is no longer ‘unmanly’ to use ₹700 crore. Together they concreams and lotions. We also want to look stitute about one-sixth of the market for the and pollution were bigger worries for them, good, much like women,” he says. unisex category. Marketers have been quick to whereas the women’s products were geared towards acne control.

Consumers like Batra and Gupta are rein- spot the potential here.

With its men-specific focus, not surprising“There is much more opportunity to have forcing what Emami discovered nearly a decade ago. In a 2004 study on the use of fairness newer products in these categories. The mar- ly, Himalaya has already captured 7 per cent of creams in India, Emami found that more than ket is definitely under-penetrated,” says Vi- the ₹157-crore men’s face-wash category withSo special? When it comes to marriage, men often suffer one-fourth from an illusion choice andwere are forced to and followthey the family’s am faruqui ofofthe users men, neetdiktats Jain, General Manager-Marketing in six months of launch. The face wash seg-

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Just do IIT A crack at the highly competitive entrance examination to the prestigious Indian Institute of Technology is nonnegotiable for boys in many families. The scene at the examination centres in Hyderabad nagara gopal; and (inset) Bengaluru k murali kumar

ment itself grew 57 per cent from ₹100 crore in FY 2014. “In the past few months, many brands have entered this segment,” Jain adds.

Emami director Mohan Goenka says the men’s grooming segment is one of the fastest growing in the personal-care space, consistently outperforming women’s categories.

The categories are expanding too — deodorants, face wash and hair care (shampoos and hair-styling gels).

The Emami men’s range now includes the HE deodorant brand and the Fair and Handsome fairness face wash, which was launched last year. Himalaya is readying more variants for its face wash besides entering newer segments, the details of which it is not ready to share yet.

Goenka believes the factors powering this emerging market are both personal and economical in nature.

Ready to groom Indian men today are increasingly conscious about their appearance. Additionally, young men in college are typically more willing to experiment with their looks. “Among college-going students, the desire to be seen as being on the cutting edge of trends and fashion, besides the classical need to be attractive to the opposite sex, is now finding expression hadadoption,” some kind ‘gift’,” through new product saysofGoenka.

Swamy says. consumer His life from Agrees Himalaya’s Jain: “Our reClass 5 tofound 12 wasthat a blur of search for men’s toiletries 68-70 science tuitions, later per cent of students are buying from us, augand mented with the 15-24 age group is buying 80tutorial per centfor of the IIT-JEE examinations. our products. It supports our hypotheses that Srilatha, in the meanwhile, today’s youngster is not afraid of saying ‘I use “merrily read her novels, met a grooming product’.” movies…”

Goenka with calls friends, this thewatched ‘legitimisation of their long parents that Srimen’sWhile grooming’, seeninsisted as an embarrasslatha too should pursue a postgraduate deing activity kept under wraps.

“This has been gree, what studied was up to her. boosted byshe celebrity associations andSwamy endordidn’t make it to IIT.and “Never mind,” his fasements of brands, a high levelsaid of media ther, “take another only on it.” exposure, besides year the and risefocus of aspirational That meant intense coaching, 20 hours of brands in the men’s grooming space,” he says. study day, and an entire angle, household focuseda Seena from a consumer Jain senses on ‘not disturbing him’.metrosexual The second attempt growing desire to look as more failed too. His father paid up and himtravto a and more men are working withsent MNCs, private engineering collegethis in the city.in “I think elling abroad and seeing trend other Icountries. have lived“It feeling I was supported a failure since I was has been

by Bolly18,” Swamy says. He worked hard, did reasonawood.

The acceptance of being metrosexual is bly engineering verywell highinnow,” he adds.college and got a job with IT company. the other Fairanand HandsomeSrilatha, gained on a handsome hand, chosewhen to graduate in nutrition scimarketfirst share Bollywood heartthrob ences and then economics.

She next Shah Rukh Khanshifted was itsto brand ambassador.

Toapplied US universities for her post-graduaday it istothe market leader in the category, tion and moved there. She is employed with a large consulting company and, according to Swamy, “is super-happy with her life, because she is doing what she wants and there was no strain on her at any stage.” He himself is “okay, fine like”. “The pressure to get into IIT was too much. Now I don’t believe in all this ‘hard work is enough’ bullshit. I just do what I can do. If my career works out, great, else this is all I have anyway,” he says.

Vineet Jain, GM-Marketing, Himalaya Drug Company

Mohan Goenka, Director, Emami

commanding more than 50 per cent of it. Ni- split is skewed 90:10 towards urban areas. But vea too got noticed with actor Arjun Rampal the growth is equal — at around 55 per cent. as the face of its men’s range. “Our association “I don’t see any efforts by manufacturers to with Arjun has given us a lot of eyeballs and is drive rural growth. Rural consumers have hisworking well for us,” says Sunil Gadgil, mar- torically been looking for sachets and small keting director at Nivea India. tubes, and prefer basic benefit products. We someone within the community,” says.

In the absence of the first-moverhe advantage, house. they had a baby.

They being discussed still seeThen men’s grooming products tarThree years ago, Garg fell in love with a will girl endlessly Nivea believes its well-rounded portfolio about how raisebecause the childurban and mugeted at higher valuetopacks Inand they decided to marry after persuade the consumer to dating for a tually decided it would be best if the wife dia offers lower cost took of year.

HeNivea told his parents.

She checked all the a break for a couple choose Men over others. of years.and When the baby ardistribution higher sales,” boxes — samerange community and caste, looked rived, they figured Its products from dark they needed a safer, more Jain says. good, had a really good job,and was a couple of spacious car. So spot reduction moisturiser they And thisupgraded. is possibly When where the There fastturned three, years younger. for a minor fact is achild oil-control facePerfect! wash toExcept deodortheylies decided hecategory must have challenge for this of for So they — sheand was married minutedemand ants shower gels.previously. “Thegrowing a sibling. had another baby. Now the products.

Devangshu Dutta, men’s fairness cream they heard that, theyas said no. My father left the “We see ourselves a challenkids are six and three years old and expenses chief executive at Third Eyesight, in rural areas room. mother first market,” screamed, then cried. ger in My a fast-growing have shot up says — school lessons, that fees, the violin biggest barriertento No saysmatter Gadgil.how hard I tried, they wouldn’t nis racquets. adoption Although Gupta’s wife grooming mulls getof male change their minds,” he says. Garg pointed to ting back to products work, sheby hasthe lostmasses interestis in a the their consent Mass of buyers to his sister’s inter-religious full-time job.price She ispoint. toying“These with the of are idea discremarriage.

“My mother said my sister went to running a small The market today is no longer business with you friends, tionary products; can but cut someone else’s house, butasshe wouldn’t wel- isn’t confined to urban India, rural consumers yeteasily.” what she wants to do. backsure usage come a divorcee as a daughter-in-law,” Garg are slowly, but surely, opening their purse Last Guptastill gota aprice-conscious new boss andmarhis Indiayear, is largely says.

Hefor waspersonal completely He did“The haverural the workplace strings caretorn. products. hell. feel conket. “So thesuddenly ability of abecame company to “I provide affinances walk out early of home. six stantly market istostill in the stagesBut of after penetraI wasusage due forina profordablebelittled optionsat office. can drive this months of trying convincehigher his parents, tion compared to atorelatively urban motion last I didn’t get it. My bonus was category,” heyear, adds.

Garg finally decided to early breaksigns up with his fian- arbitrarily penetration.

However, of adoption slashed half.ofAnd in the middle As of now, the by usage male grooming cée “I have always been told that Irural was of are instead. all around: in men’s fairness creams, all this, is I have two fat EMIs to pay off.

Just products dominated by higher income to be my support.significantly That India hasparents’ been growing faster groups. “Butwaking up every day and the the absolute number of these it wasurban my responsibility to look Goenka. than India,” says Emami’s of bigger going into office terconsumers isthought small. The opportunity is after them in their old age. fig- 15 per cent lower down rorises Himalaya’s Jain says onlyIabout me mostYou mornings. the pyramid. need toI have ured couldn’tfor letunisex them down at of theI market face washes is in rural products thattoare tellmass myself and to youbreathe, need to force have the end, price India.

In no thematter case ofwhat men’s faceIwash too, the let myselfand to get out of he says. multiple brands inbed,” the same catI couldn’t my products pay,” he says.

Quitting his job before getting egory,” parents down, no says Dutta.

He married a girl his parents another that’schallenge equally good (or Gadgil that the is really matter what price I adds chose for him and it was alright better) is notmale an option.

Heneeds. is, afabout offering the Indian what he had to pay for the first few months. But one terneeds all, the earning member.

His grooming aresole different from those evening, when he was home The officeskincare has seenistwo structural of females, for whom already a part alone, he found himself calling changes in have the apast year and of daily routine and they higher level of his former lover. They chatted he was lucky tofor be engagementboth withtimes the products.

Mennot look and he realised how much he missed her. He laid off. “Ithat don’t know the“There wordsisto describe products have utility. still a lot of began visiting her at home — each time, he my utter hatred these for my job and my intense scope to address needs,” he adds. told himself, it would be the last. Now, a year gratitude that I still haveinit,”convincing he says. Gupta Jain sees a challenge men later, he still sees her at least a couple of times mentions his users officetotroubles toface his wash. wife, but who are soap switch to But Marry right a week. “I know this is wrong. Many lives are not often or history in enough detail tocare, alarm her.

“I going by the of personal that may Gaurav Garg (name changed on request) also getting damaged. But even today, between giv- know menall who have beenThe laidgrowth off butofprenot prove that tough. dehas a sibling story to tell. One in which his par- ing my parents a false sense of security and be- tended to for go instance, to work is fortelling nearly— athe year.

They odorants, male deents’ obsessive involvement in the boy child ing brave enough to live life on my terms, I would leave home the morning, dressed for odorant market is in around ₹1,800 crore today, (as compared to the benign indifference to choose the former.” office, and sit incrore a coffee shop and product. then go while it’s ₹1,000 for the female what their girl child does) has ended up “ruinhome.

Slowly,see some EMIs get missed, the calls Marketers no reason why this trend caning his life”. Garg is a 32-year-old chartered ac- Equated monthly injury start coming, in you get desperate.

I’m skin thankful not continue the case of hair and care countant working in a multinational Unlike Garg, Raghav Gupta (name changed) to not be there.

At least that’s what I tell myself products.

“A lot of consumer research has corporation in Gurgaon. His sister, a year ol- had no trouble convincing his parents about each amthe humiliated at work somebeentime doneIin deo category and over that is why der, decided to marry her boyfriend when she what he wanted to study or whom he wanted thing or theare other,” companies ablehe tosays. target barriers and fill was 25. That created havoc, mostly because the to marry. He is an MBA, “by choice”, and mar- theGupta applying for jobs. he manufacis senior, needisgap.

As more and But more boyfriend belonged to a different religion. ried his batchmate from business school. They so opportunities arecategories, hard to come Hegaps will tures focus on other findby. need “There were all kinds of drama and threats. My both had great jobs and spent the first eight hang on,them, no matter provocation.

“It’s and fill otherwhat malethe grooming products mother refused to eat for a week, my father years living it up. Three holidays a year, tickets very myopic for people to saysays menJain. have it easy. will also proliferate rapidly,” didn’t talk to my sister for nearly a month,” to the best gigs in town, big cars, fancy restau- Certainly, not all all men.

Andtocertainly, all It’s, obviously, down knowingnot what Garg recalls. Eventually, the parents came rants, the works. When they began to tire of the says. Touché mentime,” want,he really. around. course, itmore was athan smaller wedding having using done it all,cream theywere decided tobetry the Fairer sex“Of A decade ago, one-fourth of the consumers fairness found to men, rashmivenugopal pratap than it off would have been had she for married afp/raveendran sparking a new and fast-growing market male grooming productsbits grown-up of life. First, they bought a veena

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Mind the gap Nishi tribesmen on their way to a local market, as children follow behind in Seppa, East Kameng district of Arunachal Pradesh. There are few surface roads in this area, which remain cut off during floods and landslides

Ashes to ashes Bones of mithuns — also known as the ‘cattle of mountaa outside of a Nishi house. The mithun is the costliest and largest livestock t

Strike a pose A Nishi tribesman stands in front of his house, which is decorated with the bones and skulls of various wild animals, and shows the prestige the family enjoys in the village

All in the family The Nishi family houses are identifiable by their endlesss kitchens. Some houses have as many as 10 kitchens

On target The Nishis are a hunter-gatherer tribe; here a tribesman holds a rifle of the Indian Army during an arms display, near the Indo-China border

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aains’ — decorate the tthe Nishis rear

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Feathers and bones Where the women raise the village

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he Nishis are one of the largest tribes in Arunachal Pradesh. Racially members of the Mongoloid group, their main profession is still fishing, hunting and slash-and-burn agriculture. Like in many rural communities — especially tribal ones — women do much of the labour, from clearing the fields to harvesting.

With the community dependent on forest produce like wild fruits and vegetables, bamboo and roots, the women spend most of their time foraging as they are the primary food gatherers. With rampant deforestation and soil erosion, they are forced to venture further and further into the forests. And this often takes three to four hours of their daily routine.

Water collecting is another task which is seen as exclusive to women.

This brings us to the question, what do the men do? While they leave much of the heavy lifting to women, they can take up to eight wives. The entire family stays under one roof, but each wife has her own hearth. Often 30 to 60 family members live in one house.

Members of the tribe, both men and women, are recognised by their elaborate outfits.

The hornbill beak was once a favourite accoutrement but its endangered status means that the practice is discouraged and men and women must now preen with fake ones. ritu raj konwar

s length and numerous

Mirror, mirror on the wall Men wear their hair tied tightly in a knot at the forehead and held with a metallic skewer. They also wear cane helmets, decorated with a feather and a fake hornbill beak

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An uneasy privilege Men have it easier? Certainly not all men, and certainly not at all times

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he urban heterosexual male is the most privileged demographic in India. In a culture that is acutely tuned to favouring the male of the species, the fact that the boy child starts off with every possible advantage is beyond debate or discussion. And as he grows up and becomes a “regular” man, one who doesn’t bring dishonour to the family by choosing to love people of his own gender, all is well. His mother thinks he is the greatest thing in the universe, his father might not say that out loud, but out of earshot would update his friends and family about every little accomplishment. The unabashed privilege of the urban heterosexual man is one area that even popular culture finds hard to creatively interpret. Think back to every Hindi film mum lovingly feeding her son — whether he is eight or 48 — and every Hindi film girlfriend or wife who unquestioningly adores her man. Yet despite, and in fact because of this support and all-round admiration, all is not well in the lives men lead.

Let’s start at the beginning. What is a boy to become? Why, an engineer or a doctor, of course. Maninder Singh grew up in strife-torn Jammu and Kashmir, and all he dreamed of becoming was a cricketer like Waqar Younis. “I remember my maternal aunt always telling my mother, ‘Engineering mein bahut scope hai’

and that she should start saving for my ‘donaSingh is among a large majority of Indian tion’ for some engineering college in Bengalu- men who are forced into technical education ru (Kashmir had just one engineering college because it is more important for them to be with less than 100 seats and an entrance test to employable than enjoy what they do. When I qualify). There were all these success stories of posted on Twitter that I was looking to speak relatives who had completed their engineer- to men like that, I was flooded with responses. ing degrees and doing well. From Class 7, engi- One wise tweeter merely said, “visit Chennai”. neering and medicine were the In fact, it’s true of any city. Even as only options I thought were the economy develops, and more available. Arts, commerce and jobs become available in every literature were alien worlds to kind of sector, there is no let-up me,” he says. True to script, in the pressure on the urban InMany Indian men are Singh went to engineering coldian boy to pursue one of two enforced into technical lege, but knew within two trenched educational choices. education because months that he was in the Parents want safety. And security. employment is the wrong place.

Whether the demand stems from main concern “But how could I have said a “we know the world better” phithis to my parents, who had losophy or from a more angular planned for my engineering and selfish concern of raising a education all those years? I nevchild who is financially solvent er had the aptitude and struggled through the to look after them in their old age. course, eventually passing with a paltry 52 per cent,” he says. Fortunately for Singh, the strug- Two in the family gle with engineering helped him figure out Sachin Swamy and his sister, Srilatha, grew up his real strengths. Two years after he gradu- in Bengaluru in the ’80s. “Apparently, I disated, he joined a communications course and mantled my father’s radio when I was five and enjoys what he does now. “I discovered my put it together again. The sound, post this surlove for poetry during my engineering and, gery, was far better than it had ever been. So hopefully, will one day come out with a book not only was it assumed that I would become or two,” he says. an engineer, my parents talked about it like I

Q R

Man in the mirror

nadya lukic/shutterstock.com

The market for male grooming products is ₹4,300 crore and growing

M

anish Gupta travels a lot as an ex- were using products marketed to women. (Consumer Product Division) of Himalaya ecutive in a multinational firm. Sensing an opportunity, in 2005 Emami was Drug Company.

Alongside a universal adapter ready with the world’s first fairness cream for and shaving kit, his travel bag is men — Fair and Handsome. The product is a Male market needs never without his favourite fairness cream market leader in the category today and gave Himalaya entered the men’s face wash segand face wash. He has been hooked to Ema- an impetus to what was hitherto a latent mar- ment in June last year after it undertook a study to find out why the face mi’s fairness cream for men since 2005, when ket for manufacturers — male wash market was stagnating. he was still in college. His made-for-men face grooming products.

“We wanted to understand why Research firm Euromonitor wash brand keeps changing as he loves to try there were no new users in the pegs the men’s grooming marthe many new ones flooding the market. face-wash category, where Gaurav Batra’s addiction to fairness cream ket at ₹4,300 crore by March Goenka calls this the growth had slid from 33-35 per is fairly recent. He began buying a men’s fair- 2015. This includes men’s toile‘legitimisation of cent to 18 per cent,” he says. ness cream after fights with his wife over emp- tries at ₹2,500 crore (including men’s grooming’ The company realised that tying her tube of cream. His colleagues were deodorants at ₹1,800 crore), men hesitated to use the existing candid about using men’s toiletries and that while hair, face and skin care face-wash products as their made it easy for Batra to jump on to the band- command a relatively modest needs were different — oil, dirt wagon. “It is no longer ‘unmanly’ to use ₹700 crore. Together they concreams and lotions. We also want to look stitute about one-sixth of the market for the and pollution were bigger worries for them, good, much like women,” he says. unisex category. Marketers have been quick to whereas the women’s products were geared towards acne control.

Consumers like Batra and Gupta are rein- spot the potential here.

With its men-specific focus, not surprising“There is much more opportunity to have forcing what Emami discovered nearly a decade ago. In a 2004 study on the use of fairness newer products in these categories. The mar- ly, Himalaya has already captured 7 per cent of creams in India, Emami found that more than ket is definitely under-penetrated,” says Vi- the ₹157-crore men’s face-wash category withSo special? When it comes to marriage, men often suffer one-fourth from an illusion choice and were are forced to and followthey the family’s diktats am faruqui ofofthe users men, neet Jain, General Manager-Marketing in six months of launch. The face wash seg-

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Just do IIT A crack at the highly competitive entrance examination to the prestigious Indian Institute of Technology is nonnegotiable for boys in many families. The scene at the examination centres in Hyderabad nagara gopal; and (inset) Bengaluru k murali kumar

ment itself grew 57 per cent from ₹100 crore in FY 2014. “In the past few months, many brands have entered this segment,” Jain adds.

Emami director Mohan Goenka says the men’s grooming segment is one of the fastest growing in the personal-care space, consistently outperforming women’s categories.

The categories are expanding too — deodorants, face wash and hair care (shampoos and hair-styling gels).

The Emami men’s range now includes the HE deodorant brand and the Fair and Handsome fairness face wash, which was launched last year. Himalaya is readying more variants for its face wash besides entering newer segments, the details of which it is not ready to share yet.

Goenka believes the factors powering this emerging market are both personal and economical in nature.

Ready to groom Indian men today are increasingly conscious about their appearance. Additionally, young men in college are typically more willing to experiment with their looks. “Among college-going students, the desire to be seen as being on the cutting edge of trends and fashion, besides the classical need to be attractive to the opposite sex, is now finding expression hadadoption,” some kind ‘gift’,” through new product saysofGoenka.

Swamy says. consumer His life from Agrees Himalaya’s Jain: “Our reClass 5 tofound 12 wasthat a blur of search for men’s toiletries 68-70 science tuitions, later per cent of students are buying from us, augand mented with the 15-24 age group is buying 80 tutorial per centfor of the IIT-JEE examinations. our products. It supports our hypotheses that Srilatha, in the meanwhile, today’s youngster is not afraid of saying ‘I use “merrily read her novels, met a grooming product’.” movies…”

Goenka with calls friends, this thewatched ‘legitimisation of their long parents that Srimen’sWhile grooming’, seeninsisted as an embarrasslatha too should pursue a postgraduate deing activity kept under wraps.

“This has been gree, what studied was up to her. boosted byshe celebrity associations and Swamy endordidn’t make it to IIT.and “Never mind,” his fasements of brands, a high levelsaid of media ther, “take another only on it.” exposure, besides year the and risefocus of aspirational That in meant intense coaching, 20 hours of brands the men’s grooming space,” he says. study day, and an entire angle, household focuseda Seena from a consumer Jain senses on ‘not disturbing him’.metrosexual The second as attempt growing desire to look more failed too. His father paid up and himtravto a and more men are working withsent MNCs, private engineering collegethis in the city.in “I other think elling abroad and seeing trend Icountries. have lived“It feeling I was supported a failure since I was has been

by Bolly18,” Swamy says. He worked hard, did reasonawood.

The acceptance of being metrosexual is bly engineering verywell highinnow,” he adds. college and got a job with IT company. the other Fairanand HandsomeSrilatha, gained on a handsome hand, chose to graduate in nutrition scimarketfirst share when Bollywood heartthrob ences and then economics.

She next Shah Rukh Khanshifted was itsto brand ambassador.

Toapplied US universities for her post-graduaday it istothe market leader in the category, tion and moved there. She is employed with a large consulting company and, according to Swamy, “is super-happy with her life, because she is doing what she wants and there was no strain on her at any stage.” He himself is “okay, fine like”. “The pressure to get into IIT was too much. Now I don’t believe in all this ‘hard work is enough’ bullshit. I just do what I can do. If my career works out, great, else this is all I have anyway,” he says.

Vineet Jain, GM-Marketing, Himalaya Drug Company

Mohan Goenka, Director, Emami

commanding more than 50 per cent of it. Ni- split is skewed 90:10 towards urban areas. But vea too got noticed with actor Arjun Rampal the growth is equal — at around 55 per cent. as the face of its men’s range. “Our association “I don’t see any efforts by manufacturers to with Arjun has given us a lot of eyeballs and is drive rural growth. Rural consumers have hisworking well for us,” says Sunil Gadgil, mar- torically been looking for sachets and small keting director at Nivea India. tubes, and prefer basic benefit products. We someone within the community,” says.

In the absence of the first-moverhe advantage, house. they had a baby.

They being discussed still seeThen men’s grooming products tarThree years ago, Garg fell in love with a will girl endlessly Nivea believes its well-rounded portfolio about value how topacks raisebecause the childurban and mugeted at higher Inand they decided to marry after persuade the consumer to dating for a tually decided it would be best if the wife dia offers lower cost took of year.

HeNivea told his parents.

She checked all the a break for a couple choose Men over others. of years.

When the baby ardistribution and higher sales,” boxes — samerange community and caste, looked rived, they figured Its products from dark they needed a safer, more Jain says. good, had a really good job,and was a couple of spacious car. So spot reduction moisturiser Andthey thisupgraded. is possibly When where the There fastturned challenge years younger. for a minor fact is achild oil-control facePerfect! wash toExcept deodorthree, theylies decided hecategory must have for this of for So products.

— she was married minutedemand ants and shower gels.previously. “Thegrowing a sibling. they had another baby. Now the Devangshu Dutta, men’s fairness cream they heard that, theyas said no. My father left the “We see ourselves a challenkids are six and three years old and expenses chief executive at Third Eyesight, in rural areas room. mother first market,” screamed, then cried. ger in My a fast-growing have shot upsays — school violin lessons, that fees, the biggest barriertento No saysmatter Gadgil. how hard I tried, they wouldn’t nis racquets. adoption Although Gupta’s wife grooming mulls getof male change their minds,” he says. Garg pointed to ting back to products work, sheby hasthe lostmasses interest is in thea their consent Mass of buyers to his sister’s inter-religious full-time job.price She ispoint. toying“These with the of are idea discremarriage.

“My mother said my sister went to running a small The market today is no longer business withyou friends, tionary products; can but cut someone else’s house, butasshe wouldn’t wel- isn’t confined to urban India, rural consumers yet what she wants to do. backsure usage easily.” come a divorcee as a daughter-in-law,” Garg are slowly, but surely, opening their purse Last Guptastill gota price-conscious a new boss andmarhis Indiayear, is largely says.

Hefor waspersonal completely He did“The have the workplace strings caretorn. products. rural hell. feel conket. “So thesuddenly ability of abecame company to “I provide affinances walk out early of home. six stantly market istostill in the stagesBut of after penetraoffice.drive I wasusage due forina profordablebelittled optionsat can this months of trying convincehigher his parents, tion compared to atorelatively urban motion last I didn’t get it. My bonus was category,” heyear, adds.

Garg finally decided toearly breaksigns up with his fian- arbitrarily penetration.

However, of adoption slashed half.ofAnd in the middle As of now, the by usage male grooming cée instead.

“I have always been told that rural I was of are all around: in men’s fairness creams, all this, isI have two fat EMIs to pay off.

Just products dominated by higher income to be my support.significantly That India hasparents’ been growing faster groups. “Butwaking up every day and the the absolute number of these it wasurban my responsibility to look Goenka. than India,” says Emami’s of bigger going into office terconsumers isthought small. The opportunity is after them in their old age. fig- 15 per cent lower down rorises Himalaya’s Jain says only Iabout me most mornings. the pyramid.

You need toI have ured couldn’tfor letunisex them down at of theI market face washes is in rural products thattoare tellmass myself and to youbreathe, need to force have the end, India.

In no thematter case ofwhat men’sprice face Iwash too, the multiple myselfand to get out of he says. brands in bed,” the same catI couldn’t let my products pay,” he says.

Quitting his job before getting egory,” parents down, nosays Dutta.

He married a girl his parents another that’s equally good (or Gadgil that the challenge is really matter what price I adds chose for him and it was alright better) is notmale an option.

Heneeds. is, afabout offering the Indian what he had to pay for the first few months. But one terneeds all, the earning member.

His grooming aresole different from those evening, when he was home The officeskincare has seenistwo structural of females, for whom already a part alone, he found himself calling changes in have the apast year and of daily routine and they higher level of his former lover. They chatted he was lucky tofor be engagement both with times the products.

Mennot look and he realised how much he missed her. He laid off. “Ithat don’t know the“There wordsisto describe products have utility. still a lot of began visiting her at home — each time, he my utter hatred these for my job and my intense scope to address needs,” he adds. told himself, it would be the last. Now, a year gratitude I still haveinit,”convincing he says. Gupta Jain seesthat a challenge men later, he still sees her at least a couple of times mentions his users officetotroubles toface his wash. wife, but who are soap switch to But Marry right a week. “I know this is wrong. Many lives are not often or history in enough detail tocare, alarm her.

“I going by the of personal that may Gaurav Garg (name changed on request) also getting damaged. But even today, between giv- know menall who beenThe laid off butofprenot prove thathave tough. growth dehas a sibling story to tell. One in which his par- ing my parents a false sense of security and be- tended tofor goinstance, to work is fortelling nearly a year.

They odorants, — the male deents’ obsessive involvement in the boy child ing brave enough to live life on my terms, I would leave home the morning, dressed for odorant market is in around ₹1,800 crore today, (as compared to the benign indifference to choose the former.” office, and sit incrore a coffee shop and product. then go while it’s ₹1,000 for the female what their girl child does) has ended up “ruinhome.

Slowly,see some EMIs get missed, the calls Marketers no reason why this trend caning his life”. Garg is a 32-year-old chartered ac- Equated monthly injury start coming, in you get desperate.

I’m skin thankful not continue the case of hair and care countant working in a multinational Unlike Garg, Raghav Gupta (name changed) to not be there.

At least that’s what I tell myself products.

“A lot of consumer research has corporation in Gurgaon. His sister, a year ol- had no trouble convincing his parents about each am humiliated at work over is somebeen time doneIin the deo category and that why der, decided to marry her boyfriend when she what he wanted to study or whom he wanted thing or theare other,” companies ablehe to says. target barriers and fill was 25. That created havoc, mostly because the to marry. He is an MBA, “by choice”, and mar- theGupta applying for jobs. hemanufacis senior, needisgap.

As more and But more boyfriend belonged to a different religion. ried his batchmate from business school. They so opportunities arecategories, hard to come Hegaps will tures focus on other findby. need “There were all kinds of drama and threats. My both had great jobs and spent the first eight hang on,them, no matter provocation.

“It’s and fill otherwhat malethe grooming products mother refused to eat for a week, my father years living it up. Three holidays a year, tickets very myopic for people to saysays menJain. have it easy. will also proliferate rapidly,” didn’t talk to my sister for nearly a month,” to the best gigs in town, big cars, fancy restau- Certainly, not all all men.

Andtocertainly, all It’s, obviously, down knowingnot what Garg recalls. Eventually, the parents came rants, the works. When they began to tire of the says. Touché mentime,” want,he really. around. course, was than a smaller wedding havingusing done it all,cream theywere decided tobetry the Fairer sex“Of A decade ago,itmore one-fourth of the consumers fairness found to men, rashmivenugopal pratap than it off would have been had she for married afp/raveendran sparking a new and fast-growing market male grooming productsbits grown-up of life. First, they bought a veena

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The pedicure boys dipankar

Lowest in the pecking order of salons, even the ‘waxing ladies’ rarely cast a friendly eye upon them. Yet a good one, like Elvis, can swing out of the door, groupies (and tips) in tow

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ASARAM BAPU WINS ‘MANLY MAN AWARD’!

am standing outside an exhibition hall in Sonepat, Haryana, one of the manliest cities in the country. The men around me are rugged and upright.

The smell of testosterone hangs heavy in the air. Women are conspicuous by their absence. The atmosphere is grim, but festive.

Little stalls advertise potency pills and chest hair supplements.

I am at the venue of the 2014 Manly Man Awards, jointly promoted by the Macho Men of India and the Society for Protection of Item Numbers. I am late, and the ceremony is over. Most of the audience has gone, chasing after the item girls, but since the girls were in vehicles, and the men were on

ASK ALLY

Ally Subramaniam was born in the Southwest Sundarbans, but was blown away by a cyclone and washed up on the shore near Chennai. He was adopted by a poor Brahmin family from Tirupur. He can answer all your questions. Just send them to askallysubramaniam@gmail.com

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foot, most of the girls have managed to escape. oori zindagi yeh thode karna hai A mysterious yogi sitting in a hi cordospeaks. this all“The my life)?” ner opens (I’ll his hardly eyes and sayswas Anil*, hunched a pair of competition tough,” heover says, feet, a small, “but, finally,lathered it had to be Asaram Bapu. warm whirlpool swishing underneath them; the Today when we speak of him, we whislack inrespect. his voiceWhen belying theare deftness peroftopride show boys of born, his hands, kneading and scrubbing, we place our hands gently on filing and clipping with the single-mindedness their little foreheads, and say, ‘O vats! of a professional.

“Gharwale tohAsaram!’” samajhte hain May you grow up to be an main“It hairstylist (mychoice,” family thinks seems a hoon strange I say, I’m a hairstylist)” a charade he’s up since he hesitantly,—“Should it not bekept someone walked as a pedicurist at a beauty parlour in morein muscular?” south Delhi. isFive years on, faith “Muscle maya,” says thehis yogi.

“Allunwavering, he mind. says someday heiswill be the guy is in the The mind the essence with the swagger and the streaked hair, blowing smoke rings on the pavement outside, when he’s not shampoo boys three around earordering Ally, for the past or trimmingmonths, an AliyaIcut into shape. have been stalking a Until then, cultural avergirlany in residue college, of yeta she has not sion to touching feet, fallen in loveespecially with me. of Amwomen, I domust be set aside to save and scrounge, and ing something wrong? payRegards, for a hairstyling at ₹80,000, Surendracourse Kumar,that, Kanpur costs 10 times his salary. In a country where Dear Surendra, pairIfchuna (touching feet) can be both a sign you have not been pepper-sprayed yet, of deference andguardedly a markeroptimistic. of ‘low class’, you can be Dueor to at least class or position than the person sucha technology, todaylower romance is sufferwhose feetyou you’re to touch, ing. Have triedbending singing?over In cinema, yourespect is hard-won forhero pedicurists.

Scrubbing will notice that the is not only stalkdead metal foot ing, skin he iswith alsoasinging.

By filer, now,and youcountermust ing any her suggestion ‘backwardness’, Anil, know walking ofroute well. Position whose farmer-father leftnear Garhwal to set up a yourself strategically a lamppost. tailoring in the he’s will “man Swingingunit from thisplains, while claim you sing enough to touch a woman’s Askand him demonstrate both romantic feet”. ability how he’ll introduce to his future girlfphysical fitness. Orhimself you could buy a BMW. riend or wife though, andfuture he says,mother unblinking, Remember this is the of “Hairstylist, aur kya else)?” your children.

No (what expense is too much. If your budget is tight, try chloroform, but owest in the order of salonsafter — unremember notpecking to smell it yourself less youin count the whogenuine, clean and purchase, order to‘helpers’, assess if it’s swab, and rushrender in withyou hotunconscious. towels at everyas this could If one’s andiscall — eventry the ‘waxingsomeladies’ nonebeck of this working, stalking rarely friendly body cast else,ain such aeye wayupon that the she pedicurist. can also Yet, time, a good likeofElvis, see.inSometimes, as aone, result this, can theyswing beout of jealous, the door, groupies (and tips) in tow. come leading to desired result.

Some mayaffectionately, even brag about Yours Allythe magic touch — a euphemism for the orgasm they trigger in a few ladies, dupatta unruffled, ankles exposed.

“P D

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The first footstep Pedicurists are SHOVON CHOWDHURY is often biding before chief Truthdigger and time author theyAuthority can breach the of The Competent hierarchies of a salon and become a k ananthan hairstylist No longer can husbands come back from a

of manliness. When the divine Asaram was arrested, and subjected to hard day at work and tell their wives, “Sorry, In urban, business-like where pedi- dear, potency test, did heDelhi, shrink fromahis I have headache.”

“When divine Asaure), he’saraising his own family in the Capital curist responsibility? is practically No, genderless — the although was in the athana,” theirAtwives say, he rose to oc- ram and driving new bike.

33, hewill is already a women preferWith the the powerful male “did casion. forces strokes of law inofhot he say— he“About had a headache?’ veteran 20 years ago, when I arrived handspursuit, over the with light caress women ped- “So thea decision was ₹10 unanimous?”

I ask.

Arnab of baying for— ahis here, haircut cost or ₹12; a generous tip icure is a service, says environment Priyanka Singh, “Not blood, in thereally, unhealthy at all,” says thethen yogi,was “Competition was ₹2.

All I wanted to make that exmarketing at Geetanjali, chainthe of sa- wastrareally of a director police station, faced awith Katju narrowly ₹2 andtough. send itJustice home to my parents.” lons that started over two decades agoonly in the missed out, for saying that unmarried threat of interrogation, assisted at another favourite in Green then sleepy neighbourhood Green by a junior policeman,ofstill he Park was in womenacksuffer fromold psychological prob- Park, some remember a time when were the pedisouth able Delhi, a beehive beauty parlours tonow perform.

Thatof too, at such an lems. Ajay Devgn and Sakshi Maharaj cureplaced boys sat in wait for customers in the nofor men and women.

“They know what they jointly third.

Unfortunately, Sakshiji advanced age. Sources indicate he is wedding, no-festival air hung are signing says Singh, it helps 63, butup asfor,” we know, age is“Yet often re- could not attend due to aseasons. test tubeThe mishap. with the smell understanding of acetone andofmusty that we don’tinhire rookies anymore.”

Unlike As heavy duced India to prolong working a result of incorrect andprocess, the onlyhe time plastic tubs the ‘waxing ladies’, many of whom must over- thetowels, life. This makes his achievement even test tube hasthe sustained mi- got a was when a customer’s feet were lowcome their distaste for wax at first, norrinse more creditable.

HeBrazilian is an inspiration. injuries.” male pedicurists rarely flinch. Coveted by all ered into them. At a spruced up Meghna, however, ‘clients’ not customers (like but the ‘Saudi ladies’ (an umsalon, not beauty parlour) await brella term for women in their turn on plush leatherite abayas), Singh says, “after a seats on a busy weekend. Young while, the men thrive on compliUnlike the ‘waxing Rahul*, with rolled-up sleeves ments and repeat customers.” ladies’, who must and a tattooed arm, stands out in Brought into the fold by a overcome their his spiked, bleached hair — a pasfriend or neighbour in the trade, distaste for Brazilian sive-aggressive avowal of his ‘seto the unlettered jobseeker a wax at first, male cret’ ambition. A rebellion beauty parlour is what a call cenpedicurists rarely against the strict hierarchies or tre is to a fresh graduate without flinch ‘posts’ at work. A dismissal of his a ‘proper’ white-collar job — a identity anofAligarhi stopgap arrangement that, after n news described as ‘inevitable’ by his show that money is the as root all evil!”presswala’s son, the whosubject, once tilled the fields a point, can cease to be one. father-in-law, a 41-year-old govern“Ever since he raised she had with his father.

Some like Dinesh*, a chatty in midand introspective,” exment schoolteacher Ludhiana ran become moody Primed as he is to“She bestwas hisbeating fate, Rahul dle-aged pedicure ‘boy’ who as a fa- plained a neighbour. himis not away from home, afterstarted his repeated a hairdresser therless learn to work the waiting for his employers requestsschool to havedropout, three more children were up or more often ustad to spot his flair like Sah.she Or counting system, than used to. pendenied giving by his out wife.numbers Sources to saycustomers, matters nies to fund an education like Anil.

He is using identifying and classifying peopletrying by their took an ugly turn after he started to Conjugal relations and fraught family, and biding clothes, tonality, levels and proclivity his shears on friends became with creep up on herdecibel unexpectedly, often nails, trimming — towhile tip —she all was this cooking. before they have settled into his time by buffing suspicion.

He sharedcuticles stato hisshowing enterprise massaging and the “His knock-off and picked up a well- and thanks sense la-Z-Boys of duty was very tistics the—upcoming shampooing hair as well. Work is manly — the thumbed strong,” Harper’s said hisBazaar father.to flip through. demographic challenge, sometimes act ofpie working to his Others Ganga “He hadlike only twoSagar Sah from Madhuba- using charts, crucial but it was as ifyet sheunformed was identity.

So whatconcerned.” if he’s grown up with the idea nichildren, go further.

Grandson of a minor goldsmith, not even slightly and he beauty feminine.

So what if thethe girls at his family’s fallen on a train of Three daysasafter his disappearance, felt he was notfortune put him contributworkare payyet him no an attention. what if he has toing Delhi, sufficiently. where he started Personally, out as a helperIat police to file FIR. “WeSo are hoping touch another’s feet.

Defiant, he says, “Kyun, Geetanjali worked hisdebacle. way up to become blame myand wife for this I had not a fortocompromise,” said their spokesperson. ab have mainrequested sabke sir bhi tohshe chuta hoon (why, hairdresser at their outlet inwho Ambience Mall, “We wanted a daughter-in-law was larger that consider fournow I touch everyone’s well, I?).”

Gurgaon. a celebrity his ownbecause right, Sah children, instead ofhead five,asbut so don’t far she is than myNow son, but my wifeininsisted, (*Names have been changed on request.) has ‘gold’ again — earning anywhere to adjust.” herstruck income was good.

Which just goes tobe- unwilling tween ₹35,000 and ₹75,000 like other hair technicians (he doesn’t reveal the exact fig- soity banerjee

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LUDHIANA HOUSEQ WIFE REFUSES TO HAVE MORE KIDS!

I

The Investigator is a fortnightly round-up of all things droll and newsy. All views are personal. Really personal t@shovonc

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THE CRITICAL ISSUE

Come together, right now Inclusion means teaching men to deal with new lives, new needs and the transformations that will inevitably happen

Romance to bromance While Zanjeer brought the man with a cause to the screen, Dil Chahta Hai was the first movie to make male bonding its peg

Not so angry anymore javed akhtar

Javed Akhtar, a scriptwriter since the ’70s, on the evolution of the Bollywood hero, and how Hindi cinema is still waiting for the next big idea

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ho is a hero? I feel a hero is a In character erful, it could afford certain flaws. This sensipersonification of contempo- When we started writing stories in the ’70s, we bility had come on screen for the first time — rary morality and aspirations. were not that logical or surgical about things. the bond these men shared with each other, Everybody is here Change happens only when meninto and women work together ragu breathing the same air as Your morality turns a But since we rwere the relationship with the mother — it was all character. You make the hero like yourself. So the rest of society, somewhere we were in sync very cool. But cinema has another problem — when you have clear-cut morality, right or with the mood of the country at the time. A lot tremendous inbreeding of ideas. We make ome years a groupthen of us, allhave inde-clearwrong, valid ago or invalid, you trainshas and go on foot and stay cheapYoung placesMan’ been written about thein‘Angry selveswhat on implementing thoseHai two buzz is made. Dil Chahta gave us conthis cool publishers, got together to are cutpendent characters in the stories.

When you and dharamshalas and so on,” she said, There “and are and his socio-political relevance. cepts:guy diversity andquickly, inclusion. there’s little but, very he But became a caricature pool our energies find of col- also muddled about that,and then theways characters take books pictures write andand theses onabout it evenhis in experiencFrance, Califorsenseof of how in these workthat — followed. for inclusion himself the films getlectively muddled.distributing our titles. We es.” Happy forEngland. her friend, she alsoblissfully furious unnia and But wewas were doesn’t only mean, for example, bringing in thoughtThere this would give when us some leverage was a time Devdas was in a hero at theaware gender and class — privilege al- this of —these implications.

Wethat wrote moreMissing women,inmore actionunderprivileged workers, the market. our first five us, all lowed becauseAtthere was ameeting, premium onofself-destruchimsimply to go where hiswe fancy took him.

“I’llan inman because thought it was or differently people.

It uncouth also means Today, I seeabled that the hero is in most women, early were sitting andwasnever tionarrived and some kindand of masochism.

There a teresting be able character. to do anything like that,” she working withfilms. thoseThey who have neverthings neededthat to are popular are saying chatting, for our other colleagues as said, “and timewaiting when the ‘main chup rahoongi’—woman it’s watch so unfair.”

If you films before Zanjeer or Deewar, indecentbe included because they were and rude. I don’t believe that the peoit happened, all — men. arrivesuffer cameinjus- Of you was a hero the The one first whoto would course, will it’s seewrong a kind to of lump an angry, always — the men this — and plethere who are writing or are around minutes after theThere meeting duewhen tice15and sing bhajans. waswas a time all men together all men are young man. and But then that angry teaching them toitdeal performing are with rudenew people, to start. flung open the door the meeting thisHe‘angry young man’ofwould stand up neither privileged, nor leisured, man would sing, dance, rolives,but newsomehow needs andthey the transforthink this is Why would it come as roomagainst in which were sitting, lookedand in, and thewerich and privileged, wax elonor mance publishers who do don’t and also somesee comemations willfeel inevitably hapcool.that They that this shows a surprise then, if the loudly exclaimed, “Oh, nobody’s quent about social injustice.come!” theirdy female colleagues!

Northe is ittimes I am totally convinced scenes.

Those were pen at the as workplace. them liberated. Also, in film afmen thus fed and EveryToday, singlethey one of was aghast, and two of have areusrejected because times true the to say that alltomen all six hero used singsee at least This say things can’t ter isn’t film, to makers are concentratthat no woman favoured, grew up towill us screamed shockisand We didn’t changed.inSociety nowhorror. going through a periwomen as sex or as infe- sing fall for a man because songs, butobjects this man didn’t change. the unfortunate inci- and ing Ason small-towners assume women knowod whether to laugh or is benot offended.

How where our morality very clear and we rior at beings.

Human behaviour all. That made these scripts alof gang-rape in December characters.

Why? Where henothing? has six packs dent‘earthy’ were couldare he not say this?

How it beaspirations that he sim-publiwilling to could own our cannot beunsaleable. separated Itfrom its difmost was very 2012 is showed, sometimes it takesis the the urban hero? Where ply did see us?we are a bit too selfish. So, then, clynot because context, and India, we live in and ficult forin us [Salim Khan a brutal act like that to shake sophisticated, young guyup who is And yet, that is by and largeof theasad reality of what is the definition modern, emposuch him] a hierarchised that to sell the society idea. But we resomething society.moviegoer?

In the mass today’sin biggest Indian menwoman — much theoftime, theyman? just Nowered andofthat a liberal discrimination exists, mained honest andat didevery not force protests that followed, You can’t be a men star and without don’tbody see women. is clear.Or, if they do, it’s in a limited level,the even between men. hero to do something that was out of charboyssome joinedamount in largeofnumbers. vanity. The ‘look at me’ factor way, mainly as sex objects, or otherwise In a film directed

by Yash Chopra — as Jab Tak Butacter. maleness, of masculinity, We didthe notassertion dilute him because of com- And since then, Delhi atmen least,look more hasever to be there.

Butin today the totally somehow lesser beings.

Theheroine idea of says a woman Hai Jaan (2012) — the she’ll get runs mercial throughrequirements. so much malePerhaps behaviour, thatand is why and more menWhen seem to be concerned confused.

I look at today’s and filmsin-and I who can be assertive, who claims andman exercismarried after sleeping with one from evparticularly in India.

When we were children, those movies made an impact and are rememvolved whatshowing are seen off as ‘women’s seeinthem their body,issues’.

I wonder es herery rights simply in does seem to exist. nationality thenot world.

Now this is bravamy grandmother, who lived with us, would Perhaps bered even today. time again recognise that conwhoit’s they areonce doing thistofor.

I am totally This or absence of women evi- routinely do,invisibility but is it empowerment?

At theismoment, feedDil allChahta the goodies to myasbrothers, I rate Hai (2001) a milestone, age-old truth, that allwill in this together vinced that no we’re woman fall for a man bedent you in many ways.male Lastormonth are notdifferent seeing great femaleacharleaving for the girls.

Why would it come andlittle it did affect the way heroes were written.and I cause unlesshe both and women work tohasmen a six-pack.

That cannot be the young colleague, a woman, described to problem me as a surprise acters on screen.

And this is not the if the with menthe thus fedmaterial and fa- that was verythen, impressed raw gether to transform world, these change reason.

So if you their are showing sixisn’t packs to how of happy shecouple was for manbut friend the last ofayears, the of lasthers 15 years. voured, down generations, grew to assume Farhan [Akhtar] showed me.up I had some resergoingthe to women, happen. they are not impressed. Who are who Hindi was taking offistwo months, wander cinema waiting for ato major idea bewomen were about nothing? vations the screenplay and I shared you showing it to then? Are you doing this to through India.

“Heis plans to takeclear-cut buses and cause society not sending messag- So them manywith workplaces days pride him. Hethese accepted a few themand reject- impress other men? @blink@thehindu.co.in es. Today’s contemporary, real and liberated ed the others. But I still think I was right on all man is yet to be seen on screen. counts! But the material was so real and pow- (As told to mohini chaudhuri)

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Becoming a man G

rowing up in Coimbatore district, unlike other girls my age, I was never shy about wearing really short shorts or taking part in a running or cycling race with boys. It wasn’t like I felt odd or anything, I just knew it was how I was.

I have two brothers and a sister, and for the longest time I insisted on wearing my brothers’ clothes rather than my sister’s, and my mother would get very angry.

I have always known my partner G and we have been through everything together. Everyone sensed we were different, but it was a small town and maybe they didn’t know how to react. Our families decided to get us married, even though we were hell bent against it.

After I turned 19, they married me off to a garment contractor in Tiruppur. G was married to someone in the same town. That was the first time I was not in touch with her, not even a letter or phone call for a whole year. I became pregnant against my wishes, and when I went home to my parents, I refused to return to my husband. G and I got back in touch and decided to run away.

Front and centre Rudrakshya, an Odissi ensemble by Guru Bichitrananda Swain, better known for its all-male performances chakra The shyamhari Tamil weekly Kumudam had a story about a lesbian couple in Palakkad who received help from a women’s group after running away from home. We decided to do the same. I had to leave my year-old baby behind because we didn’t know how things would turn out. In Palakkad, the group was helpful and put us in touch with Sangama in Bengaluru, where I now work as an accountant. But not before our families traced us with the help of the police and confined us forcibly at home for n the summer of 1995, Lingaraj Pradhan, rarely come close. In recent years, efforts have paying spectators, a wholesponsors year. and patrons of Even withinthe queer accompanied and encouraged by his also been stepped up to include more male managed to start meeting G women whoI performed. politics, cousin, made his maiden trip to Bhuba- characters on stage. Bichitranandan Swainit is always againdancer after I and tookauthor up a typewritBharatanatyam Tulsi Bathe male-to-female neshwar. He filled the application form and Lingaraj Pradhan’s Odissi group, Ru- drinath mentions ing job near her We an incident thathouse. happened for Utkal Sangeet Mahavidyalaya’s Odissi drakshya, for instance, has promotedtransgendered male to her guru, VP moved to Bengaluru in 2005 Dhananjayan, in the ’60s. and “He person training course. Pradhan, a 15-year-old, had no dancers through performances exclusively de- who my son and twoup chil-a had recently live leftwith Kalakshetra andher taken training in the dance form. But when he was signed for men. Bharatanatyam too hasgets wit-noticed dren. hasPeople been there good temporary job withBengaluru a company. accepted into the programme, all hell broke nessed a similar shift — Ramachandran used to tauntto us.about In thedancing. early days, the people him But today he loose back home.

Muralidaran, who has created over 750 such is so well-known at Sangama careawards of us.toI and has took national “I come from a village, and my family is cul- compositions says, “I was not comfortable per- his credit. So,could dress likeshe I wanted timesfinally have changed,” says. ture-oriented. Yet, the notion of my learning forming female roles all the time. I realised I and be myself.

Our respective Kuchipudito dancer MV Murthy, empanelled dance was unsettling for them,” says Pradhan. needed to express myself as a male dancer.” husbands haveIndian filed Council for divorce and have, artist with the for Cultural ReThe eldest of five children, he was expected to Historically, Indian dance — classical, folk or lations, more orsays, less,“When let us be.

I tookworking, up computer I started it bebe the breadwinner of the family. And of tribal — was dominated by men who were gu- came classesdifficult and gottoa manage driving licence too. dance.

G too work and course, there was talk in the village over why a rus, composers and performers. found work and weIhave When usedatosmall take place leave now. for perman would choose to dance? Yet, rebel that he For centuries male dancers were As a female-to-male transperson, not formances, colleaguesit was always was, he chose Odissi over family compulsions. neither a rarity nor an excepeasy for me asked to findwhy others meforinitially.

I gotlike leave pursuHe trained under Guru Gangadhar Pradhan tion, neither was it questionable Now, thankfully, have andThis it’s way a great support ing Ithe arts.

Indian artSabhas still prefer and Guru Bichitrananda Swain, and now per- for a man to pursue dance as a system. But even within queer it is alists are always at apolitics, disadvantage. women, saying “this forms across India, the US and Europe. vocation, or be identified by his ways the male-to-female transgendered perWe have a system where sportsis what audiences At the core of Pradhan’s experience are mid- sexual identity and orientation. son who gets noticed, by organisaNGOs or persons arewhether hired by want” dle-class India’s gender politics and notions of Since dance was linked to temwithin the community.

Somehow,sopatriarchy tions and supported that they sexuality. The idea of what makes a ‘man’ is a ple rituals, women were largely seems entrenched in these spaces Even can play.

But the sametoo. encourchecklist that specifies certain professions, not allowed to dance due to tathough I think of myself as a man, I still don’t agement is not offered to those pursuits, interests, attributes and characteris- boos linked to the impurity of feel safe walking down a dark that’s in performing arts.alley We —are the tics: dance simply doesn’t make the cut. Even the female body. Women who defied such mo- cultural just something I am unable change. ambassadors of thistonation, after all.” now, young boys aspiring to take up dance as a res were devadasis, mujrawalis and their ilk.

I consider a transperson not a This reflects myself a typical middle-classand mindset vocation are faced with such dilemmas.

It was perhaps, only in the 19th and 20th that transman, because I have not been able get endorses sports and academics, buttoconNishanth Panicker, 16, has been learning century — following the Indian society’s brush siders my sexdance reassignment surgery (SRS) done.

I’m and music “hobbies.”

Murthy Kathak for over six years and performing for with Victorian moralities, a time when dance adds worried it will impact son’s futhat,whether as it is, dancers are paidmy peanuts by nearly four. Initially, he hid his interest in the moved out of temples and courts to urban au- sabhas, ture. I have alsostill notprefer officially changed my“this givwhich women, saying performing arts from his friends at school for diences, and when the Devadasi system was is enwhat name, and forwant”. officialAlso, purposes, such for as audiences it is difficult fear of ridicule. But eventually, Panicker wi- abolished — that there was a visible shift in the dancers, getting aespecially ration card orfrom a passport, I’m not men, small towns or sened up. He was not the problem, it was those perception of performing artistes and their without Charu Priyan.

Even my to mother, who knows famous gurus succeed and pull judging him — “The irony is that so many great roles. That the Indian Nationalist movement through about G and doesn’t thatsays, I’m a“From tranthe me, initial years.know Murthy dancers from India happen to be men.” Pankaj engendered an ‘idealised vision’ of men as the sabhas sperson. my parents’dancers house, from I go back to betoAt newspapers, establishSharan Das, Kelucharan Mohapatra, Gangad- professional, warriors/soldiers and women as ed ingfamilies a woman. it comes to my 13-year-old orWhen the few top performers are rehar Pradhan (Odissi); Birju Maharaj (Kathak); the custodian of culture and home, didn’t peatedly child, while I dress the wayabout.

I wantWhat to, I’m still called or written about Kottakal Sivaraman (Kathakali); CV Chandra- help matters either. his amma notand father.

I’d much rather wait those whoand are up coming?” sekhar, PT Dhananjayan, Uday Shankar, Ram Art critic and commentator Sadanand Me- until can understand whatand I feelgender and what Thehelink between dance re-I Gopal (Bharatanatyam), among others, are non says, “When dance was performed on the mains have gone through. complex even today. Masculinity strugsome of the pillars of Indian dance. “Why, even urban upper-middle-class stage… was when gles Just other askedBelgium-based him how he to the assert itselfday, on Istage. the God of dance is Nataraja! I think it would the issue of who’s the dancer and who’s the Bharatanatyam would feel if I became a man.

He Sooraj said, “Why and Odissi dancer Subbe unfair and inappropriate to say that dance spectator began. And they made a clear dis- ramaniam should you,sums you are it my up mother?” in his poem ‘Identity is a girls’ activity,” he says. The power and im- tinction that women are the dancers and men Crisis’: This is biggest dilemma in my life but, as Sothe you understand why I can’t define pact of Birju Maharaj and Kelucharan Moha- are the spectators,” he says. This period where myself of now,simply we are by together and weon aremy happy. the whiskers cheeks. patra’s female impersonations, for instance, dance was entertainment for men lasted Stilllegendary, in the dark and I thinkeven of myself as a man, but I still don’t feel safe30-35 in a lonely alley, sayswere Priyan grn somashekar As told tojain sibi arasu are women dancers have about years.

Men now the revenue- mahima

The life and love of a female-to-male transperson

Pirouetting around gender Historically, Indian dance was dominated by men who were gurus, composers and performers. But in time, male performers were pushed to the margins of the stage

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Different Mars and shade Venus are planets of rainbow, baby

Two recent examinations of feminism and masculinity arrive at conciliatory conclusions and show that gender is nothing but personal

ailments: ment-shirt have eating disorders too, men I choose the floral kimono onesie over my son’s favourite star-spangled have trouble ‘down there’, and now comes news that men too get sexually harassed, sometimes for years on end.” e is going to be a chef!” — If I Lest we ‘make them gay’, that fate worse than a at Kipnis ends ofisasteadfastly spectrum.tenacious The vast majority lie in in her investihad a rupee for every time deflowered virgin’s. the middle — fuzzy-legged girls,her boys with sengation of men.

She overcomes inherent resomeone left this remark on The whole thing makes me mad enough to sitive skin, males whoissues hammer their pulsion andclumsy reads all the back of Hustler my 18-month-old’s photo- flout the rules and flaunt it. I shop the whole nails, females whointeractions cannot sew with a straight seam, she can find. Her the pornographs online, I could fund his first appear- store. But in public I queer my child’s appear- persons who prefer churidars to Flynt skirts or graphic magazine’s publisher Larry chalance on Junior MasterChef. It makes of boxing and lenge her pants, at her lovers “corked-up core”. rings She pulls my blood boil. spa treatments. wastingoftime through. Interestingly, herAll scrutiny the No one ever says “he will surely being furtive promiscuous Tiger Woodsand anduncomfortable, former US repbe a linguist or an artist,” when he shopping resentativewasting Anthonyenergy Wieneron (known best for makes me read the same picture choices notis onmore the market, wasting that ‘sexting’ scandal) perceptive than book 25 times. His 10-year-old couand attention on fitting into accusatory.effort It is unarguably refreshing to hear sin cooking an after-school snack those extreme, uncompromising that “no one should be humiliated for sex, not does not fan such ambition. And As though there a slew even sexualboxes. hypocrites.”

When the isn’t moderator people who mistake my ‘boy’ for a better things they might of a sexual of harassment seminar in her do. univer‘girl’ are profusely apologetic — gender binary shuts down sity brings upThe ‘unwanted sexual advances’ tonever mind that the child itself is in possibilities potential.

It how also wards students, Kipnis and interrupts, “But no position yet to know, let alone leadsthey to dangerous hierarchies — it do you know are unwanted until you articulate, a gender identity. okay for baby girls to wear blue, try?” Her is mirth, however, never interferes But coming back to MasterChef. but unmanning for a penis to be with her politics.

My child loves three things in equal dressed in pink. in the alThe essayist comes downImplicit heavily on a conmeasure — cooking, books and outlotted who roleshas of the limited expression servative author temerity to sugings. From our cook to the erudite privilege and isintrinsic value. gest that are female modesty a protection feminist aunt, they insist the Boy AndMulayam I refuse toSingh contribute to “boys devaagainst rape.

Yadav’s who Cooks is a chef-in-waiting. That luing myself. will be boys” remark doesn’t seem all that prois the only way, apparently, onlookthere is the small matter of vincial when Then placed alongside former Wisconers can reconcile the conundrum recognising that I made thiscallous small sin State representative Roger Rivard’s of a male with a ‘feminine’ preoccuhuman but parenthood is guardaffront. Some girls,—he’d once said, “they rape pation — a glamorous career. Verianship,our not ownership.

Who am I so easy.” Drawing attention to this crudity, sus the uncomfortable idea that all deny it the joy of twirling inmake a lusGay arguestothat the societies we live in toddlers like to bang For pans, steer trous silk skirt or comfortof ofa rape “overly permissive”.

Thethe excesses Certain unmentionables all the male dissing in Sex and the City, the characters also know that men buses, scrub floors their squatting pee?convincingly To turn the ques‘rape culture’, whichtoGay disremain conduits to whatwith they want — big sex, babies and commitment ap/craig blankenhorn people, without consulting their around, who doesbyit an hurt if we sects, seemtion largely perpetuated inventhe intimacy of a reviewer’s divul- cation that amused me while reading Gay’s ed entitlement diaper area. do not conform to convention?

If that a majority of men have gences distract His baby curls,often unshorn, arefrom an- the objec- Bad Feminist. We both picked up our first Sweet deluded themselves no one, why sopossessing. shrill, theseThe exclainto extivity of“Clips!” his or her Laura Valley High when we were nine. (My sister’s li- aminationmations? other bugbear.

Theyanalyses. exNor is this project about of masculinities would perhaps Kipnis andWhen Roxane claim. “How sweet... willGay you both chal- brary proved a lot more attractive than the feel less threatening ensuring ifboys playfelt with dolls or all men more implilenge myMy faith in this conviction.

Kipnis’ Men: monotonous blue spines of my Hardy Boys.) cated by the cut it?” friend with the curlygirls deplore Barbie.

It is about horrors of sexual violence.

EvenNotes from an Ongoing Investigation haired daughter, sitting right be- and Gay’s Gay cites theorist Judith Butler to prove that tually, we making of itfewer available — and letmight all have trespasses to Bad Feminist are representative of a new order. gender is, in the end, simply a performance. I apologise for. side him, doesn’t field that questing my child choose. And allowing TheseAdd collections essaysanother make it clear that had quoted the exact passage in an essay for a tion. to the of picture him to in change his mind the next Eavesdropping an elevator is a vicarious there is son, no running away a little Same navel-difference friend’s gold beads in from his ears, courseMon feminism.

My educaday.

And not judge. and guilty pleasure.

A few days or F? Only the child can tell... in time manidipa mandal gazing whenbegin examining and people to getgender. broodyThe — personal tion taught me patriarchy was Doesaitcarefully matter what’s in woman the unago, dressed always gets meshed with political. for daughters to dress up.the One out The pri- insidious. I could never call myderpants for her every toy/clothing/furinformed male relative that vate is implicated in a public narrative.

A con- ance of three, we tell them.

They cannot backpedal fromGay’s expectations self aaway feminist. reasons for his assigned- nishing/airline purchase?

We might as sheseat wasweheading to the opening fession makes for a good start. fast enough. at-birth sex. I choose thefeminist’ floral kimono It onesie calling herself a ‘bad well ask if one is rightor left-handed, of an art gallery.

“It will bebluefolis unarguably Twelvewas years ago,when I happened to share my or There a time the extended family ‘mojri rani’ kurta, over his favourite arepurple far more subtle. or black.

It makes something irrelevant lowed by this wine-and-cheese refreshing eyed to hear college boarding women. handed down the with same four sweetBritish smocks for all star-spangled t-shirt. And feel like a heel for‘no us-oneinto Unlike militant feminists, something critical, weapon of control. party.”

Thea man smirked.

“You that should They were allI white.

Inviting me toshop watch babies.

Now walk into the shoe to rebe ing body to further my politics. whomy arechild’s “perfect in their politics What stopped What if beplaying wary of along? those forwardbe humiliated for sex,if weshould runs of Sex and undoubtedly theira and questioned ‘boythe orCity girl’,was because apparently People ask why, sometimes. wrong person, man-hating, hu-What’s not we started thinking paying attention?

PerhapsInexwe types,” he warned. even sexual gesture inclusion.

But two seasons and a with first shoeofmust be pink/purple, floral/glittery vive laGay difference? to me, is likehypocrites ask- could discover mourless,” espousesThis, a more and nurture a mathematician plicably, laughter ensued. He had hundred kitchen sporty. conversations later, or else blue/brown, Red may be an op-I ing why a woman should work, conciliatory feminism that or a dancer children more to add.better “I amifsoall impressed couldn’t shakecount off my scepticism.

If Carrie tion, but don’t on confusing greens and what in an staying home. seeks harm to belie oft-cited asgot an wife. abacus a music box. by my Sheand is mod [sic] with Bradshaw andyellows. her confidants were sowe invested obfuscating How would know Why not make ambidextrous sumption.

Men,an she says, are not Perhaps my sona behenji and daughter modern people; with bein placing suitors at thethen? centreHow’d of an offhow to talktheir about the baby we child’s lifeand ‘easier’ by do maiming Martians women not belearn to drive, henjis; both the perfect bahu at unlike home.

Red may be an option, might kilter universe, diditthey thenor deride them their know whether why to buy trucks fairytales? left hand? Venus.

As harmless as we talk about She is like a their long to a distant “The way mother,I and cook recalled dinner, chameleon.” instantly but don’t count on so perniciously?

More than a decade later,a KipWhether to encourage her to pour from tea- using creams to imgenderfairness makes it easy to forget Mars and Venus Gay’s takedown likethe their Fiftyfather.

ShadesPerhaps trilogyall — confusing greens and just of nis or helps an explanation — “Scorn for prove pot armwith him with bats? one’s chances of promoare part of the same solar system, divided by “Fifty Shades is children allfinding grown-ups could about aand man peace and obfuscating yellows men has become postfeminist po- tion Harmless, you the say?

When one fallback toy clearly procreation. only or one planet, held in the thrall of the same happiness because wear what they finds want a—woman pants, he finally sition... the Nevertheless, men remain conduits to sun.” corrals growing mind and body indoors First, these insidious enforceCommonalities apart, a steady rise in the willing to tolerate skirts, heels, without his Mohawks bullshit —for long things a lot ofother women still about deeplyinwant: sex, rs and helps the go run the sun? of division tie intojoining social sucnumber of women the global work- enough.” Thebeing bullied or brave.

Maybehad beman in the elevator, though, love,cooks, babies, I caneconomies make my cess.

One thecommitments.” other orders. Entire it isto in direct force Secondly, doesn’t seem have shifted the gen- stirred in meing ‘so gay’shame. wouldn’t be an insult. a hidden I needed Kipnis peace with no stranger to contradiction are built oncontradictions. this difference.I’m Bullying to fit the of a of parent’s double-barrelled dered benchmark success.

Archetypes of forSocomfort. the neighbours could go back worry“The inevitability of anto ongoing them.

For all my academic suspicions, I hadher se- job M/F boxes starts early. One mother says description: protect from harm, equip masculinity continue to be the yardsticks by ing about important things safe, stimulatmismatch between the sexeslike is apparently our cretlyfive, rooted Carrie all the son, notfor only refuses to way. wear pink but with life skills. it is based on ing whichvaried women often Thirdly, get judged.

Kipnis rather than the on colour littleneighbourhoods, tragicomedy to endure, though the Kipnis Gayany arefor persuasive in their His de- misconceptions won’t ‘let’and her buy his baby brother. of gender either/or doesn’t discount the perils of as thisannew ‘equal- of myside, son’s skirt. Now, wouldn’t be more nice? plus it makes the other sex sothat much construction masculinity anda its friends said it of is for girls. And for boyarticulato stray switch-box. truth, like attri- And ity’, but she In overturns themost sides human of this artifiright.IAs right a rainbow after to rain. alluring.” can onlyassay an ‘Ah-men!’ that. tions,girlness but they are present never intimidating.

It is butes, into signals and future ineptigender follows bellout curve. are cial comparison — “Itthe turns thatThere women mandal is a Delhi-based freelance writer shreevatsa nevatia hard for me towhich deny the identifi- stereotypical tude, against blueinstances booties of safeguard. macho dainty ladies — manidipa have no monopoly onmen evenand classically ‘female’

“H

T

Men: Notes from an Ongoing Investigation Laura Kipnis Metropolitan Books ₹988

Bad Feminist Roxane Gay Harper Perennial ₹800

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saturday, january 17,17, 2015 saturday, january 2015

Cut, copy and some paste The swivelling hairdresser’s chair is a perfect lens through which one sees masculinities gently revolve

Uneasy lie the dead Young water vendors walk through a cemetery in Kabul.

Those buried here were not killed by a hail of pens and pencils afp/shah marai

PAPERWALLAH

Bloody farce

Powdering one’s nose Metrosexuality is a norm rather than an anomaly today ashoke chakrabarty

The many cartoons invoking pens and pencils are cruel hypocrisy to lives lost when the West wielded not the pen, but the sword

janice pariat

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ated film magazines apart, unfeteing a writer I am inordinately fond tered narcissism is the one thing ofyou pens.

Either tometaphorical, the are bound get familiar with ‘pen’ which I type-write, literafterwith spending time at a or barber the fountain pen I carry with me to shop. Theal,hour and a half that Nitish Rungta book signings. theinonly person I know has spent facing“You’re a mirror Wakil’s Beauty Sawhohasn’t still uses ansatisfied ink pen,” someone at a lon quite hissaid vanity.

The Kolkarecent launch.

Lately,businessman pens have been on my ta-based 29-year-old continues mind. ever since the of an Charlie to gazeRather, at his reflection.

As ifoffices chasing eluHebdo were attacked, leaving people his dead. sive perfection, his fingers pass12through reThe BBCgelled carried a picture from a public A cently hair more than dozen rally. times. hand a pen, He raised highcharged in the air, His billholding finally arrives. has been for andadefiant. of course aclenched shampoo, haircut,It’s a seductive, shave, a manicure, — the penand as sword, as weapon, a Subtle Knife pedicure the threading of his eyebrows (a that slices away which injustice, hypocrisy, and unprocess through he barely flinched).

He truth.

Images been is a regular herelike and,these fromhave the look of flooding things, a newspapers across the world, as well as our generous tipper.

Would he identify himself as newsfeeds andRungta timelines.

Pen-warfare, let’s ‘metrosexual’? simply says, “I think call them.

Doing the rounds cartoons of that term was relevant when are people like me broken re-sharpened to fight were an pencils exception.

I look around todayanother and evday, drawing toolsanplaced shape of Ifa eryone is finding excuseintothe look better. gun, quills raining down bombssingling on armed metrosexuality is the newasnorm, us ‘Arab’ terrorists, out is just unfair.” pens strapped like bombs around a man’s torso, towering about Married for two years, Rungtapencils believes that to beinvestment attacked by andalso theblunts tip of this in an hisairplane, appearance Eiffel tower transformed intoexisted a giant the obvious disparities that once innib his impaling a hook-nosed turbaned relationship.

“I used to notice how ‘Muslim’ my wife wavingspend a scimitar.

Also, a pencil eraser would hours trying to look hererasing attracan armed extremist with (just in case you miss tive best for me. I wanted to repay that favour. thewhat point) “terror”my printed above his head, and So if getting blackheads removed is a “ideaspainful? are bulletproof”. message couldn’t little Given theThe ordeals she endures, be clearer. theIface a backward medieval this is the In least can of do.”

Mohammad Nazir ideology only who understands language and Samathat Ahmad, work at the Wakil’s, have of the gun, the West — the brave, heroic,before. peaceheard Rungta’s theories of equality loving, made Enlightenment-inspired West — the reHaving a career of patient listening, sponds and by reaffirming its commitment to rebarber the beautician are the keepers of sist barbarism withmen the weapons of ideasthey and many secrets that share. Together freedom of expression. have 40 years of shared experience. From their It is, aspoint, Corey Oakley says in ‘Charlie Hebdo vantage the swivelling hairdresser’s and the Hypocrisy of Pencils’ in the Redwhich Flag, chair becomes a perfect lens through wellsees pastmasculinities time to call the bullshit. one gently revolve.

Each of these thetraining notion Nazir was onlycartoons 15 when invokes he started thatbecome the West fightinIslamic (or to a will barber Patna extremism 25 years ago. should we simply calldays,” it fascism, without con“Those were simpler he reminisces.

“I solidating to to a particular just neededassociations to know how give men cultural a shave.

There was only one principle when it came to tradition?) with battle ideas,These an armahaircutting — cutathe hair of short.” days, these might be) entail a rejection and disrement of cartoons, graphic novels — gard of violence and terror as political tools. complains Nazir, literature, all men want long sidesans bloodshed violence, sansthey drones burns.

“As far asand their hair goes, just and use The pen too does not lie blameless. It has bombers. image carries the dangerously some gel Each to give themselves the look they wreaked havoc, but not in the way these penmisleading suggestion of craft a sanitised, intellecwant.

Earlier, you needed to make some- warfare cartoonists like to portray. The pen tual look pursuit conflict In reality it has signed endless Patriot acts and anti-terror one likeof Shah Rukhresolution.

Khan. There’s none of has been but.hard For almost dec- laws tightening state surveillance, passed bills that now.”anything Ahmad tries to stifletwo a laugh. adesmore the US, in she varying degrees by For thanbacked a decade had mastered thea curtailing civil rights and entrenching police important.”

Sonam pen Phunstok, techniclutch of Western governments, art of giving men facials, but hashas nowrained been proves harassment.

The editorial has launched advisor and to L’Oréal, is in perfect agreement destruction — of the on thea cal forced to expand hernon-pencil repertoire.kind “Men— want prolonged oftentimes indiscriminate anAfzar, but he believesattacks, that commerce is ‘Arabspa and Muslim ferociously, repeat- with hair today.

Theyworld’, want their hair coloured. ti-Muslim, anti-migrant with little the for first men’sitconcerns. edly. To echotheir Oakley, “it waxed, was nottheir pencils and just They want arms cheeks thought theofpeople so casuallySocial labels netand he says, plays aswere important pens — let alone ideas — that left Iraq, Gaza and working, threaded.

Everyone wants a manicure.” decries. Many of those in just power quick toa the selfie, Facebook, InstaAfghanistan andthe hun-husband who role. “In the age According shattered to Ahmad, rallyofbehind Charlie Hebdo while areconfast dreds of thousands dead.”

Noton a weekend gram and matrimonial comes into a salon with his wife not seeing websites, the irony men in their reduced to their image.”

12.no Hundreds thousands. specWith is longer aof disinterested tinued practices of censorship It isn’t quite clearagainst if L’Oréal lives, with Withremains stories tator.

Nazir,families. for his part, (from the witch-hunt Wisoothed men’s insecurities will disgruntled. now remain unwritten. athat touch “There are kileaks, and the Snowden when scanEach image carries it launched itsthe range of Homme The men cartoons cruelthrough hypocmore whoare walk dal, down to many writers the dangerously Men misleading want a hair spa products in India five years ago. risy todoors, lives lost the these yes, when but our artWest has and bloggers warning against today.

They want The company, though, wielded not pen, butA few the certainly takenthe a beating.” the seemingly friendly appeared embrace suggestion of a their hairintellectual coloured. to found a balm man’s sword. Time timemarginally again. Not sanitised, blocks away,and in the of have surveillance and for thoughtwantoftheir arms manifold tragedies — hairfall, just recently, butsalon also in the past.a They posher unisex Mapui’s, crime apparatuses worldwide). pursuit conflict waxed, their cheeks dandruff, chest hair.of ahistor“Before After all, it flips wasn’t the barrel-trigcustomer through a little We commit a crime resolution threaded 2010, men used if the prodger of ideas that putpictures Western cofolder containing of ical philistinism wesame ignore the ucts as — women.

We wanted to lonial policies placeHairto leading Bollywoodinactors. context recent and longstandchange Now every neighsystematically consign theirtries coldresser Mohammad Afzar ing — tothat. the reaction embodied bourhood hair and onies,toincluding those in the hard explain to his lightlyin sloganssalon like offers #jesuischarlie skinracism, treatments,” claims Arab world, into poverty and hopelessness. that risk casting balding client that he doesn’t xenophobia andPhuncoloThe recent shifta in men’s toLest we France’s rule AlgeriaRoshan’s was bru- stok. have theforget, required mane forofHrithik nial heritage under carpet of attitudes victimhood. theirhappily appearance has been driven by tal, the imperialists murdering Bang Bang coiffure. Incomplicit an effort in to console, he ward The farce continues.

World leaders even more substantive. hundreds of thousands colonial subjects to factors says, “Let us find a styleofthat’ll suit you and link arms for freedom of thought while im“Men don’t live in aand bubble anymore. preserve the remnants of empire. your personality the best.” prisoning dissidents surveying theirThey citiworld.

TheyOrdinary are tunedMuslims into global What would be heartening is a turnout of a travel For Afzar, haircutting and styling is a family zenry’sthe every move. are international media.terrorist A sense atof million people to Parisian streets put fashion profession.

Buttaking unlike his father, whotowas expectedand to rigorously denounce but to Indian menThe areright ceran end to poverty, ghettoisation known forthe hisongoing emulation of several Amitabh style tacks isn’t they inherent, have nothing do with. trying very hard,”sympathetic says senior stylist Ruand persecution endured thetoiled Muslim popBachchan templates, Afzarbyhas hard to tainly accuses the left of being to ‘IslamMoktan at Meanwhile, Kolkata’s popular salon ulation of France, of individual Algerian origin. develop styles thatmostly cater to faces pa ic terrorism’.

Muslims in AN theJohn.

West trade, concludes,violent is alsoreprisals; doublingI’m as The history of theThere West’sis,relationship with the Her and preferences. he says, an economlive in fear she of inevitable final leveller. a man or a wom‘Muslim world’ involves and im- that ic imperative that informscolonialism his customisations. certain they won’t“Whether be dodging ink–filled pens, we arequills, as careful with both. Hair is no longperialism, and war, an, “In today’s occupation, competitive subjugation and cutthroat world, feathery and sharpened pencils. and raising thecapitalise pen, clenched people need to on theirand owndefiant, identi- er gendered. We all want to be a cut above.” erases that, upholding instead The the way sweetly ties to get ahead of one another. you janice pariat is the author of Seahorse t@janicepariat nevatia quaint notion values’you, (whatever style your hairthat tells‘Western a story about which shreevatsa

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Being superhuman Being Salman Khan “means people will look up to you” h satish

PICTURE THIS

Poster Girl

book to rescue it from trolls. “The way Sonakshi Sinha says it…” he adds, blushing.

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e’re sitting in a sea of cafes in Safdarjung Development Area, roughly half an hour and two civilisations away from Najafgarh. Rajesh, 35, points out various groups of men, most are friends or friend’s friends, since all Jats are brothers, really. He shares tales of growing up in bordering Haryana, of a new rush of money, of falling in love with women you were only allowed to watch from the terrace. Of never being touched by a woman, in case you got killed. “When we came here first, we were so shocked. We saw all these women.

They talked differently. They wore different clothes. It was mesmerising. Everyone fell in love. Madly. The women used them, ditched them. The men just didn’t understand.”

This complete bafflement at the “new woman” often comes out as suspicion. Stories abound in small-town India, in big-town India, in cafes and bars, in chai shops and at the barber’s, that she, the woman, broke his heart.

She left him. She said no. “Even Salman Bhai is unmarried because of this,” says Shan aka Junior Salman. “Because he said he’ll marry a woman with the sanskar (values) of his mother. But those girls are no longer in the market.”

While the Indian woman was finding a new language to fight patriarchy, while she was learning to say no, the Indian man found himself rudderless, set out at sea. Rejection is a powerful force. And in Salman Khan’s films, the woman never says no.

Whether they’re swiped or free or paid for, there’s something about film posters that I’ve always loved... they capture something essential about the film, in a medium so different

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ecently, a friend asked me if I had ever stolen books. It was a casual question, but clearly also a challenge, a gauntlet thrown down to test just how low I lay in the good girl stakes. Well, I had to confess I’ve never stolen a book. Then, searching for a chink in the boring middleclass moral carapace that clearly covers me, I came up with the only things I’ve ever stolen: food from a college pantry — and film posters.

Regardless of whether they’re swiped or free or paid for, there’s something about film posters that I’ve always loved. Maybe it’s the way in which they capture something essential about a film, in a medium so different from it. No matter how much one might love a film, it unfolds in time, and at its own pace.

Imagine running a film nonstop in your living room as the background to your life! But the poster which picks out one moment from a film, arresting that flow of time that defines the medium — that can stay on my wall forever, and each time I look at it, it is possible to have it evoke the series of moments of which it is a part. So many of my favourite posters are must on have beenfilm about five years ago, oftentbased a single still. after Wanted We had Forsometime years I had, above myreleased. bed, a poster of come outClay of aBird), disconcerting theatriMatirjust Moina (The the late Tareque cal lyrical experience inofaa childhood Delhi multiplex, Masud’s portrait unravwhereinmen of all ages sat Bangladesh feet up in lounge elling the build-up to the War of chairs, spilling bags in of Liberation.

Two their youngguts boysinto in agiant classroom popcorn, cheering a seriously violent skullcaps.

One of them is Anu, the film’s vigiprolante Radhe played Khan,byinhis a film tagonist, sent awayby toSalman a madrasa inthat would inflexible, mark his return to popular imagicreasingly increasingly orthodox nation.The (Or so we thought.

In reality, nevfather. other is the sole friend Khan he makes er leftthethe Indian imagination.) there, jeered-at ‘madmale boy’, Rokon.

In the Meanwhile, Meerut, a friend reported, image on thein poster, Anu has his mouth open, groups of menwhile wentRokon to watch Bhai’shim, latestasofas if to speak, watches if fering, and moment the film,I waiting for at thea crucial tentativeness to in dissipate. just as Bhai beaten the villain, haven’t seenseems the film sinceby 2002, but thethey imtookhas offkept their shirts masse and roared, age alive in myen mind the nervous hes“Bhaijaan, Bhaijaan, shirts itation of Anu’s first fewBhaijaan,” days at theand madrasa — weremelancholy, flung at the As sleeping if on cue,spaces, Khan the thescreen. cramped torestrict off his own shirt.

Muscles ripped.

Blood the teachers, the mocking classmates. spilt.

The friend who his shirt on said he Another poster on kept my wall, whisked away couldoutside taste the adrenalin in his mouth. from some film festival, is a lovely one of Wong Kar Wai’s Days of Being Wild. I used to were in still Jankisummon Talkies, be aour fan,years and later, couldwe probably Nagpur,of at first-day-first-show of something my the old enthusiasm for ChungkKhan’s Jai Ho, to try and understand the many ing Express, Fallen Angels and Happy Together — meanings this pagan ritual. despite thebehind unmitigated disaster thatWe washad My been shooting BeingDays BhaiBlueberry Nights.our But documentary, I’ve never watched of jaan, Wild. with It’s Shan a Khan by Being as ifGhosh, the poster has lookalike sated my cuprofession passion, and Salman’ of riosity.

Theand bluish-green tint‘Junior to it, juxtaposed Nagpur. with He is the ‘hamara Salman’ on thecharacJai Salsharply bright red Chinese man bunched WhatsApptogether group, and beloved bhaithe to ters in athe centre; textile salesman andseems ‘engineer-atstrangely flattenedBalram clock that to sugheart’ Bhaskar.

Along with otherisSalman Khan gest that time (for being wild?) running out fans, watched breathless and moist— thewe whole thingJai hasHo, a stylised melancholy so eyed, knowing thatWai’s we were recording the typical of Wong Kar aesthetic in the ’90s, boys’itcollective for a larger identity to that makes mesearch feel like I’ve watched the film. replace the very ordinary one life hadno handed The mainstream Hindi film poster, longoutpainted, to them.has little to separate it from the er Mard hone Hollywood ka matlab kya hai (what’s the defimainstream poster: they share the nition ofclaustrophobic a man), we hadeffect askedproduced boys andwhen men generic, across Uttar Pradesh, Delhi parts of Kolkaall the ‘designer’ is doing is and fitting in the film’s ta, researching for of thecourse, documentary.

Aukaat big faces. There are, occasional post(stature), they replied.

Pehchaan (identity), ers which do more with photographs, if they saidthem others.

WeItalked to Salman fansthe in cities use at all. remember admiring ones andDev cities-in-the-making, where the star’s for D, which used a psychedelic palette of strongest fan dark base pink lies. Many of these bottle green, and blood red, boys and

Salman Khan to the rescue

He who embodies the Indian man’s collective search for a larger identity to replace the ordinary one life has doled out

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alman Khan, a protector of folk-hero prowere at the cusp of manhood, looking for a portions, is impervious to a failed liberalicode to abide by. “You know, what being a Bhai means? It means everyone is going to look up sation dream. Khan embodies the narrative of to you,” said Kaif, 22, from Orai, UP. Being a self-reliance. ‘Mujhpe ek ehsaan karna, ke mujhBhai seems a logical aspiration, actually. Since, pe koi ehsaan na karna’ (Do me the favour of the only way men defined themselves was not doing a favour). Shohini Ghosh, professor, through the roles they played. I’m a son. I’m a essayist and filmmaker, who has been workbrother. I’m a friend. I will be a father. Not ing with masculinity and fandom, and has a knowing where they stand, and what they chapter on Khan in her PhD, once told us, “For should want, the grandiose lexicon of patriar- anybody who has not been on top of the postof frames (clockwise above)duty, WongproKar liberalisation boom of the last decade, for anychyHall comes to their rescue.from Honour, Wai’s Days of Being Wild; Anurag Kashyap’s Dev D; tect,Satyajit provide, respect, stature — aukaat — that Ray’s Jai Baba Felunath; Gauri Shinde’s English body who has witnessed the liberalisation word, overand andRay’s overDevi again. “When people look benefits but from far, who have brushed Vinglish; at me they should say, ‘Woh dekho, Bhaskar jaa against it but not ridden it… they like Salman Khan… since, in today’s country, youexamcan’t raha hai’,”images says the a well-known tweaked of grandson the actors of into mind-alter- even in And these designs.

The only recent depend anyone else with and the system will fail wrestler in There Nagpur who died Gill in penury.

“Just ple ing forms. was Mahie reproduced of a on recent poster attention to type you —I your body will beoffhand your only weapon.” the waytimes they would say, a‘Woh dekho Madho Pe- that several to create butterfly; Abhay Decan remember is English VinThere are did more in small-town Indiaa helwan raha hai,’” surrounded by glish, ol’s facejaa morphed outheofsays, recognition, with which thegyms obvious well, by placing than cyber A gym in wires, designing “top-secret aviators and giantalips; a green Deol viewed Devanagari ‘ga’ and ‘sha’cafes. in place of ‘g’trainer and ‘sh’, Chhindwara,both dressed in a fitted product”afor Salman through pink vodkaBhai. bottle. There was anoth- effectively highlighting the Indianness redtheT-shirt with a plunging Just favourite) a few yearswhere ago, India wasDeol’s profiles of the title and er (my Gill and film’s linguistic theme. V says, “Every poster hero today beingsuperimposed celebrated for so having were that the they seemed to The masterneckline, of the typographic was, It’s a body on display, has aRay. six-pack.

Butmore it allstriking started largesta number of Ityoung people share single eye. sounds monstrous, but in of course, Satyajit Each was like a painting, joyous with the (thelast. song) O Jaane Jaana, in the world. Today, economists fact it succeeded in conjuring up than TheOall-black Joi Baand hairless when Bhai poster took had off his shirt.” it a ofdemographic aconsider strange sense stillness, of ba Felunath no images These been nightmare. the mergingGleaming of souls. India, one at all;men-only just thegyms film’shave title in crafting a new body for the Indiwhich ShahBanerjee’s Rukh Khan repreDibakar Love Sex plump geometric white, the BanThe master of the an male, body, which sented, doesn’t true film anyAur Dhokha wasseem another gla lettera Kshatriya ‘la’ holding a pistol, typographic poster relies heavilyfrom on upper-body strength.

More more strongly for anybody, especially for unemployed with conceptual postwhich a shower of sparks was, of course, importantly, it’s a body on display, like a paintboysThey fighting to find a LSD purpose. Salman ers. usedhard the acronym emerges to create the only trianSatyajit Ray If Michelangelo Khan took the stories back to mofussil India, ing, joyous and strategically, also producing psyglehairless. of colour on the page. were Shaset his canvas on the and in filmimages, after film, stood as its chedelic each with a protector. He to paint today, tranjhe’d ke Khiladi, using English, andaChhindwara. also brought theat vardi, police uniform, streets of Meerut scarlet heart back placed the or cencreated typeface whose heavy, At various points history,evoked we’re reminded one Inthat butwas disappeared after the tre. one,had the all ‘heart’ made leadenin bottoms the form what is to be men The and women, lest we forget, spoils of globalisation made feet, it irrelevant.

He of up of two pairs of entwined suggesting theitchess piece. most unforgettable is lest society dissolve. taught protect was In clearly ontoitsomething.

Vikram,suggesti22, from probably sex. another, was a pincushion, Ray’s posterWe’re for Devi (The to Goddess), ourselves a cruel of world, lest weTagore’s forget, Behraich said, “Three lakh engineers come out where ng pain. (Caused by the dhokha, naturally.) theagainst eerie energy Sharmila that to liveinisshadow to fight.and For men and women sufof But eachwhat stateI think every makes year. Iffor I continue an en- face, the mostasmarvelhalf half in blazing light, ferechoed equally,bycry equally, tothat create an identity gineer, I’ll just be one of them.

My dream is or to is lous posters, really, is text used either alone, a typescript seems aflame. under an overwhelmingly society. beconjunction in the IPS. Everybody respects a uniform.” in with images.

Dev D’s posters in- The word ‘devi’, in Bangla, patriarchal forms the crimson If we had to help ussoon, through this Izzat (respect). too came up repeatedly, corporated someThis phrases from the film’s outline of feminism a temple. Someday perhaps, mess, it seems, have Salman Khan. like one‘Emotional of god’s own names.

“Especially, when I’ll songs: Atyachar’ appeared bookendseeBhai a newfans, poster as good as that in a cinema a girl Aajkal towho saariplayed ladkiyan ed bysays the ‘aap’. bandwallas it, ‘tu’ ‘Ek bolti Hul- — something really worth stealing. hain (these days in girls higherfrom reg- shabani hassanwalia and samreen farooqui chul’ emerged a don’t spiraluse ofthe smoke are working on a documentary the bachelors of gupta is a writer andoncritic based in Delhi ister of address),” says Balram, as he sets cigaup a trisha Chanda’s (Kalki Koechlin’s) smouldering Haryana. Being Bhaijaan releases later this year new page for little the Jai on Face- t@chhotahazri rette.

But very useSalman is madegroup of typography

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WINDOW OR AISLE

Instant karma Between worlds All ears Members of khap panchayat in Jhajjar district decide on matters of alliances and land deals anu pushkarna

The queue for pre-paid taxis at the Goa airport was moving along at a slow, mechanical pace, when the Ruffian barged in

A high-caste man in Haryana holds landed the most power in his community, yet a younger at the Dabolim airport on Christ- ticed? Admittedly, I had paid no attention to mas day, and even before I had disem- the queue or the people in it so far. Or had this generation is slowly trying to fight back rishi piparaiya

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inky (name changed) sits at the edge of her chair cooing to baby Pihu. A shawl slung over her slight frame seems insufficient protection against the brutal cold of a January morning in Rohtak. Ten-month-old Pihu is rather taken up with the flower on Rinky’s cap and lunges for it repeatedly. To a stranger, Rinky is just another 22-year-old girl in Haryana, easy to smile and vulnerable to the cold. But Savita (the Haryana state president of All India Democratic Women’s Association and baby Pihu’s mother), in whose home we meet Rinky, tells us an altogether different story.

Sexually abused by her father for years, Rinky left her home in Karnal district this November. “I was in Class 5 when it first happened. I had no idea what it meant at the time,” she says. The abuse stopped for a few years but began again in Class 12. “It happened regularly.

They even stopped my studies for some time,” she says. Yet, Rinky went on to get a degree in history and geography. When she told her family she wanted to pursue a course in fashion, her father suggested a compromise — “Let me have my way with you and you will be allowed to study.”

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ince census-keeping began in 1901, Haryana has remained a state with one of the worst sex ratios in the country (879 women to 1,000 men). In districts such as Jhajjar and Mahendragarh, the ratio falls further to under 600. Son preference still reigns, female foeticide runs rampant, and property rights elude women. The stranglehold of patriarchy over the Haryanvi society means that women are systematically excluded from the public realm and sidelined in private decision-mak-

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barked from the plane, I was ruing my Ruffian just planted himself into the queue decision to come to Goa on the yearend out of turn — playing a neat little trick beholiday weekend.

People pouring out tween ing. Within the home theywere are treated as seccouple Captainji, and me, with and need forthe an Japanese image makeover. from flightcitizens. after flight and the traffic is squeezing ond-class Filmmaker Nakul that Singh himself us before I could his deeply lined facebetween and rugged complexion, usually encountered on the Mandovi bridge at Sawhney, whose documentary Izzatnagari ki remonstrate again.

I wasthings; unsure he andis decided tries to say all the right not opPanjim away, hadwhich seemingly up to Asabhya30km Betiyan (2012), dealtbacked with hongive him the benefit of doubt.

I went to posed to love marriages (his son is back having all way to the belt at thestarts airport. ourthe killings, saysconveyer discrimination at my phone but couldn’t concentrate.

Five min-a one), a daughter is more important than After excruciatingly long he waitencountered for my lug- utes birth.anWhile researching, passed, The queue continued to son, all castesthen and 10. genders are welcome in the gage, finally made it, a heavy VIP suitcase in move many IHaryanvi Jat families whose daughters along But the I thought khap. But digslowly. a bit deeper andmore the hollowness tow, the prepaid taxi “I counter at Arrivals. woretotheir hair short. thought it was pro- about it, claims the more convinced I was thatmarthis of these shines through.

A love Actually, are twotold prepaid taxi coungressive, butthere the families me that it was to dude just bypassed andinthe hour riage had is permissible if itme is not theextra same vilters at the Goalook airport, adjacent tohe each other, make them unattractive,” says.

In he have spent, hadcaste. he brought up the lagewould and not with a lower The burden of and both had about 50not people queued to rear many villages, girls are taught how toup ride the snaking ‘izzat’of(honour) of queue. the family rests with the book cab. I chose one of the Education of- daughters, not the cycles,arestricting their mobility.

Thesons. counters kept running out It is hard for the landqueues at at random quickly are located a less to be khap ten stops school,and as colleges of taxis.

It had now close to members, “theybeen can’t serve got engrossed mytowns. phone, bus ride away inwith nearby an hour-long wait, and I was chai at the meetings,” and they don’t have the catching up of onwomen 45 minutes of But stories fighting seething.

Justtoastake I was preparing wherewithal decisions.

“Will get you some flight and back aremode gainingmessages traction. A man to In once again launch an indigCaptainji’s household, the other time,” I emails that said werethat pinging in.wife The in Bibipur if the nant assault onpar hiswith shoulder, the beti may be on the sons, muttered under my queue was moving along at gets beaten three nights, shea Ruffian reached counter and but the bahu stillthe observes purdah breath, as I watched slow, mechanical pace — on while will beat the husband theI The his taxi.

“Willelders get you and doesn’t address diofthe the ordered himresurgence rush off with never so absorbfourth.really The checked, resurgence of the some other time,” I muttered unrectly.

His 28-year-old son Dev, a khap in Haryana over taxi that should have ed wasinI Haryana on the phone, I had khap over the lasta der my breath, I watched him bearded man inasskinny trousers, the last few decades been mine sense that I was standing behind few decades is instigated by this rush offother with the taxiisthat should on the hand, a member is instigated by the anewfound touristy Japanese bellicosecouple. instinct in have mine. of thebeen leftist-theatre group Indinewfound bellicose the counter, itsHalfway women.toWhile womenI was are few minutes later, I got my anAPeoples’ Theatre Association instinct in its women interrupted voicespanchayats, of the said challenging bykhap turn at the counter, and receipt and frequently disputes his facouple bearded in hand, I made the old admonishing order is tryingan to unkempt, wrest myclaims. weary way towards the vether’s young Indian In man — faded jeans, backpack hicle that was According back control. a state where to ferry me my welcome to to a study in Harand all. “We wereis ahead you in the queue. drink and hopefully, honour killing not aofcrime to Panchayati a more civilised gian Singh’s Raj AdPlease go back”, said Japanese to world… and wife-beating is the norm, tourist-san divorce rates when passed the Ruffian and his ministration in I Haryana, 77.5 per cent of the “Sure,” said the Ruffian, allowing haveRuffian. gone up and cases of domestic violence taxi, backpack leaning his leg, I saw panchayat members areagainst aged under 50. While them to go ahead. So I looked up from are being reported by when women.

Masculinity in the furiously trying to to will car to this driver suggests a shift of power thethe younger my I saw myself standing behind him start. the screen, State is in crisis today. automobile expert,custodians but that men, itI’m hasno resulted in traditional instead of the Japanese you just cranking Captain Mahavir, thecouple. head of“Have Satrol Khap, engine was clearly not going anystressing on practices that smack of aggresjumped thelargest queue?” tapped precariously him on the where one of the in IHaryana, soon. I gave Ruffian last look as sive manliness.

In the some ways,one Dev captures shoulder “Not“When at all,” he said, “I was my straddles and this asked. transition.

I got married, revved and sped away...

What isAit‘good they the taxi crisis of masculinity in Haryana. just unsure if I was ahead of them behind my father asked, ‘Can the girl milk aor cow, feed say karma being a bitch? of Satrol khap. son’,about he is the media consultant them”.

Andcollect he stood his ground likethe a truck. cattle and gobar?’

Now, I ask girls if “The media unfairly paints Haryana as antipiparaiya is the author of Aisle Be Damned I was been confused.

Had I been they’ve to university or ifstanding they canbehind work.” rishi women.

It’s the UP khaps that banned mobiles the Ruffian all along and come simply no- rishi@aislebedamned.com The khap leaders have also to hadn’t realise the and jeans. Our sex ratio has improved over the

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decades, but what about south Delhi?” he asks. But his passion is theatre and he admits that while he has performed across Jharkhand and Chhattisgarh, he finds little support in Haryana. He keeps a beard, shakes hands with women, acts in village squares; he differs from the khap ilk. Yet, he belongs to them.

Sparing no punches Last month, two sisters from Rohtak hit the headlines when a video of them thrashing harassers went viral. Subsequently, it was alleged that the sisters were serial assaulters and the state government held back the bravery award. “But this sort of thing happens every day. I used to do the same on a daily basis,” says Jagmati Sangwan, vice-president of AIDWA. In Haryana, the bus is a conflict zone for women.

Chhedkhani (teasing) is rife, “Woh meri hai, ye teri hai” is how men assign girls. One of the few shared spaces for both genders, the bus gives women mobility but exposes them to even more harassment. If they complain about eve-teasing, they lose their freedom to travel, which often means also losing the opportunity to study.

Nearly one-third of Haryana now falls under the National Capital Region. Property prices have shot up and landowners have turned millionaires. On paper at least, as per the Hindu Succession Act, women are entitled to property. Yet, few are in possession of their lands.

“The criteria of gaon (village) and gotra (caste) are attempts by khaps to keep their daughters hat keeps you up at night? Noises that go boo in the from inheriting land,” says Sawhney. The ban dark. Or the thought of an army of rodents gnawing on inter-caste marriages is also strictly folthrough the woodwork and charging towards your rations? lowed to keep resources within the family. But That is what the residents of Peshawar are now dealing with. due to the proximity of the region to the CapThey might be accustomed to bombings and drones, bullets ital, signs of upward mobility are all too visiand injuries, but the nine- to 12-inch rats are robbing their ble. An important factor of change is the sleep. Normal poison does not work on them and they attack increase in land prices, which has resulted in only after sundown. Of such stealth and villainy are these creamore and more women claiming their proptures made that Robert Browning would certainly have writerty share. “There is change now, but the pace ten an ode to them. For now, one can hear the residents of is too slow for the cost we bear,” says Sangwan.

Peshawar mumble: “In Haryana, the strength of male culture is Rats! visible in the exclusive all-male spaces in the They fought the dogs and killed the cats, villages,” writes Haryana scholar Prem And bit the babies in the cradles, Chowdhry. In her analysis of the rural culture And ate the cheeses out of the vats, in the state, she remarks that Haryana’s villagAnd licked the soup from the cooks’ own ladles es are constructed to preserve male dominance. The control extends from the home to

The curious incident of the dog Gujarat makes headlines, one pup at a time

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akhilesh kumar

S Secretary of State John Kerry’s visit to Gujarat was marred by just one minor incident. His convoy almost ran over a puppy. Almost. The convoy was on its way to the Ahmedabad airport when a little puppy suddenly appeared on the road. To save the pup, Kerry’s car hit the brakes,which resulted in a minor collision. In Gujarat, where the puppy has become a political symbol in the last few years, its safety is of great importance. Two years ago, Narendra Modi, then the Gujarat CM, had famously explained the “pain” of the 2002 riots in an interview as, “Someone is driving and we’re sitting behind, if a puppy comes under the wheel, will it be painful or not?”

Thankfully this time, no ‘pup’ was hurt.

The Pied Piper of Peshawar One man’s dogged fight against a new peril in the city

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Little bit of TLC If you’re in Adelaide, pick up your sewing kit for the kangaroo joeys

From Varanasi, with love The holy city’s electorate will not go easy on the PM In the ring The Rohtak sisters came into the limelight for throwing punches at male bullies in a bus afp; members of AIDWA say that cases of incest and abuse are all too common in the homes of Haryana meeta ahlawat

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ince May 16, Varanasi has become the cynosure of all eyes. Chosen as PM Modi’s constituency, the city has seen a slew of proposals for its development, from Save Ganga to the smart city project. However, a group of students have taken matters into their own hands and are preparing a list of complaints about the problems in Varanasi for its prominent representative. Majority of issues are related to traffic, and law and order. Bah, that’s nothing, you say? The complaint chart will be at least 1-km long, i.e. it can potentially accommodate nearly two lakh lines of grievances!

No entry Haryana’s villages are constructed to preserve male dominance, as seen in Bibipur ramesh sharma

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itten central accomplished. koala bears. “We’ve got enough at home,pouch wherehas my public space. The baithaks calls.for Many tellsaid. me my Operation now nexttimes, year,”they one didn’t of them men gather to play cards, hold friends Finally, they it took away albegun.

In meetings, last week’sspill bushfire in had Andcalled. now, they have called for help chaupals, the all-male, out onto the street. At together,” Rinky.

The family even went as Adelaide, a significant number of tosays make pouches for nine kangahookah panchayats gather to were discuss politics to far as to roo remove the phones animals reported have joeysSIM andcards otherwhen wallabies beand women. The streets too remain under were to keepfrom the outside world out died. Several animals were also in- charging ing rescued the bushfire. male use, especially after sundown. her reach.

One day, Currently, eachwhile carerwashing is sewingclothes, up jured, including koala bearsofand Nearly a year after Bibipur village inThe Jindcarers dis- at she found SIMpouches in her brother’s pockkangaroo joeys. the toasix a day. Sotrouser wait not, trict attached ‘The city’s Women’s World’ et. She smuggled it case, out and calledina helpline zoo went intotoanitsoverdrive for in this a stitch time and lake have come up injured name, a street, chaupal number will thatsave had,nine. ironically, flashed during making mittens for the And more! bearing the prefix ‘lado’ (daughter). Yet, these the khap episode of Satyamev Jayate. decidedly ‘feminine’ spaces lie unutilised. In Savita, seated below a Che Guevara poster, April 2014, Sudesh Choudhary, 44, was made who has been an AIDWA member for almost a the first president of the women’s wing of the decade, says cases of incest are all too comSatrol Khap. “We’ve got 200-300 members and mon in Haryana. But most go unreported and, we are working for more participation.” Yet, unlike Rinky, most girls don’t seek help. Every none of the mahila members have attended Wednesday, Savita holds an open office, where the panchayats, and Bibipur’s women from across the state sarpanch Sunil Jaglan makes it share their grievances. During clear that the inclusion is just an our meeting, her phone rings empty claim. “The social excluconstantly with “cases” — most of There is change now, sion of women from communiwhich relate to sexual harassbut the pace of that life disappointed is so strong than that Sri often f there’s anyonetymore Lankment and domestic violence — change is too slow for voter IDs are notRajapaksa, made for woma’s former president Mahinda it is his she tells us. Rinky can’t return to the cost we bear en,” saysAbeygunawardena.

Sangwan. When womastrologer Sumanadasa The her village now; her family has en begin to due havetilltheir own presidential elections were not two years spread rumours of an affair, even relationships with the world, later, but Rajapaksa, on his seer’s advice, called it a pregnancy. She will stay at Saviunnerves the Haryanvi male, for polls early this month. Despite assurance ta’s and fight the case in court. is auspicious used to “exercising that the time waswho a most one, Raja- control over her “But they’ve threatened to burn my certifisexuality paksa lost power property, after a decade.

Not and onlyinteractions.” did cates. I need to get them back, they’re my life.”

Abeygunawardena call the election wrong, While khap panchayats continue to assert he eldestSirisena’s of three he didn’t even see Maithripala de- siblings, with two their dominance through diktats, honour younger fection coming. He now claims brothers, that the de-Rinky’s childhood is crimes and sexual violence, traditional power similarly feat was written in the starsone butofhecontrol. didn’t If her brothers aged structures in Haryana have begun to fracture. and 13itwere given bikes, Rinky could only By leaving home and her family, Rinky symbolhave the heart to18break to Rajapaksa. board the college bus (exclusively for women). ises the new breed of women steadily chalWhether the former president will make a On days when she missed the bus, she stayed lenging patriarchy. For the next generation of comeback only time will tell, but Abeyguhome. her brothers could watch television, men like Dev, the going is only getting toughnawardena has lost hisIfbungalow, chaufgo to and cinemas, she on hadthe no such freedoms. er. To be a young man in Haryana will not be feur-driven limousine the seat While her board of a state-run bank.

Webrothers can only had hopeaccess that to mobiles — such a wonderful thing. they have Facebook and WhatsApp accounts — India’s seer-friendly government is taking note. her phone was monitored. “They answered priyanka kotamraju with nandini nair

Not in the stars

Sri Lankan seer makes a disastrous prediction

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saturday, january 17, 2015

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cornerstone in-faq by joy bhattacharjya Greats

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uhammad Ali turned 73 today. We’ll celebrate with a quiz on The Greatest, and a few other greats.

1

After defeating which fearsome former champion in February 1964 did Ali first exclaim, “I shook up the world! I talk to God every day. I must be the greatest”?

2

A song recorded for the 1977 film The Greatest was a number one hit in the US with a female artiste and later again reached the Billboard top 50, when the singer passed away in 2012. Name the song, originally recorded by George Benson for the film.

3

Mahaan was a 1983 Hindi film starring Amitabh Bachchan, a remake of the Kannada film Shankar Guru. In what way was this a first for Bachchan?

4

Who is believed to have first referred to Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi as ‘Mahatma’, after they first met in March 1915?

5

Dalip Singh Rana was an officer with Punjab Police. He has appeared in quite a few Hollywood and Bollywood films and television shows. By what name is he better known?

the new york times crossword-0810

"chee whiz!"

6

Trimalchio, Trimalchio’s Banquet, Among the Ash Heaps and Millionaires, The High-Bouncing Lover, On the Road to West Egg, Incident at West Egg, and Trimalchio in West Egg were alternative titles suggested by the author for which classic work?

7

The figure of Dhul Qarnayn (‘Two Horned One’) mentioned in the Quran, a heroic warrior who built a wall to defend against giants, is believed to have been inspired by which real-life ruler?

8

What epithet was common to boxer James Jeffries, cricketers Allan Lamb, Graeme Smith and Robin Smith and basketball star Larry Bird?

The list is by no means exhaustive.

9

Ghulam Mohamed, better known as the ‘Great Gama’, was considered the world heavyweight champion in the ’20s and ’30s Which Polish champion was his most famous opponent — they had three famous bouts?

Interestingly, he is remembered more vividly in India as it is the name of a Hindi film villain.

10

While he definitely killed at least one of his brothers, Sushim, in a war of succession, the contemporary texts, Dipavansa and the Mahavansa accuse which ‘great’ Indian ruler of killing 99 of his brothers, sparing only one named Tissa?

Answers 1. Sonny Liston 2. The greatest love of all, one of Whitney Houston’s biggest hits 3. This was the first film featuring him in a triple role.

So far, he had restricted himself to double roles 4. Rabindranath Tagore, they met in Shantiniketan 5. The Great Khali, a popular WWE wrestler, Dalip is 7’2” tall 6. The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald 7. Alexander the Great 8. They were all referred to as ‘Great White Hopes’ 9. Stanislaus Zbyszko, the name of Parveen Babi’s bodyguard in Amar Akbar Anthony 10. Emperor Asoka

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joy bhattacharjya is a quizmaster and Project Director, FIFA U-17 World Cup t@joybhattacharj

ACROSS 1 Little muscle?

4 Like some turkeys 10 First, second and third, but not fourth 15 Rescue squad member, for short 18 Tax law subjects 20 Like much tax law 21 Gallery figure 23 Former Potala Palace resident 24 German philosopher with an injury?

26 Gulf of ___ 27 Court V.I.P.’s 28 Driver of “Girls” 29 Models, in a way 30 Guy who’s covered in mud?

35 “Impossible is nothing” sloganeer 37 Spiced tea 38 72-Across, e.g., informally 39 Models 41 Motor grp.

42 Chase scene staples 46 Request upon leaving?

49 Ruckus 51 African-American martial art?

53 Iowa college

55 Cabby’s phrase on arrival 57 SOS, e.g.

58 Some cries for attention 60 County north of San Francisco 61 Citi Field precursor 63 ___ valve 64 Only form that carbohydrates take?

69 “Absalom and Achitophel” poet 70 Piddling 71 Break ground?

72 Baby 38-Across 73 In 75 Record label co-founded

by Jay-Z 79 “That will be ere the set of ___”: “Macbeth” 80 Unsure answer to “Where were the 2014 Winter Olympics held?”?

83 Group of two 84 7-Layer Burrito seller 87 How seatbelts should be fastened 89 GPS course: Abbr.

90 Get off one’s chest?

91 End of the NATO phonetic alphabet 92 Iroquois foe in the Beaver Wars

94 Nuts 97 Actor Stanley’s dinner reservation?

102 Filmmaker Nicolas 103 Loads 105 “___ got an idea!”

106 Advance 107 Film reviewed by Jughead’s friend?

113 Audubon’s “The Birds of America,” e.g.

114 Arm that’s swung 115 Parts of a party line 116 Feel like 117 Dr.’s relatives 118 “Less Than Zero” author 119 Alarm clock button 120 ___ Fields DOWN 1 Rice ___ 2 Do away with 3 Fine coat material 4 Off-color 5 Like Super Bowl crowds 6 “Pardon me,” in Parma 7 Like 3-Down 8 Target of some passes 9 Wallace of “E.T.” 10 Burglary, in police-speak 11 Verdi’s “Ernani! Ernani, involami,” e.g.

12 Flute section

13 D.C. summer setting 14 Declares, informally 15 Rider of the war horse Babieca 16 Celebrated Bombay-born conductor 17 It’s a lock 19 Seasonal cookie eater 22 Italian town with Giotto frescoes 25 Roast locale 31 Drink since 1948 32 Trail to follow 33 Stop on a wine tour?

34 Have over 35 Italian wine hub 36 It disappears in the morning 39 Speed 40 Hazmat monitor 41 Bit of fallout 43 Shakespeare character with a magic aphrodisiac 44 Vanilla 45 ___ asada 46 Whitman’s dooryard flower 47 Loser to Pierce in 1852 48 Comic Mandel 50 Holding one’s breath, for hiccups 52 Mimic’s business

54 Emergency key 56 Home of Merlin, in Arthurian legend 58 Decorator’s creation 59 Did away with 61 Tuxedo accouterments 62 Chinese dynasty preceding the Three Kingdoms 63 Go at 64 Game on the line?

65 Pack member 66 Fast pitch 67 Moonshine 68 Sound investment?

69 Workers in booths, maybe 73 Many moons 74 Pack carrier 75 Independent sort 76 Classical work accompanied by a musical instrument 77 One jumping on the bandwagon, say 78 Suffix with orange 80 Citation abbr.

81 Bump, as one’s toe 82 Place for a potted plant 85 Not loose 86 Boston Garden legend 88 “Having fun ___?”

91 Billy of “Titanic” 93 Displays disuse 94 Kaffiyeh wearers 95 Film title character who likes to high-five 96 Shakers and others 97 Lugs 98 Police, in slang 99 Ex-Disney chief Michael 100 Witherspoon of “Mud” 101 Agenda makeup 103 Kazakhstan’s ___ Sea 104 Meter site 108 Basse-Terre, par exemple 109 Unagi, in a sushi bar 110 Sot’s woe 111 W.C. sign 112 One half of an iconic 1981 Rolling Stone cover

By Ian Livengood / Edited by Will Shortz

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