Effective Apologies

By / Sheralyn Belyeu

“We used to have a very hostile environment within our Local,” says Greg Blose, president of Local 12 in Pittsburgh. “Contract negotiations were over the top. I was almost ready to quit my job as an elected business agent.”

“I’ve heard horror stories about personal attacks,” says James Strother, SMACNA Western Pennsylvania executive director. “People were throwing things and going across the table with each other.”

This kind of antagonistic atmosphere can develop in any organization that fails to support and foster basic character traits like humility, honesty, and fairness. “We tend to hire people based on technical skills, but that can come back to bite us if they don’t have strong ethics and social-emotional intelligence,” says Don Riling, president of the LeaderBuild Institute. “Great leaders should value integrity and humility and are not afraid to let other people see their weaknesses.”

Acknowledging mistakes is one of the fastest ways to improve the workplace, but it can be frightening. “Leaders often fear that admitting to a misstep disqualifies them from their positions,” says Richard Mangelsdorf, business manager at Local 280 in Surrey, British Columbia. “I believe the exact opposite. It’s not a big deal to make a mistake because ultimately everybody realizes that you’re human. If you accept mistakes and grow, so that you’re not constantly making them over and over, people don’t expect you to be a superhero. The best thing you could do is get your ego out of the way and be real with people.”

Jeremy Hallman, executive director of SMACNA-British

Columbia, finds that acknowledging his own imperfections makes it easier for others to be honest with him. “If someone made a mistake and they’re afraid of you, they try to hide the mistake, which makes things worse,” he says. He makes sure subordinates know that he has overcome similar errors. “Then you can go over what happened and train and teach,” he says.

Hallman doesn’t like to use the word “you” in these discussions. “I ask ‘Where did we go wrong?’ not ‘Where did you go wrong?’” he explains. “I probably put them in that spot, and I’ve probably given them information. I need to take some blame myself when they make a mistake.”

“The key is taking ownership, even if a mistake wasn’t directly attributed to the leader,” agrees Joseph Lansdell, president of Poynter Sheet Metal in Greenwood, Illinois, and former president of SMACNA. “If the leader delegated someone to do the task and it did not turn out right or there was a mistake made, a true leader takes ownership of all mistakes. They have responsibility.”

Ownership and responsibility do not mean that a leader knows everything or makes decisions alone. “There’s always something that you can learn from somebody else,” Mangelsdorf says. “No one person has all the answers. I’m known for coming up with some creative answers, but often I’m missing a very basic solution that would make things easier, simpler, and cheaper.”

Successful leaders find someone they can counsel with— whether a board of directors, experienced colleagues, or experts at SMART and SMACNA. Mangelsdorf advises leaders to check their egos at the door. “I ask if I am making a decision because it’s the best for my membership or if am I making a decision for myself,” he says.

Once he was elected business manager, Blose followed these principles to improve communication with SMACNA. He started by picking up the phone. “The clashing got us nowhere,” he says. “I would call the contractors on the JATF committee and pick their brains instead of acting like I was running the show. They would call me back with their ideas.”

These dialogs created an environment where people felt comfortable voicing their opinions. “When leaders see every difference as a personal attack, they’re going to shut conversations down,” Mangelsdorf says. “It is up to the leaders to have the confidence to take new ideas—even criticism— and not feel like their livelihood is in jeopardy. Ask yourself if there’s a path to a better outcome in what the other person is saying.”

Honest conversations allow Local 12 and SMACNA Western Pennsylvania to solve most problems informally. “Now anytime the union’s thinking of filing a grievance, they contact me first,” Strother says. “Sometimes I’m able to work it out, and we don’t have to go through the process.” SMACNA and Local 12 went six or seven consecutive years without a single grievance coming to a hearing. “I could impose fines, but that doesn’t do anybody any good,” Blose says. “I’m not out to punish anybody. If you can work it out and get a good relationship, it’s a win-win for everybody.”

Their new rapport gave Local 12 and SMACNA Western Pennsylvania an advantage when they financed their JATC improvements. Local 12 took out a $3 million dollar construction loan to build a new training center, remodel the union hall, put a new roof on the HVAC/welding center, repave the parking lots, add new sidewalks, and have building exteriors repainted. By the time they completed the JATC upgrade, leaders at SMACNA Western Pennsylvania and Local 12 trusted each other. “A thousand decisions had to be made, and all those decisions were made jointly,” says Strother. “There was never any arguing or fighting. There seems to be a permeating attitude that what’s best for everyone is going to be best for me.”

The Local and SMACNA jointly hired a grant writing service that helped them secure about $2.6 million in state and iTi grants. Unions frequently apply for grants alone, so SMACNA’s involvement made their application stand out. “We have had many politicians, senators and congressmen, tour our training facility over the years,” Blose says. “They all stated that when unions and contractors demonstrate teamwork and collaboration, it really helps with securing grants.” The grants allowed them to pay off the construction loan in just three years and eleven months.

This kind of success is exactly what Riling predicts. “The people with the best relationships,” he says, “get the best results.”

“There is more of a spirit of collaboration with contractors these days,” says Scott Parks, former business manager for Local 20 in Indianapolis. “I think everyone recognizes we have goals we have to achieve. If contractors have a problem, it is my problem.”

Strother does not remember Blose apologizing for his predecessor’s harshness. In fact, verbal apologies haven’t been an important part of their relationship. “I don’t know that I agree with just saying I’m sorry,” Strother says. “Most people want action. I think the most important kind of apology is righting a wrong. If there was a deficiency, and they corrected it, that goes a long way.” ▪

A Colorado native, Sheralyn Belyeu lives and writes deep in the woods of Alabama. When she’s not writing, she grows organic blueberries and collects misspellings of her name.