Growing Without Schooling 70

GROWING WITHOUT SCHOOLING 70 So much of howwe educate - ln the sense of helplng young gro\rr lnto thetr partlcular culture and lnto the world at large people F rg depends on how we thlnk people by nature behave. When we talk as John Holt does tn thls lssue's Focus, about educatlon for peace, we x are talklng not only about what we want but about what we thtnk we're startlng out wlth. Do we thtnk that worklng for Peace means worklng agalnst human nature, or [r conJuncUon wlth lt?

The trouble wlth thts quesUon, tmportant as lt ls, ts that lt's not enough to askwhat human nature ls, even though that alone would keep us dl argulng for a good whlle. We also have to ask, and argue about, tww we frid,out what human nature ls. People say, "Of course ctrtldren (and by tmpllcatlon, human betngs ln general) are naturally aggresslve - look at how they behave on the playground.' Or they say, 'Of course chlldren need to be made to learn - look at how my chtldrenJust slt around lf I don't suggest thtngs for them to do.'

But others say, "Of course people are naturally peaceful - look at how they behave lf we don't make them feel so badly about themselves that they feel they have to harm other people,' and "Of course ctrtldren are good at learnlng - look at how much my baby has learned wlthout €rnyone forclng trlm to do lt.'

Whtch are true? How can we tell? ln lnsteadof MucattonJohn

s

How to hclp chtldrcn grow lnto pcac€fuI adults ls lssue's Focus. Da{cs 17-21,

INSIDE THIS ISSUE: NEWS &REPORTS

p.2-4

OK to Count on Flngers, Opposl-

tlon toTestlng, GED Requlrements

THE MAKING OFAHOME. SCHOOLERp.4-5 CHALLENGES & CONCERNS

p.5-6 Physlcal Handlcaps, Recovertng Flom School, Chlldren's Flghts HOMESCHOOLINGAIV ONLY

CHILD p.7-e WATCHING CHILDREN LEARN

p.9-12 Understandlng Concepts, Bluegrass Communtty, Slblings Worktng Together, Money and

Independence

HOWADULTS LEARN p. 12

BOOKREVIEWS p. 13-16 FOCUS: EDUCATION FOR PEACE

p.L7-2I RETHINKING HUMAN NATURE: INTERVIEW WTITI JEAIV LIEDLOFF p.22-23 OLDER HOMESCHOOLERS

p.23 RESOTIRCES & RECOMMEN-

DATIONS p.24

wdtes about Japanese Bonsal trees, whose twlsted, shrunken shapes gardeners create by limltlng their supply of water and sun, by cllpptng thelr branches, and so on. John asks, "If a tree can be defiormed and shrunk, ls thls, then, lts nature? The nature of these trees, glven enough of the sun, alr, water, soll, and food they need, ls to grow llke trees, tall and stralght. People can be more easlly deformed, and worse deformed, even than trees... Only to the degree that people have what they need, that they are healthy and unafrald, that thetr llves are varled, lnteresting, meantngful, producUve, Joyous, can we begln toJudge, or even guess, thelr nature.'

'Only to the degree that people have what they need...' One way to flnd out about human nature, then, would be to look at people who seem to have what they need (although how we know when weVe found such people ts, agaln, open to questlon). One of the

reasons we lntervlewed Jean Ltedloff. author of Ttv Corljttutm bncept,ln thts lssue, ls that she has so much to say on prectsely thls subJect. Jean also talks about the power of assumptlon - about how much our errpectattons about wtll happen alfect what actually happens.

John, tn the essay ln thts tssue, talks about how harrnful lt ls for ctrtldren to be subJected so much of the time to caprlclous, arbttrary authorlty, authodty that does not derlve from anythlng chtldren can respect or conslder senslble. But thts ts only one ktnd of authortty' Aaron Fdbel, responding to John's essay, remtnds us of George Dennlson's dtsttnctlon between natural authortty (authodty that som@ne lnuests {n someone else) and authorlty of rank (authorlty that someone holds ouer someone else). "Great damage ls done,' Aaron wrltes, 'when we use authorlty of rank ln place of natural authortty.' Great damage ls also done when we forget that natural authorlty ls possible and declde that all authodty ls coerclve and that there can be no gd reason to do what someone sa1rs or follow someone's example. Chlldren expect and demand natural authorlty - they want us, €ls Jean Ltedloffmakes clear, to be strong, capable, examples worth following. Helplng chtldren become peaceful people ls ln large part about helplng them become people who can Susannah Sheffer flgure out whlch ktnd of authority ts whlch.

-

2

OFFICE NEWS & ANNOUNCEMENTS that the Farengas are erpectlng a second child tn August (probably by the ttme you receive this lssuel) Day has become an essential member of the Holt Assoclates team since she took over the Book and Subscrlption ISS:I Ourbtggest news ls

ManagerJob two year:s ago, and we are thankful that we wlll not lose her completely. After the baby ts born, Day will continue to be responslble for the Subscriptlon Manager part of that Job, and she will work part-tlme at home and i:r the olllce. She has already made arrangements to have the older glrls ln the ollice (Marie Barr, 12, and Mtchelle Barr and Mandy Maher, both 13) look after the baby while they are ln the olflce. flhe girls are already good frtends wlth lauren Farenga (3) and Noma Rlchoux Ross (2), reminding us once agatn of the value ofvertlcal age grouplng out here ln the real worldl) We welcome Ann Barr, who has been our capable Shtpper/Recelver durlng this past year, to the Book Manager part of what has been Day'sJob, and we welcome Kathy Munro to the Shtpper/Receiver

positlon.

Ikthy brings her chtldren, April

(8) and Chrts (6),

with her to the offlce, and

both have been eager to learn the various o{Iice procedures so that they canJoin the work that they see golng on all around them. Today, as I wrlte, Marle has Just taught April how to vertfr a customer's credlt card number by phone.

We're also glad to have Glnger Fitzslmmons crrnlng tn regularly to help us fill back orders, and a new volunteer, Phoebe Wells, coming ln once a week with her 2-year-old son Eoin (pronounccd Owen).

Parcnts magazlne plans to run a chapter of the new John Holt book, Leatnbtg AU The Ttme, In lts November issue (the exact issue may change), so be

on the lookout for that.

We're happy to announce that our reprlnt of Escape hom Cltldhd ls now available agaln, and sells for $7.95. Also, slnce Patrlcla Joudry's book about homeschooling tn England, Arld The Cltldren Played. went out of prlnt, weVe received at least five requests for tt, and we'd like to be able to offer used c.oples to these people and anyone else who mtght be lnterested.

We wtll pay $3.OO ln credlt for any used copies we recelve, and wtll let you know when we have enough to offer them for sale.

From tlme to tlme we rent our mailing list of John Holfs Book and Music Store customers and/or people who have requested lnformatlon from us (we do not sell the GWS subscrtber llst as such, or the Directory). For your tnformadon, the groups that harrc rented all or part of the list tn 1989 are: Clonlara School, Color Art/Huson Travel ktters, Home School Supply House, Jellrey Norton/Audio Forum Tapes, lramlng At Home, National Wridng Instltute, Oak Meadow School, Pensacola/A Beka Books, and True School.

For those who have been wondering about an tndex to GWS #61-7O, we should have one In a few months.

NEWS & REPORTS OK TO COUNT ON FINGERS Reader Corute Krurdtson sent us thls fiom tte 2/ 19/89 Rehester, NY Democrat and Chronicle, sagtlg, 'I tlaught gou mtght rnd tftis bXerestitg, Shortty bJore I satr: this I heatd oJ a article

teacher corrnenttg, very negattnlg, that a lot o;f lronleschooled lciils courrJ.d on their fiugers.'

Schoolteachers have scolded chtldren for counilng on thelr flngers for decades,

but some researchers say flnger-coundng can keep good students good and help notso-good sfudents become better. Robert Siegler and Dennis Kerkman, Carneg[e Mellon Unlversit5r Psychology professors, say thelr studies show there's nothing wrong wlth flnger-coundng, and teachers probably should show their students how to do lt correctly.

They're going to do it anyway. Every teacher we've talked to about this has told us that telling children not to use thelr fingers doesn't work... We thtnk chtldren are right to do thls because lf you don't know the answer very well, then it's better to be right than to be wrong.'

Good students rely on thelr memorles more than not-so-good students or perfectionists to solve math and reading problems, acc-ording to a study of 8O children at arr elementary school in suburban Monroeville. When they couldn't remember an answer, good students hrrn to backup methods, lncluding sounding out words, using a dictionary, counting up from a number to add or down from a number to subtract - or uslng their flngers.

Perfectlonlsts used backup methods even when they could remember ttre answer, frequently taking longer to solve problems as a result, Ste$er and Kerkman discovered.

Not-so-good students gave the most incorr€ct answers, as expected, but also

displayed poor flnger-counttng skills.

Poor students may do poor work because they are bad at backup strategies, lncludlng finger-coundng, Siegler satd. Siegler hopes to develop ways to teach not-so-good students how to use backup strategles and to determlne whether this kind of teachlng can help them learn more qulckly.

[SS:l I suspect that being able to use these sorts ofbackup strategies ls an

indication of how well you really understand, and tmst that there ls sense ln, what you're dotng. As John Holt observed repeatedly ln Hou Chdren Fb[[, you can't slmply teach these strategles, and expect that to be enough, lf the foundation of genuine understandlng ts as shalry as lt is for so many children in school.

PLANS TO REDUCE COMPETI. TION IN ALBERTA Wendg Priesnttz urcte br tle Sprlng 1989 issue oJChtld's Play, the newsletter oJ the CANADIAN ALLIANCE OF HOME-

SCHOOIfRS: An Alberta reader reccntly sent a copy of an artlcle that appeared tn Alberta

Report tn mid-Aprtl. Entitled "A Revolution in Our Schools," it described a new policy that wtll take ellect by August 31, 1993 in all Alberta's publlc, separate, and lndcpendent schools... Under [the policyl, competition between students, or by any student against a class or provincial standard, would no longer be used to determine how a chtld w€rsi progressing. The article goes so far as to say there will be no more flailures, no more examlnadons by grade, and in some schools, no gfades at all. It talks aboutlndividual progress and learning st;rles, nonthreatening leaming environments, goal-dtrected learning that reflects a child's goals rather than a teacher's, evaluation of progress ln relatlon to a chlld's own goals and capabilities, and the inappropriateness of much of what ls now accepted classroom behavior.

A system ts described in whlch a child would be entered in Year I and tested for his or her tnittal capability in various subject areas. He or she would then be guided by a teacher to work at hls or her own pace, throughout the flrst six years, being advanced in reladon to varlous goals along the way. This, of course, would

create obvious nightmares for a teacher having to deal with thirty students all at different levels in different subJects. But tt's the way many home-based education sltuatlons functlon now.

OPPOSITION TO TESTING Tu.n bttercsting ttems Jrom the Spring 1989 Issue oJ the Fal/Test Exam-

lner: GEORGIA DROPS TEST: IS TEXAS NEXT? The state of Georgia will drop a controverslal test that has been used to

determine entrlr into llrst grade. The kindergarten test, used last sprlng for the flrst time, was criticized by teachers, administrators, local school boards and parents as traurnadc to children and educatlonally unnecessary. Because the test was not mandated by state law, the State Board of Educatlon was able to both

lmplement and drop

tt arbttrarily...

Georgia Jolns other states tJ.at have reccntly stopped testing ln one or mor€

grades. North Carollna banned testlng ln grades one and two, Arlzona stopped mandaUng testlng ln grades one and 12, and Misslssippt will drop lts klndergarten test.

The state ofTexas mav soon become part of this trend. Wtth wiie backtng from educatlon reform groups and the State Board of Educatlon, the Texas Senate has passed legislation to drop tts mandated grade one test. The btll ts expected to become law...

OPPOSITION TO SCHOOL TESTINC GROWS. The Natlonal Assoclatlon of

Early Chtldhood Teacher Educators (NAECTE) has voted to go on the offenslve agalnst the mlsuse of standardlzed tests.

In a November resolutlon, NAECTE reported that 'a number of htghly questionable practlc.es have resulted from the widespread use of screenlng, readlness, and achierrement tests' on young chlldren.

Amongl the negatlve results of such test

GROWING WITHOI-TT SCHOOLING #7O

3 misuses are dental ofentrance tnto regular programs, group segr€gatton, increas€d retentlon, and excesslve use ofddll on isolated sHlls by teachers pressured to ralse scotes.

Accordlng to NAECTE, these practlc.es are not 'consonant wtth the body of knowledge that e:cplalns how cbtldren

leam," and stllle young chlldren's motlvatlon to contlnue learntnt.

wHY QUESTTON ELIGIBILITY? EIIren Pelrldns oJ Utah

u;rt'Ites:

I must wrlte ln r€sponae to the homeschooler who questloned why homeschoolers couldn't be part of the Natlonal Geography Bee (GWS #69). I thtnk perhaps some homeschoolers autornattcally thlnk people are agalnst them, and are contlnually on the defenslrrc. Last year t read of the Geography Bee. I urrote saytng that u,e had a home school, and rpould they please send us the lnformadon so ure could be

involved. They sent a book, an lnllaflble world $obe, a beaudful world map, and all the tests. My dauglrter, then 8, took the school wlnner's tesL We sent lt tn to the Washtngton, D.C. headquarters. We Later recelved a letter sa5dng she uras one ofthe top IOO quallffers for the state bee.

At the luncheon before the bee one speaker announced, qutte proudly, that among all the contestants, there uras even a homeschooler, My daughter's name wEul listed on the program as Sadle Perldns,

Perldns Homc School.

Often I read or hear ofopportunldes for schools. lJustwrtte ln and say I have a

home school, and wtll they plcase send the tnformadon. IVe never been turned down.

Why quesdon elfgbilfty for programs?

Instead calmly assume you are eltgtble.

STATE NEWS Fbr arldresses oJ state ad,lcr,al oryanlzatlons, see GWS *66 or orlu. Homescttcoltng Resource llst, at:allable Jor $2.

Cellfornle: In GWS #69, we sald that the state's Ieglslaflve Analyst had recommended that publtc school Independent Study programs for elementaqr school students be eltmlnated [SPs are one way for famtlles to homeschool under the law). Ellzabeth Harnill now wrltes ln theJunefiuly lssue of the NORTTIERN CALIFTf, RNIA HOMESCHOOL ASSOCIATION Netos that the members of the Assembly Ways and Means Subcommlttee voted to reJect the ana\nt's recommendatlon at a hearlng on Aprtl 12. The members of tlre Senate Budget Commltee's subcommlttee on educatlon dld not vote to reJect the recommendatlon at thelr hearlng the followlng urcek, so homeschoolers are sflll monttortng the sltuatton. Ellzabeth notes, honnrcr, that the legtslators dtd not s€em to be concerned wlth homeschoollng per s€: ISPs lnvolve many other students as well.

Homeschoolers ane also uratchtng Senate

Blll

1563, whtch unuld requlre

local school dtstrtcts to set tlg;hter controls for publlc school ISPs. NCHA comments: -The btll's strongest polnt ls that lt allows changes to be made at the local level, wlth parental tnput. For

lnstance, parents could work with the admlnistrators of thetr ISPs to determlne how often shrdents should meet wtth teachers and what gutdellnes should be set for screenlng admlsslons. Parents who obJect to the ttghter conbrols stlll have the prlvate school opflons for homeschool-

tng.'

Iowe: The one-year moratorlum on

prosecardons of homeschoolers explred July I, so the requlr,ement that home-

schooltng parents be certtlled teachers ls now back tn elfect, accordtng to Gr€g Nlchols of the IOWA HOME EDUCAf,ORS ASSOCIATION. Greg says that the HOME SCHOOL LEGAL DEF'ENSE ASSOCIATION has IUed a sult on behalf of flve famtltes who have been threatened wlth prosecutlon. The sult charges that when the sectlon of the Ioura law regardtng quallllcatlons of homeschoollng par€nts wag

ln 1953 from r€qutrlng parents to be'competent to lnstruct' to rcqulrlng changed

that they have teachlng cerdflcates, that

change was passed te vlolatlon of the Iowa

constltutlon. The loura ctonstltutlon r€qulres that btlls deal wtth one toplc only, wtdch was not true ln thls case, tcntucly: In GWS #69 we unote that truant olllcers had claimed some famllles were nelther sendtng thelr chlldren to school nor complytng wlth the home school law. Homeschooler Ruth Mc€utcheon now wrltes: Thlngs have been happentng here tn Kentuc$, begtnntng about the llrst of the year.

Newspaper artlcles, obvlously slanted agalnst homeschoollng, appeared tn at least trvo areas of dense (for Kentuclry) populatlon. In early Febrrar5r, adults from seven famllles, and numerous chlldren,

met wlth State Department of Educaflon ofllclals, We were told that we have nothlng to fear lf we are responstbly educaung our ctrtldren but that the ofllclals are concerned about people who ar€ uslng the current ltberal regulattons for homeschmltng to clrcrrrnrrcnt truancy charges.

-Ihe man we met wlth seemed favorably lmpressed wlth our group but one sald he had put a proposal on the desk ofthe current state superlntendent ofpubllc schools and that he hopes some reg;ulailons wlll be forthcomtng, Thts man wall on televlslon a couple ofycars ago advocattng testlng for homeschooled chtldren

and spectllc quallflcatlons for parents.'

Ruth says that a statewlde group called the KENTUCI(Y HOME EDUCATION ASSOCIATION has formed to monltor any legtslatton ttnt wtll be proposed durlng the l99O sesslon. For lnformatlon, wrlte KHEA c/o Molly Stotts, l3 Rowland Arrc, Wlnchester I(Y 40391.

Ncvrde: The State Board of &lucaflon pa.ssed reguladons whlch restrlct the way ln whlch tests can be admlnlstercd to homeschool students tn the state. From the regulattons: The board of trustees of the [schooll dtstrlct shall select the admlnlstrator of the e:camlnailon and the locatlon where the exardnadon ts to be gtven, gtvlng conslderaflon to the recommendaflons of tts staff and a representatlve of parents whosc chlldren are excused

from [schooll attendance...'

Mtriam Manglone of HOME SCHOOI,S UNITED tells us that homeschoolers In Clark County harrc been worldng to convlnce thelr Board of Trustees to allow

GROVYING WITHOTJT SCHOOUNG #70

tests to be admlntstered at home by the parent, as they have been tn the past. She says, 'The State Board's lntent was to mandate that a cerdfied teacher admtnister the test tn the home (tf the parent pafd for lt) or at a school slte. Honrever, they wrote 'test admlntsted tnstead, and accordtng to the state of Nerrada's dellnltlons the test admlnlster cannot be a certtlled teacher or a par€nt. So the reguLatlon as wrltten doesn't colnclde wtth the

State Board's lntent.

'We unuld llke to hear from any homeschoollng organlz.atton or famlly that wag sucressful ln retahfng thek rfght to have par€nts test thetr chlldren at home. Wrtte to Home Schools Unfted/ Vegas Valley, PO Box 2681 I, I ^" Vegas NV 89 126, or call 702-458-6427.'

If you harrc experlenc€ wlth thls, we'd appreclate tt lfyou d send us at GWS a copy of your letter as nrcll.

Ylrconrln: A law passed fn 1988 rcqulnes that local school dlstrlcts adopt a plan for dealfng wtth tmante by September I, 1989. Homeschoolers are concerned that some procedures may lnclude spectal provislons for homeschoolers, or ne@mmend that the Departrnent of Publlc Instrucdon regulate home schools. The WISCONSIN PARENTS ASSOCIAflON has prepared a fact sheet on truancy and homeschoollng, and tts May newsletter Itsts suggested ways to prerrent the truanry procedures from alfecting homeschoolers.

GED REQUIREMENTS I}om Jttdg GanEV urd Jtn furgln (RR

l Box 1O5, Bfue HilIMEO4614):

We are beglnntng to cpllect lnformatlon about the GED (hrgh schml equlvalency exam) wtth the thought of one day challengtng the mlnlmum age requlrement ln Malne. We belleve that a person's rtght to take the ocam should be based

only on hls or her ablltty to learn the necessary academlc subJects requlred to pass the test.

We would apprcclate heartng from

anyone tn any part of the country who knows ofa young person who has been allowed to take the test earl5r. These excepUons can help us show that the age

requlrements are arbttrary and that precedents have alreadybeen set" Itwould also be very helpful to flnd out lf others are worktng toward thls same goal, and whether there have been any past ellorts to change the age r€qulrements tn other states.

ISS:I If you urlte to Judy and Jtm, please send a copy ofyour letter to us at GWS, too: nrc d llke to keep tr:ack of and

publlclze any efforts on thls front.

GROWING wlTflol'}T SCHOOLING *7O, Vol. 12 No. 4. ISSN #O745-5305. Publlstrcd bl-monthly

by Holt Assoclatcs. 2269 Massachusctte Avcnuc, Cambrtdgc MAg2l40. $2olyr. Datc of Is$re: August I, 1989. Sccond-class postagc patd at Bcston. MA. FOSTMASTER: Scnd addrces changcs to GWS, 2269 Massachusctts Avcttuc,

cambrrd6 MA o'214o.

ADVERflSERS: Dcadltncs arc thc l5th of oddnumbered months. Contact Patrlck Farcrup for ratcs.

4

CALENDAR September 8-lO. 1989: Nadonal Homeschool Assoclatlon annual campout/organlzatlonal meeting. For more lnformadon: NHA" PO Box 167, Rodeo NM

8ao56;5O5-55722ffi.

l:

September 29-October

FUo

Grande

Educational Assoclatlon annual meettng, Coronado Natlonal Forest near Portal, Arlzona. For lnformatlon: Dan Shultts, PO Box 9 I , Rodeo NM 88O56;

tu5-557 -

22ffi.

We are happy to

run announcements

of maJor homeschoollng and related events, but we ne€d plenty of notlce.

Deadline for GWS #71 (errents ln Novem-

ber or later) ls September lO, Deadllne for GWS #72 (wents tn January or later) ls November lO.

T}M CONNECTICUT HOMES CHOOLERS ASSOCIATION would like to exchange newsletters with other homeschooling groups. If you would like to participate, please write to Lois l.ake Church, Hearthnotes Co-Editor, 14 Trumbull St, Meriden CT 06450.

Is GWS in your library? Please consider

giving your library a subscription, or encouraging the librarian to order one.

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u)r(tes: To my great surprlse, we ar€ now a homeschoollng famtly. Last year Maggie [now 8) was lnterested ln t]re homeschooltng tdea, but content ln school; my husband Paul was opposed, sometimes vehemently; I was mnvlnced of lts supertortty, and wavered between teeth-grindlng frustratlon, deep sadness, and hopeful

reslgnatlon.

I've read GWS for years, ever since Maggre's reluctance to attend pre-school pushed me toward alternatlves. But my

radlcalizadon dtd not come easily. F)rst I trted all kinds of ways to pave her way toward fiftfng h to school: fatthful attendanc.e at ltbrary story hour for group acdvtty exposur€, a home pre-school with another mother, chooslng a half-day klndergarten lnstead of full day. At story hour she sat by my slde or on my lap; home pre-school evolved lnto totally free playtlme for the chlldren while my friend and I talked; and she went to kindergarten

wlthout baldng primarily because her best frlend went wlth her. She enjoyed tt, believe, because tt happened to be small and one ofthe last around here to hold onto soclallzadon over academics (i.e.

I

they got to play a lot). I learned about homeschoollng and GWS from my preschool mother frlend. subscribed, and began a most lnteresdng tntellectual Journey.

Maggte went bravely to flrst grade, and after the inldal shock of not having any flme to ]Just play,'seemed to do wcll.

The bravery lasted two weeks. The bus ride was the flrst to go, and I began drtving her to school. By now I was convinced that school was tllogical and unnatural, but felt, tn a confused sort of way, that Maggle should make the declsion to homeschool herself. She knew about homeschooling because of my subscrtpflon to GWS and our frlends whose chlldren wene not ln school. but I trted to avoid dldacticism. I assumed she consldered lt an alternative. Part of my cautlon was due to Paul's distrust of the idea. My attempts to laud homeschooling and hls reluctant reading of my growtng c.ollecdon of matertal were mct wtth soltd defenses. It was a deep and complex and unhappy sltuatlon urith roots gotng through our own schooling and chtldhood experlences, and our relationshlp and our tndlvldual relationships

wtth M.gSe.

I dtd not press the lssue. For one

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thfng, I was stlll a ttmtd radical, too timid to buck both Paul and the school authoritles. For another, I belteved that things really would work out, now that the truth was about, and even though I was the only one to fully grasp the ldea, it seemed lnevltable that lt would become clear to anyone who had the strength to care. And one of the reasons I am so enthralled with

homeschoollng ts that teaching the unwllltng ls what schools are about, and can rob the student of her freedom and her power. So this ls where we stayed for a year, seemingly mtred, though, in retrospect, we were worldng hard.

Maggte did dectde to homeschool

hvlcc during thts pertod. I, conslderlng somethlng I read long ago tn GWS about fear alone never belng a good reason for not dotng somethlng, worrted that Maggie was reacdng out offear ofschool, and proceeded cautlously. I would explaln that yes, we could homeschool, and that I would have to send ln the proper forms to the governor's ofllce, and that lt would take several weeks to get approval. I decided to watt for her to lnslst, and she never dld. Paul would dlscuss wtth her what he consldered homeschmllng's drawbacks, prtmarily that she would miss her friends. The toplc would pass.

Maggle 'dtd well' kr school, was

popular and excrlled academtcall5r.

Indeed, I was sometlmes envlous of the farnilles wtth 'mtsflt' children. the chlidren who seemed to be well aware of the absurdltles of c.ompulsory schoollng, or at least so uncomfortable that they would readlly leave (only now do I see the lrony - years ago my worry was about her

not fitdng ln).

Meanwhlle, I read a lot. I was so lntrtgued I llnally ordered and devoured the back lssues of GWS. I ordered George

Dennison's The U;rvs oj Children Quite frankly, I ordered lt out of homage to John Holt, who was becoming a mentor to me.

John called lt "essential." OK, I'd read it.

For some reason I expected tt to be dull, and was shocked to discover posslbly the most exclilng book IVe ever read. It c.ould have been called ?}re l)tns oJTeaclers, and I couldn't help tmagtntng myself at the school ln thelr placc. What would I have done as Maxlne flounced around the classroom, when Jose panlcked at the sight of words? Would I have recognlzed the deep, deep fears behlnd these behav-

lors?

Maggte was at home slck for a week near the beglnntng of sec-ond grade, and refused to go back to school once she was well. Paul knew that the only alternative, forclng her to go, was out ofthe quesdon.

It was that simple.

I had fantastzed for so long about our lives as homeschoolers, drawlng from my reading souroes, and I knowwe had a smoother transitlon because of thls. I was lnfluenccd by the relaxed atrnosphere ln the Flrst Street School ln The Lhns oJ Chlldren Relaxed teachers, but always observant, lnterested, wtlltng to act. Eletter ?han School convlnced me that I dtd not have to rely on a purchased currlculum, and lnlluenc.ed me to lnclude our two glrls tn adult actlvltles. Vtta and Ishmael Wallace were read Dat:Id Copperfield and taken to tntelltgent movles: I began to quesdon assumptlons of Amerlcan parentlng (lots of toys, never mlss a lidddie movle). I loved the freedom portrayed in

And nE Chldren Plaged.'Happlness ftrst, and all else follows,'was author Pat Joudry's belief, and slowly our llves seemed to be becomlng ordered tn that

way' The most helpful and excltlng were the back lssues of GWS. Agatn and again as I read them I would see our culture ln a new light, becomtng ever more conlldent ln what I felt, what I believed, what I satd and did. Chtldren don't have to be sllly. They

CROWING WITHOIJT rcHOOLING #7O

5 don't need dozens of frlends.'l,eaders are people who go thetr own way wlthout carlng or even loolrdng to see whether :rnyone ts followtng them." Schools a.re strangely dlvorccd from llfe, My chtldren don't have to be Vlnners.'Idon't have to be a winner. "Ftndlng our work ls one of the most tmportant and dtlflcult trsks ln Me." 'Most healthy and curlous chlldren

don't llke to be taught.' And all this (from the flrst ten lssues alone) ls ln the form of storles. A lovely way to learn.

Maggte, as I later learned, had questlons of her own as the whole family mulled over the lssue of homeschooling, among them the cornrnon 'How will I learn wtthout betng taught?' and "Will I be c.omfortable betng so dtfferent?" And

Paul, once the declslon was made, once he (and I) reallzed that lt wasn't hls declslon or my declslon, became a sudden enthuslast. I thtnk the fact that we let Maggfe know there was an altemadve to school would have helped her even had she chosen to remaln ln school. but she made up her own mlnd to homeschool.

CHALLENGES & CONCERNS TJNWELCOMING TO YOTJNG

challenge.

CHILDREN

And Jrom Dausn McNanara oJ Mossachusetts:

Mbhnel Duryon (MO) wrltcs: There were some very lnterestlng ldeas put forth ln the focus on maklng

cornnunltles more welcomlng to chlldren (cWS #69). I espectally ltked the one by Sue Fladosfl, about maklng publtc places

more welcomlng to very young chlldren. I can't begin to count the number of tlmes that we have had to change my daughter's diaper on a restroom floor or tn the trunk of the car (belteve lt or not) because there were no counters or tables to use. Belng a father who ts the prlme nurturlng parent in our family, I often {lnd no place to change diapers ln the men's room, and wouldn't even thlnk of putttng her on the floor ln most of them. So I have to resort to benches or other makedo technlques.

My complatnt with thts sltuatlon lsn't that I don't llke to change my

daughter tn publtc, but that when we, as a socle$r, don't make a mlnlmum ellort to support parents and chlldren ln these most baslc ways, we send them a message that they aren't lmportant. When we don't give chlldren a place where they can take care of thetr bodtly functtons ln a sane and rational manner we say to them, ln elfect, -This ls an adult bathroom. There are no facilldes here for you chlldren. You aren't people yet, and therefore don't deserve our conslderadon. Just make do."

PHYSICAL HANDICAPS Alison Inttlmore- Horrld.ge urtte s

from Australia: An added dlmenslon of homeschooling for us ts that our son Tor, nearly 2, ls moderately vtsually tmpalred. Born wlth cataracts, hts mtd- and dlstance-vlslon ls expected always to be poor. We are hoptng he wlll be able to read ordlnar5r or large prtnt after the cataracts are removed, but readlng wtll probably never be for htm the Joy and endless pasdme that tt ts for the rest of us. We are challenged to develop our farntly so that he can fit comfortably wtth us; gone are my hopes of taldng up btrdwatching butwe read aloud, act, and are becoming more muslcal. I suspect Tor will need extra encouragement lf he ls to achiwe a balance of sldlls (thougfr I wonder what prtce soctety and tndtvtduals pay for balance, and to what extent lt ls necessary). We were encouraged yesterday, vlsttlng an exhlbltlon of atds for the vlsually lmpalred, to see sophlsflcated computer equlpment almed at rnaHng

prlnt more accessible.

I would be lnterested ln hearing from nnyone who has a slmllar homeschooling

GWS has always been packed full of lnformadon and posldve enerry, so I thought td wrlte to get some thoughts on our parttcular sltuatlon. We have three chlldren, 6 l/2,2 l/2, and 6 months. We chose to homeschool the 6 year old, 'Iller, when he was 2, and now, wlth two more chlldren ln the plcture, we ane still very much plannlng to keep them all home.

The catch ls our 2 l/2 year old, Ross, has a s€izure dlsorder that's been uncontrolled. He's been on every selzure drug avallable slnce he was 2 months old (he's currently on an experlmental drug). We've well as many trled homeopa.thy, "" we contlnue with an neurologlsts, and stlll average offour or 0ve selzures each day.

Ross has had REACH (an earlylntewentlon prograrn) workers helping slnce he was 6 months old, and developmentally he has been 'on target' in every way exc€pt motor control and a slight rtght-stded paralysts. The REACH program has tts pros and cons, but basically we're pleased wlth tt. The program ends for Ross on hts thtrd btrthday, and then the town takes on lts responsiblltty (there's a slde-by-stde program here for Spectal Needs preschoolers.) I have many reservatlons about sendlng Ross off for three hours a day, three days a week at 3 yea::s old, yet he does need extra therapy. I could posstbly do the therapy myself tf I had some lnstrucdon.

I feel qulte dratned at the prospect of havlng to llght for what ts rtght for Ross and for our phllosophy of education as well. I need some advlce and support.

RECOVERING FROM SCHOOL Sr;rme ercerpts Jrom the booklet How To Begfn Homeschoollng tlrot GWS reader Judg Ganzy has wrllten (the corr\olete fuket ts at:ollable Jrom Judg at RR I Box 7O5, Blue H{11 ME 04614:

...Homeschooltng ts so much easier

than havtng to deal wlth children who have been ln school all day. My kids used to come home to me tlred, often angry, generally feellng lncompetent, always comparlng themselves to other chlldren, worrled and resentful about the evening's homework, and frustrated about not being able to do the thlngs they really wanted to be dotng durtng thelr wenlng'free' tlme. I used to feel that I was holdtng them together wtth some llnd of 'Mother's $ue,- constantly patctrtng them up where they had broken a btt durtng the day at

GROWING WITHOLrI SCHOOLING *70

schml. Every evenlng I would stt wlth Matthew and do homework. Many tlmes he would do tt by htmself, but he needed the emotlonal support of someone nearby htm to help hlm tolerate the task. Just as often he had to have me explain lt because he dtdn't understand lt, or actually help htm Bntsh lt because he was too tlred or frustrated. So, besldes encroachlng on Matthew's free tlme. school was also dtctaUng howJlm and I would spend our evenlngs wlth the chlldren. ...Recently Matthew talked to one of his former classmates who satd she would Itke to qutt school too, but that she ls afratd she would mlss her frlends too much. Matthew satd to me laGr, "That's the way I used to thtnk too, but I was wrong. I really ltke my friends ln school, but lt's better betng home. I really dtdn't know how tt would feel before.' If anyone was ever afratd of leavtng hls frlends lt was Matthew. Ltke many chtldr€n, s€elng frtends was the only real rieason he wanted to go to school. He really wrestled wtth the tdea of homeschoollng for qutte some flme before he was llnally secure ln chooslng lt.

We let hlm make the declslon though we did try to show hlm the htgh prlce he was

paytng for the very ltrntted soclal tnteractlon he got at school. Hls boredom ln the classroom and dlssatlsfactlon and hurt from the dtsctpllnary measures {tnally got palnful enough that he dectded to leave school. Even then. he sttll couldn't see how much he would ltke hts freedom untll he was out of school... Now Matthew can't believe how long he stayed ln school. ...lfyour chlldren have attended schools before begtnrdng homeschoollng, be prepared for a 'flushing out" perlod as they go through dmes ofanger, exhaustlon, bltterness, or generally uncooperatlve behavlor. Wtth both of our boys there was an tntttal pertod of Just platn happtness and rellef and an lnvolvement wtth proJects that had been on the back shelf for a long tlme. Then for Danlel there came a dme of anger and Lack of lnterest tn anythtng. Thls too passed, but tt was unpleasant to see the effects ofwhat had happened to hlm tn school. We came to see thts behavlor as the flushlng out of werythtng negauve he had experlenced ln school...

Matthew dtdn't show hts bottled-up feeltngs ln the same way. He actually

became phystcally tll - stck to hls stomach. It seemed that each ttme he threw up he was getttng rld of some bad moments, He is more voladle, and less stmmerlng by naturc than hts brother... When I was talktng about thls to a fi:lend one day, she told me about slmllar concluslons drawn

by A.S. Netll tn hts bestselltng Sunurtrrhfll. The stalT at the now-famous Sum-

6

merhlll School ln England found that

llds who

cafire to them alter betng tn a

tradltlonal school had a pertod of flushtng out llke what we observed ln both our boys... I found lt helpfulJust to back olf from too many derrands durlng thts tkne, and especlally not to push any acaderrdc pr:actlce. Ttrey would practtcally snarl at me sometimes lf I suggested actlvltles that sounded llke school subJects. Mattherv nearly became lll at the stght of anything resembltng school work for a long flme after he left school. We slmply went on about our weryday buslness when the $oomy moods trIt, and dldn't gtrrc up...

Our chlldren seem to be past the worst of thls now, though ule srlll see traces of lt fmm tlme to tlme. They are branchlng out In many dlrecflons and are rarely dovm tn thedumps...

TESTING IN FRANCE JUIIe Stllbr wdtes Jrcm

Ftrantce:

I absolutely must c-omment on standardlzed testtng, Please, please, please contlnue to flght agahst lt. Whlle there are many wonderful thlngs about lfdng fn Ftance, the French addlctlon to standardized and psychologfcal testtng ls lnhuman. Thelr system of havtng to pass a master test (the baccalaureate) at age 18 wreaks havoc on thelr young people. The lncldence of sulclde fs hgh, the despatr of theyoungwho cannot pass a "bac'ofhfgh enough dllflculty (there are bacs A, B, C, D, etc.) or 6ren pasll at all ts profound. That the system ls completely lnlledble ls crrel and causeg a great loss ofhuman potenflal to Frcnch soclegr. If you cannot pass the 'bac,'you cannot get a decentJob, and wen lfyou pa.ss, but don't pass the rlght one, you wlll nener have another chance to enter trlgher educatlonal lnstltutions, nerrer have another chance to change professlons or to get another dtploma tn another area of study. I have talked to

students whose llves are'over" at 18, and, more polgnantly, IVe talked to parents who are bttter and despalrtng for thetr

chtldren.

We adults would never stand for constant testtng of our work, so we

shouldn't tnlltct tt on our chlldren. It only shows them that the system ls cruel, and doesn't teach them anythtng meaningful.

Intellect should not be bound by tJre narmw llmtts of standardlzed tests and human llves should not be rulned because ofa ptece ofpaper.

SHOULD WE INTERVENE IN CHILDREN'S FIGHTS? Natrlcy

Wdlae

(NYJ unltes:

Jan Hunt asked tn GWS #69, 'Why

should lt be easler to lntervene in the mlstreatment of a pet dog than ln that of a chlld?" She was referrtng, I thfnk, to adult rnlstreatment of chlldren, but what about chtldrens mistreatment of each other? I wonder why lt ls so hard for us to Justiff

lnterventng when chtldren flght.

The other day several neiglrbors with small chlldren were havlng a plcnlc ln the park across the street from our house,

Whtle the grown-ups sat eaflng and talktng at the far end of the park, a ltttle

boy - llttle but toug;h - knocked one of my Itttle frtends, Seth, to the ground, and began pummeltng htm wtth a sflck. I suppose tt was all cldld's play, as they say, but tn fact there was somethtng very determtned about tt. Seth dtdn't cry out, however, and so I wasn't sur€ I should lnterfere. Just as my resolve was weakentng and I was about to nrn over to lrts atd, Seth's 2 l/2-year-old slster Sarah arrtved, carrytng a blg ball. Herotcally she took

alm at the ltttle brute, wlth errery tntendon ofsavlng her brother, but the bnrte qras too qutck. He leapt up, knocked the ball out ofSarah's arms, and knocked her down as urcll. She bounced back up and

ran for the ball, stlll fully lntent on

llberatlng Scth, The drama went on thls vray, wtth me contlnually tempted to nrn orrcr, only to hesltate as once agatn Sarah performed another act of bravery. Ftnally, the boy lost lnterest tn Seth and Sarah and urandered olf, I uras left wonderlng lf any of the adults had notlced what had gone on and tf so, what they thought. I know that I Jelt dtsgusted wtth mys€lf for stmply standtng there whtle Seth and Sarah were beaten up, but I was genulnely confused about what I tlwrtght, or ougfrt to

be thlnktng.

That amazlng thtng about thls scene, you soe, was not only that baby Sarah was brarrc and loyal, but that thts was the llrst ttme I had ever seen her out of her mother's arms of her own accord. She had been born three months prematurely and had wefghed Just about a pound at blrth.

Her mother had stayed wtth her for the three months that she had been ln the hospttal, had breastfed her when she was btg and strong enough to suckle, and had

then carrled her around ever5nvhere.

Sarah dtdn't learn to walk undl she was 2, and erren when she could ventur€ out on her own, she dldn't. If I had tnterfered ln thls scene, I thought to myself, Sarah would nener harrc had the opportuntty to show such lndependence, I urculd have deprlved her of the Job that she, out of love and loyalty, had at least trted to do by

herself.

The next day, on my way to the store, I

met Sarah and her mother, Sarah agatn sttttng comfortably ln her mother's arms.

Assumtng, I guess, that Sarah's mother had made the declslon to let her children 'work thtngs out' as the other boy went about trytng to massacr€ them, I sald pleasantly (and honestly), 'Wasn't Sarah a llttle herolne yesterday, taktng on that tough ktd wtth only a ball?' Instead of agr€etng wtth me and beamlng proudly at Sarah, her mother satd, 'I nerrer know when to tnterfere.' 'Yes,' I surprtsed nyself by saytng, 'Isn't lt strange the way we put people down for lnternenlng when chlldren ffght on the playground, and yet we thlnk tfs terrlble when no one runs to the ald of a person belng mugged on the street? Why do we treat chtldren so dtfferently from the way we, ourselves, rvould expect to be treated ln vlolent

SUPPORT GROUPS AND

COMMUNITIES VERMONT NEIGHBORHOOD tubbb l<{flfrr

o.f Vemont wdtes:

In reference to the dtscusslon of finding communlt5l in reccnt lssues of GWS: In our search for homeschoollng support and lnteractlon for the ctrlldren, we checked out the GWS Dlrcctoryyearc ago and nodced many homeschooltng famtlies ltsted tn one small town tn Vermont (a rartty, at least serrcral years ago). We vlstted tlre area, met the famllles, and de.ctded to rnove there. Nowwe get together wtth the other homeschoolen, sometlmes r€gularly, somedmes pertodtcally - often we swap chtldren or all take fleld trtps together. For me the most tmportant thtng ts the readlly avallable support, advtce, tdeas, poollng of rcsources, and the fact that other homeschoolfurg parents care about our chlldren and spend ttme wlth them, We all have a gr€at relattonshtp wtth the local school and oftenJoln them during spectal days or for presentadons.

In return, our homeschoollng puppet club performs for the school. Ttre school looks at us as great resources and actepts us readrly. In our town of 5OO, wlth about 75 elementaql school chlldr€n, we number 7 homeschoolers (aged 5-13) - not abad

proportion. A frtend of our daughtet's nodced norr nelghbor boys on our road, and when I asked lf they went to school with her, she replted, 'No, they must b€ homeschoolers,' as lf tt uras the normal tlrtng to do, We're so forhrnatel (Actually, the boys Just moved here and condnued gotng to school a couple of towns away,)

HOMESCHOOL CO.OP Caren

frrer (CN writrs:

We are members of a homeschool coop of serrcn famtltes. Each farnlly ts at thls polnt responstble for all of tts own academlcs. We meet trvo days aweek: one day ls a "school' day when there ls a planned acflvlt5r. Some of thesc have been:

worktng wtth a poet, learnlng kntttfng from a Waldorf teacher, and explortng clay wtth a local c=ramlclst. These acuvtues are so wonderful, and the Hds

really enJoy tlrem.

Ttre other day we meet ls usually a Iteld trlp and/or ptcnlc day. We vlstt local places oflnter€st orjust go to the beach and play.

LAND ON B.C. COAST

Barbara IYIcI,earr (566 Morntatn Dr, OceanFalls BC, Vm DO Canoda) wrltes:

I wtsh to extend an lnvltadon to any and all homeschooltng famlltes to

sltuatlons?'

I surprlsed myself because I hadn't thought of lt that way undl I satd tt. But It's true. Sarah wlll have plengr of opportunlfles tn her llfe to show lndependenc€, loyalty, and bravery. She didn't need me to stand back and crcatet}re opportuntty for her then.

discolrcr a unlque communlty - Ocean Falls - 35O mlles north of Vancouver on the BC coast. Itwas oncc pulp and pa.per town and ls nowa gfrost town wtth a complete lnfra-structure and hctltttes for a new town. There ls room herc for maybe two to three hundred more people,

GROWING WITI{OTJT SCHOOLINC #7O

HOMESCHOOLING AN ONLY CHILD fulllll

ARE WE DEPRIVING HER? Mg Stern of Alrrska u.r{tes:

are betng wasted, but I do need to

We would appreclate some lnput fmm members of only ctrlld homeschooltng famllies. My husband and I are \rcry happy wlth our cholce to have a stn$e ctrlld, but It rals€s quesflons about homeschooltng that we must answer soon. Caltlln wtll be 5 Just tn tlme to enter ldndergarten next September, and we must declde what to do before then.

Interacflons wlth other people have always been very tmportant to Cattltn.

Even as a baby she was far more lnterested tn playtng wlth someone her own age than many babtes are. FHendshtps and soclal sltuatlons supercede anythlng else for her: the activltles she most cnJoys are enhanced for her when shard wlth a filend, wen betng read to (one of her very fanorlte occupatlons).

We llve thtrty mtnutes' drtve outslde of a small town ln Alaska" and can be qutte lsolated ln the wtnter. There ls no iuch thfng as a nelghbor or nelghborhood here: lt ls a wllderness Mestyle wlth no telephone or easry contact wlth otlrers.

Ttrere are no chlldren wfthfn walktng dlstance, and few wlthln close vtstttng dlstance.

We earn our ltvlng as commerclal salmon llshers, gilnettfng h the beautlful coastal waters near our home. Actually, th,ls sounds much more unlted an elfort than tt has been. I used to sldpper tlre boat

am alone for a couple of cons€cutirc hours at least two or tluee flmes aweek.

whlle my husband, Mark, worked another

ln the adrrcnture and challenge of the work and contlnued untll I uras forced to qutt fn my efghth month of pr€gnancy. Mark has flshed the boat ever slnce. The all-engagtng, round-the-clock hard urcrk, rougfr urcather, and tough condlflons of urcrklng a flshtng boat are no place for a rrcry young ctrlld. It has always been our dream to flsh together, however, and now that Cattlln ls 4 l/2,we are golng to gPe tt a real try.

Cattltn has enJoyed all but one of the school experlences we have carefully selected for her to date, and we removed her from that one tmmedtately when lt became appar€nt that ltwas not a good envlronment for her. She has attended varlous schools on a very part-time basls and has always done a lot of her learntng at home wlth us. But she loves to be wlth other ctrlldren, school has always been a poslflve experlence for her, and my predtctlon ls that she would probably love the local Hndergarten where one of the teachers ts already a frlend to her, her close frlends wlll attend, and there are wonderful toys and equtprnent and group acdvldes that are unavallable at home.

Job. I delfghted

An addtttonal conslderatlon ts that I

am awrlter, and amrrcry serlous about thls ocrrrpaflon. I became an author when Harper and Row publtshed my llrst novel, and have wrltten another novel slnce then whlch needs r€vlslon before tt can flnd a publtsher. IVe been to busy bekrg an acttue mother, gardener, Itshlng support crew, and Just ltvtng ercryday ltfe fully to work at ny wrtting for qulte some tlme. I don t at all feel that my creatlve energles GRO\ryING WTII{OLN

that part of myself that ts only satisfled by thls tntens€ and solttary acUvtty. I slmply cannot work serlously on a novel unless I Unfortunately, there are no other homeschoolers very near to us here, and no support group arrallable. The near€st horneschoollng famlly ls that of an only chtld who, after one year of homeschooltng, ls r€enterlng school next year because he ts lonely and mlsses hls ffends. The ottrer homeschooltng famllles I knonr of tn thts area are both farntUes wlth serreral ctrlldren. The slbltngs are clear$ each other'e best frlends, need no other playmates, and harrc very few.

Mark and I feel very cnmfortable about rnaldng the declslon to homeschool Caftlfn, and though she's lntrlgued by the local ktndergarten she's amenable to staylng home stnce weVe always had so much fun together. We've done wonderful proJects together, gone on explortng expedtdons, and had great famtly ttmes' We'rrc also done some extenslrrc traveling durlng whlch we were each other's only constant and best cpmPany. IVe read all the homeschoollng books I've been able to dtscorrcr, as well as many other related boks about ctrtldren, learntng, and sch@ls. I am qultc cpnvlnced that growtng wlthout schoollng would be the best

thlng for Caldfn h many lmportant urays, and llnd that I am qulG challenged by the tdea of taktng on thls creatlrrc and Process rrvlth her.

I agr€e wlth manY GWS wrtters about the negatfirc lnteracdons often present ln schml playground sltuatlons, but think that Cattltn may be one of those luclry ctrlldren for whom school ls a happy place soctally. She has grown from babyhood, playgroups, preschool, etc, wlth mone or less the same chtldren, and has a few solld

frtendshlps, tncludtng one best-ftlend relatlonshtp, already. These chtldren wlll all be gotng to school and I fear that

Caltlln, ln betng homeschooled, wtll

somehow be left behtnd by them soctally. I

thtnk my need for wrlthg tlme, the need that both Mark and I feel (that Cdtlln

s€erns not to, yeQ for ttme alone, and nrany other problems ratsed by homescholtng can be worked out. I Just don't want to deprlve rny happy daughter ofthe companlonshlp she needs and enJoys so much.

There are only two answers I've been able to llnd so far. The first ts getflng Caltltn together wlth her frlends after schol and on weekends as much as posslble. Thls ls problematlc tn the wlnter stece our hours ofdayltght are so very short that chtldren go to and retum from

school tn darkness. Drlving condlflons are dtfflcult. Also, several of these children are from worktng famllles whose weekends are thelr only farntly time, and I'm not sure how avatlable these chlldren are for soctallztng wlth peers then.

The other oPPortuntty I see for Caltlln ts soc'tallztng wlth adults. She already has serrcral dtllerrnt adult frtends and teachers, and we wlll cpndnue to lnvohrc tn her Me as many of the wonderful, talented

SHOOLING #70

people of thts placc as we can. Ttuough Iorrnally paylng for sesslons wlth people

who have a passlon for a partlcular thtng, and by stmply tnvolvtng Caltltn tn our adult acttvlttes and relatlonshlps, we can contlnue to make thls world avallable to her. But when, and wlth whom, rrrlll she play the group ctrlldren's games she loves: Farmer ln the Dell. Duck Duck Goose, etc.?

And how wlll she meet new chlldren to befrtend, lrung the relattvely tsolated Me we do?

We'd parflcularly lrke to hear from only chlldren who are bekrg homeschooled. Are you lone$? Do you feel left out of the fun chlldren have together ln groups? How do you llnd frtends?

We arc relatfircly certaln that we wtll declde to homeschool Cdtltn next fall, but tt would help to have some of our conc.erns addressed, some of our questlons answered.

RESPONSES AND SUGGESTIONS We aslcd aa uple ototler lome'

schoolerc wfth onlg cl'tlldrcn to respord to Ceflg's letter. For nore letters on the subJect, see Gl{4S #53.

FTrst, jfrom Jan Hwtt (ON:

I wrote a slmllar letter to GWS when our son Jason, now 8, was 4. I was feeltng overwhelmed by trrs dellghdul but tnccssant comments and questlons and wondered how (wtthout resorttng to schools) I would ever have any ttme to myself. A homeschoollng frlend whose only chtld was then 7 assured me that I was actually nearing the end of the 'no free ttme for Mom- perlod. Now Ican assure gouthat 4 {s the last stretch of that era- Now that Jason ls 8, I have lots of tlme for myself (I almost satd 'enough' flme - but there was nwer enough ltme bJore he was boml) These days I someHmes stoP what I'm dotng to seek hlrn out.

I know tt's dilncult for mothers who haven't expertenced any age Past 4 to bellerre that thtngs wlll ever change. How unforhrnate that schools enter the Plctur€ at thts parflcular tlme when mothers are most tempted to use such r€adtly available substltute help. So, ln terms of your need for personal tlme, I'd say: be paffent thtngs wtll change soon. In the meantime, you mlght try my soludon: I hlred a wonderful teenager to play wlth Jason whlle I was also at home, worklng on my own proJects. I was luclcy - she was homeschoollng and avatlable durlng the day, But you could try thls soluflon at other ttmes, lf necessaqr.

Whenever I hear a parent conslderlng school fcr the reason of goclallzaUon e\ren a parent ln your slhraflon - my flrst thought ts, 'What soclallzatlon?' The only good soclallzatlon I remember frrom my school days took place outstde of school, after school hours, on weekends, and ln the surnrner. Gotng to school for the tlny amount of soclallzatlon tt provtdes ts hke gofng to a bad movle for aI that soclallzadon at the popcorn counter.

School ls a very lnellclent way to flnd real frtendshtp.

8 I thfnk, tgo, that somethlng should be sald (because so ltttle ls errer sald) about the lmportance of learnlng to spend tlme comfortably wlth oneself. There are many adults who have never learned to do that, who are lonely and uneariy when alone.

The capaclt5r to get along with onese[, to enJoy those dmes as well as the soclal times, to make wlse cholces about the use of solttary tlrnes - these too are lmportant aspects of maturtt5r whtch I belleve our socle$r undervalues.

When I asked Jason tf he felt lonely, he replted'Nol' most emphatlcally. When I asked lf he 'felt left out of the fun chtldren have together ln EFoups,' he satd, 'No, because I ltke betng wlth two or three frlends.'The questlon, 'Hour do you llnd frtends?' baffled trtm, probably because he has found hts closest frlends through my hends tn La leche League, homeschoollng, and chlldren's rtghts groups.

He has always found these chlldren more compatlble than the nelghborhood chlldren, and I too have found them more fun to have around.

As a way to meet ltke-mtnded people, could you advertlse homeschooling gettogethers? My expertence wlth thts has been that even a very small group of homeschoollng famllles wlll attract others -

and even create others.

It's tmportant to r€cognlze that a declslon to homeschool does not need to be seen as a perrnanent commltment. If you try homeschooling and later decide not to

cpntlnue, Cattltn would probably - like most hofireschooled cbildren - sflll be at the same (tf not htgher) lercl of achlerrement as her frlends, so she could enter tnto thelr g1ra.de.

It rrdght be helpful to analyze more deep$ your fear that Caltlln's frtends will exclude her ln the future lf she doesn't accompany them to school. Although this ts a valld fear, the truth tt represents ls (I think) not so much the reducfion of time they wtll spend wlth her, but the ldnd of sociallzailon that takes place ln school, whtch encuurages cllques and reJectlon of outslders. It mtght be helpful to reread John Holt's statements on soclalization ln TeachYow Oury hls conclusions have certalnly met the test of tlme for us.

Ttre Alaska weather does seem to present speclal problems, but I would tldnk that the short days should be spent outdoors to get what ltttle natural ltght you can; when urould Cattltn get this essendal lfght ff she were tnslde a classroom all day?

You seem to be dolng a terrlllcJob so far desplte the lsoladon. I thtnk tt ts especlally commendable and stgptflcant that Cattltn has been able to make friends of all ages, whlch ls almost lmposstble when a chlld spends most of her waldng hours wlth age-pe€rsl. I thtnk you should cpntlnue the good workl

Aom Laura

Htchud (NM:

Just looked back at what I wrote about homeschoollng an only child tn GWS #53. It's serreral years later, and yet many of the potnts stlll hold true. The advantages remaln.

Soctallzaflon tmproved whlle we were Itvtng tn Oregon the past couple of years.

The support group I ran flourlshed and

gave Danlel several good frlends. I took an olllceJob (2 days a week) and durlng that

here, where we have nelghbors and a large

tlme Danlel stayed wtth a frlend of mlne who owned a buslness. He kept hlmself occupled durlng school hours, and then played wtth the netghborhood lidds once

we were deprtvtng Emma of her community by taldng her out ofschool. She too has always been very soclable, very attached to her friends. Although she knew that she dtd not want to be ln schml,

they were home. Wtth one boy, we establlshed a regular roudne of the ldds sleeplng over at each other's houses. Danlel seemed to enjoy the amount of tftne he had alone wlthout ever complalntng of betng

lonely.

The older he's gotten, the easler lt's become for me to be lnvolved ln my own proJects. In addltlon, he's more ltkely to get lnvolved ln a task along wtth me when four hands are better than turo.

Thls past year we left Oregon, returned to Connectlcut (where we're odgfnally from) brtefly, then relocated to New Medco. Here, we llve ln a town of about two hundred people. We're slxty mlles from groc€ry stores, etc, We've

started a small local homeschooltreg group, but no one ln lt ls Dantel's age. I'm looktng for other lamtlles wlthtn traveling dtstance, so we can branch out and create an extended famlly once agaln.

Looktng back over the years, I'd say the vartety of ltvtng arrangements has been a plus. Danlel's been exposed to dtfferent ltfestyles and has grolvn because

of lt. He knows how to occupy htmself and enJoys hls own csmpany. He makes frtends eastly and enJoys adults. When I asked htm the questlons Cectly asked tn her letter, he sald no, he doesn't feel lonely, and no, he would not rather have been ln school. About mlsslng out on sibllngs to play wlth, he said, 'l don't see where lt would have made much dtfGrenc.e except you (Mom) would have had less dme

to spend wlth me.'

The thtng that has helped a lot over the years ts that IVe reached out to others to ftnd friends for Daniel. Also, IVe shown by example that I enJoy betng with Dantel and therefore other people will too, if he Just gves them a chance to know him.

To speak to Cectly directly: Try homeschooltng and keep an open mind.

Watch your daughter, You'll see when the lsolatlon ls a posltlve factor and when lt isn't. If a problem arlses, be creative and look for solutlons. As you settle lnto a homeschooling routlne, you may {lnd that Cattltn doesn't want or need other children as much as you thought.

As foryourwrldng career, lt can be done whlle homeschooling. It rntght not be a reeplar schedule of the same tlme er/ery day, but lf lt's a prlorlty ln your llfe you can arrange It. I found that stratghtening the house at ntght gave me "alone dme' with Dantel ln the momlng. Wtth that ttme block set aslde as hls, Dantel could keep trtmself busy for a couple of hours in the afternoon. Once he was tn bed at ntght, I cpuld set aslde a llttle more tlme for

myself.

AndJrom Peggy Robrts (MN:

I

My flrst response to Ceclly Stern's letter was eny. How liantastic lt sounds to be ltvtng ln such a wild and beauttful placc. What a perfect settlng for ralslng a ctrtld - flshlng, wrtttng, ltvlng wlthout a phone. But ofcourse I can appreclate her oonoerns. Even ln our seml-rural area

town ten mlles away, I worried at ffrst that

there were days ln those flrst wlnters after we took her out ofschool (she was 8 then) when she was lonely and bored, and

longed fior a group of frlends at lO o'clock in the mornlng. But always those days passed and she came to see that particular

kind of lonellness more as frustratlon that her frlends had ltrnlted tlme to play.

As she satd, 'Ifs not that I want to be ln school, tfs Just that I want everyone else out here wlth mE.' That's been a good way for us to lmk

at her needs. We are commltted to belng "out here,' free to choose what we're going to leam, wher€ we're gotng today, what exactly we're dolng to do. Emma ls 13 now, and knows what that freedom means on a daily basls for her: lylng tn bed to read, worklng at the food co-op, practlclng dance whenever she feels like tt, betng alone with no pr€ssure to be ltke anyone else. To her that's more lmportant than anything, and lfthe short days ofFebruary are a little bleak and lonely sometimes, well, that's how they are for a lot of people anyway and school won't make a

difference.

Because frlends have always been important to Emma, we have made a special ellort to get her to them and them to her. It's hard to remember, but at llrst that probably meant drlvlng back and forth to thelr houses after school and on

weekends, as Cectly suggests. Eventually, she found a group ofhomeschool frtends to get togetherwtth durtng the days. Her best friend now does go to school, but they see each other every week and share similar acflvldes - dance and theater.

For the past three or four years Emma has becn very actlve ln communlty

theater, audltlontng, taklng classes, performtng, As long as she's planntng for or pardclpatlng tn a theater or dancc producdon, she's happy wlth her whole life. Thts is an enormously rewardtng social experlence, not to mentlon educatlonal, creaUve, fun, etc. And so I have almost stopped thtnktng about what more we should do for her. Once agah u/e have leamed that by letdng her follow her own interests she can meet her own needs.

Of course, I had no way of foreseeing this when Emma was 8, and I dtd rvorry, like Cectly, that Emma's llfe as a sln$e

chtld at home would be too empt5r. She ts old enough to laugh at me for that now.

She has grown to rellsh her solltude, the privacy of her room, and the tlme she has to play around on her own, Just as much as she loves betng wtth her frlends.

[SS:l I hope these letters wlll reassure Cecily (and other parents of only chtldren) that homeschoollng ls lndeed vtable with only one chtld, and can have lts own set of advantages. I was an only chtld, too, and can second Jan Hunf s comment about the value of knowlng how to enJoy belng alone - and tt lsn't as tf belng resourceful ln solltude means betng at a loss wlth other people. We can - tndeed, ought to - be good at both.

GRO1VING WITHOUT SCHOOLING #7O

WATCHING CHILDREN LEARN UNDERSTANDING CONCEPTS A reader wt'ttr's: The Focus tn GWS #67 on malAng connerdons and dlscoverles reminded me of a cnuple of lnstances wtth my daughter Marct (9). I have never questioned her abtltt5r to understand cuc€pts that have been carefull5r explatned to her. But lt was a startltng and refreshtng discovery for me when she lndlcated to me wlth somethtng she sald that she thought a half moon meant there was onty half of the moon up tn the slsy. Many tlmes over the years she has had explalned to her the concept of the earth passlng ln front of the sun, causlng a shadow on the moon. She has even used frutt to show the phenomenon. But when she made that statement I reallzed thatJust because she repeats somethlng that she has been taught, it doesn't mean she understands it.

Another ocample was when I was readlng a slmple sclence book to her and her 5-year-old slster. One ttem explalned thatyears ago people believed the earth was flat, so that tf you sailed far enough you would fall offthe edge. Now, my daughter knows the earth ls round, but she lnslsted that lf you satled far enough you

would stlll sall stratght olf the edge. At Ilrst I couldn't understand what she meant. I kept explalntng that because of gravity you would stay on and sail around but sdll feel ltke you were sarlhg straight.

She sttll lnslsted that lt must be possible to sail stratglrt off.

Flnally I understood that tn her mlnd she could see a round ball and someone

satltng stratght off tt. I explatned to her that tf lt were posslble to satl stralght off you would have to do lt wtth enough force and speed to break thrcugh the force of gavlty llke a spac.eshlp. She seemed to understand. but who knows?

[SS:l Only when we understand the plctures that other people have in their minds - the mental model thev have made of a partlcular part of the *orid - can we wen begln to thtnk about explaining thtngs to them. And understanding other people's mental models ls not always easy, pardcularly tf, ltke many young children,

they lack the words to describe them.

JOINING THE BLUEGRASS COMMUNITY F-rom Ellzabeth Hamtll (CN: We had always told Harrlson that when he hrrned 7, he could choose any musical lnstrument he wanted, and he and I would leam to play tt together. In splte of a background leantng heavtly toward classlcal muslc, Harrtson turned to me one day shortly after hls seventh blrthday and announced that he wanted a banJo. He had thls look ln hls eyes whlch I can't really describe, but fyou ever see such a look on your chtld's face you'll understand why I went out and tmmedtately bought a banJo. It tumed out to be one of the best thtngs I ever dld.

T\lro years later, I am really, really

glad we chose the bluegrass banJo. It's a

loud, fast, rowdy, show-offf lnstrument, wh,lch glves a lild a chance to be loud, fast, rowdy, and show-o$ wlthout damaglng Euly persons or property. It's a frtendly, humorous, outgolrtg, exuberant, and slightly deflant lnstrument - perfectly sulted to Harrtson's personaltty.

It's usually played tn settlngs that are accesslble and frtendly to chlldren, Bluegrass festlwals and 'plc}:tng partles' ar€ usually held outdoors, in beautlful natural setttngs, where younger stbllngs can run around and play wlthout bothertng anyone. Wnter and ntghtttme wents ane more llke$ to be held ln plzza, parlors than tn bars, and farntltes wlth ch,lldren are almost always made to feel welcome.

Bluegrass encourages people to be parflctpants rather than Just spectators.

Every fesuval has manyJam sesslons going on ln addttton to the stage performances, and talented long-Ume plckers are real nlce about encouraging begtnners (espectally ktds) to Join ln the Jams. Thls ls an ldeal way to learn about muslc, and a great way to llve, ln general. Even though the ldds are made to feel welcome, bluegrass errents are not usually destgned espectally Jor chilldren. So lt be<omes a

nratter of the klds Jotnlng the grown-ups

ln a grown-up acdvtty, when they are

ready. They aren't clolstered off by themselves to play 'children's music' wtth a group of other chlldren.

We've found, ln bluegrass people, a wonderful new corununity to feel part of.

We've made lots of great new frlends, espectally the Thlles, whom we met through GWS and corresponded wtth for several months before getttng together at a festlval thls summer. Wow. dld Harrison and thelr son Chrls ever hit lt off. Chris ts a remarkably talented mandoltn player, and those two ktds were unstoppable. They were malidng muslc all over the place, and were the talk of the festtval.

Another advantage of bluegrass ls that the heroes are so accessible. Whlle the netghborhood klds can only dream about someday meetlng their sports or movle or rock star heroes, Harrlson has not only met many of his banJo heroes, he has made good frlends wtth them. He's played together wlth a lot of them (someilmes on stagel) and he w:rltes letters to several who live far away. TheyVe been wonderfully encouragllng and lnsplrlng.

I thtnk Harrlson ltkes tt that there aren't very many other ktds hts age who play the banJo, so he doesn't have to be compared or fecl competitlve. But at the same Urne. when he does meet another lidd banJo player, there ls an lnstant amnfty

and bond between them. Also, plalng the banJo has glven Harrlson the selfconlldencc to tqr other things that look dtlllcult, ltke typlng or Juggltng or catchlng pop fltes. Sometlmes it's not enoug;h to understand tntellectually that practlce makes perfect. You have to know tt flrst-hand.

I told Harrtson from the start that I would learn the banJo along with him, but I fmaglned that tt would only be for the flrst few months, until he got the knack of it on hls ourn. But two years later, here I

GROWING WITHOUT SCHOOLING #7O

am, still pluggtng away at lt. I'm not as good as Harrlson, but I love lt all the same.

And now Finnegan, whoJust tumed 7, ls taklng lessons from the same wonderful teacher that Harrtson chose. We're all having a great tlme whooplng lt up together.

CHOOSING THE VIOLIN A reader urltes: About two years ago, my son Allen announccd that he wanted to lea.m to play the vloltn. I was dead set agalnst lt. I explained to hLlm that I dtdn't loeow a thing about the vtolln, and that we couldn't allord lessons. I happened to have a very cheap half-stze vtoltn lytng around, so I gave htm that. Well, he found awoman who was *tlling to teach hlm for free, and all I had to do was provtde transPortatlon, I didn't wen feel I could do that, because wlth seven ktds, you don't feel tt ls falr to take one to lessons and not the others, and tf you don't have them all dotng the same thing, tt becomes lmposslble. But I went ahead.

He got only about four lessons from that woman, over several months, but he went off by htmself and worked on lt, and when she moved away she got the best violin teacher ln town tntercsted tn hfm.

She told this teacher that Allen had taught himself to read muslc (whtch ts true) and that tf you told Allen anythfng once, he knew lt. Thls man worked out a barter wtth Allen: Allen ls cataloglng hls records in exchange for the lessons the man ls giving htm. Allen has been studylng wtth him for nine months now and is already working on violln conc€rtos - tn perfect tune, wlth erpresslon, memorlzlng the music, and wtth a vlbrato he 0gured out

himself.

Allen has chosen to be a professlonal

violinist. I have been so tntrtgued wlth this whole thtng that now I am startlng to

leam the vtolin tn my sPare tlme. It ls fascinatlngl So tf tt happens that you have a chtld who flgures out what he wants to do tn life, and develops a passlon, be sure to let him do ltl I don't need to tell the GWS readershtp that, but lt ls such a shame that so many pa.rents and schools nwer $ve chlldren the space they need to flgure out what they want to do tn ltfe. Thts ts partly due to the fact that school keeps klds so busy they don't have tlme to think about it, and partly due to the beltef that children should have a 'well-rounded" educatlon, whlch, of course, mea,ns nothing, because children wlll not retaln what they have learned agatnst thetr will,

SCHOOL VS. HOMESCHOOL Adrta Spagttolo oJ Wastfignn urrttes: I used to go to school and am now a homeschooler. I went to school for slx years, preschool through thtrd grade. I have been homeschooling for seven

months.

In school, I ltked math, spelltng, PE, and recess. I ltked lunch the best because I got to talk wtth my frtends for an hour. In school I sat and llstened to the teacher for

l0 half an hour before I could do the work.

Now at home my mom explalns what to do ln a much shorter dme, or I learn to do tt myself, In readlng ln school I would have to read the reader, work ln the workbook, and take the tests. But now at home I always read what I want to read. I am a volunteer worker at the local Lbraqr so I flnd many new books to read. I read so many books that I am good at my Engltsh and spelllng. In school, teachers don't allow chtldren to read what they want.

I thlnk homeschoollng ls better because you can learn what you're lnterested ln, whlle at school you learn what everybody else learns. You have no cholce about the subJects you learn.

And Jrom Adtlo's s{:steri N{cora Spagrwlo:

At school lt seems ltke they were trytng to teach me thtngs I already knew.

Klds at school don't really llke to read because they are not alloured to read what they want. When I was ln thfrd grade, wery mornlng at 8:3O we had readtng for an hour. We usuall5l dtd about ffve or slx worksheets and then read a story. At home, readlng ts readtng. WeJust read our

books.

In math, we learn one thlng and then

ln school I had to do lt over and over egaln.

It took my mom a long dme to declde to homeschool. I hope that tl'rts letter will make a dlllerence ln the ttme that lt takes other parents to c$me to a declslon. go on to the nexL When I was

HELPING EACH OTHER WITH WRITING ISS:I At the MARYIAND HOME EDUCATION ASSOCIATION conGrence tn April I led a wrtttng workshop for a few ctrlldren, most of whom were between I and lO. Usualbr at suchworkshops I focus on the wrlflng that the chtldren do rtght there, durtng the sesslon, but thls flme I asked the chlldren lf they had any questlons that they would llke to ask each other about long-term wrlting proJects that they were lnvolved ln at home. I satd that perhaps they were factng spectllc challenges ln the cpurse of worldng on somethtng and would llke to ask others for suggesdons whtle they had the chance.

One gtrl volunteered tmmedtately,

saytng that she uras worldng on a play and was havlng trouble beghnfng lL She knew what she wanted lt to be about she satd, but she dldn't know how to wrlte the openlng scene.

'I thlnk you

should start wlth the

scene that you're thtnktng of,' another ctrild suggested. -Wrlte the one that made

exarnple and asked for the advlce and oplnlon of the group. After a whlle we went back to the wrttlng exerclses that rr,€ had been dotng. I thought about how helpful the chlldren had Just been to each other.

They hadn't met before the day of the conference. and most ofthem had had no

prevlous experlencc dlscusslng or readlng thelr wrttlng !n a group. These chlldr€n suggested to me that we don t necessarlly need a lot of expertence wlth cooperatlon and g;roup process to be good at lt.

I don't doubt that tf these chtldren and I were to meet r€gularly over a longer pertod of time we would develop a stronger sense ofourselves as a group and become better at helptng each other. I've seen that happen ln other workshops, and ttme and farnllfadty do make a dllference. And yet these chlldren were aL'eady, durtng a stngle meettng of reladve strangers, gvlng each other the ktnd of useful suggestlons that we read about teachers of wrtdng (or anythtng else) urorldng so hard to encturage thelr students to gfve.

I thfnk these chlldren were such helpful workshop members because thelr sense of and trust tn thelr own work was so strong. They were able to talk about how they had handled a pardcular sltuatlon (not knowlng how to begfn somethtng) because no one had ever suggested that there was anythtng wrong with their way of worklng or that they didn't know enough to advlse someone else. No one, for that matter, had ever suggested that being stuck, not knowlng how to begln, was anythlng to be ashamed of, It was hard, sure, and frustratteg, but lt dldn't mean you couldn't ask someone about lt or tell someone what you had done in such a sltuatlon.

If these chtldren ltked the experlence ofgetflng others'ldeas and suggestlons ln a workshop, they may look for tt agaAr,

Strong ln thetr lndtvtdual work, they wtll

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LEARNING FROM SOUP KITCHEN More

you tlrtnk ofthe play, and then you can go back and do the begtnntng later. That's what I do when I'm stuck llke that.'

A couple of the others followed thls

know how to use a group, how to get from

what they urant and how to offer others the help they may ask for.

lt

Jrun

Ellzcrbeth Hanlll:

A few weeks ago we wene at a campout organlzed by local bluegrass muslclans and fans. Someone had bmught an tce cream maker, and a dozen or so ldds had Itned up to take tums cranldng lt. I was busy plalng my banJo wlth another adult beglnner so I dtdn't really pay attendon to the dynarntcs ofthls endeavor, other ttran to be aware ofgeneral hlgh sptrtts, Jostllng, and Laughter.

After the lcc cream was served, one of the mothers who had been helplng supervlse came over and asked me tf the boy wtth the red halr was my son. I admttted that he was, and she asked lf tt was trre that he was only 7. She went on to say that she works as a teacher's atde, and that she has trpo sons of her own near that age, and that she had never beforle seen a ldd so ellectlve at 'llne cpntrol.' Apparently some of the blgger ktds had started shoving and cuttlng ln front of the younger kids, and Flnnegan had sorrrhow managd to keep thlngs golng smoothly wtthout a Elrovrn-up's lntervendon. The mother told me lt uras arnaztng that such a young kld could manage fis "so gent$ and wtth a sense of humor,' espectally slnce he dldn't know most of the blgger

ktds.

I was pleased and proud, ofcourse, but also a ltttle surprlsed. Most of our 'llne standtng' experlences tend to be very ctvillzed, tf bortng - at the grocery store, the library, the movles. I had no tdea where Flnnegan could have plcked up these "llne control- slidlls. But then the next T\resday we went to work at the nelghborhood soup kltchen where we have been ffxtng and seMng brealdast for homeless people for two years now. I realized that Ftnn must see all lrtnds of this stufl golng on when forty or flfty tined, hungry, and often very angry homeless people llne up for breakfast.

They have to regulate themselves gently and buller tt wtth a sense of humor, because the stakes are prctty hfgh lf somebody 'fllps out.'And they have to police themsebves, because the volunteers worklng there - three women, two ldds, and three retlred people - aren't able to do It for them. In f;act, we haven't had a vlolent tncldent yet te sptte ofa few close calls, whlch urcre ellectlvely taken care of by the guests themselves before they blew up. Anyway, there was F'tnnegan, servlng toast, smlllng, saytng good mornlng to each guest, and watchlng wery move that went on tn the ltne snaldng towards hlm.

Chalk up one mor€ for the real rporld.

SIBLINGS WORKING TOGETHER A reader urltes: Prt Montgomcry, Ph.D. Dlrcclor

We have serren chlldren, so soclallza-

tlon ls not a problem. For several years, the lidds dtdn't really have outslde frlends.

Then gradually, orrer dme, we developed friendslrlps wtth a few select famtltes. The

GROWING WITHOUT SCHOOLING #7O

ll famllles all llve way across town, so occaslonally we all get together, but mostly the ldds talk over the phone. One family we see fatrly often trled homeschooltng for a whlle and dectded they dtdn't Iilrc tt. But they thfnk lfs IIne for us to do It, and we have a very good time together, The l<lds trlt on the tdea of maldng tapes of the ghost stortes they rvere telltng each other. They look all over for approprlate sound elfects to lncorporate lnto the tapes. One of the results of ttrls ts that they are wrtttn! wonderful storles. The younger klds were dtctattng to the older ones, but the older ones got ttr€d of lt, so now one of the younger ones declded to type on hls own, and an older slster corr€cts trls spelling. A netghbor who ls a wrlter recently agreed to crldque these storles, and we are arudous to hear what she has to say about

them.

Recently the ktds all dectded to make crafts and sell them, to earn money for college. One thtng they want to do ls make pottery. Slnce we have a wheel but no ldln, we had to flgure out how to work lt, but they already had a solutlon. A Lady they met has a ldln but no wheel, and she had already asked lf we could work a trade. So they called her, and she was thrilled. The only catch was that our wheel ls ln our barn, and our bam was a shambles. So wlthout me even redlzfng what was happentng, thcy dectded to clean up the barn. They dtd a total Job. The only thrng I had to do was take the stufrthey boxed up to the house ln my car.

My klds don't flgbt much. lf they do, I tell them that they harrc to learn to work out tlrelr own squabbles. I don't lntervene unless lt seems rea[r serlous. One flme recrcntly they came to me wlth a dlspute, and slnce I have been studytng law on my own I sat ltke aJudge ln a courtroom. The decislon I handed down pleased nelther slde. But I enforced tt, and explatned that when you have to take your dtspute to an outslder, most of the Ume you ruon't llke the solutlon, so lt works better lf you can work lt out on your own.

ARITHMETIC GAME Eilen Shfpleg (CN utrltes: Btlly (6) and I play our own game wtth *Three numbers whlch he has named friends orrer to vlstt.' I ortghally used lt to illustrate negaHve numbers, or the c.oncept of belng "ln the hole." Now we use It rrror€ broadly, taldng turns gtvtng each other problems to solve. It goes somethlng

like thls:

"You harrc thr,ee fiends over to vlslt and you all dectde to harrc a snack.

Mommy bakes you cookles and gfves you a plate wtth ten cookleg on lt. You all want the same number of cookles, so how many moldes does Mommy owe you?' The ,rnswer Btlly crmes up wtth, after mentally handlng out cooldes and cornlng up short, ls 2.

Sometlmes he adds, sometlmes he subtracts, sometlnes he remembers trls fours-tables and muldplles. A happy array of pathways to the answer, all

exctttng. Btlly loves number-crunching,

And the problems he glves rne arejust as compllcated. He doesn't knonr lt, but he's

helptng me overcome my own math

anxlety,

SELF.DIRECTED 4 YEAR OLD Karun Raskfrr-Yottrtg (CN wrLtes:

In response to Barbara Nelson's letter about pursulng her own lnterests ['ChtIdren Become Interested," GWS #681: I had a slmllar experlence wlth my 4 l/2-year-old son who tn the last two or three months has become lndependent enougft to PLy and create on hls own tn the way I had always hoped he would. Suddenly he's lnventtng a constant stream of new games, readlng books on hls own (fourteen one memorable day) and, as he says, 'dolng math frantlcally.' Probably he Just got ready. But also lt's only been rec.ently that I've been clatmtn! parts of the day for myself. For slx months I have been avldly playlng classlcal plano, and lovtng tt for the flrst dme ever. IVe also been pursulng my wrtttng more actlvely. Now qulte often Jeremy ls too busy wlth some pursult o[ hls own to be lnterested tn anSrthtng I can do for h,im. So don't be afrald to be less available; tt didn't work for us right away, but now Jeremy's gone to townl

LIVING WITH 2 YEAR OLD Mlchnel Duggan MO) wrltes:

The lntervlew wtth Marc McGarry lrt GWS #69 vras very lnterestlng, espectally as tt echoed thoughts that I have had

recently concernlng how, and why, we llve

wlth our daugfrter.

It seems that most of our friends and famtly are 'ralslng' thelr chtldren. They don't seem to glve any thought to what

they are dotng and why. They Just streamroll ahead, and the person who most often gets flattened ls the child. Ifyou sayyou are ralslng your chlld, that tmplies that he ls current\r less than you but someday, wtth lots of help, he mtght reach your

level, In our house we try to remember that urc ar€n't ratstng Jessle, we are lrdng wlth her. She ls an equal member of our famtly, ls a complete person unto herself, has her own standards whlch she must live by, and her own destlny that she must fulllll for her ltfe to be complete, Of c.ourse, slnce she is only 2, much of thls can't be acted on ln any more meanlngful way than that we allow her the room and oPPortuntty to discover all these wonderful thlngs about

herself.

OurJob as her parents ls to teach her the rules that we all have to llve by tn order to ltve together. One of the very flrst nrles we made was that we weren't gotng to be screamed at. WhenJessle feels the need to scream she ls welcome to do so, only lt wtll be tn a roomwhere we put her, away from us. What's lmPortant to keep ln mind ls thatwe don't do thls because we Gel that she should respect us and notyell at us. We don't do tt to punlsh her, we do lt because screamlng at people ls not an acccptable way to say somethlng, and we don't feel we have to hsten to tt. She has gotten the ldea, and we don't have to do thts as much now.

When we go to parks or to speclal places we aren t dotng lt to 'expose her to all those good experlences," as our frlends mtght say. We do lt because we like to go

GROWING WITHOIJT SCHOOLING #70

places together and have fun and watch

her grow-and learn. I'm convlnced that the lntentlon wlth whlch you do somethlng is at least as lrnportant as the thtngyou do. If you have fun wtth your children-only becauseyou feelyou are supposed to, you oonvey to them the tdea that they aren't worth havlng fun wtth Just to be havlng fun, that everythtng has to have an ulterlor modve, and that most of these hldden motlves are dlrected at changtng them.

THINKING ABOUT MONEY AND INDEPENDENCE Narcg Wailoce fNU urrttes:

It ls easier for me to understand why we get bamboozled tnto thtnktng that we have to teach children about chemlstry or lonA dtvlslon than tt ls for me to understaid why so many of us belleve that we

have to teach chtldren about money. I realtze that people ltke Marc McGarry who sald tn GIVS #69 about trls work for the Cambrtdge Psychotherapy Instltute, "We try to help klds become financtally responslble for themselves early on' have onbr good tntenttons, but money, after all, ls a completely ordtnary, everyday thtng. Chtldren can't help but

leam about

tt

pardcularly slnct ln so

rnany ways tt s5rmbollzes the adult world that, for better or for worse, they a.re so desperate to be part of. Gtvtng chlldren exeiclses ln llnanctal responslblll$r as a way to help them learn ls completely unnecessaqr. Chtldren not only watch us eam money, spend moneyr save money, and worry about money every daY, but lf we let them, chlldren create thelr own

sltuations for learntng llnanctal resPonstbillty, at first ln thetr play and later ln their datly llfe.

I think lmmedlately of Anlta Glesy's

lovely story, also ln GWS #69, about her oldei slster Danile who, at 18, declded that she could eam enough money to pa,y her

rent and ltvlng expenses, 6/en thoug;h her

parents were perfectly happy to help h9r out. Nobody pushed her to be tndependent nobody gave her any lessons tn flnanctal

lessons weren't necessary. responstblll$.

On a lesser scale there ts my daughter

Vlta, now 14, who earns money glvlng vlolin lessons and has declded to pay for all of her art materlals (a rather hefty output, actually). She knows full well that I would go to the ends of the earth to buy her paints and canrrasses, butas she_says, as long as she can, she would ltke to buy

them herself.

One reason that Vlta feels so free to use her nron€y to buy art materlals ts that she knows that tf there ever @mes a ume when she doesn't have the money, tt wtll be flne. No one would ever conslder her a failure. Because there ts no pressure on her to eam the money or to spend lt ln tlrts way, she feels secure enough to try.

Anlta Glesy, tn talldng about her slsters steps tourard lndependenc'e, Put lt beauttfully when she satd, 'If you know you can't go back, lt's harder to go forward.' When we declde to teach ctrlldren

Ilnanclal responslbtlt$r, and requlre, for examole. that thev assume the endre part of thetr ftnanital burden ior "omethe lmpresslon llves, we often glve them

t2 that they can't go back - that urc uron't let them. Our chlldren then become rrpre afrald than e\rcr to attempt lndependence. ' I wasn't alnrays so clear about thls.

When Vlta and her brother Ishmael urcre younger, I npuld have read the tntervtew wlth Marc McGarry and nrondered, for the hundredth ttme, |f I wae wrong not to suggest or even lnslst, that the ctrtldren earn nroney by dofng household chor€s, and begln to buy thelr onm necessldes. I used to urorry because I nerrer asstgned Vlta and Ishnrael chor€s. I asked them to help out when I needed help (and they gladly dfd), but thaturas dl. Iuprrted because they dtdn't harrc pocket nnn€y and the experlence of spendtng tt, but gtvlng them an allonrance s€enrcd totally arbttrary and paytng them to help me when I really needed help seemed ludlcrous.

I was so busy worrytng about what I rnfght be dotng rvrong that I uns bllnd to all klnds of thlngs ttrat rpe were dolng dght" Vfta and Ishmael were constantl5r worklng on moncy-maldng schemes ptcldng and selllng blueberrles, wrttlng and productng plays and charglng admlsslon, runntng a netghborhood newspaper. Foryears they sarrcd to buy a gultar, somethtng I would harrc bought for them tf theyd asked, but they nwer dtd aslc All that, ln a way, urall thelr fantasy play, fed and nourtshed, I now reallze, by our real Me famtly ffnanclal dealtngs.

Nerrer for thelr own good, but slmply

because we had no secrets, I uras always open wtth Vtta and Ishamel about our

famtly money slhratlon. As members of the family, they knew about our nnanctal constralnts and how we thought about setthg flnanctal prtortHes, Ttrey knen', not because \rre made a polnt of teUtng them, but stmply because nnn€y ts a btg part of what makes a famtly functlon. I us€d to srnlle when they talked about'our

Job,' 'our salary,' or'our savlnls.' Now I reallze how lmportant that was.

Vtta and Ishmael are practtcally

glrouirl up now, and wlthout a sln$e lesson ln ffnanctal responstblltty Vtta, as I satd, buys herown palnts, and Ishmael, at 17, ls studylng muslc ln Phtladelphta and does

hls ovm grocery shopptng, wrttes the checks to co\rer hls rent and uttltty btlls, and buys hls own clothes when neoessary, The transltlon has been easy. Although Ishnael rrlles most$ on hls pa.rents to keep trts bank account from runnlng dry, he works alr an aooompanlst or does occaslonal stage managtng and contrlbutes what he can to lrts ltvlng expenses. It has been thls easy, I thlnk, because Ishmael sdll thtnks about 'our money.'

always wtll.

Looklng bach I wonder lf Vtta and Ishmael nerrcr wtrlned for ten-speeds or fancy toys because they felt the responslbtltty of betng part of a fam$ wtth real budgetary concerns. What glets us lnto trouble, then, ls when we (even tnadvertently) exclude our chlldren from the honest to goodness conoerns of the famtly.

HOW ADULTS LEARN TAUGHT HERSELF LANGUAGES We rerclelttrd. a wrptedented runtbrr

to Cirl,dg Hottdgstell's teq,llest Jor lndomvtbn obut Natitse Arnerlcan languages ln GI,IXS *8. Weln foruntdd. these responses to CtdA (wlo oJ responses

nust as arcsult, b aneryertontle

atd. can prcfublg ansu:er otlers' qtnstlonsl and. un prbt lere tle

subJect bg now,

response tlrat seems to

b

oJ

the nost

gereralhtercsL as tt ls as mtrcho}rut Itout adtdts canlearn sonetltdtg new as It fs about leamlrq Natlw Amerban Ianguages.

A reder

rurl,tes:

I have played around wlth several Natlrrc Amerlcan languages, lncludtng Tohono O'othham (Papago), Hopt, Inuptaq (an EslCmo languaSe), and Hawallan. The nrst thfng I dld uras get a copy of the Btble ln the language I uranted to learn. The advantage of thts ts that the Blble contalns a lot of storles, and a c-opy ls usually falrly cheap. In the case of Hopt, trtbesmen wene lnvohred fn maHng sure the text was ldlomatlc, so that transladon ls not a Itteral translaEon of the En$tsh. The

Fun & Exciting Way to Learn Math

Create

Even when he dtdn't personally eam lt or spend tt, he nerrer felt separated from the ways ln wtrlch we earn money ln the real world. And he knows how to ask for help tn deallng wlth the problems he confronts.

But then I ask for help too, and surely

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Inuptaq New Testaments contalned Engllsh alongstde, and thls helped. I vras able to get these Blbles from the Amerlcan Blble Soclegr ln New York Clty.

When I got a copy of the Blble, I began

to make myself a dtcdonaqr. The uny I dtd thls was to llnd some vers€s where there was a lot of repefltion, and trted to declde whlch Engllsh word corresponded wlth the word ln the other language. I made a list of these words, ln alphabedcal order, on my computer, llsilng the other language ffrst. In thls uray I uras able to get a few words te my dtcdonary, As I moved to verses that had less repedtlon, sometlmes I would want to check a parflcular nrord to make sure I was rtght, To do thts, I would look up the word tn an En$tsh cunclrdance, and look up a fery of the verses. Thls showed me whether I uras rtght or wrong, After I dtd thls for a whlle, I contacted the WycltlTe Btble Translators, or the Summer Instltute of Ltnglulsflce (same group) tn Denver. They put me tn touch with mlsslonarles who had worked on the language tn whtch I was tnterested. They also told me where to get dlcttonarles and mllecdons of natlve storles, In sotne cases I could get tapes ofporflons ofthe New Testament and by reading along wtdle llstentng to the tapes, I could learn how to pronounce the language.

Someflmes the mlsslonarles gave me hints on pronunclation and gr:ammar. I could llgure out some of the grammar by noflclng patterns ln the wnrds I was putting tn my dtcttona5r, I always put tn the dlllerent parts of the verbs, and once I had enough of them I could llgure out the endtngs and the root words. Somedmes the misstonarles polnted out some speclffc grammar rule that would be parttcular hard to dlscover on one's own. For example, the Hopl uaord "noqrC'means "and," but only when the subJect ofthe second clause ls dlfferent from the subJect of the flrst. The mlsslonaqr told me that tt had taken them serreral years to flgure thts out.

I hadn't guessed ttyel but I had flgured out that the word meant "and" and that there was more than one word for "and."

It was great fun to see how accurate my dlctlonarles were. They really erceeded rny expectatlons. I was able to shour them to people who spoke the languages, and they were quite lmpressed also. I can't begtn to descrtbe the thrtll I experlenccd when I learned enougfr words to read my first complete sentencel Horneschoollng for many years got me thlnklng about how to teach myself, and I developed all these methods myself.

GROWING WITHOUT SCHOOLING #7O

lll

JOHN HOLT'S BOOK AND MUSIC STORE IMMUNIZATIONS: The Reality Behind The Myth

by Walene Jame.s #1136 $12.95

fint picked

up this book, it was for more informagrowing my feeling that immunization was not a tion to back up good idea. It is the best boolc on the subject that I have seen. It is researched and documented thoroughly, and it is very well'

When I

wrisen.

Section I includes a chapter on the dangers of immunizations, which provides convincing evidence that immunizations are far from harmless. The chapter includes both statistics and personal stories of deaths and injurias that have resulted from all forms of immunizations. Another chapter offers alternative explanations for the decline in infectious diseases during tltis century (which raditional medicine usually attributes to widespread immunization). The section ends with helpful informa' tion on building natural immunity to disease, with personal stories attesting to the effectiveness of the methods.

The second section of ttre book looks at the basic relationship between the body and micro-organisms. The author shows us that the germ themy of disease, which leads !o the current medical practice of viewing health care as a fight against germs, is not well-proven. The book presents an alternative theory of disease, which leads to the practice of building health, creating a strong environment in the body so that it is not receptive to the gtowth of pathogenic bacteria.

As I read on in the book I found, to my surprise and delight, a chapter about the difference between indoctrination and education. This wonderful chapter points out common tools of propaganda. It encourages and helps us to question "what everybody knows." This chapter is in the last section, which deals with the implications of a coercive health care system in a democratic society. The author tells of her family's legal battles over the decision not to immunize her grandson, and of their ensuing political efforts. She finishes the section with a view of a more hopeful health care system.

This book should be a great help to anyone whose child faces possible immunizations. I recommend it strongly.

- Theo Giasy

NONTOXIC AND NATURAL: How to Avoid Dangerous Everyday Products and Buy or Make Safe Ones

by Debra Dadd #1176 $9.95 This is a book that we use frequently. It has good information on a wide variety of producs - toxicity, alternatives, sources of altematives, and instructions for homemade alternatives. Among the products listed are foods, cosmetics, office supplies, building materials, air and water filters, cleaning products, pesticides, clothing and linens, and appliances. Not everything is covered, of course, but it's amazing how complete the listings are.

We feel that it is very important to avoid as many toxic substances as possible, especially since pollution in general

seems to be increasing. We cannot avoid all harmful substances; that's why we try to avoid as many as we can. Our bodies seem to be able to tolerate quite a lot, but it doesn't seem 0o be a good idea to push our tolerance to its limis. And some of us are more

sensitive than others.

We have ux'dNontorl,c and Nuural as a guide to clear the poisons out of our home. We now use only a very few cleaning products for a variety of purposes. We are much more careful about body care products, too. lvlany chemicals can be absorbed by the skin and cause obvious reactions, or stress o internal organs. We've gone from reading labels on food products to reading labels on everything.

Ttrere is a gmd list of mail order sources in the book tlnt we have found to be very helpful. Often safer products are

unavailable locally.

I recommend this book highly to everyone interested in keeping their homes and workplaces as safe as possible.We still have to make choices, but this book can give us the information we need to choose wisely. It is very complete and is quite easy Mary Van Doren to use.

-

TROUBLED CHILDREN: at School Phobia

A Fresh Look

by Paricia Knox #1196 $8.00 Each time we reprint an article from the popular press about school phobia - that relatively new disorder that seems !o be spreading as rapidly as attention-deflrcit disorder and hyperactivity - I am annzed,all over again, at the way we choose to interpret the fear of a child who refuses to go !o school. We would rather think that a child is suffering from a strange and difficult disorder than ask whether ttrere is infact sotruthing to be $raid of. Suppose a child is afraid to go to school because every day he gets hit on the playground? Or because his teacher yells at him? Or because he is going to be held accountable for assignments that he doesn't fully understand? What do we do to such children when we not only require them to go to school despite their fears but also imply that those fears are irrational, that the problem is in the child rather than in the external sinration? I'm afraid of the answer.

British homeschooler Paricia Knox apparently asked herself similar questions, and the result is the book Troubled Children: A Fresh I'ook at Sclnol Plnbia. She writes in the

introduction:

Until I had personal experience of fte problem [of school phobial, when my own child became school phobic, I was fully in the belief that all such children were treated in a humane fashion. But not so. I was told to send my suicidal child to school, o ignore the suicide threat, and to allow the EWO ("truancy officer") to dmg her to school each day.

I joined Education Otherwise (an association of parents who teach their children out of school) and discovered ttrat I was not alone. There appeared to be many other families who had had similar experiences, where the educational and psychiatric personnel had

John Holt'r

2269 Massachusetts Ave.

BooL rnd Uurlc Store

either disregarded the problem as non-existent, or had meted out harsh treatment to the family, with tfueats of court cases, care mders, and psychiatric hospitals.

Patricia Knox corresponded with families who had dealt with school phobia, and researched the theories behind the label and the ways in which societies (with emphasis on British) respond to the problem. She brings all this information together in her self-published book, and offers some alternative ways !o think about children's refusal to go to school, exploring legitimate reasons to fear school, for example, and discussing the option of home education.

Some GWS readers have had direct experience with the schml phobia label, and they will surely find much of use in this

book. But we would not have added this book to our catalog if we thought it was relevant only to that specifrc group.The book is important because it reminds us of what can happen if we deny the validity of what children (or adults, for that matter) say they feel. It encourages us to question our tendency to think, as we so often do, in terms of disease and disorder. If a child says, "I'm frightened," or cleady shows us that she is frightened, do we assume that she has a "fear disease" - a phobia? Again, do we ever question the world (in this case, school), or do we always locate the problem within ttre child? These are important things to think about, and Paricia Knox, backed by her research and her own experience, has a lot to say on the subjecl Her book deserves our attention.

Susannah Sheffer

LOVE, MEDICINE AND MIRACLES

by Bernie Siegel #1158 $8.95 When John Holt was looking for a surgeon to remove the cancerous tumor in his leg, he wanted to find someone who would be open to alternative cancer Eeatments as well, and who would be interested in hearing the patient's ideas about his neatmenL Friends recommended Dr. Bernie Siegel of Exceptional Cancer Patients (ECaP) in New llaven, Connecticut, and John did indeed end up choosing Siegel as his surgeon. Since rhen, Siegel's llnokLave, Medicine and Miracles has been on the bestseller list for weeks, and Siegel (actually, he likes to be called Bernie) has traveled around the country talking about why his cancer patients don't seem to die when they're supposed to.

The patients in ECaPare exceptional because they defy the expectations of the medical establishment. They sunive illnesses that ttre textbooks say are terminal. Bemie Siegel is an exceptional surgeon because he doesn't think he knows what's best for his patients. He listens to them, helps them explore the possible conditions in their lives before they got sick that might have made them more vulnerable to it, and then together doctor and patient plan a course of treatment.

From the book's introduction:

SirWilliam Osler, the brilliant Canadian physician and medical historian, said that the outcome of tuberculosis had more to do with what went on in the patient's mind than what went on in his lungs.He was echoing Hippocrates, who said he would rather know what sort ofperson has adisease than what sortofdisease a person has. Louis Pasteur and Claude Bemard, two of the gianfs of nineteenth-century biology, argued all their lives whether the most important factor in disease

Cambrtdge, MA02l4O

was the "soil" - the human body - or the germ. On his deathbed, Pasteur admitted ttrat Bernard had been right, declaring, "It is the soil."

Despite the insighc of these eminent docton, medicine still focuses on disease, giving it a failure orientation. Its practitioners still act as though disease catches people, rather than understanding that people catch disease by becoming susceptible to the seeds of illness no which we are all constantly exposed. Although the best physicians have always lnown betrer, medicine as a whole has rarely studied the people who dan't get sick. Most doctors seldom consider how a

patient's attitude towards life shapes that life's quantity and quality.

Bernie Siegel has decided to study people who don't get sick, and people who get betrer after they do get sick. Most compelling are the stories that the patiens themselves tell in those pages, stories that are not glib, not simple, not about easy miracles, but about thinking about health and illness in new ways. Like Tr o uble d C hil dre n, and li*:e I mmuniz atio ns, I-ave, Medicine and Miracles invites us to question the traditional medical model and to think of health - just as GWS readers think of education - as something we can make for ourselves, rather than as something we can only sit back and hope

given.

-

o be

SS

EARN COLLEGE CREDIT FOR WHAT YOU KNOW

by Susan Simosko #1116 $8.95 For many years, John Holt suggested ways for homeschoolers to translate inO the language of school educators what has been learned through life experience. As a result, most homeschoolers are adept at documenting their children's normal household activities as language arts, science, math, etc. whenever school officials - or worried inJaws! - demand accountability.

Earn College Credil for What You Know extends that process to the college level, offering well-organized, methodical instructions for obtaining college credit for skills acquired outside of school. Although the author tends to glorify the college degree pursued for its own sake, her advice is useful o anyone who desires a head start on degree requirements or needs a degree as ajob ticket. She includes examples ofpeople in a variety of situations, evaluates their individual skills and expertise acquired through job experience, hobbies, volunteer work, personal reading, etc., and explains how to apply for subsequent credit from a college with a nontraditional degree program (a lengthy college directory is included).

As a graduate of such a progam (with a mish-mash of credits from five different colleges), I can vouch for Simosko's explanations of how colleges think about learning and what they are willing to grant credit for. She is very skilled at manipulating that insider's knowledge o the applicant's advantage in her instructions for compiling a professional-looking portfolio.

Although Simosko obviously didn't have homeschoolers in mind, her book is a valuable tool for those of us already accustomed to modi$ing traditional educational methods to meet our needs.

Sue Radosti

-

(We have a limited number of copies of Earn C olle ge C r edit for W hat You Know, so please indicate whether you would like a credit or a refwd if we are unable to fill vour order for this book.)

22

.Ioha Holt'r Boot and Mudc Store

69 Massachusetts Ave.

STORIES THEY'LL REMEMBER

by Frank Inrd #1192 $5.95

This gentle, modest book is only 106 pages long, but it holds a wealth of information about how you can share your values with your children by telling them stories abut your own life and gowing up. Unlike so many books about parenting, this book doesn't tell you what your values should be, but instead focuses on how to use a time-honored technique fc getting one's point across without being preachy or hysterical. Of course, we are all probably going to be preachy and/or hysterical with our children at some point in our lives, and this book is not about how we can avoid these moments. What it makes clear is how, when the storm has passed or when the moment seems ripe, we can share stories about our experiences with our children and shed some light on their own dark moments by letting them know we've been there too and, most important, by telling them honestly how things rurned out for us. In doing this we provide our children with more real choices for their future behavior.

By stories Frank Lord does not mean fiction. He means real, true-life stories, sometimes only a few sentences long, but that have relevance to a given situation. These stories can be about comfort, empathy, achievement, failure, industriousness, illness, good health; any topic, really, that allows us to reveal our past to our children in a nurturing manner.

What I like most about this book is how form and content are so neatly tied ogether. From the inroduction on, Frank lord makes most of his points not with expository paragraphs but with stories. This approach remind me so much of GWS, and the innumerable stories that are told in each issue. Our variety of experiences tell us, and our children tell us, that despite the generalities each of us is unique, and we need to reach and be reached by ottrers in our own ways, so we need a multitude of stories to reach a multitude of people. Frank Lord does well to remind us that storytelling is our ancient and effective method ofreaching one another, not only on the conscious level but especially on the unconscious level, and that it is a highly effective method to use with one's family. Here is a story from

a PACKING

Cambrldge, MA02l4O

the book:

When Tom was worried about Michael's use of the family car to drive to a party clear across Chicago, or rather worried about him making it back home, he picked a time when he and his sixteen-year-old were changing the oil in the car to lell him about his own experience

thirty yean earlier.

"Your grandfather told me when I was about

even finding the car.

"After I finally located our old beat-up Chevy, I poured myself into the front seat and sat there for a long time trying to think. I finally decided I didn't belong on the highway so I stumbled back ino the church basement.

Nobody from our neighborhood was still there and it was maybe two in the morning, so I found a phone and called a cab.

"Of course, when I got home I didn't have nearly enough to pay for the taxi, so I had to go in and wake up your grandpa. It was so late I was afraid he'd be mad, but he wasn't at all. And the next day your grandma didn't say a word about it either.

"Dad and I bonowed a neighbor's car and picked up the Chevy from the church parking lot, and then we went out to a pancake place for breakfasl I felt kind of dumb tlrat next day, but I figured it was beuer than killing somebody - maybe me. I guess it worked out all right.

"Hey, the same offer goes for you. I'll foot the cab bill for you to get home if you know you shouldn't be putting that key in the ignition."

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your. age

that if I ever had the car and got to drinking, he'd pay for a cab to bring me home. He said that we'd figure out how to get the car back the next day.

'Well, one of my friends had to get married when we were in high school and they served champagne at the wedding. His older bnothers kept filling up my glass after I had aken a sip or two so I couldn't really tell how much I'd had to drink. I figured I was okay until I walked out o the car to drive home. I was so dizzy I had a hard time

Paclidng & Delivery (see chart):

.Ioha Holt'r 2269 Massachusetts Ave.

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BooL end Murlc Store

Tom had rattrcr painlessly fulfilled his parental responsibility of adding another choice to Michael's unconscious store of behavioral possibilities. This adolescent is going to have a hard time getting behind the wheel after drinking, without considering the possibility of a cab. ...At another level the sory promises that Tom won'tbe angry if son Michael drinks too much as long as he behaves responsibly. The story neatly separates ttrc virnrally inevitable over-drinking while learning about alcohol from the quite separate issue of drunk

driving.

Frank lord gives us many good examples of sories o tell children from age four on, and suggestions for when to (and

when not o) tell a story, how to choose a relevant story, how to tell it, and how to end it. On this last point, he shows his deep trust in and respect for children:

For me, the hardest part of telling children a story is knowing when to quit. The temptation to add a moral at the end of a well-old tale is sometimes overwhelming.

We don't feel the need o insult ou contemporaries by explaining our stories, but that often happens when we're dealing with children, especially our own. We're so anxious that they "get it" we forget o end the story with a chuckle or a pensive stare into space, giving the youngsters some time to decide for themselves what the story means.

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Pat Farenga

A SECOND LOOK:

we'd ltke to remtnd you about some of the books that have been tn our catalog for a whlle, and that we think areJust as good and lmportant as when we llrst added them.

Compelllng Bcllef: The Culture of Amerlcan SchoollnS, by Stephen Arons. #212 $9.95. In our lntervlew wtth StephenArons i:e GWS #53, he said, 'We're all trytng very hard to be lndMduals, but at the same tlme we ltve ln a totally tnstttuttonalhed soclety... Homeschoolers come along and make a declaraUon of thelr firdependence from that entlre fabrlc, and thls provokes ambtvalence in the minds of the rest of us." Arons's book ts about why schools feel threatened by homeschoolers, and why the confllct between tndivtduals and lnstttutions is so deeply Amerlcan.

Dlaloguee Unth Chlldren, by Gareth Matthews. #242 $f3.5O. Matthews shows us,lnhls dlscusston of chtldren's responses to phtlosophtcal questlons, how to lnvolve chtldren tn adult work and how much we can benefit from thelr contrlbutlons.

Conclse Oxford Dlctlonary of Muslc, edtted

by Mtchael Kennedy. #22O $13.95. In her review of thts book tn GWS #56, Rachel Barton wrote, "All music lovers - chlldren, adults, professionals, amateurs, concert-goers - will want thls book. It is like an educattonal guidebook to the foretgn country of muslc, complete with tts language, htstory, culture, famous people, and lots of diverse tnforma-

tion."

How To Lle Wlth Statlstlcs, by Darrel Huff.

#360 $3.95. Everyone who wants to prove a potnt seems to be able to provtde stattsttcs and graphs.

Thts book helps us make sense of them and shows us how to spot the misleadlng ones. Entertaining, easy to read, and vitally important. Makes an excellent way to study math at home, especlally when used to tnterpret current news statlstics.

In Chrlstlna'g Toolbor, by Dlanne Homan.

#374 $4.OO. Ayoung gtrl uses tools to flx and bufld

things around the house. If you're looktng for books whose gtrl characters are capable and tnteresttng, thts book ts a good one - Chrtsttna ts a good model of female competence.

ln Els Cap, by Jrm Keynen. #458 $7.OO. Beautlful, almost mythtc downon-the-farm tales: about anlmals betng born, getttng slck, and dytng, and about llfe and death, happlness and grtef. The fine art of storytellxrg at lts best.

The Man Who Kept Clgare

None of the Above, by Davfd Owen. #sfO $7.95.

John Holt called thts book a "derrastattng erpose of the Scholastlc Aptttute Test... and. by extenslon, the whole idea of standardlzed multtple chotce tests.' It ls also good, even entertatnlng, readlng, and, lnctdentally, one of the test-preparatlon books around.

Survey of Washlngton Ststc Eometchoolers, byJon and Wendy Wartes. #73O $1O. These 1984 survey results, made for the use of legtslators, are tntere-sttng and useful, and a helpful model for those interested ln conductlng their own state survey. 66 pages.

Unplugglng the Plug-In DrrE. by Marie Wlnn. #8O1, $7.95. Ifyou want to klck the TV habtt but need help, ideas, and support, thls ls the bookto read.

Watchtng less TV ls easler wlth support from frlnds and famtly, and thts book draws heavtly on real-lfe examples to show how tt can be done.

Chlldren Learnlng, by BarbaraTtzard and Martin Hughes. #848 $16.00. Important Brttrsh study concludes 4 year olds learn much more at home in datly life than in arttficial nursery school activities. At home, chtldren asked interesting quesUons and had real conversatlons: at school, they mostly answered adult questions ln monosyllables. Good for ffghtfng the trend to tnsUtutlonallze the very young.

YoungJ

t7

FOCUS: EDUCATION FOR PEACE HELPING CIIILDREN GROW INTO PEACEFTTL ADI'LTS Jofut Hdt wrcte In

tlv

mld-796Os:

...Tr:adlttonal educatlon, sometlmes lnadvertently but quite often dellberately, denles chlldren the ldnd of e4periences that would help them grow up to be the lidnd of people who, being at peace wtth themselves, are ready and eager to live at peace wlth

other human belngs.

Our efforts for peace are doomed to fail unless we understand that the root causes of war are not econornic conllicts or language barrlers or cultural dlfferences but people - the kind of people who must hanre and will flnd scapegoats, legidmate targets for the dlsappolntment, envy, fear, rage, and hatred thd accumulates ln thelr daily lives. The man who hates or despises his work, hls boss, hls netgfrbors, and above all htmse[, will ltnd a way to make some other man suller and die for the sense of freedom, competence, df$fty, and worth that he himself l;acks. There will alurays be others to help htm, poltdcal leaders ready to appeal to and make use of his unconsclous but lnexhaustible and lnsatiable deslre to do harm.

The fundamental educaffonal problem of our time is to find ways to help children grow lnto adults who have no vrish to do harm. We must rccognize that traditional education, far from havtng ever solved thds problem, has never tried to solve it.

Indeed, its efforts have, lf anythlng, been in exactly the opposite dlrectlon. An tmportant alm of tradiHonal educatlon has always been to make children lnto the kind of adults who were ready to hate and kill whoever thea leaders might declare to be their enemies...

Human socie$r has never until now had to come to grips with the source of human errlldotng, which ls the wish to do evil. It has been suffIclent, undl now, to control human behavior, to prevent most people from robblng, lnjuring, or killing their neighbors by thrcatenlng to puntsh ttrem tf they do, because if anyone wanted badly enough to hurt other people, legtttmate victims could always be found. Ttre moral codes worked, at least fairly well, wlthtn their lknfted frames of reference, precisely because there was always an escape, there always were people whom it was all rlght to hate and lnJure as much as you wished. And humantty was able to alford the escape clause, was able to survive the ldlltng and destmctlon of enemies that our moral codes allowed us, because, after all, our meErns of destructlon were so limited, and because lt took most of our tlme and energf just to keep ourselves alive...

But no morle... The means to kill tens and hundreds of mllllons of people, even to destroy all life on earth, lie ready at hand... The man who does not value his owrr liG, and hence feels that no ltfe has value, may not be able to make Doomsday machlnes ln hls own basement, but with the vote, or even without It, he can get hts governments to make them, and eventually to

usethem...

Seen agalnst thls background and tn this light, the argument of A.S. Netll of Summerhlll. that the business of educadon ls above all else to make happy people, must be acknowledged to be, not frlvolous and sentlmental, as lts opponents cl,alm, but in the htghest degree serious, wetghty, and to the point. For the sake of our survlval we must lndeed learn to make happy people, people

who wlll want and wlll be able to llve lives that are full, meaningful, andJoyous. We may be able to do more than this (though Neill feels this is enough), and perhaps we should; butwe must do at least thls much. If we can get wisdom, skill, and intelligence along wtth the happlness, and we probably can, as they tend to go together, so much the better; but the happlness we can no longer do wtthout.

The word 'happlness' ls so generally abused and so little understood that tt may be well to try to put this objec$ve into clearer and sharper terms. Happiness ls not game to be trapped, or

GROWING WITTIOUI SCHOOLING #70

blrd to be caught ln a net. It does not come when we beckon, or erren when we pray. Ther€ ls no formula for lt, no surc neclpe; we a

cannot bake tt llke a cake. The rnost we can say ls that there are elements or lngredtents of ltfe, ln the presence of whtch happtness may be found very often, and ln the absence of wtrtch lt Is rarely found at all.

There can be a great vadety of happy persons, lfvfng fn a gr€at varlety of clrrcumstancrs, but about them a few thfngs wtll almost always be tnre, The happy person has a strong sense of hls own allveness: hls senses are keen, or at least he reJolces ln them and makes full use of them. He ls not dead to the nrorld about htm.

He does not seek happtness fur escape and foqgefulness; he ls allve and aware, and moves tourard Me. Also, he has a strong sense of his own unlque tdenttty: he ts htrns€lf, and not somoone else, and not like anyone else: he has hts drrn very parflcular ldeas, and opinlons, and tastes, and sldlls, and pleasures, that no change ln his clncumstances can take from htrn He ls not a rnass man, who has to be told who he ls; he knows. Most knportant of all, he has a

The fundamental educatlonal task of our tlme ls to flnd walrs to help chtldren grow lnto adults who have no wlsh to do harm.

We must recognlze that tradltlonal cducatlon, far from havlng ever solved thls problem, has never trled to golve lt. strong sense of lrls own dtgnlty, oompetence, and umrth. He may value the good oplnlon ofothers, but he does not need lt or depend on lt. For he knows, desplte hts many faults and weaknesses, that he ls a creature worthy ofalfecdon and respect and that, tn howwer ttny a degr=e, the world ls a dllTerent and probably better place for hts betng ln tt.

Only a rare chtld could posstbly survlve conrrcntlonal schooltng feeltng thts way about htrnself, That tt happens at all, as lt occasionally das, proves how tough and reslllent ctrtldren canbe...

[In thetr schooltn$ ctrlldren are above all else demeaned and degraded by being subJect for so long to the feeble, nraverlng, capricious, arbitrary, and almlesg tyranny of thetr elders.

Submission to authortty ls not always or necessarlly degradtng.

We are not lessened tn our own eyes by havlng to do the btddtng of someone we know to be our superlor; thus muslcians, for example, felt tt an honor to submtt to the tyranny of Toscanlnl. We can even obey the orders oflesser men, and sufier tndtgntdes at their hands, when we know lt Is done tn a good cause... Ctrtldren could very probably submlt, wlthout feeltng resentment or sullertng harm, to a strlct and errcn harsh adult tyranny, lf they could believe that the adultg knew what they urcre dofng, and that the grown-up world they were betng preparcd to enter made sense and had some stablllt5r and purpose. But what clrtld of today can belleve thls, when twehrc, ten, errcn slx year olds talk, and ttrtnk, and dream of the end of the world, when llttle chlldren say, as I have heard them say, not "when I grow up,' but'tf I grow up'?

To have most of your Me controlled by people who are so clearly not your supedors tn anythfng except age, slze, and power, and who are so far from betng able to manage thelr ourn llves, ls a contlnulng fndignfty that cannot but destroy, as lt does, rrpst of the self-respect of the chtldren who undergo lt. As tt destnoys thelr self-respect, lt destroys thelr respect for other people, and forces them to try to flnd a sens€ of betng and worth tn one of the collecdve tdentlttes (be tt teenage gang or nailon state) that have througfrout history been the gr€at agenb of hurnan evlldotng, and that today stand soltdly ln the way of peace and brotherhood...

l8 The

Jolbwing are resporres to John Holt's

essag on the preceding page.

NATURAL AUTHORITY VS. AUTHORITY OF RANK Ilom Aarort Frrlful fReadbtg as Port

oJ

a

Retationshtp,'

Gr{6 *68J:

I could tell from readtng John's remarks that I was deallng wtth a relaflvely early plece of hls v/rtting. It stmck me that there were a number of polnts on which he would later change hls mtnd. Yet all the same lt ls remarkable to observe the way ln whtch.Iohn, ln this plecc, was able to write so cogently about some of the deepest and most tmportant aspects of the human condtflon: the ortgtns of aggression, the causes of war and human errtldotreg, submisslon to authorit5r, the tyranny of schooltng, and the nature of happlness.

I belleve that John later came to reject the nodon that educatlon could or should provtde chlldren with c.ertain types of experlences. Certalnly by the mtd-seventles he was using the word educatlon to reGr to some sort of designed Process that certain people (educators) perform on other people (students) for the dleged benellt of the latter. The questlon of schools providing or denylng certaln kinds of experlences had become a moot point.

Educatlon by schooling was the wrong type of business to be in.

John would often quote Paul Goodman (author of Growing Up Absurdj and argue that where we have fatled the young is not that we g[ve t]rem lousy schools which provide them with the wrong types of experlences, but that we fail to provide them with a sane, worthwhile societ5r, a soclety that makes sense.

Stmilarly, I thfnk John changed his mind about whether one could 'make happy people.' I think he came to vlew happiness not as the end result of some number of processes but rather as a state ofbetng. Indeed, happlness is avery deep concept, and ln phtlosoptrtcal llterature lt has often been confused with the nodon of pleasure, whtch I think ts somethlng quite dillerent.

Ltke AS. Neill, John asserted ln hts later writing that there is no reclpe for happiness, that lt wasn't anything one could get - it was somethtng one could be. Pleasure ls a temporary thing, a sort of peak experience that comes irnd goes. Happiness, on the other hand, ts a condnual sense ofcontentment and aliveness, of vlvaclty, verve, and Joy. Neill wrote ln Summerhill, "If the word happlness means anythtng, lt means an inner feeling of wellbetn!, a sense of balance, a feeling of betng contented with life.

These can odst only when one feels free.' It was freedom, then, and not happtness, to whlch Neill devoted his attention. I believe one can observe ttre same emphasis in John's later thinking: in the context of freedom, happiness (as well as intelligence and a moral sense) would look after itself.

I'm not sure I agree with John that wars are caused by unhappy, hateful, resentful people - that is, people with Pent-uP aggresslon. I would say that this sort of aggression makes war

posslble, but tt does not cause tt. We would have many rnore wan:sl tf John's asserdon were true. The fact that there ale numy unhappy people wtth llttle control or Power over thetr own llves means that when we do have war, there ls no short supply of people to ftghl

I ltnd myself wonderlng, after readtng John's rernarks' why women don't start wars or feel a strong need to ftght tn tlrem- One rnfght thfnk that the mtllenta of oppresslon women harc endured would produce prectsely the sort of agg;resslve character t5pe John descrlbes: people wtth [ttle sense of dtgntty or self-worth, people who get pushed around and thus harrc a strong need to Push others around. I suppose John might answer that many oppressed women take thelr aggr€sslons out on thetr clrtldren, or on chtldren le school (8796 of elementaqr school teachers are women). It would be tnteresting to try to flnd out whether women who feel they are llberated tend to be more humane tn thetr chtldrearlng pracdces or oome to call lnto quesflon the valtdtty or necesslty of schoollng. To 'educate' a chlld (ln the sense of the word mentloned earler) ls at root an act of aggresslon. ArnonSl socalled prtmtdve socledes such as the lKung Bushmen or the Yequana Indtans, who are essenttally non-Fgglr€ssfue people, the conccpt of 'educatlon' ls unknorvn.

When asked lf the chtldren at Summerhlll respected trlm as headmaster, Netll always responded, 'Oh, I hope nott' Netll would have no truck wtth the sort of authorlty assoclated wtth rank or title. It is an error to dernand. respect; one must earn lt, as John's example of Toscanlnl aptly tllustrates. Thls hearkens back to George Dennlson's notlon of 'natural authortty,' whtch John referred to over and orrer agatn ln hts books and publlc lectures.

Natural authortt5r, as opposed to authort$l ofrank, ls based on skill, experience, and competence. Great damage ls done when we

use authorlt5r of rank ln place of natural authorlt5l.

I thtnk that most young chtldren nalvely thlnk that adults really do know better, are usually rlght, and are therefore endtled to use the JusflIlcadon, 'It's for your own good.' Certatnly I felt this way for a long tlme. It probably wasn't undl I was halftny into my teens that I began to doubt all ttrts, to thtnk that maybe adults rreren t rtght all the tlme and dtdn't really ahrays know what they were dotng and thus couldn't really Judge what our own good was. The dawntng awareness of thls consdtuted both a sort of liberadon and a crlsls - ltberadon because I no longer sulfer€d the pangs of guilt and dlmlnudon of self-worth when I Glt that adults were wmng but felt I ought to thtnk they were rlght crtsts because I, at a relattvely Late age, had to take rny llfe lnto my own hands slnce I was no longer gotng to rely on my teachers' 'feeble, waverlng, caprlclous, arbttrary, and almless granntes' to make life decisions for me. I became my own Person: I became a freer and ultimately happler and more peaceful Perspn.

THE NEED FOR NEW PARADIGMS F\om Peter furgson (PN: John's arttcle brtngs to mtnd the talk these days ln buslness clrcles about paradtgms and how they affect declslon-maklng up and down the corporate Ladder. Amerlcan buslness people are tripping all over themselves ln a rush to emulate the world leaders tn a new rnanagement style that ts blowlng away the competltlon. In the process, the Amertcans are leaming that tn order to dupltcate the suc,cess of thetr mentors, tlre Japanese, they must adopt a radically dtlferent vlew of the consurnent of thelr goods and servlc€s, starttng wtth the workers tn thelr own shtft thelr paladlgm companies. Thcy must, ln the new about people and about how corporate declslons ar- best rnade' Then they must restructure thelr comPanles to reflect thts strtft tn both philosophy and datly pracdce.

How I wlsh that Amerlcan educators would, ln sfunllar fashion, effect an equally radlcal paradtgm shtft. I wtsh they would adopt the vlew of chtldren and of educadon that ls repreGROWING WITTIOTJT SCHOOLING #7O

l9 sented, not by the Japanes€ model, but by our friend John Holt.

I flrst heard the use of the term paradrgm in a lecture by Joseph Chtlton Pearce ln whtch he made the point that certain paradtgms whlch we take for granted do not erdst in other cultures. He ctted as an o<ample the pre-technological Yequana Indtans descrlbed by Jean Ltedloff 7n The Continuum Corrept.

Pearce sald that the Yequana parents c.ould not conceive ofa

dtsobedtent chlld because dlsobedlence did not exlst ln their culture - there was no paradtgm of a dlsobedient person. Neither nras there a paradlgm for chlld abuse, or even the concept of work as opposd to play.

More rec.ently, I have learned of the role of paradigms tn the business world from futurlst Joel Barker. I have since come to understand why people llke John Holt have such a dillicult time getttng people to see the world's problems, and their possible solutions, as clearly as they themselves do. Barker delines paradlgms as the patterns, or models, that we dwelop in our mlnds as a result of our experlence. We each have - need to have ln order to funcflon - a zllllon paradtgms.

But pa!:adlgms can keep us stuck, too. Barker calls thls the Paradtgm Elfect and Paradtgm Paralysls, meanlng that we see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear, and lilter out or mlsconstme all the rest so as not to rock the boat. This is how we get stuck and lose the ability to adapt to changing circum-

my behavior over tlme and my chlldren's behavlor.

So what are we to do to butld a more peaceful world, wtth more peaceful chlldren? I thtnk we need to start by creating a shift tn our ourn paradlgms, our own adult vtew of the world as lt c.ould be. We must come to exp€ct - notJust hope for, or dream about, but expect - the new paradtgm to be fulftlled. We must surround ourselves wtth people and books and work and whatever else wtll feed Ods new paradtgm. We can't be obltvlous to the negaUve pa.radigms of our culture, but we don't have to llve by them, elther

''YOU SHALL NOT BELIEVE YOU ARE SOMETHING'' Flom Rasmus Hanse4 one oJ tlv Jotntders oJ the Danish Ny 7O) descrlhrd irr John's Instead of &lucatlon and h tle JIlmWe Have to Call tt School:

Hlleskole ftow lHslrolen

Many authors descrlbe tn thelr books how they have experlenc€d thetr chlldhood as a more or less unhappy ttrre, and try tn thetr adult ltves to understand why It has been that way. A Danish author by the name of Sandemose sets lt up very clearly as a law under whlch chlldren must llve. It goes somethlng ltke

this:

stances.

Thls remtnds me of the part of How Children Farl in whtch John descrlbes sittlng tn the back of a math class and watching not the teacher but the children. What John saw was remarkably dlfferent from what the teacher thought was golng on. How easily we delude ourselvesl And how diflicult it is to hear when an outslder, ltke John, tells us that our vlew of our teachlng, our schools, our end products, ls so totally off-base.

John refers to A-S. Neill's argument that 'the business of educatlon ls above all else to make happy people.- I confess that on thls polnt - the role of schooling ln the development, or lack tlvtwj, of happy people - I am more confused than clear. Certafnf I agree wtth John that schools are often harmful to the way ctrlldren feel about themselves. But how often? Here's where we need data to separate fact from oplnlon. How many unhappy people can legttimately clalm school as the cause of their woes? I have no trouble accepdng the idea that school contributes, but is It the cause? How do we explain those children - whether one ln a thousand or one in ten - who leave school as happy, well-developed people? And how do we explain those children who are unhappy but have never been to school, either because they're too young or because they're homeschoolers? Surely there are more varlables to conslder - tn-born temperament, for example. Or dlet, or teleylslon, or famtly process - a child's lirst paradigm of how people relate to each other.

As one who Is both the parent of four children and the dlrector of a family resounce center, I have had the opportunit5r to llve and work with chlldren both as family member and as educatorr/facllltator. When I'm working with children outside rny famfly I ffnd that I'm more likely to be successful in helping them to become peaceful people when I am buildtng on a solid foundatlon lald by the parents. By solid foundatlon, I mean parents who are a generally peaceful couple, and a home that ls a generally peaceful one, so that the chtld has the ktnd of basic acceptance of self that John reGrred to ln hls descrlption of a happy child. I ttrtnk these chlldren have an lnclinatlon to use the strategies for cpoperadon that we practic-e at our resource center because they erpect the constructive resolufion of differences.

Some chlldren, on the other hand, have already learned to expect fallure, Thetr paradtgm of adults ls that of lecturer, Judge, maybe errcn dlctator. They won't look you ln the eye, and they certalnV don't expect that you'll do rtght by them. Their world vlew ls alr,eady a hosdle one.

In my own faodly, I find the model set by the parents is overwhelmln$y tmportant. We create the paradigm that children adopt, not by our words but by our behavior. If Daddy yells when the gotng gets rough, we shouldn't be surprised when the kids do, too. I am all too certaln that there ls a direcf correlation between

GROWING WITTIOUT SCHOOLING #7O

You You You You

shall not belie',re you are something. shall not belleve you are capable of somethlng. shall not belleve you are wlser than us. shall not belleve that someone llkes you.

And so on. Hls chtldhood was In the l92os, but how much has

this ln realtty changed todaf? Isn't tt stlll a very comrnon attltude toward chlldren - among parents, ln the school, ln sports,

ln soclet/? It ts pr:actlccd ln many ways: gent$ and lovln$y, through threat and reproof, wlth demands, tests, and compedtion, bad marks and dlsparagement - dlsclpltne and punbhment.

It can cause many chtldren to lose trust ln themselrres and their abillties.

And we shouldn't wonder that when some young people do Iinally belter.e that they'are somethlng- and 'can do something,' they demonstrate thts by tllegally uslng a knlfe or plstol against another person - or, legally, machlne guns or arullery.

CONFIRMING CHILDREN'S EXPERIENCES Lella Bery, Brfttsh

autlar oJReading and Lovlng andLook at Klds, wrcte her response as aletter addressed

diratlg to

Jofut:

You remember Rtstng-

hill School - tn that decaytng London distrlct where parents and then teachers (a very few of theni began to learn not to beat lilds. where

working-class parents stood on decreplt street corners discussing e"xcitedly lnto the

night what educadon really meant, where parents and

kids and probatlon omcers and social workers collected hundreds of signatures and

marched to Whitehall, saytng 'Hands off our schooll'

Salisbury Playhouse cornmislond me to wrlte a play, based on my book I called the play

R|singhill

20 Ralstrg Hell (that's what the wtlder ktds once - alfectionately called the school). Some of the material tn the play was about TIm, a student at the school. A teacher who was fond of him had told me that she took him to her countqr cottage for a weekend.

She showed htm hts bed, but he wouldn't sleep tn it - he wandered round the placc all nlght, checldng that every door and window uras loclrcd, and appeared at breakfast grtPPtng a toasting fork and malntalnlrg serlous$, 'I always keep a weapon wtth me.' At one flmeTtmwas seen by the educaUon psychologlst, who put a table-tenntg ball h front of trtm and sald, "Thafs an orange. Peel tt.' Ttm retorted, 'I'll peel tt, lf you'll eat lt.'

Anltnray, we took the play round several countles' me slttlngi tn the theatre van wtth the company, and \rG had dlscusslons wlth the audlence after the play, often very stormy. One day we took lt to an open Borstal $outh prlson). Thls Borstal - an o<perlmental one: lt was the end of the slxtles - had a theatre, but tt hadn't yet been used, as no one knewwhat to do ln lt. It also had a new Educatlon OffIc,er, who had dared to book Rafsing Hell and whose Job was now gotng to hang on a thread.

No one knewwhatwould happen. I sat ln the audlence of convlcted teenagers. Clearly none of them had ever been ln a theatre before. Ttre pl"y began wtth muslc and sPontaneous danctng - 'Everybody loves Saturday ntght,' sung as the kids at the schml used to stng tt, ln English, Greek, Italian, and any other of the nlneteen languages the kids spoke at home. The audlence began to go wlld. I held on to the arms of my seat I wondered lf the actors were gotng to be able to cope, let alone the poor educatlon olllcer.

Dtalogue began, and gradually the audlence calmed down. To my anrazernent they became absolutely silent and absorbed' No audlence ln my memory, of any play whatsoever, has ever been so held. They were watchlng themselves. The play told them that thelr lfircs were rralld. Someone was {lghttng for them, and they

were flghting for themselves.

At the very end of the play, a glrl ls on the stage by herself, readtng onc ofthe last pages ofthe book: One that last day at Ristnghtll no one dld break up the school. [The school was forced to close, and some of the ldds had safd, about lts founder, 'If Mr. Duane can't have the school, no one will. We'll smash tt up.' But Mfke had spoken to the whole school, asldng them not to 'lash out and hurt other people Just because theyVe

hurt us,'l The people who carne to move the piano said another school had been smashed to smlthereens..' But

Rlstnghill close<l qutetly, with crowds of children talktng ln Mr. Duane's study, and the toughest kids of all crylng fn the lavatorles.

She closes the book and walks off the stage. For a long time - I don't really know how long, but lt seemed tntermlnable because I dared not breathe - the theatre stayed dead sllent' Then at last the

Itghts went up. The boys sdll sat there. Then very slowly and clumslly they began to get to thelr feet, sttll silent. They were cryt^g.

A ltt0e wtrlle after that, I began to work out Nippers, my serles of flrst storybooks for 5 to 8 year olds learning to read' They were the flrst books to come lnto schools in which at last a maJortty of chlldren recog;nlzed themselves. Early on, whtle the storles urcre sdll te typescrtpt, I took some of them to an East

lpndon school and read them aloud. They were a group of storles based on a mlxture of the East End ltself and the Risinghill dtstrtct and Brlxton, pa.rt of bndon, about a large family, like the

famlltes that used thls school.

I hadn't read halfa sentence before the chlldren began to laugh. Ihey Laughed wtthout stopplng rtght the way through all the storles; I had to read stralght through lt' It wasn't ordlnary laughter, They were cryfrrg wlth laughter, and they were up out of thelr seats, huggtng ttremselves, and huggtng each other, and rnoanlng thtngs ltke, 'It's my Dad, tt's my Dad.' The publlshers were getdng a little nervous about the unusual content ofthe books, and decided to send out some typescrlpts to

schools. The teachers were outraged. They safd ctrlldren dtd not play on bomb-sltes or dumps (whtch I had talked about ln the books). No chlldren played tn old cars' All homes had hot water and proper bathrooms. Nobody used tln baths. They sald the children themselves were shocked to hear such thlngs - wtrtch dld not e:dst - mentloned.

These were not teachers who taught tn glamorous dtstrlcts.

These were people who taught ln aneas where ctrlldren dways played tn the local dump, and ln the abandoned cars, and had homes rrlthout hot water, and us€d tln baths lllled up wlth a kettle. Forturratef a fortntght later other teachers wrote ln sayhg, 'At lastl Vtgorously tnragfnadve..' vtvtd... poettcl The chlldren love themt'These teachers, by sheer chance I felt, were more than the ffrst lot, so publlcaflon went ahead.

These days I go to schools onoe or hvlce a month under the 'Wrlters tn Schools' scheme. They are small schools' sometlmes vlllage schools of forty or fffty klds. I rnake my own Programs.

Sometlmes I tell my own storlee. At one storytelling' one 6 year old said wtth shy sohcttude, "Do you llve ln a'ome?" I was puzzled.

"Do you nt€an a house? I ltrrc tn a llttle house, by myself..." No' he meant a 'onc. lt took qutte sorne tfune before I dtscovered the whole class had been taken to see Annle and he thought all orphans fhe knen'I was one) had to llve ln a'ome and werc badly treated. He was really sad and conc'erned for me, and hts ldndness grew out of the context of mutual enJoyment and appreclaflon of each other.

I do stor5rmaklng workshops too, orlglnally for the older ones but now for 6 year olds up' I start by telltng my own storles' Then I tell them the real lncldent that sparked lt ofr - another story on lts own. Then I tell them that all storles, whether they're about ghosts, spacemen, wltches, monsters, or whatever, always have sometfurg ln them that ts real, that the author remembered or saw or heard.

They tell me about thelr llves, and I wrtte lt down, and lt makes a story. The ktds are eager to get thelr own btt tn' that btt of their own ltfe. The teachers always ask tf th€y can slt tn. Very occastonally a teacher, perhaPs wantlng her class to shlne, or maybe thfnldng I need support, wlll say, 'Oh, come on, so-and-so, I'm sure youhave somethlng to say.' But I lgnore her, and she falls silent, and the chtldren reallze I really do mean they belong, thelr real llves belong, te thts story' And they start, and do not want to stop.

The teachers always say afterwards, "But they have so many ideasl I never thougfit they could have so many ldeasl" But lt's they're own Me they are talHng about' They're delfghted and exclted that thelr own llfe ls tmportant enougfi to go tn storles.

They had thought that only thtngs outstde them had arry \raUdtty' Sometlmes I oglatn thls a blt to the teacher who runs me to the railway stadon when the sesslon ls over. I say tt lsn't thelr

'creatlve lma$nadon' that wtll fuel them flrst of all' but thetr self-awareness, thelr conlldenct that thetr llfe ts valtd. I'm not as interested tn the productas ln the strength, the sweetness, the vltdtty, the softrress, the electrlc absorpdon that comes to them tnstantly when they reallze thetr own lmportance, not only for their wrtting, but for thelr ovm hedth. I might add, for the human race. I thlnk lf thts happens only once tn a ctrlld's schooltlme, that child gets a sense of vttaltty that mfght be obstlnate and not easily dislodged.

LOVING ONE ANOTHER Flom Jud Jerone

('Izan*g fiom GrbJ,'

CWS *@):

As I was drtvlng to the post ollce ln our llttle vtllage to ptck up the mall tn whtch I was to flnd Susannah's request for comments on this passage of John's wrtttng, I followed the rudest bumper sflcker I have ever seen, the text of which I wlll not repeat ln a publtcatlon meant for famtly readlng. It was a late model car with a young man drlvtng and a passenger I could not see. But I ponder what one ctuld do about such a phenomenon. I fantaslzed about leavlng a note on the car, tf I found lt parked. I would say' GRO\ryING WITHOIN SCHOOUNG #70

2L

'lt ls not the language that bothers me. It is the hostiltt5r, especlally on a bumper stlcker. The last thing we need when lnvolved in the complex, sensldve exerclse ln cooperaHon that drlvlng requlres ls a message that expresses and invites hostility.r I urondered what deprlvatton in a person's life could lead to such a dlsplay. I thought about schools, ofcourse, but as John says, lt is a much broader quesdon than schooling.

I thfnl( ofthe head[nes these days about violent repression tn Chtna. Durlng the uprtslng my wife and I waxed sentimental about the sweet facrs ofthe young Chlnese people, about soldlers and ofllclals who met them with tears ln their ryes, as we

remembered our lmpresslons of pervasive sweetness when we vtstted Chtna ln 1987. Whlle we were there, though, violent represslon of Ttbetans {rErs golng on tn Lhasa, and as we watched the mlracle of the burgeonlng peaceful protest in Beltng we knew ln our guts that tt could turn bloody at any moment, as lt dtd, as lt wlll, no doubt, ag'tn and agatn, in China and elsewhere, because, as John says, clwer as human belngs are, they seem not to have been able to dlscover the roots of their most primal need: happlness,

One theme John stresses seems to me worth examining, howerren tndlvlduallsm. He says that a happy person .has a strong sense of hts lor herl own unique identit5r." Maybe, and maybe not. It may be that a sense of individual worth, of lndl-

vtduallty ttself, ts a purely Western notion. Those Chinese, either ln thelr sweet or savage phases, seem to behave much more like molecules ln a larger body than like tndividuals wlth a sense of self. I would say that the bumper sticker I mentioned is individuallsm run rampant, lndivtdualism as disease.

"He found a home ln the army" was a phrase one often heard back tn World War II days. Some men and women did, indeed, seem to llnd the submlsslon of their personal choice to the organlzatlon, the system, a great relief, and I often think that the apparently desperate need many feel to belong, to belive, to join, to tdenttf wtth a falth or creed or group, is a yearning to escape tndtvldualtty. On the other hand, individualism may be the world's ulttmate salvadon from the diseases of lndoctrination, m:rss centrahzatlon, and urar that sweep civiltzation agaln and agatn. For me that ls an open question. _ But there ls no questlon that we somehow have to llgure out how to make what John calls 'authority' a benign force. The worldwlde shudder of abhorrence that came as a response to the brutallty of the Chtnese suppnession of the democratic rebellion ls a shudder not at the authority (and obedience) of those who conducted lt, but at the definace of those verv officials of the htgher authorlty of humantty itself. There is an unwritten global law agatnsl bloody vlolence against unarmed citizens.

And the law ls not some piece of legislation passed by a democratically elected parliament. It is a law of our inner nature as human betngs, a law that binds us together as fellow creatures, that puts the specles above the individual, Just as partners ln a lovlng marrtage are able to put the entit5r of their unlon and of famtly aborrc personal preGrences. To live peacefully, people have to learn to honor that bondage ofone to another, io the group, to the netghborhood, to the nation, and, above all these, to

humanklnd.

PEACE AS HEALING [SS:] Readtng all these thoughts about peace made me remember the Ume I heard the poet Olga Broumas read from her work, Durlng the quesUon and answer session that followed, someone asked Broumas for her delinition of peace. She said, .I alurays thtnk of peaoe as healing.'

Thts past May I vtstted Friskolen 7O, the Danish school that John Holt wrote about ln Instead oJ F/lrcation I met a glrl there named Marlanne (IVe changed her name here to protect her prlvad, now 12, who had been born in India and adopted by a Danlsh wornan when she w.rs a year old. Shortly after bringing her to Denmark Marlanne's mother came to suspect that she had been severel5r neglected as an lnfant. At a year old she was almost

GRO\ryING WITHOLN SCHOOLING #7O

no more fully developed tllan she had been at btrth. Durtng the flrst several years of her llfe tn Denmark lt became clear that

Marlanne was sufferlng from the emodonal and phystcal neglect of her early Me, and would need to be helped to heal.

The government ln Denmark provtdes spectal schoollng to chlldren, such aa Marlanne, who are tn need of lL For a urhlle Marlanne dtd attend one of these spectal schools. When she was 7, her mother dlscovered FHskolen 70, and Marianne has gone there ever slncc. FHskolen 70 ls tndeed spectal, but lt ls not obviously geared toward chlldren wlth Marlanne's d{ncdttes.

Most of the ctrlldren there seem to radtate health and happtness the feeltng ls one of a strong, vtbrant group of people. Yet tn thls communltSr (and of course wtth the help of her very carlng mother) Martanne has begun to heal. Dudng rrqr short stay tn Denmark I uras able to get some scnse of what tt ts about thls communlty that has helped Martanne.

At 12, Marlanne acts ln many ways hke a much younger chtld. Because the scrrenty or so ctrlldren at Frtskolen 7O are not segregated by ag., Martanne ts able to play freely wlth the younger children wlthout calllng unneoessary attentlon to how much older she ts. And because the older chlldren, tr turn, are so accustomed to treatlng the younger chlldren respecffully and allowtng them to Jotn ln wherever approprlate or posstble, lt comes naturally to them to extend thls treatrnent to Marlanne as

well, They don't automatlcally exclude her from thelr acilvlfles Just because she doesn't act like a typfcal 12 year old.

Marlanne ls able, tn thls communl$r where people dectde for themselves how to spend thelr days, to spend hours and hours bouncing a ball tn the school courtyard, someflrnes varylng the rules of the game and other tlmes repeattng the same ganre for a long stretch. The assumptlon (so lt seemed to me) on the part of others at the school ls that tf Martanne spends so much drne playing ball tt must be meettng some lmportant need. It must be the work she needs to do rtght now. (No one can say for sure wha! prectsely, ls the need that the ball game meets - maybe lt glves Marlanne exerclse tn phystcal cmrdlnadon that she mtssed earller ln ltG, maybe lt gltves her lncreasing confldence because she has bec.ome so good at tt - but the taclt assumpdon ls that Marianne wtll plrv the ball garne for as long as lt ls meantngful and useful to her, and wlll move on to somethlng else when tt

isn't.)

Marianne only began readtng wtthtn the last year or two. The people at the school, llke many homeschoolng parents, had to

keep themselves from worrytng about whether Marlanne would ever read or gently urging her to try tt. I ftlnk tt's ltkely that Marianne didn't begtn readlng - tndeed, probably could not have begun readlng - unttl other, at that tlme mor€ prlmary, needs were met. Only when she had ln some (probably Large) measure compensated for the losses of her early Me was she able to turn her attentlon to readtng. Now, her mother says, readlng ls one of Marlanne's favorlte tlrtngs to do. Whlle I uras vlsldng the school Marlanne asked me to read with her sever:al ilmes - by wlrtch she meant llsten whlle she read aloud. Her readlng ls achrally so fluent now that she urould often get knpadent wtth the slowness of readtng aloud and lapse tnto stlent readlng. But she sttll wanted c€mpany whlle she read to herself, somethlng I thlnk many children want as th€y are learnlng to read.

It's tempdng to put cldldren who are troubled lnto sornc ldnd of setUng wlth other ctrlldren who are troubled, and to provtde them with adults who spectaltze tn helptng troubled chtldren. yet I think that ln Marlanne's case she uras most helped by belng tn a communlt5r that spectallzed tn health, so to speak, a c$nrmunlty whose members know about energr, vttalfty, shength, and make that knowledge manlfest ln the llrrcs they lead. Marlanne, we can say, needed to leam about health (and strength, and securlty, and communlty), and lt rnakes sense that she nrculd leam lt best in a place where lt was ln such abundancr.

22

RETHINKING HUMAN NATURE: INTERVIEW WITH JEAN LIEDLOFF IS9:J Harrdlg

an issue ojGWS gor,s bg

Inuhlchwe do not menllonJean

Uedolfs bor,k, nre Conttutm ConcePt (avorlL lvre, *226, $8.95). TIE W Is alriut lriw tle Yeqtano Indlrrts ralse tlvlr chlldren h keeplrg u:Xh the clorrr,llntum oJ hwnan bldqlcal etqederrce - tox[ Jor etcanpLe, abrast constanl phgslcal

artact durlng

tJE first gear,

ard

rt:lllh

tle

assumpt{on that clildren are bmotelg

stlalandgd'nottred

Qutte

afeu

GWS

rcaders seem btcrestd. In putfltg

cont{nuurn prlrtclplr,s to unrh urd un haue dtscnssed tlds, ordtle bolds ldeas atrifi orrununlty atd abrtld rDo* and plc;9, ba

nnng

prcDlous tssues,

Jeort IHIlofr raenflg norxd Jrcm FlEllond to cal{onlda n&kiur1g It practiaal Jor us to Interulew her by teleplane.

Surennah Shcficr: What have You

been dotng slnce ??re C.ontbuutm Corwpt

consclous belefs but our unconsclous bellefs. It's that that needs to be changed.

Btrth, and errents ln tnfancy, and even prenatal experlenc.e, form bellefs ln us about ourselvei and the world - for example, "No matter what I do, no one responds.' We nerrer thlnk, 'Whafs the matter wtth my mother, that she doesnt resPond?'We feel that the tnadequacy, the fault, ls in oursehrcs, instead, and that ls what takes the toll on us ln our later llves.

You begtn to see very clearlY how these beltefs have come about Our

character ts destgned to develop ln a

certaln nray, whtch, lf tlrc condnuum of human experlence were followed as lt was for tens ofthousands ofyears, works extremely well. If our Parents are behavtrng correctly and treatlng us wlth aPProprlaG respect - whtch ls what the Yequana io, what the Balinese do, what people do all orrcr the world when they have not had

came out tn 1975?

Jcan Llcdloff: I've been callireg what I do tutortng, or teachlng. People are concerned about Adult Children of Alcohollcs - well, I thtnk of what I do as helptng adult chlldren of 'normal' parents, slck ln our -soctety, because normal ls so and, by deflnltlon, traglcally prevalent.

SIS: What does the tutortn$ lrrvolrrc? I know that so often people's resPons€ to vour book ts, 'Ifs too late for me, there's nothtng I can do now,'but lt sounds as though you belleve that somethtng can be done to help people who have been brougfrt up normally.

JL: What I had suggested ln the ortgtnal edtdon of the book, as an ldea for research, was to try to gtrc adults the experlenccs that were mtssed tn Itof"n<.y and chtldhood. But lt was dlllcult to do.

For a whlle I tnvesttga.ted what they call prfmal, or abreactlon, therapy: havtng people rellve tnctdents from thetr early itvei. I thought that mtght be the way that the psyche heals ttself. But I was dlsappotrited when I saw that lt doesn't work most of the ttme. It's certalnly catharflc, but lt doesn't actually change you, ltJust makes you feel better for the momenl

SS: How dtd you come to reallze that?

JL: Ifs very drarnatlc to see PeoPle screamlng and weeplng. You can wltness the terrlble tragdy ln the way bables and chlldren are normall5r treated as you watch adults rellve those early expertences. But at the end they're pret$r much

unchanged: th.y're stlll shrlnldng auey from thJ same thlngs, they don't feel free and pourcrful. So I had to look elsewhere.

There's an awful lot of phonlness, a lot of talk, and not much of anythfng genutnely happenlng ln the world ofpsychotherapy. foii ume I feared that maybe nothtng would tnrly transform the vtcttm of normalcy, but I perststed because that was too terrtble to contemplate' Now, I'm happy to say, IVe arrtved at somethtng

thiidoes work. What ls wrong wlth us, to state lt slmply, ls what ure bellerre - not our

iy social, deeply

cooperaUve, lfYou

assutne that that's our nature and you dont have to make chlldren cooper:adve but iust have to allow them to be, than that |s maeea how they behave. But we show ctrildren that we e:rpect them to be destrucflve andwtld and dangerous. Our toddlers keep toddlrng away from us and w€ run afterthem. Yequana or Ballnese or other conflnuum chlldren run after the adults. Now why should that be? We don't understand our chlldren, we don't belleve that they're gotng to follow us. We have

lost our anclent falth tn, and famtllartty

wlth, human nature. I'm wrtttng a book

now on Non-Adversarlal Chtld Care, and

lfa Yequana could read and

saw that

Sounds crazy.'But of course thafs the normal way we're taught to do tt lrt

Western clvtltzatlon.

SS: What's an example of how we mtght change our behavlor?

It.

the benellt ofbetng educated out of werythtng that makes sense - when people behave thls way, thtngs work out llne. But rrc're brouglrt up ln a completely dlllerent way. Ctrildren ln our culture are made to feel that they're lncomPetent, that they're dangerous, destmcdve, self-destructlve,

selfl-str, dtrty - all ktnds of thlngs that are lust not true. We're naturally soctal, profoundly soclal, and we keeP treaflng! ourselves as thougfr we were tnnately anli-

soclal and nasty and depraved. Dr. Spock savs that at the a{e of three months a chtld wl-ll become a tynint, lf you don't oPPose

htm.

SSI: I thtnk manY Parents read Your book when thelr chlldren are older and ttrtnk, 'My goodness, I dtd everythtng wrong ln the chtld's tnfancy, we dldn't have much phystcd contact at all,' and so on. You havi some examples tn the revtsed edtflon of people comPensatlng for that by taktng old-r Chlldren tnto bed wlth them at niCht, for example. Do you sdll belteve

urorks?

JL: I have s€en lt work agatn and

'the assumptlon of lnnate soctalfty.' If you assume that human betngs are tnnate-

working title, he'd say, 'What do You mean? Do you mean your PeoPle are adversarial toward their own chtldren?

What bables want you to do, but they can't tell You, ls to be ectlvc, end to bc atrong, end calm. and centered on Your own work, wltln then In the mldst of

that thts

of how the chtld ls treated. I have come to belleve, much more even than when I wrote the book, tn the tremendous Power of expectation. I use the clumsy phrase'

agaln, but you have to use yourJudgment about the ige at whtch tt can sttll be appropriate. Certainly lfs tremendously r6riatring to people to be phystcally together. For example, tf you have two chtldren who flght a lot, you can put tlrem ln the same bed and let them llght for a few ntghts, whaterrer tt takes, and you'll see that they settle down and become much better frtends. It's qulte maglcal' and lt's a very deep klnd of bond that forms' But phystcal contact ls not the maln thlng, when a chtld ls older. It's a matter

JL: If ctrtldren sptll tnk on the carpet' we thlnk urc have two cholces: The customaqr one ls to look at them wtth anger and reJectlon, to blame and puntsh.

The other way ls to say, 'Oh, that's

perfectly dl right, darllng,' whtc-h ls rldiculous because lt's not dl rtght to have lnk on the mg. Ifs so fdse, and lt's confusing, because lt makes chtldren want

to dump more lnk on the carpet !o get some ktnd of authentlc reactlon out of you.

People thlnk there's no other altemaflve if vou don't react ln elther of these ways'

brit tn fact nelther ls elfectlve' Chtldren want to learn whafs golng on tn llG' what thelr people do so that thry can do tt' and tmtta[e, and help. So when the lnk ls on the caroet vou c.rn saY, 'Oh, what a mees,' yon th"t lt's frorrlble - tt tg, but the lsn't""y- and then you can say, 'Come child"an on, lefs clean tt up.' You're glvtng an honest reacflon wtthout maktng the chtld feel badly about htrnself, and you'rc showlngl the chtld how we feel and whatwe do ln such sltuatlons.

We're constantly reFattng thlngs to ctrlldren, tn a naggr, draggy uray: 'Brlng me the ball, come on, brtng me the ball" and on and on. Ifs demeanlng for both the parent and the chtld. We need-nerrcr say invtnhs more than once, and we should tt tti a matter-of-fact, non-pleadteg ""i, tone of volce - 'Oh, brtng me that, dear,'as you contlnue talktng or dotngl the work that you were dolng. If theY harcn't brought what you asked for, you go and get tt yourseU. Chlldren hate to bc left out. As lonE as therr have some klnd of lnteracdon - tflou're 6aloltng them or scoldtng, th.y're still tn the actlon. But tf you Just go and get the thtng yourself, wlth no lnpattent or dtsapprovtng looks or-_ dtsappronal - you must not, above all' malie-the ctrtld feel badly about htmself.

GROWING WTTIIOTJT SCHOOLING #7O

23

Just leave trlm out. He ls

so very soclal an

anlmal by nature, he won't be able to bear It. But he won't feel badly about hLtmsell

because tt wlll have been hls cholce, and the next dme, seelng lt ts the only way to be lnvolved, he wtll want to cooperate.

SS: You talk tn the book about how chlldren don't want to be the c.enter of thelr parents'attentlon, that they expect

to be on the perlphery of adult acttvlt5r. I know that our readers sometlmes say that they have trouble taktng ttme for thelr own lnterests wtrlle they have young

JL: We learn from our culture that some thlngs are work, and are supposd to be hard and unpleasant. But housework doesn't have to be thatway. Ifyou choose (and you do have a cholce) to enJoy what you're doing, and allow your children to help, you'll soon see thelr lnnate soctaltty expness ttself tn ways that will surprlse you. Each such revelatlon wlll relnforce our lost respect for our exquisttely evolved human nature. It's tnllnltely better than we now belleve, when used accuratelv.

Readers tterested In leannng more

chlldren.

JL: Nature could not conc.elvablv have destgned a specles tn whtch dofng the cornect thlng for the ctrtld ls so laborlous and unpleasant as we make tt for the parents. No specles like that would ever have suMved. Llttle babtes would have been chucked ln the rlver and there would have been only one generaflon. This desire to be martyrs, whlch ls even skonger ln England than tt ls here, the self-sacrlflclng mother, has got to be wrong. What bables want you to do, but they can't tell you, ls to be acdve, and to be strong, calm, and centered on your own work, wtthttvm ln the nidst oJ {L Most of the day you're wlth your peers, you're plaflng, laughtng, worlidng, and the baby ts always welcome, nwer pushed away, but not the c.enter of attentlon. Instead of putdng toddlers to bed whtle you're sflll tn the llvlng room, let them sleep tr the ltvtng room where you ane. Ifyou put them ln another room lt makes them long to be wtthyou, and tt makes them have to flght agarnst your will to stay wtth you.

SS: An example of how thls cholcc comesl up wlth older chtldren mtght be the cholcc between readtng the child a book that you love and hope the child mrght lorrc, and readrng a book you aren't pardcularly tnterested ln but thfnk mfght be good for the child.

JL: Thlnk of a scene: mother, father, and chtld, and the mother and father are readtng to each other from a book that lnterests them. The chtld ts on som@ne's lap, probably th. l"p of the one who's readtng. Say you're readtng Gone Wtth the Wtnd At the age of 2, probably about 9896 of the meantng goes past the chtld. A year later, at 3, much mone ls comtng through.

If one of the characters says, 'I'm hungry," the chtld understands that. lf you're readlng the part about Atlanta belng on IIre, the chlld may not understand all of that but may understand that somethlng ls on ffre, whtch ls lnterestlng. You don't edtt down your oonversaflon or your readtng. It should be authendc, and lnteresttng to the adults - and then the ctttld ts ln the correct poslflon to ptck up whaterrer part of that adult conversaflon and llterahrre corresponds to trls stage of derrclopmenl That way, there ls no pressune to do more than he ls able, and no tnsult to hls lntelllgence.

SS: One of the dlscusslons of ?he

brttttutnCorcept fn GWS was about tnvoMng chlldren fur housework, and our tendency tn thls culture to make a btg dlstlnctlon between urork and play.

abut the

applicatlon of Jean Uedblls ideas mog subscribe to The Contlnuum Concept l-elter (4 issues, $18), ond/orJobr the UEDLOFF CONTINUUM NETWORK. A undd membrship list is $4 arut is ufioted er.tery March and, *ptenbn Please sag { gou do not tr.rish Aour orlrn nane and. arlrlre55 Inctuded. Wrtte tD

UEDLAFF COAI?INUUM NETWORK,

WhTTC

Elephant 6, Issaquall Waldo Pt Harbr, Sausaldto CA 94965. For prhsate sesslons uith Jean IledIoIJ: bg telephone, or tn Irerson fn Sarlsalito, call 415-332-157O.

OLDER HOMESCHOOLERS IN THE REAL WORLD Kristlne Brek oJ Alaska wrltes:

I'm 14 and have been a homeschooler for slx years. My maln lnterest is anlmals.

I recently had the opportunity to go from my home in Alaska to an exotlc animal breedtng compound ln Florida, where llons, dgers, leopards, and other rare animals are ralsed. It was a dream come true for me because I had alwavs admired the btg cats and now I was going to live

wlth them.

No doubt, I had worked for tt, and lt has beenwork I have loved dolng. I tratned several wlnnlng obedlence dogs and a performlng sheep, ratsed a musk ox, tamed a fox, tralned and raced the World Champton naclng rcindeer, and taught my best frlend, a horse, to do thtrty llve clrcus trtcks (so far). [.ast summer when the Florida blg cat people brought thelr educattonal exhiblt to our small town ln Alaska, I gave them a copy of my resume/portfolio. They said I had talent, and they came to our farm to glve me an audltion.

In February, I boarded the airplane for Florida. I had traveled alone before, but I felt thls was a special adventure. It was a big part ofmy career and I was eager to get started. The people I stayed with were really wonderful. They took me right lnto thelr family so I wasn't homeslck much at all, though I was eager to be on the phone to my mom, to hear her familtar voic.e and tell her about all the exciting thtngs I had learned wtth the btg cats.

Homeslckness dlsappeared entlrely when I remtnded myself that the trtp was only for a month and I wanted to make the most of lt. When you're so busy having fun, you never want lt to be overl In fact, I had such a good time I stayed an extra three weeks.

I am grateful that my mother allows and helps me to take advantage ofcareer opportunlHes, erren when they take me away from home. She has taught me well and now I can go and get started tn ltfe.

I thtnk that when I was aurav from home wlthout my mother, peoplJ treated me more as an adult. It's nlce when people come directly to you, lnstead of through your parents, to talk or ask you somethtng. It was great to flnd experlenced people with similar lnterests who believed ln my abilities enough to help me come up ln the world.

Slnce I was worldng wtth very special

GROWING WITHOLN SCHOOLING #70

anlmals, some endangered specles, the owners trusted me a whole lot to take good care of the young baboon, the llama, the lion cubs, and the baby leopard. I trted very hard and used all my knowledge to be worthy of thetr trrst. And I must have been a good 'nanny,- because I never had any problems, and they tnvlted me and my mom to come back and llve and work on the compound permanently.

People I met were very surprlsed at my adventure. They usually guessed, 'And you're on$ 16 or 17, rtght?'Actually Im 14, but undermy clrcumstances, agewasl not lmportant. Quallttes such as knowledge, interest, and deslre to learn werc what mattered. It was a wonderful experience, and I think homeschoollng ls excellent prepa.radon for the real rvorld, because we llve and learn rtght ln tL BOI'ESCIIOOLIXG CO}IHUTITI f,ONTHERX CALIFONTIA

yount fbrcc farl11cs rltb cblldren ecel othera lntcrcatcd 1n borcachoollng and sbrrlng etcrardshlp of 100 .crea of bcautlful lend 12 rllce caet of the costal torn o f llcndoclno . frro yearround crccLa, rprlngt, cxccllent cllratc end toP quallty so11 Providc thc rcttlng for an orgenlc Produce ferr whlch rcrbcre can norl oD or clcct to havc thclr orn cottrgc lndustry. Prcacnt rclbcrl are attorney, grrdncr, chlldren'e booL ecl1cr, IIFCC tberaplet, I lcc nged nutrltlonl8t .nd clcctronlce conaultlnt cntlncrr. lfe have eetabll.rbcd the berlr for an eartb ccntcrcd rurrl corrunity vlth a balence bctrccn indlvldual borca and abercd facllltlcs. fno lcrca are prcecntly undcr cultlvatlon end a arall orchard yltb a verlety of frult trcca hea bccn glrntcd.

Gcntlc parcntlnt rnd crcrtlnt .

Iovlng cnvl.ronrcnt for our cblldrcn 1n the rt.drt of . ccrtlflcd ortenlc farr rhcrc thc BcaEonB rnd thr bcrutt of nrturc ie cclcbratcd guldce our overrll vislon of lntcntion.l corruntttr.

For a deteilcd brochurc rltb pbotos SASE (lcgal rlzc, 90.45 postatc) or call Russ trculan, 920 St. HcIcne Avcnuc, Srnte Rosa, Ca. 95404; (707)546-3809.

%L

glue. You'll start wtth a rlcke$r, unstable, most unpromlstng cardboard skeleton, and by the end of one very messy aftemoon you have a beaudful model of a hollow tree stump to be the stage set for a puppet show, or a doll house for someone'g creaturâ&#x201A;Ź c.ollecflon, or whatever you need a hollow tree stump for. Bottomley really knows paper and what lt can do, There arc about a

FRANK SMITH'S TEACHER Flank Sndth has orre out wtth arotler unnderJul W" a collatlon o;[ essays callad Jotntng the Lltcracy Club. We wlII b sellltg U bt orr Jdl catalq, ard br the nadrttrE, hete's an ercerpt:

Earlter thls year, at an lnformal recepdon at a prlvate house ln Chlcago ficr parflctpants ln a ltteracy conference, I met a most remarkable teacher of Greek.

Everyone uras speahng Engllsh, but there was a pleasant Greek atnosphere ln the room, ln the books that were around, tn the ptchrres on the walls, tn the muslc that was playlng, (and ln the refreshments). The setttixg led me to rerrcal that I had once studled modern Greek but had ggven up because I felt I hadn't made much progress.

The Greek teacher took me ln hand. She found some books that she knenr I would understand, slmple storles wtth tnteresttng lllustratlons. We eaolly tgnored all the other conrrcrsadons ln the room. We browsed through the books undl we found one that I was comfortable wtth. Then she tnvtted me to read the story wtth her - in Greek.

If I mlspronounced a word, she dldn't \vorry. If I stmggled to say a word, she qutetly satd lt for me, ln Greek. If I dtdn't understand, she gently suggested a meanlng, ln Engltsh. I don't suppose I read much of the book myself, but she made me feel that I had read tt all, wtthout any stress of befng erraluated, ln a pleasant collaboratlon. She devoted twenty mlnutes to rne, and when we had done, I was a member of the club of people who read Greek. I mfght not have been rrcry proflclent, but I uras well established. I was able to enJoy the next book by myself. And I started to look for other Greek books that I could read... when my teacher uras not around.

The name of my teacher was Sofla - and she was serren years old.

RESOURCES

Stephnnle JttdC BC) wdtes:

I don't remember readlng much about puppetry tn GWS, so I thought I'd pass on some lnformatlon I have. I uprked wtth a small puppet crmpany when I was ln my teens, and sdll do some solo puppetry tn modest ways. TWo years ago I worked regularly wlth a small group of homeschoolers - we called ourselves The Puppet People. The best thlng about our group uras our freedom to fool around and make mlstakes. Often, ln a clasroom arts/ crafts/drama actMty, ktds only get one chancc at any pardcul,ar proJect, and they usually hatE to llnlsh tt, even lf they don't llke the uray thelr work ls hrrnlng out. our llttle group trted lots of dtlferent puppet-maktng and acttng techntques, abandonlng some ln mtd-strearn" uslng others many tlmes

Orrer the oource of the year,

Some books

I recommend:

&ne

Allw: A Methd. oJ Leanhg ard.Teo,chtg Hand.

Mal<tt1g

Arppets

HOMESTUDY COURSES Kindergarten through 8th Grade.

High.quality home study courses developed by certified teachers at outstanding private school. Home is your classroom, you are the teachen Success is easy with step-by-step instructions. No prior experience required.

Start anv time. Tiansfer to other schools. All materials included. 350,000 student users in over 80 years, Equal opportunity. Write or call for free cataloe.

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ture lessons htdden tn thts book. You'll feel ltke a genlus. ProJects here can be done by alrnost any age, and dtlTerent tasks on btg proJects can be spltt up.

OTHER PUBLICATIONS [SS:] Some magpztnes that have come through our oltce and that mtght tnterest GWSreader.'s:

The Doula. A Magazlrc Jor Mothers 7l, Santa Cruz CA 95063-007l).

Another good magazfne about breastfeedfng, bfrth, motherhood, mldwlfery, etc.

Personal storles and ardcles.

Neu Aptbns (PO Box 19324, Washtng(PO Box

& RECOMMENDATIONS

PUPPETRY MATERIALS

over.

zlllion sclence/math/engtneertng/sculp-

htppW, by Larry En$er and Carl

F$an

ffapltnger, NY, 1980, $9.95). If you want only one book about hand puppets, thls ts the one to get. It has very preclse - but nwer dreary - lnstructlons on dweloplng hand puppet technlque, so your puppets can achrally do shgfrand notJustJtggle and swoop, It's a complete manual of geshrre - how to make a puppetwave, walt, sne@e, sleep, thlnk, cry, read, walk, rrn, fatnt - you get the ldea. Also lncluded are

sktt oudlnes for lmprovlsatlon and a few

puppet patterns. Belterrc me, lt really feels good to leam some of thts and see what you can make a puppet do. The klds ln our puppet group worked hard on this matertal and got some breathtaklng results. tuppet Hags and. htpWt MaktE by Burton and Rita Marks, publtshed by Plays, Inc., Boston, 1982, $6.95. Thls ls for the group that wants to put on a puppet showTODAY, but lsn't sure how to go about lt. There are flve short plays here very funny and appealtng to ktds from about 2 to 12 - and complete lnstrucdons for maldng all the puppets (out of socks, buttons, felt, yarn - nothlng exotlc). It's slmple and sattsSrlng and a really good book to start wtth. They plays can be done by one perslon or several, and they lend themselves to endless elaboration and

lmprovlsatlon.

Both these books are avatlable from The hrppetry Store (2518 Mountain Avenue, Flint MI 48503). Wrlte for thelr catalog.

I also recommend Paper PrcJects Jor Creatfile KIds oJ All Ages by Jim Bottomley &tttle Brown, 1983, $9.95). Thts ts NOT your normal book about pa.per crafts, Bottomley has the wlttlest and most thorough approach to uslng paper I've wer seen, Hls projects work (we've had no dlsappolntments or dlsasters from thls one) and they are very satlslrtng to do.

There's a tree-stump-gnome house that ls poslflvely astontshtng to make. All you need ls cardboard, grocery bags, and whlte

ton DC 20036). About educatlon, economlcs, peace, c"onservaHon, and much more.

The Aprtl 29, 1989 lssue focused on'tsulldtng Human-Scale Communl$r."

Mrrcotbn Nour (PO Box 186, Ttcknall, Derbyshte DE7 lWF, England). Brtttsh publlcadon about alternatlrrc educatlon, wlth some dlscusslon of homeschoollng, Artlcles ln a recent lssue lnclude: "Community as School," 'Teachlng for kamtng," "Equtpptng Ctrtldren to Avotd Drug Abuse,"

CHILDREN'S BOOK CATALOG For those of you who don't llrrc near a bookstore, NURSERY BOOKS ls a mallorder servlce that sells books for chlldren (mostly young chtldren, from the looks of tt, dthough tt has recently expanded to Include books for older chlldren, too).

NURSERY BOOKS, Dept GWS, 443O School Way, Castro Vallâ&#x201A;Źy CA 94546.

HOW TO FIND RESEARCH Many GWS readers may llnd tt useful

to loeow that Unlverstty Mlcrofllms lnternational publlshes catalogs of current dlssertatlons and theses ln all sorts of areas. You can order the catalogs for no

charge, and then call to purchase the actual dtssertatlons from the same group.

UMI Dissertatlon Informatlon Servlcr, 3OO N Zeeb Rd, Ann Arbor MI 48106.

From an advice column in the JanuaryFebruary 1989 issue of Childmagadrc:, The question: 'In fte park the other day, two mothers were talking about the schools they had enrolled their l8-montholds in, and foolishly I said, 'But you don't need to worry about that yet, do you?'Well, did I get corrected!... How should I have responded?"

The response:

'Try this: Tell them that youre seriously looking into the homeschool movement becarse you're not at dl srue about the value of modern education."

GRO\ryING WITHOLN SCHOOUNG #7O

(aduertisement)

Correspondence School JJ fnir is the best material we have ever seen or used. All the books so hand-in-hand with each other so well. Ouidaughters loved it and learned more in one year than ever before.r,

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GROWING WITFIOI.]T SCHOOLING #70

education

@

f,Ej

26

ADDITIONS TO DIRECTORY OF FAMILIES dl

the addlflons arrd changes to thc Dtncctory that urc havc rccctved slncc thc last lssuc went to press. GWS #66 has the complcte 1989 Dlrectory. and GWS #69 has a summary of the changcs bcturecn then and nonr.

Our Dhcctory ls not a ltst of all subscrtbers, but only of thosc whD ask to b tlstad, so that othcr GWS readers, or othcr lntcrestcd pcoplc, may gct ln tolrch wtth thsrn. lfyou would llkc to bc Lrcludcd, plcasc scnd thc cntsy form or a 3x5 card (onc famtly pcr card). Pleasc takc cale to trclude all thc lnformadon - last namc, full addrcss. and so on.

Plcasc lsmcmb€r that rf,c can't control ho\t thc Dtrrectory ls used; tfyou rccclve unwantcd rnall as a result ofbctr|g llstcd, Just toss lt out.

Wc prkrt blrthyeors of chtldren, not ag€s. If wc madc a mlstake whcn con'crflngyour chlld's agc to blrthpar, pleasc lct us know.

Plcaec tcll us |f you would rathcr have your phonc numbcr and town llstcd lnstcad ofyour malllrg addrcso. Wc don't hrye spacc to ltstboth.

If a fllrcctory ltsdng ls follo\rrcd by a (I4, the famlly ls wllllng to hmt GWS travclcrs who makc advancc atrangcmcnts fn wddrrg. lf a namc ln a GWS story ts follorcd by a statc abbrcnledon ln parenthcscs, that pcrson ts rn thc Dtrectory (chcck herc and rn #66 and #69).

Wc arc happy to fonrard matl to thosc whose addresscs arc not ln the Dlrcctory. Mark thc oubfde of the crwclopc wlth name/dcscrlpdon, lssuc, and pagc numbcr. lf you don t mark thc outsldc, urc opcn thc ervclopc, scc that you want somcthlng forsarded, and thcrr havc to rcaddrcss thc lcttcrand usc our o\xn postagc to Hcre

ar,c

malllt.

lMie

:A

:

(Nathanlel/77) 945 Potrt Rd, Marlon o.2738 === Bcth & Gary BRASOR (Juha,l84, \tyman/86) 69 Oxford St *2, Somcrvflle 08.143 === Margarct &

Whcn you *nd us an address changc for a subecrtptlon, pleasc rerntnd us lfJrou arc tn the fllrcctory, so we can changc lt hcrc, too.

AL

=:

Roy & Mary

Jlrn BRENNAN Mlcah/7g, Matthar/a3) 125 Magnolta Av, Glouccstcr Olg:to =- Sharon & An&€as TORI{,ARITIS (Anthorry & Nlcholas/84)

HooD (Sam/78.

Gtnny/8o, Dan/8:t, I-aura/86) 32f 7 Ridgely Ct' Blrmlngham 35243

zlLl:la l Rd, Groton

AK === Mary & Davc NEBERT (Carrle/77' Amanda/81) 862 Redpoll Ln, Falrbanks 99712 (change) === Ma* SOGGE & Ccclly STERN (CaiUtn/S4) PO Box 696, Hakrcs 9S827 (Hl

XI

=== Prcston & Tcresa COLE (Tttston/

T$crlz8, Ttwon/8o, Tlanrre/8{l) R *I Box 255, Mancclona 49659 := Pcnny & Jtm 76,

CONCAIiINON (Rechcl/7g, Patrtck/82, Joshua/

Cll. Ilorth (dPr 9{Oq, t EPI := Susan & Ron MORRISH Uesstca/8it, Danlcl, 86) 3607 Mulnpood, Roscvtllc 95678 === Russ & Connlc PFEIL (Grctdrcn /77,$talcn/eto, neur baby,/8g) 3345 Santa Paula Dr, Concord 94518 === SONOMA COUNry HOMESCHOOLERS,

of 45o (change)

8A Box lO7 Rt l, Lakc Lcclanau 49653 (II) =: Jonathan & Kathy MAYS lan/az, Sarah/84' Krlstfn/85) 2265 Hcrnlock Ct, Arrr Arbor tl8lO8

(ltl:=

Chestef, & Dlanc ROLI(A

Emtly/8a. Slmon/87) 44479

86ff)

Tcmpleman Rd, ForcsMlle 95436 (changcf := Jlm & Susan STEPHENSON (Narda/65, Ursulia/ 69, Mtchacl Olafl82) 4284 Gllbcrt St, Oakland C'A 9461 I =: Shanrn WISIIART (Stcn:a l7a,Rcbf,cral 82, BcrrJamln & Argcla/86) I 1684 CyPrEss St, Csstrovtllc 95O12 =: John & Vlrglnla YORK (BenJamln/8a) PO Box 123, Marklccvlllc 9612O

(H)

fo

l4l4

(hkc/82,

N Scott Rd'

StJohns

=== Mlchael & Suc DUGGAI{ (Jcsstca/ Pl, St Iruls 6:1137

8n 944 Fontalrrc

XT =: THE GRAPEVINE (Montana Homcschool News), 1702 l{ury 8:t North, Seelcy Lake 59a68 IiIH =: Jcrmtfcr WRIGHT & Stan McCUMBER [Vancssa/89, Davtd & Wllts/85) HC 60 Bo:(

C'A gouth (rtPe to 9tlOOOl === Les &

Sandy BYNLJM (A[clal76. Nathan/79, Elltott/8€!, Alcx/86) BELMONTPARK SCHOOL, 790 Clr,clc f,tr, Saltnas 939OS =: Adrlan & Shtrley CRAMER (Keru*l | 7 71 4224 l,ynoak Dr, Claremont 9l7ll === Jlm & Jodlc CREAGER

lLauren/77, Davld/8f) 4lO Montgomery. Sallnas === Morty FUGATE (Chrlstophcr/761 35 Flrst St, Sprcckcls 9tt962 =- Mark & Mtchele grS9OZ

XEVITT (Damtan/76) 6945 Ranchlto Av, Ven Nuys 914O5 fiI) =: Davld & JoY LIEZEN

50, Ouakcr Cl$, Charlcsto\nn (X]6O3

NJ:= Arthur & Marlane EDELMAN (Jcssica/84. Hcathcr/8a) 9 Baronc Rd, West Orangc O7O52 =: FAIVIIUES LEARMNG TOCETHER. ll Batcs Rd, Jackson O8527 =: Rlchad & Vlctorla IIANBICXI (Btnka/80) PO Box 432, Thrcc Brtdgcs O8887 === Davld JUSIICE (Matthssr/81) 80O Wcstffcld Rd. Moorcstoqm o8057

(Matthcnr/77, Ollvla/80, Nlcholas/84, Hans/86) I123 Brlanrrood Pl, Saltnas 93eof FD OAI(VIEW SCHOOL, 6910 oak Bstates f,lr, Sallnas 93907 =- Kat & Allcn OGLEIREE (Bcthany/79. Kcllcy/ 83, Taylor/88) 398 N Madctra, salt4as 99905 -=Jay & Rence STONEHOCXER (Tlson/78, Justln/ E2, Alana/85) I f976 Rcdbank St, Sun Vallcy

lff, =: Charlcs DREIIIES & Donnclyn CURIIS @llcn/78, Bopcrr/8€t, tAllltam/86) PO

91352

llIY =: Lou HEAVENRICH & Suc SMITHHEAVENRICH (Coultcr/86) r l5 Hubbard Hill Rd, Csrdor 137$ GD =: Stan & DcbTaJONES fDarlenc/8€l) 54 Sundlal In, Bcllport I l7l3 =: Pat & Frank LYONS (Chrlstophq/79, Jcftty/ 82) 17 Runyon St, Bay Shorc ff706 g4 =: lhomas MORE. CATHOLIC HOME SCHOOL SUPFORT. 24A E 2O4 St. Bronx 10458 =: Lcrd SANTORO (Eltzabcth/75,Ltly lTS,Arrtonlc/81, Mcrrllcc/84) PO Box 9ill. Ilvlngston Manor 12758 (El =: Gcotrgc & L|sa TREICHLER

Altson & krry BRION (I^aura/8f Julta/84) Box 86, RR 3, Shcrman O6784

Gt:=

.

FL=== Bob &Adrlcnnc BUSHEY (Dantcl/ 81, Amy/84) 2a:16 Lcnt Rd. Apopka 32772 === Jean CUNMNGHAM & Josc CARABALL (Danlcl/7a, Udla/79. Demlan/8s) r78O2 I{E Coungr Rd NESIA. Garncsvtllc 32609 (X) := Barbara & Bob ITREEMAN (Sam/78) 523 N Mcrldtan St, Tallahasscc 32301 =: Chcryl & Stevc IIATFIELD (John/85, frrcrv/86, Clay/88) gilO SE lTth St. flccrffcld Bcach 3t]44f

Ilf := Grty & Gatl

LARSEN (Robln/84.

892O South Shorc

Dr,

UrdorMlle 47468

UE

:=

Kathcrlnc McALPINE (Nathanlcl/

78) PO Box 65, Robbtnston 04671 (changc) === Barbara & Rtck PROSE (Sophla/88) I 4 Gagc St #4.

Brlghton o.toog 04 XD =: Annc & Kcvln BEARESE (Andrsw/ 79, Brlan,/80, Tlmothy/8{}. I{athryn/8s, Mary/ 87) PO Box 188, Chcwwlllc 21721 (IJ| UA

=:

Susan & Marmv AI,IDRADE

:= Iaura

Dadcl | 7V HoME EDUCATORS

SINGLE PAREIiIT NETWORK. PO Box 72, Rodco 88O56 (changc)

(Dorothy/80, Ellzabcth/83, Wtlllam/85. Chartcs/ 88) 8O3:! Van Amburg Rd, tlammondsport 1484O

HI === John & c KIRKLAND (Tracyl8s, Alcxa/84 326 Lanlpo Dr, Kallua 96734 (changc) === Jsn6 & Tlrn PEARIA (Anthony/8l, Vcmon/ 84, Carltn/82 94-22O Polapola Pl, Mtlilarn 96789

$d/86, Mlka/88)

Box 3{158. Iqq Ctarccs 88O03

PRIrcHARD

NC =- Shcrry & Larry BOEHME (Ertca/ 81. Elysc/84, Emtly/86) tl48 Hughcs Plantadon, Fbllocksvlllc 28573 (ID := Morra & John SHELTON (Sarah/80, Ell/84) 5O8 Charlottc St,

(IIl := Lua & Scott WELtr-S (Madclclnc/85. Patrlck/8a) I I 6 North Buchanan Blvd, Durham 27701 6,

Washlngton 27889

OH =: Lort & Charles DURIIAM fi<anl&2, Erlka/84, Andra/88) 3946 Elrnunod Rd, Clsveland Hts 44121 GI) === Lynn & Nancy CHOWNING (Scott/77,Dctu,klal. Davll/85, Mary/871 7ll Ccntury Dr, Moor,c 73160 gll OR =: f,r{arrc FLOYD & Davc TOLER (Ananda/8O, Ccdar/A6l PO Box 966, Cavc Juncdon 97523 (Il) := Marcus & Jan HUNT

(Jason/61) CEMRAL OREGON HOMESCHOOLERS, 1293

t{Mall

No. l3tl7, Bcnd 97701

(changc) === Rlck & Arrn IAHRSON (Ahcc/78,

GROWING WITTIOUT SCHOOUNG #7O

27 Errn/8f) 5360 SW l92nd, Aloha 97007 Sf,IARP & Chuck COUNCIL (Paul/83,

=:

Anrrc

Ellcn/85)

5816 NE Golng. Portland 97218 (I4

PA:=

thomas & Pamcla BRONSON

(Samucl/86) 218 S /t$rd St, Phlladclphta l9lo4 === Erlc & Susan EIPFER (Joshua/8l, Ellsabcth/ 8Il, Dantel/a5, Gabncl/aV 421E Woods Dr, Ltfltz 17543 (I4 =: Uz & Mtchacl I(AIINER (Kate/ 81, R.achcl/8t!, Bcn/86) I l5 \f,I Barnad St, Wcat Chcstcr 19382 := Edward & Joan I(ANE (Jonathan/78, Danlcl/8o, Rcbecca/a6) 167 Maplc St, GordorMllc 175129 =: Dougfas & Lynn SIMMS(BcnJamrn/79, Rcbccca/81. Eltzab€th/84, Alcxander/88) 535 Barts Church Rd. Flarrorrcr 17331

Tll:= Brucc & Berbara BROWN (&ura Grace/79, Joshua/8l, Zachary/85) tM44 Paula I,rl, Chattanooga 37415:= Carol & Scott MILLER (Brad/8{}, Marlcna/85, Jcrurtfcr/88) 11856 Shasta fh, Old Htckory 37f 38 0t) Tf,=:

Marlc RISTROPtI (Robcrt /74,AJtlcr,l

77,E;har/78, lngHd / al, Lctf / A2, Gurmar/84. Paul/86) $8f g CHpplc Clcck Rd, Ptnchurst 77362 (changc) Ts,Tly1gve /

Vf =:

flebblc & Randy XNIFFIN (Screcna/ 76, Emtly/8o, Rlchle/8t1. Mlchclb/aa) Spnrcc I(nob Rd, Mlddlctorn Spgs 05757 (H)

=: HoME SCTIoOL LEGAL DEF'ENSE ASSOCIATION, PaeonLan Sprfngs 22f 29 (changc) := Susan SCANL,oN traul/8s. Pcrrh/ VA

8n 524 N Paxton St. Alexandrla 223(X === Alan & Dcborah TREFztcER [Krtsun/8o,

Iktrtra/8f

.

Erlk/&|, Rachcl/a5. Arma Marlc/a9 lO Bl*kblrd Ct, Stcrlfqg 22170 lF,,

YA=: flr. Rayrnond

(f2l rcadlng & wrlflng, photography; Charlty

(lO) ffshlr{g, Jcrpclry, httcrs := KNIFFIN, Spnrcr Xnob Rd. Mlddlctorrr SprlngsvTO5757: Screcna (13) darrcfqg, Francc, rock muslci Emtly (91 antmals, coobng, rcadrng === Mlchaela COLIARD (f f ) Rt 2 Box 234, McKJnncy TX 75069; f0rmnasdca, stamPs, scwlng =: $fas CONROY (4) RD 5 Box 286, Smoky Corncrs, Willlamsport PA l77Oll machlncs, boks, robots =: ROIXA" l4l4 N Scott Rd. St Johns MI 48879: Lukc (Z rcadtng, wrlung, outdoor+ Emlly (5) playtrrg, su'lmmlng. Seftlls =: Darlcnc .IONES (6) 54 Sundlal Larrc, Bcllport try ll7l3; rcadtng. art, s\vtrnmlng := Elcanor IAII{PEII, l2o€t Kcntwood St, Annapolls MD 2l4ol; horscs, grmrrasflcs, r€edlng =: Jenny STABILEKNOVILES (8) Star Rt, Bangor CA 95914; cardlcmaldng. baldng. btkc- lrldtng === Maryam LAWTON (lO) PO Box 4102, t ntana FL 33465; readlng, bugs, actlng === Qaaa BROSNAN (fO) f37 Thc Crcsccnt, Babylon l,l'lf I1702; lcgc, camptng, chlrnpanzecs === GAILEGOS (f 4) PO Box 60153, Irs veges tiM 89160: Aaron (14) crafts, sewlr{f, movlcs: Randy (l l) btkcs, sclcncc. ffshtng === 113ygp, 216 Marlboro Rd, Lothlan MD 2071ll Pctcr (13) hunflng, trapplng, rraturcr Robyrra (9) hrstory, fashlon. neturc

WHEN YOU WRITE US Plcasc - (l) Put scperatc lterns ofbuslncss on scflaratc shccts of papcr. (2) h:t your namc and addrcss at thc top ofcach lettsr. (O lfyou ask qucsdons, errclosc a sclf-addressed stampcd crwclopc. (4) Tcll us lf lfs OK to publlsh yor.u

lcttcr, and whcthcr to usc your rramc wlth thc story. Wc cdit tcttcrs for spacr and clarlty,

CATALOG INFORMATION Our sprlng catelog, wtth current tnforma-

MOORE, THE

MOORE FOUNDATION. Box

l.

C.:amas

98607

(changc) CAITIADA:

$uc =: Bctsy THOMAS & Jtmmy BN(OLIAS 6nastast/85. Llysscs/87) 4655 Boyer. Montrcal HZ, 3Es

(}IIIER LOOITIONS := Andrca FIJIIER (Ry/ 81. Jcssl/a:D Box I 187, Pt Uncoln SA 5606

Australa =: Rcnata LEUFFEN {Damy/84l Hctzog Str, 14, 4OOO Dusscldorf West Gcrmany (H)

don aboutprlccs and avallablllty, ls now avallablc.

Or.rrfall catalogwlllbcbound lnto GWS *71.

On r€quest, wc wlll photocopy and mall thc GWS rc\'lcrp of ar{f ltcm tn our catalog. Scnd 5O crerrts plus a SASE for oncl add 25 ccnts for cach addttlonal.

FREE gclGDGG Xelptlnc loadcd wlth o<pcrlmcnts: TOPS ldcas, lo970 SMullno Rd, Canby

oR97013.

IOIITEASOI! suppllcs for homce and schools - l2+. Scrrd $l for cataloguc: Mtchacl Olaf Company, 5817 Collcge Avcrruc. OaHand, Caltfomla 94611. ages O

EXCITE YOUR CHILD'S MINDI F\:n. Ctcatlvc.

Dtsclvcry Acttrr|des and ProJccts, Frcc brochurcl Scnd SiilSE to KIf,tS'CORNER. tux 16777-O7, Clcrrcland. Ohio tl4l I6.

A ls for Audubon. An ar6st actM$r workbook.

Rcproduclblc. AgSes 8 to 80. Irarn about mqlor ardsts that everyonc should know, $9.95 potpatt{. ARTISTSi, 34Of Tflcr lanc. Bloomtng-

ton. lN 47tlol.

Homcschooltng famlly movtog ncar Fortagc, WI would llkc to hcar from ncarty homcsdroolcrs.

Wc also havc country spa.ce to sharc. C. Dlxon. c/o 3368 Oak Avc, Stcrrcrrs Polnt WI 54481.

GWS Back f ssuca

*l -#59. $ffi . W-372-147

4.

IftWYORK STATE: Homc Educadon Rcsourct &rvlc.c - Packct of NYS rcqulremcnts. rcrcurcts, samplc lcttcrs and forms ($8.95 plus tax rn NYI; rccordkceplqg systern: workshopq morel SASE for frcc brochule. HERS. RD I Box I 72E, East Chatharn. NY 12060.

tfcr YorL gtrt Attornc!/ - Conc€ntratlt!8 ln cducadonal rtghts of parents and chlldren, tncludtng home cducadon. Scth Rockrnullcr, RDl, Box 172E, East Chatham. llY l2O6Oi 518-3926900.

WTIATS NEI\r? woodcn modcl

hts, art

suprpllcs,

gl$cs, mustcal lnstrumcnts, rnath. sclcnct artd soclal studlcg rcsor:rccs, computcr books. complctc rcadtng program. Frcc catalog, Conttnued grcat sclccHon ofunlt studlcs.

workbooks and Tcachtng Guldcs for LErtRMlre AT HOME, Bor< 27O-G7O, Honaunau HI 96726.

YOI'R CHILI'REf, TO A sEooltD I.ANGIIACEI Dellghttul blltngud

IIiITRODUCE

DECLASSIFIED ADS

story tapc-e, stor5Dooks, flashcards, umrtbooks

Ratcs: 7Oclword. $l /rrord boldfac=. $Smtnlmum.

Plcasc tcll thcsc folks you saw thc ad ln GWS.

and morcl Unlvcrtty r,ccrommcndcd. Easy & keschool througlr clemcntar5r. (Spanlsh or

- Sccldng contact wtth unstnrcturcd homcschoolcrs ln (or consldcrkrgl Ccntral ORDGON

fr.rrt.

Frcnch.l SASE for frcc brochurc. Hcar An' Tcll Advcnturcs, 32O Bunkcr tllll. Houston, TX 77oil4.

Jan Hunt. 129{l NWWall-l3ll7, Bend, OR977Ol; m:F382-1S47.

Orrcg;on.

ADDITIONS TO RESOURCES Ccrttffcd Tcachcrs Wllltr4 to Hclp Homcschoolcrs: Davtd JUSICE, 6t0O Wcstffcld Rd, Moorcstown Nt O8O57 (ru & P& Spccl,al Ed) -= KANE, 167 Maplc St, Gordorrvtllc PA 17529 (EnSlllsh 7-12, Rcadlng K-r2) := aey Sru1p, 2 I 64 E Bcllerruc Rd , Mcrccd CA 9434O (Sccon-

t-

ENTRY FORM FOR DTRECTORY If you would like to be tn the Dtrectory and have not yet told us, send this form, or use a postcard or 3x5 card (only one family per card).

dtry)

Adults (flrst ond last names):

BSfEge5g: Graham ASIIWORIII, 423 Fox Chapcl Rd, Ptttsburgh PA 152238; 412-96{l88O0 := Joocph PAPPAIARDO, Ed.D., Wcstffcld Statc Collcgc, Wcstffcld MA OlOa6; 413-56&

Organizatlon (only tf address is same as family):

331

Chtldren (Names/Blrthyears):

I

Helpful Lauycrs: Tom fXGrada, Dlgrazta Law Ofrcr. 4l$A Ljluntu St. Kallua HI 96734

F\rll Address (Street, Ctty, State, Ztp):

PEN.PALS Chlldren

tlntlng Fn-FL

should *rttc

to thosc llstcd. To bc ltstcd, namc. agc, addrcss.

and l-3 rrords on lntcf,cats

=: STEMERG, 1807 Loma llnda, Vcrnon TX 7&3a4: Chrlsty GRO\I'ING WITHOUT SCHOOLING #7O

If thls ts an address change, what was Prevlous state?

Are you willing to host travellng GWS readers who make advance .uT:rngements in No

wrtung? Yes

-

-

in

2A

HOW TO GET STARTED Herc atc somc ways you can ffnd out t}le legel sltuadon ltr your state. l) Look up the law yoursclf, tn a publtc librarSl or law llbra4r (courthousc, law school, etc.) Laws arc tndexcd: try'school attenda:ncc'or 'cduca6on, cornpulsory.' l9 states have revlsd thelr home educatlon laws slncc 1982 so check the reccnt statute changes. Wc havc prlnted or summarlzcd thesc new laws tn our back lssucs.

Ask thc state departnent of cducation for

2)

an)r laws or regulaflons

Frtatnlng to homeschoollng and/or starEng e prfuatc school. ln some statcs (parttcularly CA, IL, lN, Iry) thcrc arc fcw rcgulatlorrs conccrnlng prlvatc schools and so you can call your home a school. lfyou arc conccrncd about rerrcallngyour namc and address to thc atatc, do thts through a ftend. '

3) Contact statc or local homeschoollng groups. Thls ltst was last prlntcd In GWS #66. and ls updatcd and sold scparatcly for $2 as part of our 'Homeschooling Resource Llst,' Some groups have prepared handbooks or gutd€ltncs on legal mattcrs. Often, thesc groups can tcll you morc about th€ legal cltmatc ln a state than anyone clsc can - whcthcr nenr leglslatlon ts pendlng, for oramplc, and how the present law ls

bclrgenforced.

4) Contact other fiamlllcs ltstcd In our Dlrrectory. Thts ts parflcularly uscful lfyou llve tn a state that lcavcs homcschoollng declslons up to tndlvldud school dtstrlcts, When you contact thcse farnllles. hclp thcm by havlng done somc rcscarch on yorrr orrn ffrst, 5) In gencrd, lt ls not wlsc to start by asldngyour local school dlstrlct they usuall5r don t knorp thc law ctthcr. Bcttcr to gathcr thc facts flrst on yorrr o\r'n.

#71 , the ncxt lssue. But lf wc wcrc to rccetuc thcir renewal bcforc wc scnt our flnal account changes to the mailtng housc (October l), thcy would quallS for the frec bonus lssuc.

Reneural rates are the same as for ncw subscriptions: $2O for 6 tssucs, $36 for 12 lssues, t|48 for l8 lssues.

SUBSCRIPTIONS Subscriptions start wlth thc ncrd lssuc pubhshed. Our current rates arc $2O for 6 lssues, $36 for 12 tssues, $48 for l8 lssues. GWS ls published evcqr other month. A stngle bsue costs $3.50.

Forelgn payments must bc clther moncy orders ln US funds or checks drawn on US banks.

Wc can't afford to acc€pt p€Fonal chccks on Canadlan accounts. ancn lf thcy havc "US funds' ulrittcn on thcm. Outsldc of North Amcrlca, add $lO pcr ycar for alrmall (othcnvlsc, allow 2-3 montls for surface mall).

Becl I[ucr: Wc stnong;ly urge you to 8et thc back lssucs of GWS, cspeclally lf you plan to takc your chlldren out of school. Many of the artlcles arc as useful and lmportant as whcn they were prlnted, and we do not plan to rcpcat the tnformatlon tn them. All back lssues arc kept ln

prtnt.

Our rates for back lssues: any cornblnatlon of back lssues, mallcd at onc tlmc to one address, cost $2 pcrlssuc, plus $2 pcr order. A complete sct costs tlloo, Thcsc ratcs arc for subscrlbcrs onlyl non-subscrlbcr:s pay $3,5O pcr lrsuc.

Indcrcr to GWS (speci$ ltcm numbcr): #380 lndex to GWS #l-3O. $2.5O: f382 Indo( to #31-4O, $l: #384 lndcx to #41-5O. $r.5O; #385 lndex to f5l-60, $2. f38f Sct ofall indo<cs, $5.

Blndcn arc avallablc wlth rods that hold GWS wlthout obscurlng any tcxt. Gold lcttcrs on o(ryer,

RENEWALS At thc bottorn ofthls page ls a form you can usc to r€n€rvyour subscrlptton. Pleasc help us by rcncvlng early.

How can you tell when your subscription

ocp@

12345

JIMAIID MARY SI\{ITH

27Or?A 16MAINST PIAINVTLLE

TiIY

OI I

I1

Thc nurnbcr that ls underllned ln the examplc tells thc numbcr of Orc ffnal lssuc for thc

f3{}0 Blndcrwlth 24 rods (holds GWS #l$lO: f328 Blndcr wlth l8 rods (holds l8 latcrtssues). $9.5O. #326 Set of4 Bindcrs and 78 rods (holds cWS #r-781, $35.

241,

mailed to onc addre. Plcase paywlth onc chccl. Herc arc the current group rates (lX mearrs you get one copy ofcach issuc, 2X means you get 2 coplcs of cach issue, 3X mearE 3 coples, etc.)

lx 2X 3X 4X $( 6X

I year 6lss.

2

12

18 lss.

$20 $36 $48 $60 s70 $78

$36 $64 $go $rl2 $130 $r44

$+a $90 $126

7)( 8X. ctc:

yrs. lss.

3 yrs.

$1s6

$r80 $216 year,

$ I 2 per p€rson p€r

Please scnd tn thc rramcs and addrcases of rncmbers ofyour group sub, 90 that wG can kecp ln touch wtth thern. Thanks.

cws rl| foundcd ln

1977 by John Holt.

Editor - Susannah Shcffcr Managlng Editor - Patrlck Farenga Contribuflng Edltor - Donrra Rlchoux Edttortal Assistant - Mary Maher Editorlal Consultant - Nancy Wallacc Book & Ofllcc Managcr - Ann Barr Subscrlpflon Manager - Day Farenga Book Shtpper/Receiver - Katlry Munro Offlcc Asslstant - Mary Mahcr Holt Assoctatcs Board of Directors:

Ann Barr. Patrtck Farenga (Corporatc Prcaldent), Tom Maher, Dorura Rlchor.u<, Susarrnah

Sheffer

AdvlsorstotheBoard:

Mary Mahcr, Stevc Rupprccht, MaryVarr lloren, Nancy Wallacc

Copyrlght @ 1989 Holt Associ,atcs, Inc. All rlghts r€s€rved.

Add packtng and dcltuery chargc for binders (scc ccntcr pages), Ad&crr Chrngcr: If you're movlng, let us knowyour ncw addrc$s as soon as posslblc.

Pleasc enclosc a recent labcl (or copy ofone). tssues mlsscd because ofa changc In address may be replaced for $2 cach, The post offlcc destroys your mlsscd lssues and charges us a notlflcatton fec, so wc can't afford to replacc thcm

wlthout charge.

Group Subrcrlptlonr: *Fgpxon.]Eslnlry'"b :.pEtS l""l]: SUBSCRIPTION AND RENEWAL FORM

all copics are

-l

g

HH

iFF F}F

q+ EJ€

g

sh

A 619 - ?t8 glq

Usc this form to subscribc or rencw to GRoWING wTHoUT ScHooLING. For renryals, placc tlrc label from a recent lsue bclow. lf possiblc. lf not, prtnt the lnfo. Cllp and send with your chcck or moncy ordcr in 617-864-3100.

USfunds.Or,youmaynowsubscribcorrcnwbyphonewithMastcrcardorVisalcall

Thanks.

New _

subscription

_

Renewal

Gift subscrlption to bc acnt to namc shom.

Account Numbcr (for rcnewals): Namc:

Expiration Code (for renwals): Address (Change? ycs/no)

_____-/

City, Statc, Zip:

.--

6 issucs.

$2O coPics of

GroupSub:

12 issues,

$36

issucs. $

HHH

18 issucs' $48

(scc chart)

EEg

cL70

It is OK to scll my namc and address to other orgimizatlons.

-

GRO\ryING WITHOUT SCHOOUNG #7O

frsf;