GROWING WITHOUT SCHOOLING
74
Solon Sadoway (rlght) ls among those who write about friendship between childrenand adults ln thislssue'sFocus, pages 19-22.
INSIDE THIS ISSUE: News &
Reports p.2-4
Senate Bttl 695, Opposltlon in 8.C., Action Agatnst Mllitary Families ln West Germany, Homeschool Numbers Up tn Arkansas
The Pros and Cons of Formal Iessons p.4-5 Challenges & Concerns p. 5-9 Homeschooling wtth Llttle Money, Single Parent's Arrangements, Reading Difliculties, Crippling PerfecUonism, Homeschooling wlth Young Children
Watchlng Chlldren Learn p. ro-13 Telling Tlme, Worlidng in a Food Co-Op, F)nding OutAbout Computers, Math Phobia, Drawing, Geography
Older Ilomeschoolers p. L4,24-25 Finding an Internship, Plans to Travel, John Holt on Figurlng Out What You Want
Book Revlews p. 15-18 FOCUS: Frlendshlp Between p. t9-22
Chlldren and
Adults
HowAdults Learn
p. 23-24
Resources & Recommendatlons p. 26-2a
Addttlons to Dlrectory, Pen-Pals p.2a-29
Can children and adults be friends? What are those fdendstrlps like? How do children..lftnd adult filends outslde their famllles? These are the questions we asked several people to write about for the Focus of this issue of GWS. We asked young people to write about their friendships with adults, and we asked adults to write about their frlendshlps wlth children or about friendships with adults that they remember from their own childhoods. The responses we received are strildng ln one particular regard: ftendship between children and adults seems to be much easler now than tt used to be. Of the three adults who responded to our question, two emphasized their memories of belng excluded from adult life. They wrote about feeling that adult-child friendshtp was lmposslble or at least dfficult. The chtldren, on the other hand, were unanimous tn thelr belief that friendship with adults was possible, natural, and important. 'It never seemed like a big deal,'wrote Lluvia Crockett of the various friendships she has had with adults. 'I don't think it matters what age best lilends are,' Meredith Conroy wrote, providing clear tesUmony that she doesn't suffer from those feelings of excluslon. The children tended to agree that friendshtps with adults were often dtlferent from friendshlps with other children, but from thelr letters lt sounds as though those differences only serve to make things richer and more interesting. If it doesn't matter what age best friends are, a child certainly has a greater range of possible filends to choose from than we have traditionally imaglned. I suspect it's safe to say that the ctrlldren who wrote for this issue of GWS have more experience with adult friendship - more good experience, ln particular - than the general populatlon of chlldren. What they say reminds us of how important such experience - or, at least, the opportunity for such experience is to young people. It suggests that tnstead of being socially deprtved, many homeschoolers have access to a valuable kind of soctal experience that we ought to try to make available to all young people. Afewyears ago I attended a teenagers'discussion at a homeschooling conference (adults were allowed to observe but not participate). Talking about how she liked havlng filends who were older than she was, one gtrl sald, "\Mhywould we want to be only with people our age? We need more than people who have the same problems we have; we need people who can tell us how they solved those problems." Having older friends - at any stage of life - can help us see that the way things are now isn't the way they are always going to be, and, as this teenager observed, sometimes that's Just what we need to know. Young people don't want to be told, "These are the best years of your life.'They want to be told - or, even more lmportant, shown - by the adults around them, 'Those years are good, but lt gets even better, so keep on corntng.' Ifyoung people can be around adults who glve them the feeling that adulthood ls worth stlcklng around for, that it ls a time of more possibility rather than less, they will feel better about what lles ahead for them. Parents can do this for thetr children. of course. Friendships with other adults simply add to a child's sense of what is Susannah Sheffer avallable and possible.
-