Growing Without Schooling 89

Growing Without Schooling 89

$4.50

A lot of people wonder how homeschoolers are going to turn out. Gradually, as homeschoolers grow up, we're getting the chance to find out. For this issue of GWS, we interuiewed four homeschoolers who have moved beyond the family home. There are o[ course many more than four homeschoolers at this stage of life, but these four had so much of interest to say that we decided to go for depth rather than breadth. In the interviews. these four homeschoolers - two now in college and two working - explore how their homeschooling affects the way they now view

Jacob Spicer (center) with his mother, sister. and brother. Jacob is amonA those lnterviewed for this issue's Focus on Grown-Up Homeschoolers.

-p_.

15-21

Inside this Issue: News & Reports p. 3-5 Access to School Activities in CT, Cooperative Superintendent, Fighting for Rights in Gennany

Homeschooling Another Parent's Child p. 6 Tfhen Child and Parent Don't Get Along p. z-a Challenges & Concerns p. 9- l l Quitting Can Be OK, Handling Criticism, Time lor Oneself, Doubts, More on African-American Homeschoolers

lVatching Children Learn p. r2-t4 Leaming through PIay, Rethinking Cheating, Social 4 Year Old, Running Teen Workshop, More on Video Games

FOCUS: Grown-Up Homeschoolers p. l5-21 Intervlews with four homeschoolers aged 19-22

Additlons to Directory, Resources, Pen-Pals p.2l-23

adulthood, work, friendships, and many other things. They address many of the issues that concern anxious parents who are wondering about their children's future.

One of those issues has to do with the question of preparation. Will kids who grow up without school be ready for adult life? For life outslde their parents' homes?

For school, if that's what they choose, or for regular work?

These four answer yes. In some cases they can see that their homeschooling experiences directly prepared them for what they're doing now. Emily Murphy talks about how her habit of reading and then talking with her family about what she read prepared her for her college's curriculum, which centers on reading and discussion. I-aura Gelner describes how her college's "block system," in which students focus intensely on one area o[ study and then go on to another, suited her perfectly because in homeschooling she spent long periods of time focusing on specific interests.

Sometimes their point is simply that homeschooling wasn't a hindrance. Not having a high school diploma didn't keep Jacob Spicer or Vanessa Keith from getting a job, for example. Not having spent a lot o[ time in a classroom didn't make the college students unable to adjust to the classroom later on.

These kids are able to fit in when fitting in is important, but what is especially interesting about their discussion of preparation is their commentary on when they don'tfit in, and don't want to. l,aura Gelner says of her first year at college, "l felt like I could do what I wanted and not just follow the crowd. I knew who I was." Vanessa Keith speaks of enjoying work, not seeing it as negative, whereas many people she meets have the opposite attitude. Jacob Spicer says that he isn't afraid to disagree when everyone else is agreeing, and that even in a work setting he doesn't believe unquestioning obedience is essential. In these and other ways, these people are dolng more than just fitting in. They are bringing their unusual perspectives to the situations they find themselves in; they are changing what's expected instead ofjust adapting to existing expectations. To my mind, that's a wonderful wav to have turned out.

Susannah Sheffer

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newslelter, anroltg othcrs. Ifyou haven't been able to attend a honre-schoolinq conference, or simply if these speakeis or topics interest yotr, {lrese lapes would be worthwhile. As we sug6lest about ilre tapes of John Holt's speeches that we sell lrere, you could gather several homeschoolers together to listen to the tapes and then discuss them. For the NCFIA tapes, write NCF{A Boutique, PO Box 431. petaluma CA 94953-043 I, or call 7 O7 -Z 65-5375. Most tapes are $5 each, plus $2.bO shipping.

Donna Rlchoux and Noma.

Office News

& Announcements [SS:l As we said in the last issue. we're busy making the transition from one computer system to another, and we thank all of you foryour patience since in sone cases this has meant that our usual operations have gotten delayed.

I've

just listened to tapes of some of

the talks from this year's Northern

California Homeschool Association conference, and it seems to me that homeschoolers around the country would enjoy these tapes, too. There are talks by the Colfaxes ('The 47-Acre Classroom").

John Gatto ('The Hidden War Between Schooling and Education"), Grace Llewellyn ("Eight Reasons Not to Give Up On Homeschooling When your Child Turns 13"), Peter Stillman ("Families Writing"), my own talk on "Self-Directed karners: What Do They Need Us For Anyway," and others, and there are tapes ofworkshops on starting a home business,

working with state legislators, producing a

Speaking of the NCFLA,, Mary Griffith writes in that group's latest newsletter, "When you first start lhomeschoolingl, there are indeed decisions to make about such things as legal options and learning styles - you have to learn what your choices are and decide what exactly it is that you are trying to do. But the nice thing aboul homeschooling is that none ofyour decisions are irrevocable.

"Homeschooling is learning by trial and error. If something doesn't work scheduling, style, content, whatever - yotr are not obligated to stick with it until your kids are 18. (Flexibility is one of the reasons you're homeschooling, isn't it?)"

I had been thinking about this very thing, and Mary's comments prompt me to ask GWS readers to write about rnistakes you've made and how they dren't irrevocable. When I say mistakes, I mean times you've done something that didn't work for you or turned out not to be the ripht choice. Maybeyou purchased a packaged curriculum and found out that the kids hated it. Maybe you (thc parent) upset a child by intefering too much or, on the other hand, by not paying enough attention to something. Maybe you (the child) got involved in an activitv vou wished vou hadn't. or passed up an opportunity you wish you'd acted on. I thlnk others, and perhaps especially new homeschoolers, would benefit from hearing that families can make mistakes and then can change what they've done (switch to a new curiiculum or try doing

without one, quit the activity or find another way to take it up, etc.).

Of course, we've printed these sorts of stories in the past, but let's hear more.

Here are some other things we'd love to hear about:

. Fermilies learning sonrething together, something that's new for everyone; . Howyou handle things when one child gets involved, or wants to get involved, in something that the rest

of the family isn't involved in:

. How children and teenagers handle critical relatives, neighbors, etc. We've heard a lot

fi'orrr p:rrents about this: rlo kicls [rzrvc thoughts to contribute, too? . Kenttrcky homescl-rooler Debbie l(night wants to know if zrrry honrcschoolers who are now in college have lracl clealillgs with the National Collegc: Athletic Association. Apparently the NCAA has very strict requirements about which students can conrpete in college athlelics. and Debbie's daughtcr. who

homeschoolecl all through high school. told she didn't have the right paperwork to conrpete. even though she was already accepted by the college itself. r.vas

Donna Richoux. who has worked with Holt Associates since 1979. is nroving to lhe Netlrerlands with her fanrily irr rniclOctober. Donna has been an integral part of Holt Associates since the early days. Her contributions have been extremely valuable. and we will count on lrer involvenrent in various ways even when she's otr the other side of the Atlantic. Donna writes: It's hard to say goodbye to people who may not even know I've been around. but

I'm going to try. After leaving the editorship of GWS in I986 and giving birth to my daughter in 1987, I came back to Holt Associates helping out in a variety of adminlstrative ways - developing computer programs, doing bookkeeping, help-

ing to plan mailings, printing olrt mailing

lists. proofreading GWS and the book catalogs, and doing other odds and ends.

Now my family has the opportunity to live in Europe while my husband does some research, and we will leave by ilre end of October and stay for at least a year.

We are sad to leave our home and our q'ork here. but we can't pass up this chance. We are looking forward to learning new cusloms and to traveling from our home base in the Netherlands. We have already made some exciting contacts through the GWS Directory and look forward to meeting nlore.

Holt Associates has been a primarv focus of my life since lg7g and I will qJite likely. after some time spent settling into our new home, do some projects at long range. such as editing a long-promlsed series of topical booklets based on the back issues of GWS. I was honored to have the chance to work with John Holt for six years. and likewise I have been honored to work with the dedicated, sensible people who have been keeping this company going since his death - Pat Farenga, Susannah Sheller, Day Farenga. Mary Maher. Ginger Fitzsimmons, and now a newer round of equally competent people whom I hope will stay with them for the long haul. I am proud of having been part of creating the

structure of individual responsibility anri group cooperation that has allowed us the flexibility to respond to ups and downs.

Finally, I repeat my grafitude to you, our long-time friends, supporters, customers. and contributors, whose enthusiasrn, bravery, curiosity, and patience allow us to keep doing what we're cloing. You'll be hearing from me again.

Growing Without Schooling #89

3

News & Reports Access

to School Activi-

ties in Connecticut LindcL Schroth Se ptembe r /

(CI) utrote in tlrc

October is sue

oJ'

HearthNotes,

tlle neusletter oJ lhe ConnectictLt l.Iome Educators Associalion; ... Last winter I asked anyone whose children were participating in activities in the public schools to contact me. Although I lbund only a handful of school systems that were allowing children to participate, those eight systems were spread all over

the state. Homeschooled chilclren have taken instrument and bancl lessons, chorus, biologl and computer labs, speech therapy, and art and music classes. They have also joined intramural sports. clais trips, assemblies, and the Talentecl and Gifted program.

Encouraged by these rep<lrts,

I

contacted my local superintendent of schools to see if my I l -year-okl daughter would be allowed to join the middle school chorus. He was neither strongly supportive nor very negative, but saicl the decision was up to the school board, not him. He brought up my request informally after the board meeting, and subsequently told nre the response was negative. I told hint I fourrd that unacceptable, and strbnritted a formal request to the board lbr their public consideration. At the first nleeting, I presented our arguments and the data I hacl gathered about other school districts.

Our system's Director of Support Services presented a six-page position paper detailing all the reasons why he thought it was a bad idea. His main points were that the school district had no obligation to provide this service for homeschoolers, that the schools could not receive ECS funds (money from the state) for non-enrolled participants, that the teachers ancl support statTwould have to spend an inordinate antount of time supervising homeschoolers, ancl that this precedent would leave them open to requests for privately schooled children to also participate in public school activities.

He did admit that insurance coverage was not a problem, because homeschoolecl stuclents would autonratically be covered without extra expense to the school.

The board decided to seek an opinion from their lawyer. At the next meeting, his report was discussed. Basically he saicl that there was no legal opinion for hirn to base an opinion on. The school board was not legally required to say yes to orlr request, nor were they forced to szry no. Lle left it entirely up to the board, and provided a suggested release form for parents to sign, should the board decide to allow it.

During these months of debate, our case was covered fairly extensively in the local papers. I had contacted the HartJord.

Courant to see ifthey were interested, and after their first article was published, the

Growing Without Schooling #89

Middletoton Press and Regional Standard jumped on the bandwagon. All the editorials supported Alison's right to join the chorus. I think this publicity was helpful in changing the nrinds of some of the school board nrembers.

In the end, the board voted 5 to 4 to allow Alison to be in the Middle School chorus for the lg92-93 school year. She will be allowed to ride the bus to school, since the chorus meets for the first period on Wednesdays. They did not vote on any general proposal to allow other homeschoolers to be in other activities, and I don't know what will happen if other homeschoolers approach the board. We plan to be on our best behavior this year, hoping that if there are no problems they will be more receptive to future requests.

During this process, I discovered that participation in interscholastic sports is not uncler the control of local school clistricts. Rules regulating eligibility for sports are decided by the Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference. Last November the CIAC requested an opinion from attomey Mark Stapleton, lawyer for the state board ofeducation, which stated that "...school districts may reserve the right to refuse access to their facilities to students who have clearly opted not to enroll in the public schools and thusly cannot expect to receive the benefit of a school education and its ancillary services." On the basis of this opinion, the CIAC Board of Control ruled that homeschoolers are not eligible under CIAC regulations. I believe that this ruling is susceptible to change ifpressure can be brought to bear on the CI"AC. It may be more difficult because none of the members are people I know personally. However, I intend to pursue this during the next few months because I know that my boys are interested in sports and that in some other states homeschoolers are eligible for

interscholastic sports teams.

I would love to get updated informa-.

tion from any homeschoolers about participation in school activities, or information about sports participation in other states.

ISS:l We sent Linda information about stories on this subject that have been published in recent issues of GWS, but if anyone has any further information, send it to Linda, and we'd appreciate a copy, too.

Cooperative Mass. Sup't.

ISS:] We are always happy to hear about homeschoolers who have good relationships with their local superintendents and haven't had to compromise their beliefs or homeschooling methods to achieve them. Dawn kase. on our staff. received a very positive response from her local superintendent when she submitted her final reports for this year and her

proposal for the following year. (ln Massachusetts, homeschoolers have to get approval from their superintendents each year. Part of Dawn's agreement was that she would submit quarterly reports about the children's activities.) After receiving the Leases' materlal, Superintendent Walter A. Devine wrote, "l have learned a tremendous amount about homeschooling and how it can be a very rewarding experience educationally, socially, and in the attainment of values." gear:

Flom Dawn's proposal Jor the coming

As you read our philosophy of educa-

tion and basic learning goats for our children you will realize that we believe in a hands-on approach to learning. Due to

this it is easier for us to keep track of our

children's progress and then report on that progress to your oflice instead of trying to predict all that we will do in advance.

As you know, we have a copy ofthe "Arlington Public Schools Guide to Elementary Curriculum Objectives" from kindergarten to grade six. We are aware of

what the guidelines are for each subject area.

We would like to continue to keep a learning journal for each child, a list of books read, a list offield trips taken, and a portfolio of their work. We will be tuming in semi-annual home education synopses...

Here are some excerpts Jrom the sgnopses that Datun wrote aboutCourtney (7) and Spencer (9). Note that in such a report Aou're not limited to tangible products; gou can list examples oJ what children understand or can do. For example, Dawn urites, "Courtney recognizes numbers less than lOO and is continuing the process oJ recognizing numbers ouer 1OO.

[From Courtney's Math section:l Courtney continues to add and subtract single and two-digit numbers orally, using manipulatives, and in writen form.

Courtney understands the concept of whole, halves, quarters, thirds, and eighths.

Courtney gets an allowance and a weekly amount for an extra chore. She is GROWING WITHOUTSCHOOLING #a9, Vol. lS, No. 4. ISSN #0745-5305. Published bi-monthlv

by Holt Associates. 2269 Mass Ave, Cambridge MA02l40. $25lyr. Dateoftssue: October f, 1992.

Second-class postage paid at Boston, MA and at addittonal mailing offlces.

POSTMASTER: Send address changes to GWS, 2269 Mass Ave, Cambridge MA O2l4O. ADVERTISERS: Deadlines are the

numbered months.

lsth ofodd-

4 currently saving $.75 a week towards a long-term goal. In addition she saves towards short-term goals and makes frequent purchases.

Courtney can read and understand our outside thermometer.

[From Courtney's Science section:l Courtney continues to develop an understanding of earth, weather, and seasonal changes.

Courtney has continued to have

experiences involving natural/physical sciences. These experiences have included discussions regarding evolution and creatlon, growing plants, and natural defense mechanisms ln living creatures.

Some of the experlments or exhibits Courtney has participated in are: planning a garden, giant bubbles, weights and measures, shadow pictures. whale watch, two-day camping trip ... [from Spencer's Reading section:] Spencer continues to "read between the lines" ofbooks and stories and predict outcomes.

Spencer continues to recognize antonyms, synon5rrns, and homonyms.

Spencer continues to understand more fully the differentiation of fact and

fantasy, fiction and non-fiction.

[from Spencer's Social Studies/ Health section:l Spencer continues to develop his map reading and globe reading skills.

Spencer continues to learn about and understand diversities of cultures.

Spencer continues to be a responsible citizen and continues his study ofcurrent events through Weeklg Reader and discussion.

Spencer continues to develop his sense ofworld, national, state, and local

history.

Spencer expands his knowledge of geography and other cultures through 3-21 Contact and National Geographic World magazines and Carmen San Diego and 3-2I Contact television shows.

Fighting for Rights

in

Germany

Renata kuffen of Dusseldorf. Germany, has been trying to win the right to homeschool her son for several years.

Article 2 of Protocol No. I of German law states that "No person shall be denied the right to education. In the exercise ofany functions which it assumes In relation to educatlon and to teaching, the State shall respect the right ofparents to ensure edu-

cation and teaching in conformity with their own religious and philosophical

convictions." Renata Leuffen interprets this to mean that homeschoollng is allowed, but apparently no court has yet agreed with this interpretation. Renata's case was heard by the European Commission of Human Rights on July 9, 1992. The decision went against Renata.

Virginia Birt Baker, a homeschooler from Texas who has been corresponding

regularly with Renata l,euffen, sent us a copy of the Commission's decision. Some excerpts: [The decision describes the various lower courts' decisions which denied Renata Leuffen the right to homeschool, and then continues:l The applicant complains of the court decisions by which the card of her son was partially committed to a tutor with a view to securing her child's attendance in school ... and to establish an expert medical and psychiatrtc oplnion of the child.

She alleges that these decisions were in breach ofher right to ensure her son's education and teaching at home in conformity with her own religious and

philosophical convictions.

[The decision then quotes Article 2 of Protocol l, which we've quoted above, and comments:l The Commission notes that the first sentence ofArttcle 2 of Protocol I enshrines the fundamental right of the child to education. This right by its very nature calls for regulation by the State, regulation which may vary in tlme and place according to the needs and resources ofthe

community and of individuals. ... The second sentence ofArticle 2 recognizes the role ofthe State in education as well as the rights of parents. The provision aims at safeguarding pluralism in education, which is essential for the preservation of the "democratic society" as conceived by the Convention. In view of the power of the modern State, it is above

all through State teaching that this aim must be realized.

In the Commission's view it follows that Article 2 of Protocol No I does not prevent the state from establishing compulsory schooling, be it in State or private schools of satisfactory standard, and that verification and enforcement of educational standards are an integral part

ofthat right.

...

The State. in fulfilling the functions assumed by it in regard to education and teaching, must take care that information or knowledge is conveyed in an objective, critical, and pluralistic manner. The State is forbidden to pursue an aim of indoctrination that might be considered as not respecting parents' religious and philosophical convictions. That is the limit that must not be exceeded. ...

The applicant is of the opinion that compulsory schooling of her son would violate her right to ensure his education in conformity with her religious and philosophical convictions as guaranteed by Article 2 of Protocol No. l.

However, the European Court of Human Rights has held that the convictions of parents must not conllict with the fundamental right of the child to education ... This means that parents may not refuse the right to education of a child on the basis of their convictions.

The applicant is of the opinion that she can ensure the education of her son by herself. The Commission notes that the national authorities have in detail

evaluated the possibilities in this respect and have come to the conclusion, with the help ofan expert. that education only by the applicant o[ her son worrlcl be danlaging for the chilcl. For this reason a public authority was appointed (utor to arrange for his attendance at a school. It is clear that the tutor rnust choose a school which as far as possible meets the applicant's convictions. In fact the son has been enrolled at a Catholic elementary school the applicant being a practicing Catholic.

Under these circumstances the Commission linds that the rights of the applicant under Article 2 of Protocol No. I were not violated by the decisions complained of. ...

Renata

kuffen

welcomes letters of

support from homeschoolers in other countries. Her address is Eisenstr. 39.

4000. Dusseldorf l, Germany. You nright also write to the European Court of l-lunran Rights, which made this recent decision against Renata. The address is PO Box 43 l, R6, 67006, Strasbotrrg-Cedex. France.

Attn: Mr. J. Marcetus. The case to refer to is Register Number HR-WS 160.D. JMl id.PD 1868 (Renata leuffen against

Germany).

Information about homeschoolers' achievements may help her case, as well as information about homeschooling's legal history in the U.S. and elsewhere. See John Holt's Teach Your Oun, for example, for information about court cases in the U.S. that challenged the idea that compulsory education had to mean compulsory schooling.

News Briefs For addresses o.f state and \ocal organizations, see our Direct.ory of Organizatiotls in GWS #84 (u,tith updates in strbsequent issuesJ or our Homeschooling Resource List, auailoble Jor $2.5O.

Governor Vetoes llomeschool Bill Arizona: ln GWS #86 we wrote that homeschoolers were working to pass House Bill 2O75, which would have allowed parents to choose from amon$ several standardized tests (instead of being required to use the Iowa Test of Basic Skills), and would have given parents more choices about where to submit the test results. The May issue of the Bethany Home Educators newsletter reported that HB 2075 looked like it wouldn't pass.

Insteacl, a Senator had attached a

homeschool amendment to an unrelated

bill, and this amendment was apparently much less favorable to homeschoolers.

Now the July issue of the BHE newsletter says that the governor vetoed the homeschool bill, making it possible for homeschoolers to negotiate a new bill during the coming legislative session.

.Mandatory Attendance AEe Wasn't Lowered

Georgla: Billie Jean Bryant writes in the Srrmmer 1992 issue of the Georgians for Freedom in Education newslettir that the state's compulsory school age has not

Growing Without Schooling #89

5 been lowered from 7 to 6, as had been thought. l'here had been conlusion over whether the recently passerl Senate Bill 155 included a section dealing with the nrandatory attendance age, but the latest word is that no such section was inclucled in the bill as it was passed.

New Rules Give Approval Power

Back to School Boards

Malne: In GWS #87 we wrote that there had been some conlusion over whether local school boards could be ir-rvolved in the homeschooling approval process. Although enlergency legislation signed in l9B9 stipulated that only the State Commissioner could approve or clisapprove of honreschool applications. rules drawn up by the Departnrent ol' Education seemed to suggest that local s<rhool boards could be involveci, too. llonreschooler Sean Wolf' Ilill now writes that these rules have been amended, irrrd the new rules reslore power to the lot:ul school boards (reversing the emergency legislation passed in 1989). Sean writes. "l)otential horDeschoolers now rnust llrst have an agreeltrent with the loc:rl school board as to what the local board's role is in the review and oversight of applications. Each school board is to adopt its own policy and to make this policy available on request. School board poli(:ies nlay now require an anntral review of each homeschool progranr, which must be agreed to prior to the start of honreschooling. The assessntent nlay or may not in<:lurle l) standardized testing; 2) a test the school board develops that is'appropriate to the student's educational plan'; 3)

review and acceptance by a certified teacher; 4) presenting a portfolio to a'local homeschooling support group whose

menrbership includes a certified teacher or administrator': OR 5) review by 'a local aclvisory board selected by the superintendnt which sliall include one administrative Llnit personnel and two home

instruction tutors."'

Guarding Against Restrictive Legislation Maryland: ln GWS #87 we wrote that homeschoolers testified against two bills that might make homeschooling regulations nrore restrictive. Issue #57 of the Maryland Home Education Association newsletter now reports that both bills died in conrmittee. MHEA newsletter editor Manfred Smith writes, "What is important to understand is that both bills reflected a concem over school clistricts who are violating the lcurrentl regulations by not properly monitoring the homeschooling Iirnrilies in their juriscliction. ... If yotr are one of the homeschoolers living in such a district, you might wonder why someone like nryself who has opposed public school involvement with honreschooling since the beginning of'the movement is so concerned about schools that aren't

bothering homeschoolers.

"Simple. We have worked many years to secure regulations that are reasonable and minimize the burden placed on homeschoolers. ... When any party begins to violate the contract that was agreed uporr it threatens the entire arrangement.

'l'hese bills that were introduced could very well have resulted in legislation that

would be far more restrictive and odious than what is currently in place. ... We need to insist that everyone follow the regulations. Homeschoolers in counties [that aren't complyingl need to call the Board of Education and insist that they schedule annual reviews. We must hold them accountable to the regulations because when the time comes (and it will) and we are testi$/ing in front of some legislative comnlittee, we need to be ready to submit evidence that we are happy to show what our children are learning, but that some counties aren't interested!"

Changes in Testing Rules Oregon: In July, the Board of Education adopted several changes to Oregon's Homeschool Administrative Rules, accorcling to the Summer I992 issue of the Oregon Home Education Network's newsletter. The rna.ior changes are: l) Parents can now choose to have their child tested initially, beginning at age 7, with a verbal or written first or second grade test.

Annual testing (which is required in Oregon) after that would be at succeeding grade levels. 2) The list of approved tests now includes current available versions and also adds the category, 'Tests adopted or approved by the Board that qualiff for use in the required statewide assessment of students attending public schools." 3) 'l'here's now a new option allowing students not making satisfactory progress (according to the superintendent) to work with a certified teacher. The other option is to send the child to school for the remainder of the year.

clonlara School Home Based Education program is one of a kind. It provides home educarion families with a comprehensive, innovative program. with clonlara school, home educating parents have CHOICES galore.

Clonlara School Home Based Education

Program

Enrollment in clonlara School gives famiries the peace of mind that assoca[ion with a fully-functioning, innovative, privite school provides.

Parents receive help in designing and operaring an individualized home based education program. counseling and guidance on every aspect of educating a,re as near at hand as parents need for them to be and ask for them to be. All dealings with ourside off,rcials are handled with and for a family by Clonlara staff (if necessary/desired by parents). clonlara School Home Based Education program serves all age ranges - early education through secondary. In short, ALL of the benefits of private school enrollment are available to home educating effouees.

For more information send this ad along with your name and address to: Clonlara School 1289 Jewett St. Ann Arbor, MI 48104 Growing Without Schooling #89

Pat Montgomery, Ph.D.

Director (313) 769-4sr5

6

Homeschooling Another Parent's Child

a

FYom Ame Vanorio (OH), toho coordinates SPECIAL, a netu:ork Jor

single

-

parent

homeschooler s :

I've Just started homeschooling another child in addition to my own. I do daycare in my home, and I had Daniel last year as a daycare child. He had a lot of difficulties in first grade, many of the typical problems that lead people to homeschooling. He just wasn't ready. He wasn't at all interested in learning how to read, so he wasn't fitting into the school's schedule. His father had read some articles about homeschooling and was intrigued by it, and I started giving him more information. His father is a single parent who works outside the home during the day.

Daniel lives with him full-time.

Daniel actually asked me in the middle of last school year if he could stay with us instead of going to school. He was unhappy, hated to get up in the morning. I think he was bringing up the idea of staying home to his father, too. When he brought it up with me, I thought aborrt it and it seemed possible to me because Daniel is the same age as my son Joshua, and I'd been with Daniel for a year so I knew him and knew he and Joshua were compatible.

At first Daniel's father felt that he would try to work out the problems at the school, and he did make numerous attempts, wrote notes to the teacher, had conferences. But at the end of the year he felt he hadn't gotten an5rwhere and Danlel

had been reduced to tears, so then we

started seriously discussing having him at home with me.

Because I had had Daniel as a daycare child, I knew his father's attitudes, but I can see that if people come together like this wlthout knowing each other previously, they may need to work out what thelr expectations are. One aspect of our situatlon is that I come from a very differ-

ent religious background front Daniel's family - I'm a Native American, and his family is Protestant. In our house we read a lot of mythologr from Native American cultures and other cultures. but we also read Biblical stories. I don't tell Daniel that he has to believe what I believe. In other ways my style is very compatible with Daniel's style, because I'm extremely hands-on oriented.

I know two women who pooled resources and homeschooled their chil-

dren together, and there were a lot of differences between the kids, so I think it's very important in this situation that the kids be compatible. One difference between Josh and Daniel is that Josh is very mathematically oriented and wants to do

/ / \ '

,tt For more on

-\

single-parent \

homeschoolers, see GWS #74,77,84.\

SfECtal's address is 2 Pineview Dr, Amelia OH 45102.

high school math, he thinks that's fun, and Daniel isn't oriented that way at all.

But they're both really into building things. To me, it's not any more work to have another child here. because I m used to having a lot of kids around. But I can see how it might seem like twice as much work to someone else who was used to having an only child for many years.

When I knew that we were going to have Daniel w'ith us. I sat down and talked to the boys individually ancl then together.

Foremost in my ntind was not the homeschooling per se but tl-re fact that I wanted them to know it would be OK to get mad at each other. They shouldn't have to feel they are inseparable: they don't have to play together all the tirne. One concem Josh had was that he would have to share

all his friends with Daniel. Josl-r has been in our homeschooling group for four years,

Pinewood School Brinos Home Educotion fo Yo-u (303) 838-44r8

Olivio C. Lorio

Director

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and he has lots of friends there. He wondered if he would have to take Daniel by the hand and introduce him to everyone.

TWice a month we have an activity called Open Home at one of our group member's farms - it's basically a social time, and sometimes we have a planned activity too.

I told Josh that he wouldn't have to stay with Daniel during those times, that Daniel would make hls own friends. We now have so many members that there's no lack of little boys there. Daniel is shyer than Josh, but I told him that he would make friends and that he could stay with me until he was comfortable.

When Daniel first came out of school. he was anti-reading, anti-school. He wouldn't even listen to books that I read

a

aloud. But gradually he's coming out of' that. He does occasionally speak about school - things he did that he didn't like, or that were fun. I'm not sure, but I think he understands that being with me isn't going to be like going to school. I did sit down and ask the boys what kinds of things they wanted to do this year. We now have so many activities going on in our honreschooling group that we had to pick which ones we wanted to do. I also asked if there was anything they were especially wondering about or wanted to pursue, and we wrote down what they said. One of Josh's was, "[Iow can we rewire the house to rnake the lights blink on and ofl?" He's really into electricity. They both wantecl to play the recorder. and we agreed to practice Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. They wanted their own recorders. Daniel wanted to learn about dinosaurs, to go to the natural history museum. They also want to build a go-cart so they can have races.

Even though it's not requirecl by Ohio law. I write down what we do. It's really nice to have the record, and I imagine that Josh will show it to his own children in twenty years. So I'll do that wlth Daniel also. That way his father can look at it and say, "Oh. you dissected a frog today," and they can talk about it. He'll be able to keep in touch with what Daniel is doing, and he can make suggestions to me or ask questions. If Daniel says to his father, "l wish we coulcl do this tomorrow," his father can let nre know. We've pooled our financial resources to buy art and science supplies for both boys.

I earn my living by doing daycare with school-aged children. I cut down last spring to having kids before and after school. so that I have more time during the

day for my owrl work - for my writing career and for the graduate degree that I'nt slowly working on. Also, I wanted more time for homeschooling activities. When I was cloing daycare all day I wasn't able to get Josh to all the activities in our homeschooling group that he wanted to go to.

I've also worked outside the home. At one point Joshua went to a sitter, and at another time he went to another homeschooling family. I was an archaeologist, and I was working on a short-term project near where this family lived, so they agreed to watch Joshua during that time.

He was 5 then.

Running SPECTAL has given me a chance to see the different kinds of arrangements people work out. I know one woman who lives with her parents. Her kids spend part of the time with their granclparents and part of the time with a sitter. I know another woman with children aged g, 15, I 7. The mother works away from home part time, and the kids are cornfortable staying on their own at honre, or going to the library or the park.

Growing Without Schooling #89

When Child and Parent

Don't Get Along Fathers and Daughters Julie Scandora

Orlr relationship inrproved because, first, I realizecl it needed help, and, second, I made

NVA) turttes:

concerted efforts to give her what she most needed.

The query from the mother whose husband "unsuccessfully" homeschoolecl their daughter ("When Chilcl ancl parent Don't Get Along," GWS #88) brings out more questions than answers. ls the father

in favor of honreschoolinf? What role

does

lre see the at-honre parent taking in homeschooling - active or more passive? Does he see his daughter's presence as interfering in his work at honre? Does he resent being the low-wage earner and assuming the traditionally female role in the home?

What is his relationship with his claughter

otherwise - healthy or clistant ancl conterrtious? Has either saicl why the year clicl not work otrt?

Was it conflict ilt personalities or in educational philosophies?

It is hard to offer advrce without knowing rnore. If the year did not work out, solnethir.g is likely amiss. Forcing the father upon the daughter does not seem best unless at

least one is willing to try to improve the situation. I would suggest considering alternative, temporary solutions. Can ttre mother work at her job at home, at least part time? Is it possible with the school and woulcl the daughter consider school par( time? Coulcl arranliements be made with another homeschooling family to trade and share care and schooling during the day?

But these are temporary soltrtions because schooling seenls to be the sicle issue. The main event is the fatherdaughter relationship. For a look at the powerful influence, positive and negative, that a father has on his daughter, read

Fathers and Daughters (William Appleton, 198 I , Doubleday). lts purpose is to help women in their relationships with men and in their careers by exarnining their past and present relationships with their fathers. That analysis can then be used to improve how they feel about their fathers, thus opening them to an improvenrent in other aspects of their lives. The book can be a daunting read from the perspective of a father of a young girl. But it does give important insight into the fact that a father is at least as influencing on his claughter's development as the mother is.

I have found that homeschooling gives nte the hrxrrry of time lo work o,,f -y relatiorrship with our nriclctle chilcl, a claughter. She seenred nrost needful of altention and at:ceplernce fi-clnr rne. (Suclr are oflen hard to give when the attempts lbl attention are annoying disturbances.)

Growing Withotrt Scl'rooling #89

(most of which have been covered well in GWS), our children have thrived in this environment academically. We use the Oak Meadow curriculum loosely and have an unstructured approach to homeschoolir-rg. We are sin:ply living our lives together and all ol us are growing and leaming as wego.

So I am prompted to write now because when our daughter was 4 or so, things started to sour. I found myself more and more in conflict with her. She is a

I began homeschooling rny three <'hildren a year ago with no entotional support fronr nry husband. He allowed me to homeschool the children, but it wasn't with his support. After a year he is somewhat positive abor,rt the experience. He sees that the children are developing well in all areas, that they are able to get together with peers, that they are happy. It helps that we have a friend who is a teacher and who gives feedback on their development.

That is, Ibr the skeptic, it helps to have an outsicler's opinion. ln any case, it's a slow process of enlightenrlent and acceptance.

very spirited, boisterous, willful child. She expresses herself in operatic tones; she can be very noisy and very nasty. She is very physical and very bossy, likes to be in control and seems to thrive on conflict.

Being an only child myself, I found it hard

I

I have at times felt totally inadequate, frustrated, annoyed, hurt, angry, etc. ... Things came to a head this past spring. As is probably common in many families, a crisis has been the catalyst for positive change.

I

I

I

Siant

Mclean

(NSJ urrites:

I am prompted to write in response to the summarized letter about a father who doesn't get along with a honreschooled chilcl. I mlrst say that I am only able to write now because I think we have come out the other side ofwhat has been a stress-lilled and unhealthy situation.

We planned to homeschool before our children were even born, and I've been an avid reader of GWS, John Holt, A. S. Neill, Jean Liedloff, etc. We birthed our dauAhter at home eight years ago and orr, *la" "o., Both born in the hospital 5 I /2 years ago. were nursed 'til they were 4 and we still have a family bed.

My husband and I have earned our living alnrost exclusively at home, producing toll, and we have dabbled in a few other enterprises including market gardening and landscaping. We have a small larnt which includes milk goals, chickens, clucks, turkeys, etc. We have :rimed for a family-centered, self-reliant, rrrral lilcstyle, ancl naturally it has ha(l its trps and clowns.

Aside from normal fears and worries

times felt totally inad-

I I

did all the wrong things

l

Times

my daughter.

As the years have progressed, my feelings as a mother have been a real roller-coaster ride. I have at

equate, frustrated, annoyed, hurt, angry, etc. I have lashed out and I know that made things much worse. I

i

I

Difficult

to cope with sibling rivalry which took various forms of dominance on the part of

according to what I had been reading and many times I really questioned my ability to mother my claughter adequately.

During this time I took the STEP parenting program. read various self-help books, and tried each and every day to keep a positive attitude. There weie complicating factors, factors that with the benefit of hindsight now appear so unnecessary. My husband and I are fairly ambitious, and so we filled our lives with many pressing projects. We were very busy.

Vy'e were also quite isolated; not only do we live in a sparse rural area, but we do not attend the church, do not support the schools, and make our living producing a food product that most people have never heard of. We are one of only three families in the county that homeschool, and the children have only one playmate within

walking distance.

My husband and I had been desDerate for change. We would look at each oiher and cry, 'Things have got to change." But we were caught up in our ambitions (political, social, and financial), and we were also caught up in our own mortalitlz, which has in retrospect been our saving grace. Our life was full of stress and an

ailing mother-daughter relationship was a

symptom.

Things came to a head this past spring. Winter had been hard and lonelv. and we were brrsying ourselves in avoid-

8-" ance ofour situation. Our daughter actually tried school (for six days) on our initiative. I felt desperate. I felt that if she could Just be gone for part of the day. the tensions would ease. But she (bless her heart) didn't like school and also sensed that it was a scapegoat for us, so she became quite adamant in her opposition (not a new position for her, I might add!).

I realize as I am writing how much I am leaving out. It's hard to encapsulate so many years, so many patterns, the convoluted qualities of life and relationships. At any rate, as I think is probably common in many families, a crisis has been the catalyst for positive change. We were on the verge of a family break-up, and over the course of the last three months things have taken a turnaround. We have given up all the extras: the extra income, projects, commitments that didn't really add anything to our lives, just drained us of enerS/. We have replaced these things with time: time to hang out, time to do nothing, time to play (this is harder for me than for my mate). And now what I find happening is that I seem better able to apply some of the parentlng skills I had learned, and everyone is generally more relaxed. Behaviors have changed for the better and I find I can handle my daughter's personality and not feel personally assaulted by it. I have been giving up

nature. and orrr indiviclrral responsibility to live goorl lives.

ownership of her bel'ravior. I arrt giving up the labels and refornring the patterns. As a result we are slowly beconring a happier

I think there are probably nrany parents who have personality difler-

familv.

I have been the printary honreschool

ences with their children. Flonteschooling ntakes it rnore intense and perhaps if

parent, and that is now changing as nly husband takes on more responsibility and spends more and more time with the children. It gives me much needed freedom. I am in my 40th year; my husband is a little older. We have both been going through our mid-life crises and it seems like we have made it quite hard on ourselves. However. now that I can see beyond it I know that all the tension was necessary for the lessons we must learn in our lives.

Through these years of conflict with my daughter I have gotten along very well with my son (probably a contributing factor to the difficulties with my daughter!), but I hardly ever gave myself strokes as a mother. Luckily, my daughter and her father have a close, supportive relationship. though he is often pushed by her behavior. Sorne time ago I read in Black EIk Speaks of how the children were encouraged to taunt the warriors before a battle so as to strengthen their character. I have thought of this often in my own time of transformation, and though I don't feel I have behaved as gallantly as a goocl warrior, I do feel more prepared and knowledgeable about relationships, human

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there isn't the Mll to repair that relationship, then a child may be better off under the care of the school system. In our case, I think rny daughter would feel a sense oftotal rejection ifwe sent her to school. And of course school brings with it a whole new set of problems. There is the will to change in our family and when I put things in perspective we do have a warm, loving. and supportive atnrosphere here - rnost of the time.

I do, however. feel frustrated in trying to find my place while living on the fringe. There is a very loose network of homeschoolers in the province. We know about each other. we get together on occasion [once a year!). I have two close relationships with other horneschooling nrothers and the support is there, though distances limit steady contact. I have been surprised at the lack of support I have felt among both "alternative" and fenrirrist friends. It seems, in an irrcliviclualist culture, personal growth and fulfillment are nrore important than those of children or family. and that these people don't seem to make the connection that society can only change ifwe take a personal stand and personal risks to live today the way we would like the world to change for

tomorrow.

Ilegarclless of the ups and downs of honreschooling. I think it is paramount to give future getrerations the ability to be free thinkers, resourceful citizens. and adapt.able family and community menrbers. With such a short time to be

with our children, why let institutions raise thenr?

I would also like to comment on"Corrects FIis Own Speech Mistakes" in GWS #88. My boy of 5 I /2 also pronounces Th as F or D and. though I know he can say Th. it seems a habit not to. I have not tried to correct him. thouplh his sister has. I assunre he will at some point want to correct this himself. I have not heard any adults talk this way!

Also, we have a honte business and have tried to find ways to include our chilclren in it. Making tofu involves a lot of hot liquicls and we have not been able to fit the children into the production.

However, Jrrst recently our daughter has found sornething she can do. She has wanted to help for years (and has helped move buckets, stamp invoices, assisted with clean-up). She is now able (and it is also her responsibility, paid I might add) to weigh. wash, and soak the soybeans in preparation for production. She loves the money and we are free of one more chore. She is also now able to take phone mes-sages and so can take orders. She is a new reader, and the other day while helping me apply labels she read every single one. Funny how these little things are so validating to a homeschooling

family.

Growing Without Schooling #89

9

.

Challenges & Concerns

Quitting Can Be OK Jill

Boone (CA) writes:

I have found that the longer I homeschool, the more important our home time is and the less inrportant are any outside activities. Perhaps it has something to do with living in Silicon Valley and tlre suburbs. Every schooled kid and many homeschooled kicls are scheclulecl beyond belief, and it can be a rather intense, goal-

oriented environment. Ollen, a farnily will decide to homeschool and, especially iltheir kids have been in school. will then srrbtitute all these other activities lbr school. Any one of the activities is line in itself, but the combinatlons are overwhelming. Why cl<l we l'eel such a need to ptrt so much into children's lives? Is it a basic fear that they will miss out? On what? Is it a feeling ttrat we are not goocl homeschool parents if we don't offer them

many opportunities?

I have reflected on this for some time and have slowly, over the eight years I have homeschooled, felt less and less compelled to join activities. tsut I still founcl myself wrappecl up with chauffer.rring ancl dealing with the children's comnitments. Then, this spring, Cristie (14) quit synchronized swinlming suddenly one weekend, and it threw me into an enrotional spin. I fully supportecl her reasons and the decision. and I have not been a fan of competitive sports for some time, but I found the sante questions arising: Was she really missing out? Was she missing the chance of a lifetime?

Cristie in her wisdom helped me to see that

she didn't feel that way, anci she resisted getting involved in anything organized this summer. She has been really happy with her decision and hasn't regretted it at all. I think the clecision has beconre stronger with the passage of time - much

the way nry decision to homeschool has beconre stronger and more sure. -fvo months later I realized that the freedon-r from car pools and from working on fund raisers and other commitments has allowed me the time and energ/ to pursue a project I had wanted to do for years: making wooden jigsaw puzzles. I also had time to do some Yoga, read some books which had been sitting on my shelf, and plant my garden. The free time gave nle a chance to figure out what I really wantecl to do. Ths is what we give our children by not scheduling up their lives, by letting lhem decide when something is important to thenr, and by allowing them the down time to find some peace. It may be harder when you live in an urban or suburban community because of so many opportunities for scheduled activities, but it is even nlore inrportant. We are offering our children a chance to be centered or grounded, a chance to know themselves as tlrey become aclults, a chance to grow up with self-

Growing Without Schooling #89

respect and to like thenrselves. This is so nrrrch more intportant than any opportu-

nity

niissecl!

F onr a later letter: You asked exactly why Cristie quit swimming. She really loved synchro ilrrorrghout the years. The teanr she swam

with is one of the top two synchro clubs in the U.S., which gave her the advantage of having conrpetent coaches, many swimnrers, and a somewhat serious attitude abotrt doing well. They almost always won or placed in every meet.

'I'he disaclvar-rtage was that the intensity increased each year. This year for the first tinte Cristie had a coach who valtred the medals more than the kicls, and unlbrtunately this was a year when they were bound to be second rather than first.

So the whole year the coach was angry at them and ran them down verbally. For a long time, Cristie was able to stay separate from the verbal abuse because she was not directly coached by this woman very much and since she learns quickly and tries hard, she was not personally attacked.

Then one weekend in April the coach really lost it and laid into the kids more severely than ever, accusing them ofall having attitucle problems and wanting to be second. The swimmers left in tears.

Cristie decided that she had had enough. tf she stayecl, she would be coached by this wonran for the next three years, and itjust wasn't worth it.

Her quitting shocked everyone in the club because she had been so calm and unstressed by competition, and she had never intended to quit. As I look back on it, I realize that the situation had been growing all year and even without this inciclent, Cristie woulcl have eventually conre to this decision. She cloesn't like being treated this way or seeing others treated badly.

I am happy that Cristie had the ability to make this decision and to leave something that had gotten so stressful and unhealthy. Of course, many parents look at me a little askance because I homeschool. and thisjust added to their strange opinions of me. No one ever quits in the middle ol'the year because it affects the whole team. I heard that a lot, but I felt it had become an abusive situation and I did not feel it was my place to encourage her or make her put up with it, as other parents did. So we really supported her decision, and in my bold, outspoken fashion I made sure that the board and head coach knew exactly why she quit. It took a couple of

more months of swimmers protesting

belbre they sent the coach on leave, but I felt that Cristie's firm stand empowered many ol'the other kids to speak up. She

was really supported by all her swimming friends and she still sees them occasionally when they are free.

a

She doesn't plan to go back to swimming, but she still enjoys the sport and is helping teach a class at our cabana club this week. Her strength from all that swimming has been channeled into boogey boarding and body surfing in true California fashion. I think a lot of good came of her years of doing this. It certainly helped her to develop an enjoyment ofbeing physically fit and being able to use her body well.

For more on the subject oJ quitting actiuities, see "OK to Stop Actiuities," bg Srrsan Shilcock, GWS #67.

Time for Oneself I-eonie Westenberg oJ Australia usrites: I was just reading Rain Mako's letter in GWS #83, "Mother Wants Time Alone"

and Shari Henry's "How One Mother Finds Time." Maybe some of my thoughts and experiences might be interesting.

We have five (soon six) children whom we are homeschooling. I can really understand a parent's need for time for herself. I go through frustrating periods of no free time for writing or sewing (let alone getting all the housework done), and then have very satis0/ing periods when all seems to be going well and I am able to balance my children's needs and my needs.

When I think about these two contrasting periods, it occurs to me that there are a couple of variables that are important. Some of them are: (l)The amount of time we sDend awav from home. Too much time and we don't get any time together or time to complete chores. It is only when we've accomplished these things that I discover free time.

However, il'we spend too much time at home, we also start to feel a need for the companionship of others. So finding the median here is very important to us.

(2) How organized we are in our work.

We have a home-based business in addition to the usual housework. If iobs are shared amongst all family mem-bers, I am able to find small blocks of time here

and there lbr my own work (writing, sewing, readinE). It has also become necessary for me to remove my perfectionist standards and my feeling of ultimate

responsibility.

(3) The state of my relationship

with

my children. Perhaps I need to give up some of my own time to read to the boys or

to talk to one child individually. If a child has a need that my husband and I are not

helping with, then things lnevitably start to fall down and we become unable to work by ourselves. I do find, however, that no matter what the child's age is (ours range from I to l2), if you give them your time freely, they can then understand the logic of them giving gou some time.

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(4) My attitude. If I'm feeling positive. then everything else seems OK too. If I'm out of whack in one area. that affects all parts of my life. And, you know. tinre does not need to be carved into neat little blocks. Sometimes we can combine our

time with family time with individual child time. For example, my little ones can draw with crayons at the same table where I'm making rough notes for an article. Or I can combine cutting out material for a pattern with talking to my oldest about his latest invention. And the kids love having a (albett short) go at the sewing machine or computer before or after my work.

I havejust come through a period of what seemed like hassles to find time for all the things I wanted/felt I had to do. As I see it now, these times are probably good for regrouping, taking pen to paper, and working out an obJective solution. Having completed this, I am now managing about 30 minutes to one hour each afternoon or evenlng when my children are involved independently, and I can also snatch odd times ( I O- I 5 minutes) here or there throughout the day or week. This is enough for me at my present season in ltfe; my children are a hlgh priority now so more time, of course, is given to them. This will no doubt change as they grow older and leave home.

As for how I find the larger block of time in the afternoon or evening, it occurs after the kids and I have spent time together and so feel at ease. I encourage

them in indlvidual and group pursuits.

The older ones are OK here: the little ones need some direction, e.g. "Shall we make a cubby for you to play and eat in?" Otherwise, I'm there but just leave them for a bit to their own devices. We have a safe yard and house with heaps of things available to do. Of course. there's a mess but weJust face clean-up together afterwards. It's worth it, to have time to ourselves.

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Recently I leamed that my children Mike and Fran's Sunday School teacher criticized their reading and writing skills and blamed them on homeschooling in a conversation *'ith someone in town. I was ashamed that she felt my boys didn't measure up to the other children in their Sunday School class. I was disturbed that someone I have frequent contact with harbors a poor opinion of me and mine and freely shares it around town.

After some late night soul-searching I realized that most of the people who learn of our education choice think it is a bad idea. Very few come away from speaking with me either eager to learn more or envious - two states of rnind I have long credited them all with. I also came to terms with the critlcism of the boys' skills. I know that each child must learn at his own pace, so I finally let go of the contradictory standard of the homeschooled child as always advanced in subJects taught in public school. It ftnally really doesn't matter.

Mike and Fran have become obsessed

with the game Dungeons and Dragons. I think their interest grew out of my clislike ofthe ganre. Because ofmy feelings, I am not pestering lhem to write a letter to the

author, draw a map of it, write a story about it. I am not contriving related math problems. My meddling has dampened other projects. So from afar. I see learning happeningjust as John Holt described it.

There is much reading, very much writing, and a lot of complicated math going on. I see research and the finding of mentors.

They have arranged to use a room at the library for an all-day game in the fall and have designed a poster to advertise the event. We'll see how long this interest

lasts, but I am convinced its intensity is in direct proportion to my distaste. Using this equation, I'll bet their next obsession will be collecting spiders.

Feeling Doubtful June Mclntosh oJ lllinois urites: The latest issue of GWS hasjust arrived, and I've read it through in one sitting. I've never so much appreciated rehearing the philosophy of giving children trust and self-direction. 'l'his reassurance is very timely, as I'm going through a phase ofbeing very tired (pregnancy, plus one cold after another) and feeling that I'm not doing enough for my kids. Doubts and feelings of inadequacy are always ready to return during times of weakness, and I'm only too ready to blame myself and/or homeschooling when things aren't going smoothly.

That's why lt's so nice to be reminded that you ccn trust your child, you can let go, you don't always have to take charge, direct. orchestrate. |

Because my daughters are young (5, 2 | /21, the things they do and play are

/2.2

often noisy, messy, and, frankly, headache-making. Sometimes I think, either these kids should be in school. or else I should be doing a lot more to direct their actlvities in some more apparently meaningful direction. To me, chaos feels threatening - an ominous sign that our fanrily life is sliding down some ghastly slope. But, in fact, soon all is once more peace and harmony, and I haven't had to do a thing about it. And then I'm congratulating us again on having chosen homeschooling!

Thls reminds me of some research about depression a friend of mine has done, He found that one signiflcant aspect of depression was mis-remembering your previous moods. In other words, a depressed person ts likely to believe that on a given occasion in the past they were less happy than in fact they were. The depression clouds not only the present, but also the past. So, with life at home with children, when thtngs are going well, it's great, but when things get rough, it seems as if your whole life has been a mess, and you question yourself, your worth, your goals, etc. So it's important, I think, to let the bad times roll and keep confldence in the overall outcome. Readlng GWS this time

Growing Without Schooling #89

ll has helped me a lot in this respect.

On another, slightly different, topic - I restrict my kids' TV viewing only in terms of content, not quantity - usually, that is, and it hasn't always been thus. I've tried rationing - e.g. only two shows per day. 'lhis seemed to lead to endless discussions and negotiations, putting the topic ofTV at the forefront of our day. lf left to her own devices, Hannah (5) seems to binge and then ignore the TV, in cycles. During the off-Tv times, I feel proud of her and of us.

Then in the binge periods, I feel very anxious. However, after seeing this cycle repeat itself many times, I'm beginning Uust beginning) not to worry when she overdoes the viewing for a few days. This approach does seem to lower TV's impor-

tance overall.

Once, several months ago, I got very conscience-stricken during a TV binge and inip6ss6 a total ban for a week. At the end of the week, Hannah got a small prize (restitution?). A week or so ago, she de<:icled. all on her own. that she wanted to earn a prize for herself in the same way. I agreed, and we settled on a prize, but I didn't try to enforce the ban myself. The week began on a Saturday. Hannah woke up and cried because no cartoons, but she soon cheered up. On Tuesday, she asked if videos counted. They did, and she overcame her disappointment and carried on.

Wednesday, we were all sick (especially me) and I decided we could make a day's exception. On Thursday, Hannah resumed the ban; at the end ofFriday she got her prize, and on Sattrrday she was back in

Itont of the TV (in moderation). At any time during the week, she was free to call the whole thing off, and at times she was struggling. But she did it all by herself. I was impressed.

Despite the fact that my laissez-faire policy toward TV seems to be working OK, however, I continue to be uneasy about TV's constant instrusive presence (whether on or of0, and I'd be interested to hear other views. Sometimes it has seemed to me that Hannah wants more TV the nrore hectic her life is. In other words, watching'fV is not a response to boredom, but to stress ancl having too much to do. I

haven't really corroboraled this over a long period of time - has anyone else noticed such a connection?

Are We Doing the Right Thing?

Crystcl Watkins

oJ Georgia

alternative school, we found it increasingly clear, toward the end of the '91 -'92 school year, that homeschooling was best for us. However, as far as I know, we are

the only African-American homeschoolers in our area. My sister-in-law (I50 miles away) homeschools, but she feels just as isolated as we do. There is not much support for us from our families - mostly

quiet skepticism.

So, even though we are very happy

with our decision (even tranquil at times),

it helps to know that there are others like Lls

out there.

We Need

All

Perspectives

DaIe Vostttsanos (GA) utrites: It's wonderful that tAe discussion of Latino homeschoolers has now expanded to include the needs of African-American fanrilies as well (GWS #88), and the infornration about the Umoja newsletter is exciting. While our family is not part of any racial minority, we will be anxious to have access to such a newsletter; in fact, one of the most difficult tasks I have found in the last few years is finding sources on people and cultural experiences ofother races, and trying, often in vain, to find historical accounts from other than the

mainstream perspective.

While parents who are not white and not of European background can easily see the neecl. those ofthe rest ofus who are

homeschooling to escape the mind-numbing realities of the school system also encourage and seek out other voices. As Donna Nichols-White says in CWS #88, blacrk history should not be a one-montha-year alTair. American history should include us all, and while children of color need to learn these things for self-esteem and an understanding of their family's heritage and journey, white children need to learn these same things for interpersonal understanding and to gain a sense of the nrultiplicity of the American culture.

Kristin Cleage Williams's comments struck a chord with me as well. as we constantly have to guard against racism, sexisnr, and lnany other prejudiced views insidiously present in our culture. What concerns me is that while these women

who wrote to GWS have "gotten on with it" and contacted other black homeschoolers, we also need to take the next step and promote contact and exchange of ideas between white homeschoolers and homeschoolers of color. While it often seems like us versus them, there are a good many people who, if given the chance, will make their own lives a tool to break down the barriers that keep some of us down and foment hatred and bigotry. Resources such as the proposed newsletter can be a great help to us all.

I haven't perceived the subtle racism in the homeschool movement that Kristin describes. The homeschool groups in this area are predominantly (in fact, almost exclusively) fundamentalist Christian. I have been in other places where a new age philosophy was in force. Our movement is one of infinite diversity, and what is exhibited at conferences or discussed in workshops is entirely dependent on who participates. This is why the Umoja newsletter is so importan| as far as I know, until now, minority homeschoolers have not extended their reach beyond their own families. Everyone is welcome to represent their own views at most conferences and gatherings. Please, every family who has found information about people of color to teach their own children, share it with the rest of us! Print up a reading list, a list of suggested topics for children to look up, a list of names of Americans of color for our children to learn about. Ifany ofyou have contacts at black universities, approach them about the possibility of developing

educational materials for homeschoolers.

What a great project for an education department to undertake! And in the meantime, when a homeschooling meeting is held near you, offer to chair a workshop or present a paper on your views. I think you'll be surprised at how many people will jump at the chance to attend.

ISS:I Our fall catalog includes some new books that may be helpful to Dale and others looking for the same sorts of

materials. In particular, look for Art Ftom Mang Hands (art projects from different cultures), A People's History o"f tle UnILed States (history from seldomheard per-spectives), World Beot (music from around the world).

The Mouse and the Music urites:

I looked upon the most recent issue of GWS as a gift. It couldn't have come at a

better (or worse) time. School is starting here. I'm feeling a little panicky, even unsure of myself as the school buses roll by. Are we doing the right thing?

We are an African-American homeschooling family. Donna Nichols-White's letter in GWS #88 really hit home. We are lxrmescl.rooling lbr all the reasons that she listed, plus some. Having tried traditional school, and having been instrumental in the establishment and running of an

Growing Without Schooling #89

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t2

Watching Children Learn Learning Through Play Frorn Y,aren Raskin-yorurq

CaliJornia:

of

Concen-ring the letters in GWS #87 about learning through play: I've often thought my sion Jeremy (8) experienced his greatest leaps in learning before the age of 3 | /2, and nrost ofthat came about through play. For example, I remember rrs readin! through a beginnirrg book on acldition and subtraction when he was about 2 | /2. He loved the book, which was simple and full of interesting circus characters to add or subtract. At the back. where there were problems to solve, is where we had the most fun. Each time, we emptied out a little box of raisins and called the pile the Raisin Home. We took whatever raisins we needed to create each problem on the table, and after Jeremy had solved it he qot to eat the raisins. Perhaps because of this game.

Jeremy always looked forward to rnith.

Another game we started when he was about 3 1/2 and still occasionally play is called Mixed-Up School. I used to leave a lot of learning toys lying around the floor, and one day I spontaneously arranged some pattern words out of wooden letters on a carpet board, askingJeremy ifhe could read them (mat-cat-sat, ill-Bill-pill).

Jeremy was so enchanted with this minilesson that the next day he insisted on making one for me. That made him the teacher in our Mixed-Up School, which was mixed-up for other reasons as well.

For example, whenever Jeremy tried to teach me I always had trouble learning, and our sessions were as much giggling as anything else. They were also a fine opportunity for Jeremy to think out what he knew clearly enough to explain it to me.

This really enhanced his leaminq. When he occasionally wasn'l sure of an explanation or a spelling, he would say, "psssil" and I would, in character, tell him the answer as my "L'il Daddy" had supposedly explained it to me. We have had enormous fun with this game, and our "lessons" have covered such subjects as spelling, n-rath, and geography. Also, it was always Jeremy, as the teacher, who initiated the game, to his great delight.

Margie ksch writes in GWS #g7 about her children thanking her when she removes the video games so they can't play anymore. Jeremy and I have had similar experiences. For example, if I ever want him to do some writing or other schoolwork or even some work around the house, even though there are times when he iust loves these things. sometimes he jusf complains no end and insists he'll have nothing to do with them. Usually, though, if I persist, not only does he finally settie down and accomplish the tasks bearrtifully, but most often he will also say, 'Thank you for making me write, and

please don't let rne go so long without

wliting again. I loved itl"

When I can clearly see that sonrethitrg doesn't fit him, I generally put it away until a later time (or even a later year writing, for example, sat on the back bumer for a long time). But most of his complaints seeln to be just noise. and if we press past them he ends up enjoying the experience and feeling proud of his accontplishments. This year I have relied less on the idea of always following my child's lead and been more willing to provide some leadership myself. Since what he says he wants is not always what really pleases hinr, this has worked out rvell.

I used to leave Jeremy almost conrpletely free. but one thing that led me to

make this choice was that he so often experienced headaches and was "plastered" (the almost catatonic state he pot into when he spenl long hours ptaying video or computer garnes or doing wl'ratever else he wanted all clay). I clo not fill up his whole day, but what often erratic structure I provide seems to help him with the free part of his day. He has more skills and ideas about how to experinrent with his time. He seems to be far more alive. energetic, and cheery when he varies his activities or gets a boost from me when he's really stuck and doesn't know it, so I'm not too bothered anymore by acting

"parental. "

Rethinking Cheating Salli Camez {NU tun/es: I have a few thoughts about cheating. as brought up in Maggi Elliott s "Asking for Help is OK," GWS #88. What is cheating? Often what we call cheating is just a natural stage in the learning process. My older son, Enrique, is a naturally selfdirected learner. He taught himself to read sometime when he was 3, alrnost 4. When I read to him, from the time he was 2 | /2 onwards, he would inlerrupt to ask about words. I found it annoying and doubted my

father. who said Enrique was teaclring hirnself to read. I was already delermined to homeschool and very much opposed to pushing. Naturally, I got a child who pushed himself harder than any adult would have dared to push.

I don't even know when he learned to read, because I was so skeptical. Finallr,. a few days before he turr-recl 4,

I

lust decided

that it was impossible he'd really memo-

rized those sixty-page books he was carrying around the house and reading out loud, especially as I had read some of lhem to him only once. So I got hinl a book he'd never seen and he read it to me. I sat on the couch with him and I said, "you can readl" I believe it was news to him, too. He seemed nearly as surprised as I was. because.

unlike adtrlts, he had haci no particular plan bevond the pleastrre of play. "Yes." he said. giggling with pleasure, "l con read."

What he had done with those sixt)'-page books was a combination of readinA and memorization. He couldn't really read or-l the level of those books yet, but his excellent nremory. combined lvith the words he did know. carried him throuSh lhe whole book. A jtrdgmerrtal person might have called his half-readinA. halt memorization cheating, btrt it had led clirectly to the proper reading of a more basic book that he'd never seen. Enriotre hirrrself passerl no juclgnlenls one way or the other - it rvas all just lirn.

Last year. several nronths after he'<l learned to read, he startecl to do a worcl searclr puzzle that had come with a set o[ rocks. I was startled because the words were quite difficult (igneous, metanrorphic. etc.). but finally I noticed that usually he glanced at the solrrtions in the back. "Oh, you're cheating!" I said care-

lessly. Immediately. I coulcl have kicked nryself: he didn't exactly know what I meant by cheating. but he could tell that it in sonle way belittled his ganre. I qtrickly told hinr I'd been unfair, and thought about cheating a bit. First of all, if he never Iearns to do word search puzzles without looking at the answers, his life will not suffer. Second, his achievement was quite real. Without any prompting or strggestions (l was nursing his baby brother to sleep when he started), he had read the instructions for the puzzle, figurecl out what he was srrpposed to do. and then, reading the phrase "solufions on the back," had turned to the back and sensibly used the solutions. He might have argtred that the puzzle told him to. He hact no knowledge of puzzles or rtrles and absolutely no concept of cheating (until I. rnistakenl,v, supplied him with one).

Third, if he continues to do word searches. using the solutions will eventuallv make the puzzles so easy that he will either try lo do them without the solutions or cease doing the puzzles entirely. Either outconte is quite acceptable.

I continue to notice how well Enriqrre learns by "cheating." He uses help. to call it by its kinder, truer name, until he is strong enough to do without it. How wise! I witnessed this again this summer in quite a different area. We spent six weeks with my parents, and my mother, at my request. signed Enrique up for swimming lessons at her pool. Initially, he was registered in a class for 5 and 6 year olds that met at the same time as a class for 3 and 4 year olds. Enrique soon perceived that the younger class was more fun - they spent the whole time playing games. Fortunately, the lifeguards were very laid back. and they let him migrate back and forth between classes, finally settling in the 3 and 4 year old class. I was a btt dlsap-

Growing Without Schooling #89

l3 pointecl because I'd really hopecl he'cl learn to swinr. The weekend ltelore the cl:rsses ended, wl spr:nt a long time at the pool. I rnostly plal,cd willr my 3 year old while

Enrique. wc:rring water wings (i.e. cheating), splersited arorrnd. Aller a bit, Enriqrre took oll'his watcr wings an(l l)egan to swinr. "l clon't need these any nrore," he sai<1. Ancl lre never use<l tlrcrn again. Now I'm not sure who taught him to swint. 'l'he lil'egtrarcls? The watcr wiltgs? I tllink it was linrique.

Social 4 Year Old t I

Healher Guaefiert o.l' tllunllcutr' rcriles: I have a very social

4

I /,2 ',.etr old

will contintre to learn at honre when

who

he

becomes school age. Soclalizatiorr rs one olnry main concerns al>out school. Ilecause he is so social, people assunle nly son worrld love school and thirt I worrlcl have a

harcl time ljlling his social neecls at lrolrre.

Ilut how woulcl he ever be able to sit ouicilv at a desk? He craves attention, to be liart ot' every conversation. How worrl<l l.tc sltart: orte Iear:her with 25 other <:hiklrerr'? I also worry about how we wor-rld be altle to counteract all the negative socializatiotl he would soak up in the course ol'a normal school clay.

For the last two years we have lived in a housing development and have had to cleal with a good amount of negative socialization, especially drlring the sunlnter months. Brent's nrost positive socialization with his peers takes l)la('c (luring plannecl play days with mutual friends, mine and his, aclults and children.

I also have a neecl for socialization. I a{ree with Cllristopher Roch's idea ol'socializatior-r (GWS #88), "having a good relationship with sonleone." I believe Brent's most benell<:ial socialization is with orrr neighbors next door. John and Cathy are acquaintances of mine, but friends of Ilrent's, as are Lheir college-age chilclren. 'l'hey welconre tsrent into their honle ancl love to listen to his stories. I have watchecl many wonderlirl monrents between them. I have seen John tend to his trees, explaining to tlrent everything he does ancl why (rrot lectrrrir-rg). I h:rve arlso watclte<l :ts nrenrlters ol'tlte family listen to l}-ent talk

non-stop about his sea-creatures (toy whales, etc.). They talk 10 him, nol <lown to him. 1'hey treat him with respect, as they would any aclult. I believe the tin"re he spencls having a cookie and conversation with whoever may be home is real socialization. I feel blessed that he has such wonderlul friends who happen to be adults.

Since Brent is so outgoing, I believe he will always lincl a l'ew good liiends, besicles the mernbers of his own family. Socialization is one place I believe qr-rality is nlore inrportant than quantity.

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urites:

Growing Without Schooling #89

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Running

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Teen Workshop Esther Ltllemoe (GA) :rntes: My daughter Sarah and I put together a Teen Workshop lbr homescltoolers and it canle together quite nicely. We met at Oxlbrcl College and had seven teens and six parents from around the area. The teens seemed to have a great time getting to know one another. fSome had met before.) Parents stayed in another roorn for the nrost part. During the morning, the teens played some icebreaker games that helped them get to know one another and talk about themselves. After lunr:h, we all came together lbr a while as Sarah reported on her trip to the Home School Associates of New England conl'erence and told about her experiences visiting various colleges.

She ancl one other girl had already looked into the college admissions process, br-rt the others hadn't thought aboul i( much yet, so they were interested to hear about it. Afterwards we toured the Oxlbrd College campus with an admissions counselor. Oxford was represented at ollr Georgians for Freedom in Education conference by the dean of their admissions department (l had asked colleges to send representatives). So far they have not had a homeschooler attend. but one did apply this past year.

Not only was he accepted, but he was

awarded a scholarship.

We would like to conduct similar worl<shops in several other locations around the state, maybe on other college campuses. The teens liked getting together socially, so we are thinking of other rvays lbr thenr to do that. We're also looking at opportunities for them to do volunteer work together (several of them have their own volunteerjobs already).

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t4

M<ire on Video Games Diane Bengson oJ Ohio urites: The discussion about video games in GWS #87 was interesting to me. We have

had Nintendo in our house for almost four years, after a struggle about whel,her to buy one or not. Most of the time we've set limits for Shaun (9) by saying he had two hours a day to budget between Nintendo and TV viewing, with no Nintendo after supper. Usually he sets the kitchen timer himself when he plays. He goes through periods when he doesn't play at all for weeks. When he has a new game, or rents one, he plays a lot, and there are times when we agree he can play longer than two hours. He has saved half the money for a super Nintendo system, and we agreed to matching funds, so once he gets that I'm sure he'll be playing a lot again.

I asked him if he liked having us lirnit his time or if he would rather play as much as he wanted. He said, "l think it s good you tell me to turn it off after a certain

time. Zach [3, neighborhood boyl will play for a while and then say, '[,et's go

skateboard."'

I believe in helping my chilclren stay in tune with their natural inner balance, by suggesting when they're fighting with a friend to take a break alone, or to do some quiet wind-down activity before bed.

That's part of why we homeschool - so they can retain and continually become more attuned to their need for busyness and breaks, togetherness and being alone,

indoors and or.rtcloors. physical activities and mental activitics. I do think Nintendo and TV can be a part o[ thcse rh_vthms. but I also know tlrey can conluse and override inner implllses.

A flag goes up in me when Shaun seems to be bored and is turning to Nintendo or TV because it is an easy escape from the boredom. We talk about waiting out the boredom. and usually he does and finds something more satisfying to do. If he plays Nintendo at those times. he often is bored again as soon as it goes o[f.

When I asked Shaun why he liked Nintendo, he said it was challenging and an adventure. He said he didn't like games that were too easy to beat, and preferred role-playing games to other types. These games require strategt, and often take a couple o[months to beat. For Shaun. these games have spun off to other interests. He and his friends have made up quests around the house and outdoors, often hiding objects for each other to cliscover to complete the quest. They have spent rveeks at a time building settings from l.egos and using Lego people as fantasy characters.

The games sprouted an interest in fantasy

literature, and Shaun has reacl The Chronicles of Narnia, the Lloyd Alexander series.'I'olkien. and Ursula l,e Guin. He reads Ninlendo Pouer. draws the characters illustrated in the magazines. and discusses tips and discoveries with his friends.

It's hard for me to accept the hardcore video game phases in Shaun, when he seems to eat. breathe, and sleep Nintendo.

At the same time. I recognize that I have

'Junk phases." too. when I llnd that all I've rea<l lor two weeks are glossv wonren's

rnagazines. catalogs, and r'ookbooks. I rrserl to feel a sick guilt set in during these phases. btrt r-row I'm conring lo accept them as part o[ rny pattern, and Shaun's too. I can't force hirn, or myself, out of these periocls. They break up on their own, ancl are often followecl by stirntrlating, c:reative periocls. They're certainly nothing to be

guilty about.

Ber:erlg Serry, 5O5 8th St NE, Charlottesuille VA 229O2, trlrites:

I think that video games (and television) may be far more damaging to our children than the participants in the CWS debate suggest. My conclusions are based on tlre recent book Endangered Mirtds: Whg Our Clildren Don't Tltink, by Jane M. I{ealey (Simon & Schtrster, l99O). Healy's book describes the latest research in neuropsychology as it applies to children's learnirrg. The book's primary enrphasis is on the darnage done to children's neural developrnent by television.

She also discusses many other netrrologically damaging aspects of contemporary American culture - evervthing from sub-

stitute care givers toJunk food.

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l5

FOCUS:

. --

Grown-flp Homeschoolers

What happens to homeschoolers when they leave their parents' homes? Are they prepared for work or college? We interviewed four grown-up homeschoolers to find out what they've gone on to do and how they feel about homeschool ing.

At St. John's College lnteruieu rl.ritlr EmilA Murphg, Whg did you decide to go to college?

Maybe it's just because of society today, but college always seemed the next logical step after high school. I had always looked forward to college because I thought there would be people there who would have common bonds with me. who would like literature - people I could talk to.

Also, I'm planning on going into historical museum studies, and to get a goocljob in museum studies you need at least a master's degree, so I knew that I would need to go to college.

a

because I liked the idea of their great books program and the way they use seminars. I thought it would give me a basis in the rational thinking that you need to do research, which will be important to me in museum work.

What LDere lJoLr reaclions to college tohen gou.frst got there?

Was it a dilfictLlt oQjustment?

St. John's has only 400 undergraduates, so it really feels more like a community than a college, and it's basically for all the people who didn't fit in in high school - because they liked to read, because they liked classical ntusic. So I immediately found so many really good friends. My roommate turned out to be a wonderful person (that was something I had worried about), and I have a lot of friends on the fencing team.

I went to a community college for a semester before going to St. John's, because my parents wanted to make sure that I was ready for college. I found myselfbored there, because there was no discussion - youjust took notes and then spat out things for the tests. But at St. John's, you have seminars, and that's basically the same thing I had done during my homeschooling reading and then discussing. Doing that with l6 or 18 people who are also really interested is a wonderful feeling.

Itomeschooler?

What about the Jact that college is a communitg who are uery close in age? That's different -from the homeschooling experience.

I originally wanted to do archaeologr, and then I worked for the Mercer Museum in Doylstown, Pennsylvania for three years.

I was working in the curatorial department, and I did a lot of real, hands-on curatorial stulf - helping to preserve artifacts, helping to arrange exhibits. I decided that this was what I wanted

I did notice that difference. Occasionally it was kind of a shock - I do like being with little kids, too. But I think there's enough of a range at college. The seniors are older and have more experience, and if you make friends with them you do get a

Were gou

tterested in museum slrrdies

Luhen gou u:ere

a

to do.

Wrat did. gou think about kinds ql-colleges to opplA to?

LDhen lJou

were considering uhat

I applied tojust two places: Penn State, because they have a good archaeology program, and St. John's. Penn State said they couldn't consider me because I didn't have a diploma; I suspect it was because I didn't fit into their computer system. But just at the point that they said no, St. John's saicl yes, ancl St. John's was really the place I wanted to go, so I decicled not to pursue penn State any further. If I had wanted to, I could have gotten a diploma from the State Department of Education or somewhere else.

But St. .John's didn't care about the diploma at all. They were excited that I was a homeschooler. They kept contacting me, and I felt that they really wanted me there. You clo have to provide two letters of recommendation from teachers, so I got letters from teachers in classes I'd taken. My practice had been to get a letter of reference whenever I took a class or did a volunteer project.

I didn't have a traditional transcript or a regular grading system, but St. John's doesn't give you grades anyway. My mother did what St. John's does once you're a student there: she provicled a detailed list of what I'd done. Fortunately, I also scored pretty high on the SAT, so that probably helped. For the St. John's admissions application, you have to write three major essays: one on why you want to go to St. John's, one on your exl)erience with books, and one on an experience that changecl your lil'e. When I was talking about my exl)erience with books, I found rnyself talking about homeschooling, becarrse that's the way my parents taught me: I read and then discussed what I'd read.

I chose St. John's because I wanted a small collepe and

Growing Without Schooling #89

oJ

people

clifferent perspective.

One thing to remember about going to college is that all the freshmen are in the same boat that you're in. You're all trying to adjust to new surroundings, find the class you're going to - it's not that homeschooling doesn't matter, but college is a new experience for euerybody. It's not like a homeschooler going to high school, where the people may have been going to the same school together since first grade and they all have their little groups. Everybody expects to form new friendships at college.

Did you get int.o conuersalions where people uould ask gou about homeschooling?

Oh, yes; it was basically the usual questions, like "ls that legal?" and'How did you go about it?" But I think there had been a couple of other homeschoolers at St. John's, so some of the older students who had known them were

familiar with homeschooling.

Occasionally people talked about their high school experiences and I

might have felt some-

l6 what out of it, but I found that those conversations didn't come up very often. Ifpeople complained about high school teachers, I would just listen and laugh at the jokes. It wasn't that big a deal.

You knout that crittcs o.f homeschooling are ahuays saging that tamescltooling uon't prepare kids Jor tlrc real uorld. To tlrc extent that the real uorld meons the uorld beyortd Aour parents' home, ushether that's college or not, do gou lhirtk homeschooling

preparedgouJor it?

Well, collegle is not the real world! It's kind of an intermediate step. You're away from your parents, but you're still in a sheltered society. I found that my homeschooling prepared me perfectly for that. If you learn how to deal with people, no matter what their ages, you're ready. The skills you learn in dealing with your family and in dealing with the inrmediate community in which you circulate - because nobody homeschools in a vacuum - are the same exact skills that you use to deal with people in a college community. You leam to get along, how to step carefully because somebody might have a sore point about something, how to deal with dilfererrt personalities, who you can tease and who you can't.

You mentiotTed that at college gou are au.tog Jrom gour

parents. Naturallg that's a transiLion that all the Jreshmen are going through, but someone might ask about the particular uags that that transition qlfects a homeschooler.

Homeschoolers haue probablg

spent more time u:ith tlreir parents than mong kids haue, so magbe the tronsition is more traumatic.

Well, I felt that at this point I

Actually, that happens. Our freshrnen class harcl I l2 people at the beginning. and by the time the second semester came around we were down to about 90 people. The progranr is so different, and so structured, that a lot of people can't deal with it.

/ tlrink parenls tolto are lrcmescltoolirtg Ltourger children tuould loue to hear antg thoughts you mtght lraue aboul uhat theu sltould remenrber to do. or not do.

I think that admissions people at selective colleges really do use the SAT in making decisions, even though some people say it's just a glrideline. So if you want to go to that kind of college and aren't used to takiltg standardized tests. yotr should make sure you can do that. I used the book of l0 SAT's to practice on, and I found that very helpful. My parents also got me the book Crrrcking lhe Sgslem, which was great. lt's not just about how to take the SAT, but about how to think the way the test-makers

think.

Also. the ability to wlite good essays is in)portant, ancl the ability to just sit down and write an essay on any topic. It's important for college admissions, and I also found that big community colleges ask you to sit down and write an essay on a

I think instead of looking at adults as people who are always trying to control you in some way, homeschoolers see adults as resources, people you can find out something f rom.

was ready to get away from my parents, to find my own way and make my ov"n decisions.

I also found that homeschooling helped me tremendously in my schoolwork, because I have the selfdiscipline to get things done early. I have a couple of friends at college who pull all-nighters to get essays done that are due at g:OO the next morning. I find out what my assignments are for the next three days or the next week, and I make goals for myself and decide what I need to do first. That's just the way I work. In my homeschooling, we would make a curriculum at the beginning of the year and then every week we would sit down and look at what I had done and what I needed to do. I would sit down by myself and make daily goals, and figure out things like whether or not I was doing volunteer work that day and would have to get things done around that. So that was very helpful at college, when I was involved in fencing, chorus, and I had a work-study job, and had to work around that schedule.

The St. John's program is unusual because everybody studies the same thing, in the same order, so you are given your schedule of classes.

Yes, it stnkes me as interesting that Aou as a homeschooler usould choose a program that doesn't leaue gou much indiuidual choice.

Well, I like having the common ground with the other students. AIso, I like the way they assign classes, because it leaves you free to concentrate on your work - you don't have to worry about whether you should have taken something else or about what you need for your major - and it gives you an equal background in everything.

It sounds as though gou respect the choices that the program and tha,t's uthat makes it utorkJor gou. I

makes Jor the students,

intagirrc tltat if a sluclent were at St. John's Ltul. hadn't reallq choserl to be tlere. it usould be harder to accepl the program.

certain topic within a set amount of time. 'l'hat was something nry pareltts had worked with me on. When I came out of school at the end of third grade, I would not write. I had such bad handwriting that the teachers I had in third erade wouldn't look at what I had written. My mother tells me that when I came out of school I wouldn't even sign nty name. So it was really important to my parents to work with me

on writing.

Do gott tltbrk a homescfaobr has to begin the kind

oJ

preparation gou're describing earlg on. or ls it somethinq Aou could do in an irlense burst uhen gou're older?

I think you could clo it in an intense burst. Yorr could take a year to do it. I startecl preparing for the SAT about eight months before I took it. I had always written essays, but about a year before I was goiltg to apply to college I really started focusing on

wflting

essays.

I krrou.t that homeschoolers sometimes do stnLggle usith being different - maybe they tuish there tuere more people like tlrenrselues - and I lhlnk some porents LDonder ulrcther their children LDill grou up lo resent themJor hauing made them be so difJerent.

I did have trouble with that at one point. I Mshed I had friends I could just call up and talk to. But I've never regretted the homeschooling part of it. I think my not having had any really good friends was more a function of the way we moved around so much than of homeschooling. I always had friends I could play with when I was young, but I never had the kind of friendship that comes with growing up with someone. Still, as I said, I think that had more to do with the fact that we moved so often.

But again, college is a new experience for everyone, and whether you had a normal chitdhood or not, you still have to deal with the fact that you've got an essay due the next day. You have to sort of leave your childhood behind - it's always with you, but you have to go beyond it. I found that t was one of the people who always knew everybody at college, slmply because I

Growing Without Schooling #89

t7 made the effort to say hello to people, and I think a lot of homeschoolers are like that. My roommate hacl gone to high school and was much more ol an introvert than I was.

/t's alruays hard to-ligure ouL what causes tuhat, tsn't it? it the moDing, l-,as it the homescltoottng?

YotL're wondertng, was

It's hard to separale things out ruhen homeschooling is onlg one

parl ef a person's life.

Yes, and I really don't regret homeschooling. It gave me so many experiences. The basic flexibility of it allowed me to work at the museum, to work at the library, to testiry before the House Subcommitte on Education, which was one of the most thrilling experiences. I also won an essay contest and got to rvork in Washington for a week as a member of my Congressman's staff.

So I've never regretted that flexibility of homeschooling or the

different attitude toward life.

Can gou describe that di[lbrent,altitude?

The biggest thing, I think, is that instead of looking at adults as overbearing teachers, people who are always trying to control you in some way, homeschoolers see adults as resources, people you can fincl out something liom. They know something that you want to know, and you can ask them and iind out. Whenever we had repair people at our house, my brother and sister and I would sit around ancl ask them all kinds ol'questions. and most of the time they were nrore than willing to answer.

I also had a chance to lind out what I love to do and want to do, and I find that a lot of kids don't know what they want to do.

Actually, the St. John's program is kind of tailored for people who don't know what they want to do with their lives, because the basic liberal arts background can be a jumping off place for just about anything. So I do feel different sometimes because I knowwhat I want to do (although it could change, ofcourse).

Since I want to go into historical nlllseum studies, I feel that I have a reason to try to get the most out of the St. John's program, to learn all the history I can, and the languages, too. And during the school year I volunteer at the Hall of Records, which is actually on the St. John's Campus. I help recatalog collections and all that kind of stuff. They're hoping to get a work-stucly arrangernent going l)etween the lJall of Recorcls ancl the college, which woulcl be wonderlll for me.

Working on a Farm lnleruiew tuith Vonessa Keiltt: When did gou leoue home?

I honrescho<llecl all nry lil'e, ar-rcl I lell honre when I was 18.

I'm 22 now. Since I left home I've traveled, lived in Ontario, worked at sonre menial jobs like working in a dry cleaners and being a waitress, and now I'm working at a vegetable farm. I like this job better than the other jobs I've had, but everything is a good experience, ln the luture I'd like to set up my own vegetable or flower farnr, so this job is the most connected to what I hope to do.

Hotu did llou get the opportunitg to uork on this Jarm?

but he did hire me and homeschooling did come up, so homeschooling definitely wasn't any kind of obstacle.

The people I'm working with now are all really excited about homeschooling. It comes up often. I sti[ get GWS and I like to show it to people around here. But when you're older, you do get fewer questions about homeschooling. When you're younger, almost the first question people ask you is, "What grade are you in?" I remember getting annoyed at those questions and at having to say, "l don't go to school," but now it feels more clecided to hire me,

exciting to talk about it and I'm really glad that I did it.

It's interesting that tn lrcmeschooling, there's no obuious point at tuhich gou haDe to leaue ltome, so eueryone leaues Luhen it rnakes sense to them. What do gou think made gou know that it uas time Jor gou to leaue?

I was just ready emotionally, and I was tired of living with my parents. I get along really well with my parents and I like visiting them, but I knew that I was reacly to live on my own.

I'm sure lJou'ue heard the criticism that homeschooling daestT't prepare gouJor the real Ll)orld. What ts the real u)orld Jor lJou now, as an adult? Do Aoufeel that gott uere preparedJor what gour real uorld hos turned ottl to be?

I know quite a few homeschoolers - including my boyfriend and I have noticed that the homeschoolers are more mature, and better prepared for the real world, than the people who went to school. They've had morejob experiences at younger ages, they've been out in the world more. They know themselves better, and they have their own opinions. Sometimes it's hard to explain why they seem different, but I think some of it has to do with the way homeschoolers ask more questions.

I didn't find the world outside my parents' home to be a shock at all. Homeschooling, for me, neant going along with my parents while they did seasonal outdoor work, so that's more the real world to me than a desk iob, which is what I think school prepares you for.

Hotu do gou think homesclnoling injuenced the utag gou

llink about uork?

I don't know if this is just me, or if it does have to do with what kids pick up in school, but to me, work is not negatlve. I enjoy it. Of course sometimes I get tired, but for the most part I enjoy my work and I don't say, "Oh, I don't want to do that." I lived with my aunt for a while, and if you asked one of her kids to do something, they wouldn't do it if you called it a chore.

One thing I want to make clear is that I'm doing farm work because that is what I like to do. I in no way feel like my education is holding me back from a more academic, intellectual type of higher-paying job. If I had ambitions in any directions I have conlidence I could pursue anything. When I was l5 and l6 I worked for a month each year as a volunteer in an office, answering phones and {iling, in Philadelphia (where my father lives).

That was a great experience, both living in the city and doing the office work. I liked it in a way, but nowhere near the way I love the job I have now. I think that if homeschooled adults feel limited in their choices by their education, their parents have done something wrong. Homeschooling is meant to open doors,

not close them.

I've known the people for a really long time, since I was about 5. They used to work with my parents.

Since you knew those people, I imagine theg were Jamiliar toith your honeschoolirtg, bttt did it eDer come up uhen Aou u)ere interDieutrg .lor any oJ lhe olher -jobs?

Actually, I think one of the reasons I got the waitressing job was that honreschooling came up in the interrriew and the guy was really interested in it. Of course, I don't know exactly why he

Growing Without Schooling #89

Do l1ou haue ang oduice Jor homeschooling parents or krds things gou're glad gou did., or things you uish gou had done?

-

Don't worry too much about keeping up with your grade level when you're younger, but when you get to be about 18, take a high school equivalency test. I took it, and lt really boosted my selfesteem. I just went in and took it and passed it; I didn't have to study at all. My boy{riend hasn't done that, and he has much lower self-esteem, academicallv. than I do. I took the test because

l8 '

whnted to see how I would do and because I wanted to take sonre courses at the community college and they required it. I had never taken any test, so it was sort of fun to go in and take it, and it was interesting to see the things I did well on and the things I didn't do as well on.

I

What if gou hadn't passed the test, thouglt? Do you thirtk that uould haue mad.e gou doubt gour uhole homeschooling?

No, I think I would have studied for it and tried to pass it. lt turned out that I was able to pass it without studying at all, but the experience of studying for it and then passing it could be important for some people, too.

For me, taking the test was sort of a way of finishing my schooling. I really feel like my high school years are over, and now I'm on to college age - even though I didn't go to college. I don't mean that I've finished learning, but I feel like I'm finished with some of the nitty-gritty and I've gone on to more interesting things, more college-level things.

That's tnteresting - u:hat kinds o.[ tltirtgs?

It's not that I'm really stud3Ting, but I mean the things

I

think about, the questions I ask.

Some parents uonder whether their kids tuill grow up to resent them Jor not giuing thent a normal Anterican chitdhood.,

I left school after thircl gracle ancl horneschoolecl sin<:e then.

Everyone had been through college in my family. and I had always planned to go. I wanted a small school, arrd I liked Coloraclo College's block systenr. You take only one class for three and a halfweeks, four hours a clay. and then you go onto something else, so you study one thing at a time, very intensely.

That fit in witlt what I had been doing as a homeschooler. It was sort of my style.

How did gou explaht gour lrcnescltooling clurtry tlrc adnrissions process?

Colorado College had hact a few homeschooling applicants, so it was somewhat lantiliar to them. My mom wrote a pretty detailed letter about what we had been doing, explaining why t had no transcript. in place of the usual counselor's letter. We hacl the normal test scores to submit, and we hacl a neiAhbor who is a public school teaclrer write one of the teacher's recommendations. She's someone I've known for four or five years, and I've talked with her a lot about homeschooling. I talked about homeschooling in one of the essay questions that asked what you thotrght of the block systenl. I said I hacl been learning ilrat way all along. The way I tendecl to work. in honreschooling, was t.o throw myself into one subject for a month or two. When I was reading War a nd Peace, for example, I just put everything else by the wayside and read that book lor a nronth. I was trbout I S or l6 at the time. It was my own choice to work this way: I wasn't doil.lg assignments from my nrother.

so to speak.

I think it depends on your personality. Some people like being unusual. I think it's important to feel out your kids - if your kids seem really uncomfortable with it, they should go to school.

My parents have friends who have two children: the girl was homeschooled for a couple of years and didn't like it. She wanted to go to school, she wanted to conform. The boy doesn't feel that way at all. He wants to be at home. So that's two totally different personalities in the same family.

I feel like I made a choice to stay out of school, so it's not as if my parents made me do something that I didn't want to do. When I was around l2- l5 I wished that I hacl more friends. but if I had gone to school at that age I don't thlnk I would have found friends an5rway. I was pretty shy then, and I woulcln't have fit in very well. Also, I might not have been up to their level academically at that time.

I've thought about this a lot lately - what I could have done to have had more friends then. My parents are divorced and I used to spend time visiting my father, and my family also traveled because we were involved in seasonal work, so I really wasn't at home very much. I could have gotten more involved with things like 4-H, though, and I think that would have been good.

Do goufeel ony long-term e.[fects Jrom hauing been someduring that time? I mean, catr a person haue a

u.that lonelg

lonelier chtldood than they uoutd tike and still tunt out

right?

At Colorado College lnura

Wl7at tllirrgs did gou do u;itlt groLlps oJ hornescltoolers?

We had a group of about five or six kids do a chenristry class together. One ofthe kids in the group had been very interested in chemistry, and his morn found a nran who has a phD in chenristry and who offerecl to teach a class to interested homeschoolers.

We also had a sports teanr of homeschoolers. There was a man north of here whose family loved homeschooling, bul the one thing the kids regretted rvas that they couldn't play on school sports teams. The father decided to start a homeschoolers, team. and he's been coaching it fior several years now. He got a huge response. about 25 kids. We played softball. volleyball. and basketball. and now they've started playing soccer. In fact, having the sports team helped us set up the chemistry class, because we arranged with the recreation center to use one of their rooms.

What abottt tlTe experietrce o.[ hantirtg to do rrssigrutterils?

You go into college knowing full well what's going to happen.

so you expect to have to do assignments. I picked all classes

really wanted to take. like physics and calculus. I've always known that math or science is what I'm interestecl in.

Hotr.t

that

I

did you sttrdg lhose subjects as a homeschooler?

We had the Saxon math books and the teacher's ediilon.

Those books are so good at explaining things that I Just worked orrt of them myself. We had lots of science experiment books at home, and I was part of the chemistry class that I Just mentioned.

Gelner :

Hotu long did gou homeschool, antd whal made uou decid.e to

go lo college?

It wasn't as harcl or as different as I hacl thou{lrt it would be.

It was more that everything at college was a new experience. We had clone things in groups as honreschoolers. so it wasn't as if I had had no experience with learning in groups. Also, you see enough about classrooms on TV. and hear about them, that it's just not a foreign concept.

aIL

Oh, sure! I don't have any problem now with making friends or meeting new people or anything. I think the teenage years are basically an unhappy, confusing time. Most people I talk to say that, and it certainly was like that for me - partly because of some family thlngs that were going on then and parily just because it was that way. So sometimes you just have a hard time and then it gets easier.

Interuieus u:ith.

Was it ltard to get used to bettg fn a classroorn?

in

Did ttJeel strantge to be u.titlt so rnanU people close to gour age college?

Well. tl-rere is sonte diversity of age at college. 'l'he seniors

and the freshmen are really on different levels, I think, and

Growing Without Schooling #89

r9 homeschoolers are used to that. That's really one of the things that homeschooling does best, I think. you accept people who are difl'erent, and you're used to meeting new people. Maybe it's because I wasn't in school all day and was out there meeting people, or maybe it's because homeschooling makes you get into so many conversations with people, but it seems like we were always talking to people. Also, our sports team played in ethnically diverse areas. We played at three or four different rec centers and got to know people that we never would have known ifwe hadJust gone to the high school here.

Some people wonder tuhether homeschoolers haue a horder time leauing their parents since theg'ue spâ&#x201A;Źnt so much more ttme LDith them grotui.ng up.

For me, it was the exact opposite. It was easier for me to leave than it was for some other people. In homeschooling, you grow up with your parents and you're so nruch more comfortable with them and with yourself that it's fine to let go, because you know they're going to be there. There isn't unfinished business to deal with. I didn't have that overwhelming homesickness that some people have. It seems like some people never tatked to their parents, or never spent time with them because it wasn't cool to hang out with their parents, and now they don't get along as well and nraybe miss what they didn't get.

Do you see goursel-f d.eueloping

a nlore adult relationship u-rith gour parents nou lhat gou're atuag at college?

Yes, but I think that began to develop a while ago, and I think

that's part of homeschooling too.

Yes, I am. We did have books that told us what kids were studying in each grade, and through my lastyears ofhlgh school we would sometimes get them out to see what colleges would be expecting, and then if we came across something that I wouldn't ordinarily do, we would try to find some interesting way to do it.

But when we did that it was because I was preparing for college.

Did gou eDer resent being dilferentJrom other kids?

Going back to school was always an option for us, but we just didn't want to! I had a different childhood, but I'm really happy that I did. True, you do sometimes have these thoughts oi "Everyone else goes to school and has

that in common and I'm different," but by the time you're out of high school, you don't think

because you know they're going to be there.

Do gouJeel that gott were prepared.for college andJor tife oulsicle AoL[ parenls' horne?

I feel like I was really well prepared. I felt I knew myself well.

There are so many things you have to deal with your first year at school - all the parties, the honework, rvho you want to hang out with. I felt like I corrld do what I wanted and not just follow the crowd. I knew who I was. Because you spend so much time w-ith

yourselfas a homeschooler, you do get to know nrore about yourself. And in a way this made it easy for me to find real friends. I felt like I could tell which other people were really solid with themselves and didn't have to follow the crowd, and we kind of found each other.

Wottld people ask you questions about homeschooling?

It doesn't come up as much in college, except when people

talk about what classes they took in high school, I wor.rld say, ..1 didn't clo that," and nlost people thought it was really neat. Some would say, "You didn't have a prom?" but mosily they thought it was an intriguing idea. There are so many more people who have heard of homeschooling now that it's not such a foreign concept.

Do you have any thottgltls.[or people wlrc are homeschc>oling

rtou? Ang aduice or srrggeslions?

jllst always been so glad that we've homeschooled, and

Growing Without Schooling #89

Are you comJortable about the Jact that gou dirln'tJoilou a

curriculum?

In homeschooling, you grow up with your parents and you're so comfortable with them and with yourself that it's fine to let go,

You see each other so much that when the child is growing up, the parent can see that. My mom's always been really good about letting us make decisions. She knou.rs we're ready to be on our own at college. A lot of parents send their kids off to college and when the kids get there they find they can live by themselves, and they come home and try to show their independence, but the parents aren't ready to see it.

I've

it's worked out so well for us. But one suggestion would be to remember that there are always options besides going back to school. Forming the homeschoolers' sports team is a good example. And my sister wanted to take violin, but lessons were expensive, so my mom called the school and asked,if she could Just take orchestra. They said that was fine. So I would encourage people to look at all the options.

about that as much. I'm glad that I'm not just another one of the kids who went to the local high school here.

Can angthing make it easier to cope tuith those Jeelings o-f

being different?

It helps ifyou have other friends who are homeschooling, and I know that this is sometimes hard depending on where you live. Also, when you talk to kids in school, the ones who really make a big deal out of how different you are are eitherjealous orjust don't understand. It's easy to saU just ignore those kids, but I know it's hard to do. Still, I think there are always kids in school who can see homeschooling for what it is and can understand it.

Managing a Carpentry Shop Interuieu u:ith Jacob Spicer: Were gou homeschooled all gour life?

Yes, with the exception ofhalfa year in fourth grade. In sixth grade I attended S/m and one or two other classes.

When did lJoLr leaue home, and u:hat did gou leaue home to

do?

I was 16. (l'm 2l now.) We had been living in an area that was fairly rural but close to a town, and then we moved to an area that was very rural, about fifteen miles from any real concentration of people. I didn't have a driver's license and the distance was difficult for me to navigate by bicycle. Also, I had always wanted to live in the big city. When we visited relatives here, I always stayed as long as possible, tried to see as much as I could.

This was where I wanted to be.

I left full-time employment at home - my father was the house manager for a theater, and I had differentjobs there without knowing exactly what I would do in Chicago. I didn't have a job lined up. When I got to Chicago, the first job that I applied for and received was at Kinko's, the photocopy store. I worked there for seven or eight months, and then started making

20 more money waiting tables at a restaurant where nry friends were working. After a while I became the catering nranager at that restaurant. Then I got ajob working for the 57th Street Bookcase Company - a carpentry shop - and after about a year I was promoted to the position of shop foreman, and I've helcl that position ever since. Now my job entails as much employee

management as carpentry.

Are Aou managirtg people rr'ho are older thant Aou are?

Absolutely. In almost every case, in fact.

Did homeschooling come up when jobs?

AILL u)ere applgirtg

oJ these

Jor ang

I tend to use homeschooling only when it's going to be helpful. When I was applying for a job at Kinko's, a large impersonal corporation, I probably didn't mention it at all.

No one asked gou about

tolrcller gou had o

hr.gh school

diploma?

mean getting a graduate degree, and those years worrld be very focused on one area ofstudy. On the other hancl. I intend to use college classes to clo the things that really interest nre. I want t<r take classes in lnatl.r. ilt Ialtgu?rges, in art. in sociolos/.

Il'-s irrlereslin.g. gi'etl LDIral qou're saAttq notLl, tlnt gott didn't decide to go to colleqe earlier, uthen you.fir.sl le-ft home.

No. I clidn't. and it's iltteresting - the cor-nntunity I live in now. Hyde Park. is the home of the University of Chicago. My boss is an associate professor there. Most of my co-workers wenl tlrere. I've felt a lot of pressure from these people to move along in a certair-r clirection. and I've beerr absolutely resistant to that. It's only just now, in the last six months or a year, that this direction has been what /'m interested in.

I never felt pressure front my parents to go to college. That was never how I was going to be judged. in their e-yes. There was no conditioning that made me think. "l neecl to clo this," when I was l7 or l B. It onl-y becanre interesting to me wherr I took a class that was fascinating. and when I began to clecicle {hat what I w:rntecl to <lo worrlcl rcquire a gra(luate clegrce.

I don't want to sound arrogant, but I think that al some point. a certain degree of articulateness and conduct precludes those questions. Here

in Chicago, you don't routinely get asked about a high school diploma. Most of the young workforce doesn't have one.

How are gou thinking abotrt LheJutureT Do gou plan to sto,g at

this job indefinitelg?

job offers a lot of flexibility, so it's possible for rne to take some time off and iven to My

Sone people.sorl homesclroolers liue bt a reallg protected enuironrnenl o.ncl lhelJ're not goinq to be readg Jor tlrc lortglt uorld out tlere. Wal do gotL sag to that?

I'm not afraid to disagree. I have an inner confidence that comes from homeschooling, or from - well, I'm about to echo a criticism of homeschooling, but I haven't been kicked around, and I like it that wa y.

go to college while working. I had looked at colleges about a year and a halfago; I had taken the SAT and talked to an admis-

sions officer at Harvard. I liked him and I liked the school. but I'm not sure I could afford to go there, and I don't want to movei I really like where I'm living now.

The Harvard admissions officer said that in my case, they had no classroom experience to look at, whereas some other homeschoolers have taken classes at a high school or community college, ancl while that wasn't necessarily a strike against me, one way to strengthen my application would be to shorv them some sort of classroom work. So when I came back to Chicago I thought about it and decided that I could do something about this without feeling negative, and I applied to a city college. There's no application to city colleges here: youjust take entrance tests.

The first class I took was a very basic math class - college algebra - and I had fun. I liked the setting. I liked the fact that the students were there because they wanted to be. The next time around I took two more math classes, and this fall I'm going to take calculus and German. After that, I will have accumulated enough credit hours so that I cotrldjust transfer to another college and would no longer have to explain my homeschooling background unless I wanted to. I think that if I were applying to an hy l,eague school I would want to stress my homeschooling, because it would be interesting, but if I decide to go to the University of lllinois, lt might be in my best interest not to mention homeschooling to them. State schools are often less familiar with it.

What do gou want to studg in college?

I make a big differentiation between college and graduate school. I'm thinktng of becoming an attorney, which would

The thinq about school is that you learn fronr a very early age that there are people who canjust tell you to do things. You learn obedience to authority. In honreschooling there lsn't that automatic obedience to authoritv. Yes. you can get into trorrl;le with an attitucle like that, sornetinres, but it also gives you the imrnense power to cleal with everyone on an adult level. You attenrpt to be taken seriously by everyone. I think school sornetimes takes that out of people.

Some crilics of homeschoolirtg sag that usltat uou're describtnq fs an icleal - irt otlrcr usords. that it's qreat b-t theoru to quesliorr. ttot lo learn dLrtomatic obedierrce. and -so on. but tltat it.t realitg, tlrc rrorlcl rsn't set up to uolue lhose lhul-g.s. so hor.' is someone lik<, tlott going to get c.lotlg.

The truth is. the world isn't necessarily like that. people say that the world is like that. because it seems that way to them: people give thern orders, and they take thern. tsut in fact. you can say to a boss. "Wait, I think you're making a mistake," and nine times out of ten tlre boss will say, "You're right, we've got to fix this." I think people often shut up because they've been told to, but I challenge the notion that life has to be that wzry.

So many people who are in authority in fact deserve to be in that positior-r. because of their experience or intelligence. But it's a great pdvilege to be able to choose the people you're going to respect. I'nr not opposed to authority, but I do question people.

Hout does tlto.t attitude affect the uaA Aou c.ct as a ntanager?

Do gotr -lind lloursef not giDing blanket commands to people?

Managing is so difficult; it requires so much diplomacy.

I

think that because in my family we loved to discuss things, I'm sort ofa diplontat by nature, so that contributes to the way I handle situations at work. I encourage employees to question mg authority. I tencl to think that the complaints of someone who has been working there a week are as valid as the complaints of someone who's been working there a year and a half.

Growing Without Schooling #89

2l How has llw experience oJ not going to schrnl affected lhe uay Aou see roork, iri glerrcral?

One thing is that I'm there by choice, and that goes for every situation I find rnyself in. I don't get stuck places. lf I'm in school, it's because I want to be; if I'm at this job, it's because I want to be. I think maybe if you go to school for sixteen years, it's really easy to sink into a job and just stay there, because you've been "just putting in time" Ibr so long. I have a tendency to think of time as a little more clear; I try to have goals, to think of things that are important to me, and never just coast.

I notice that I have a different way of

thinking about tinre, and I think that stems directly liom not having gone to school. People who have gone to school have all these things they associate with the passing of time: summer's here, school's out: fall's her-e, school begins. 'l'hey think, "ln third grade I did this, in lburth grade I did that." They have a li'arnework to plrt events in. If you ask me when something happened, I'm harcl pressed to say whether it happened three or seven years ago. I bet this is comnron among homesr:l'roolers.

Does lronrcscltooling qffect lle uag 17orr thirrk about being an adult?

Homeschooling chilclren tend to have friends of a wider range of ages, and I think that probably extends to classes ancl creeds, too - they're just generally more excited about rneeting different people. 'fhis is true of me as an adult, too. My best liiends now are a S7-year-old restallrant owrrer, a 28 year old who attended graduate school in mathernatics. My peer group is vcry diverse, anrl I like thzrt.

Do you haue arty acluice, or rl'anrings,

-lbr lrcmeschooling parents?

Yes, a couple. My family and I debatecl

this one: I maintained strongly that there are things provided at school that you can't get at hon1e, or that some states make it extremely diliicrrlt to get at honre. One is driver's ed. I clicln't get my driver's license until I was 18, here in the city. The fact that I couldn't get a driver's license at home was one ol-the things that made it clillicult for me to imagine staying there Ibr a long time. On the other hand, my parents have worked something out so that my sister, who is 17, does drive, and that's very liberating for her ancl for them.

The seconcl warning I have is, clo not let your personal interests be the only things that you jump to teach your children when they ask. I have a great command of words and love to write, but my grasp of mathematics is more nreager.

The reason isn't that I'm not mathematically inclined, but that my parents are both very artir:ul:rte anci verbally in<'linecl. 'l'here's a danger that il-your parents have skills in one area and not in another, you will wind up that way as well. I think it's inrportant for parents, even in snrall

Growing Without Schooling #89

groups. lo nrix and match - parents in lronreschooling groups can offer skills to olher people's children.

Do yotr think homeschoolers euer reserTt hrruing

had unusual childhoods?

I don't think adults ever resent being untrsual, but I think people can resent feeling behind or left out or inadequate, and society can sornetimes put homeschoolers in a position where they feel

that way. hileresling tllcLt !)ou phrase it tl]|'?.t LDa!) ralher llran saaing that some homeschoolers are behind, because oJ'course "behtttl" doesn't rneant anything bg itself, il's all in relotio,l lo tlr.e norrn thal societu sels up.

Right, and I think the settings you choose for your learning are very important. I was leaming pretty basic math at the city college, at first, but in that setting, the lact that we were taking this class as aclults wasn't perceived as a deficiency, it was perceived as a desire: I want to learn this and I will work for it. That's very dill'erent liom the rvay I rvould have felt hacl I been forced to be in a class perceived as remedial.

Parents tuory1 whether it's really OK not to do -lbrrnal schoohtork uith thev

kicis.

It was for me. I'rn a classic example of sorneone who really didn't do any.

1.1ou

Wtat aspects qf homeschooling are partictLlarlg pleased uith?

#90. lf you've recently sent us a change to your listing but don't see it here, it means that we're holding it for the complete Directory.

Our Directory is nota list of all subscribers, but only of those who ask to be liste4 so that olher GWS readers, or other interested people, may get in touch with them. lf you would like to be included, please send ihe entry form or a 3x5 card (one tamily per card). Please take care to include all the inlormation last name, full address, and so on. Tell us il you would rather have your phone number and lown listed instead of your mailing address (we don't have space to list bolh). lf a Directory listing is tollowed by a (H), the lamily is willing to host GWS travelers who make advance arrangements in writing. lf a name in a GWS story is followed by a state abbreviation in parentheses, that person is in the Directory. We are happy to forward mail to lhose whose addresses are not in the Directory. It you want us to foMard the letler without reading it, mark the outside ot lhe envelope wilh writeis name/description and the issue number. lf you want us lo read the letter and then forward it, please enclose another slamped envelope.

When you send us an address change tor a subscription, please remind us if you are in the Directory, so we can change it here, too.

Please remember that we can't control how ihe Directory is used; if you receive unwanted mail as a result ol being listed, just toss it out.

(Brian/8o, AL - Michael & Jane HARRISON John/86) 1 149 Hardwick Ln, Homewood 35209 AK Janlee & Ken IRVING (Geoffrey/81, Bonnie/86, Brita/87) 2650 Home Run, Fairbanks 99709 (H)

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AZ Roy & Susan TANIGUCHI (Salley/83) 10414 W Mulberry Dr, Phoenix 85039

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AR Kevin & Priscilla TENNAL (Lianna./8o, Laural82, Catherine/86, David/9o) 51 1 I C Street, Little Rock 72205 (H)

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I was always doing interesting things.

When I wzrs lO, we liveci in Grand Rapicls, Michigan, and I was in a community theater play, and I wtrs a volunteer at a big library. I had a lot of independence - I walked thirteen blocks by myself to the library. I helped out at the food co-op that my father ran at the time. I-ater I worked at a newspaper.

I love the fact that I didn't get sent to school, I cherish it and it's something I'm very proud of. I've gotten over flaunting it: I used to tell everyone I met that I didn't go to school! But I think homeschooling is responsible for so many things in my

daily life. It's responsible for the fact that I never rule anyone out, I never say,'That person doesn't have any'thing to offer me."

On the other hand, when everyone in the group is listening to someone and agreeing with thenl, I'm not afraid to disagree. I have an inner confidence that comes frem homeschooling, or from - well, I'm about to echo a criticism of homeschooling, but I haven't been kicked around. and I like it

that way.

Beth & Bill CA, North (zips 94000 & up) BOEHLKE (Max/81) 17322 Grace Ct, Grass Valley 95949.- Sunny & David BOOHER (Michelle/79) 912 Valencia Av, Davis 95616 (H)... Annemarie & Robert DONJACOUR (Eval8g) 32 Highland Av, San Francisco 941 10 (H) -. Fred & Laurie KEESAW (Jesse/84, Nicona/86) 26800 Hwy 9, Boulder Creek Mike & Janet MCDOLE (Lee/80, MarU 95006 (H) 82) 844 Coachman Pl, Clayton 94517 -. Mike & Patti MICHEL-EVLETH (Nikki/74, Skyler/83, Hailey/88) l6 Meridian Ct, Sacramento 95833 (H) o. trs6s 6 Matthew PAPA (Nikolai/84, Alexandra/90) 566 Malield Dr, Santa Rosa 95403 Pam & Mark PETERS (Becky/86, Jonah/88, Hannah/gl) 245 Los Bonos Av, Walnut Creek 94598 (H) Carolyn & Jim SCHIMANDLE (lris/87, Marguerite/8g) 460 Kalana Av, Morgan Hill 95037

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CA, South (zips to 94000) Mona Ann CHOW & Stanley WONG (Erid86, Lisa./88) 2409 W Hall Av, s1nrg]1l" 92704 -. Preslon_& P_atry

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GIBSON _

#+A*x'{o Art Facts* ',n

f)rsrolering Man's

Additions to Directory Here are the additions and changes that have come an since our last issue. Our complete 1992 Directory was published in GWS #84, and the complete 1993 Directory will be published in GWS

Var ied.

Cuhures

Children Re-Creating Crafts In Context Call For

f

A

Free Brochute

-800-952-0486

113

Inoleside Avenue . Saltimorq M0 ?1228

nhrll Jl==

22

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(Lauren/8s, Nicu8s, Molly/88) 13171 Spur Branch Cir, Corona 91719.- Jackie & Jeff SISCO (Alex/86, Greg/ 88, Jeff/9o) 12508 Tibbetrs St, Sytmar 91342 Barbara STAVROFF (Michaelt6, Serena//8, Arten/ 80) 720 4th Av #1 88, San Diego 921 0t (H) ... Ken & Marsha TUDOR (Colin/82, Carissa/86) 6266 Mayberry Ln, Afta Loma 91737 Katrina & Ken WHTTE (NicoletS, Eticang, Joe/81, Chris/84) 22416 Litfle Klondike Rd, Ramona 92065 Elizabeth & Terry WOODFIELD (Sarah/84, Kate/88) 14852 Lauret Grove Cir, lrvine 92714 (change)

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- William & Roberta BERRY 9609 Hammontree Dr, Urbandale

(Thomas/8g) 50322 (change)

KY John & Meg McCLOREY (Christopheri83, Meriwether/86) PO Box 275, Somerser 42502 (H)

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ME Ruth EVELAND & John O'BR|EN (Joel/ 88, David/91) PO Box 160, Tenants Harbor 04860 (H)

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MD Jim & Jenny HOERST (Kendrar'87, Ben/ 89, baby/92) 11415 Walpole Ct, Bowie Z07ZO (Hl.Therese & Peter CALVEFTT (RoberVSS, John/86, Kate/ 88) 18 Mountain Rd, Princeton 01541 (H) -. Maggie COLE (Dougie/88) 96 Acorn St, Miltis 02054

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- Bryan & Tracie DEMTNG (Amanda/8s, Christopher/87) Unschoolers Family Support Grp, CO

5315 Landgan St, Colorado Spgs 80919 (H) -. Bitl GRAHAM & Susan LANTER-GRAHAM (parrictd84) 556 Barclay St, Craig 81625 (H) -. l;6othy & Krista STEWART (Ricld81, Ruth/84, ThomastBTl 44925 Sherman St, Englewood 801 10

MA Michelle HELD & Paut SEGUTN (Beniamin/86, Andrew/89) Bayleal, Conway 0j341 (H) ... Henry & Suzanne LANGLOTS (Matthew82, Monique/8s, Sarah/g1) 1460 Newman Av, Seekonk 02771-2613 -. Anne & Bob LERMAN (Adam/85, Gordon/87. Sarah/88) 41 Myrtle St, Eelmont 02178 (H) Barry & Mara LEVIN (Alexn7, Etena/8't ) 2 Beverly Cir, Holliston 01746 (H) -. Sandra & Christopher SOTAK (DereU83, Onalie/85, Michaet/87) 65 Kendall Rd, Jefferson 01522 (H)

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CT Peter & Carol DELANEY (Michael & Francis/81 , Ruth/85, David/88, Mary/gl ) 125 Ctinton

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Dr, S Windsor 06074 (H) -. Carolyn & Dominick DeMASI (Lauraflg, Sara/81, Anna/84, Emity/88) 4 Pond Crest Rd, Danbury 0681 1 (H) -. 66st1 YESBERGER, 214 Chitd Rd, Woodstock 06281-1S13

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FL Kevin & Karen BEACH (Evan/8o, Megan/ 83, Erin/86) 3403 67th St Ct E, Bradenton 34208 Gurelle & Brian KEARNEY (Jymmy/86, Chad/88, Ryan/g1) Rt 1 Box 399-M, Bell 32619 (H) Robert & Rachel LAYMAN (Trevor/89) 430 Otd Spanish Trt, Lantana 33462 -. Jim & Dianne SCOTT (Tv/87, WttV 89) 39826 Jim Scott's Rd, Leesburg 34788

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Ml lgnacio VILLA & Jeannie MCLEOD (t4ateo/ 85, Camilo/88, Pablo/91) 12291 Fagan Rd, Hoily 48442 (H)

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MN

Ann & Peter BODINE-BONYHARD Qohnn+,Ka(inans, Davidf/9) PO Box 39653, Edina 55439-0653 (change) -. Todd & DeAnna GANZ (Lacey/84, Tyler/85) 2325 171 Ln NE, Ham Lake 55304 (H) -. Penelope & Eric HILLEMANN (Phoebe/ 89, baby/92) 300 E 6th St, Northfietd 55052

Hl Margaret & Higgins MADD|GAN (Caittin/ 88, McKenzie/91) Lahaina Market Place, Lahaina, Maui 96761 -. Caroline & Sooriya SOORIYAKUMAR (Sai/89) 84-770 Upena St, Waianae 96792 (H)

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- Jane HOMEYER & Robert JENSEN (MargareV88, Anne/90) 7105 Amherst, University

Betsy & Art AYERS (Sadie/85, Emma/89.

Hannah/g1) 1515 Everett, Catdwell 83605 (H)

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Steve & Marti ADELSMAN (Aaron/74, Ethan/77 , Paul/8o) 5904 W Race Av, Chicago 60644 (H)... Tom & Wanda BERRY (Quinn/82, Caiflin/85) 2949 Willow Rd, Homewood 60430 -. Ansetma DOLCHICH-ASHLEY & MAtthEW ASHLEY (JOhN/89) 5233 S Greenwood Av #2, Chicago 6061 5 ... Heather & Ron FISHEB (Chris/85, Timl86l, 2215 pepper Vailey #3, Geneva 60134 -. Nancy SZYMANSKI & Brian WILSON (Carissar'80, Etizaberh/gO) 839 W Weltington, Chicago 60657

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lN Mark & Alesha REEVES (CotV85, Lindy/ 87, Cody/8g, baby/92) RR 3 Box 277, Veedersburg

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NC Susan DUNATHAN & Matt LAWRENCE (Max/84, Clare/85) 300 Brown Cir, Rotesvitte 27S71 (change) .- Susan & Bob RATNER (Joshuat6, Shana/79, Micah/81, Dena/83, Rebeccah/86, Noah/ 91)3'15 Sondley Dr E, Asheville 28805 (change)

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OH lvan & Marlene BEGGS (Joy/74, ErictT, Brad/81, Peter/83) 236 1gth NW, Canton 44709-3849 (H) -. Katharine EWING (Douglas/82, Margaret/86) 3966 Elmwood Rd, Cleveland Hts 44121 .- Tammy LEUBA (Jewel/87, Micah/g1) 1860 Hitt Rd, Yeilow Springs 45387 (H) -. Barbara WALKER & Steven ROOF (Ben/84, Tegan/9o) 1641 Coventry Rd - down, Cleveland Hts 44118-1137 (H)

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OR Shannon & Susan SALMON (Jessica./81.

Ashly/82, Joshua/8g, Danalgzl PO Box 24, McKenzie Bridge 97413

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PA Bonald & Diana BASEMAN (Otivia/78, Delia/82, Gabriel/86, Raphael/88, Larissa./g t ) PENNSYLVANIA HOME EDUCATION NEWS, HD 3 Box 256 I, Tarentum 15084 (change) Alexandra FRENCH (Alxie/85, Zanelg}l Box 39A RD #1, patm 18070 Rich & Mary HIMMER (Rebecca/81, David/ 85) 1035 Hereford Dr, Blue Bell 19422 Ed & Cheryl LACHOWSKI (Benjamin/92) 33 Kulz Rd, Fteetwood 19522 Patti SCHAEDER & Rick BARKEB (Daniet/ 85, Molly/87, Cailin/91) 920 Lewis Ln, Rosemont 19010-1208 (H) -. FreO & Yelena VAN DOHEN (Yulia/82, Sophia/87, Natalia/8g, Daniet/g1) 365 W North St, Carlisle 17013 (H)

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63130.- Victoria MORAN (Rachet/83) 3944 Beil St, Kansas Cily 64111 (H) NJ Poldi BINDER & Misha BASALAEV (Anna/88, Robin Sue/92) 4754 S 2nd Av, Hightand Park 08904... Valerie KAY & Raymond HONEYWELL (Calvin/88, Timothy/g1) 14 Brook Pt, Broomfield 07003

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NY Daniel BADGLEY & Carot MTNERVABADGLEY (Jasno/85, Rachel/86, Beniamin/gt) HCR Box 265, Owls Head 12969 (H).- Jim & Tracey COVELL (Jimmy/84, JacU87, Glen/g t ) 24 Cramer Rd. Poughkeepsie 12603 David & Brynda FILK|NS (Vanessa./80, Melissa,/83, Allison/85) FAMtLtES FOR HOME EDUCATION, 5458 Oxbow Rd. Cazenovia

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ENTRY FORM FOR DIRECTORY this form to send us a new entry or a substantial address change. Ifyou don't want to cut out the form, photocopy it or write the information on a 3x5 card.

Use

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SC Dranna & Robert BROUGHTON (Bobby/ 87\ 24?O Golf Course Rd. Lancaster 29720

MO

lO

13035 (H) Christina & John LUND (Danieli84, Benjamin/86) 13 Willow St, Sayville 1 |782 Nancy ROTHMAN & Steve OSTROW (Peregrine/88) RD #4 Box 91, Bells Pond Rd, Hudson 12534

TN Betty & Greg KRAMEB (Graham/86, Charlolte/9O) PO Box 7095, Kingsport 37664 James & Margaret STEPHENS (Marshatt/86, Tommy/ 89) PO Box 838, Sewanee 37375 -. Marcia WINTERS & David WASSERMAN (Lauret/79) 1704 E sth Av. Knoxville 37917

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TX Rachel & Mark BATTEY (Sam/85, Astrid/ 87) 1 608 31 Sl, Galveston 77550 Fred & Cathy BAUER (Skylarl/8, Freddie/8o, Tanner/84) 155 Tahiti Dr, Granbury 76048 -. Don & Becky DAVTS (Tony/84, Erica,/85, Teddy/9o) 1005 Detta Dr, Corpus Christi 78412 (H)

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UT Jane & Bill MOORE (Abby/8o, John/82) 3490 W Wrangler Way, Park City 84060

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VA Scott & Sharon CASTONGUAy (Amatia/ 87, Shaina/91 ) 2257 Arlington Terr, Atexandria 223031505 -. Joyce HARTLEY & Paut cUtDER (phoebe/ 88, Max/90) Bt 1 Box 298, Manquin 23106 (H) lsn & Mary LAVOIE (John/86, Mark/88) 1 2260 Exbury St, Herndon 22O7O Steve & Terry SKTNNER (Sarah/ 88, Jeremiah/89, lsaiahigl) General Delivery, James Store 23080 (H)

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Adults (first and last names):

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Organization (only if address is same as family):

Children (names/birthyears):

WA

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P. Marie DENMAN & Darret NASH

(Bryan/17 , Marie Elise/82) 1632 Jones Dr SE, Renton

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98055 Peter & lrene GLICK (Jared/87, Roxanne/ 90]. 1221 NW Norcross Way, Seattle 98177 (H)

Full address (Street, City, State, Zip):

Wl Craig & Helen KTTZMAN (Jacob/8l, Eva/ 84, Hannah/88) 455 London Rd, Deerlield 53531 Mary & Joe MATILA (Opat/83, Andrew/8s, Lier/87, Martin/go) Rt I Box 96, Mapte 54854 Megan & Mark PERRINE (Mika//8, Teat/81, Curi/84, Nori/89) Rr 1 8ox 73A, Mason 54856 (H) DaviO & Miriam wILLIAMS (NicU82, MatV84, Tim/86) 91S Oak Sr. Beloit 5351 1

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Are you willing to host traveling GWS readers who make advance arrangements in writing? Yes _ No _ Are you in the 1992 Directory (cWS #84) yes _ No _ Or in the additions in this issue or in GWS #87? yes

No

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Growing Without Schooling #89

23 Canada: NS Jo-Ann & Harold MacNEtL (Rae/Bt. Ednl 89, Belh/g1) 2417 Viclory Ln, Hatifax B3K 2W9

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ONT John & Michelte TTDBALL (Andrew/85) Box 264, Mt Albert Loc 1MO

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Other Locations

David & Keiko CARLSON (Emily/ 89) 1780 Hirooka, Gobara, Shiojiri, Nagano-ken 39907, Japan (H) -. Mart & Peri COLEMAN (Bevan/8o, Faith/81) Toonda Rd, via Bajool e 4699, Australia (H) ... Tricia & David FEWER/S|MS (Madeteine/86, Gabriel/89) Westwood Ftat, Fonthilt Rd, Bath, Avon, England BAI 5RQ Miranda Mady WELTER & Maurice TRAPP (Nikolas/83, Selina/87, Markandeya/ 91 ) House 5, L-8541, Kapweiler Luxembourg (H) Steve & Robyn W|GMORE (Katherine/87, Zacharyt89) 12 Loxton Pl, Forestville, NSW 20S7, Australia

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Groups to add to the Oirectory of Organizations: CO Unschooters Family Support Grp, 5315 Landgan St, Colorado Spgs 80919 Hl The Tropical Homeschooler (newsletter for lsland homeschoolers) c/o pinsky, 220 Waipalani Rd, Haiku, Maui 96708; 808-572-9289 KS Lawrence Area Unatfiliated Grouo of Homeschoolers, c/o Michener, RR 1 Box 496, perry 66073 NY Families for Home Education, 5458 Oxbow Rd, Cazenovia 13035

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Address Changes: OH Homeschool Network of Greater Cincinnati, 642 Romohr Acres, Cincinnati 45244;7326355 -. Ohio Home Educators Network (OHEN), pO Box 23054, Chagrin Fatts 44O23-OOS4 216-543-5644 OR People Assisting lhe Challenge of Home Study, c/o C.â&#x201A;Ź,ig, 22215 SW Jaquith Rd, Newberg

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97132 PA Pennsylvania Home Education News. RD 3 Box 256 B, Tarentum 15084 VA Northern VA Homeschoolers/LEARN 47756 Fathom Pl, Sterting 20165:703-444-3455 WA Washington Homeschool Organization, '18130 Midvale Av N, Seailte 98133; 206-546-9483, 206-298-8942 National Homeschool Legal Defense Assoc, PO Box 159, Paeonian Spgs VA 22129;703-338-5600 ... National Center tor Home Education, pO Box 200, Paeonian Spgs VA 22129; 203-338-7600

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Certified Teachers Willing to Help Homeschoolers: Diana Baseman, RD 3 Box 2568, Tarenlum PA 15084... Jo Moberly, 149 S Main St, Naples NY 14512 Helpful Psychologist: Mary Ann Hutchison, 29 Navy St, Penthouse, Venice CA 90291; 31O-Zg1-7711

Pen-Pals Children wanting pen-pals should wflte to those listed. To be listed, send name, age, address, and 1-3 words on interests.- BERG, 1495 Riverside Av, Eoulder CO 80304: Leit (7) cursive, triends, Akido; Noah (4) gymnastics, playing -. Laura TENNAL (10) 51 l9 C St, Little Rock AR72205; art, reading, music -. HUMPHREY, 612 Meadow Lark Ln, Cheyenne Wy 82009-3302: Krista (16) reading, music, being wild; Lee Jr ( 4) reading, computers, outdoo,s RAST, 1682 Hamilton Av, San Jose CA 95125-5402: Tamiko (13) music, swimming, art; Jasmine (11) cooking, gymnastics, horses; Miles (10) baseball, computers, stamps... Joshua GOODFELLOW (9) 655 SW j42 St, Seattle WA 98166; bikes, drawing, swimming...

HOLLEGEB,3106 Swede Rd, Norristown pA 19401: Mary (7) acting, arts, crafts: Dianne (4) acting, bikes, turtles ... Jenny GEANULEAS ( 1 1 ) 43S W Shore Rd, Guemes WA98221; acting, reading, friends...

KELLER, '1584 Stillwater St, White Bear Lake MN 1

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Growingi Without Schooling #89

551 10: Jessica (1 1) dancing, gymnastics, horses;

Peter (8) dinosaurs, animals, bikes .- Ashley GOLDSMITH-SANDERS (5) Rr 2 Box 5928, Remtap AL 35133; bikes, animals, crafls ... BONEYOKOYAMA, 1931 1Oth Av, Honotutu Ht 96816-2909: Will (13) horses, archery, surfing; Jens (13) stamps, surfing, bikes; Kala (8) surting, archery, stamps...

Jessica WHEELER (13) USAID/DHAKA,/6120, Washington DC 20521-6120j horses, dogs, piano...

Mikaelah BECHER (12')74j5 New Harmony Rd, Evansville lN 47720: readjng, crafts, singing -. 11151;n PULCINI (9) 1360 Putnam Btvd, Wailingford pA 19086; dogs, ballet, Nintendo -. Michelle BOOHER (13) 912 Valencia AV, Davis CA 95616; writjng, theatre, cats -. Nichotas MCBRIDE (7) 18 lvest Dr, E Falmoulh MA 02536; coins F|SHER,2215 peppe( Valley #3, Geneva lL 60134: Chris (Z) sports, games, comedy; Tim (6) art, monsters, 6nipql5 ooo SOTAK, 65 Kendall Rd, Jetferson MA 01522: Derek (9) drawing, monsters, reading; Onalie (7) bikes, writing, dogs -. Ariel TERGEOGLOU (10) pO Box 35, Laupahoehoe Hl 96764; theatre, art, babysitting Daniel WARSHAW (11) 35 Harborage Av, Bayville NJ 0872 1 ; legos, art, science

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Reward for bringing in new subscribers: ll you convince someone to become a new subscriber to take oul a subscription at 925 a year - you will receive a $5 credit which you can apply to any John Holt's Book and Music Store order or to your own subscription renewal. Check the box under your mailing label to indicate that you are the one who brought in this new subscriber, and lhen clip or copy the form and have your friend fill it out and enclose the $25 payment. We wiil process your friend,s subscription and send you the g5 credit. This ofler does not apply to gift subscriptions or renewals. For a tuller explanation, see GWS #82, D.2.

Declassified Ads Rates: 700lword, $1/word boldface. please tell these folks you saw the ad in GWS. FREE Science Magazine loaded with experiments.

TOPS ldeas, 10970 S Mutino Rd, Canby OB 97013.

SHIMER COLLEGE seeks applications trom homeschoolers. Four-year liberal arls curriculum.

Small discussion classes. Intense student involvement. Early entrance option. POB 4-500, Waukegan rL 60079. 708-623-8400.

SAVE $$$ ON MORTENSEN MATH UP TO 40% OFF REGULAR PFICE. NOW AVAILABLE HOME MATH KIT ONLY $199 + l0% SHIP. TOLL FREE CALL VISA/MC. FREE CATALOG CALL 1.800-338-9939.

Do you have a compuler? Would you like to use it more In your homeschool? Would you like to receive monthly projects, iokes, articles, and puzzles? Send for a free issue of our newsleiler and information aboul our workbooks and software. Specify type ot computer. Write today for free intormalion. you supply the guidance; we help with soflware, suggestions and background articles. Desktop Schooling, 1507 Brock, St. Louis, MO 63139. 912/yr-

Searching for help in math, English, reading, or geography? Video Tutor has the answer. We offer high-qualily, educational video tapes specializing in those subjecl areas. For free catalog write Video Tutor, Dept. G, 2109 Herbertsville Rd, pt pleasant NJ 08742; 1 -800-445-8334.

Jewish Home Educators Network provides information, resources, and support. For a free copy of our newsleller send a SASE (520) to Ernstotf, 2 Webb Rd, Sharon MA 02067.

HOUSTON ALTEBNATIVE EDUCATION ALLIANCE, an alternative group, idea and information exchange, and networking forum. Come grow with us! Write H.A.E.A., 11702-8 Grant Rd, Suire 112, Cypress, TX 77 429. Pnone 71 3-370-3756.

Geneva lllinois family seeks homeschooling friends.

708-232-2459.

Free ojlavor cake recipe and 1 5 best ever dessert recipes. Cookies, cakes, ice cream, etc. Receive recipes and brochure listing 35 all natural flavors.

Send $1 p/h to Box 126-GWS, Norwood pA1gO74.

Family ot 4 - traveling in Europe - 1993. Seeks friends abroad, places to stay. Write: Calabria, pO 29654,

seatile wA 98118_ Educational Puzzles for less - Quality name brands, including peg-puzzles, wood maps, alphabet, numbers, spelling. Free catalog. MICHELLE'S LEARNING TOOLS, 3405 Setkirk Dr, #gws, Burnsville, MN 55337. 612-8BZ-8325.

MOTHER & HOME BOOKS. Finaily! A mait order bookstore for your most important protession. Hard{ofind books, newsletters, cards, and "At Home By Choice'T-shirts. Many topics relating to motherhood, molher's other interests, and home managemenl. Free cafalog: MHB, 3 Westerdale Rd, RR 2 Box 122, Woodstock, VT 05091. 802-457-1993.

TREEPLANTERS NEEDEO - Men and women - ideal for homeschoolers - travel Dec. thru March through southeast hand planting seedlings. Hard work but great pay. Mobil camping set-up required. We are a homeschooling family. Send resume tor info.

Eckerman Forestry, Ftt 1 Bx 290-D, Warrensville. NC 28693. 91 9-385-6838.

tlandcrafted musical instruments - lgnite the love ol playing music in your child. Two-octave zithers, bowed psalteries, hammer dulcimers, drums and more. Send SASE to James Jones Musical Instruments, Rte 5 Box 256, Bedford VA24523.

24

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in Our Fall

New

Family Matters: Why

Hard Times in Paradise, by

Homeschooling Makes Sense,

by David Guterson. A high

David and Micki Colfax. How a family stood up for its beliefs, took risks, learned by jumping in and trying, and always involved the children in the family's workanddecision-making.

Hardcover. #1682, $19.95

school English teacher who homeschools his three sons gives brilliant answers to questions about

socialization, democracy, and much more. Hardcover.

legality, #7676.

GWS was founded ln 1977 by John Holt.

Editor - Susannah Shefler Publisher - Patrick Farenga Contributing Editor - Donna Richoux Eclitorial Assistant - Mary Maher Editorial Consultant - Nancy Wallace

Catalog!

Ofllce & Subscription Manager - Day Farenga Shipping Manager - Rebecca Mooney Office Assistants - Maureen Carey, Katherine Doolittle. Randi Kelley, Dawn I-ease Inventory Manager - Janis Van Heukelom Shipping Assistants - Stephanie D'Arcangelo, Ginger Fitzsimmons, Nancy Walsh Bookkeeping - Mary Maher

$22.95

llolt

Associates Board of Directors: Patrick Farenga (Corporate President), Mary

The Exhausted School, ed. by

Maher. Tom Maher, Donna Richoux,

John Gatto. Complete transcripts

Susannah Sheffer Advisors to the Board: Ann Ban', Day Farenga, Mary Van Doren,

on the speeches given at the Carnegie Hall event in November '91, and a new essay by Gatto. Topics

Nancy Wallace Copyright O1992 Holt Associates, Inc.

include homeschooling, alternative schools, Waldorf schools, Free

All rights reserved.

schools. #1672, $10.95

Also: Anchor Math, by Leslie Hart. #1658, $77.95 Art from Many Hands, by jo Miles Schuman. #1658, $17.95.

The Dancing Puppet Theatre, by Doreen D'Eath. #1662, 912.

The Discovery of the Americas, by Betsy & Giulio Maestro. #1664, gs.gs

{ el xzJa

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Explorabook, by John Cassidy and The Exploratorium. #1674, $17.95.

The Flying Circus of Physics, by Jearl Walker. #1678, $9.95.

The Geography Coloring Book, by Wynn Kapit. #1680, $9.95.

Kid Heroes of the Environment, by the Earthworks Group. #1688, Voices of the Civil War, bv Milton Melzer. #1714, $14.95.

=X:iiiis.g o

$4.95.

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