The Game Changers guide to…how to be an effective communicator? In association with The Good Life Manifesto

LUDOVIC VUILLIER Founder of The Good Life Manifesto

Q Why are high level communication skills required not only in the work place?

Almost everything in life requires us to communicate with others. The moment another person is involved, be it spouse, landlord, teacher, doctor or even cashier, it will require communication in some form. It may be only non-verbal if it is a short interaction, for example when communicating with other drivers while in the car, or crossing the road as a pedestrian. Or perhaps it will require a lot of verbal communication, such as with a spouse. The better you communicate, the more effective your communications will be. This means that not only will you be achieving more, but it will also be done with less stress and fewer misunderstandings.

Q How can it improve your life?

In every way possible. Imagine everything in your life going a little more smoothly. Everything. Less fights, less misunderstandings, more cooperation and better results. Those are just a few of the ways that having good communication skills can improve your life.

Q What are the core skills to have in order to be an effective communicator?

This is a debate many people have. And it is important, since there is a lot of information about how to communicate effectively, and it takes time to learn this well. The truth is that no matter how good you are, you can always improve. But we have to start somewhere, so how to choose?

Let us remember that all communication has a purpose. That purpose is not the good feeling of just spouting words into the world. The purpose is always as part of an interaction with someone else, whether it is direct or indirect.

GAME CHANGERS Issue #25 Ludovic Vuillier Founder of The Good Life Manifesto

two things: how to read the person in front of us, and how to tailor our communication for that particular person and purpose.

Each new piece of knowledge about communication needs to help with one of these two things.

But there is so much to know! This is where you need to filter. Learn the things that are the easiest, yet have the highest impact. With this method you may not have a sharpened communication tool yet, but it will be a useful one to get you started.

From my experience in the field, I suggest to most people to learn how to use questions well. I have met very few people who have learned to use this tool successfully, and it is a shame. I have a free webinar that I do on the subject that explains how useful it is to know how to use questions effectively in communication. I always see everyone in shock when they realise how powerful it is and yet fairly easy to learn.

Q We have a huge amount of sales people reading Game Changers, is this type of communication different to interpersonal communication?

It is not, really. The skillset is the same. The only difference is in its purpose. In our personal lives our conversations tend to be less goal oriented than the conversations we have in our business lives. But other than that, it is the same.

Q Can communication skills be learnt, or is it something people have naturally?

It is both, just like any skill. Think of Michael Phelps. His body is built for swimming - long torso, short legs. This does not mean someone built more proportionately cannot be a great swimmer, but Phelps was built for it. Communication can absolutely be learned, and to a high level, but just like Phelps and swimming, some people have an innate ability. But except for the master levels of the skill, where the additional instinctive ability gives an edge, practically anyone can learn how to communicate at a very high level.

Q Is good communication linked to having strong self-confidence?

Absolutely. All confidence comes from the way we feel about ourselves. When you are able to communicate in a way that leads to better results in your overall life - whether they be monetary, relationships, dating, business or simply getting your coffee served with a smile - you will feel better about your place in the world. You will feel more in control about the outcomes in your life, and that leads to greater confidence. I have worked with clients whose confidence grew so much during our time together simply by internalizing what they were seeing me do. And it is amazing to see that type of transformation in someone.

Q How can people improve their communication skills, is there a course they can take?

First of all, a good way to immediately improve communication is to emotionally disconnect yourself from the situation at hand. By not reacting to everything said to you, it is easier for you to analyse and be proactive in your responses on the subject.

There is a series of courses that we built at The Good Life Manifesto to help everyone improve their communication skills. The first course in the series teaches individuals how to properly use questions since that is by far the most underutilized communication skill, and it can bring incredible results.

I welcome everyone to a free introductory webinar about questions to understand why they are so powerful as a communication medium.