StartForgiving.com Step Three: Choose the Narrow Way When we fail to forgive others, we place a “sword of Damocles” over their heads. One little misstep on their part will break the horsehair, and unleash the sword of our anger. We put the others in fear of our wrath. We haven’t forgotten what they’ve done, which is normal. But we’ve let our memories become a weapon. Forgiveness may not require forgetting, but it does require letting go. A secret: To forgive another person it is essential to stop retelling over and over the story of what happened. We even have to stop telling it in our thoughts or replaying it in our imagination. Each time we do so, we are increasing the depth of our own pain. While we objectively recount whatever happened, being aware of the moral judgments we are making of the other person or ourselves is an important step on the journey toward forgiveness. 1. Write out the objective facts of what happened without judgment or attributing motives to the other person. _____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ 2. What do you think about the other person? What name would you call them to their face if you could? _____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________
StartForgiving Process Step Three. Based on Forgiveness: A Catholic Approach Page 1 StartForgiving.com © Daughters of St. Paul. This can be copied freely. www.pauline.org