Dare to be the Change Article

I sat quietly in the living room, dogs asleep next to me. The rain pushed around by gust of wind was tip-tapping rhythmically on the window. Suddenly, without warning, Kira lifted her head. Her body was perfectly still. Only her ears moved ever so slightly, precisely and purposely, scanning the air. Beyond the noise of the rain, her sensitive dog ears had captured a sound that, as a human, I did not have access to, and sure enough, a few moments later, the doorbell rang. After attending to the door, I returned and praised her for her guard dog skills! This time she was not just hearing but listening to me. Watching my every move. Tuning into the tone of my voice. Solid eye contact, ears lifting and rotating. I could tell she was fully present, listening intensely using her whole being. This experience got me thinking about our human listening habits. When you listen to someone, do you ever find yourself: - Faking attention, practising selective hearing? - Waiting for your turn to talk? - Interrupting the conversation? - Making assumptions, jumping to conclusions? - Giving in to internal or external distractions? How do you feel when the person you are talking to is engaging in some of these habits? We can all improve our listening skills, and the first step is to stop talking (our body gives us a clue since most of us have 2 ears and 1 mouth, so perhaps we should use them proportionally!) and observe our own ‘not so helpful’ listening habits with humour and kindness. Here are Kira’s 5 top tips to be a better human listener: 1 - Remove external distractions – put your phone down, switch off the TV 2 - Be present and aware of your inner chatter 3 - Show that you are listening – a nod, tilt your head 4 - Look for verbal and non-verbal cues - intonation, pace, body language, facial expressions 5 - Listen to understand (not to respond) – be aware of your own interpretations and assumptions and ask for clarification.

(Note: if you feel that you are not in the right space to listen, be honest and gentle with yourself and the other person and say so.) Lend an ear to someone, temporarily disconnect from tech, reconnect to the subtle and powerful art of listening and dare to be the change you want to see in your organisation, family, community and life!