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Why Mariah Matters 5 Best Weekend Getaways Everyone Welcome In San Juan

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Pop Star Idolization & Why Mariah Carey Matters By Chris Azzopardi Photos: Grant Delin, Robert Hoetink

ariah Carey is in sharp focus as a pop my defense of her was really an extension music innovator and gay icon in some of me defending myself as a queer person? of the best-written commentary on her I was seeing parts of my own story on artistry and what she means to queer fans, these pages, told by someone else who, thanks to writer Andrew Chan’s remarkably at one point, also needed, as he puts it, “a studied new book “Why Mariah Carey glamorous, hetero-feminine idol.” Matters.” The book plumbs the depths of Mariah’s voice, songwriting and production When I wrote my essay on Mariah for savviness since making her debut in 1990. The New York Times, I was having this moment where I was craving the comfort Chan, who wrote about her previously for of home during the first year of the NPR, writes with a window into his own pandemic. When that need kicks in, I deeply personal devotion to Carey as a gay find that feeling in so many of the Mariah Chinese-American man. In the 1990s, when songs that have been healing since I was Chan was first drawn to her, his connection an adolescent, so “Through the Rain,” to her music was “intimate and private,” “Hero” and “Can’t Take That Away.” For he writes just a few pages into the book. you, at what point during the pandemic Here, Chan is summarizing his feelings did you realize that you needed to write on “Outside,” a song revered by many of this book for yourself? Mariah’s queer lambs, her name for her most loyal fans, for understanding that once It was after the NPR piece, and there was an outcast, always an outcast. kind of just an itch. I think there’s a deeper reason, but I think the more superficial “The too-muchness of the vocal was an reason was I was a little bored and I needed accurate description of everything I felt a project. The deeper reason was I knew but couldn’t say,” he writes before adding, that tapping into her as a subject was going “Mariah’s vocals seemed to be saying that to allow me to explore a lot of other themes. the ultimate voice could also be the one As much as this is a tribute specifically to that resonated on the queerest frequency. her and giving her her flowers as an artist, The most beloved voice could be the most it also opens out onto bigger subject matter freakish.” that I think will resonate with people who don’t even know her music: the subject of At 40, it’s hard to imagine I don’t already the voice and how we connect with singing fully understand why Mariah matters voices. During the pandemic, I too had that to me — like Chan, my foundation for craving for home, the familiar. I think maybe perseverance, enduring those tough gay there’s not enough writing about what it teen years, was built on her own survival, means to return again and again to the same her own outsiderness. To that end, I wrote music and how that can be profound. how extensive my connection to her music is in an essay for The New York Times in 2020, A song like “Anytime you Need a Friend,” coincidentally around the same time Chan I was just listening to it this morning. I’ve began writing “Why Mariah Carey Matters.” heard that hundreds, thousands of times Few people in my life fully understand how in my life and it pierces my soul every time. deep it goes, exactly. On some level, my That’s such a magical, profound thing. I mother does; after all, she saw me struggle mean, even as I’m talking about it, I’m getting the most as a queer kid, and she saw emotional because I think the pandemic also Mariah’s music keep me afloat throughout revealed something about our fundamental that period of time. needs as human beings and also the cyclical nature of what makes us tick and what hurts And yet, after reading Chan’s careful us, and those wounds from early in our lives analysis — in one part, he recognizes how never really go away. she entered Black gay club culture in the 1990s by flipping her hits into house mixes In the book, you examine how many — alongside his own personal introspection, Mariah songs look at adversity and pain as things that can be I found myself catching my breath several emotional life-long struggles. “Outside,” “Close times. Though I didn’t think it possible, I My Eyes,” “Petals” and “Portrait” are felt like I was graduating to the next level all examples of this. For many who are of understanding my own connection to queer, that feeling of being marginalized Mariah. I even called my mom to read her and oppressed doesn’t ever completely some of his best passages — could it be that wane.

That’s something that really sets her apart. From a writing standpoint, I’m wondering Sometimes I get sick of comparing her to how early you started investigating the other major diva singers of the ’90s who Mariah through your writing. we love. I love Whitney; I love Celine. But I think the clarity of Mariah’s worldview, when I actually had never written about her until the it comes to that kind of pain, which is often NPR piece, which really surprised me. I feel why we make music in the first place and like there had been so little serious writing listen to it in the first place, especially as about her, and maybe it was easier for me queer people, we turn to it as a lifeline. She to go to the classic soul people like Aretha gets that on just a really instinctual level. Franklin, Marvin Gaye and Otis Redding. Mariah was a gateway to that music for me. I What is so moving about “Outside,” “Petals” don’t think I would really know or care about and “Close My Eyes” is that they’re very that music without having first heard the specific songs. They’re written from inside influence of those singers in her. the particularities of her experience as a mixed-race woman, as someone who had But yeah, I think in those pieces I was the family dysfunction that she had. To me, working up to, I was preparing to write this what’s kind of most moving and miraculous subconsciously. And when I started writing about our relationship to those songs as it, I realized that actually there’s no other queer listeners is that she doesn’t identify artist I could have written a book about as queer and you can’t really conflate the like this. I mean, there’s so many books on experience of being mixed race with being Aretha Franklin. I needed to find an artist for queer. They are two very different things, and whom there was a void in the writing, and yet she’s speaking to us across this great I needed to feel like there was something divide, and we’re finding a commonality unique about what I could bring to the table there that we’re connecting with, which was in terms of how I listened to her music. So I so important at a time when there were so think there’s no one else that I could have few images of us in the media. The fact that done this with for a first book. I could connect with her songs at such a young age and not even really know what After reading your book, I’m listening she was talking about in terms of the mixed- to her music with fresh ears, newly race themes of those songs — even if you appreciating, for example, the layered set aside the words, I could feel in her voice complexities and the harmonies on the that she knew something about what I was “Butterfly” album. feeling. I am kind of adamant that this is very much a I really moved through life like Mariah work of criticism, and that’s what’s different did in some ways. Her triumphs over about what I’ve written and other books that adversity became my mantra for my own have been published on her before that are hardships. more celebrity profiles. And criticism, I want to emphasize with people who maybe don’t It’s interesting because we don’t personally read it a lot that this is the point of it — the know her, but we don’t have to. I mean, I writer writes it in order to hear something that am kind of wary of stardom in a way. I think they have maybe heard hundreds of times there’s something really toxic about fame, anew. Because through the writing, you’re and so part of me, as a critic, is scared to creating a new encounter, and then with the touch that. My comfort zone is listening and sharing with the reader, you’re multiplying it, really getting deep into the sound and the and you’re able to hear these songs that are aesthetics of the music, but you can’t deny so ingrained in you, almost like for the first that the reason we’re able to connect with time. So, for me, the experience of writing is her in that way over the decades is because almost, at times, less about the writing and of the machinery of stardom. And I think just about the listening that is required to do there’s something really deep and intimate the writing. I want to be able to hear deeply being shared, even with the whole corporate again. structure of how stars are made. It is kind of magical how something really human can be I wanted to talk about Mariah’s most transmitted even through the veils and the prolific period of dance remixes, which smoke and mirrors of the star machinery. was the 1990s. What I didn’t fully consider until I read your book was how she was creating these remixes because it was

the music authentic to her as a person This is what’s kind of interesting to me, and and artist, whereas her ex-husband and I don’t really say this, maybe I should have label head Tommy Mottola controlled said this in the book, but I do focus a lot on me the sound of her earliest albums. But experiencing her from the outside of her own those mixes, many of which were house experience. She’s a Black woman, a mixedmusic played in gay clubs, ended up race woman; I’m this Chinese-American reaching the queer community almost gay man, and so I don’t really belong to exclusively. I don’t know how much she the specificity of her world. But, also, she is even knows that or how aware she is that creating in our world too, as someone who’s what she was creating was being played not queer, but making music, incredible in those clubs. music in kind of a Considering queer idiom. And that connection, so it’s almost like do you think this becomes this that Mariah was common ground as aware of for us to meet at. herself being a Not to say that gay icon then as divas hadn’t been she is now? singing on house tracks forever. I am guessing it Black women are was a gradual pioneers of house awareness. I music. But I think mean, she even the specificity of says in the the address in memoir that she those remixes is didn’t even know really powerful, how many fans and it’s kind of she had or how exciting to know famous she was that she found until “Music Box” this freedom in [in 1993]. You that format, in that can take that with genre. a grain of salt, but I think she’s In the book, probably being you write, “By sincere in that she sticking up for was so cocooned our beloved and famous, so diva, are we I’m sure such a trying to protect weird experience something from that you kind of our childhoods dissociate. I’m — something not sure she that feels even really knew what more precious to make of her for having been relationship with at times as her listeners, let alone a segment of her uncool as we ourselves may have once listeners, the LGBT audience. But I think been?” This passage hit me hard. I hadn’t she had to have known that house music thought about my connection to her on was creating a connection, that releasing that level, exactly. this kind of really attentively, carefully, passionately made house music was going Just as we need to remember being in to foster a relationship with this particular the closet and the shame and the fear we community. And also you have David Cole experienced in it, memories of how uncool as this really key collaborator, a gay man. Mariah was at that time if we were part of So I think she couldn’t have been completely that generation are tied up in that because unaware of it. she became such a signifier, especially if you were a cis, male, gay child and you were closeted and you didn’t want to be found out.

Admitting that you love Mariah’s music was rhetoric of queer positivity, which has its going to be the tip-off. Now a lot of people place, and I’m not knocking it just to be a are jumping on the bandwagon and they’re contrarian, but I think we’ve gotten to a more than welcome because it’s a big tent point where Pride has been co-opted by [laughs], but we remember a time when she corporations, and it’s been mainstreamed was uncool and uncool had a lot to do with in this way that I fear sometimes that we’ve homophobia toward her fan base as well as forgotten what it meant to really be in the misogyny and racism toward her. closet and the shame, and what that did to our spirits and the after-effects of that over I wrote this with lambs and people like me in years and years. Even as our lives go on, mind, but I was also thinking about friends of we flourish and thrive. Where’s the space for mine who come from a completely different that conversation? experience, and sometimes I think this is common in friendships between straight Songs like “Outside” and “Close My Eyes” men and queer men: As much love as there and the memories of experiencing them can be in those friendships, it can feel like when we were kids, at least I can speak there’s such a wide chasm culturally and for myself, bring me back to that time. And emotionally in the way we express ourselves I don’t want to fetishize the trauma and the that is so hard to communicate across. I do pain. I’m just saying that the after-effects think this is a way of offering something of exist, and listening to the music is a way to my interior life to friends of mine who don’t re-encounter and find a way to face a lot of share this experience, and even though this things that, for myself, because I knew I was book is not my memoir and it’s pretty minimal queer from a very young age, never really about the personal stuff, it’s about how I got processed or reconciled. So the music is listen. Implicitly, I’m saying I’m listening to a framework in which to do that. this as a gay Chinese-American man, and I have been really moved by their response Chris Azzopardi is the Editorial Director of to the book. Pride Source Media Group and Q Syndicate, the national LGBTQ+ wire service. He has Representation was so different in the ’90s interviewed a multitude of superstars, for LGBTQ+ people who were growing including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey up. We didn’t have a lot of examples of and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared what it looked like to feel and be different, in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and that we could be OK despite our and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @ differences. How do you think queer chrisazzopardi. people of this current generation will feel the impact differently of what we got to experience in the moment with songs “Outside” or “Close My Eyes,” or these remixes, and what Mariah represented to us then? I think this is such a great question, and I am always constantly thinking about this intergenerational aspect of queer life, because even as I say in that chapter on house, I was a little too young to really be engaging with house music in the ’90s like that. So I am almost experiencing those remixes as a portal to an earlier era of queer culture that I don’t have access to. I am also wondering what this music will mean to young queer people now. But I think as far as we’ve come, we also know how much homophobia and transphobia exists today, particularly with the really violent backlash against trans people in recent years. I think what I was trying to convey with the book, when I was saying that I see her almost as an antidote to the “it gets better”

Author Andrew Chan

5 Best Weekend Getaways

By Mikkel Hyldebrandt

As the leaves turn vibrant shades of red and gold and the temperatures begin to dip, there’s no better time to plan a cozy autumn escape from the hustle and bustle of Atlanta. Fall is a magical season in Georgia, and here are five fantastic weekend getaway options that offer a perfect blend of sights, accommodations, and that special autumn charm.

Blue Ridge A Mountain Retreat Nestled in the North Georgia mountains, Blue Ridge is a picturesque town that comes alive with fall foliage. Take a scenic drive along the Blue Ridge Parkway, hike the stunning trails of the Chattahoochee National Forest, or embark on a relaxing train ride on the Blue Ridge Scenic Railway. Blue Ridge offers an array of cozy cabins and cottages, allowing you to experience the true essence of a mountain retreat. Enjoy a hot tub soak with mountain views or gather around a crackling firepit.

celebrations. The Chattahoochee River offers tubing adventures amidst the stunning fall foliage.Stay in Alpine-style chalets or cabins surrounded by nature, giving you the feel of a European getaway. Enjoy mountain views and easy access to local attractions. Helen’s unique atmosphere and fall festivals create a festive getaway, allowing you to experience a touch of Germany without leaving Georgia.

Athens A College Town’s Culture

Blue Ridge captures the essence of fall with its stunning natural beauty and the opportunity to immerse yourself in the great outdoors while staying in charming accommodations.

Athens is not just a college town; it’s a vibrant cultural hub with a thriving arts scene. Explore the historic campus of the University of Georgia, visit the Georgia Museum of Art, and take a walk through the State Botanical Garden.

Savannah Historic Charm by the Coast

Athens offers a variety of boutique hotels and charming bed-and-breakfasts, allowing you to immerse yourself in the town’s artsy and historic ambiance.

Savannah’s historic district is a dreamy destination any time of year, but fall adds a layer of magic to its cobblestone streets and oak-lined squares. Take a leisurely stroll through Forsyth Park, tour historic homes, and savor fresh seafood at River Street restaurants. Choose from elegant historic inns or boutique hotels that offer southern hospitality at its finest. Many accommodations feature charming courtyards and verandas where you can enjoy the mild fall weather. Savannah’s romantic ambiance, rich history, and coastal charm make it an ideal fall weekend getaway for couples or anyone seeking a taste of Southern culture.

Helen A Bavarian Escape Helen transforms into a Bavarian-inspired village during the fall season. Explore its charming streets, adorned with colorful fall decorations, and indulge in Oktoberfest

Athens provides a unique blend of culture and relaxation. Enjoy crisp fall days exploring the town’s cultural offerings, followed by evenings in cozy accommodations.

Dahlonega Wine Country Retreat Dahlonega is Georgia’s wine country, and fall is an ideal time to visit its vineyards and wineries. Take a wine tour, sample local vintages, and enjoy the stunning vineyard views amidst autumn colors. Dahlonega offers charming inns and lodges with a rustic feel. Wake up to breathtaking mountain and vineyard vistas. Dahlonega’s combination of wine tasting, natural beauty, and cozy accommodations make it a delightful fall weekend escape for wine enthusiasts and couples.

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VISIT A FOREIGN COUNTRY WITHOUT LEAVING THE U.S. Everyone Welcome in Historic San Juan By Bill Malcolm* Beaches, great food, a friendly wel- tel which sits right on the beach. The coming culture, and lots to see and Miramar neighborhood includes the do in a city founded five hundred Dan Rafa Boutique Hotel (601 Avenida years ago make San Juan, Puerto Rico Miramar) which has a nice bar in the perfect for a holiday. Best of all, it’s so lobby and is in a cute neighborhood easy: no passport needed, your phone with a lot of shops. The Fairmont in Isle and phone plan work, and everyone Verde near the airport also features a speaks English as well as Spanish. Did casino, several pools, and a fun bar. Be I mention the good coffee and rum? sure and be on the lookout for about resort fees and other sneaky junk I was in town for the 40th Anniversary charges (aka destination fees, propConvention of the IGBTQ+ Travel Asso- erty fees, etc.). They vary widely but ciation along with almost seven hun- many hotels now have them and not dred other travel professionals. Among just here. the many panels, one discussed how to make the other Caribbean islands WHAT TO DO as welcoming to the LGBTQ+ community in Puerto Rico. Details at iglta.org. San Juan is a city of historic, interesting, and colorful safe neighborhoods and I explored many of them. The GETTING THERE Condado neighborhood is right on the I took Southwest to San Juan (SJU) via beach and has interesting shops and Fort Lauderdale on the way there and many higher end hotels. The beach is Orlando on the way back. I paid just beautiful and features a gay section $317 round trip from Indianapolis and (Atlantic Beach). You can rent chairs hopped on an earlier flight on the way right on the beach. Plan on a day at back thanks to their new free stand by the beach. policy. Spirit and Jet Blue are also extremely popular choices to get to the The nearby Santurce neighborhood is up and coming. Stoll down Calle Loiza island. for the most popular cafes, galleries, and murals. The Santurce Mercardo is WHERE TO STAY a farmer’s market in this up and comI stayed at the Coqui Del Mar Guest ing arts district of Santtucre which is House in Ocean Beach (2218 Calle known for a lot of murals. Buy a Puerto General Del Valle). The lodge features Rican hat at the hat store. a great cooked to order breakfast with a side of fresh local fruit (and fresh Old San Juan is the highlight of my tropical juices),as well as Puerto Rican entire trip and focuses on this area founded in 1508 by Ponce de Leon. I coffee which is quite strong. A pool and hot tub, free use of sever- took a walking tour of the gay monual bicycles also makes for a great vis- ments of Puerto Rico Gay Tours (www. it. On weekends they serve brunch PuertoRicoGayTours.com) which fowhich was home made paella the Sat- cused on historic Old San Juan. urday I was there They offer tours of Old Town as well as of the Yonqui rain You will also want to visit Fort Morro forest You can walk or bike to nearby (Castillo San Felipe del Morro) in Old Ocean Beach. Details at coquidelmar. San Juan now run by the National Park com. The property also has VRBO rent- Service. Built in 1539 by the Spaniards to fortify San Juan, they needed the als nearby. Island for supplies for ships en route Other lodging options include the to the America’s from Europe and Afchain hotels in the Condado district rica. El Morro was built to protect San including the LGBTQ friendly Tryst Ho- Juan Bay’s deep harbor from attack by

the sea and sits at the end of the city lots of local spices. which also had a wall built around it. The Spaniards ruled until 1898 when For a splurge, Marmalade Restaurant Puerto Rico became a U.S. Territory. in Old San Juan features fourteen course meals . The beef tenderloin The Distrito T Mobile near the Conven- was excellent. Nearby I also had a rum tion Center is the new entertainment cocktail at La Factoria (148 Calle San and dining destination. They had La Sebastian). Bamba dancers at the opening night of ILGLTA when I was there. (LaBamba While in Puerto Rico, enjoy the local is a dance native to Puerto Rico.) fruits (mango, papaya, pineapple, coconut). The bread is particularly good. Rio Piedras is another neighborhood Rice and beans are a staple. Many to visit. I took the Tren Urbano (metro restaurants also feature paella (the or subway) to the Rio Piedras neigh- Spanish rice dish with seafood and borhood for lunch at the Plaza del vegetables). Expect alof of Island spicMercardo (farmers market) and had a es including cilantro in many dishes. fresh juice smoothie (papaya, guava, pineapple, coconut) and a meat roll Bacardi makes rum right on the Isfrom the Dominican Republic. A local land and the Pina Collada was inventband played while a dancer accompa- ed here. Rum is produced from sugar nied them at the Plaza. cane which is produced on the island. Nearby is the beautiful University of For a snack, try the local candies like Puerto Rico campus which features the coconut ginger bar. Spanish architecture and lots of tropical trees. The Spanish architecture reTRAVEL TIPS minded me of the Stanford University Campus in California. This is a Spanish speaking island although most people also know EnI then took the Train (Tren Urbano) glish. Street signs are in Spanish. They out to the last station, Bayamon, and use the metric system (gas is $1.00 a walked around this historic suburban liter) but the speed limits are in miles city which is over 250 years old. Have per hour. something to eat or drink at the food trucks which are parked in shipping Skip the rent a car and take Uber. It’s containers. There are two small mu- fast and cheap. seums in the small suburban village which is very walkable. The train sys- Although it sometimes does not feel tem is safe, modern and graffiti free. like it, you are in the U.S. Which is why Take an Uber to the Sagrado Corazon I liked to ‘Live Boricua” (live Puerto Ristation to catch it as it does not run can) referring to the spirit, flavor, and into the popular neighborhoods nor rhythm you will feel in every part of the airport, convention center, nor Old the island. The locals are a proud and Town. Day passes are just $5. It is a per- happy people living on a wonderful fect way to explore the area. island. This was my first visit to the commonwealth, but it won’t be my last. This is an easy to visit,LGBTQ+ welNIGHTLIFE coming tropical paradise that has not San Juan has the best nightlife in the been over-run with tourists like Puerto Caribbean. Tia Maria’s in the Santurce Vallarta and other destinations have. neighborhood is a lot of fun and features a friendly local crowd. Oasis is The Discover Puerto Rico website feaclose to the gay beach in the Conda- tures a LGBTQ section full of travel tips do neighborhood right on the beach. including nightlife ideas. Head to La Placita, the Santruce fruit market by days but is packed on You owe it to yourself to visit, especialweekends. The Circo Bar is popular as ly given you don’t need a passport and is Kweens Klub with its huge dance the airfares are so cheap. Live Boricua! floor. *Bill Malcolm is North America’s only WHERE AND WHAT TO EAT syndicated LGBTQ+ value travel columnist. Lots of food options with interesting dishes define this city The food uses

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