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Black Trans Activist Raquel Willis on Why Stories Like Hers Need to Be Heard ‘The Risk It Takes to Bloom’ author on living a life of ‘discomfort’ and how she hopes to change that for others By Sarah Bricker Hunt
When Raquel Willis took the stage at the National Women’s March in Washington, We’re living in a time of anti-trans D.C. the day after Trump’s inauguration discrimination, where being known makes us in January 2017, with beaming defiance a target. I think many in the trans community and fierce resolve, she didn’t sidestep want to be seen, but I think at this time, it’s the controversial way trans women had also at what cost? What are we willing to been sidelined from the planning of the give up? What kind of risk, speaking to the momentous occasion. “Although I’m glad to title of the book, are we willing to take to be be here now, it’s disheartening that women seen or to be heard? like me were an afterthought in the initial planning of this march,” she remarked. We often have these kind of black and white “Many of us had to stand a little taller to be ideas about which spaces are conservative heard, and that exclusion is nothing new.” and which spaces are progressive. And one Willis has yet to let up the pressure on trans- thing that you will quickly realize, if you’re exclusionary spaces and people since that on the margins within the margins, is that cold winter day almost seven years ago. The some of the spaces that we think may be Augusta, Georgia native details her life story the most progressive also have systems of and her ceaseless passion for advocacy in oppression. a candid new memoir, “The Risk It Takes to Bloom,” out now. Raised Catholic in a You touched on this in your speech at the Black Southern family, Willis explains how Women’s March, before it was cut short. the death of her father when she was 19 contributed to years of grief, and ultimately, Yes, this was seen as this kind of tent-pole epiphanies about what she was meant to do feminist moment, but what did that mean with her life — how she began to truly bloom for me as someone expecting that space to as a whole person. value my transness, to value my queerness in the same way that it was valuing this kind Willis worked as a journalist during the early of feminist element of my activism? part of the Black Lives Matter movement, hiding her identity while working as a news And then later, for instance, I write about reporter. Over time, she would publicly working at the Transgender Law Center. come out as transgender and become a Working at this nonprofit that in many ways powerful advocate. She served as director was the Holy Grail of where you would want of communications for the Ms. Foundation to work as an empowered trans person. for Women; as executive editor of Out But again, still dealing with systems of magazine, where she started the award- oppression around anti-Blackness or winning Trans Obituaries Project, and as dealing with misogynoir and maybe not a national organizer for the Transgender hearing or maybe not experiencing being Law Center. She writes about the reality heard because of how hierarchy, and even of working in those “lofty” positions as a capitalism, still kind of rips apart these Black trans woman — experiences she progressive spaces on the margins at Out says cast light on how progressive spaces magazine. can still contain systems of oppression. Willis is currently an executive producer for I don’t think that we have enough stories iHeartMedia’s LGBTQ+ Outspoken Podcast where it’s a Black trans woman talking about Network. her experience with her career, navigating the workplace in this way and also trying The activist recently discussed the new to maintain her values and dignity in those book, her continued advocacy and her places. I also think about so many of the thoughts about the current state of trans folks who had their first major social justice discrimination. awakening during that summer of 2020 in the aftermath of the murders of George You write about your advocacy work Floyd or Breonna Taylor and so many others. during a pivotal time, where you started We’re in this time where we’re holding all of down this path during the Obama era, these truths and yearnings and desires and and then along came Trump and an embodiments at once. abrupt anti-LGBTQ+ shift, politically and socially. It’s hard to understand that your perspective may just be one perspective. Usually, it’s I would say things have certainly required just one perspective and not the only one, us to have a bit more grace and nuance. and unfortunately, no matter how we come And I don’t necessarily mean that for our to our perspective, we still have to reckon political figures — they are who they are; with the fact that there are any number of that is what that is. But I think living through them out there, especially if we’re trying the Trump era and being in the space where to work with others to create some kind of we are now, there’s a lot of grace that I’ve pathway to collective liberation. had to have for myself around being able to hold those things that I have anxieties or No one wants to feel uncomfortable, but insecurities about and then also being able sometimes that’s what it takes, basically? to kind of push forward and also draw on my power. I think so much of the experience of folks on
the margins is about that discomfort around very similar ones. This dude over here has being a trans person. My whole life has some anxieties, the straight person and the been about discomfort and not necessarily cisgender person. We have opportunities in the way that I think the average person for connection by naming the insecurities, may think. the anxieties and the awkwardnesses that exists, so we can be on the same page. So many folks paint the experience of being non-conforming or queer as some Are you noticing upcoming generations kind of internal discomfort. It’s often, in and their parents embracing topics like my experience, not been so much about gender diversity and intersectionality? that internal discomfort. I think I’ve always had a feeling that I will be able to tease out It’s so interesting for me to see more and whatever’s happening internally in due time more parents who have young trans or if I’m given the space and grace to, but it’s nonconforming or queer or nonbinary that external discomfort that has often eaten people in their lives. And it’s a beautiful up so much of my energy. thing that these shifts are happening, which is exactly why we see such dogged political I dealt with peers at a young age who attacks in this moment. didn’t understand why I was so feminine or the discomfort externally that I felt for my One of the throughlines for me and my dad, who didn’t understand who I was in activism work has been paying close so many different ways, or the discomfort I attention to deaths that have happened, felt working, or when I was a student at the particularly in the trans community, and University of Georgia. Luckily, I found some trying to turn the feelings those moments LGBTQ+ community there, but I was still have elicited into activation. It was the a Black student at a predominantly white suicide of 17-year-old Leelah Alcorn back institution and I was still the only openly in 2015 that really inspired me to speak up trans woman student in that context in publicly for the first time about my transness 2012, 2013. because in my first role as a newspaper reporter in small-town Georgia, I was in So it’s that discomfort in those spaces or the closet as a trans woman. I was not out the discomfort of going to Out magazine professionally, and that was out of fear of and being the first trans woman to hold a losing my chance at a livelihood or a chance leadership position at that publication. It has at starting a career. been a series of discomforts in this life of mine, but I think what I’ve learned from that And so when I was in my second job in is that those are opportunities to evolve not Atlanta, Leelah’s death really pushed me to only for me but for the environment to evolve speak up, and I made this YouTube video, for the folks around me who are invested in just talking about how it had impacted me. something tangible and different. [After the BBC picked up the story], I had to come out to my co-workers, and luckily Have you ever needed to I was in a workplace that found that to be compartmentalize some of this external an empowering thing for me to do, but that pressure where people are constantly was a shift. pointing out that you’re the first “this” or “that” when you’re really just trying to do You went on to focus much of your your job some days? activism on the issue of violence against trans women of color. Why did you start I think at this point in my career, it can the Trans Obituaries Project? be comforting to understand the history, particularly trans history, and to know that The Trans Obituaries project that I created in there have been others who came before Out magazine was an opportunity for me to me. Maybe not exactly the same with the not only talk about this epidemic of violence exact same credentials, but there have but to also bring in a more investigative been trans storytellers before me. There element like delving into the story of a have been trans folks trying to carve out 27-year-old Afro-Latina woman who died a space in media before me. And so I can in Riker’s custody named Layleen Polanco take comfort in knowing that wittingly or in 2019. Her story brought a different unwittingly, they did leave some bit of a dynamic around someone who died in state broken pathway for me. custody and who was a sex worker who dealt with mental illness, who had epilepsy My hope is that whatever space I enter, I am and was in ballroom culture in the House of carving out a container for the next folks to Extravaganza. And so, she had all of these not have to check off as many boxes. My elements related to her whole life. I think hope is to make it smoother for the next that’s been at the heart of talking about this people. But also, everyone is carrying some epidemic of violence for me — to get folks kind of anxiety. It may seem more obvious to remember that these people lived before about what mine may be, as a Black trans they were taken. woman, but it doesn’t do me any favors to forget that this white woman next to me has I think we all kind of carry the lives of folks some anxieties, too, and probably some who have been taken, whether we were
related to them, whether they were just in our community, or whether they shared some element of our identity or our experience. And I do feel like we have the opportunity to not just wallow in the grief and the mourning but to actually use whatever lane we’re in to try and make things better so that doesn’t happen again. If you’re in storytelling, you have the opportunity to uncover those stories or the dynamics that make those stories occur. If we’re talking about education, you’re in the educational system. You have to find a way to make sure that students don’t feel the isolation that maybe someone like Leelah felt. There’s so many opportunities here for that radical change. But we have to be endlessly curious and endlessly creative about how we can make those radical changes in our lives. Sarah Bricker Hunt, a proud Eastern Michigan University alum and the managing editor for Pride Source/Between The Lines, believes in the power of intentional journalism focused on people building their communities through everyday acts of love and service.
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Counting Down: Top 10 Nude Scenes in 2023 By Charlie Rocafort
Man-on-man intimacy was on full display on television and film in 2023 with Hollywood upping the ante on how far they will go to shock viewers. “When we first kicked off our Top Ten Nude Scenes of The Year ten years ago, we could never have dreamed that mainstream celebrities like Ben Whishaw and Jonathan Bailey would engage in such intense gay sexual scenes or that a romantic comedy like Red, White, & Royal Blue would be so raunchy, or that a series like Elite would simply exist,” says Jack Davis of Mr. Man, the world’s leading online library of every male nude scene in the history of film and television. Each year, Mr. Man presents the Manatomy Awards: the only award ceremony to recognize the past year’s naked male achievements in entertainment. Here are the top ten scenes for 2023. The full uncensored videos can all be viewed on MrMan.com. Uncensored videos of all ten scenes can be viewed now at mrman.com/top10-of-the-year-2023
#10 | Taylor Zakhar Perez, Nicholas Galitzine in Red, White & Royal Blue The pressure was on when Amazon Prime announced it was bringing this beloved gay romance novel to the small screen. Rising star Taylor Zakhar Perez perfectly embodies the president’s son, while 2023 breakout star Nicholas Galitzine plays the prince of England. In the movie’s hottest scene, Perez teaches Galitzine the gay ropes in bed, and Galitzine proves to be a quick study. #9 | Jack Armstrong in Patterns The LGBT British series Patterns made a splash online for its incredible nudity. Jack Armstrong takes the cake here, flaunting his breathtaking jock body in multiple scenes. Movie fans will not want to miss his shower scene, where he turns around to give viewers a peek at every inch of his bod.
#8 | Mauro da Costa, João Villas-Boas, João Caçador, João Reis Moreira in Will-o’-the-Wisp Will-o’-the-Wisp is one of the many explicit gay films released in 2023. Portuguese film provocateur João Pedro Rodrigues delivers a sweeping narrative of a king looking back on the gay experiences of his youth, namely his time as a firefighter that included some eye-popping homoerotic firehouse fantasies. #7 | Taylor Byron Barr, Eric Brody in Minx After an iconic first season, the retro porn series had a lot to live up to in season two. Taylor Byron Barr and Eric Brody were up for the challenge. They flaunt their rippling abs and a whole lot more while tied up to railroad tracks during a porn photoshoot.
#6 | Mauricio Hénao, Julián Cerati in Fake Profile No one does a gratuitous Spanish-language drama like Netflix. This scandalous Columbian series is about a woman who moves in next door to a man who catfished her in order to torment him. Same girl. A recent trend in these sorts of shows is to round out the straight sex scenes with some gay action, and Julián Cerati helps Fake Profile meet its queer quota. #5 | André Lamoglia, Fernando Lindez in Elite Much like the men it features, Elite just keeps topping itself. Anyone fearing that Manu Ríos’s departure spelled trouble for this gay teens-gone-wild series can breathe a sigh of relief, because André Lamoglia and Fernando Lindez are here to pick up the slack. Lindez plays Omar Ayuso’s lover who falls for Lamoglia after delivering pizza to his house. #4 | Jordan Firstman, Sebastián Silva, Ricco Diamanti in Rotting in the Sun Rotting In the Sun is one of the three X-rated gay movies that defined 2023. Sun takes viewers to a gay hookup resort, where fully naked men have real sex on the beach. Real-life comedian Jordan Firstman finds himself surrounded by studs, all ready and willing. #3 | Josh Lavery, Daniel Gabriel, Vincent Andriano in Lonesome Real-life out exhibitionist Josh Lavery loves showing off his incredible body on his Instagram, but he takes his sex positivity to the extreme with his critically acclaimed performance in this film about a small town Australian man cruising for men in the big city.
#2 | Matt Bomer, David Tomlinson in Fellow Travelers 2023 has been the best year yet for gay representation in movies and television. Before hooking up with Jonathan Bailey in the historical romance Fellow Travelers, Matt Bomer gets aggressive with David Tomlinson in this exciting historical drama series.
#1 | Ben Whishaw, Franz Rogowski in Passages This erotic movie made headlines before even being released, when director Ira Sachs rejected the MPAA’s NC-17 rating, calling it homophobic and “...a form of cultural censorship that is quite dangerous.” Out actor Ben Whishaw shines in this film that exemplifies his dedication to bringing gay male sexuality to big and small screens.
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Navigating the Holiday Edited by Mikkel Hyldebrandt
Ah, the holidays—a time for joy, merriment, and, let’s Laughter is your shield, my friend, and it keeps the be real, navigating through the landmines of family intrusive questions at bay. gatherings. For LGBTQ+ individuals, the Christmas season can come with its own set of challenges. Fear Hookup Apps and Holiday Cheer not, dear festive friend, as we embark on a jolly journey ‘Tis the season to be jolly, but what about when you’re to make your family time a tad merrier, a smidge jolly on hookup apps? Navigating the sea of profiles queerer, and a whole lot less awkward. while surrounded by tinsel and carolers can be tricky. If you’re inclined to swipe right, remember to be discreet Deck the Halls with Boundaries and considerate. Perhaps opt for a silent night of Before diving headfirst into the swiping when the family is snug in their beds. After all, mistletoe madness, set some a festive fling doesn’t have to be broadcasted during boundaries. This isn’t a declaration the Christmas morning unwrapping extravaganza. of war; it’s just a friendly reminder that Aunt Mildred doesn’t need Making an Exit the latest gossip on your Sometimes, the merriment gets a bit much, and dating life. Politely deflect any you find yourself daydreaming about a silent night intrusive inquiries and steer the elsewhere. It’s perfectly acceptable to know your limits conversation toward neutral and gracefully bow out when needed. An exit strategy territories, like the weather can be as simple as blaming an early work meeting, or the captivating world of claiming you have to check on your imaginary pet rock, fruitcake. or, if all else fails, faking a sudden and intense craving for gingerbread cookies. Remember, discretion is the ‘Tis the Season of better part of valor. Awkward Questions: Oh, the classic inquiries about Mending Fences and Spreading Cheer: your dating and sex life— While the holidays can bring a fair share of awkward the grand tradition of family moments, they also provide a unique opportunity gatherings. Embrace your to mend a few fences and sprinkle a little goodwill. inner comedian and respond Sometimes, a cozy chat over a hot cocoa toddy can with a splash of humor. When do wonders to bridge gaps and foster understanding. Uncle Bob asks, “Are you Remember, family dynamics, much like holiday seeing anyone special?” sweaters, can be a bit awkward, but they hold a certain reply with, “Why, yes! warmth if worn with love. Netflix has been my most committed In the grand tapestry of holiday chaos, it’s essential to partner this find moments of joy, even if they come disguised as y e a r . ” glittery family gatherings. Embrace the quirks, laugh at the awkwardness, and relish the chance to be with those who, despite their questioning glances, care about you. So, don your gay apparel, toss some glitter in the air, and let the holidays be a time to celebrate not just the season but also the unique rainbow that is you.
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If anyone is Christmas shopping for me I’m a size window seat in plane tickets. Why drive 10 minutes for food when I can DoorDash for $900? Wait! We have to go back to pound town. I forgot my purse. Before I agree to 2024, I want to see the terms and conditions. Anyone want to grab a spoon and help me? I think it is time to stir the pot. I have the worst taste in men. If I ever liked you, you probably need to work on yourself. Forget about flowers. Buy me three different beverages, and I'm in love.
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