SUMMER IS
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CONTENTS JULY 17, 2019
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From the Editor The summer is turning out to be a HOT one, but don’t expect the upcoming Joining Hearts CELEBRATE pool party to cool you off, because the main event attracts the hottest, speedoclad summer bodies from all over along with a superstar lineup of DJs to keep you dancing. In fact, the entire weekend is dedicated to partying with a purpose with an impressive lineup of parties that all raise funds for the vital work Joining Hearts does. I spoke to Joining Hearts President, Jerry Henderson, about the significance and magnitude of this event, and why you should do everything in your power to be there. And as if this issue isn’t hot enough, we have an exclusive interview with none other than Robyn, who talks about her ‘pure bond’ with LGBTQ fans, doing drag, and her queer culture connections. It is a particularly great interview,a and perhaps the most perfect recovery reading after a massive Joining Hearts weekend. That and so much more in this issue of Peach – and I’ll see you at the pool party! Mikkel Hyldebrandt Editorial Director
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The content of Peach ATL Media is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice. The opinions expressed by any writer, advertiser, or other person appearing in the Peach ATL Media are not necessarily those of this publication, its management or staff. The information and materials appearing in the magazine are not guaranteed or warranted as to accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness, or suitability of the information and materials found or offered for a particular purpose. It shall be your responsibility to ensure that any products, services, or information available through Peach ATL Media meets your specific requirements. Peach ATL Media is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, content of information, changes, events, and schedules. The magazine contains information and material which is owned by or licensed to Peach ATL Media, including but not limited to articles, advertisements, design, layout, graphics, and logos. No part or portion of Peach ATL Media may be reproduced in any way without the prior written consent of the publisher. Unauthorized use of Peach ATL Media may give rise to claims for damages and or criminal offenses. Your use of the information or materials in Peach ATL Media is strictly at your own risk.
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By Mikkel Hyldebrandt Photo: Joining Hearts, Sher Pruitt
As the biggest highlight of the summer party schedule as well as Joining Hearts’ largest fundraiser, the this weekend’s pool party in Piedmont Park serves as an ideal party with a purpose. We talked to Joining Hearts President, Jerry Henderson, about the magnitude and importance of the event. Tell us a little about the background of Joining Hearts. Since 1987, Joining Hearts has been raising awareness and funds to support prevention, care, and housing assistance for those living with HIV/AIDS in Atlanta. The organization has truly evolved to ensure that it continues to address the needs of the Atlanta community by expanding its mission to include prevention due to the increased transmission rates in Atlanta where numbers are as high as third world countries. We will be here till there is a cure, and Atlanta experiences low to zero transmission rates as other major cities. The Joining Hearts Main Event – The CELEBRATE Pool Party – is for many the highlight of the summer social calendar. What makes this event so unique? This event is unique as it is our largest fundraiser of the year and it attracts people from across the world to our city to celebrate unity and love that will impact the community in which we all live. We are not just a party; we are a way of life for those who are directly impacted by HIV/ AIDS, and we support them by putting on various events throughout the year. The format of the party this is overall the same, but you still manage to create a unique spin on it every year. What can guests expect at this year’s CELEBRATE main event? The organization spends countless hours, days, and months in preparation for this event. It may be the same, but it’s clear that our focus is to create an event of inclusiveness by engaging people from different socio-economic backgrounds and ethnicities. We strive to ensure our mission is at the forefront to educate our guests in an environment that is safe and fun, promoting the real reason why we do this event. Guests can expect beats by DJ Rick Braile and DJ Andres Vergel with delicious bite prepared to you by Sun In My Belly. We have extended 8 | 07.17.19
our partnership with Tito’s Handmade Vodka so our guests may enjoy the cocktail of choice for Joining Hearts. You get a lot with a general admission ticket, but VIP offers you an even greater experience. Take us through the various ticket tiers, please? In general admission, you enjoy delicious bites and with choice of a vodka cocktail while the VIP experience is much more with a wider selection food offering with an expanded selection of cocktails beyond vodka. Joining Hearts supports the work of local HIV/ AIDS organizations – can you talk about which organization will be the beneficiaries this year? Since 1987, Joining Hearts have donated over $2.5M back into the Atlanta community to various organizations through grants such as AID Atlanta, Jerusalem House, Living Room, Open Hand, Lost and Found Youth, Grady Prep Clinic, etc. to name a few. When our fundraising year ends at the end of the year, we hold our annual check presentations where we distribute checks to those organizations who meet the guidelines that have been set forth under our mission. If you can’t attend the event, how can you otherwise support Joining Hearts? Joining Hearts offers many ways to GET INVOLVED and SUPPORT US by being a volunteer, host, patron, or sponsor for our events in our efforts to raise much-needed funds. It literally takes a village to do the work, which makes significant impacts in our community. More information on how you can GET INVOLVED can be found by visiting our website joininghearts.org and get to know the organization. What’re a good three things you need to remember when going to the CELEBRATE Pool Party? The three pieces of information I want people to remember when going to Joining Hearts 32: CELEBRATE are: 1. Have fun, and celebrate love! 2. Remember the lives that have been lost to HIV/AIDS! 3. End the stigma & support each other through giving!
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MODERN
HORROR
STORIES By Gregg Shapiro Photo: PR
With his second feature-length horror film Us (Universal), now available on Blu-ray + DVD + Digital, writer/director Jordan Peele got 2019 off to a great start. Like Ari Aster (“Hereditary” and “Midsommar”), Peele is redefining and revitalizing a genre that had become somewhat, well, horrifying. Setting the stage in 1986, with an ad for the charity stunt Hands Across America (remember that?) and a mention of the miles of tunnels that exist beneath the continental US, “Us” takes us to the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk amusement park where young Addy (Madison Curry) wanders away from her parents. On the way to the nearby beach, she encounters a man holding a sign that reads “Jeremiah 11:11”, a prescient biblical reference. As a thunderstorm moves in, Addy seeks shelter in the Vision Quest attraction. During a brief power outage, Addy comes face-toface with her double. The resulting trauma leads Addy refusing to speak and her parents taking her to see a therapist. In the present day, Addy (Lupita Nyong’o in an Oscar-worthy performance) is a seemingly welladjusted wife and mother. With husband Gabe (Winston Duke), daughter Zora (Shahadi Wright Joseph) and sassy son Jason (Evan Alex), she embarks on a family vacation. Addy is visibly displeased that the trip includes a trip to Santa Cruz beach. Nevertheless, they go. One of the pleasures of “Us” is the authenticity of the family dynamic. Zora and Jason tease each other lovingly. They roll their eyes when Gabe makes one of his corny dad jokes. Addy is a fiercely over-protective mother, which we see when Jason wanders off at the beach, where they are visiting with friends Kitty (Elisabeth Moss) and Josh (Tim Heidecker), and their obnoxious twin daughters Becca (Cali Sheldon) and Noelle (Lindsey Sheldon). After Jason returns and is reprimanded, Addy says, “Stick with me, I’ll keep you safe.” Nevertheless, Addy remains unsettled, and tells Gabe she wants to leave. She says she doesn’t feel like herself and then tells him the boardwalk story from her childhood. And then the power goes out. Suddenly, there appears to be a family, in matching red jumpsuits, standing in the driveway. Addy calls 911. Gabe confronts them. They advance and break into the house. Once inside, 10 | 07.17.19
it is revealed that they are the doppelgangers of the family. Unfairly dismissed as shadows, they have come to life and are seeking retribution, according to Red (also Nyong’o). Having waited for this day for so long, they are beginning “the untethering” from their human forms. In other words, armed with large scissors, they must kill them. Through a series of wily moves, Addy and her family outwit their doubles. They escape to Kitty and Josh’s house where they discover that the family has already been killed by their shadows. Fortunately, Addy and her family are able to do away with these less intelligent doubles. Taking a moment to regroup, they watch the news where they see that what has happened to them is happening in other places; that the beings in red jumpsuits are carrying out brutal and terrifying attacks, as well as forming a hand-holding chain. With the exception of Red, Addy’s family has disposed of the ones terrorizing their family. In a final (and slightly too long) underground confrontation with Red, featuring a whole bunch of rabbits perhaps left over from “The Favorite”, Addy is given additional insight. This is where “Us” goes on a kind of philosophical bender about bodies and souls, about tethering, about being “born special” and different. Because Peele is careful to pepper his dialogue with humor, he narrowly avoids stepping over the line into woowoo territory. Peele also includes the kind of final twist that would make Brian De Palma jealous. The abundant bonus features included deleted scenes and 8 featurettes. Like Peele’s 2017 directorial debut “Get Out”, the remarkable 2014 Australian horror film “The Babadook” took a tired genre and turned it on its head. Creating terror through suspense instead of ugly violence, writer/director Jennifer Kent raised the bar for other filmmakers working in the field. Due to a perceived queer subtext in the movie, “The Babadook” received a special limited edition (2,500 copies) reissue in rainbow packaging in time for Pride month, as well as in advance of the international gay holiday Halloween.
Peach Rating: “Us” and “The Babadook” = 4.5 peaches
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PTown’s Joe Coffee Fulfilling Your Caffeine & Dating Needs
By Kevin Assam Glenn Siegmund is a Webster, MA native and former CIO and IT professional with over thirty years of experience. Just why has he recently acquired Joe Coffee in Provincetown with longtime friends Mark Shaw and Peter McBrien? Is it an elaborate ploy to improve his dating prospects or are they teaming up to bring the most addictive year-round coffee experience to the Cape? Let’s find out between his manic shifts. Three queers walk into a coffee bar in Provincetown with some time on their hands. What happens next? Oh my god. Ok. They look around to see if there are hotties in line. If so, they start chatting about their adventures the night before just loud enough for the hotties to overhear. The goal is for them to ask questions to engage and give their phone numbers. Similar to a live Grindr app. Do you recall your first queer experience with coffee? I was a huge Janet Jackson fan. She was touting the benefits of coffee enemas and its ability to expel sad cells. I had my first queer date that same night and decided to kill two birds with one stone. I got rid of my sad cells and prepped for my date just in case the chemistry was right. It was euphoric. Although the next time I stuck with drinking it as half and half with added sweetener. It proved messy.
Your nicknames; who bestowed you with thesePhoto: titles? PR We loved Dynasty in its day. Years ago, when I was being demanding over cocktails, Mark said: “OK Alexis,” and Peter burst out laughing. He commented that I was both Glenda and Alexis. As a Gemini, I have a good twin and a bad twin. I snapped back, “Mark you are a fake Fallon — nice and sweet but playing people behind the scenes. And Peter, you are Sammy Jo. Cocktails, cigarettes, and men all night.” I’ve heard Ptown can be depressing if you’re a single gay man who’s already had his bike stolen. Is Joe’s the new playground for meeting a potential partner? Never leave your bike around town with the seat off. It’s certain to be stolen in this gay man’s playground and parked near the dick dock. But, yes! Joe Coffee now has 66 patio seats up from 20–25 in years past. It’s a virtual meat market with no alcohol where you can flash a smile, share a piece of carrot cake, or take a sip of a younger guy or daddy’s latte. It’s the place to go — on Joe’s seaside patio! Grab yourself a new or at least a vacation spouse.
Will your dating life suffer tremendously from Provincetown’s notoriously demanding season work schedule? I hope not. I’ve been single now for a while and am ready to go on a date. Ptown is an interesting place. It’s a vacation destination where people are Who are the three queers behind the recently launched coming to have fun for a week and not fall in love Joe Coffee in Provincetown and how did they get or date. But working on Joe’s patio all day should enough time off from work to pursue this venture? expose me to some hotties. We are Mark, Peter, and Glenn, collectively known as MPG - Miles Per Gallon. Our distinctive small In life is it easier to ask for forgiveness than to get permission? batch locally roasted coffee is sourced from I am usually an ask for permission guy. As are my Indigo Roasters, which is owned by “our sisters” two partners. However, after years of life’s red tape in the community of Northampton. We have been I pick and choose now. I ask myself what really friends for 30 years. Me and Mark retired from requires permission. And what really is ok to try corporate America where we were IT leaders. We first and then see what happens. Sometimes I are the same age but four days apart. Peter is have to ask for forgiveness. the youngest and still works at a large insurance company as a VP. He supports our Rose Kennedy www.JoeCoffeePtown.com and vaping habits. 12 | 07.17.19
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By Chris Azzopardi Photo: Heji Shin, Chantal Anderson
If you’re not a Robyn fan, you’re not gay. Or so they say. I told Robyn about this POV from the gay Twitter collective when I called her direct on Skype recently – it was remarkably human of the pop goddess to answer, with no publicist listening in – and with a titter she said: “Well, that particular, uh, viewpoint is maybe a little extreme, in my mind.” In non-Robyn minds, of course, that hyperbolic reach illustrates the electro dance queen’s embedded place in queer culture, explicable underneath strobe lights inside a queer club where her shimmering dancepop anthems register as euphoric elation and communal catharsis. Same goes for a Robyn concert, perhaps the closest thing to a gay nightclub that’s not an actual gay nightclub. Or on a New York City subway platform after a Robyn concert, which happened in March when a passel of devotees convened while waiting for the E train, exuberantly belting out “Dancing On My Own,” a diverse chorus of voices joined together by shared human emotions. We, the misfits, move with her and are moved by her in the quiet solitude of our private sanctuaries (the bedroom) too, the lights down low, hearts broken but not beyond healing – Robyn’s music at its emotional, queer-relatable core.
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“Ever Again” is the latest video release from Honey, her first solo full-length in eight years, and the album’s low-key house and lounge vibes wittingly challenge those who thought they knew what a Robyn song should sound like (she gets off on turning her image and sound on their heads, she tells me). In the raw, evocative clip, the 40-year-old pop icon is dressed in a sheer, nipple-baring silk blouse and latex jumpsuit, both fashioned by Nicolas
Ghesquière for Louis Vuitton; she sexes a mic stand, cutting loose in a sandy desert where Greek statues tower over the Swedish fembot. When she raises the stand with profound ease after humping it on the ground, whipping it around and around through the air with propellant force, we are reminded of Robyn’s status as a singular supernova still staking out her own slice of solitary sky in a galaxy of flashy pop stars. You look at her, writhing, gyrating, moving in tandem with only herself as her guide, like a leader among us, and think: of course, she is among the Gods. A true pop music heroine. In the decade since Body Talk, when the late-’90s artist reemerged a cult force in the aughts, the gay icon has culled a coalition of underground outsiders and outcasts by cutting through pop-culture excess with the rarest of pop-star features: her desire to be human first, pop artist second. She tells me she doesn’t see herself like we see her – this, after I tell her how lucky I feel to be Skyping her (it’s Robyn! On her own!), and how her music has served as a heartening salve for many, including myself. Our Robyn is not Robyn’s Robyn, however, and so her demure response – “OK, great. I’m happy I can do that for you,” she said, in a voice that intoned a steady softness that made me wonder what Robyn sounds like when she’s shouting – can be read as reluctantly appreciative (later, she tells me why). The rest of my Skype conversation with Robyn was spent talking about why she thinks it’s important artists understand the queer references they use in their work, the precise reason she’s proud “Dancing On My Own” became a gay anthem, and how her current post-tomboy femininity is, for her, “almost like dragging.” Has your relationship with the LGBTQ community always been such a natural fit? Yeah, I’m sure. Whatever people connect to in my music, if it’s there for them, then that is a natural connection. You know what I think? I wouldn’t say that all LGBT and queer people are the same, so for me it’s maybe a little awkward to assume that all people that are LGBTQ have the same views of what I do, but I can recognize myself in the LGBTQ community in the sense that I think they are people who question what being a human being is about because it has been naturally incorporated in being different or feeling different, or maybe not being conventional or living in a conventional way. I think questioning yourself or questioning the context you’re in comes natural to this community, and for me that’s something that I feel connected to or that I feel that I can understand. Maybe that’s why there seems to be this strong, kind of pure bond between me and that part of my fan group. How do you explain the relationship between the LGBTQ community and, more specifically, your music? There’s a tradition with the gay community gravitating to music that is melodic and melancholy, maybe in the same (song). You can
hear it in ABBA, you can hear it in the tradition of British gay bands and gay artists that have always championed this way of singing about emotions, whether it’s like Erasure, or even Queen. There’s a tradition there within gay music culture that I always felt was something that I connected to. You grew up with parents who owned a theater company. Was that your first exposure to the LGBTQ community? Some of my parents’ friends were gay and some of them were people I liked, but I don’t know if I can say that I had an understanding of the gay community through my parents. You’ve said that making your own space as a pop artist versus trend-grabbing has been at least somewhat a byproduct of being inspired by the queer community also having to create its own space. When did you first experience the queer community in that way? My first experience of club culture was in New York in a club called Body & Soul, which was at this place called the Shelter in New York. I don’t know if you could say it was a pure gay club because it was very mixed, but it was definitely a club that was authentic in the sense that it was really connected to the foundations of house music in New York, which was a pure gay culture. But I wouldn’t say it was a part of gay culture that represents all gay people either. Also, I think it’s maybe important to just define “gay” or “LGBTQ” because there’s so many different parts of it now, which is an amazing thing. You know, it’s really beautiful how diverse it’s been and become and also how broad it is now; it’s part of the commercial pop culture in the world. But the part that I was brought into as a teenager was maybe something that I don’t think you can say was a commercial part of the gay community but something that grew out of a gay community that was very underground and not so accepted. When it comes to the commercialization of queerness in pop music, what are you seeing? Are more artists diving into queer culture in a way that wasn’t happening when you launched your music career in the ’90s? For me I don’t think I am a protector of queer – well, maybe queer, but not gay values. I’m not the one who sets the agenda for how people should relate to gay culture; I think that’s something that gay people have to do and kind of guard themselves. I don’t feel like I have that right. But I was always inspired by club music, and the club culture is something that gay people crave. It wouldn’t exist if there wasn’t the gay community that started that whole movement in America in the ’70s. And I think because of that, I have a responsibility to be aware of what the references are that I’m drawn to. But it’s also queer culture in the sense that there’s lots of artists who don’t define themselves as gay artists but who are still making queer music, whether it’s Kate Bush or Prince. Is queerness in pop music political? I think there’s a political aspect to talking about gay communities – and there’s also another
aspect, which is just about the queer expression and what that means. But sometimes they overlap and sometimes it’s really important to be political. I think it’s always important to be aware of, whether it’s gay culture or black culture or any minority, what it is that you are representing and where you draw your inspiration from. But then there’s also another kind of space, which is held by a queer expression and which, I think, (goes) beyond your sexual orientation. It might be a way of just expressing yourself that is not part of the norm, so there’s lots of different nuances in that. You’ve said you get shy when fans express their love for you because you don’t know if things are gonna get weird. What’s the weirdest encounter you’ve had with a fan? I don’t remember. I don’t keep track of those things, but I guess for me it’s just maybe sometimes I don’t feel that I – maybe I’m not just always comfortable with the attention, but that doesn’t mean I’m not, like, happy that people enjoy my music. I’m just always really flattered when people come up to me and tell me what they feel. That’s always a nice day, especially when people are nice. But I don’t know. It’s hard to give an example of weird fans. What about the attention makes you uncomfortable? I guess maybe I’m just a little bit uncomfortable with the idea of fame. I don’t think it has to do, maybe, with fans; I just think sometimes I’m like a sensitive person (laughs), so I don’t always feel like I recognize myself in the image that people have of me. I might have a different day, or I might be in a different kind of mood, or whatever; I just get a little awkward. But it’s nothing too traumatic. Aside from “Dancing On My Own,” are there other songs of yours that have been interpreted, or even kind of claimed, by LGBTQ culture in ways you hadn’t expected they would be? 16 | 07.17.19
I think with songs like that you never know what’s gonna happen to them. It’s almost like when you release a song, it’s not yours anymore – it’s up to the people who listen to it to decide what it means for them. And that’s what I love about making music, or even performing live: that it’s a conversation between me and the people who are listening. So I don’t, maybe other people do, know what’s gonna happen with a song. With “Dancing On My Own,” it was definitely like that – I had no idea it was going to take on these several different lives, being a part of Girls, the TV series, and then becoming what you’re saying: a song that meant a lot to the gay community, and in lots of different countries. That’s one of the biggest compliments you can get as an artist, because the gay community chooses their champions in a very special way, and I think all subcultures do. For me, growing up with that kind of music, it’s something I’m really proud about. You’ve said that the sonic inspiration for “Baby Forgive Me,” from Honey, was Bruce Springsteen’s “Streets of Philadelphia,” a song that means a great deal to the LGBTQ community because of its use in Philadelphia. Can you take me through the process of how Bruce’s song led to “Baby Forgive Me”? I think there were lots of different songs that inspired “Baby Forgive Me,” but I know that I mentioned “Streets of Philadelphia” in an interview. That was definitely part of it, but there were other songs as well, like a George McCrae song called “Rock Your Baby,” that I listened to. But also other disco and more modern songs like slower Balearic, like house music, that I also listened to so much. So that was a mix of very, very different things, and me and Mr. Tophat, who I made it with, were playing around with these chords in the studio. It was one of those songs that just came very intuitively and kind of in one go. We worked on it for a long time and refined it,
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and it went through lots of different stages. There was a point where it was almost like a slow acid track. To me, it’s very inspired by disco and quite acoustic and more analog soul music, like the way it’s written, but Mr. Tophat and Joseph Mount gave it this other more monotonous production that maybe sounds a little bit more like “Streets of Philadelphia” in a way. Gay men still have a real thing for late ’90s female pop: Are they the ones who still request that your ’90s hit “Show Me Love” be part of your current tour repertoire? I think it depends on where you look. In Sweden here, where I live, a lot of people that grew up with that song still see it as one of the more important songs of my repertoire (laughs). But yeah… Do you still see it that way? I do, yeah. I still play it live sometimes. It was a part of the setlist the last time I toured, so I’m not against it in any way. You took an eight-year break before Honey was released last year. Will we have to wait as long for the next album? Oh, I don’t know if it will be another eight years – that would feel strange. There will be an album sooner or later, but I don’t know when. I’m still touring, so I haven’t been spending any time in the studio since the end of last year. I hope to at the end of this year, but I have no clue when I’ll have music finished. You once said you identify with the queer community when it comes to subverting gender expectations, and I noticed your gender presentation is currently softer and more feminine. Did you get sick of having to introduce yourself as, “Hi, I’m Robyn and I’m a girl”? I haven’t introduced myself that way in a very long time, but I think when I grew up, being androgynous was also a way of protecting myself 18 | 07.17.19
and not being as vulnerable as a woman or as a girl. I was maybe at a stage when I made this album where I felt like it was time to let that go, even a bit. Not saying at all that androgyny is something you can’t be vulnerable in, because I really think it’s a lot of different things for a lot of different people. And I don’t think that being androgynous is, as much as it was maybe when I was growing up, a protection, because everything with gender is kind of being re-examined at the moment. So maybe, for me, it was more drag going into a feminine role than it was being androgynous. You felt more comfortable as a tomboy. Exactly. So being more feminine is almost like dragging for me (laughs) – or exploring something in myself that maybe I wasn’t as easy with. Do you find power in how you choose to present gender? For me, I think the power of it is being able to play with it and not having to decide what it is. And that it is just like everything else: Whether you have short hair or long hair or if you’re shy or extroverted, these things change over time, and I think what’s interesting is how you approach it from what your norm is, or how you’re feeling, what is challenging to you – and maybe what’s challenging to the people who think they know who you are. -As editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBTQ wire service, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in GQ, Vanity Fair and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.
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Conjoining Hearts When I was very young, one of my favorite wishes was to have a twin. A conjoined twin to be specific. We’d go everywhere together and get into all sorts of mischief; like date two guys and confuse them with who’s dating the girl on the left and who’s dating the one on the right. Sadly, my life wouldn’t give me my wish. But then I heard about this event in Atlanta called Joining Hearts. They’ve been around for a while raising funds to help people living with HIV/AIDS. I love a good party, and one that helps people is icing on the cake! Surprisingly, I’ve never been to Joining Hearts. So, before I decide to dip my toes into the refreshing pool of speedo-laden Atlanta queens, I wanted to learn more about it. I sat down with a man who I thought was the chairman, but later learned was a homeless man who was sleeping in a Piedmont Park gazebo until I woke him up. He told me his favorite memory of Joining Hearts was the fireworks, as they were very close to his gazebo. We spoke about the event for a few hours and after asking me for a $5 bill and a tall boy, we parted ways. I wanted to learn about what happens inside the party walls, so I went to a friend of mine who has been to almost every event Atlanta could throw at him. I sat down with Patrick, who I’ve known longer than I hoped to, and got more information about the event that I expected. He shared a fond memory of getting railed inside the pool with hundreds of people unaware. He says the trick is to douche with chlorine beforehand, so it doesn’t sting when in the pool. He doesn’t remember much of the rest of the night due to an artisan-like blend of ketamine, Liquid G and vodka, but he was certain he enjoyed himself. Once he opened up about all the more secretive “goodies” you can find there, my excitement grew. In fact, I got so excited, I decided to start my own annual party! I needed a charitable cause to raise money and awareness to that would go beyond helping those with HIV/AIDS, and it hit me: re-conjoining people who were born sad and without another person stuck to them. It was a surefire success. And just like that, Conjoining Hearts was born. This year will mark the first ever party. It will be held a week before Joining Hearts and feature pretty much the same perks with a few extras: a pool, drinks, food, party animals, actual wildlife animals, ice cream truck that doubles as a creeper van and that one guy who’s always in the corner of a bar staring at young gays. I haven’t fully figured out the details for my party, but I am sure it will be a bang. I put my friend Patrick in charge of social media since he never gets off his phone and has become a household name on Grindr. To help out the friskier party guests, I have erected a three-story House of a Thousand Ball Gags. It has plenty of rooms to run off to, a large voyeur meetand-greet auditorium complete with swings and a leather shop, and of course self-applying condoms (safety first!). For a discount to the event, use discount code: Whoopsie Daisy Chain. If you’re going to the actual Joining Hearts, be sure to always smell whatever you’re about to put in your mouth and have a good time. If you’re planning on attending MY event, rethink your life choices and go donate to HIV/AIDS.
Yours in donating and partying,
Mitzi Pennington is the self-proclaimed sex symbol and advice-giving-guru alter ego of Mirza Muftic. She came from humble roots of middle America and married into money shortly after dropping out of college. Her late husband’s fortune allows her to travel the world and have a sense of enlightenment one normally gets from actually working for their money. Mirza has had none of those experiences in his life. On occasion, Mirza will perform as Mitzi around Atlanta. His other interests/day job include film editing, retouching, and stop-motion animation. @itsmitzip
20 | 07.17.19
peachATL.com | 21
SUMMER IN THE ATL! PHOTOS: JUST TOBY, ALLI ROYCE SOBLE, MIKKEL H, ANDREA DWYER, & TOM THOMAS
22 | 07.17.19
Peach ATL: 6.25 x 9.25 full page, live 6x9
FREE HIV TESTING FREE PrEP LOW-COST STI SCREENING 678-365-4300 523 Church Street Decatur, GA 30030 PositiveImpactHealthCenters.org peachATL.com | 23
BULGE @ THE HIDEAWAY
PHOTOS: ANDREA DWYER
24 | 07.17.19
The Human Rights Campaign invites you to our fourth annual tennis social, Serving for Equality! Players of all skill levels are encouraged to participate in this fun doubles event. Don’t have a doubles partner? We will pair you up with other players and you can make some new friends along the way. Not a tennis player? That’s okay! Join us as a spectator. Players and spectators will enjoy food, cocktails, music, a photo booth, a silent auction and more!
Saturday, July 27th, 2019 Sharon Lester Tennis Center | Piedmont Park 400 Park Drive, Atlanta, GA 30306
6:00P.M. - 10:00P.M. Ticketing: Player: $60 Spectator: $25
Corporate Sponsors
Community Sponsors
Presenting
Platinum
Gold
For more information, please visit
hrc.org/sfeatlanta
peachATL.com | 25
TASTE AND TEST @ OUT OF THE CLOSET PHOTOS BY TOM THOMAS
26 | 07.17.19
Through laughter, tears and every emotion in-between, Summer Shorts explores the colorfully rich spectrum of the queer experience. Through a series of short plays and monologues, and performed as part of Out Front Theatre Company’s Young Professional Performers Series, Summer Shorts promises to enliven, enlighten and entertain in the summertime heat!
AUG 1-4, 2019
All Tickets: $15 Out Front Theatre Company 999 Brady Avenue, Atlanta
www.OutFrontTheatre.com peachATL.com | 27
Tickets Available @ joininghearts.org
Christopher is originally from a small town in Georgia, but now splits his time between NYC and Atlanta as an accomplished TV personality, realtor for Berkshire Hathaway, and Global Creative Director for Ready To Wear Beauty. He resides in Atlanta with his husband James and the best dog in the world named Vanity Fair. Christopher is also the creator of the luxury anti-aging skincare Macken Beauty, and he is a former columnist for DIY Weddings Magazine, so creativity is a pillar of this adept gentleman.
@ mackensays
Christopher Macken
30 | 07.17.19
You deserve Personalized Care & Individual Attention – that’s what we deliver at Family Health Care of Atlanta • Participating in many clinical trials • Certiied HIV Specialist, American Academy of HIV Medicine • 20+ years experience in Family & HIV Care SPECIALIZING IN DERMATOLOGY, STD’S, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, UROLOGY, PSYCHIATRIC DISORDERS
peachATL.com | 31
JOIN THE RESISTANCE By Darren Floro-Bryant
Strength training; it’s all about resistance. To get stronger, you will need to do some resistance training, and there are so many options out there to help you achieve your goals. I won’t be able to present them all to you, but with some help from my fellow trainers from Gravity Fitness, we can help give you some help with understanding these options.
As you’ll see below, there are many options out there to help you with your strength training. All of them are great, and all of them will help you increase your strength in different ways. Depending on your level or your goals, you can either focus on one style or mix and match to add variety and intensity. Seeking the guidance of a personal trainer is a great way to switch things up and show you different ways to add these styles (or others) into your program to help keep you challenged and motivated.
Body Weight Resistance Let’s get started with your body weight as resistance training. Essentially resisting your body weight against gravity. The advantage of utilizing this form of resistance training is that it can be done anywhere YOU are with no equipment. Adding different ways to challenge gravity against your body is a great way to intensify the resistance. Things like isometric training, plyometric training, Pilates, Yoga, suspension training, and tempo control are great examples of this.
Elastic Band Resistance A great way to add some external resistance is using tools such as elastic bands and resistance tubing. Like body weight training, it is easy to do anywhere, but an easy way to bring resistance on the road with you. These ‘tools’ can be utilized in so many ways and super easy to pack on your travels. They can help you add focus to a certain body part, help with form and function, make an exercise easier, to name a few.
32 | 07.17.19
WORLD UNITED RUN & FOR EQUITY INCLUSIVENESS 5K We are pleased to announce the first annual World United Run for Equity & Inclusiveness 5K. Our Atlanta 5K is just one in a series of World United Events around the World focusing on equity and inclusiveness and encouraging the graceful acceptance of diversity. Events are in the planning now in Bengaluru, India and Fort Walton Beach, Florida. A concept of Oneness & Equity in our City and in the World is encouraged. Companies with Diversity and Inclusiveness Departments or Divisions are asked to register as a Team. Teams with the largest number of participants will receive special awards. We welcome all to join us in this run/ walk held in the spirit of equity and inclusiveness. Let’s join together and graciously respect diversity and others who are different than ourselves. Sign up now at www.active.com and participate in the World United Run for Equity & Inclusiveness, promoting equity and inclusiveness for all.
RACE HIGHLIGHTS •
USATF Certified Course for 2020 Peachtree Seeding
•
Electronic Chip Timing by Horizon Race Solutions of Atlanta
•
Race Organization by Road Race Services of Atlanta
•
Great Soft Cotton t shirts
•
Race is limited to 2,000 Runners/ Walkers
•
Portion of proceeds will benefit organizations with a history of policies of diversity and inclusiveness
Contact
Ed Williams - roadraceservices@comcast.net
When
August 10 - 7:00 a.m. - Packet pick up - 8:00 a.m. - 5K Run/Walk.
Entry Fee
Registration: $35 through 4/01/19 $40 through 6/1/19. $ 45 after that and on race day if not already sold out.
Registration
- mail-in race registration flyer - online @ rungeorgia.com - in store at Phidippides Ansley Mall 404-875-4268 Packet Pickup: Early packet pickup will be available at Phidippides Ansley Mall: Starting Saturday August 3, 5, 6, 7, and 8.Early packet pickup is strongly encouraged. Race day pickup will be available 7 am to 7 45 am next to the Charles Allen Gate.
Distance: 5K Date: August 10, 2019, 8:00 a.m. Location: Atlanta, GA - Piedmont Park
Weighted Resistance The most recognized or most thought of style of resistance training is weight training, using different forms of weighted equipment (i.e., free weights in the form of barbells, dumbbells, weighted cable stacks, kettlebells, etc. and weighted resistance machines). Visiting any fitness facility will generally have a variety of these pieces of equipment. Each type of equipment challenges you in a slightly different way, and the resistance against your muscles at various points is challenged differently depending on the equipment you choose. 34 | 07.17.19
Non-Traditional Resistance The last one I am going to mention is nontraditional forms of resistance like medicine balls, battle ropes, weighted vests, stability balls, and so many more. These are great because they challenge you in non-traditional ways. -Darren Floro-Bryant is originally from Ontario, Canada, but now lives in Atlanta, GA. Darren has worked as a certified Group Fitness Instructor, Fitness Coach, and Personal Trainer for more than 25 Years. Currently, he owns DFB Fitness and Foundation Fitness – learn more at DFBFitness.com and FoundationFitness.co.
NEW HAPPY HOUR WEEKDAYS $5 SVEDKA MARTINIS TIL 7PM MONDAYS with Mother FOOD & $5 TITOS TUESDAYS TRIVIA w/ DEWAYNE BAR TAB PRIZES $5 EL JIMADOR RESPOSADO MARGARITAS WEDNESDAYS WINE & CHEESE NIGHT $20 BOTTLES THURSDAYS GRWL SHIRTLESS NIGHT $3 DRAFT PINTS 1544 PIEDMONT AVE, NE, ATLANTA, GA 30324 ANSLEY MALL BEHIND PUBLIX
THE PLACE TO BE !
peachATL.com | 35
TREAT YOURSELF. GIVE YOURSELF THE VIP TREATMENT AND SUPPORT ATLANTA PRIDE'S YEAR-ROUND WORK. DON’T DELAY - VIP TICKET QUANTITIES ARE LIMITED AND WILL SELL OUT! ATLANTAPRIDE.ORG/VIP VIP AREA PRESENTED BY
ATLANTA PRIDE CELEBRATION OCTOBER 11-13, 2019
r e m Sum $5 off ! r u To Metrotainment Cafes
for vip members all summer long* Monday Einstein's
Tuesday Guaco Joe's Wednesday Hudson Grille & Hudson FC Thursday Joe's on Juniper Friday Bakery & Sugar Shack *discount applied to food only
July 17 – July 24
Jennifer Lopez - It’s My Party Tour
Sugar: Joining Hearts Edition As the official tea dance of the Joining Hearts weekend, Just two days away from her 50th birthday, world superstar Beyond Productions once again satisfies your cravings for Jennifer Lopez is in Atlanta with her latest tour. Get ready something sweet featuring Dan De Leon (PUMP records in for a visually stunning and high-energy dance party as the Las Vegas) and amazing lighting by Skyworks Lighting. star performs hits from her massive repertoire. Sunday, July 21, 4-9 pm Monday, July 22, 8 pm Loca Luna State Farm Arena STAFF PICK!
Joining Hearts Weekend The weekend is dedicated to parties that all support the mission of Joining Hearts. Besides the main CELEBRATE event at the Piedmont Park pool, you can party with a purpose at the Heretic, Buckhead Theatre, XION, and District. Check out joininghearts.org for more. July 19-21
Sweet Spot District introduces their patio party before hosting the official Joining Hearts closing party. DJs Deanne and Pride serve you a fresh blend of vintage house and nu-disco – and look out for a special DJ set by Brian Rojas.
RuPaul’s Drag Race: Season 11 Tour Revel in the spectacle of drag race herstory as Yvie Oddly, Silky Nutmeg Ganache, A’kiera Chanel Davenport, Plastique Tiara, Kahanna Montrese, Ariel Versace, Nina West take the stage to make you gag. Official after-party at MSR featuring Miz Cracker!
Sunday, July 21, 2-7 pm District Atlanta
Saturday, July 20, 8 pm Center Stage
38 | 07.17.19
ATLANTA BEAR FEST @ ATLANTA EAGLE PHOTOS: ANDREA DWYER
40 | 07.17.19
MIDTOWN 1
Monroe Dr. NE
14
Amsterdam Ave.
NE ve . tA
Piedmont Park
on
11
dm
6 12th St. NE
18
Pi e
Juniper St. NE
14th St. NE
7
9
2
10th St. NE
10
. NE
19
oe Dr
e. NE Piedmont Av
Juniper St . NE
Peachtree St. NE
3
Monr
Charle s Alle n Dr . N E
12 W. Peachtree St. NW
15
16
4th St. NE
8
13
BARS Amsterdam Blake's Bulldogs Friends The Model T My Sister’s Room Ten Atlanta
5
Dining 502 Amsterdam Ave NE 227 10th St NE 893 Peachtree St NE 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE 699 Ponce De Leon Ave NE 66 12th St NE 990 Piedmont Ave NE
9 10 11 12
10 th & Piedmont Campagnolo Einstein's F.R.O.G.S
clubs 13 Atlanta Eagle
306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
14 Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave NE
spa/bath 15 Flex Spa
42 | 07.17.19
991 Piedmont Ave NE 980 Piedmont Ave NE 1077 Juniper St NE 931 Monroe Cir NE
fitness
retail 8 Barking Leather
4
Ponce De Leon Ave. NE
Ponce De Leon Ave. NE
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
P o n ce D e Leo n Pl . N E
Spring St. NW
17
76 4th St. NW
16 17 18 19
G’s Midtown Henry’s Joe's on Juniper La Hacienda
219 10th St NE 132 10th St NE 1049 Juniper St NE 900 Monroe Dr NE
billards/Darts drag dancers leather non-smoking area Patio
When the world throws you Let be your savedandgay.com
Cheshire 23
ansley 21
e
ge
Rd
on tC ir .
Piedmont Park BARS 2043 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1086 Alco St NE 1931 Piedmont Cir NE 2425 Piedmont Rd NE 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd
32 33 34 35 36
Midtown Moon Felix's The Hideaway Mixx Oscar's
805 Lambert Dr. NE, Suite A 2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1739 Cheshire Bridge Rd 2201 Faulkner Rd NE
Spa / bath 2103 Faulkner Rd NE 2135 Liddell Drive NE
1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 1544 Piedmont Ave NE 1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
Dining 38 Eclectic Bistro
Fitness 30 Gravitee Fitness
NE
.
clubs 28 Heretic 29 Tokyo Valentino
e. nt mo ed
39 38
Retail 26 Barking Leather 27 Southern Nights
41
Pi
28 20
Dining 24 Las Margaritas 25 Roxx
Av
ge Rd Brid hire
r.
E
Ches
.N
.
25
BJ Roosters Opus 1 Tripps Woof's
31 Manifest 4 U 42 The Den
35
24
id Br
Dr
Rd
BARS 20 21 22 23
40
32
oe
hir
36
nr
dm
es
ll D
31 er
Mo
Pi e
29
Ch
idde
kn
27
33
. NE
Manchester St. NE
Piedmont Rd. NE
22
42 L
ul
IX
34
x Rd
Fa
26
BL
Le no
30
Lambert Dr.
PU
St.
.
A l co
1600 Piedmont Ave NE 1425 Piedmont Ave NE
Retail 39 Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave NE 40 Brushstrokes/Pleasures 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
Fitness 41 Equilibrium Fitness
1529 Piedmont Ave, Suite L
NOT SHOWN
Mary's Sister Louisa’s Church Swinging Richards Lips Atlanta
1287 Glenwood Ave SE 466 Edgewood Ave SE 1400 Northside Dr NW 3011 Buford Hwy NE
peachATL.com | 43
A snapshot of Gay Atlanta’s favorite destinations. View their ads in Peach ATL & visit their websites for weekly event listings.
Bars & Clubs
EAST ATLANTA, GRANT PARK & EDGEWOOD
Retail
MIDTOWN
MARY’S
MIDTOWN
amsterdamatlanta.com
1287 Glenwood Ave SE
AMSTERDAM
502 Amsterdam Ave. NE
ATLANTA EAGLE
marysatlanta.com
SISTER LOUISA’S CHURCH
BARKING LEATHER AFTER DARK barkingleather.com
306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
sisterlouisaschurch.com
CHESHIRE
SWINGING RICHARDS
BARKING LEATHER
1400 Northside Dr NW
805 Lambert Dr NE
BULLDOGS
Dining
2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE
FRIENDS NEIGHBORHOOD BAR
MIDTOWN
736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
10thandpiedmont.com
atlantaeagle.com
306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
BLAKE’S ON THE PARK
blakesontheparkatlanta.com 227 10th St NE
893 Peachtree St NE
friendsonponce-atl.com
466 Edgewood Ave SE
swingingrichards.com
10TH & PIEDMONT
MY SISTER’S ROOM
991 Piedmont Ave NE
66 12th St NE
einsteinsatlanta.com
mysistersroom.com
TEN ATLANTA
tenatlanta.com
990 Piedmont Ave NE
CHESHIRE
EINSTEIN’S
1077 Juniper St NE
BOY NEXT DOOR MENSWEAR boynextdoormenswear.com 1447 Piedmont Ave NE
GCB & PLEASURES
brushstrokesatlanta.com 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE
Fitness MIDTOWN
2069 Cheshire Bridge Road
219 10th St NE
BJ ROOSTERS
HENRY’S
gsmidtown.com
bjroosters.com
henrysatl.com
2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
132 10th St NE
OPUS 1
JOE’S ON JUNIPER
TRIPPS
ANSLEY
931 Monroe Dr
frogsmidtown.com
G’S
1086 Alco St NE
SOUTHERN NIGHTS VIDEO
FROGS CANTINA
HERETIC
hereticatlanta.com
barkingleather.com
joesonjuniper.com
1049 Juniper St NE
URBAN BODY FITNESS urbanbodyfitness.com
500 Amsterdam Ave NE
CHESHIRE GRAVITEE FITNESS graviteeatl.com
2201 Faulkner Rd NE
1931 Piedmont Circle N
LA HACIENDA
Spas/Baths/Adult
WOOFS
900 Monroe Dr NE
MIDTOWN
2425 Piedmont Road NE
CHESHIRE
FLEX SPA
ANSLEY
LAS MARGARITAS
MIDTOWN MOON
76 4th St NW
1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE
CHESHIRE
ROXX
MANIFEST 4U
woofsatlanta.com
1492 Piedmont Ave NE
FELIX’S
lahaciendamidtown.com
lasmargaritasmidtown.com
1510 Piedmont Ave NE
1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE
THE HIDEAWAY
DEKALB
1544 Piedmont Ave NE
LIPS ATLANTA
MIXX
3011 Buford Hwy NE
mixxatlanta.com
1492 Piedmont Ave NE
OSCAR’S
oscarsatlanta.com
1510 Piedmont Ave NE
44 | 07.17.19
atldragshow.com
flexspas.com
manifest4u.org
2103 Faulkner Rd NE
THE DEN
thedenatlanta.com
2135 Liddell Drive NE
LUXURY LGBT ALMAR RESORT TIMESHARE PLUS BONUS FOR SALE BEACH FRONT BEAUTIFUL BEACH HOTEL & FOOD CONTACT leonrri@hotmail.com
Massage Bodyworks by David $80 per hour 1st time $60 w/Peach ATL ad David cell 205-206-5218 cylondk1@gmail.com Located in Atlanta on Ponce De Leon Ave NE
ADVERTISE In Atlanta's premier
LGBT MAGAZINE for as little as
35 per week!
$
Email jeff@peachatl.com for more information.
Georgia Body Works.com Mobile Fitness and Massage “I come to you, so let’s get started!”
678-557-1780
Personal Training • Massage • Entertainment georgiabodyworks.com
HELP WANTED
FULL TIME DESK CLERK POSITIONS AVAILABLE
8-4pm and 12-8am
Please apply online at Flexspas.com
Hot Tub and Swim Spas
60% OFF RETAIL AquaLivingStores.com 404-382-5329
peachATL.com | 45
10 TRACKS FOR YOUR JOINING HEARTS WEEKEND
Pre-kiki, main event, and after party beats!
Love Yourself – Billy Porter Sweat – Stereogamous Find U Again – Mark Ronson
Water – Empress Of
Cattitude – Miley Cyrus
Open My Mouth – Kiiara It’s You – Ali Gatie Swimming Pools – Kendrick Lamar
We Get High from the Music - Mark Knight
Opposite – Kara Marni
46 | 07.17.19
WE'RE HIRING WE ARE SEEKING Motivated, Hard-Working, Innovative People to be Our Next Superstar Ad Sales Representatives.
Playmates and soul mates...
Jumpstart Your Career by Joining Atlanta's Newest Gay Media Company! One Year Sales Experience Required EMAIL YOUR RESUME TO
Jeff@peachatl.com
Atlanta:
678-528-2525
18+ MegaMates.com
We’re closer to Atlanta than you think! Get the details on these and other great upcoming events on our website calendar.
Membership Required * Must be 21 to Enter
peachATL.com | 47
Text your Peach Pits to 540-30-PEACH, or e-mail mikkel@PeachATL.com
Him: Still hungry!
Me: We just ate breakfast
I legit only drink water or alcohol. I’m either hydrated or drunk.
Him: Want more breakfast!
Me: No, you’ll gain weight
I hate it when I’m so hungover that I can’t even Cardi B okurrrrrrrrr
Him: Weight sounds fun, let’s gain it!
Me:
Dad Joke Alert Atheism is a non-prophet organization
I hate when I go out in public and there are other people too. Like WTF?
Asking for a friend Does refusing to go the gym count as resistance training?
48 | 07.17.19
If you wanna impress me with your car it better be a food truck!
Your secret is safe with me – I wasn’t even listening to what you were saying.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 - DEC. 21) An authority figure of some sort may find fault with you today, or ask that you redo a job you’ve already done. Don’t react in anger. Take a deep breath and get to work. Tonight, exercise will release the tension.
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 - JAN. 19) Some information or advice you need is coming to you from a great distance -- physical or temporal. Do you owe a far-off friend or relative (perhaps someone you’ve lost touch with) a phone call?
CANCER (JUN. 21 - JUL. 22)
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 - FEB. 18)
When was the last time you hosted a dinner party? Well, today is an excellent day for event planning. You’ll likely find some inspiration in a cookbook or a food magazine. Try out a new recipe tonight.
Today you should shift your focus from the big picture to the fine print -- all your wonderfully innovative, creative ideas will come to nothing if you disregard these small (but significant) details.
LEO (JUL. 23 - AUG. 22)
PISCES (FEB. 19 - MAR. 20)
Although you may be in the mood for decisive action today, find time for a session of clearheaded strategizing. Don’t make any moves forward until you have the entire route (and a realistic budget) mapped out.
Expect to gain a new understanding of a relationship today -- you may discover that someone’s feelings for you are deeper than you thought. Alternatively, you may realize that you’re the one whose feelings have deepened.
VIRGO (AUG. 23 - SEP. 22)
ARIES (MAR. 21 - APR. 19)
If you start working on small details today, you’ll end up making major headway with a project that has gotten somewhat out of control lately. Recent confusion will resolve into clarity today.
If you need to take a break from your long to-do list today, don’t waste it on surfing the Internet (though you may be tempted to simply veg out for a while). A bit of exercise will clear your head and give you energy.
LIBRA (SEP. 23 - OCT. 22)
TAURUS (APR. 20 - MAY 20)
Several worrisome minor problems are adding up to a somewhat heavy load today -- but you mustn’t let them weigh you down into immobility. Take things one at a time -- by the end of the day, you’ll have made good progress.
Express your love for other people in tangible ways today -- material (flowers or a small gift) or physical (a hug or a gentle stroke). Today is one of those days when actions really do speak louder than words.
SCORPIO (OCT. 23 - NOV. 21)
GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUN. 20)
It may be time to reveal a secret you’ve been keeping -- something about yourself that embarrasses you. Someone close to you has the same secret, and your revelation will help you both understand that you’re not alone.
Pay bills, take care of errands and attend to household chores -- today may not be the most exciting day you’ve ever had, but it would be a good idea (and personally satisfying) to take care of these humdrum matters today.
50 | 07.17.19
By Mikkel Hyldebrandt Trouble in the love department? With sex? Or just people in general? Send us your queries, questions, and problems, and you’ll get answers served straight up and with a little ice.
I
have been dating this really good-looking guy, and we waited four dates before we actually had sex – mostly because he never initiated anything, but he showed interest in other ways. I had my suspicions, and when we finally got naked, my suspicion that he has a smaller penis was confirmed. I don’t mind that at all – I mean it is still a pretty penis – but now that we have sex more regularly, he has also confided in me that he gets turned on by being ridiculed or laughed at for having a smaller penis. I guess it’s some kind of trauma that he has turned into a fetish? Anyway, he wants me to do it, and I just don’t know if I’m into it, because it feels so wrong to me. On the other hand, I don’t want to be a kink shamer here. What do I do? Sincerely A Small Problem
M
Dear A Small Problem The guy you are dating enjoys a variety of erotic humiliation that falls pretty soft on the kink scale. He has eroticized his smaller penis from something that probably brought him some shame – the fact that he didn’t want to get naked with you right away points to that – to something that turns him on. So, in a way, he has made something that could potentially inhibit so many others into a good thing for himself. Good for him! But is that good for you? Asking him to see a therapist to get to the bottom of why he has fetishized his penis this way may be a big ask in a relatively new relationship, so maybe this is your cue to move on? It’s as simple as saying ‘sorry, I’m not into it’ – meaning the kink and not the size of his penis! You could also give it a go, and maybe discover you have that kink in you too! But as with most kinks, they tend to run deeper than first admitted, so you could also experience that he just wants more and more. In a way, his smallpenis thing is bigger than you, so the question is: are you ready to try that on for size?
Dear Camned There is no question that your husband’s actions are a borderline violation, and they are definitely deceitful. You would be right to feel violated and that the trust between you has been broken. This is not to assign any blame, but does he have cause to be suspicious of your behavior? Have you cheated on him in the past or done something upsetting that makes him feel like he needs to monitor you? If yes, there might be a sliver of reason as to why he is doing this. He is jealous or insecure, and spying on you somehow gives him a release to those emotions. If not, then he has a much deeper-reaching problem that is more like pathological, unfounded jealousy – and that you need to be careful of! So first of all, you need to know to what extent he geo-locates you. Then you need to understand why. And finally, you need to work out how you can get through this together. Unless the trust has been broken irreparably somewhere along the line. Then, it’s a wrap.
y husband travels a lot for work, and I recently pieced together that while he is away, he spies on me. We have one of those video doorbells, and we have a gadget that dispenses treats to the dog – and they both have cameras! I also found out that he tracks my phone, and he surveys when I’m online on social media, so basically, he traces my whereabouts and can even watch me on camera unbeknownst to me. When confronted with this, he said it was because he was hoping to see me naked or even masturbating, but it doesn’t make any sense to me, and I think he is just plain checking up on me to know if I’m cheating or something. I really feel like my trust has been betrayed, and I don’t quite know how to handle this! Help me! Sincerely Camned
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52 | 07.17.19
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