CONTENTS
NOVEMBER 27, 2019
V3-46 PEACH ATL MEDIA, LLC 925b Peachtree St. NE #168 Atlanta, GA 3030
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EDITORIAL
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Mikkel Hyldebrandt Editorial Director mikkel@peachatl.com Brian Sawyer Graphics
Jessica Watson
From the Editor
Graphics
It’s not easy to balance being thankful and joyful with the stress of gift shopping, seeing friends and family, while also attending all the parties and events that the holiday season so abundantly serves up for us. Even though it seems like your time is all accounted for, take a moment or two just for you. Do a few good things for yourself to balance out the rapid pace of the season. An hour-long massage is excellent, but even a few minutes of meditation or phone-free calmness will help you center yourself when everything else seems a blur. Maybe this issue of Peach can even serve as a well-deserved little break for you? Happy reading, Peaches!
Mikkel Hyldebrandt Editorial Director Follow my IG @hyldebrandt
SALES | DISTRIBUTION Andrea Dwyer andrea@peachatl.com
CONTRIBUTORS Jamie Kirk Andy Reynolds Scott Sohn
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The content of Peach ATL Media is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice. The opinions expressed by any writer, advertiser, or other person appearing in the Peach ATL Media are not necessarily those of this publication, its management or staff. The information and materials appearing in the magazine are not guaranteed or warranted as to accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness, or suitability of the information and materials found or offered for a particular purpose. It shall be your responsibility to ensure that any products, services, or information available through Peach ATL Media meets your specific requirements. Peach ATL Media is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, content of information, changes, events, and schedules. The magazine contains information and material which is owned by or licensed to Peach ATL Media, including but not limited to articles, advertisements, design, layout, graphics, and logos. No part or portion of Peach ATL Media may be reproduced in any way without the prior written consent of the publisher. Unauthorized use of Peach ATL Media may give rise to claims for damages and or criminal offenses. Your use of the information or materials in Peach ATL Media is strictly at your own risk.
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By Mikkel Hyldebrandt In their efforts to combat youth homelessness in the Atlanta LGBTQ+ community, Lost-n-Found Youth continues to expand its services. Peach spoke to codirectors Nasheedah Bynes-Muhammad and Ernest Walker about their new goals and efforts. First off, tell us a little bit about yourself and your involvement in the Atlanta community. Nasheedah Bynes-Muhammad: I started my career in Atlanta in 1996, as a youth myself, and for the next 20 or so years, I worked almost exclusively with youth and people living with HIV and AIDS. From managing health education programs for young gay and bisexual men at Youth Pride in the 90s to overseeing a clinical demonstration project for HIV positive youth in Oakland to managing an infectious disease clinic in the San Jose area, I have always encountered youth who were experiencing homelessness or were at risk of homelessness and for whom I could offer few options for safe, affirming, and LGBTQ-specific housing. Lostn-Found Youth changed the game. Ernest Walker: I have over 25 years of nonprofit work dealing with LGBTQ rights, HIV, and Homelessness. I have been in Atlanta for little over a year and a half, and my involvement here is one of a black gay man who has always been an advocate and a leader of supportive services for the LGBTQ community, primarily focusing on the Black community which has continuously been burdened with the last of services and support. Tell us a little bit about the background for Lost-n-Found Youth. NBM: In 2011, a group of activists lead by Rick Westbrook brought the community together for a town hall meeting to discuss the growing problem of LGBTQ youth homelessness in Atlanta and the lack of culturally competent safe spaces for homeless youth to live. From the meeting, Lost-n-Found was born. The first house was opened a year later, a year after that came the thrift store and the youth center and it’s been upward bound ever since. This year we announced the addition of 12 beds and a bigger youth center. November is the 8th Anniversary of Lost-n-Found Youth (LFNY) along with being National Homelessness Awareness Month Transgender Awareness Month – how do you plan to mark these occasions? EW: This year, we honored our 8th anniversary, homelessness awareness month, and transgender awareness month by increasing our commitment and the services that we can provide to homeless LGBTQ youth. These include the expansion and opening of a 5,000 square foot drop-in center and the addition
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of 12 more emergency beds. We will wrap up our anniversary month by celebrating Thanksgiving with a huge dinner for our youth. This is a serious expansion of LFNY’s service to Atlanta’s LGBTQ+ youth – how does it feel to fulfill the goal of providing service to even more homeless youth, which includes a larger youth center? NBM: It’s fabulous. We can support homeless youth at every stage of their process of escaping homelessness! We can provide hot meals, showers, and clean clothes for those who are still on the streets, we can provide emergency lodging to get them off the streets as immediately as possible, we can provide transitional housing with wrap-around case management services, and we provide start-up apartment packs and aftercare for graduated youth. EW: It feels amazing to take the dream of the founders and expand without government funds, but with the support of donors, private grants (ETF, Gilead, AIDS United, and Global Health Ministries) and fundraising to provide these services for our youths. What services will you be able to add with the new youth center? EW: We’ll be able to add additional emergency and transitional housing, which will complement our existing services: hot meals, showers, clean clothes and laundry, jobs readiness, access to a computer lab and internet service, case management, substance abuse support and a GED Program. Through partnerships, we also provide onsite HIV and STD screening, mental health services, art therapy, and a variety of enrichment activities. The new youth center is almost double the size of the last center, which allows us to expand the number of partnerships and the variety of activities we’re able to provide. How many more youth will you be able to support with the expansion of your services? EW: Our goal is to add enough beds to get the estimated 1,000 homeless LGBTQ youth living outside off the streets. This takes us one step closer to that goal. Last year we served over 300 youth through our drop-in center who were looking for housing. LNFY was able to house through our own transitional housing programs and our collaboration partners over 85 youth, and with the expansion of our emergency beds, we are looking to double that number. Anything you’d like to add? NBM: We have the resources in our community in Atlanta to end LGBTQ youth homelessness. We can do this together.
Travis Brookshire Paul Holland Mara Davis Arlene Noriega Jeff Giadone Jeff Paramore Team Ellis Richard Pagano & Tom Thomas Ryan Roemerman & Nathan Stein
Scott Sohn
By Peach ATL Editors
workplaces—and in our daily lives.” In Pride Leadership, Yacovelli identifies the six leadership traits—being authentic, leading with courage, having empathy, effective communication, building relationships, and influencing organizational culture—that can greatly increase any LGBTQ+ Leader’s effectiveness. From facing bias, seeking LGBTQ+ mutual support in your business community, to when to fight for inclusivity or “pack up your toys and find an employer who embraces the beautiful difference that is you,” Yacovelli imparts advice and guidance with humor and affection. Chapter titles include “The Shiny Unicorn That is You: Being Your Authentic Self,” “Yielding the Magic Fairy Wand (or Sword) of Empathy,” “Being Krystal (Carrington) Clear: Fabulous Communication.” “You’ll definitely hear my voice in this narrative,” he says. “I tried to write as I speak about these topics, with a little cheekiness sprinkled in to hopefully make the experience enjoyable.”
Pride Leadership is for everyone, not just folks In Pride Leadership, author Dr. Steve in the C-suite. “When I say I want to start an Yacovelli says your LGBTQ+ life experience is LGBTQ+ leadership movement, I mean we need to think about leadership development the key to “leadership awesomeness.” in our community beyond the C-suite,” says “I want to be the gay Brené Brown!” says Yacovelli. “I want us as a community to be “The Gay Leadership Dude,” LGBTQ+ thinking about how we develop that ‘middle,’ leadership speaker, author, and catalyst Dr. and also how we are prepared to develop Steve Yacovelli. On a mission not only to the up-and-coming leaders who will carry empower LGBTQ+ Leaders and allies, but us forward toward our continued fight for start a LGBTQ+ leadership movement, equality—in the workplace and well beyond.” Yacovelli recently published Pride Leadership: Strategies for the LGBTQ+ Leader to be the Pride Leadership: Strategies for the LGBTQ+ Leader to be the King or Queen of King or Queen of their Jungle. their Jungle is available on Amazon and at At the heart of Pride Leadership, which topdoglearning.biz/book. has been praised by workplace leaders and opens with an enthusiastic foreword by Pennsylvania State Representative Brian Sims, is Yacovelli’s firm conviction that our life experience as LGBTQ+ people is a unique advantage, the shiny X-factor, that can make us all great leaders. “LGBTQ+ folks naturally have a lot of the skills it takes to be effective leaders,” he says. “Whether that’s having empathy, being authentic, or knowing how to communicate effectively to a variety of audiences, through our shared journey we’ve had practice in many of these areas. And we can channel that awesomeness into being a more effective and inclusive leader in our respective 10 | 11.27.19
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Stop spending time with people who make you feel worse about yourself, people who seldom, if ever, have anything nice to say about you, people who never compliment you, but will always make time to criticize you. Stop spending time with people who pound on your self-esteem and sense of self-worth. Stop wasting time with people who are never happy for you, never clap for you, never celebrate alongside you, never use the words please or thank you. Stop spending time with people that don’t appreciate you, people that don’t make time for you, or time to be with you, people who make you feel like you are a roadblock and not someone that makes life simpler. Stop being around people that make you feel like you are hard to love. Stop spending time with people who make you feel like you compete with them, always having to one-up your accomplishments, heck, and even your failures. Stop spending time with people who steal your story, by making it seem they have it better/worse than you discount your feelings because of their narcissistic ways. Stop spending time with people that make you feel that what you value and have passion for is dumb or stupid or worthless, people that make you feel weird or wonky or childlike for liking the things that you like. Stop spending time with people that don’t support your hobbies or interest. Stop spending time with people that make you almost want to hide how your freedom of expression. Stop spending time with people who look down on you, who act like they are better than you, who continually underestimate how hard you 12 | 11.27.19
work for what you have. Stop spending time with people that make you feel like you are not doing enough, that you are not enough, and will likely not be enough. Stop being around folks that are sooooo busy at their job, that they don’t even notice you have changed jobs recently. Stop being around people that seem committed to making you feel bad about yourself. Stop spending time with people that talk and talk and talk without taking a moment to listen. Stop spending time with people who get pissed off the second you even think about putting yourself first, even though they seldom go out of their way to help you. People that are intent on making you a giver and them the taker. Stop spending time with people who guilt trip you into giving them what they want, people who act as you owe them something, people who convince you you’re a bad friend, spouse, neighbor, etc. if you don’t blindly follow everything they say and do. Stop spending time with people that people who ruin your good mood, people who bring unnecessary drama into your life, people whom you avoid because the story always ends the same way; in some sort of conflict or discord. Stop spending time with people you honestly just don’t want to be around anymore. At the end of the day, adulting is hard enough without outside distractions from people that should be uplifting us, supporting us, honoring us, and providing a safe environment for us to be our authentic, dysfunctional selves. Make today the last day you spend around people who are depleting your energy, your self-confidence, and robbing you of a happy, peaceful, and healthy life.
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By Scott Sohn
The holidays are upon us once again, and that often entails friends and families joining together over food and cocktails. There are sure to be lots of delectable food and drink choices available, and it can be challenging to stick to a healthy eating pattern during these festive times. But as long as we pay attention and mindfully consume food and drink, the holiday season doesn’t have to throw a curveball into our healthy lifestyles. The three main areas where people get sidetracked have to do with grazing, portion control, and drinking. Many times, we attend parties and are immediately confronted with a wide array of delicious hors d’ oeuvres just begging to be sampled. These are the times when one can get distracted and begin grazing mindlessly, consuming lots of extra calories without realizing it. The trick is to stay present and to be aware of everything that touches your lips during the evening. Allow yourself to enjoy some of the treats, but just be mindful and use discretion and savor every bite. Another area people get into trouble with involves portion control. It’s very easy to get swept up in the excitement of all the wonderful food and end up with an oversized heaping plateful. Use the MyPlate method to fill half of your 7-8-inch dinner plate with fruits and vegetables. The other half of your plate should consist of your protein and starch. A three-ounce serving of meat, about the size of a bar of soap, is a healthy serving size that provides 21 grams of protein. When choosing your starchy carbohydrate foods, portion control is again the key to a healthy and balanced plate. Remember that one carbohydrate serving equals 15 grams of carbohydrates. A balanced diet includes 3-5 servings of carbs per meal or about 12-15 servings per day (180-225 grams/day). So be mindful, know that bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, ice cream, and cookies are all carbohydrate sources. Additionally, beverages like soda, juice, and drink mixers usually contain high amounts of sugar that also contribute to your daily carbohydrate intake. A regular 12 ounce can of soda, juice, or a sports drink, for instance, can contain up to 45 grams of carbohydrates (3 carb servings). The third and most vexing area of overindulgence and debauchery during the holiday season stems from alcohol consumption. Getting caught up in the spirit of things too overzealously can have a disastrous effect not only on your body but on your social life as well. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of the festivities and neglect our health. During the holidays, we are
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likely to stay up later than usual, drink more, and experience more stress. All these things weaken our immune systems and leave our bodies more susceptible to illnesses. You don’t need to be getting run down with so many extra holiday smooches coming your way. That’s why practicing mindfulness in the face of a stressful holiday season is the best way to stay grounded and healthy and to ensure a smooth entry into the new year. Being mindful in our everyday lives, and especially during the holiday season, can have a huge positive impact on the way we engage and navigate through social situations and stressful times. It’s important to come into the holiday season feeling strong and healthy. Try to adhere to your regular diet and workout plan as much as possible during the holiday season. The body likes routine and functions at its best when we are staying in balance with proper nutrition and regular exercise. During the holidays, follow these tips to maintain a healthy and pleasurable party experience.
EAT BEFORE YOU GO OUT Don’t starve yourself before attending a party, thinking you’ll want to save room to eat more later. Eating a huge meal in one sitting is taxing on the body and will cause drowsiness, lethargy, and weight gain.
LIMIT ALCOHOL Alcohol is full of empty calories and causes the opposite of mindfulness, mindlessness.
DRINK WATER At least 1.5 liters per day.
SOCIALIZE AWAY FROM THE FOOD TABLE Standing near the food can cause unwanted temptation.
PRACTICE MINDFULNESS Being mindful is simply being present and deliberate in the way we interact with the world and with ourselves. Be aware of everything that we put into our bodies. Staying mindful during the holidays means paying attention to how we are caring for ourselves physically and spiritually. -Scott is a local Registered Dietitian Nutritionist specializing in men’s health and wellness programs. Learn more at sohnnutrition.com.
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OCT.10-12,2020 | atlantapride.org
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Matt’s day job is as communication director for Dad’s Garage Theater here in Atlanta, but he is also a renowned artist known for his works The Hate Shield, Atlanta’s HIV+ Population Now, and We All Live a With HIV (#wealllivewithhiv). He is also a writer for Vice, Slate, HuffPo, et cetera, and he paid for grad school teaching aerobics and pilates. He is currently single but needs a handsome man to help him carry his tripod and 30-pound camera bag in the pursuit of the perfect shot. Noteworthy is that all the photos here are shot on a 35mm medium format vintage camera with no filter.
IG @itsjustmematt
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November 27 – December 4
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Now and until December 24 Alliance Theatre, Coca-Cola Stage
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Savor a seasonal beverage
Turn on the holiday tunes
Throw a holiday party
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Put up decorations
10 THINGS THAT’LL GET YOU IN THE SPIRIT No matter how you celebrate, it’s all about the mood
Take a little time off to unwind
Go on a holiday-themed date
Watch a few holiday classics
32 | 11.27.19
Put up lights inside or out
Cozy up with someone
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If it requires a lot of fake smiling, I probably won’t come
I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anyone. Apologize to me now.
Him: You’re such a sweet guy. There has to be a catch!
Me: No catch! God just brought us together for a reason
Him: Aaaand there it is …
Dear Apple, Hulu. Netflix, Amazon, CBS, NBC, now Disney, and everyone else creating all that delicious streaming content: We’re not going to pay for eight of these. Work it out.
Asking for a Friend Can I say my stomach is flat even though the “L” is silent? Not to brag, but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions
DADDY JOKE ALERT I’m done tucking in shirts. People complaining that I’m invading their personal space.
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I need a “skip intro” button for those dates that are really just hookups
TAURUS (APR. 20 - MAY 20) It could be that close friends or family members are in sharp disagreement regarding a certain issue. Try not to be too distressed by divisions among the people you love.
GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUN. 20) There is a great deal of emotion and drive to the day, just the way you like it. Make sure you don’t get stuck with the short end of the stick as the day comes to a close.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 - DEC. 21) You may be barking up the wrong tree this week. Before you waste all your energy on your podium proclaiming your thoughts to the world, it would behoove you to stop, look around, and notice your audience.
CANCER (JUN. 21 - JUL. 22) You’re going to be a valuable asset to others today because of your rational mind and ability to think things through clearly. Do your best to avoid fights, even though it will be tempting for you and others to want to let off some steam.
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 - JAN. 19)
LEO (JUL. 23 - AUG. 22)
In an attempt to merge with infinity, you might overlook some basic life principles. Be careful about being seduced by those who want you to be involved in their drama. You may not even realize how deep a hole you’ve dug until it’s too late.
In your attempts to always be the nice, helpful one, you might find that you’re compromising some of your values. Know that balance and harmony are wonderful things, but they aren’t always worth the price of self-sacrifice.
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 - FEB. 18)
VIRGO (AUG. 23 - SEP. 22)
Feel free to stand up for yourself, a cause, or another person this week, even if you know it will cause tension among the others around you. A heated argument is likely to ensue, and it wouldn’t be surprising if you were the catalyst.
Actions could be quick and intense this week. Things may hit you like lightning, so be prepared for just about anything. Mentally stabilize yourself before interacting with others. Dress to demonstrate your power.
PISCES (FEB. 19 - MAR. 20) Your mind is apt to be fixed on one thing this week, and you won’t rest until you’ve obtained it. Don’t be surprised if you have to put up a bit of a fight in order to accomplish this goal, whatever it may be.
ARIES (MAR. 21 - APR. 19) Things may happen right under your nose this week, and you may not even be aware of it. The thing that will be obvious is your reaction to the situation when this hidden event suddenly comes to light.
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LIBRA (SEP. 23 - OCT. 22) Your playful attitude is apt to be opposed by someone who refuses to see things your way. Walk away from those who aren’t committed to helping the situation. Prove to others that even though you may be happy, it doesn’t mean you’re gullible.
SCORPIO (OCT. 23 - NOV. 21) This is one of those weeks where you’re trying to paint a large area, but you only have a small brush. Go easy on yourself and get a large brush. Make your strokes gigantic so you can cover more area with less effort.
By Mikkel Hyldebrandt Trouble in the love department? With sex? Or just people in general? Send us your queries, questions, and problems, and you’ll get answers served straight up and with a little ice.
I am seeing a guy, and although he is great, there are a couple of things that are starting to raise a red flag. You see, I have never seen him interact with my dog or acknowledge she is in the room even when she comes to greet him at the door. One time, I also saw him pushing the dog out of the way when he thought I wasn’t looking. It wasn’t violent or cruel, just more of a ‘get away from me’ kind of move. When I asked him about it, he told me he wasn’t a dog person at all, and that he didn’t know how to go about canines. I gave him a few pointers, but nothing has changed – he acts as if the dog doesn’t exist. Should I take this a warning sign? Sincerely Can I Get a Woof? Dear Can I Get a Woof? Yes, it is a huge red flag. You have a pet, and you are seeing someone who doesn’t even acknowledge that part of you and actively acts as if your dog isn’t even there. And the fact that he pushed the dog when he thought you weren’t looking only has me thinking about what he could potentially do to the dog if you weren’t there at all! Speaking from experience, I had a boyfriend for a brief time, who acted similarly to the guy you are seeing now. He wouldn’t interact with my dog at all, and he would be visibly annoyed if it got too close (he was annoyed about just about anything anyways, but still, you get the picture). It turned out that he was a violent, manipulative sociopath, and I wish to this day that I had taken that warning sign seriously, so I could have spared myself the physical abuse and the misery of dealing with his worthless being. Him not being a dog person is one thing, but the fact that he doesn’t want even to try to engage with such a huge part of your life should be taken very seriously. You know you can – and will – do better than this guy! You and your dog deserve better. 38 | 11.27.19
When I was going through our closet to put together a clothing donation for a charity, I found a box full of BDSM toys. My partner and I have been together for five years now, and I always thought we had a great, albeit ‘normal’ sex life. Now that I found this box, I feel like I don’t know my partner at all. Is it even his, and if he is into that stuff, are we on totally different levels? Furthermore, what does this mean to the sex we’re having? Is he using these toys with someone else? I don’t know how to start this conversation with him. I’m afraid of what he might say. Help, please! Sincerely Sex Toy Story Dear Sex Toy Story First of all, think of this box of toys more as a conversation starter than a threat. You may feel that your partner is hiding something from you, but so are you for not bringing it up with him. In a way, you are both keeping this at arm’s length, which is keeping everything perfectly vanilla so far. It is scary to acknowledge bigger issues in a relationship, but facing them also allows for a deeper and more genuine connection. You need to tell him what you found, or you’ll be putting a bigger wedge between you. This is also a perfect opportunity for you to talk about your sex life. Have you been satisfied with the sex? Has he ever expressed an interest in BDSM with you? Did he ever plan to tell you about his interest in BDSM? Do you have negative views of BDSM, and why? Opening up about these things will bring you closer together and also teach you both a valuable lesson about keeping secrets in a relationship.
NEED ANSWERS? REACH OUT TO US, AND YOU WILL GET THEM! SEND YOUR BURNING QUESTIONS TO OUR EDITOR AT MIKKEL@PEACHATL.COM.