Peach Magazine Issue v3_i11 - "Yours Truly"

Yours Truly Q&A

I Am My Own Wife

St. Patty’s Alternatives Green Cocktails

Circle of Love

Iconic or Non-Traditional?

Interview

C Duncan: Health and Happiness

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CONTENTS MARCH 13, 2019

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We’re here, we’re queer, and we’re getting’ married! On June 26, 2015, the Supreme Court struck down all state marriage bans on same-sex marriage, and ever since, the LGBTQ community has been enjoying the right to marry who they love. A beautiful thing!

Although some traditions prevail, time has also shown that when gay people marry, they don’t adhere to a conventional marriage blueprint, but rather view it as a blank canvas where your own rituals and traditions can be drawn in.

So, in this issue, we asked our contributors to give us their take on gay marriage.

Mitzi Pennington asked her circle of friends about how they got hitched with someone for better or worse. (it’s mostly worse), Jamie Kirk considers the motivations for taking a relationship to the next level, and John Hilton (who is new to the fold) wonders why we always have to put a gay spin on things, even weddings.

That, and so much more in this ripe edition of Peach for you to sink your teeth into..

CONTRIBUTORS John Hilton Jamie Kirk Mirza Muftic Gregg Shapiro

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The content of Peach ATL Media is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice. The opinions expressed by any writer, advertiser, or other person appearing in the Peach ATL Media are not necessarily those of this publication, its management or staff. The information and materials appearing in the magazine are not guaranteed or warranted as to accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness, or suitability of the information and materials found or offered for a particular purpose. It shall be your responsibility to ensure that any products, services, or information available through Peach ATL Media meets your specific requirements. Peach ATL Media is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, content of information, changes, events, and schedules. The magazine contains information and material which is owned by or licensed to Peach ATL Media, including but not limited to articles, advertisements, design, layout, graphics, and logos. No part or portion of Peach ATL Media may be reproduced in any way without the prior written consent of the publisher.

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6 | 03.13.19

Miss Richfield’s Gender Bender In her all-new show “Gender Fluids,“ Miss Richfield will attempt to find non-binary answers to our increasingly complex world. ith all new music, new videos, new W costumes, and a healthy heap of participation, this new show promises to celebrate all the genders across the spectrum.

Minnesota native, King created the character with a rich history that begins with her lifelong goal of being crowned beauty queen of her first-ring suburb of Minneapolis.

Miss Richfield is winning over theater audiences around the country with an interactive format that combines homespun warmth and edgy improv, leaving audiences in hysterics. Dedicating her life to the friendly citizens and responsible merchants of her hometown of Richfield, Minnesota, “where butter is a spice and gravy is a beverage”, Miss Richfield 1981 is fast becoming one of America’s national treasures.

What makes Miss Richfield unique is the combination of midwestern sensibilities with an off-the-page humor, stemming from her creator Russ King. A former journalist and

Tickets via plazaatlanta.com/events.

THE WHAT, WHEN,

and WHERE

WHEN: Sat March 16 7 pm 8 | 03.13.19

WHAT: Miss Richfield 1981 Gender Fluids

WHERE:

PLAZA ATLANTA

May 4th, 2019 | Heretic 9:00PM - 3:00AM $20 ADVANCE (AND UNTIL 11:00PM DAY OF) $25 AFTER 11:00PM | 21+ ID REQUIRED

Tickets available at: joininghearts.org

The Love Keeps Growing

By Mikkel Hyldebrandt Out Front Theatre presents I Am My Own Wife, the Pulitzer and Tony Award-winning play that tells the story of real-life trans woman Charlotte von Mahlsdorf. Peach spoke to trans actor Peter Smith, who takes on the eponymous task of playing all 35 roles in the play.

Tell us a little about yourself.

I’m a standup comedian, actor and performance artist based in New York City. The Great Plains and the West is home, that’s where my family lives. I’m down only in Atlanta for rehearsals and the run of the show. After these six weeks, it’s back up North for me unless I meet the man of my dreams! But Georgia’s own Flannery O’Connor was right when she said a good man is hard to find.

Tell us a little bit about of I Am My Own Wife.

On a surface level, ‘I Am My Own Wife’ tells the story of a playwright named Doug Wright falling in love with the life of Charlotte Von Mahlsdorf, a trans woman who navigated Nazi Germany and Communist oppression in East Berlin. It is written to be played by one actor, driving home a deeper cut which is that humans contain multitudes. What I find most interesting is that this play is also about how the truth can be told and how different people hear it.

You are talking on all 35 roles in the play – how do you prepare for such an eponymous task?

As an actor, I prepared for this as I would any other acting job. Memorizing my character’s lines, discovering their wants and needs and researching the world within the play.

It’s just multiplied by thirty-five. I wish my time could be multiplied that much, but don’t we all? The only major difference in this process is that I’ve leaned on my loved ones way more than a usual gig. The emotional and physical demands of this play can become very overwhelming, and it is easy to lose track of myself in the midst of the craziness.

My best friends and siblings can bring me back to Earth.

I’ve called them sobbing multiple times and even if they don’t pick up, it’s almost more comforting to know that I can call them in the first place. I’m beyond lucky to have them and also to have such an amazing director, Graham Miller. He’s based in New York too and is so smart, sensitive and tactful. He’s had a major effect on me as an artist and a professional. I grow every day because of him. He has this innate sense of leadership that I trust completely. This production is just as much his as it is mine. We’re also both Virgos, which is adorable to me.

The role of trans woman, Charlotte, has been taken on by numerous performers – some trans and some not. What do you think it brings to the play to have a trans actor in the role of a trans character?

Trans actors have historically been denied this quality of writing and exposure. In the play, after she receives a cultural medal of honor from the government on German national television, Charlotte talks about visibility. She says, “I thought, it’s good because other people see that a transvestite can work.” She goes on to say “If other people -

10 | 03.13.19

heterosexual people - they look at the television, and they read the newspapers, and they say, “Ah! He or she is able to work, ja?”

Has I Am My Own Wife impacted your own journey as trans?

I owe a lot to this play. I saw the original Broadway production as a teen when it was on tour in Chicago. My nascent dysphoria was calmed so much by Charlotte’s story. Trans visibility was few and far between in 2004.

In my standup set, I joke about how up until a couple of years ago, trans characters in media had exclusively been murderers in lipstick. Buffalo Bill in Silence of The Lambs for instance. Despite not knowing the precise root of my dysphoria at the time, let alone what “transgender” meant exactly, I was unconsciously desperate to see a trans person that wasn’t a fictional homicidal psychopath. Those depictions were invented by lazy cis writers using identity as shock and gimmick. By seeing this play and learning about Charlotte, I was lead down a path of researching queer ancestors, something I continue to do avidly. I’m so excited to not only show Charlotte to Atlanta but also be visible myself as a proud trans person. Being trans is such an amazing gift, and I’m so happy to share it.

I Am My Own Wife touches on various major subjects like politics, race, sexuality, et cetera.

Why do you think that the play still carries such a punch today?

This play has never been more relevant. Literal Nazis are running rampant, enabled by our President who would rather be a Dictator. His regime’s obsession with borders, exclusion and twisting the truth is sickening.

-I Am My Own Wife will play March 14-30 at Out Front Theatre. Go to outfronttheatre.com for information on showtimes and ticketing.

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Cirle of

Gay marriage is still relatively new, so there really isn’t a universal blueprint to how it should be, but for many, the commitment of marriage starts with the never-ending circle of a ring. So do you go with tradition or do you forego tradition altogether when choosing a symbol of your love? Here are some traditional and not so traditional choices.

Part 1

By Mikkel Hyldebrandt

It doesn’t get any more traditional than a simple gold wedding band 14k Yellow Gold Wedding Band (4mm), $225 – from Shaneco.com

Traditional Iconic, classic, and classy. Traditional wedding rings appeal to a lot of LGBT couples because it is the most recognizable symbol of their commitment to love.

Who says you can’t have a few stones in your wedding band? After all, it signifies precious love!

Princess Cut Diamond and Round Black Sapphire Ring (7mm), $1,700 – from Shaneco. com

Another way to show unity is to get a matching ring set 1/2 CT. T.W. Diamond Matching Wedding Band Set 10K White Gold, $850 – from mytriorings.com

A ring can easily be a little more substantial on a man’s hand, so try a flat instead of a domed shape.

Flat Men’s Wedding Ring In White Gold (4mm), $465 – from brilliance.com

Other precious metals look just as great as silver and gold. Titanium, for instance, looks amazing and it can be finished almost any way you’d like.

Domed Sterling Silver Inlay Men’s Wedding Ring In Titanium, $300 - – from brilliance.com

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Continued on pg. 14 >>>>

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Cirle of Part 2

A simple way to move away from tradition is to choose an unexpected material – like textured meteorite which screams ‘love you to the moon and back.’

Textured Meteorite and Black Zirconium Ring (7mm), $1,075 – from Shane.com.

NonTraditional Since there is no blueprint for gay marriage, why not forego tradition altogether and choose alternative symbols of your love?

Keep it simple and inexpensive. A wooden ring looks cute, and you could possibly make it yourself for that extra adorable gesture.

Tennessee Whiskey Barrel Reclaimed Wood Ring, $55 - from etsy.com.

Who says a symbol of love needs to be a ring? A nice watch would be a great symbol to exchange since you would automatically look at it every day.

Gucci Dive Watch (45mm), $1,380 Put a ring on it – but not your finger … An engraved cockring is far from traditional but both romantic and sexy.

Sarge Stainless Steel Cock Ring, $30 (engraving not included) – from tomoffinlandstore.com.

Seriously cuffed! A bracelet is another piece that nicely symbolizes your love.

Degs & Sal Gold Stealth Cuff, $295 – from degsandsal.com.

14 | 03.13.19

Vision of What?

by John Hilton

Images courtesy of Warner Bros.

We’ve had federal legal gay marriage for less than four years now, and already we are doing our best to reshape the concept of marriage in our own gay image. What’s up with that?

My friend was outraged. In preparation of him and his boyfriend’s big gay wedding, a relative had asked who was going to walk down the aisle.

That was after saying he was excited to go to a ‘real’ gay wedding. Although I understand why my friend could be upset, I think an eyeroll rather than a fit would be an appropriate reaction. Asked why he was ‘literally outraged,’ he responded that he was so tired of all the heteronormativity being forced upon them just because they chose to get married. That he and his soon-to-be husband had decided to forego tradition and make up their own rules.

Anyone – gay or straight – should be allowed to do whatever they want, especially since they are spending thousands on celebrating their union.

But here’s what made me think about their particular vision of love; just about four years ago, when gay marriage was still just barely legal in a few states, we all (myself included) was appalled by the fact that the LGBTQ community was denied the right to marry. Then gay marriage was legalized federally, and now years later, we are already complaining about that thing we pined for just four years ago?

Traditions are abandoned, and even our relationships are being re-interpreted, so that just about every married couple has a third or they are open, which means they are doing it with half of the town. I get it, there is no need to follow a ritual that has been shaped by heterosexuality through thousands of years, but it seems that now we have the right to marry, we are doing our darndest to reshape it in our own gay image.

16 | 03.13.19

Yes, the relative was extremely insensitive when assuming a gay couple would adhere to heteronormative traditions, but I’m sure it came from a genuine place of wanting to express acceptance and gratitude. He just hasn’t been keeping up. And to be honest, it is kinda hard to keep up when it seems like we are steel-set on molding the very institution we sought so long to be a part of.

But here’s the thing. The right to marry was something the LGBTQ community desperately needed. Perhaps not so much so we could actually marry, but more because it was one of the last bastions (at least on paper) to establish equality for all regardless of sexuality. No more discrimination and the last shred of proof that homosexuality is just a normal variant of adult sexuality.

I don’t know if I want to get married. If I meet the right person, I probably will. And right now, I am enjoying the way the LGBTQ community is flexing its relationship muscle in a (sex)positive way that is shaking things up a little. So if I do decide to get married, I’ll probably end up doing exactly what my friend is doing right now; reshaping the concept of marriage in our own gay image. It’s my right, you know.

-John Hilton likes to put things in perspective and sometimes on point which can either make him the favorite or the troublemaker at a swanky couple’s dinner party. Deeply immersed in the gay community, he sometimes feels the need to travel in stealth mode as to not upset the pond.

The opinions expressed in this column are those of the writer. They do not reflect the views of the publication.

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Cocktails Go Green

by Mikkel Hyldebrandt

Who says green beer is the only celebratory drink on St. Patrick’s Day? Why not change it up with some festively green cocktail recipes for those who would like to cheers to St. Patty’s Day with an alternative to the same old beer. To boot, these recipes only call for five ingredients or less, so you can spend less time prepping and more time celebrating!

Shamrock Pinch Ingredients 2 ounces Barefoot Moscato 1/2 ounce Irish Whiskey 1-1/2 ounce Orange Juice 1-1/2 ounce Ginger Beer 1/8 Fresh Lime Instructions • Place ice in a tall glass.

• Add wine, whiskey, and orange juice • Top with ginger beer • Squeeze fresh lime into drink and drop the shell into the glass

Luck O’ the Irish Apple Sipper Ingredients 3 ounces Barefoot Moscato Spumante Bubbly 1 ounce Irish Whiskey 1 ounce Apple Juice Apple Slice Garnish Instructions • Combine Irish Whiskey and apple juice in cocktail shaker with ice.

Shake to blend and chill. Strain into champagne flute. Top with Moscato Spumante. Garnish with apple slice.

Pinch Me Prosecco Ingredients 3 ounces Barefoot Bubbly Prosecco – chilled ¾ ounce lime juice ¾ ounce simple syrup Lime wheel Instructions • Combine lime juice and simple syrup in a cocktail shaker with ice • Shake to chill • Strain into a chilled cocktail glass and top with Barefoot Bubbly Prosecco • Garnish with a lime wheel

18 | 03.13.19

Photos and recipes provided by Barefoot Wines

peachATL.com | 19

Health and Happiness an interview with out singer/songwriter C Duncan

By Gregg Shapiro

We may only be a few months into the new year, but it’s safe to say that Health (FatCat) by gay singer/ songwriter C Duncanwill find a place on my 2019 best-of list at the end of the year. At turns gorgeous (the title track, “Care” and “He Came From The Sun”), undeniably danceable (“Pulses & Rain”, “Impossible”), irresistibly retro (“Stuck Here With You” and “Somebody Else’s Home”) and sometimes all three at once (“Talk Talk Talk” and “Holiday Home”), Health is music that is good for you. I spoke with Duncan about the album shortly before its March 2019 release.

Chris, for those who might not be familiar with your work, would you mind saying a few words about releasing your three full-length albums as C Duncan, as opposed to Chris Duncan.

My name is actually Christopher Duncan, but I’ve shortened it to C Duncan for my pop style of music. I also write classical music, which I do under the name Christopher Duncan. I thought for the pop world, I’d make it a bit cooler and snappier.

It worked! Your new album Health finds you working with an outside producer (Craig Potter) and musicians, including

20 | 03.13.19

a youth choir (Hallé Youth Choir). What was it about these songs that necessitated such a move?

With these songs, I w a n t e d to make something b i g g e r sounding than my previous albums.

I’ve always toyed with the idea of having strings and a choir, but because of the way I used to record, which was pretty much in my bedroom or living room, I couldn’t seem to get a choir into my house. As I was writing the songs, I thought I better start writing arrangements for other instruments and other singers with the hopes of going into the studio. Then I went on tour with (the band) Elbow and got to know Craig (Potter) well. I thought it would be a perfect match to go into the studio with him to make the album I wanted to make.

There’s a bit of a 1960s vibe to Health, from the David Hockney-esque cover image to many of the musical arrangements on the album.

Yes, I guess there is, in a way, although that wasn’t a conscious thing. I am very inspired

by David Hockney, as you could see from the artwork. I think it’s just my songwriting, because I love listening to Dionne Warwick and the old Burt Bacharach songs, and the Mills Brothers and

Ink Spots and the old barber shop quartets, so I guess that just filtered in, but it wasn’t deliberate to make it sound `60s. It just came out that way.

I detect the influence of gay singer/ songwriter John Grant in “He Came From The Sun”, as well as Prefab Sprout “Wrong Side of the Door” and The High Llamas on the title cut. Am I on the right track in terms of some of these other musical influences?

Absolutely. Definitely. Especially John Grant. He’s been a big influence on me. There’s this ballad writing that he does, certainly on the Queen of Denmark album. Actually, I love his most recent album (Love Is Magic) musically, and also his willingness to be so open about everything that he writes about. I find that such a great starting point for his music. He says things as they are.

It’s easy to get into his head-space. There’s no mystery surrounding his music, it’s there for all to see.

Speaking of “He Came From the Sun”, it sounds to me like one of the most profound coming out songs I’ve heard in a long time.

I wrote that around the same time as the whole Chechnyan anti-gay purge was started. That had a big effect on me. It got me thinking about my own coming out, finding out who I was, and how easy a time I’ve had. Even though I had my struggles, for most people to come out there is that struggle of having to come out as anything.

It’s mind-boggling to think that such things (as the anti-gay violence in Chechnya) still go on in the world. That, combined with the relationship I had with my ex-partner, whose father was still very homophobic. He couldn’t get his head around the fact that his son was gay and he wouldn’t discuss it. We went out for just over a year. I never met his father because it just wasn’t worth it. It would have caused too much uproar in the family, even though I got to know his mom well. It got me thinking about my own situation. How fortunate I am, but also how it just depends from place to place and family to family how these things will affect you; especially coming out.

I think so. Certainly in “Blasé”, it was much more tongue in cheek. “Impossible” is about my current relationship. My partner, who I’ve been with for a couple of years, used to work on the other side of Scotland, working night time hours, and I was working during the day. “Blasé” is basically a sort of “fuck you” track done in a slightly jaunty way [laughs]. I had fun writing it.

It’s like, “I’m over it now, but I’m still going to write a snippy song about it.”

I also love the dance vibes of “Holiday Home” and “Pulses & Rain”. Are you someone who likes to go out dancing?

I do like dancing, yes. I listen to quite a lot of upbeat electronic dance music. I tend to dance around my house a lot, not so much out in clubs anymore.

Are there dance remixes of those two tracks in the works?

I don’t know (about the others) at the moment, but there is for “Talk Talk Talk”. As things go on, we tend to get quite a few remixes made. I’ll do a remix for another artist and they’ll do one for me.

As the campaign goes along, I’m guessing we’ll end up with some remixes of those two tracks certainly.

What are the chances that your fans stateside will get to experience you live in concert?

I would absolutely love to come back out to the States. At the moment, we’re basically waiting to see how the album goes down and then hopefully get some funding and then I’ll come straight back to the States again. I was there at the end of 2017 with Elbow and I just loved it. I loved the

Photo: Jordan Curtis Hughes

“Impossible” and “Blasé”, which has an emotional quality similar to “Impossible” are presented in unexpectedly upbeat arrangements. Was that done intentionally to lighten the delivery of the messages? peachATL.com | 21

ATLANTA BLACK JACK TOURNAMENT PHOTOS: Andrea Dwyer

22 | 03.13.19

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MSR GRANDING REOPENING PHOTOS: Andrea Dwyer

24 | 03.13.19

peachATL.com | 25

HSL JERSEY PARTY @ MIDTOWN MOON PHOTOS: Andrea Dwyer

26 | 03.13.19

I AM MY OWN WIFE • WINNER •

PULITZER PRIZE FOR DRAMA & TONY AWARD - BEST PLAY

The fascinating tale of Charlotte von Mahlsdorf, a real-life German trans woman who managed to survive both the Nazi onslaught and the repressive East German Communist regime.

By Doug Wright MARCH 14-30, 2019 Tickets: $15 and up Out Front Theatre Company 999 Brady Avenue, Atlanta

www.OutFrontTheatre.com

April 6, 2019 Emory University Grab some friends and spend a fun day competing in your favorite version of schoolyard games. Tug-of-war, 3-legged and wheelbarrow races, and more.

Two fun events to raise money for AIDS vaccine research and local service organizations including Emory Vaccine Center, Positive Impact, AID Atlanta, Jerusalem House and HERO for Children.

May 18-19, 2019 A 2-day 200-mile bike ride across the beautiful Georgia countryside.

Shorter options are available, including relays.

Register for one or both events, volunteer and/or donate to a participant at actioncyclingatl.org

Ryan moved from Ohio to Atlanta about seven years ago, where he works as a High Volume Recruiter and Lead Concierge. He loves the outdoors where you can catch him playing kickball, tennis, running, biking, climbing, or rollerskating on any given day, which also helped him lose over 80 lbs. Ryan loves riding around in his Mini Cooper with the sunroof open, hanging out with his group of best friends, listening to music, traveling, or going to church. In short, he really enjoys life in as many ways as possible!

Ryan Spears

30 | 03.13.19

Are you Interested or Committed?

By Jamie Kirk

When it comes to being paid for what you love, are you interested or committed? When it comes to sacrificing your free time to do something, are you interested or committed? All too often we stroll passively through life, intrigued by a slew of options and possibilities but not committed enough to making any of them a reality.

We all struggle from time to time with commitment and frankly have thoughts like “I don’t know enough”, “What if it turns out I am wasting my time?”, “what if the level of commitment is not reciprocated?” “I just have too much going on right now”. It’s perfectly normal to have these thoughts because as we get older, we don’t like surprises. We don’t like to exercise multiple options and we certainly don’t like the risk of being wrong.

In order to be committed to something or someone, we have to conduct a multi-point inspection in our heads.

It could look a little something like this: We Have to Believe It, Before We Can See It Success in any part of our lives begins with our mindset. A faulty belief system or making bad assumptions is a surefire way to get blown off course. In order to stay-the-course you have to be willing to go all out. You have to strip yourself of any preconceived notions and just go with it. You have to take a good hard look at where you are in life and decide that nothing will get in your way of making a much-needed change. It’s that diligence and tenacity that will help you in your first time towards being a committed person.

Assign A Date If you don’t attach a drop-dead date to your goal(s), you will forever be starting over and over. You have to begin with the end in mind. Starting a goal or a task with a date or dates that you will be willing to measure progress. Nail down exactly what you want, the documented plan to get there and a few milestone dates to drive your momentum to reach your destination. If this step is done right, you will burst with anticipation and excitement with the closer you get to the finish line.

32 | 03.13.19

Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing Watch out for competing priorities and things that can shift your focus. You have to be willing to say no to people with conflicting ideas. It will be important to keep post-it notes around you that keeps the tasks at hand, visual and within eye shot. If you focus on activities that are not important, you are risking your progress and will likely feel stagnant. Keep in mind the ultimate goal should be to live, work, and be with someone on your own terms; not anyone else’s.

Don’t Try to Do It Alone It is very easy to sit and write our goals and those areas you want to see a change. Totally easy breezy. But when you tell your bestie or your significant other your plans, you tend to have more accountability to yourself and to them for reaching your end-state. Sharing on social media, or perhaps at church or even in a community forum online, you will expose yourself to be people asking for progress updates. status checkin’s and looking for the change you have committed yourself to. At the end of the day, you have to surround yourself with like-minded people.

Being committed is more than just words; you have to put action behind those words. Make sure that what you are interested in is just not anything shiny object that distracts you from your ultimate goal of sheer freaking happiness. Make sure to give it your all. Even on those most difficult days. If you are wanting to be committed to a person; do it. If you are wanting to be committed to being healthier (mind, body and soul); do it. If you are wanting to be committed to be a better parent, child or friend; do it.

Whatever you decide to do, do it now and do it quickly. Remember life is short to not give something or everything your absolute all.

Jamie Kirk works for a software company and is a certified spinning instructor. He also enjoys yoga, swimming, bicycling and running. He aspires to start a blog about what we put in our bodies not only fuels our body but our mind and spirit as well. Follow Jamie on IG @tysonsdad

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HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY 4PM

SUNDAY MARCH 17TH CORNBEEF HASH & CABBAGE GREEN BEER

1544 PIEDMONT AVE NE ATLANTA, GA 30324 BEHIND PUBLIX

“For Better or Best” Spring brings with it colorful blooms, sunnier skies, and warmer temperatures (unless you live in Georgia, at which point, just go along with whatever it throws at you). For most people, this season symbolizes birth, awakens feelings like joy and reminds them the need to get ready for bikini season.

It’s no wonder many people have their weddings in Spring. Yes, it is the joyous time of year that has people walking down isles with children (or cartoon animals) holding their gown trains, and saying they’ll take someone they met ‘in sickness and in health’ and ‘for better or for worse’. I always found it interesting that, historically speaking, many cultures had traditions of having men “buy” or “win” their woman by giving offerings they felt the woman was worth in some countries, or saying “babe, you’re everything to me” in others. In today’s age, women are taking more control over who THEY select as a partner. I spoke with a few friends on how they went about getting married to give options to today’s empowered person looking for a husband.

A good friend of mine, whom I met through a Reddit for Sailor Moon, told me how she met her husband via mailing service. I’m sure you’ve heard of a mail order bride service where men search profiles online to find their perfect spouse (usually from Russia). But have any of you heard of Male Order? Similar to its female counterpart, this service helps people find their perfect husband. My Reddit friend, username Sailor Yaas Kween, told me how she met the love of her life through this service. Male-ordering can be done easily with An-Actual-Amazon Prime, so getting your husband can be as quick and easy as free 2-day delivery! Unfortunately for my friend, who I never learned the real name of, her husband came late.

Luckily for her, they gave her a full refund! But if you’re feeling in the loving mood and want to get hitched, this is the fastest way to do it! And it’s pretty fun watching the delivery drones drop off your husband from the sky.

Another friend of mine used the service Tentative Hubby™️. This upstart company, located in Juchitan in southern Mexico, offers ‘husband trials’. You can have the man of your dreams sent to you, marry them with all the holy (and legal) benefits, and if you’re not completely satisfied within sixty days, return them to get your money back, minus shipping and manhandling. My friend, Karen Kocktail, ordered a man who was a lumberjack with a love of accordions. However, her “henneymoon” (approximately three weeks after meeting the guy) was cut short when Karen found out he had dreams of moving her to Sweden to start an ABBA cover band called BAABA, she knew it had to end. What’s also great about the service is they hire people to give condolences for your failed marriage and remind you that “you’re too good for him” and “you’re a boss bitch so don’t fret about it”.

If these cis-normative marriage options aren’t winning you over, travel to Japan! They offer various alternative wedding preferences like marrying a robot! As pioneers of technology, they have some of the most advanced A.I. around. Their robots are smart and seldom emotional (unless you program them to be). If you’re more of a Western culture enthusiast, get into a high-level position of corporate America and marry your job! Or, if you’re worried marriage will take away from your online Insta-persona, try marrying yourself! Who knows, you just might get to love your “partner” one day. And if all else fails, listen to your childish friends who say : “if you love it so much, how about you marry it”. It might be the best decision you make!

I hope you find someone so special that you tie the knot with them! And if you happen to like solitude, but are bombarded with dates and potential mates, here’s a first date idea: don’t show up. Stand them up, and be alone forever. Happy Springtime marriages and bliss!

Yours in holy matriarchy,

Mitzi Pennington is the self-proclaimed sex symbol and advice-giving-guru alter ego of Mirza Muftic. She came from humble roots of middle America and married into money shortly after dropping out of college. Her late husband’s fortune allows her to travel the world and have a sense of enlightenment one normally gets from actually working for their money. Mirza has had none of those experiences in his life. On occasion, Mirza will perform as Mitzi around Atlanta. His other interests/day job include film editing, retouching, and stop-motion animation.

34 | 03.13.19

$20 ALL YOU CAN DRINK

4-7PM

SUNDAY MARCH 17TH FOOD SPECIALS

My European Spring That Never Awakened (Me)

By Jeff Fuller

You deserve Personalized Care & Individual Attention – that’s what we deliver at Family Health Care of Atlanta • Participating in many clinical trials • Certiied HIV Specialist, American Academy of HIV Medicine • 20+ years experience in Family & HIV Care SPECIALIZING IN DERMATOLOGY, STD’S, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, UROLOGY, PSYCHIATRIC DISORDERS

JELLO SHOTS

1958 PIEDMONT RD NE ATLANTA, GA 30324

Mar 13 – March 20

Shebang! Summer Came Early This new dance party celebrates all the fantastic femalx and nonbinary DJs in Atlanta that for this inaugural edition includes Anonima and Zaida. Break out the tankinis and crop that top, because summer came early this year!

Life’s A Drag Lip Sync Drag Battle!

Softball season is in full swing, so come out to support the Atlanta Knights and the Atlanta Chargers as they host this beer bust and lip sync battle. Eight queens compete and the performers with the most tips take the crown.

Friday, March 15, 10 pm – 3 am The Star Community Bar

Saturday, March 16, 5-9 pm Midtown Moon

STAFF PICK!

The G8Yties 80s Dance Party – Music Video Edition Returning with one of Atlanta’s most popular 80s dance parties, G8Yties welcomes DJ Eric who will be playing his extensive collection of your favorite 80s songs with music videos on the big screen TVs throughout the Heretic.

Friday, March 15, 10 pm – 3 am The Heretic

St. Patty’s Stoplight Party It’s a go for all at this edition of the stoplight party where all lights have been set to green for St. Patty’s Day! DJ Neon the GlowGoBear will be spinning the beats for your golden moment on the dancefloor.

2019 Atlanta International Auto Show Automakers will have their latest models on display for you to touch, feel, and test-drive. This is the 37th anniversary of the biggest auto show of the Southeast, which will also showcase exotic and classic cars.

Saturday, March 16, 10 pm – 3 am Atlanta Eagle

March 20-24 Georgia World Congress Center - Building C

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THE ARMORY REUNION @ AMSTERDAM PHOTOS: MIKKEL

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OCTOBER 11-13,2019 atlantapride.org

MIDTOWN 1

Monroe Dr. NE

14

Amsterdam Ave.

NE ve . tA

Piedmont Park

on

11

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6 12th St. NE

18

Pi e

Juniper St. NE

14th St. NE

7

9

2

10th St. NE

10

. NE

19

oe Dr

e. NE Piedmont Av

Juniper St . NE

Peachtree St. NE

3

Monr

Charle s Alle n Dr . N E

12 W. Peachtree St. NW

15

16

4th St. NE

8

13

BARS Amsterdam Blake's Bulldogs Friends The Model T My Sister’s Room Ten Atlanta

5

Dining 502 Amsterdam Ave NE 227 10th St NE 893 Peachtree St NE 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE 699 Ponce De Leon Ave NE 66 12th St NE 990 Piedmont Ave NE

9 10 11 12

10 th & Piedmont Campagnolo Einstein's F.R.O.G.S

clubs 13 Atlanta Eagle

306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

14 Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave NE

spa/bath 15 Flex Spa

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991 Piedmont Ave NE 980 Piedmont Ave NE 1077 Juniper St NE 931 Monroe Cir NE

fitness

retail 8 Barking Leather

4

Ponce De Leon Ave. NE

Ponce De Leon Ave. NE

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

P o n ce D e Leo n Pl . N E

Spring St. NW

17

76 4th St. NW

16 17 18 19

G’s Midtown Henry’s Joe's on Juniper La Hacienda

219 10th St NE 132 10th St NE 1049 Juniper St NE 900 Monroe Dr NE

billards/Darts drag dancers leather non-smoking area Patio

When the world throws you Let be your savedandgay.com

Cheshire 23

ansley 21

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Piedmont Park BARS 2043 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1086 Alco St NE 1931 Piedmont Cir NE 2425 Piedmont Rd NE 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd

32 33 34 35 36

Midtown Moon Felix's The Hideaway Mixx Oscar's

805 Lambert Dr. NE, Suite A 2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1739 Cheshire Bridge Rd 2201 Faulkner Rd NE

Spa / bath 2103 Faulkner Rd NE 2135 Liddell Drive NE

1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 1544 Piedmont Ave NE 1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

Dining 38 Eclectic Bistro

Fitness 30 Gravitee Fitness

NE

.

clubs 28 Heretic 29 Tokyo Valentino

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39 38

Retail 26 Barking Leather 27 Southern Nights

41

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28 20

Dining 24 Las Margaritas 25 Roxx

Av

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.

25

BJ Roosters Opus 1 Tripps Woof's

31 Manifest 4 U 42 The Den

35

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40

32

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36

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33

. NE

Manchester St. NE

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22

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34

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26

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30

Lambert Dr.

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1600 Piedmont Ave NE 1425 Piedmont Ave NE

Retail 39 Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave NE 40 Brushstrokes/Pleasures 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

Fitness 41 Equilibrium Fitness

1529 Piedmont Ave, Suite L

NOT SHOWN

Mary's Sister Louisa’s Church Swinging Richards Lips Atlanta

1287 Glenwood Ave SE 466 Edgewood Ave SE 1400 Northside Dr NW 3011 Buford Hwy NE

peachATL.com | 43

A snapshot of Gay Atlanta’s favorite destinations. View their ads in Peach ATL & visit their websites for weekly event listings.

Bars & Clubs

EAST ATLANTA, GRANT PARK & EDGEWOOD

Retail

MIDTOWN

MARY’S

MIDTOWN

amsterdamatlanta.com

1287 Glenwood Ave SE

AMSTERDAM

502 Amsterdam Ave. NE

ATLANTA EAGLE

marysatlanta.com

SISTER LOUISA’S CHURCH

BARKING LEATHER AFTER DARK barkingleather.com

306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

sisterlouisaschurch.com

CHESHIRE

SWINGING RICHARDS

BARKING LEATHER

1400 Northside Dr NW

805 Lambert Dr NE

BULLDOGS

Dining

2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE

FRIENDS NEIGHBORHOOD BAR

MIDTOWN

736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

10thandpiedmont.com

atlantaeagle.com

306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

BLAKE’S ON THE PARK

blakesontheparkatlanta.com 227 10th St NE

893 Peachtree St NE

friendsonponce-atl.com

466 Edgewood Ave SE

swingingrichards.com

10TH & PIEDMONT

MODEL T

991 Piedmont Ave NE

699 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

einsteinsatlanta.com

modeltatlanta.com

EINSTEIN’S

MY SISTER’S ROOM

1077 Juniper St NE

66 12th St NE

frogsmidtown.com

mysistersroom.com

TEN ATLANTA

tenatlanta.com

990 Piedmont Ave NE

CHESHIRE

SOUTHERN NIGHTS VIDEO

ANSLEY BOY NEXT DOOR MENSWEAR boynextdoormenswear.com 1447 Piedmont Ave NE

GCB & PLEASURES

brushstrokesatlanta.com 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE

FROGS CANTINA

Fitness

931 Monroe Dr

MIDTOWN

G’S

gsmidtown.com 219 10th St NE

HERETIC

HENRY’S

2069 Cheshire Bridge Road

132 10th St NE

BJ ROOSTERS

JOE’S ON JUNIPER

hereticatlanta.com

barkingleather.com

henrysatl.com

URBAN BODY FITNESS urbanbodyfitness.com

500 Amsterdam Ave NE

CHESHIRE GRAVITEE FITNESS graviteeatl.com

bjroosters.com

joesonjuniper.com

2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

1049 Juniper St NE

OPUS 1

LA HACIENDA

Spas/Baths/Adult

900 Monroe Dr NE

MIDTOWN

1931 Piedmont Circle N

CHESHIRE

FLEX SPA

WOOFS

LAS MARGARITAS

76 4th St NW

2425 Piedmont Road NE

1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE

CHESHIRE

ANSLEY

ROXX

MANIFEST 4U

MIDTOWN MOON

1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE

FELIX’S

LIPS ATLANTA

THE HIDEAWAY

3011 Buford Hwy NE

1086 Alco St NE

TRIPPS

woofsatlanta.com

1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 1544 Piedmont Ave NE

MIXX

mixxatlanta.com

1492 Piedmont Ave NE

OSCAR’S

oscarsatlanta.com

1510 Piedmont Ave NE

44 | 03.13.19

lahaciendamidtown.com

lasmargaritasmidtown.com

DEKALB

atldragshow.com

2201 Faulkner Rd NE

flexspas.com

manifest4u.org

2103 Faulkner Rd NE

THE DEN

thedenatlanta.com

2135 Liddell Drive NE

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peachATL.com | 45

Ten dos and don’ts for gay weddings

WHETHER GAY OR STRAIGHT, YOU SHOULDN’T ASSUME THAT THIS IS A TRADITIONAL WEDDING

expect a non-traditional wedding

ask who’s the bride and groom

feel free to nix any traditions

ask if it is legal to marry (it is!)

check up on gay culture

question why certain people weren’t invited

celebrate LOVE!

question why certain conventions are broken

after party at a gay bar

attend if you think gay marriage is offensive

46 | 03.13.19

WE'RE HIRING Playmates and soul mates...

WE ARE SEEKING Motivated, Hard-Working, Innovative People to be Our Next Superstar Ad Sales Representatives.

Jumpstart Your Career by Joining Atlanta's Newest Gay Media Company!

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PRIDE Kickball Powered By GO Kickball

“Atlanta’s Premier Social Experience for the LGBT Community”

Get in the game this Spring!

Mondays at Piedmont Park | begins march 18 **Sign up as a team, small group or free agent** Registration closes mar 11

www.PRIDEKICKBALL.com peachATL.com | 47

Text your Peach Pits to 540-30-PEACH, or e-mail mikkel@PeachATL.com

Me: I can totally do this!

Him: Just follow the instructions

Is it just me or are drag queens kinda like scary clowns in heels and with vocal skills?

Me: What’s an applicator?

Him: The applicator is the tool that helps stick the lashes on Me: That kid just looked at me funny

Putting cucumber slices in your water won’t offset the fact that you chugged eight vodka sodas in an hour yesterday.

Him: Just tell him you’re gay – he’ll understand why you’re putting on lashes

On a scale of 1-10 (1 being mild itching, 10 being crippling agony), how much does your butthurt hurt?

Asking for a friend: Is it socially acceptable to ask your neighbor for a cup of vodka?

The way I see it, I have the same amount of gold medals as 99% of people that have been to the Olympics. So yeah, winning!

Don’t tell me to go big or go home.

Going home it literally one of my biggest goals in life.

Dad Joke Alert Instead of a picnic, why don’t we call it at dicknic and see where it goes?

48 | 03.13.19

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta!

LEO (JUL. 23 - AUG. 22) You rarely make plans during the week because you like to roll with your after work moods. And besides, the good times usually come to you without much work on your part. Tonight is right for casual happy hour drinks that morph into a late night supper with someone particularly special.

VIRGO (AUG. 23 - SEP. 22) You may be dealing with coworker problems, but let it go. The petty revenge you’ve been planning will only get in the way of completing that big project. And what could be better revenge, truly, than receiving a big promotion or raise because of the success of said project? Keep your eye on the prize and move on.

PISCES (FEB. 19 - MAR. 20)

LIBRA (SEP. 23 - OCT. 22)

You may have to start adopting fictitious names and phone numbers to keep guys from bugging you.

You’re too nice to tell guys to piss off, and herein is the root of your dilemma. So pass out the old faux name and info today. Guys will be psyched when they see that they got Joe Jonas’s phone number.

Expect your day to be like the arms of a metronome, constantly swinging left to right, pausing briefly at one extreme before racing back towards the other, never stopping anywhere in between. It could be a wild ride, and don’t expect the tempo to change any time soon.

ARIES (MAR. 21 - APR. 19)

SCORPIO (OCT. 23 - NOV. 21)

You will be ardently into the joy of life today! You see each moment as a blessing and you’ll want to make the most of all of them. What could be the source of such boundless bliss? Perhaps there’s a handsome man waiting for you in your very near future, and he’s not wearing pants.

You’ll be prancing and preening today, with so much high energy you’ll need to work it off somewhere -- so why not the gym? Let the stress of the workday roll off your shoulders when you break a sweat and ground yourself for the rest of the week with some deep stretches. Don’t forget to check out who else is working off some excess energy, though. You two may have more in common than you think.

TAURUS (APR. 20 - MAY 20)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 - DEC. 21)

Don’t let fast-paced people knock you off your game today. Some might call it plodding, but you prefer meticulous. In either case, you’ll be holding up traffic and not only because of the wide load. Did I say that in public? Let them know that rushing you won’t make you go any faster.

Today you’re feeling like a macho, macho man. You swagger with the confidence of a rock star yet with the refined manners of an English gentleman. You’ll be quite a catch for some lucky guy who doesn’t mind having his moon continually eclipsed by your sun.

GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUN. 20) You talk a good game, but can you really hit the bulls-eye? Be careful of exaggerated boasts today, as some may challenge you on them. It’ll be cool if they dare you to make a killer cheesecake. But if they ask you to drop your pants you may not be so self-assured.

CANCER (JUN. 21 - JUL. 22) A spat with your boss may leave you on the brink of explosion. Don’t allow professional problems to ruin your evening, though. Chant your mantra, take a few deep breaths and then follow them with some shots of tequila at happy hour with a few, very trustworthy coworkers. There’s no telling what you might say after a few cocktails.

50 | 03.13.19

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 - JAN. 19) You may have to rally the troops with strong words of motivation. Whether they buy that drivel depends on how forcefully you deliver it. But you better start working it because the clock is ticking, and once they go off on that extended lunch, nothing will get done.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 - FEB. 18) It’ll be like you’re hyper-charged with electricity today. That will make you extremely hard to handle for those who are attracted to you. Whenever they try to touch your voluminous power they will be zapped into nothingness. Kind of makes it hard to form meaningful relationships, doesn’t it?

By Mikkel Hyldebrandt Trouble in the love department? With sex? Or just people in general? Send us your queries, questions, and problems, and you’ll get answers served straight up and with a little ice.

T

he boyfriend and I have been together for a long time, and we are definitely starting to talk about marriage. But whenever we go beyond the actual wedding party, it seems we have wildly different opinions about how the union should work. Especially concerning money, we are not on the same page. I want a shared economy, and he wants to keep things separate with a prenup, so we won’t have to share assets if we get divorced. It’s like he doesn’t trust me with his money, and he practically expects us to get divorced. And that makes me mad. How can we tackle this so we can tie the knot?

Sincerely Premarital Mess Dear Premarital Mess There are so many more factors that play into getting married besides loving each other and planning a ceremony and party. You have to support each other, have shared goals for the future, and discuss the responsibilities in the relationship. And you have to talk finances!

Being one of the biggest reasons that couples split (whether straight or gay), this is extremely important. As you have experienced, it is a touchy and uncomfortable issue, and it can be difficult to see eye to eye on this one. In your case, start by examining why your boyfriend may be apprehensive about sharing finances. Does he have more money and assets than you? Do you have a history of overspending and debt? Does he? Is he just afraid of breaking down this last wall of being a couple? Once you start getting to the root cause of his worry on this topic, you will also learn what to do about it. A prenup is just a precaution; it’s not a foreboding of a broken relationship. And sharing financing will open up whole new possibilities in your (married) life like buying a home, going on trips, or investing in a new car. So start talking, and get this issue untied so you can tie the knot.

I

never want to get married. I’m already in this great relationship, and I don’t want to change anything about it. We are fine, and I get so irritated when people say that we should get married just to protect each other in case something should happen. We are both welloff, well-educated, and well-established so if something were to happen, we are just fine. How do I shut people up about this?!

Sincerely Marital Nix Dear Marital Nix Of course, you don’t have to get married if you don’t want to. No one can force you to do anything! But think about why your surroundings keep bringing this up. There is a great deal to be gained by making things just a little more official. By signing that marriage license, you effectively cover each other’s asses in case something should happen. Yes, we all get it; the foreboding shadow of ‘what if’ is not nice to have hanging over you, so why not spread a little sunshine instead and get married? Sure, it shouldn’t be a motivating factor to get married just because of financial reasons, but then how about getting married because you love each other? Because if there isn’t love, why are you even together? For practical reasons? There is no way you can keep living in your status quo bubble; things are bound to change somehow, so why not make a change that will also strengthen your relationship – both emotionally and fiscally.

NEED ANSWERS? REACH OUT TO US, AND YOU WILL GET THEM! SEND YOUR BURNING QUESTIONS TO OUR EDITOR AT MIKKEL@PEACHATL.COM.

52 | 03.13.19

    

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