Peach v3.i12 by David Atlanta Magazine

Live Your Art Queer As Art

Atlantaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Art Scene

Project Run-a-Way Fashion Meets Fundraising

Gen X Files

The First Bite of Peach

Interview

Dionne Warwick Keeps Shining

RUN-A-WAY FASHION COMPETITION

LEATHER & SWIMWEAR FASHION SHOW

SPECIAL GUEST PERFORMANCES

MARCH 30 6:00-9:00PM

DJ MIKE POPE COME SUPPORT 10 OF YOUR FAVORITE LOCAL BUSINESSES AS THEY BATTLE IT OUT IN A “MYSTERY BOX” FASHION DESIGN CHALLENGE BENEFITING PALS(PETS ARE LOVING SUPPORT)

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CONTENTS MARCH 20, 2019

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From the Editor

Andrea Dwyer andrea@peachatl.com

Good art can serve as a kind of tour guide to the world we live in. Whether past or contemporary, art has always been the creative expression that has held a mirror up to the world to be interpreted. It sounds complicated, I know, but getting into the art scene takes no more than finding out was is going on in the local art scene. So, we’ve asked Patrick Hanson – a local artist with a very exciting upcoming show of his own – to point out a few items that highlight the queer art scene in Atlanta right now. With the potential for some fine fashion artistry on the runway, Project Run-aWay is coming up on March 30 at the Heretic. The event uniquely pairs fashion with fundraising, and this year the beneficiary of all the fashionable fun is PALS Atlanta. Finally, I highly recommend our exclusive interview with trailblazer and legend, Dionne Warwick, who is to be honored with the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Recording Academy in May.

CONTRIBUTORS

Chris Azzopardi Darren Floro-Bryant Jeff Fuller Patrick Hanson Gregg Shapiro

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The content of Peach ATL Media is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice. The opinions expressed by any writer, advertiser, or other person appearing in the Peach ATL Media are not necessarily those of this publication, its management or staff. The information and materials appearing in the magazine are not guaranteed or warranted as to accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness, or suitability of the information and materials found or offered for a particular purpose. It shall be your responsibility to ensure that any products, services, or information available through Peach ATL Media meets your specific requirements. Peach ATL Media is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, content of information, changes, events, and schedules. The magazine contains information and material which is owned by or licensed to Peach ATL Media, including but not limited to articles, advertisements, design, layout, graphics, and logos. No part or portion of Peach ATL Media may be reproduced in any way without the prior written consent of the publisher. Unauthorized use of Peach ATL Media may give rise to claims for damages and or criminal offenses. Your use of the information or materials in Peach ATL Media is strictly at your own risk.

6 | 03.20.19

The Masters at Work at the High The new exhibition features 75 works by European artists that define the 19th and early 20th-century modernism including Degas, Cézanne, Gauguin, Manet, Matisse, Monet, van Gogh, and Picasso. pioneering collection and who shaped the look of the 20th century, including Pierre Bonnard, Georges Braque, Nicolas de Staël, Alberto Giacometti, Wassily Kandinsky, Henri Matisse, Amedeo Modigliani, and Pablo Picasso.

tlanta is quickly becoming a major art destination in the Southeast that attracts significant exhibitions and shows from all over the world. The recent Infinity Mirrors featuring Yayoi Kusama’s incredible infinity rooms was surefire proof of that, and the upcoming “European Masterworks: The Phillips Collection” continues the impressive lineup of world-class art exhibits right here in Atlanta.

This exhibition represents the highest artistical excellence, and even if you are just remotely into modern art, this shouldn’t be missed. For more info, please visit high.org.

The exhibition comprises 75 iconic paintings and sculptures from the Phillips Collection in Washington, D.C., which has been recognized as America’s first museum of modern art since it opened in 1921. The Impressionist, Post-Impressionist and Expressionist artworks on display at the High Museum in Atlanta exemplify the distinctive eye of collector Duncan Phillips who founded the museum in Washington, D.C. When you visit the exhibition, you will indeed experience the European masters of the emerging modernism in the 19th and early 20th-century. Just read through the breath-taking lineup of artists: You will encounter masterful examples of Romanticism and Realism by Eugène Delacroix, Jean-Auguste-Dominique Ingres, Honoré Daumier, Gustave Courbet and Édouard Manet in dialogue with masterpieces by Claude Monet, Alfred Sisley, Edgar Degas, Paul Cézanne, Paul Gauguin and Vincent van Gogh. Also featured are superb works by modern artists who held a special place in Phillips’

Pablo Picasso (Spanish, 1881–1973), Reclining Figure, 1934, oil on canvas. The Phillips Collection, Washington, D.C., gift of the Carey Walker Foundation, 1994. © 2018 Estate of Pablo Picasso/Artists Rights Society (ARS), New York

THE WHAT, WHEN,

and WHERE

WHEN: April 6 through July 14, 2019 8 | 03.20.19

WHERE: The High Museum of Art

WHAT:

“European Masterworks: The Phillips Collection”

April 6, 2019 Emory University Grab some friends and spend a fun day competing in your favorite version of schoolyard games. Tug-of-war, 3-legged and wheelbarrow races, and more. Two fun events to raise money for AIDS vaccine research and local service organizations including Emory Vaccine Center, Positive Impact, AID Atlanta, Jerusalem House and HERO for Children.

May 18-19, 2019 A 2-day 200-mile bike ride across the beautiful Georgia countryside. Shorter options are available, including relays.

Fashion Meets Fundraising By Mikkel Hyldebrandt Having lived in Atlanta for over 20 years, Thomas Le considers it home, and his many close friends are his extended family. As the event manager for Peach Media Holdings, he is deeply involved with so many non-profit local charities, which has also prompted him to launch his own event benefiting a local non-project: Project Run-a-Way. Tell us a little bit about why you created the event Project Run-a-Way. Project Run-a-Way was a chance for me to combine two of my passions; fashion and fundraising. The idea was to start a charity of my own initially, however, while going through that process and seeing just how many great local charities there were, I felt like my creative fundraising would be best utilized by allowing the Project Run-a-Way idea to benefit various local charities in our community. Last year the event benefitted Lost-n-Found Youth and this year it will be benefitting PALS (Pets Are Loving Support). The winners of this year’s Project Run-a-Way gets to pick the benefiting charity for next year’s event. What can participants expect at the event on March 30 at the Heretic? From the hottest Leather runway show from Bulldog Custom leather to a sizzling swimwear fashion show from Boy Next Door - there is something for everyone! We have ten sponsored teams comprised of some of your favorite local businesses that will each have to design a dress in using the “mystery box” of materials given to them. They will have one hour to complete the look before sending their models down the runway. And as always be on the lookout for a surprise performance. You have a vast group of friends involved in this event – how does that help set this event apart? My friends are my rock and support system; without them, I would never be able to pull off such a successful event. So many of our friends help volunteer for the is event including all of the fabulous models, so you will see some familiar faces walk down the runway. I like to really look at it as a testament to our community helping one another and being a family Tell us why you chose PALS Atlanta to be the beneficiary of the event? As a dog-owner and animal lover, I know personally just how much an animal’s love and support can offer you. The mission statement and what PALS stands for really

10 | 03.20.19

resonates with me. We want anyone living with HIV/AIDS or terminal illness to be able to hang onto their support system and loved ones as long as they can, and if Project Runaway can be of help to that, I think it’s amazing. What is it about partying for a cause that resonates so well with the Atlanta gay community? I have always said; a birthday party without a cake is just a meeting. A party without a purpose is just a gathering. To me, a party is a reason to get together and support great causes. Alan Collins at the Heretic has been gracious and beyond supportive with the community, and it’s a pleasure to work with him on events like the G8Yties 80s dance party and so many others. How can people get involved with Project Run-a-Way? We always need extra volunteers to help with the event. They can reach out to me on social media, or always feel free to come up to me at any event! I am always open to new ideas and helping other local charities coming up with ideas for fundraising events as well. If you can’t attend the event, you can always make a donation to PALS at Palsatlanta.org. Project Run-a-Way is at the Heretic on March 30, 6-9 pm.

peachATL.com | 11

A Lust for Creat ing “My heart, its ugly but its real, the beauty of being authentic and real in a world of digital filters.” -Patrick Hanson

All artwork by Patrick Hanson, Handsonworks.com. Most works are from his HUNG Series which will premier later this year.

My name is Patrick Hanson. As an artist who feels my best days are still ahead of myself, I often vacillate in my own certain uncertainty. But I see that Tech/internet is killing so much of what we love, and I’ve had to change that aspect of my life because of that. I speak too quickly, move too fast, and forget to slow down to see the trajectory of my stellar ideas and my high expectations. I’m privileged to have many people in my life who have been anchors and supporters. They come from and have been inspired by what I feel are scores of lifetimes with amazing people. I plan on releasing a series of works, show, and ideas some that are community-based, crowd-sourced, and funded. The idea is to set up a not for profit system that I work with that then it grows beyond me and becomes its own. The works have been a lifetime in the making, and I’ve never been so sure of my craft than I am as I’m writing this sentence. My art has and is a summation of every aspect of my life and every single entity in it. I often forget to honestly or politely say thank you, because in my head and world I’ll say it many times. I’m the extreme of so much, I often worry people just put up with me - and well, at times I annoy myself, so I can only imagine. It’s that aspect that drove me to look deeply inward and hone what is good and to make a little negative impact on the world as possible. Looking back at my career, I see my advice always seems clear and better for others than myself. I forget my value, my worth, my willingness to put myself first. Which has lead me to solve the problem by working on community-based projects, start taking on patrons, selling ideas, creating works that bring life and happiness to all involved. One of my upcoming shows 12 | 03.20.19

(DTBA) was my Senior project show for my BFA. It is a 5-room installation, and it was reviewed as visionary, groundbreaking, a peek into the future, and received a “Committee A”, which is a rare distinction to have a panel of art professors all agree and see the works for what it was: a peek into the vortex of my mind, body, and soul. The new series revisits and revives my lust for creating, creation, and manipulations of the views perspective in our current world. If the viewers walk away with an “I don’t get it,” that’s fine. The willingness to admit that is a signal of thought. The unasked question is relevant when there is an engagement with the works. I don’t always know what my work is about, all I can hope for is that the answers come to me. Another one of my shows (TBA) will deal with how we label things, how our labels have defined us, and how

inhumane we have become in the cult of personality. I often think of how the words liberal, gay, queer can become hateful and stolen because it threatens the powers that be. Art often challenges that system, and I guess I have as well. Thanks for reading and consider helping out by going to Handsonworks.com. Interested patrons or sponsor can contact me at Info@ handsonworks.com. Show dates will be released on Handsonworks. com as well as ways you can join to help out.

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ART in the ATL By Patrick Hanson

I’m an odd one to IThefeel be asked to talk about ATL art scene. I

we are. The art world is growing by leaps and bounds.

say that with a bit of candor, humility, and bewilderment. I mean I’m no official judge but I, as most of us, am a critic. Both willing, knowingly and unwilling, unconsciously.

But I will say that my steadfastness is most often rooted in the bedrock of a standard, base level, or average. I don’t like to speak or swim in the pool of hyperbole. I may dip into a pool of it by my ego or storytelling, but I have increasingly been challenging myself to rise above it, striving to be thoughtful in the way I digest information, critique, and share. I’ve had a rebirth in the way I want to participate in the human experiment of art with a renewed focus of self. That being said. I’ve traveled in so many places all over the world, and

The Beltline has infused a whole new level of art and culture to our city that is giving people exposure to art culture that many are shy to partake in on there own. The High Museum always offers remarkable shows, and with Infinity Mirrors being so wildly successful, there is a ripple if not wave of discussion on art. Out Front Theatre Company is bringing queer voices, creators, and stories all under one roof with a focus on the queer community. The Goat Farm artist community provides a space and an opportunity to grow and create for a slew of artists across the artistic spectrum. If you are a little tentative to get out and see art, I’d strongly encourage people to do one or more of the art festivals. Dog Wood, Piedmont Arts Fest, et cetera - a lot is going on, and it’s a great way to spend time with someone, a group, or some much needed alone time. I would recommend taking a pair of headphones just to recess into your world. Just take time to absorb the art without pretense. Start with easy stuff like, do you like the color, is there tension in the work, does it evoke feeling.

my biggest complaint about ATL for the longest time was there was so little public art. Cities like Chattanooga I felt was way ahead of us in supporting the arts. I love to see the city is now embracing it with the city murals project to the street corners art. (Spinning Rock, Swallowed Car). My hope is the city put more time and energy into such aspects because without it our cities will be stagnant. People live in a city of the lifestyle and culture, and the arts brings all that and so much more. It brings us together so we can meet, discuss, contemplate, and hopefully enjoy. Atlanta obviously is the biggest city in the south, and you would think as a default we are and always have been at the apex of what’s going on, and in many ways 14 | 03.20.19

Charity events and silent auctions like Joining Hearts, Jerusalem House, PALS, et cetera is another way to go to a fun event and possibly buy some great artwork. I encourage people to bid high and often for works in a silent auction, especially if it’s from a working artist. My hope for ATL is that it continues to feature art, artist, and support the culture we bring; without it, we are living in a boring cookie cutter life.

After Simon by Gregg Shapiro

Photo: Euclid 431 Pictures Images courtesy of Warner Bros. Gay filmmaker Greg Berlanti revolutionized the high school teen coming out story for good with “Love, Simon”, his 2018 movie adaptation of Becky Albertalli’s Y/A novel. It was both a commercial and critical hit (although overlooked at the Oscars), setting a new standard for everything that would follow.

that completely freaks out Ballas; even though it was Ballas who initiated it. What follows is Ballas’ attempt to distance himself from Franky, which includes his blackballing his one-time best friend, thereby removing any suspicions about his sexuality.

Among the first out of the post-“Love, Simon” gate is Keith Behrman’s “Giant Little Ones” (Vertical). Popular high school student and swim team member Franky (Josh Wiggins) has been best friends with fellow swimmer Ballas (Darren Mann) since they were kids. They share almost everything. The morning after Ballas and girlfriend Jess (Kiana Madeira) have sex for the first time, Ballas does everything but give Franky the blow-by-blow details. He also encourages Franky to move forward with his girlfriend Cil (Hailey Kittle), who wants to do the deed the night of Franky’s 16th birthday party.

Shunned by everyone except lesbian classmate Mouse (Niamh Wilson) and Natasha, Franky is shaken by the experience. Franky’s father Ray (Kyle McLachlan), who left Carly when he came out as gay and lives with his male partner, tries to be of help, but Franky doesn’t want anything to do with him. As things escalate, and Franky’s ongoing relationship with Natasha becomes a source of anger for Ballas, the two former best friends have a frightening physical confrontation.

In the hours leading up to the party, we are given a typically unpleasant glimpse into the horrors of high school life. An openly gay swim team member is taunted by a homophobic teammate in the locker room. The word “slut” is scrawled across Ballas’ sister Natasha’s (Taylor Hickson) locker as an example of how she is ostracized for being the victim of a sexual assault. Gossip and rumors abound in classrooms and the halls. Furthermore, plans go awry after Franky’s alcohol and drug-fueled birthday celebration breaks up early when his divorced mom Carly (queer actress Maria Bello) gets home sooner than she had planned. Cil’s mother demands that she come home (she considers Franky a bad influence) and a slightly wasted Franky and Ballas end up hanging out together. After surviving a confrontation in a convenience store parking lot, Franky and Ballas end up back at Franky’s where they crash in his bed. While there, they have an unexpected sexual encounter 16 | 03.20.19

Without giving away too much, suffice to say that a form of accord is reached. Along the way, Franky also finds a way to come to terms and make peace with Ray. “Giant Little Ones” lacks the energy of “Love, Simon”, and the emotional impact is more muted. Nevertheless, “Giant Little Ones” is a welcome addition to the genre.

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Dionne Warwick Keeps Smiling, Shining he music legend on why the ‘recordings of today’ aren’t songs, her friend Aretha and not judging gay fans By Chris Azzopardi

Dionne Warwick has laughs like no other. The memoryladen laugh for explaining, despite popular opinion, her friendship with Aretha Franklin; another for her read on what she thinks is, quite literally, the depressing state of the music business (she won’t call some new songs “songs”); the one when discussing “Twitter or twatter.” Oftentimes it’s a breezy, throaty, less-coded chuckle, but the one she whoops with great dramatic effect when the topic of Auto-Tune is broached is a cackle so distinctly a cackle that it immediately answers the question about Auto-Tune before she uses a barking dog analogy to illustrate her very Dionne response. On this front, she seems to agree with Franklin, who once scoffed at the mere idea of using the pitch-fixing tool after an interviewer explained it: “Oh please… that’s ridiculous. That would be ridiculous. After 50 years, please.” Like Franklin, Warwick has certainly put in the time too. The five-time Grammy winner grew up singing gospel music at New Hope Baptist Church in her native state of New Jersey, where she currently lives. She did background singing, performed in a gospel trio. But after composer Burt Bacharach took her under his wings in the early ’60s, Warwick landed a recording deal and her pop-soul music went on to dominate the charts. Her songs are timeless: “I Say a Little Prayer,” “Walk On By,” “Do You Know the Way to San Jose” and “That’s What Friends Are For,” recorded with Elton John, Gladys Knight and Stevie Wonder. The song was released in 1985 as a charity single for the American Foundation for AIDS Research and raised over $3 million for the cause. In 1967, she also released “(Theme from) Valley of the Dolls” from the cult film of the same name after Judy Garland, originally set to sing the track, was fired. On May 10, the 78-year-old music legend will release her 36th studio release and first album in five years, She’s Back. Produced by her son Damon Elliott, the album’s 10 songs include duets with Kenny Lattimore (“What Color Is Love”), Musiq Soulchild (“Am I Dreaming?”) and Krayzie Bone of Bone Thugs-N-Harmony (“Déjà Vu”). Notably, the set is Warwick’s first R&B/soul album since Soulful, released 50 years ago, in 1969.

18 | 03.20.19

peachATL.com | 19

What did you envision for yourself? That I’d be doing exactly what I’ve always been doing: recording when the opportunity presents itself, doing my concerts around this entire world like I always do, and just enjoying my music and giving it to people to enjoy.

gospel music as a teenager. The young man who played piano for our group was gay, but that was his lifestyle, that’s what he chose as a lifestyle. Who am I to judge him? He didn’t judge me. So, you know, everybody does what is satisfying to them to do, and I let you live your life and you allow me to live mine.

Why lead with a new recording of “What the World Needs Now Is Love” from the new album? Because that’s we need. And it’s not that simple – I mean, this whole world is in shambles and it’s because of our own country. Our own country is just – I don’t know what’s going on! I’m beginning to wonder what country I live in.

What was your relationship like with your gay church friend? You were close, I imagine. Oh yeah. He was wonderful to be around and could play a piano like nobody else. He was a human being, OK – that’s the way I look at people. I can’t judge you for your preference – that’s your choice, not mine. You gotta be who you are and I’ve gotta be who I am and that’s just the way it’s supposed to be.

Sometimes I feel like I’m living in a history book. That’s what you’re living in. You’re living in the period of time when people who have died over the years for the freedoms that we’re supposed to be enjoying, it was almost all in vain. It doesn’t make sense. It just does not make sense. So I feel that this world does need love. It really does. A whole bunch of it. And I personally know that love is God, so that’s what we need. You stood up for the LGBTQ community when we needed you most, in a time when many influential names did not take that step. You lost many people who were close to you to AIDS, including your valet. How do you reflect on that time, and how personally affected were you? I was not the only one personally affected. I think everybody that ever heard that word “HIV/AIDS” was affected, not necessarily directly but indirectly. Losing people for any reason is not an easy thing to be a part of, but when you lose people to something (where something) can be done about it then it becomes another kind of situation. I’ve always believed what my grandfather told me at a very, very tender age: that we were all put here to be of service to each other. We all have got to get our heads out of the sand and take a good look around us and say, “Enough.” Because of you, Ronald Reagan said “AIDS” for the first time, you’ve said. Why did you decide to challenge Ronald Reagan? Basically, he appointed me the United States Ambassador of Health and my mandate, self-imposed basically, was the AIDS issue because that was what was prevalent at that time. And he just did not want to say that word for some reason. I hadn’t a clue as to why. But when I did a press conference and he was there, I prodded him into saying the word. I think it was time for him to fess up and know that the community that was suffering from this disease should be addressed by someone who meant something to all people and being the President of the United States, he had an obligation to do so. You’ve had a special relationship with the LGBTQ community for decades. Is that closeness to the gay community something that came out of that tragic period or did it start before? Apparently, it had started before, when I was singing 20 | 03.20.19

You say “preference” and “lifestyle,” and I know some people still use both of those words. But a lot of gay people think they were born this way, that it wasn’t a chosen lifestyle or a preference. Do you think a gay person could be born gay? Absolutely. It’s not only the way you’re born, it’s the lifestyle you’ve chosen to live and that’s your choice. I can’t define what it means or how it happens or why it happens or when it happens. It just is. I look at it that way. What has the LGBTQ community’s loyalty all these years meant to you? It’s absolutely wonderful to know that people generally still appreciate what I do, and your love and care for me means an awful lot to me, and I certainly appreciate it. Famously, in addition to being her cousin, you were Whitney’s mentor. Whitney was supportive of the community as well. Do you think her LGBTQ support was influenced by your own? Did you ever talk about that fanbase that you shared? No, we never talked about anything like that. She made her choice as I make mine. I’m involved with an awful lot of things that do not seem to be popular, but it’s something that should be addressed, and if I feel I have something to offer, I have no problem doing it. I’m certain that she, eventually in her growing years, felt the same way: If she had something to offer, she felt like, “OK, I’m gonna do it.” How do you think Whitney’s legacy has been handled in the years since her death? Oh, I don’t know. That’s not for me to discuss or to make an opinion on. And I’m gonna stop you at this point in time because I do not discuss Whitney. She is gone and she will be well remembered as the beautiful person she was. Absolutely. I can respect that. Let’s shift to the music business and talk about the way that things have changed over the last 50 years, because this is not the same music business you were brought into. Not at all! (Laughs) Today’s music industry is often criticized for not producing as many genuine vocal

talents as in past eras. What is your take? What is happening in the industry today is so alien to me. (Laughs) It really is! I’m not a computer geek, so I’m not here all day long sitting at a computer screen. My cell phone, I try to leave it anywhere I can.

deserve it, and I applaud them. It doesn’t matter to me. Most people like you feel I’ve been overlooked, but I don’t feel that way. It’s like everything else: I feel that what is supposed to happen for and with Dionne does.

But you have one. Yes, I do. And it’s only because of my grandbabies! They want to talk to grammy and I’m available anytime they wanna talk. But we’ve lost all of our social skills, nobody talks to anybody anymore. Everybody’s so busy texting – is that what it’s called? Yeah, texting. And you know, I’ve witnessed kids sitting across from each other and instead of speaking cordially saying whatever they need to say they’re busy getting carpal tunnel on their phones. I think it’s a sad, sad scenario right now. I think we all have to really get back to – I remember writing notes to somebody to say “thank you.”

Given your relationship with Aretha, how did you process her death? It was a hard loss. It was a very difficult loss. Aretha was a friend regardless of what most people might think. (Laughs) It’s so funny how people like to put some craziness into anybody’s life when, in fact, they don’t know anybody’s life for real. Aretha and I grew up together; we were teenagers when we met. And she’s always been one of the most incredible talents I’ve ever heard, since the first day I heard her sing. Never grew old. So, you know, it’s difficult to lose anyone that you know and that you’re close to.

Now it’s difficult to break out as a successful artist unless you can manage your Twitter and your Facebook. Guess what? I don’t manage anything. I don’t even know what Twitter or twatter is! And I really don’t want to. That’s why I have social media people who do all that stuff! And I told them from the very beginning: “I know nothing about it, I don’t want to know anything about it; that’s why you’re hired, that’s why I pay you very well. So you do what you gotta do and let people know what they have to know.”

Your relationship with Aretha has been depicted as fairly tense in the media, and in 2017 Aretha sent a lengthy fax to the Associated Press addressing what she noted was a “libelous” statement made by you about her at Whitney’s funeral. Aretha was a person who was reactive. She wasn’t one (laughs)... she just... well, she thought the way she did, period, that was the end of that. And the next day, she probably was like, “Why did I do that?” (Laughs)

What do you think of Auto-Tune? Of what? Of Auto-Tune. (Boisterous, dramatic, iconic cackle) I just learned what that was! When, how? Honest to god, I really did. My son told me what that was, and I couldn’t believe it. He said, “Yeah, you know, you can take a puppy in there and he can bark, and I can make him sound good.” I said, “What?!” So, where is the real talent? Is it missing? Do you think we have less talent being produced than we did in the ’60s and ’70s? Absolutely, no doubt. I had a discussion with some wonderful people not too long ago, and they asked my opinion on the songs or whatever you wanna call them because I do not call them songs – the recordings of today. How many people will remember any of those words 20 years from now? Music is supposed to keep you reminded of wonderful times, of peaceful times, of happy times, of sad times, of joy. You know, what happened to that? What happened? Doesn’t anybody wanna be happy anymore?

Where do you keep your five Grammys? (Laughs) Well, they were in my mom’s house until she passed. Now a couple are in my cousin’s house. I have only one in my house and I’m gonna keep the one that I’m gonna get soon, and that’s the Lifetime Achievement. I’m gonna keep that one. What does being honored with the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Recording Academy mean to you? It means an awful lot – that the entire academy has decided, finally, that I’m deserving. So like I said, when it’s supposed to happen, that’s when it happens. You once went to a psychic who told you you’d win the first two Grammys you ever won. Have you been back to a psychic since? No, I haven’t. I haven’t found one that’s good! (Laughs) No, I’ve been too busy trying to put some beautiful sounds into your ears.

Looking back at your status as one of the first true black crossover artists, do you feel like a pioneer or trailblazer? No, because I’ve always considered – first of all, nobody can ever decide to put me in a box. I just feel music belongs to everyone and music is just that – music. It doesn’t have a title or a genre, it’s just music. It’s the same eight notes in a major scale, the same 13 notes in a chromatic scale. So music is music. I feel your accomplishments aren’t as celebrated currently in the same way as yours peers. Right. Where are all the Dionne Warwick awardshow tributes? When it comes to your career and those of your peers, like Gladys and Aretha and Patti LaBelle and Diana Ross, do you feel left out? No, not at all. No. Every concert I did, and I’m truly blessed to say, all sold out. So those people who want to hear and see Dionne Warwick are the ones who show up and put their butts in the seats. I’m not concerned about the accolades they’re giving to others – apparently, they

-As editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBTQ wire service, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com and on Twitter (@chrisazzopardi).

peachATL.com | 21

HEIFER REVIEW @ JOE'S ON JUNIPER PHOTOS: Andrea Dwyer

22 | 03.20.19

ATLANTA BUCKS BEER BUST @ WOOFS PHOTOS: Andrea Dwyer

24 | 03.20.19

May 4th, 2019 | Heretic 9:00PM - 3:00AM $20 ADVANCE (AND UNTIL 11:00PM DAY OF) $25 AFTER 11:00PM | 21+ ID REQUIRED

Tickets available at: joininghearts.org

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HSL WICKED BEER BUST PHOTOS: Andrea Dwyer

26 | 03.20.19

for LGBTQ Equality Sunday, March 31st | 2:00 P.M. - 5:00 P.M.

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Eric moved to Atlanta almost two years ago from Chicago for a fresh start. The beginnings in Atlanta where a little bumpy, and he was on the cusp of terminating his lease early and going back up North when he met the love of his life. Now he has a new home in Buckhead and a solid career with the prestigious Modern Luxury publishing company. He still feels new to Atlanta but enjoys the cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s friendly faces, bars, restaurants, and incomparable weather. His advice to Atlanta newcomers? Give it some time, be open to adventure, and stay focused on your goals.

Eric Hominick

30 | 03.20.19

You deserve Personalized Care & Individual Attention – that’s what we deliver at Family Health Care of Atlanta • Participating in many clinical trials • Certiied HIV Specialist, American Academy of HIV Medicine • 20+ years experience in Family & HIV Care SPECIALIZING IN DERMATOLOGY, STD’S, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, UROLOGY, PSYCHIATRIC DISORDERS

Finding My Own Fitness Path By Darren Floro-Bryant

To me, fitness is like religion. The sights, the smells, the sounds, the order along with the disorder; all of it motivates me to focus on ME and the power I possess within me. I am generally at peace when I work out. I know this seems like an odd perspective to have with regards to the environment and the visual stimulations that surround me in the gym, but to me, it is my time.

try to share my perspective and passion with others in Idon’t any way that I can, but generally only when asked. I assume what works for me is shared by others. I

try to understand that every single individual has their motivators and reasons within them. I didn’t always feel this way about fitness. When I was growing up, I was always the chubby kid (possibly just like you). I was never really into sports. I was usually picked last when team sports were organized at school or on the playground. I never thought I wanted to be fit. What I did know is I did not want to be chubby. The thing that was really holding me back was I really didn’t know what I needed to do to change it. The “choice” was made for me. I was getting braces, and the orthodontist said that I needed to have jaw surgery due to a severe underbite. He said my jaw would most likely have to be wired shut post-surgery. I looked into it and found out that if my jaw was to be wired shut, I would have to be on a liquid diet, and I would lose weight rapidly. I would most likely gain more weight back when I could eat solid food again. This was when I decided to make fitness my choice. I started watching what I ate and started exercising every morning before work. It was not easy, but I kept telling myself “Nobody’s going to do this for you.” I began using my mother’s at home ski machine. I remember seeing some changes and started getting the confidence to go to the local gym (where I worked in the kitchen serving wings – yes, the gym served wings) to start taking aerobics and step classes. This is where everything changed for me.

That was just about the point when I realized this too was not healthy, just as I thought being the chubby kid was not healthy. This is when I started to live my life, but realistically. Everything that I had cut out of my diet to lose the weight I started adding back in, but in moderation. I did not deprive myself of things but rather enjoyed these things, but with the understanding and knowing when it was enough. Fitness also changed for me; I started looking at it as fun and an enhancement to my life, rather than the means to keep me from being chubby. To make a long story short, I got certified as a group fitness trainer (or Aerobics instructor back then) and started sharing my approach with the people that took my classes. From there, the next step for me was getting certified as a personal trainer. Even though there have been some hiccups in the journey, I have always remained true to myself and my reasons why I work out and stay fit. Working out and staying fit should make life easier; looking better is just a byproduct. You are in control of you, and yes, I still remind myself that “nobody is going to do it for you.”

I lost more weight, started getting stronger, but more importantly, I started finding myself. I discovered what I was passionate about. I started making new friends at the gym and even started venturing upstairs into the weight room. I was gaining control of my weight and my body. Luckily, I did NOT have to have my jaw wired shut after the surgery! I could eat regular food (mushy), but I still had control over what I ate. I quickly returned to my workout routine of mainly classes and a bit more time in the weight room. I continued to lose weight but thought I was healthy. I recall lying in bed and feeling really excited that I could feel my hip bone so definitively. I was 6 feet tall and weighed 155 pounds. 32 | 03.20.19

Darren Floro-Bryant is originally from Ontario, Canada, but now lives and works in Atlanta, GA. Darren has worked as a certified Group Fitness Instructor, Fitness Coach, and Personal Trainer for more than 25 years. Currently he owns DFB Fitness and Foundation Fitness – check him out at DFBFitness.com / FoundationFitness.co.

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The First Bite of Peach By Jeff Fuller

Summer of 2003. The airwaves were filled with Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love” and Justin Timberlake’s “Rock Your Body,” and 50 Cent’s “In da Club.” I was a University of Tennessee law student, clerking part of the summer at a law firm in Atlanta. It was during this summer, that I truly had my first exposure to this big gay Georgia city and one in which the city began to win me over. t the time, I had been taking my first few steps out of the closet. Atlanta was a place A where I felt this process would accelerate, but that excited me too. Midtown was where all the action was and also happened to be where I worked. Most of the law firms had set up offices in gleaming towers just blocks from Piedmont Park. While having lunch with summer associates at Vickery’s or Joe’s on Juniper we would see groups of gays meeting up at nearby tables.

The gays I had met in Knoxville and Nashville recommended places to go in Atlanta. There was this hot new video bar called Red Chair. At the time, it was common to go to gay bars by oneself. You could easily strike up a conversation with someone, have a drink and maybe more. But I was told that Red Chair was not a place where you went by yourself and that if you did, nobody would talk to you. One Friday night, I wanted to peel off from my straight friends and explore Red Chair. I was alone, but I decided to go anyway. I went to my apartment, took off my Brooks Brothers, put on my Armani Exchange and went out again. Once at Red Chair, I remember being amazed by the huge video screens playing Danni Minogue, Benny Benassi, and the latest electro hits from that time. I arrived early, around 9 or 10 pm and the bar was nearly empty. However, once 11 pm rolled around, the bar was packed with good-looking men. I said to myself “Oh my God, everyone in here is hot!” For a while, I wandered the crowd, trying not to appear like I had broken the rules and showed up alone. Fortunately, I ended up striking up a conversation with a cute guy there and actually spent much of the weekend with him. Another fun bar I explored that summer was Hoedowns, tucked away in that shopping center on Monroe next to where Trader Joe’s is now. I tried my hand at country line dancing, but it was enjoyable to watch the experts do it. I remember watching two handsome guys laughing and twirling to a remix of Shania Twain’s “Forever and For Always,” thinking how much I hoped to find someone to fall in love with one day. 34 | 03.20.19

That summer, I attended my very first Pride Festival. Pride was especially festive that year because of the Supreme Court’s Lawrence v. Texas decision, which decriminalized gay sex. The guy I met at Red Chair took me to Piedmont Park and we held hands while we walked around in broad daylight, a revolutionary act for me at the time. The law firm I worked with was very gay friendly, but I was a little coy about being out. One day, one of the gay attorneys took me to a court hearing in his convertible. In his cup holder was a water bottle from the nightclub blü. On the way, he blasted Thunderpuss remixes of Deborah Cox, Whitney Houston and Amber from his stereo. I had no doubt about him and don’t think he had any doubts about me. Alas, I never made it to Backstreet, certainly one of the recommended bars to see. The following year, Backstreet shut its doors for good. I regret not going, but so many friends have shared stories from that place, I almost feel as if I were there. Even though I had so much fun during my hot summer months in Atlanta, I took a job in Nashville after law school. I was still a little conflicted about my sexuality and Nashville seemed like a much “safer” place. Nevertheless, I returned to Atlanta many weekends and ultimately moved here in 2008. I will always remember how this city not only showed me fantastic, fun-filled times, but the possibilities of a new life of self-acceptance, pride and love.

The GEN X Files

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Mar 20 – Mar 27

LGBTQ Lobby Day with Georgia Equality Stand up for LGBTQ equality in Georgia with a free training and a lobby day at the State Capitol where you can put your training into action to educate state legislators on issues and policies that affect LGBTQ Georgians. Sign up for (free) training and rally at georgiaequality.org. Thursday, March 21, 8:30 am – 12 pm Central Presbyterian Church & the State Capitol STAFF PICK!

Yaeji at Terminal West The Korean-American electronic music artist blends elements of house music and hip hop with mellow, quiet vocals sung in both English and Korean – like her major hit Raingurl. Thursday, March 21, 9 pm Terminal West

La Choloteca Presents DJ Bembona The latinx DJ collective presents the Atlanta debut of the one and only DJ Bembona flanked by resident DJs Santiago Paramo, Nena Linda, Brian Rojas, La Superior, and Esmé. $5 after 11 pm, cash only bar, and delicious eats by El Ponce! Thursday, March 21, 10 pm – 3 am MJQ Concourse

Deep South presents The Black Madonna

SPRUNG! featuring Aquaria

The Black Madonna, whose name references paintings of the Virgin Mary and her mother’s favorite saint, is not only a world-class DJ but a tireless champion of women and LGBTQ people in the club world. Come out for a Deep South club night to remember with an all-female lineup with opening sets by Ash Lauryn and Vicki Powell. Tickets via Universe.

It has sprung, so get springtime sexy with RuPaul’s Drag Race winner Aquaria and a cast of Atlanta influencer queens including Brigitte Bidet, Hydrangea Heath, Iv Fischer, Molly Rimswell, and more.

Friday, March 22, 10 pm – 3 am The Heretic 38 | 03.20.19

Saturday, March 23, 10 pm – 3 am The Deep End

NEW FACES @ FRIENDS ON PONCE PHOTOS: KEITH BAILEY

40 | 03.20.19

OCTOBER 11-13,2019 atlantapride.org

MIDTOWN 1

Monroe Dr. NE

Amsterdam Ave.

NE ve . tA

Piedmont Park

6 12th St. NE

Pi e

Juniper St. NE

14th St. NE

10th St. NE

. NE

oe Dr

e. NE Piedmont Av

Juniper St . NE

Peachtree St. NE

Monr

Charle s Alle n Dr . N E

12 W. Peachtree St. NW

4th St. NE

BARS Amsterdam Blake's Bulldogs Friends The Model T My Sister’s Room Ten Atlanta

Dining 502 Amsterdam Ave NE 227 10th St NE 893 Peachtree St NE 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE 699 Ponce De Leon Ave NE 66 12th St NE 990 Piedmont Ave NE

9 10 11 12

10 th & Piedmont Campagnolo Einstein's F.R.O.G.S

clubs 13 Atlanta Eagle

306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

14 Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave NE

spa/bath 15 Flex Spa

42 | 03.20.19

991 Piedmont Ave NE 980 Piedmont Ave NE 1077 Juniper St NE 931 Monroe Cir NE

fitness

retail 8 Barking Leather

Ponce De Leon Ave. NE

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

P o n ce D e Leo n Pl . N E

Spring St. NW

76 4th St. NW

16 17 18 19

G’s Midtown Henry’s Joe's on Juniper La Hacienda

219 10th St NE 132 10th St NE 1049 Juniper St NE 900 Monroe Dr NE

billards/Darts drag dancers leather non-smoking area Patio

When the world throws you Let be your savedandgay.com

Cheshire 23

ansley 21

on tC ir .

Piedmont Park BARS 2043 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1086 Alco St NE 1931 Piedmont Cir NE 2425 Piedmont Rd NE 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd

32 33 34 35 36

Midtown Moon Felix's The Hideaway Mixx Oscar's

805 Lambert Dr. NE, Suite A 2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1739 Cheshire Bridge Rd 2201 Faulkner Rd NE

Spa / bath 2103 Faulkner Rd NE 2135 Liddell Drive NE

1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 1544 Piedmont Ave NE 1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

Dining 38 Eclectic Bistro

Fitness 30 Gravitee Fitness

clubs 28 Heretic 29 Tokyo Valentino

e. nt mo ed

39 38

Retail 26 Barking Leather 27 Southern Nights

28 20

Dining 24 Las Margaritas 25 Roxx

ge Rd Brid hire

Ches

BJ Roosters Opus 1 Tripps Woof's

31 Manifest 4 U 42 The Den

id Br

BARS 20 21 22 23

hir

ll D

31 er

Pi e

idde

. NE

Manchester St. NE

Piedmont Rd. NE

42 L

x Rd

Le no

Lambert Dr.

St.

A l co

1600 Piedmont Ave NE 1425 Piedmont Ave NE

Retail 39 Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave NE 40 Brushstrokes/Pleasures 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

Fitness 41 Equilibrium Fitness

1529 Piedmont Ave, Suite L

NOT SHOWN

Mary's Sister Louisaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Church Swinging Richards Lips Atlanta

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peachATL.com | 43

A snapshot of Gay Atlanta’s favorite destinations. View their ads in Peach ATL & visit their websites for weekly event listings.

Bars & Clubs

EAST ATLANTA, GRANT PARK & EDGEWOOD

Retail

MIDTOWN

MARY’S

MIDTOWN

amsterdamatlanta.com

1287 Glenwood Ave SE

AMSTERDAM

502 Amsterdam Ave. NE

ATLANTA EAGLE

marysatlanta.com

SISTER LOUISA’S CHURCH

BARKING LEATHER AFTER DARK barkingleather.com

306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

sisterlouisaschurch.com

CHESHIRE

SWINGING RICHARDS

BARKING LEATHER

1400 Northside Dr NW

805 Lambert Dr NE

BULLDOGS

Dining

2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE

FRIENDS NEIGHBORHOOD BAR

MIDTOWN

736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

10thandpiedmont.com

atlantaeagle.com

306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

BLAKE’S ON THE PARK

blakesontheparkatlanta.com 227 10th St NE

893 Peachtree St NE

friendsonponce-atl.com

466 Edgewood Ave SE

swingingrichards.com

10TH & PIEDMONT

MODEL T

991 Piedmont Ave NE

699 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

einsteinsatlanta.com

modeltatlanta.com

EINSTEIN’S

MY SISTER’S ROOM

1077 Juniper St NE

66 12th St NE

frogsmidtown.com

mysistersroom.com

TEN ATLANTA

tenatlanta.com

990 Piedmont Ave NE

CHESHIRE

SOUTHERN NIGHTS VIDEO

ANSLEY BOY NEXT DOOR MENSWEAR boynextdoormenswear.com 1447 Piedmont Ave NE

GCB & PLEASURES

brushstrokesatlanta.com 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE

FROGS CANTINA

Fitness

931 Monroe Dr

MIDTOWN

G’S

gsmidtown.com 219 10th St NE

HERETIC

HENRY’S

2069 Cheshire Bridge Road

132 10th St NE

BJ ROOSTERS

JOE’S ON JUNIPER

hereticatlanta.com

barkingleather.com

henrysatl.com

URBAN BODY FITNESS urbanbodyfitness.com

500 Amsterdam Ave NE

CHESHIRE GRAVITEE FITNESS graviteeatl.com

bjroosters.com

joesonjuniper.com

2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

1049 Juniper St NE

OPUS 1

LA HACIENDA

Spas/Baths/Adult

900 Monroe Dr NE

MIDTOWN

1931 Piedmont Circle N

CHESHIRE

FLEX SPA

WOOFS

LAS MARGARITAS

76 4th St NW

2425 Piedmont Road NE

1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE

CHESHIRE

ANSLEY

ROXX

MANIFEST 4U

MIDTOWN MOON

1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE

FELIX’S

LIPS ATLANTA

THE HIDEAWAY

3011 Buford Hwy NE

1086 Alco St NE

TRIPPS

woofsatlanta.com

1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 1544 Piedmont Ave NE

MIXX

mixxatlanta.com

1492 Piedmont Ave NE

OSCAR’S

oscarsatlanta.com

1510 Piedmont Ave NE

44 | 03.20.19

lahaciendamidtown.com

lasmargaritasmidtown.com

DEKALB

atldragshow.com

2201 Faulkner Rd NE

flexspas.com

manifest4u.org

2103 Faulkner Rd NE

THE DEN

thedenatlanta.com

2135 Liddell Drive NE

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10 SONGS THAT WILL SPRING YOU FORWARD

START CURATING THAT SPRING/SUMMER PLAYLIST NOW!

Dido – Give You Up

Ben Platt Temporary Love

Sigrid – Don’t Feel Like Crying (MK Remix)

Ava Max - So Am I

Phora - Don’t Change

Gary Clark Jr. - This Land Mike Shinoda I.O.U.

Lil Pump - “Be Like Me” ft. Lil Wayne Lauv & Troye Sivan - I’m So Tired...

Stefan Ringer – Got Me 123

46 | 03.20.19

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Text your Peach Pits to 540-30-PEACH, or e-mail mikkel@PeachATL.com

It’s not so much that the he is into the community, it’s more that the community is “into” him …

Me: Do you love me or what? Him: What Me: Do you love me or How?! Him: How! Me: WELL, DO YOU LOVE ME OR NOT?!!

There’s a 4-bedroom, 3 bath pothole on Dekalb Avenue if anyone is looking!

Him: NOT!

Once again, I caved to the conspiracy that is girl scout cookies!

Dad Joke Alert What does a panda use to make pancakes? A pan...duh!

Asking for a friend: At what point do toe nails become talons?

48 | 03.20.19

Here’s a thing to add to the gay vernacular: I hate her, she can eat anything she wants. She’s so metabolistic!

The Democratic field is now like a Cheesecake Factory menu. Plenty of choices.

306 PONCE DE LEON AVE NE, ATLANTA, GA 30308

LEO (JUL. 23 - AUG. 22) Don’t take everything you have for granted this week. People are there in support of you. You may have done something wrong, but your bed is made, lie in it. Fall asleep for a while. Spoon the pillows. Yes, that’s it. Relax. Being king of the jungle is hard work for an Atlanta Leo.

VIRGO (AUG. 23 - SEP. 22) Find your strength in conversations in which you display your keen insight into the situation at hand. Communication skills may falter this week and you’ll be as transparent as a blast of canned air – try to be more complex by wearing hats that are clearly too small for your head.

PISCES (FEB. 19 - MAR. 20)

LIBRA (SEP. 23 - OCT. 22)

Remember, his/her sweetness is your weakness. “His/her?”, yes, we don’t know your sex. Are you a woman? I really can’t tell. The good news is that your ego and brain are working together, and you may be able to strike a better balance between these two elements of your psyche much more easily than usual.

It’s OK to be wrong, Libra. If you find you’ve made a mistake, feel free to admit it. Don’t let your ego stand in the way of progress. The future holds many fantastic and wonderful things this week. However, many of them, if not all, exclude you in their plans.

ARIES (MAR. 21 - APR. 19)

SCORPIO (OCT. 23 - NOV. 21)

When in danger, you have a tendency to run away quickly. Harness that ability this week, as you’ll need it sometime during the weekend. Ignore those who laugh at your sense of style. Don’t let the little stuff grab you by the horns and yank you around, but also try not charging at every red scarf waved in your general direction.

This week is a good time to listen and receive as opposed to deliver information. Let things stew in your head for a while before you make any major decisions. Overall you just need to slow down and back off a bit. People are drawn to your intensity… just let it happen naturally.

TAURUS (APR. 20 - MAY 20)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 - DEC. 21)

Don’t let fast-paced people knock you off your game today. Some might call it plodding, but you prefer meticulous. In either case, you’ll be holding up traffic and not only because of the wide load. Did I say that in public? Let them know that rushing you won’t make you go any faster.

Your mental ability could be rather sluggish and lazy this week. It could be that you aren’t feeling as sharp as you’d like. Something will stir your memory and it may take a few days for you to resolve your sense of deja vu.

GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUN. 20) All the yearnings you have will all of a sudden find explosive release this week. Find something this week where you can use your excellent interpersonal skills, and you’ll be communicating all the way to the bank.

CANCER (JUN. 21 - JUL. 22) Morale boosts are for needy geeks - you’re as hard as nails and neither require nor deserve any praise. Be mindful this week as every innocent comment is not a back-handed remark. Loosen up and come out of your shell Cancer!

50 | 03.20.19

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 - JAN. 19) One of the important lessons of the week for you is to remember that emotions are powerful things to recognize and honor. Don’t discount your feelings. In fact, it’s most important that you embrace them with your whole being. You are on the verge of a massive breakthrough.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 - FEB. 18) There’s work to be done this week, but there’s no shame in procrastination. Delay tasks as long as you can and the results will be better. Someone may call you on certain behaviors. It could be that your aggressive nature rubs someone the wrong way and they simply don’t have thick enough skin to take it.

By Mikkel Hyldebrandt TTrouble in the love department? With sex? Or just people in general? Send us your queries, questions, and problems, and you’ll get answers served straight up and with a little ice.

am in a committed relationship, but I cheated ell, that was awkward. I went on a date with a Ibecause on my boyfriend, and I told him about it Wgreat guy, and I was being all good and cute, I wanted to be open and honest. Here’s and when dinner was over, he brought me back the kicker: When I came clean, he admitted to having cheated on me numerous times. We are semi-open, which means we have slept with other people before but always together, but my boyfriend apparently had sex with some of those people on his own. Now that he has gotten this off his chest, he is all happy and relieved, but I can’t help but feel a little cheated. Sure, I cheated on him, but I felt so bad that I thought I had to tell him, while he kept quiet for I don’t know how long. He seems to believe that we are all even and squared now that we kind of cheated on each other, but I don’t quite feel that way. Am I in the wrong here for feeling a little deceived? Sincerely Cheater Deceiter Dear Cheater Deceiter Your question says nothing about how long you have been together to be in a ‘committed’ relationship, but it is obvious that there is a disconnect somewhere – and it is likely in the relationship rules department! Having an open relationship opens up to many exciting opportunities, but the most important thing is to set up some ground rules first. And then enforce them. It seems like you (both) have failed to do both. So before talking about commitment, get settled on what you both want with the relationship – especially if you want to keep it open AND stay together. Now that these feelings of being cheated on have made their way into your relationship, you need to work through them together. Ask hard questions like why it was necessary to go behind each other’s backs? Why did you cheat in the first place? Chip away at those insecurities in yourselves and the relationship and move forward and past the feelings of deceit. Once and if you get past that, you have a real shot at commitment.

to my house, and we kissed, and it was all a great first date. But I was horny, so I hopped in my car and went to a sex club and started cruising – and I bump into my date! We were both so stunned, and it was so awkward, that we just ignored each other all the time we were there! I finished my business there and got out as soon as I could! Now I’m so embarrassed about the whole thing – bumping into him, ignoring him, hooking up with someone else, and then scurrying out – that I just don’t know what to do! I really like him, but is this a done and over deal? Sincerely Filthy First Date

Dear Filthy First Date I would say the prospects for this to go anywhere aren’t good. First of all, you both played a cute little dating game where none of you disclosed your true selves but played a nice game of pretend – all when you could have gotten freaky with someone who apparently shares the same sexual inklings as you! Second of all, you missed the window of opportunity yet again, when you both chose to ignore the fact that you were at the same spot to get off. Thirdly, you proceeded to show him that you weren’t into anything but getting your rocks off, and you didn’t do it with him. And lastly, you took off like a thief in the night without ever acknowledging that you ever saw him. So no, chances aren’t good! Last little window of opportunity is if you write to him and say ‘Well, that was awkward,’ and maybe there’s the smallest chance that you can start over with a good laugh at how silly and insecure you both were, and take this beyond a silly dating game. Who knows, it might be the love story of the century with a helluva ‘how we met’ story!

NEED ANSWERS? REACH OUT TO US, AND YOU WILL GET THEM! SEND YOUR BURNING QUESTIONS TO OUR EDITOR AT MIKKEL@PEACHATL.COM.

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