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Contents
APRIL 22, 2020
V4-16 PEACH ATL MEDIA, LLC 925b Peachtree St. NE, #168 Atlanta, GA 30309
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MANAGING PARTNER Brian Sawyer brian@peachatl.com
OPERATIONS Jeff Anderson Sales and Development Director
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EDITORIAL Mikkel Hyldebrandt Editorial Director mikkel@peachatl.com
From the Editor
Brian Sawyer Graphics
These aren’t exactly sexy times, and normally (and ‘normal’ already seems so long ago), we would be stripping down at pool parties and enjoying the typical and increasing social events of Spring. But even though our editorial calendar has been amended somewhat during these past weeks, we did keep this one on the list: our swimsuit and underwear issue! Because, although we are not be engaging in sexual activity left and right to mitigate the spread of the coronavirus, we thought it prudent to serve up a little sex – although only in print (and online). So, we have an exclusive look at ES Collection’s steaming hot VULCANO 2020 collection, and we asked Australian underwear brand Teamm8 to give us a peak their collaboration with Rusty Rabbit, a Sydney coffee hotspot where owners and brothers Jamesray and Joshua show off their bits… sorry, BRIEFS! And that is, as usual, not all in this rather sexy issue of Peach.
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Atlanta Queer Arts Alliance Showcase
On Sunday, April 26, the Atlanta Queer Arts Alliance (AQUAA) presented their streaming event ‘AQUAA - At Home Together’ on each participating organization’s Facebook page at a safe distance. The evening gave viewers more than two and a half hours of amazing content that not only gave you incredible (pre-recorded) performances, but also highlighted the work of each participating organization. In case you missed it, this highly recommendable livestream was recorded and is still available for you to experience. The evening brought together an unprecedented sampling of work by the six founding members of the Alliance - Voices of Note: The Atlanta Gay Men’s Chorus and the Atlanta Women’s Chorus; OurSong, the Atlanta Gay and Lesbian Chorus; Atlanta Philharmonic Orchestra; Atlanta Freedom Bands; Out Front Theatre Company, Atlanta’s LGBTQ theater company; and Out On Film, Atlanta’s LGBTQ film festival.
“The queer arts play a huge role in the economic and cultural fabric of Atlanta, the region and the Southeast,” says Jim Farmer, festival director of Out On Film. “Very few cities in the country can boast that they have a men’s and women’s chorus, a combined chorus, a philharmonic orchestra, a premiere band association, a theater dedicated to LGBTQ work and an Oscar® qualifying LGBTQ film festival in their backyard. The work that we all do serves thousands of patrons each year. At a time when COVID-19 has had a huge, overwhelming effect and put society on hold, we hope ‘AQUAA – At Home Together’ will bolster and serve as a reminder of the work we do as well as the importance of arts culture in our society – and some of the challenges we face.” WHAT
As well as readings, performances, musical numbers and a short film, the evening featured looks at each company’s upcoming seasons with some special guests involved.
Atlanta Queer Arts Alliance Showcase AQUAA – At Home Together
The group formed in the summer of 2019 with the goal to increase efforts to enhance their own and each other’s work, to promote the value of cultural experiences and find additional ways to collaborate with each other and provide space for LGBTQ artists. Members of the Atlanta Queer Arts Alliance will continually look for opportunities to work together on joint events and fundraisers.
‘AQUAA – At Home Together’ will be streamed on each participating organization’s Facebook page:
WHERE
facebook.com/OurSongAtlanta/ facebook.com/outonfilmatl/ facebook.com/AGMChorus/ facebook.com/AtlantaWomensChorus/ facebook.com/AtlantaFreedomBands/ facebook.com/outfronttheatre/
Visit Woofs Atlanta - Get an order to go and a possible chance to win. See peachatl.com/giveaway or Woofs for more details.
LGBTQ Iso Bops By Mikkel Hyldebrandt
Although you are confined to your home right now, it doesn’t mean that the music stops. In fact, music is an excellent way to keep up your spirits, find some comfort in words and melodies, or perhaps even throwing yourself into a one-person dance party! Luckily, many artists have responded to the ongoing pandemic by releasing some great tracks that can impact you in all those ways. Here are a few favorites from LGBTQ (+friendly) artists. Bright Light Bright Light
This Was My House British Bright Light Bright Light (aka Rod Thomas) is getting ready to bring some light into the world with his brand of 80s-inspired dance floor ready synth-pop. BLBL is already a star in the UK and a major rising act in the states. His newest track, “This Was My House,” a sugar-rush of dancefloor pop from his album Fun City, features Madonna’s longtime backing vocalist duo Niki Haris and Donna De Lory.
Rigel Gemini
I Can’t Rigel, Instagrammer, YouTuber, and LGBTQ+ influencer, takes his first foray into music with the “will-stay-stuck-in-your-head,” self-produced anthem “I Can’t.” With a bumping lead, energetic verses, house disco references, and a sassy ad-lib commentary, the song is sure to command attention. “I Can’t,” tells a relatable and humorous story of today’s social scene.
Sam Smith and Demi Lovato
I’m Ready Sam Smith has paired up with Demi Lovato to bring you powerful pop perfection with the empowering message of being ready to love and be loved. Already, the video has made waves for beautifully blurring gender norms and featuring prominent cameos by LGBTQ+ icons like Valentina, Gigi Goode, and Alok.
ALMA
Stay All Night Queer female pop star Alma teases an amazing album, Have U Seen Her?, due to release fully mid-May with the punk-tinged pop song, ‘Stay All Night.’ A quarantine video accompanies the song, shot and edited on her 16th day of quarantine. ALMA has written songs for the likes of Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus, Lana Del Ray, Charli XCX, and Tove Lo, to name a few, so her first album in her own name is bound for greatness.
Michael Love Michael
6 Jaguars Empowered queer pop artist Michael Love Michael (preferred pronouns: they/them) just released their brand new single “6 Jaguars’ that blends irresistible hooks, cinematic ‘80s pop sound, and glittery hip-hop beats. The track tells a lavish but tragic story of wealth, privilege, and systemic oppression as a symbol of what prevents American society from progress.
Tove Lo ft. MC Zaac
Are You Gonna Tell Her? From Tove Lo’s amazing album Sunshine Kitty comes ‘Are You Gonna Tell Her?’ – a club-ready and glistening neon production with Latin grinding rhythms that embodies Tove Lo’s free sexual expression and pure musical talent.
Troye Sivan
Take Yourself Home Originally set for release later in the year, Troye considered the song in a new context as he headed home to Australia and a period of isolation. Troye also decided to work with freelance artists struggling to find work in the face of COVID-19 to roll out the visuals of the song and direct funds their way as well. Check out the beautiful lyric video and go to his shop (troyesivanshop.com) to buy the collection of t-shirts developed for the rollout of the song – all proceeds go to support the WHO COVID-19 Solidarity Response Fund and Spotify’s COVID-19 Music Relief project.
Serving It Down Under Photography: Rui Jorge Models: Joshua Khoury and Jamesray Khoury Australian underwear brand Teamm8 teamed up with the savvy boys from one of Sydney’s best cafes, The Rusty Rabbit, just a couple of blocks from TEAMM8 HQ and asked them to serve it up with a bit of cheek. Brothers Jamesray (26) and Joshua (24) have been fuelling the Sydney cafe scene since 2014 at their Forbes and Burton St, Darlinghurst location and followed with a Burwood outing in Sydney’s inner west in 2017. Just as famous for their outstanding coffee and delectable food offerings as they are for their warm and inviting hospitality that have Sydneysiders flocking.
These young achievers certainly have a knack for marketing, turning a cafe into a brand and we love that! Jamesray tackles the business aspect and focuses on design and branding as well as menu development while younger bro Joshua is more hands-on in the day to day running while focusing on social media and marketing. What a dream team! Jamesray and Joshua wear the Collab limited edition Teamm8/Rusty Rabbit Super Low Brief – available at teamm8.com.
All images provided by Teamm8. All underwear available at teamm8.com.
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All images provided by Teamm8. All underwear available at teamm8.com.
All images provided by Teamm8. All underwear available at teamm8.com. |
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All images provided by Teamm8. All underwear available at teamm8.com.
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All images provided by Teamm8. All underwear available at teamm8.com.
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Photography: Tarek Del Moreno Models: Joaquin Clemente, Edu Calleja, Ben Dudman, Alessandro Di Ninno Location: Lanzarote, Canary Islands Art Direction: Carmen Monforte The inspiration for the 2020 ES Collection of Swimwear, VULCANO, was the volcanic beauty of the clash of the basic elements of our planet. A warm color palette turns up the heat and energy of this collection that celebrates the elements that have a way of restoring the natural order through violent eruption. escollectionusa.com Images provided by ES Collection. All swimwear from the 2020 VULCANO ES Collection available at escollectionusa.com.
ERUPTION!
When Fire Meets Earth and Ocean
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Images provided by ES Collection. All swimwear from the 2020 VULCANO ES Collection available at escollectionusa.com.
In Loving Memory of the Original “Mama Boom Boom�, Regina Simms. Atlanta has lost another nightlife legend. May she rest in peace and power!
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Finding Hope in Crystal City
In the trailer for the new feature-length documentary film Crystal City, Rob, who is living with HIV and four years sober, says that during his time dealing and using crystal methamphetamine he discovered “there are addicts everywhere, from people living on the street to business executives of major entertainment companies – from the gutter to the penthouse.” New York City, which is experiencing a 300–400% surge of crystal meth use, is the backdrop for this gritty, graphic, but ultimately inspiring and hopeful film infused with heart and compassion. It follows 12 gay men over the course of one year, some actively using, others in recovery. (A word of warning: some of the scenes of people smoking and injecting crystal meth may be difficult to watch.) David Fawcett, author of Lust, Men, and Meth: A Gay Man’s Guide to Sex and Recovery, is interviewed throughout the film, and is also one of the film’s producers. Crystal City is filled with bits of information about things like the origins of crystal meth in the U.S. (known as “mother’s little helper” to housewives during the 1950s) and high-quality animations depicting the science behind the drug, such as how it can alter the dopamine receptors in the brain with continued use. The power of crystal meth overtakes most users with consistent use, the movie tells us. 10,721 people died from overdoses in the U.S. last year. It’s estimated that 50% of gay men who are using crystal meth will seroconvert, acquiring HIV and other infections such as HCV. “A small percentage of addicts do seek recovery,” says Fawcett. “For them, quitting the drug is just the beginning of their journey.” Ninety percent of those in recovery will relapse at least once, we are told. The hope and inspiration of Crystal City springs from the men who are followed in the film through various stages of recovery and use. “One of the things about getting sober is that you have people you can 28 | follow us @ peachatlmag
By Jeff Berry
talk to,” says one individual, “and before, I didn’t have that.” In an almost ironic twist of fate, the community that people discover in recovery is the connection they were initially seeking when they started using in the first place. “I’m damaged goods,” says Rob. “No one’s going to want me – I’m untouchable.” Crystal meth offers users an exit door, freedom, oblivion, and makes everyone weirdly equal, says another. It’s not just a gay issue, says Fawcett; it’s a problem for our whole society, and something we need to begin to think about to address. “The first step is to see what we have in common with a crystal meth user, instead of, ‘Oh, that’s not me, not my problem; it could never be me, why don’t they just get it together.’” Fawcett encourages us to ask ourselves, “What are the similarities here, what are the vulnerabilities I might share that I see in that other person, and what solutions have they discovered that might be relevant to me?” The award-winning film, which has been making the film festival circuit over the spring and summer, is available on iTunes and Amazon. Positively Aware magazine asked the film’s director, producer and editor Terrence Crawford, director of Formerly Productions LLC, what his motivation was for making the film and what he hopes it will accomplish. What inspired you to make this film? Crystal City began as a 20-minute-long student film for Sam Pollard’s documentary production class [at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts]. At the time, it was called Crystal Clear. Ultimately, we scrapped and reshot all of the footage when producing the feature, but the basic premise remained the same. Two of the original characters in that short version appear in the 90-minute iteration. I was inspired to create Crystal City in part because of the persistence of John Maidman, the film’s cinematographer and producer. After watching my short film, he believed that he could help provide the resources and cinematographic talent necessary to produce a feature-length documentary on recovery from crystal meth addiction in NYC’s gay community. I personally have been in recovery from crystal meth addiction since early 2015 and share much of the same history as my documentary subjects. Sobriety and the 12-step model of recovery has dramatically improved my life for the better ever since. However, for years, I www.peachatl.com
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was embarrassed to share my experience in recovery even with friends and family. This is because crystal meth addiction is a largely taboo subject in conversation and it can be difficult for recovering addicts to be open about their history with loved ones. In part, lack of representation in film and television plays a major role in the stigma associated with meth addiction. Most other documentaries and scripted films about addiction focus primarily on the tragedy and despair of active using without offering solutions or hope. I wanted to make a documentary that reduces this stigma by representing a group of crystal meth addicts as talented, resourceful and intelligent people in recovery capable of long-term sobriety and life improvement. My intention is for the general public to relate to these recovering crystal meth addicts, not to pity them as hopeless cases. Crystal City is primarily a call to compassion. What do you hope people will take away from the film? I want audiences to leave the theater with a fresh perspective on people in recovery. I hope the audience remembers that crystal meth has been around for over a century – used by heads of state, combat soldiers in World War II, 1950s housewives, and finally by LGBTQ communities. Audience members should understand that methamphetamine releases four times as much dopamine as cocaine and six times as much as sex. So much dopamine is released, in fact, that nearly everyone who repeatedly uses methamphetamine is at risk of becoming dependent, regardless of predisposition. After all, meth addiction impacts people from all walks of life, gay and straight, from the gutter to the penthouse. Hopefully our audience will relate to these documentary subjects and recognize that addicts in their own lives are capable of success and redemption.
Anything else you would like to add? I hope viewers aren’t turned off by the heavy subject matter and will give the film a chance. The overall arc of the story is about redemption with a hopeful, uplifting tone. Also – while this isn’t explicitly covered in the film, harm reduction treatment modalities such as GMHC’s “Recharge” program [in New York City] are receiving the most resources and funding from the city and department of health. The film isn’t opposed to harm reduction because 12-step programs and therapy aren’t necessarily a good fit for every addict. Abstinence should be the ultimate goal in my opinion, but it’s best to meet each person where they are at in their recovery and not to shame them if they are unable to maintain sobriety. As stated in the film, the most effective treatment options tend to involve some sort of community and peer support. It’s very difficult to recover in a vacuum without the help of a supportive social network. Crystal City is available to stream or purchase on iTunes and Amazon. Jeff Berry is the editorin-chief of Positively Aware magazine, and Director of Publications at Test Positive Aware Network in Chicago. Find him on Twitter @PAEditor. This column is a project of Plus, Positively Aware, POZ, The Body and Q Syndicate, the LGBT wire service.
Photos courtesy of Terrence Crawford
PEACH_Map_V4.pdf 1 11/30/2019 12:26:17 PM
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Amsterdam Blake's Bulldogs Friends
6 My Sister’s Room 7 Ten Atlanta
Dining 502 Amsterdam Ave NE 227 10th St NE 893 Peachtree St NE 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE 66 12th St NE 990 Piedmont Ave NE
10 th & Piedmont Campagnolo Einstein's F.R.O.G.S
991 Piedmont Ave NE 980 Piedmont Ave NE 1077 Juniper St NE 931 Monroe Cir NE
clubs 13 Atlanta Eagle
306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
fitness
retail 8 BarkingLeather
9 10 11 12
306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
14 Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave NE
spa/bath 15 Flex Spa
32 | follow us @ peachatlmag
76 4th St. NW
16 17 18 19
G’s Midtown Henry’s Joe's on Juniper La Hacienda
219 10th St NE 132 10th St NE 1049 Juniper St NE 900 Monroe Dr NE
billards/Darts drag dancers leather non-smoking area Patio
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Piedmont Park BARS 2043 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1086 Alco St NE 1931 Piedmont Cir NE 2425 Piedmont Rd NE 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd
32 33 34 35 36
Midtown Moon Felix's The Hideaway Mixx Oscar's
1510 Piedmont Ave Suite A 2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1739 Cheshire Bridge Rd 2201 Faulkner Rd NE
Spa / bath 2135 Liddell Drive NE
1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 1544 Piedmont Ave NE 1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
Dining 38 Eclectic Bistro
Fitness 30 Gravitee Fitness
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clubs 28 Heretic 29 Tokyo Valentino
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1600 Piedmont Ave NE 1425 Piedmont Ave NE
Retail 39 Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave NE 40 Brushstrokes/Pleasures 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
Fitness 41 Equilibrium Fitness
1529 Piedmont Ave, Suite L
NOT SHOWN
Mary's Sister Louisa’s Church Swinging Richards Lips Atlanta The T
1287 Glenwood Ave SE 466 Edgewood Ave SE 1400 Northside Dr NW 3011 Buford Hwy NE 465 Boulevard SE
A snapshot of Gay Atlanta’s favorite destinations. View their ads in Peach ATL & visit their websites for weekly event listings.
Bars & Clubs
EAST ATLANTA, GRANT PARK & EDGEWOOD
Retail
MIDTOWN
MARY’S
MIDTOWN
amsterdamatlanta.com
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AMSTERDAM
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CHESHIRE
SWINGING RICHARDS
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ANSLEY
BULLDOGS
Dining
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blakesontheparkatlanta.com 227 10th St NE
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friendsonponce-atl.com
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THE T
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CHESHIRE
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HENRY’S
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MIDTOWN
CHESHIRE
FLEX SPA
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76 4th St NW
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10 Things to do in your underwear Because we are confined to our homes right now, we are probably spending more time than ever just in our underwear. And that’s absolutely fine – in fact, there are some things that become even better when performed in your skivvies!
Have a dance party Music and underwear are made for each other! Give your dog a bath Why wear clothes when washing your best doggie friend? Meditate Stripping down peels away layers for deeper concentra�on Write It is libera�ng and quite lovely! Clean the house You’ll only get dirty, so why not strip down Exercise Exercise or yoga feels so great when you’re near naked Watch a movie or TV show Your TV doesn’t care Zoom date It’s good way to keep things hot while isolated Eat Get into that food and make a mess! Sleep Keep it simple! 36 | follow us @ peachatlmag
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How do I tell this guy I love him? Just suck it up and do it! E-mail your Peach Pits to mikkel@PeachATL.com
Ok, I love you
I’ve spent two weeks hanging out with myself, and I’m so sorry to every person I have ever spent time with
I don’t understand how this virus got so bad when there are SO many middle-aged women with healing crystals
Aw, love you too, now go tell him! Just did! Ok, what did he say? Did he say it back? ...
...
I have reached the age where sleeping with the wrong pillow feels like I fell out of a 12th story window
Asking for a Friend What is a good wine pairing to cereal?
Why be eye candy when you can be soul food?
Daddy Joke Alert What do you call a lonely cheese? Provolone
The spontaneous flashbacks to partying with my friends are becoming more and more vivid!
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www.peachatl.com
LIBRA (SEP. 23 - OCT. 22) Things may seem smooth, but problems with friends are simmering just beneath the surface. There’s a tension in the air that’s palpable, and it’s what’s not being said that is speaking volumes. Sooner or later things will reach a boiling point, but try to keep your cool today. Go about your business, but gather your allies; you’ll need them when the roof blows off.
SCORPIO (OCT. 23 - NOV. 21) After being quarantined together for weeks, your partner has suggested opening up your relationship when isolation is over - and you couldn’t be more hurt or insulted. It may be time to think about your place in this partnership. It’s supposed to be one-on-one, not the one and the many. Take some time to yourself today, and ask yourself some tough questions. If you’re not man enough for him, surely you are for someone else.
TAURUS (APR. 20 - MAY 20)
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 - DEC. 21)
Romance is about to come knocking, and if you play it right, it plans on staying a while. Will you be ready? Start prepping by working out (at home) and upping your grooming regimen that has been slightly neglected during lockdown. This way, you will feel like your best self once romance touches down. Its flight has been delayed, but it’s on its way. And it’s coming for you.
Life will need a magnifying glass today, as the small details will present the biggest problems. Seeing the forest for the trees isn’t always easy; there’s always distractions lurking in the woods, and they’re rarely wearing clothes. It won’t be as hard as you think if you keep your mind on the minutia.
GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUN. 20)
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 - JAN. 19)
Busybodies are busy spreading gossip and rumors about you, but keep try to keep your big mouth in check. There’s something slightly flattering about being the focus of such attention, but keep some perspective today. Protesting and defending your name will only fuel the fire. Your true friends will recognize it as the idle chatter of empty minds, and pay it no mind.
Your discipline will be sorely tested today as a sexy, magnetic stranger tests your fidelity. He’s smooth and he’s suave and he’s oh-so persuasive. Look past the muscles, the tight jeans and the tired come-on lines. The one who really loves you is quarantined with you at home, and that’s where you need to be. Right now.
CANCER (JUN. 21 - JUL. 22)
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 - FEB. 18)
You’re a true original. As such, some of your ideas are rooted in an originality that can only be called unique. Okay, maybe the electronic dog walker didn’t quite pan out. There were people who thought Michelangelo was a kook, too. Keep the fires of the idea factory stoked today. Great minds think alike, and there are people who will be receptive to your ideas, and will be willing to take them further now that our world order seems to have changed.
While others yawn while elders tell stories of their past, you hang on every word. There’s so much you can learn from their tales; they’ve been places and done things you only dream about. Live vicariously through them today by using their words to fuel your own imagination. They could give you inspiration to write, or to travel to the places they’ve been.
LEO (JUL. 23 - AUG. 22)
PISCES (FEB. 19 - MAR. 20)
Your almost celebrity-like status has you the belle of the ball today, and everywhere hot men are vying for your attention. You know, you can’t indulge in all of the attention for now, but that’s all the better, because under normal circumstance, you would probably overindulge in it all. Instead, get a little exercise in today and show yourself some love. Be mindful of how you tend to take in too much of the good life, and use that lesson for the future, so it doesn’t eventually settle on more than your waistline.
Throughout history people have used beautiful words to woo other people, whether an individual or a mass audience. Either way, it’s all about exposing your soul to someone else, and that puts you in a vulnerable place. The risk will be worth it today, so tell Mr. Special how you feel. Write him a letter or poem that he can keep and cherish. Or eliminate the middle process, and just tell him.
VIRGO (AUG. 23 - SEP. 22)
ARIES (MAR. 21 - APR. 19)
You’re a practical guy, and sometimes there’s no room for spontaneity in your well thought out and deeply analyzed world. You bring these admirable aspects to your love life, and maybe that’s why you’re not having enough naughty fun. Even though yo can’t get physical with anyone new just yet, drop your inhibitions today (and your pants), and seek out alternative ways to get a little dirty.
Contrary to what you expected, you come into a little extra money – perhaps overtime from those extra hours you put in while working from home? Take some of that windfall and spend it on yourself today. The world is locked down, but you can find your high-end department store online. You can also set the money aside for a well-deserved trip abroad when this is all over, or buy some expensive possessions for your home. You deserve a little mental health retail therapy.
Trouble in the love department? With sex? Or just people in general? Send us your queries, questions, and problems, and you’ll get answers served straight up and with a little ice.
I recently moved to the city from the countryside, and I am just getting into the dating scene and having sex and all that. The Internet is a great resource, but I do feel like there are some questions about gay sex that I would like to talk to someone about – especially on how to avoid STDs and practice responsible sex once this pandemic lets us out of our houses again. I did think about talking to my doctor, but he is the family doctor, so I don’t feel comfortable talking to him about this. I am also still under my parent’s insurance, so I don’t feel like I can switch doctors like that. Is there a resource I can go to for this? Sincerely New Gay In Town
I just got into a massive argument with my best friend, because he was telling me how he was meeting this guy to play tennis, and then afterward, they made out at his house. I, half-jokingly, half-seriously, said that I hope he was prepared to be quarantined for two weeks because he had just exposed himself to the coronavirus, and we got into an argument about sexual behavior and risks during this COVID-19 pandemic. He said that this guy, who worked in healthcare, had isolated himself too, and that they didn’t have sex, so he was fine. I said that this wasn’t the time to hook up with anybody because of the risk and that he had effectively exposed himself by making out with this guy. Plus, my friend is HIV+, so he should be extra careful right now. My friend got really upset with me because he was convinced he was safe, and I kept telling him that he was not, and out of caution, he should strictly quarantine himself for two weeks. So was I completely in the wrong here? Does he have a point? Help me out here, because I am scared that my friend’s behavior is risky – and ultimately, I don’t want him to get sick! Sincerely Cautious
Dear New Gay In Town Yes, there is a resource for your questions – and it’s a gay doctor! Assuming that your parents know that you are gay, you should be able to tell them that you would feel more comfortable talking to a gay doctor more openly about things you would find difficult to talk to your family physician about. Even if your parents don’t know you’re gay, you should still be able to switch your doctor. You may be under their insurance, but as an adult, you have the right to make that choice for yourself. Having a gay doctor is a huge advantage, and being able to talk openly about your sex life and choices in a judgment-free environment is ideal for securing that you have optimal health and that you are aware of specific risks. Not saying that non-gay docs won’t be able to do this, but it is nice to be able to openly talk to your doctor about sexual health with someone who has the same scope of reference. So talk to your parents about getting a new doctor and make that switch. Your health will thank you for it.
Dear Cautious Your friend can meet someone to play tennis because you aren’t anyway near each other – but that’s just about where your friend’s rationale ends. Because what he did afterward has indeed put him – and others – at risk. I sincerely hope that he is not embarking on a new (physical) relationship right now; it is simply not the time. I also hope that he has listened to your advice on isolating himself – he shouldn’t be seeing anybody that he saw before this incident. Here’s why: even though he has been isolating himself, he has now introduced someone into his world that could be carrying this virus. This guy even works in healthcare, which means he is likely already exposed more to the virus than others. Even though this guy is asymptomatic, he can still carry the virus, and because your friend made out with him, he is now exposed. And he even brought him into his house, which means this virus that can live on surfaces for days can be anywhere. The rules are right now are simple: no sex (which includes making out!) with anyone outside your household. And if you have a compromised immune system, as your friend, the recommendation is even no sex with anyone! I hope that you get a chance to talk to revisit this with your friend again, and hopefully, he will listen this time.
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