Peach Magazine V4-20 - All Together for Out Front

Fundraising for Out Front Next Level Custom Masks The Power of Musical Theater Exploring Gender & Sexual Identity Doin’ the “Mess Around” Yanni Burton Gets the Remix Treatment

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Contents MAY 27, 2020

V4-20

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8

PEACH MEDIA 925b Peachtree St. NE, #168 Atlanta, GA 30309

MANAGING PARTNER Brian Sawyer brian@peachatl.com

OPERATIONS Jeff Anderson Sales and Development Director

jeff@peachatl.com

EDITORIAL Mikkel Hyldebrandt Editorial Director

24

12

mikkel@peachatl.com Brian Sawyer Graphics

From the Editor

SALES | DISTRIBUTION Andrea Dwyer

At the onset of this global pandemic, Peach experienced what countless others have: our world was turned upside down within just days.

So, what do you do when crisis hits and threatens your livelihood?

At Peach, we felt compelled to continue to publish our magazine in print and online to fortify our commitment to being a support for our vibrant community.

This issue is a prime example of that resolve. As you can see, we have worked closely with Out Front Theatre Company, and we have dedicated space to promote their fabulous fundraiser, which auctions off custom masks made by their costume designer, Jay Reynolds. The collaboration also showcases their handsome cast members, who modeled the masks. You’ll be able to see more masks and learn more about the models at peachatl.com - and stay tuned for even more masked models in next week’s issue of Peach!

andrea@peachatl.com

CONTRIBUTORS Kevin Assam Paul Conroy Sam Shapiro

NATIONAL AD REP Rivendell Media | 908.232.2021

ON THE COVER Photography: Tyler Ogburn Model: Bradley Johnson

A huge thank you to Out Front Theatre Company – hopefully, our joint efforts will make some fundraising waves!

Mikkel Hyldebrandt | Editorial Director IG @hyldebrandt ONLINE

PRINT

SOCIAL

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At Distribution Points Across the City

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The content of Peach ATL Media is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice. The opinions expressed by any writer, advertiser, or other person appearing in the Peach ATL Media are not necessarily those of this publication, its management or staff. The information and materials appearing in the magazine are not guaranteed or warranted as to accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness, or suitability of the information and materials found or offered for a particular purpose. It shall be your responsibility to ensure that any products, services, or information available through Peach ATL Media meets your specific requirements. Peach ATL Media is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, content of information, changes, events, and schedules. The magazine contains information and material which is owned by or licensed to Peach ATL Media, including but not limited to articles, advertisements, design, layout, graphics, and logos. No part or portion of Peach ATL Media may be reproduced in any way without the prior written consent of the publisher.

Unauthorized use of Peach ATL Media may give rise to claims for damages and or criminal offenses. Your use of the information or materials in Peach ATL Media is strictly at your own risk.

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I think these masks, which really should be worn over the disposable medical masks for even better safety, are perfect for any formal occasion coming up in the next few months, or even a romantic dinner for two at one of Atlanta’s reopened restaurants. If Atlanta Pride is able to go on this year (and we all are hoping it will), I could see these masks being the talk of the parade, the park, or any party. Or they might be the perfect accessory for a drag performer for when the bars open up again. Then again, you might just want to show off to your friends at the pool (when they reopen).

All of the models are gorgeous – and they are all somehow connected to Out Front?

By Mikkel Hyldebrandt

To support the arts and Out Front, the theatre company has launched a fundraiser auctioning off fabulous face cover created by their costume department. Peach spoke to director Paul Conroy about the fundraiser.

In these times of a pandemic, how has it impacted Out Front Theatre?

Out Front has completely stopped all in-person operations, with no firm timeline on when we can reopen. This is true for every theater and performing arts company in the city and practically everywhere else. We have to make sure that we can create a safe environment for both audiences and artists before reopening. Because of our closing, we are not on the radar of many people right now. They are used to coming and seeing shows of ours, but that isn’t an option. Because of legal constraints, we aren’t allowed to broadcast or stream most of our productions, so we are working on original digital content for audiences. So since we are not entertaining people in person, and with no firm timeline on when we can reopen, our ticket sales have totally dried up, and donations are basically nonexistent at this point.

Every model has either appeared on stage in one of our productions or is slated to appear in one of our upcoming productions. We are so lucky that all of them jumped at the chance to get out of the house and take part in this photoshoot. We were very careful not to have too many people present at the same time so we could practice social distancing. I think they all loved the opportunity to have some fun and be in the sun at a pool for a couple of hours.

Tell us about how and where we can bid on these incredible face masks?

All the bidding information will be at outfronttheatre.com or on our social media platforms, which are all @outfronttheatre.

C

Anything you’d like to add?

M

Right now, the safety and well-being of everyone in our community needs to be at the forefront of everyone’s minds, but I hope that people don’t forget about the arts. Out Front is one of a few local queer arts organizations that are dedicated to telling the stories of our community, and once the pandemic is over, the Atlanta queer community will be greatly weakened if those organizations are no longer around.

Y

CM

MY

CY

CMY

K

Tell us about your fundraiser – what is the idea behind it?

Our resident Costume Designer, Jay Reynolds, and our Associate Costume Designer, Jacob Lavoie, have been working with volunteers to make 1000 fabric masks for first responders, residents at nursing homes, and whomever else might need them. In the process of doing that, they decided to get creative and start making masks that are, to use a phrase we all know too well, fabulous! They started to handmake masks that have jewels and sequins, and pretty soon, they had made a dozen plus one of a kind masks that are certainly not what you see people wearing in the grocery store. We thought auctioning off the masks would be a great way to connect with our audiences and to help the theater out during this crisis. So, we asked 12 actors, all who have or will soon be on stage at Out Front, to model the masks for the fundraiser. It was then that we realized we wanted to take it up a notch and collaborate with Peach, and with summer here, we decided to work with Boy Next Door to feature some of their swimsuits on the models. We think it’s vital for all local queer businesses and non-profits to band together always, but especially now during the pandemic.

Although these beautifully embellished face covers are still practical, they may not be suitable for everyday wear – where do you imagine someone wearing them?

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Photo: Tyler Ogburn Model: Bradley Johnson

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Out Front Theatre Company launches a fundraiser in collaboration with Peach and Boy Next Door Menswear to connect with their audience and to help the theater out during this crisis.

The Fundraiser Since March Out Front Theatre Company has halted all in-person operations with no set timeline yet as to when they will reopen. In an effort to support the theatre, they have launched a fundraiser auctioning off the masks you see on these pages.

masks for first responders, residents at nursing homes, they came up with the idea to handmake masks with jewels and sequins to wear on special occasions. With access to costumes and materials, they have created over a dozen face masks that are unique and perfect for special events (at best worn with a disposable mask for added safety). Out Front also asked their acting cast to model the masks at a special social distance photo shoot.

To widen the scope of the fundraiser, Out Front is collaborating with Peach and Boy Next Door Menswear to underline the importance of supporting local LGBTQ businesses during this time.

Check out peachatl.com for more information about the Out Front models and the masks they are All masks are created by resident wearing.

Costume Designer, Jay Reynolds, and Associate Costume Designer, Jacob Lavoie under the name of Panopoly Designs. In the process of working with volunteers to make 1000 fabric Photography by Tyler Ogburn All swimwear provided

by Boy Next Door Menswear

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“Right now, the safety and well-being of everyone in our community needs to be at the forefront of everyone’s minds, but I hope that people don’t forget about the arts.

Out Front is one of a few local queer arts organizations that are dedicated to telling the stories of our community, and once the pandemic is over, the Atlanta queer community will be greatly weakened if those organizations are no longer around.”

- Paul Conroy, Founder & Producing Artistic Director

How to Bid All the bidding information will be at outfronttheatre.com or on their social media platforms, which are all @ outfronttheatre.

In celebration of Pride month and their own 40th anniversary, Boy Next Door Menswear is offering 25% off any regular priced items using the offer code 40LOVE. Offer is valid online at boynextdoormenswear.com or in-store until the end of June 2020.

BOY NEXT DOOR

MENSWEAR / ATLANTA ANT ANTA

Y

anni Burton’s new single, “Mess Around,” is a smooth, sassy, I’m-a do-me ballad with a dash of ‘f’ you. The young out artist wrote it after experiencing his first tumultuous split from being cheated on. But the song doesn’t deal with the pain or regret of time wasted on his ex; it focuses on the recovery and rebuild of Yanni’s own sexual, emotional, and physical identity.

“I wanted to let a certain someone know that I was back, stronger than ever,” Burton reveals. “Playing the field and messing around after a break-up is the best anecdote for heartbreak. It helps

a guy to rediscover what he likes and what he’s no longer willing to tolerate, and it also helps to rebuild confidence.”

Yanni grew confident enough to strip down for the campaign images that accompany “Mess Around.” “It was my first nude shoot,” he exclaims. “I loved it! As soon as I stripped down, I felt the power that the song is about.”

The Pool Cosby Remix of Yanni Burton’s “Mess Around” releases this month.

How do you feel about remixers re-working your songs?

Doin’ the “Mess Around” Yanni Burton Gets the Remix Treatment

By Sam Shapiro

I absolutely love it. The two remixes of “Mess Around” out now are completely different, to the point where you probably wouldn’t recognize they came from the same song. That’s what I love about collaborations.

You aren’t bothered by remixers adding their own interpretations to your songs?

No, different perspectives and style add new quality and dimension to the work.

The original “Mess Around” was a letter to your ex, to let him know that you had moved on.

It was also a letter to myself, to recognize the mistakes I had made in the relationship. I realize now that it’s very important to stand up for one self in a relationship as, ultimately, that is what is going to make the union solid.

If there’s a power imbalance, with one person constantly walking on eggshells or accommodating the other’s needs all the time, a relationship can’t work because the less dominant partner begins to lose his identity.

What kind of crazy shit did you get into during your mess around period?

(Laughing) I had my share of late nights out…

What did you learn?

I learned what I really wanted in my next relationship; how communication and respect are essential.

When did you know it was time to stop messing around?

One late night out in New York City at a drag-show, I met Jordan, the man who would become my fiancé and that was it for me! From pretty early on, we knew had something good, and here we are eight years later.

Fans can still see Yanni Burton “Mess Around” on Instagram.

Follow him @yburton.

Summer Soundtracking

By Mikkel Hyldebrandt

A big part of summer are the songs and tracks that create the soundtrack for your season – and luckily, listening to great music is one of the things that hasn’t been canceled this summer!

Here are a few of those tunes that will be on repeat and set the vibe for the coming months.

Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande – Rain On Me The second forerunner single from Lady Gaga’s much anticipated Chromatica album is a funfilled and danceable song featuring Arian Grande that will be perfect for blasting in your car with the windows rolled down.

Rigel Gemini – Fay & Night (feat. TIAAN) Atlanta-based influencer Rigel Gemini has released his second single, and the upbeat song featuring TIAAN has a great poolside vibe where the day flows effortlessly into the night.

Lauv – El Tejano (feat Sofia Reyes) Lauv’s new single is an upbeat, suave, and lighthearted pop number that features the talented Sofia Reyes. The song (and video) captures that happy, giddy feeling when you make eye contact with your crush across the room.

Carly Rae Jepsen – This Love Isn’t Crazy After teasing a B-side release of her amazing Dedicated album, Carly Rae Jepsen has just done just that! The new companion album starts with the upbeat pop tune ‘This Love Isn’t Crazy” – a classic Carly Rae song with a chorus that’s begging for a singalong.

Crystal Starr – Goodie Two Shoes (feat. L Michelle) The nod to nineties R&B and pop is evident, and the happy throwback spirit is enjoyable and uplifting. Crystal’s range is impressive and a joy to listen to – and the song is just so so hot!

Doja Cat – Say So (feat. Nicki Minaj) Doja Cat’s ‘Say So’ has made waves since its release, and several great remixes have kept it alive. Now it has been released in a new remix featuring Nicki Minaj, and we are all glad that Minaj took time out of her hiatus to do this because, yet again, it is giving us life.

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@outfronttheatre outfronttheatre.com

OUT FRONT FLASHBACK

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This week’s cover model, Bradley, is pretty new to Atlanta. He moved here in March of 2019 after completing his Theatre Performance and English degree from Florida State University. Originally from Royal Palm Beach, Florida, Bradley lives in Midtown and works at Orange Theory on Peachtree Street. His true passion is on the stage, and you may have seen him performing around town since he moved here. If you haven’t, you can see him in the iconic The Boys in the Band at Out Front Theatre Company soon! @markus_fletch @bradleyt.johnson @bluee_eyed_boyy

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E X P L O R I N G G E N D E R & S E X UA L IDENTITY THROUGH M U S I C A L T H E AT E R

By Kevin Assam

Stephen Kitsakos is a theatre writer and librettist with 40 years in the performing arts. His work has been seen across cities including New York, Chicago, Miami, London, Bogota, and Medellin.

He was a contributing writer for The Sondheim Review and developed LGBTQ themed courses at SUNY New Paltz as a member of the Theatre Arts faculty for 15 years. His online course, Exploring Gender & Sexual Identity Through Musical Theater, is available through TSKW.org. Registration is free with any donations going towards the nonprofit The Studios of Key West.

How early into the pandemic did you decide to get back into the role of a lecturer?

I didn’t need any incentive. I had been doing this at The Studios of Key West for the past few years.

The organization is multi-disciplinary and interdisciplinary. Many adults who love arts and culture are interested in extension learning, but are not called to create visual or performing art. They merely want to experience it by presentation of new or unfamiliar works and responding to challenging questions. I had already adapted the curriculum I developed as a college professor into two classes.

One in 2019—Sailing the Wine Dark Sea: Reimagining Greek Tragedy for the 21st Century, and in 2018—Lesbian & Gay Identity in 20th Century Dramatic Literature. Of course, incentives now were no exams, papers, or presentations. In mid-March when we canceled our programming for the remainder of the season, I developed material for an online course, Exploring Gender & Sexual Identity Through Musical Theater, which would examine three seminal works: Cabaret, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and Fun Home. We could still be relevant even if we could not have participants in the same room together.

What makes these three works relevant to the discussion of sexual identity in this new decade?

The increased visibility of transgender and nonbinary persons, and the idea that there is a spectrum of identities that are not exclusively male or female, have made it possible to go back and discuss works through this lens. Cabaret, initially presented its male protagonist, Cliff, in 1966 as a heterosexual cisgender male and the emcee as a sort of circus ringmaster. In the 1972 film, the same character is presented as bisexual and in the 1987 revival and revisionist version in the mid-1990s he is homosexual. The emcee is also transformed into an androgynous pansexual individual. Hedwig and the Angry Inch makes a similar journey from 1998 to 2014 and Fun Home explores similar ideas and intentions.

Why focus on the broader gender and sexual identity of musical theater instead of lesbian and gay

identities as with your previous course on literature?

The majority of people do not understand that gender identity is separate from sexual orientation.

Non-binary persons have a variety of sexual orientations just as cisgender people do. The emergence of those who identify outside the heteronormative is always difficult for some to wrap their heads around. Education, especially through the lens of popular culture, is a great way to educate.

Will we be able to measure the full extent of the pandemic’s effects on musical theater for this and future seasons?

As of now, I’d say firmly, no. There’s no way of measuring anything because there is only uncertainty, ambivalence, confusion, and distrust.

It is worst here in the United States because the sense of entitlement and self-absorption, masquerading as what many citizens think are their democratic rights, is immeasurable. I am doubtful that people who normally attend live performance will want to gather, whether in large or small groups, masked or unmasked, separated or unified, indoors or outdoors, for a while. At least until there are proven treatments or a vaccine.

Theater art exists as the live intersection between spectator and performer. Without that you don’t have theater. It’s something else. This is not limited to the arts, but also to spectator sports, casinos, political rallies, religious gatherings.

Social distancing is, by itself, anti-social, anti-art, and anti-humanity.

Will there be a surplus of pandemic themed musicals whenever the next theater season turns out to be?

All art is derived from the concept of mimesis—imitation of things both real or imagined. In my lifetime the Vietnam War, the emergence of counter-cultural revolutions, AIDS, the digital revolution, all influenced the creation of art. I am certain the pandemic will be reflected.

For registration and further information visit TSKW.org

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May 27 - June 03

Due to the ongoing pandemic, events on this page may get canceled or postponed, so don’t forget to keep up to date by visiting Facebook pages and websites to keep yourself informed on the status of an event.

Drag Queen Story Hour The Atlanta Pride Committee presents another edition of Drag Queen Story Hour with Miss Terra Cotta Sugarbaker and Atlanta Contemporary. Tune in to Facebook Live & Periscope for some kid-friendly fun.

Thursday, May 28, 8 – 9 pm Facebook Live and Periscope

Telethon for Southern & Appalachian Artists This live-streamed “Big Ass Telethon to End Metronormativity” spectacular will feature drag artists, musicians, comedians, dancers, and more. Presented by Wussy Mag, Queer Appalachia, and Southern Fried Queer Pride.

Saturday, May 30, 8 – 11 pm Twitch (twitch.tv/endmetronormativity)

Georgia Equality Town Hall Georgia Equality continues their Virtual Town Hall series, this time with their endorsed candidate David Cooke, Macon Judicial Circuit District Attorney.

Monday, June 1, 6 – 6:30 pm Facebook Live

Mary’s Friday Nite Happy Hour + Queer Bait Mary’s invade your living rooms with two DJ sets: first the classic Mary’s video party for Happy Hour (7 pm-9 pm) and then Queer Bait (9-12ish) for the latest queer/indie/dance videos.

Friday, May 29, 7 – 11:30 pm Twitch (twitch.tv/marysatlanta)

OUT Georgia Virtual Business Builder Lunch OUT Georgia Business Alliance’s virtual Business Builder Lunch series is a great way to network on a smaller, more intimate level through Zoom! Katie Leikam hosts BBL Decatur, and your Zoom login details will be sent to you once you register.

Wednesday, June 3, 12 pm Zoom Meeting

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10 Ways to Preserve Your Mental Health Our world has been turned upside down, so here’s what you can do for your mental wellbeing

Establish a rou�ne

Set your alarm, keep meal�mes, maintain your workday, have off �me

Medita�on and mindfulness

Learn acceptance techniques and nurture a posi�ve mindset

Keep things in perspec�ve

Many who contract COVID-19 only experience mild symptoms, and the best things you can do is to take proper precau�ons for you and loved ones.

Be Kind to Yourself

Self-compassion is important, and many people share your experience so prac�ce kindness

Musical therapy

Upli�ing music can re-code your brain to be more posi�ve and happy

Exercise regularly

Endorphins, the opioid-like chemicals the body releases when you move, will give you a more posi�ve outlook

Get a hobby

Keep your hands and brains busy with a newfound hobby

Tune out the nega�ve

Limit your news intake, cut back on social media, and turn to more lighthearted entertainment op�ons

Lean on your network

It’s okay to say that you are struggling and that you need a li�le extra support right now

Priori�ze sleep

Make sure you get enough sleep even if that means the occasional nap during the day 32 | follow us @ peachatlmag

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Stevie Nicks makes music for people who slide down the wall when they cry

It is clear that a certain type of guys wear jeans that have bigger back pockets to help carry all their audacity

If a fart can get through two ass cheeks, underwear, and jeans, don’t you think you should be wearing a mask for a little protection?

I’m getting really tired of being part of a major historical event …

What started out as a virus has mutated into an IQ test Sorry I left you on read – I didn’t mean to open it

Signs that we are living in a new normal: me scrolling through Instagram thinking “ooooh, that’s a cute face mask!”

Looking for someone to play bagpipes while I masturbate. No weirdos please!

34 | follow us @ peachatlmag

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SCORPIO (OCT. 23 - NOV. 21) While being in isolation together, keeping your sanity in your relationship will call for compromises today. It will be all about flexibility.

You like things done your way, and that’s not good for everyone, especially those who have to be around you every day. You have to admit you can be demanding, so be flexible today, and let your partner have a say. Relationships are better when everyone feels equal – especially when you are socially distancing together.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 - DEC. 21) In contrast to the big picture of a global pandemic, you’re beginning to look at your relationship in terms of the smaller details.

Putting your relationship under a microscope can be beneficial, and seeing the tinier aspects helps you appreciate each other as individuals, as well as partners. But don’t get too analytical. Being surprised by interesting personality aspects is part of the fun of healthy relationships. In the big picture of things.

GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUN. 20)

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 - JAN. 19)

Even at a social distance, your flirty personality gets the attention of plenty of guys. Maybe it’s really you, or a clever act designed to lure guys into your cute little web. It’s a little of both, actually, as you’ve learned how to harness that power to your advantage. Have fun with it, but watch how far you go today and keep it at a social distance. Once they find out you’re all talk, they may want you to put your money where your mouth is.

Through the years you’ve remained faithful to your partner although your fidelity has been tempted by many persuasive men over time.

But being together throughout this world health crisis has given you an added layer of maturity and clarity of thought to realize what you stand to lose. Your partner may have no idea of these past challenges, and you may not want to tell him. He may have a few sordid stories of his own you’d rather not hear.

CANCER (JUN. 21 - JUL. 22)

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 - FEB. 18)

While on one of the apps, your eye immediately caught this guy. Introductions were made, pleasantries were exchanged, and contact info was shared along with a few naughty pics and promises. Now what? You don’t want to seem desperate or needy, so let him reach out to you is what you are thinking. In the meantime, he’s thinking the same thing, so if you want to meet him in person (once it is safe to do so), pick up that phone, write that DM, and get him. Dancing about won’t get you anywhere.

It is a perfect time for you to reach out to your older relatives. You love hearing stories from the past, and they are a goldmine. Through their tales, you can learn things about them that you never knew, and it helps you appreciate them more. Give them a call today, and let them talk today, so you can soak up their every word. You’ll see that at one point in their lives, they were just like you, but with simpler lives, and goals removed from our challenging times.

LEO (JUL. 23 - AUG. 22)

PISCES (FEB. 19 - MAR. 20)

You’ve gone through your list of home DIY projects, and now you’ve got a number of unfinished projects on the back burner - and they bear the names of people you said you’d get back to. Don’t string people along by making promises you have no intention of keeping. That’s just hurtful and cruel. Make it a point today to be honest, and thank them for the attention but tell them you’re not interested at this time. Be up front before shoving them to the back.

During this lockdown, you have honed your cooking skills considerably. You’ve marinated chicken breast in red wine and soy sauce, and the grill is just about ready. Let’s see, how about some garlic mashed potatoes, kale, scallion and mushrooms sautéed in olive oil and a nice salad with arugula and mixed veggies. You’ve got some soft music on and a nice bottle of cabernet.

Everything’s ready, and it’s time to eat. Alone. In front of the TV.

VIRGO (AUG. 23 - SEP. 22)

ARIES (MAR. 21 - APR. 19)

You’ve a taste for foreign cultures today, but the ongoing global pandemic will keep you close to home. Luckily, even somewhere as familiar as home can still offer some foreign intrigue, and it won’t be hard to find. Indulge in some wine and cheese from Italy, and why not get some delicious Thai take out tonight? In these times, we need to use your imagination, and you can go around the world in a day.

He’s locked all the doors, but you found the keys.

He’s thrown down a number of gauntlets, but you’ve overcome all the obstacles. He tried driving away in the car, but you’ve siphoned all the gas. By now he should be getting the picture that you’ve got your sights set on him, and he can’t escape.

Try persuading him in gentler way. That may work better now that the world has slowed down and other perspectives have come into play. It’ll work better than the battering ram.

LIBRA (SEP. 23 - OCT. 22)

TAURUS (APR. 20 - MAY 20)

Too much overindulgence in lockdown is finally catching up with you. The emotional toll of being quarantined may have you eating for comfort, and it was cheering you up until you got on the scale. Worse still, you’re finding it hard to stop.

Getting to the root of what’s bothering you could be a way to stop the madness. Figure it out, or hire a professional. It could always be worse. You could be smoking instead of eating.

Before the coronavirus locked everything dowm, you’ve had him come around strictly for your enjoyment. Now, that he is at a social distance, you find you have deeper feelings for him. You love how you relate to each other, and how he brings a fun energy to your life. You weren’t prepared for a romance, but here it is. Take the time during your separation to work on the deeper aspects of your relationship, and let him in further today. This diamond in the rough may turn out to be a keeper.

Trouble in the love department? With sex? Or just people in general? Send us your queries, questions, and problems, and you’ll get answers served straight up and with a little ice.

I have been practicing isolation and social distance for over two months now, and at this point, I am beyond just being horny. I miss human touch and intimacy, but I have stayed strong, and I have avoided sexual contact entirely – any kind of physical contact actually.

When the pandemic started, the guideline was not to engage or embark on anything new, and to stay pretty much abstinent. Has that changed at all? I mean, we are this far into it all now, and honestly, not having intimacy with someone is starting to be a mental health issue for me. Is there any way, shape, or form that I, as a single man during a worldwide pandemic, can start having sex again? Or just be close to another human being?

Sincerely Lonesome Lover

Dear Lonesome Lover You are to be loudly and lavishly commended for sticking to it this long. You are doing the absolute right thing not to – as you say – engage or embark on any sexual relationship right now.

But, as you mention, being single and not being intimate with another person for that long weighs heavily on your mental health. So even though the overall guideline is still to be as abstinent as possible, there are methods with which you can be intimate with someone. It hasn’t reached across the pond to us yet (but here’s hoping it will soon), but in the Netherlands, the general guidelines towards sex and COVID-19 when you’re single have been slightly amended to reflect the fact that sex and intimacy should also be considered essential to your mental and physical well-being. Their new guidelines suggest that you find a ‘corona sex buddy’ who has also been practicing safety measures like handwashing and social distancing for at least two weeks. If you can mutually establish that you have done everything you can not to get exposed to the virus, there is the option to build a safe(r) sex space for the two of you – but only the two of you! – where you can go at it as much as you please. Now, this construct does require a level of commitment on both parts, because you have to stick to just being the two of you.

The fact that you can have sex with one person should in no way encourage you to have sex with more people than your ‘corona sex buddy.’

That would totally defeat the purpose and all 36 | follow us @ peachatlmag

of the measures you have taken so far to protect yourself and others from this virus.

I am in the fortunate situation that I can work from home during this global health crisis, and I am grateful, but there’s one catch: I jerk off a lot during the day. That probably sounds great to a lot of guys, but the problem is that when my boyfriend comes over (we don’t live together), I am not in the mood for sex because I already got off multiple times during the day. I have really tried limiting it, but it is so easy to watch porn online and get off. I have also tried just edging, but at some point, I ejaculate by accident, and after edging for hours and hours, I really don’t feel like having sex. My boyfriend has been okay with it so far, but he is definitely starting to complain that we only have sex occasionally when we finally get together. How can I get better at not getting off all the time?

Sincerely Get Off Day Dear Get Off Day It sounds to me you have absolutely no impulse control if you can’t refrain from getting off, so you can have sex with your boyfriend. Masturbation is encouraged and recommended as a coping mechanism during these trying times, but if it impedes on your actual sexual relationship, then it’s a problem. It seems almost adolescent that you just can’t stop masturbating, and you need to be an adult about it and try – and really try!

– to focus on your work without watching porn and jerking off. Maybe you have forgotten how nice it is to have sex with an actual person, so your current default is the instant gratification of masturbation. And you are lucky to have someone right now that you can be intimate with when so many are literally alone. Talk to your boyfriend about it, explain that you want to break this cycle so the two of you can have better (and more!) sex.

Maybe he can stop by in a lunch break before you rub one out or even have phone sex together. Just don’t keep on undermining your sex life by doing this single-handedly (see what I did there?).

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