CONTENTS MAY 22, 2019
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From the Editor Memorial Day Weekend is here to honor the soldiers that have fallen while serving in the armed forces – and it is also kind of a ‘soft opening’ of summer where many use the three-day weekend to get away and throw down. If you’re not part of the migration out of Atlanta to a beachside somewhere (Pensacola, anyone?), the pools will be open all over town, so if you’re staycationing, there are plenty of options right here. Memorial Day Weekend also brings more than 50 softball teams to Atlanta for the Big Peach Softball Tournament, which is the biggest gay tournament of its kind, so be on the lookout for the visitors as they play ball but also partake in the extensive event program throughout the weekend. Our celebrity interview is with the hilarious duo Amy Poehler and Rachel Dratch who talk gay wine buddies, LGBTQ fans and Amy’s ‘soft butch’ style. And of course, there’s so much more in this juicy edition of Peach – so enjoy and have a safe Memorial Day!
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DO YOU WANNA CHUNK? The What, When, & Where What: Deep South Presents CHUNK When: Friday, May 24, 2019, 10 pm – 3 am Where: The Heretic
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CHUNK comes to Atlanta with a strong message of inclusion and representation for all. Originally conceived in Toronto, the CHUNK party started as an event that championed body positivity, safe space, and great music in the bear community. As the main focus has always been to break down barriers of all kinds, the event excels in welcoming all facets of the queer culture to the dancefloor including trans, POC, differently abled, and of course bears and cubs. The aim is for everyone to look around on the dancefloor and seeing themselves represented no matter what niche culture you feel represents you. The music will no doubt keep you on the dancefloor all night with sets by Atlanta’s own Vicki Powell, Marceaux Marceaux (SAUNA/Memphis), and Cakes (NOLA).
Andy. The Crowne Plaza is offering drink discounts and a cookout special for everyone, too. For Saturday night, we’ve partnered up with several of Atlanta’s favorite bars for our first “Stumble to the Diamond Bar Crawl.” Meet the players out at the Heretic, Woof’s, Oscar’s, and the Eagle throughout the night! Player’s receive drink special prices and no-covers with the official tournament wristband. The Big Peach Weekend closes out at long-time tournament sponsor, the Heretic. Teams will be presented their tournament trophies at this joint Awards Ceremony. Misti Shores is the returning hostess with performances by several guest drag entertainers! No cover charge with the official tournament wristband.
Pitching the Big Peach Weekend
Teams visit from all over the country – any particular teams you’d like to highlight? And why? We want to welcome and congratulate C-Division Champions, the Mid-Atlantic Thunder. They won the 2018 Gay Softball World Series in Tampa, FL last September edging out our very own Atlanta Wet Demons.
What is it about the Big Peach Softball Tournament that brings the community together? The Big Peach has been a staple in the LGBTQ softball community since the mid-’80s. It attracts and welcomes LGBTQ and allies from all over, as much as local, By Mikkel Hyldebrandt regional, and national gay teams. It’s a safe, all-inclusive tournament to play friendly and highly competitive Over the Memorial Day Weekend, the Hotlanta Softball softball. Members become a family and a network that League (HSL) will continue a 35-year old tradition of love and support on another. We grow strong together hosting an invitational softball tournament for the regardless of the challenges our community faces. LGBTQ community. The Big Peach Softball Tournament is one of the biggest tournaments in the North America Where and how can you watch the games? Gay Amateur Athletic Alliance (NAGAAA). This year, The D-Division will play at Southside Sports Complex the tournament will host C, D, and E divisions, and in in Atlanta, and the C & E-Divisions will play at Johnson addition to the fun and competitive play tournament, Park in Conyers. Fans can check the game schedule on the tournament will also have great events throughout the official tournament website: hslbigpeach.org. They the three-day weekend! Peach talked to Director Kyle can follow the bracket updates on facebook.com/groups/ Erickson about the tournament highlights and what to hslbigpeach. expect over the Big Peach Weekend. o Southside Sports Complex (3460 Jonesboro Rd SE, Tell us a little bit about this year’s tournament: how many teams Atlanta GA 30354) participate? Where are they all from and so on? This year’s Big Peach Tournament will host over 40 o Johnson Park (1781 Ebenezer Rd SW, Conyers GA teams from all over the country. HSL’s Atlanta teams will 30094) welcome teams arriving from Birmingham, Charlotte, Columbus, Fort Lauderdale, Indianapolis, Knoxville, Nashville, Norfolk, Raleigh, Orlando, Tampa and as far How can people learn more about joining the Hotlanta Softball as from Dallas, Denver, Pittsburgh, and Washington DC! League? Anyone interested in joining the league can find me, any Besides plenty of games, you have an excellent lineup of events and Big Peach Committee member, or any of the amazing parties – tell us a little bit about them. I hear there’s a pool party Tournament Volunteers this weekend! We would be and a hunky competition? happy to answer any questions and help introduce The Big Peach Weekend kicks off Friday night at the them to the league! They can also visit the website Crowne Plaza Atlanta Midtown for the Registration & hotlantasoftball.org. Opening Party. The party returns to the rooftop pool deck with hostess Ruby Redd with performances by several Anything you’d like to add? guest drag entertainers. Ruby Redd will emcee the ‘Mr. If you want to get involved, volunteer, or make a Big Peach Hunk Competition’ with games and prizes! donation, we would love to hear from you at The pool deck will be bumping with the beats of DJ hslbigpeach@gmail.com.
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WHAT ARE WE DOING Will be staying in FOR MEMORIAL DAY Atlanta because all my money is tied up in going to see the Spice Girls and Kylie in the UK in June and now Madonna WEEKEND? announces her tour... LiveNation take all my money!
By Mikkel Hyldebrandt
Eric
Hosting the Big Peach softball opening party Ruby Redd
MomoCon! Tony
Blake’s/TEN on the beach... aka Pensacola Joe
Sexacola! Pensacola Beach Memorial Day Weekend Pride Jami
I’m playing Deep South presents CHUNK Friday night. Then going to the spa. MarceauxMarceaux
Staycation: Decadent Weekend Davis
Camping at River’s Edge Campground Corey
K9’s and Cocktails at Henry’s Midtown on Saturday Anne
IML Chicago… Where TF else?! Dale
Cabin weekend in Blue Ridge Ronnie
We run the biggest event of the year at work... IDK why, but Memorial Day weekend is the busiest weekend of the year for us. Joon
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NAGVA Championships in Denver! Todd
Pool party at my house Rodney
Birthday Bash in San Francisco!! (My first time there!) Joshua
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S tonewall Stories Pride and Stonewall Reading List 2019 By Gregg Shapiro Photos: PR
Arriving just in time for the Stonewall 50 festivities, We Are Everywhere: Protest, Power, and Pride in the History of Queer Liberation (Ten Speed Press, 2019) by Matthew Riemer and Leighton Brown, tells a multitude of stories of the LGBTQ community in words and pictures, from 1868 to the present day. Updated and featuring a new introduction, Charles Kaiser’s landmark book The Gay Metropolis (Grove Press, 1997/2019), featuring the additional subtitle 50 Years After Stonewall, is even more essential reading than ever in light of the observance of the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots. The Stonewall riots figure prominently in historian and journalist St. Sukie de la Croix’s new book Out of the Underground: Homosexuals, The Radical Press, and the Rise and Fall of the Gay Liberation Front (Rattling Good Yarns, 2019), a thorough and enlightening exploration of the publications read and published by young, queer radicals in the “turbulent 1960s”. Almost everything you need to know about the paperback edition Going Into Town: A Love Letter to New York (Bloomsbury, 2017/2019), by beloved New Yorker cartoonist Roz Chast, can be found in the title. In nine illustrated chapters, Brooklyn-native Chast celebrates Manhattan in all its glory, serving as a reminder that it’s a special place shared by gay and straight people alike.
Getting personal In A Body in the O: Performances and Stories (University of Wisconsin Press, 2019) celebrated performance artists and activist Tim Miller, renowned for being one of the “NEA Four”, compiles prose pieces and performance scripts, as well as photographs, in this volume that also includes a foreword by Southern Illinois University professor Craig Gingrich-Philbrook. Frank and revealing, I M: A Memoir (Flatiron Books, 2019) by fashion designer and talk show host turned cabaret performer Isaac Mizrahi traces the gay Brooklyn native from his sheltered religious upbringing through his coming out at the height of the AIDS epidemic and his stellar rise to fame and stardom. Long Live the Tribe of Fatherless Girls (Bloomsbury, 2019), the debut memoir by literary essayist T Kira Madden, is the brutally honest and personal story of her life as a biracial, queer teen living in Boca Raton, Florida with parents caught in an ongoing struggle with alcohol and drug addictions. A powerful collaboration, as well as a “compelling act of resistance”, between trans writer and musician Vivek Shraya and illustrator Ness Lee, Death Threat (Arsenal Pulp Press, 2019) presents the harrowing story of Shraya’s electronic encounter with a hate mail-sending stranger, in which she found her thoughts and dreams possessed by the sender’s threats. In her inclusive and accessible book Unf#ck Your Intimacy: Using Science for Better Relationships, Sex, and Dating (Microcosm, 2019), Faith G. Harper, PhD includes chapters such as “Sexuality, Religion and Spirituality”, “Changing Bodies, Sexual Disorders, and Other Fuckitude”, “Exploring Your Sexual Identity”, “Sexing Yourself” and “Date Like a Grownup”. Charting the fascinating, amusing and uplifting story of activist and trans personality Gigi Gorgeous in her own words and pictures, He Said, She Said (Harmony Books, 2019) details how she went from “gawky Canadian teen” Gregory to become the documentarian, YouTube sensation and out lesbian that she is today. Lynn Breedlove, author of Godspeed and the Lammy Award-winning Lynnee Breedlove’s One Freak Show, as well as queercore musician (remember Tribe 8?), returns to the printed page with 45 Thought Crimes: New Writing (Manic D Press, 2019), is part poetry, part prayer and all personal memoir.
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Creative concepts Previously published by Rescue Press, the newly reissued Paul Takes The Form of a Mortal Girl (Vintage, 2017/2019), the debut novel by educator and editor Andrea Lawlor, is about “shapeshifter” Paul, who wildly oscillates from “Riot Grrrl to leather cub” and from “Women’s Studies major to trade” while traversing Iowa City, Boystown, Provincetown and San Francisco. Inspired by the last 50 years of the devastation done to the Amazon, Indian communities and homesteaders by drug cartels, insurgent groups and the Colombian government, Like This Afternoon Forever (Kaylie Jones Books/Akashic) by Colombian-born gay writer Jaime Manrique, centers on the “visceral love story” of Lucas and Ignacio. Mostly Dead Things (Tin House Books, 2019), the debut novel by queer writer Kristen Arnett, introduces us to Jessa, forced to take over her family’s dying taxidermy business following her father’s suicide, as her other family members barely hold it together as their lives unravel. For her second historical novel, The Flight Portfolio (Knopf, 2019), Julie Orringer gives readers a meticulously researched fiction portrait of Varian Fry, an American gay man credited with saving the lives (and works) of creative geniuses condemned by the Nazis, including Marc Chagall, Hannah Arendt, Marcel Duchamp and André Breton. Prolific gay poet/writer/editor/publisher Raymond Luczak pays tribute to Djuna Barnes’ 1936 book Nightwood with his new novel Flannelwood (Red Hen Press, 2019), in which barista and failed poet Bill meets and spends a passion-filled winter with disabled factory employee James only to have the relationship end abruptly in the spring, leading Bill on a quest for answers. Pan’s Ex: Queer Sex Poetry (Qommunicate Publishing, 2019), edited by Sage Kalmus, is a slim, pocket-sized erotic poetry anthology featuring the work of Kenneth Pobo, Sean Patrick Mulroy, Marie Hartung, David Meischen, Anthony DiPietro and Raven Sky, among others.
Showbiz You didn’t know it, but Drag: Combing Through the Big Wigs of Show Business (Rizzoli, 2019) by Frank DeCaro, with a foreword by Bruce Vilanch, is the book you’ve been waiting for all your gay life. A coffee table book suitable for more than coffee talk (Mike Meyers as Linda Richman even gets a mention), DeCaro’s thoroughly researched and very colorful tome, illustrates that “drag in show business…goes back a lot further than the first season of Drag Race”, as it takes us from ancient Greece into the 21st century. In their book Riverdish: The Unauthorized Case Files of Riverdale (Dey Street, 2019), Riverdish podcast creators Ryan Bloomquist & Samantha Gold invite you to “hold on to your milkshake” as they reveal how the setting of the popular (and very queer) TV series Riverdale, know as the “town with pep”, became notorious as a “great place to get away with it all”. From obscure sitcoms such as the rightfully short-lived The Ugliest Girl in Town to more popular fare including The Dick Van Dyke Show and The Beverly Hillbillies, Quinlan Miller’s Camp TV: Trans Gender Queer Sitcom History (Duke University Press, 2019) analyzes “queer representation and gender nonconformity” on television during the 1950s and 1960s. Boasting an assortment of LGBTQ characters, including Stewie Griffin, Karen Griffin and Bruce, as well as an array of musical numbers, Seth MacFarlane’s long-running animated series Family Guy is given the coffeetable book treatment with Inside Family Guy: An Illustrated History (Dey Street, 2019) by Frazier Moore, featuring a foreword by MacFarlane.
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In Wine There’s Truth, and Gays By Chris Azzopardi Photos: Greenwich Entertainment
Amy Poehler and Rachel Dratch are as thrilled as I am over Netflix’s meta itinerary for journalists like myself who have landed in Napa Valley, California to cover their new heavy-on-the-imbibing dramedy, Wine Country. Appropriately, the itinerary is: first, wine; second, wine; fifth, wine. On an outdoor rooftop deck overlooking the idyllic, rolling views of Artesa Vineyards and Winery, one of their first interviews of the day and where they shot part of the film, Dratch, amused, told Poehler she didn’t realize Netflix was actually flying journalists to wine country for the occasion and hooking them up with a private tasting. “And then they have to go write the thing,” enthused Dratch, rightfully beloved for her hilariously dry “Debbie Downer” skit on SNL. A laugh. “We’re golden!” An impromptu in-the-moment sketch is born, as Poehler whoops a booming laugh herself and looks ahead to a day full of blitzed on-the-job reporters essentially reliving their movie, impersonating a juiced journalist who maybe enjoyed too much of Artesa’s very drinkable Rosado before assessing Wine Country: “I LOVED IT! What’s not to love?! Life is short!” Dratch cracked up at the thought of Netflix’s winesoaked vision. Buzzed writers! Buzzed TV reporters! The laughs kept coming and they weren’t even drinking yet (and, oh hey boss, full disclosure: neither was I). “It’s genius, it’s genius!” Dratch raved in a conspiratorial tone. But it’s no stretch: Wine Country is marinated in wine and women. Based on a girls getaway they took to Napa for Dratch’s 50th birthday with a tight posse of fellow SNL besties, including Maya Rudolph, Tina Fey, Ana Gasteyer, Paula Pell and Emily Spivey (who all star in the film), the boozy but heartfelt friends-gone-wild romp is Poehler’s feature-film directorial debut, after already checking multiple career boxes: producer (Difficult People, Russian Doll), Golden Globes host, author (Yes Please) and actress (Parks and Recreation; Mean Girls, as the “cool mom”). Like the Pinot being generously poured inside the winery, our gay morning conversation flowed freely. Poehler’s “soft butch” aesthetic (during our sit-down: orange slacks, a white button-up and a textured gray suit coat), living like the Golden Girls and how Wine Country passes the “Jeffdel test” (no two cis straight men converse!) were discussed, and Poehler, all smiles 18 | 05.01.19
and hearty laughs, was so pleased she extolled, “We have nowhere to go but down after this interview. This is gonna be the interview of the day.” Dratch beamed back: “Let’s just go to the wine tasting now.” Have you been known to enjoy a glass of wine with a gay friend or two? Amy Poehler: Are you kidding me? Rachel Dratch: I have a standing rosé Tuesday with my gay bestie. Ha! We’ve been doing it for a couple of years now ’cause he’s always in the neighborhood on Tuesdays at my apartment. Among many other gay pals who I imbibe with! Amy, do you partake in these wine nights? Poehler: Sometimes! Rachel and I live in different cities, but when we do see each other we joke, “Shall we head to the Pinot Grigio Islands?” We do that! We sail to the Grigios! Ha! Do you party with the gays when you go on your girls trips? Poehler: Oh yeah! I mean, we had an amazing dinner in Palm Springs for Ana Gasteyer’s 50th. Dratch: At Sparrows. Poehler: We stumbled across an amazing group of middleaged gentlemen who were big fans of our work and knew one of Ana’s characters, specifically. Remember those guys we met? We had an awesome night with them. It was a really fun night. And you know, I would say Rachel borders on gay icon status. I’m sorry, but... Dratch: Ha! Oh, I’ll take it! Speaking of gay icons, let’s talk Fran Drescher. Poehler: Yes! Fran Drescher! If she wasn’t already a gay icon, Wine Country makes her one. Poehler: Emily Spivey and Liz Cackowski, who wrote the script, were so funny because they were like, “We have to do a scene where these millennials are obsessed with Fran Drescher,” and, to be honest, because I’m a GenXer, I didn’t quite get it. I was like, “You know, are they? OK! Oh, sure!” Did you not watch The Nanny? Poehler: I didn’t watch The Nanny because I was a little older than you. Dratch: Me too! Ha! Poehler: And so every young female in my office was like, “Oh my god, it’s so true: I love Fran Drescher!” The film honors Fran through a queer lens. There’s a real LGBTQ presence at that Fran Drescher art show. Poehler: Yes, everybody is dressed very neutral and
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everyone is very fluid, and we wanted to quickly show the stark representation between the options and fluidity of the younger generation compared to us, ’cause at the time we are out of touch with Sara Bareilles wantedin tothe seemovie. herself be ourselves, personally, Also, we comeOf upon a hip she scene that we getyou very brave. course, summoned defensive about. And I’m proud to say that this film not to do the same atop a test, bop itthat wouldn’t take only passes the Bechdel passes what we likeno to for the an answer, but which she’s is been progress call Jeffdel test, thatanowork two in straight men talk to each other. Ha! her own be-bold guidance herself. She followed
her fifth solo album, Amidst the Chaos, Wow,for it does. Poehler: Oh,timely I combed through. There’s(“Armor”) no two cis making feminist assertions straight men who talklanguage to each other. and using coded to write songs that be about love but were actually written, Is could this a standing rule for all future Amy Poehler projects? Poehler: Hahaha! Well, it’s awith fun thing to try to strive for! mournfully, longingly, a specific loved one
mind: Barack Obama. Amidst the Chaos is OK,in let’s talk Spring Breakdown. Bareilles’ studio in six years, the at (Poehler and first Dratch gasp album in unison while looking each other gleefully withThe wide eyes.) Unrest. (She last being 2013’s Blessed
also wrote and lyricsthefor Broadway’s Memories, right?the How music would you compare gayness of that film, which I think isthe – Musical, which opened in 2015.) Waitress Poehler: Quite high! Ha! Yes! How would you compare its gayness to the gayness of Wine Country? Poehler: I will say that the lovely (openly lesbian) Paula Pell ups our gay quotient pretty high in this film because the only real romantic element of the film is between two gay women, and so we were really excited about (that). I mean, even though – spoiler alert! – Rachel and I’s characters sleep with the same guy, we don’t even really discover it till the end and it’s not even part of the story. Haha! But I would say Spring Breakdown maybe had a higher gay quotient. Dratch: Well, ’cause it was written and directed by Ryan Shiraki, who’s quite a gay man. Poehler: A professional gay man! You have both played gay before, so that’s something. Poehler: Yes, that’s right. We were actually talking last night at dinner about our generation. There wasn’t any – there were certainly no LGBTQ organizations at my high school, but there was not one openly gay person at my high school. Dratch: Or barely even in college. How does this current time for the LGBTQ community compare to your high school experience? Dratch: We have little kids and I just like that they’re like, “Oh, that person has two dads.” It’s not a big thing at all. It’s not like (teacher voice), “Let me sit you down and explain.” They’re just used to it, so that’s kind of refreshing and cool that they won’t have any prejudices – or whatever they are, they won’t have any fears. I don’t know if that’s because we live in big cities or what. Poehler: Yeah, our kids know some kids who are figuring out their gender and if they wanna transition, and there’s all this discussion about that too. The young kids are just way ahead of us in terms of how they accept. So I feel like our generation of women who are now in their late 40s and 50s, we’re kind of the straddle technologically because we didn’t have the internet when we were in college, and from an LGBTQ perspective because we just didn’t have people coming out or living authentically, or feeling like they could. That’s something that’s been a huge change in our lifetime. LGBTQ representation also seems to be an important part of what you do as a filmmaker, Amy. Obviously that is reflected in Wine Country as something that was necessary and important to you. Poehler: Yes! Thank you. It was. Dratch: I also like that Paula’s storyline is just so, “Oh 20 | 05.15.19
yeah. She likes this person.” It’s not like, “Here’s the gay part of the movie!” Poehler: Maya Erskine (who plays the character Paula Pell’s Val is interested in romantically), who’s also in a great TV show right now called Pen15, just says, like, “I’m mad at my girlfriend,” and she walks away and Paula turns to Maya (Rudolph) and she’s like, “Did you hear about her girlfriend?” Maya (Rudolph) just goes, “Jackpot!” Then they high-five and there’s not that real estate taken up with someone being like – Dratch: “And I’m gay, first of all.” Poehler: “I need to tell you something.” Looking back at the beginning of your career, when did you know you had an LGBTQ audience? Poehler: Remember when you did “The Girl With No Gaydar” (on SNL)? That was such a good sketch! Such a funny sketch! Dratch: By the way, that came from a real party I was at! I was at my gay friend’s birthday party and there were literally like 80 gay men there and two women. I mean, it was like, What am I doing in terms of trying to find a date? Poehler: Hahahaha! Dratch: I mean, that wasn’t my goal that night, but uh, I was just joking, like, “I’m gonna get lucky tonight! Look at the ratio!” So that’s how that scene was born. I love those things in life when something happens and you’re like, “Let’s go write this as sketch.” That’s my favorite way to come up with sketch, ’cause when you just sit there and you’re like, “Let me think of a sketch,” it just doesn’t work. You have to have the real-life situation. So that’s why that scene was really fun. And was it when that sketch ran that you realized you had a gay following? Dratch: I feel like the SNL ladies have this. Like, SNL ladies have a built-in gay following. Poehler: Yeah – yes! I think so. It felt that way (for me), and because we were a little bit of a gang, like a little pack. I mean, well, let’s first just say that on a daily basis Rachel and I get mistaken for each other. So her success is my success. Dratch: Sometimes people just go like, “Amy Poehler!” and I’m just like, “Yep.” Like, why correct them? I’ll be Amy Poehler. Poehler: Haha! Absolutely the same people are like, “Rachel Dratch!” Someone will come up to me and go, “Debbie Downer!” Ha! I’m like, “That’s right! That was me!” And so that didn’t really answer your question. Dratch and Poehler: Hahahahahaha! Poehler: But I’m gonna speak for Rachel because – Dratch: Because you are me. Poehler: Ha! But because Rachel has such a cadre of good, good friends and amazing gay men in her life, I have to say. Dratch: That’s true. Poehler: You really do have an army of besties who love and support you, and you right back to them. Poehler: And I surround myself with young gay women! Ha! Because they’re very good at how they dress. This might explain your recent Vanity Fair shoot with Maya Rudolph. Poehler: Hahaha! Soft butch? Dratch: Soft butch?! And Maya, high femme. Dratch: Maya is high femme? That is awesome! Poehler: That’s right: Maya’s high femme, yeah. I’m gonna reference a tweet I read recently about those VF photos. Poehler: Oh dear, is it a bad one? I’m not on Twitter. Dratch: No, it’s complimentary! “What in the gay heaven are these photos?” Dratch and Poehler: Hahahahahaha! Dratch: High compliment!
Poehler: Well, I would take any of these women as my wife if they allowed me to, and Maya loves dresses and dressing up and I had a revelation a few years ago. You know, it’s nice to get to a point – it doesn’t even have to be in your career, but in your life – where you do start dressing the way you want or having always wanted. But I had a moment recently with Maya: When Maya puts on a gown for an award show, I see her relax. She loves fashion. And when she puts a dress on her body, she loves it. When I put on a dress on, I just stare at everybody else dressed in jeans and t-shirts and I just wanna be back over there. It took me a long time to really come to terms with that because we have a job where we have to dress up a lot and I just thought it was my awkwardness about dressing up, but the older I get the more I realize I feel much more comfortable in menswear. I like the feel of it. I feel much more myself. Are you conscious of challenging gender norms when dressing in men’s clothes? Poehler: I don’t know if I would say I’m that conscious of it. Dratch: You’re sort of letting yourself embrace what you actually like. Poehler: I had a moment where I was in heels and a stupid-ass dress walking down the carpet of a premiere with all the women I worked with and I literally couldn’t walk, and I remember thinking, I can’t do this again. It just didn’t feel like what – Dratch: What a powerful executive! Poehler: Haha! But I’ll tell you: I’ve met some powerful executives who do heels like nobody’s business. So to answer your question, yes, we were aware we were doing a soft butch/high femme situation. Dratch: You were?! I didn’t realize that. Poehler: Yeah! I asked for it. Dratch: That’s so cool. Poehler: Because it made me feel really comfortable, and I think Maya really liked it. And whatever my beautiful wife wants, she gets. Haha! Has this same group given any consideration to remaking The Golden Girls? Poehler: Oh my god, it’s funny you say that! Dratch: We talked about living like that! We talked
about later on just having a house Golden Girls-style, and I think we each claimed which character we were gonna be. Someone said they were gonna be the Rue McClanahan; our other friend just said, “I’m gonna get laid all the time!” I don’t know which one I would be, but we talked about living like that. In terms of actually (remaking the show), I’m so old-fashioned. Like, don’t touch the classics. Poehler: Yeah! Dratch: Don’t remake them! But then there’s plenty of successful things like that. Poehler: Also, what is shocking is, if you go back and look at the ages of the Golden Girls, they were in their late 50s, early 60s. They were not that old! Let’s really narrow this down: If this were to happen, which Golden Girl would you be? Dratch: I feel like we would both be Sophia, the mom, acting-wise. Poehler: We would both be cast as her. Dratch: Like we play that kind of part. Poehler: Dratch and I always joke that if there was an upstairs/downstairs kind of film like Downton Abbey we would definitely be downstairs. We would be scrubbing potatoes. We would never make it upstairs. Dratch: Because we come from peasant stock. And we have the ankles to prove it. Poehler: Haha! We do! We have the shtetl ankles to prove it. Dratch: We have the CANKLES to prove it. She of the Irish potato family. I, of Russian peasant descent. Poehler: I’m supposed to live in a cave. It is amazing that if you put a babushka over either one of us we immediately look like Russian peasants. There is nothing high society about us. But someone like Ana or even, say, Tina, they have an elegance that makes them, I would say, upstairs. And, you know, we’re fine with that. Ha! Dratch: We’re cool with that. -As editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBTQ wire service, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in GQ, Vanity Fair and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @ chrisazzopardi.
peachATL.com | 21
PALS BINGO @ LIPS PHOTOS: ANDREA DWYER
22 | 05.15.19
OUTLANTA CON
24 | 05.15.19
DRAG BRUNCH @ TIKI INIKI PHOTOS: ANDREA DWYER
26 | 05.15.19
Spencer grew up in North Carolina and made it to Germany, Chicago, Turkey, and San Francisco before making Atlanta’s Midtown a more permanent home. Growing up, he wanted to be a truck driver but is now in a white-collar job helping strangers make money out of more money - he doesn’t quite know how to feel about that. Spencer fills his free time with three things: the gym, improv theater, and figuring out exactly how much water his indoor plants need. Catch Spencer in Piedmont Park walking his Boston Terrier, on the patio at the Heretic, or jogging inhaler in hand on the Beltline.
Spencer Watts
30 | 05.01.19
You deserve Personalized Care & Individual Attention – that’s what we deliver at Family Health Care of Atlanta • Participating in many clinical trials • Certiied HIV Specialist, American Academy of HIV Medicine • 20+ years experience in Family & HIV Care SPECIALIZING IN DERMATOLOGY, STD’S, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, UROLOGY, PSYCHIATRIC DISORDERS
BLURRED MEDIA’S FOUNDER WANTS YOU TO BECOME A BEDROOM OVERACHIEVER By Kevin Assam Landon joined the adult entertainment world in 2006. Around 2012-13 he founded Blurred Media LLC quickly turning it into a rising star of LGBTQ inclusive adult productions – most notably through the site HotGuysF**k.com. Adult entertainers are one thing. The brains behind the production however is another. Let’s delve into Landon’s world and see what bites. How much do good teeth play a role in determining the longevity of one’s career in adult entertainment? They’re not news presenters — just actionable role players. Teeth are huge for us. It’s something we request to see when we receive model pictures. Bad teeth, unfortunately, could mean the difference. In a world of internet trolls, we don’t want one of our models to feel like shit when people rip him apart. Is it obscene to think that adult entertainment is one of the most “American” industries because it pushes the boundaries of freedom of expression and attracts viewers from almost every political and religious affiliation? Never thought about it like that. We have customers from all walks of life. Everyone watches porn. Everyone. I think adult entertainment pushed the boundaries years ago. Now, the youth — millennials — are pushing boundaries much further than adult entertainment ever did across all media platforms. What is driving most of these male performers to offer up their bodies to the cameras? Do you perform psych evaluations before engaging them? The youth love to show off. This is a new era. I think the attention that comes with this is actually a positive for them. A way to increase their “followers.” We don’t perform any sort of psych evaluations. Not sure we’re qualified to do that [laughs]. You haven’t used any daddies. Aren’t they hot guys who speak to the desires of young whippersnappers chasing seasoned men? We’ve experimented with some stuff in our [site’s] “Secret Menu” area, but nothing that’s public. Daddies are not really our brand. What is the brand of Blurred Media? Gay? Bicurious? Capitalist? Blurred Media LLC hires men and women who are between the ages of 18 and 29. They’re generally your 32 | 05.15.19 04.24.19
gym rats or next-door type of person. I think our brands are starting to shift because there is a lot of gender bending [among] the youth who are more open. How does an adult entertainment producer date differently? Are your dates or romantic interests more or less inclined when they learn of your job? Great question. I need what you can’t get in the adult films. The buildup, the text messages, the conversations. I think my romantic interests vary. Tons of questions can follow, which can be very eye opening for a date. Overall, they’re positive. How would you feel if your romantic partner was not tantalized by your professional productions? Probably wouldn’t work out. They need to support me. What has adult entertainment taught you about finding the right guy for a long-term relationship? Someone who will be there long after the sex aches your joints. Sex is meant to be fun but should never be the ultimate factor in a long term relationship. I think it really goes to substance and what’s within. As a side note, when your partner says they screw and perform fellatio like a pornstar, they don’t. In fact, most pornstars don’t either. Get your skills up people! What is one sure fire technique that would immediately get our skills up? Would you let me take notes on set? No one is allowed on set unless they’re filming. Don’t look like you hate it. Enjoy it and be an overachiever. You can’t teach skill, it requires lots of practice. Pay attention to your partner’s reactions and feelings. Fine. I’ll film with my phone. Any suggestions on how us aspiring adult entertainers should spend our Memorial Day Weekend? Spend it with those you love and trust! Then when you have a good team and a few drinks in you, venture out together and see what sort of debauchery you can get into. -Kevin is a middling writer but top-notch interviewer. His ideas on love and relationships are mostly fueled by his wild imagination. He often orders dessert first!
From Pensacola With Love One of my favorite America-specific holidays would have to be Memorial Day. It’s the honored time of year where we remember all those who have lost their virginities during the kick-off weekend of Pride Month at Pensacola, Florida. It is also an unofficial start to Summer where neighborhood pools open for business and school buses all but vanish. So that means, many are headed to the beach! If you find yourself at a beach like Pensacola on Memorial Day weekend, there are many things to enjoy, but preparedness is key to full satisfaction. So, before you take that flight or carpool roundtrip to one of Florida’s gayest places, here’s a few things to keep in mind. The first stop every visitor should take, but most don’t know about, is the In-n-Out Prep Clinic. It’s the goto spot to pick up all the immunizations you’ll need for the weekend. They even offer hangover treatment! While most locals in Pensacola run away for this weekend, there is a doctor who stays and helps all the traveling party-goers. Dr. Amin Na’mean says that it always surprises her how many tourists don’t get the shots and pills they need to enjoy Pensacola without taking home any “presents”. She suggests that everyone take a morning-after pill, as well as booster shots for vodka-infused jellyfish stings (that’s where jellyfish soak up all the spilled vodka on the beach and transfer it to whoever steps on them), and a suppository for gator bites. “Alligators are very common in Florida, so I strongly suggest taking anti-gator suppositories.” Dr. Na’mean says. “You know what I mean?” C
M
Once you’re prepped for the parties, you’ll want to eat up before you drink up. Resident party-goer and great shame to her family, Tiffany Oscar-Meyers says the best pre-gaming meal is at the beach. Many visitors set up tents with grilling stations, so you can eat and drink without leaving the shore! She recommends stopping by her friend, Evan’s Chateau Evan for some pulled chicken and his home-made Chili-Jell-O shots. If grilling BBQ is not your game, many visitors offer Saran-wrapped sandwiches and gummi bears they give out with a questionable smirk. Most Pensacola Pride Party-goers might not find food enticing at the beach, but trust me, you’ll want to eat up before the after-dark parties (unless you have your heart set on bottoming). Y
CM
MY
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CMY
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With the sun down, and almost all of the out-of-towners near blackout, many people throw wild parties. You can find dance parties at designated spots, like resort pools, or more off-the-grid spots, like selfproclaimed Influencer™ Jonah Taschenbury’s hotel room. He hires top-dollar DJs and LED strobe professionals to set up the wildest night of your life! When I asked Jonah why he goes all out for these parties and how he can afford everything, he replied to both questions “I’m really blessed, you know what I mean?” This year’s Memorial Day weekend is sure to be the hottest one yet, and not just because of global warming. If you find yourself free for a few days, grab some friends, buy a ton of alcohol, get your sluttiest swim suits ready, and don’t forget the anti-gator suppositories! I hope you memorialize your weekend with a lot of fun, and maybe even a few mistakes.
Yours in Pensacola Preparedness,
Mitzi Pennington is the self-proclaimed sex symbol and advice-giving-guru alter ego of Mirza Muftic. She came from humble roots of middle America and married into money shortly after dropping out of college. Her late husband’s fortune allows her to travel the world and have a sense of enlightenment one normally gets from actually working for their money. Mirza has had none of those experiences in his life. On occasion, Mirza will perform as Mitzi around Atlanta. His other interests/day job include film editing, retouching, and stop-motion animation.
34 | 05.15.19
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OCTOBER 11-13,2019 atlantapride.org
May 22 – May 29
Armin Van Buuren
Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Farewell Play Tour Live
The Dutch DJ, producer, and record producer is coming to Atlanta to present tracks from past and present. Tickets through Eventbrite. Thursday, May 23, 10 pm – 3 am Believe Music Hall
Tyler Perry’s most famous character, Madea, is on her Farewell Tour across the country and will perform four nights at the Fox Theatre. Go to foxtheatre.org for more info and tickets. May 23-26 The Fox Theatre
STAFF PICK!
Kickoff Party: AIDS Walk Atlanta & 5K Run Join to register for the 29th Annual AIDS Walk Atlanta & 5K Run at their official kickoff party at Las Margaritas. The fajitas will flow freely, and there is a full cash bar if you want a margarita to go with that. Wednesday, May 29, 6-8 pm Las Margaritas
Lost-n-Found Youth Volunteer Orientation
Birdcage Bingo with Ruby Redd
If you have ever considered volunteering for Lost-n-Found, this is the perfect opportunity to learn what options you have to make a difference in the lives of homeless LGBTQ youth. Participation is $20. Wednesday, May 22, 12 pm & 7 pm Lost-n-Found Youth
Join the fantastic Ruby Redd for her weekly bingo night at its new home at Midtown Moon where the gals will blow the roof off with their camp, glam, beauty, and grace. Wednesday, May 22, 9 pm Midtown Moon
38 | 05.15.19
NEW FACES @ FRIENDS PHOTOS: KEITH BAILEY
40 | 05.15.19
wedding & commitment ceremonies • thirty years experience within our community • in-house award-winning metrotainment bakery • sustainable, local, seasonally-inspired custom menus • experienced, friendly staff of catering professionals • extensive network of award-winning local venues www.epiceventsatlanta.com | 404.991.9128
MIDTOWN 1
Monroe Dr. NE
14
Amsterdam Ave.
NE ve . tA
Piedmont Park
on
11
dm
6 12th St. NE
18
Pi e
Juniper St. NE
14th St. NE
7
9
2
10th St. NE
10
. NE
19
oe Dr
e. NE Piedmont Av
Juniper St . NE
Peachtree St. NE
3
Monr
Charle s Alle n Dr . N E
12 W. Peachtree St. NW
15
16
4th St. NE
8
13
BARS Amsterdam Blake's Bulldogs Friends The Model T My Sister’s Room Ten Atlanta
5
Dining 502 Amsterdam Ave NE 227 10th St NE 893 Peachtree St NE 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE 699 Ponce De Leon Ave NE 66 12th St NE 990 Piedmont Ave NE
9 10 11 12
10 th & Piedmont Campagnolo Einstein's F.R.O.G.S
clubs 13 Atlanta Eagle
306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
14 Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave NE
spa/bath 15 Flex Spa
42 | 05.15.19
991 Piedmont Ave NE 980 Piedmont Ave NE 1077 Juniper St NE 931 Monroe Cir NE
fitness
retail 8 Barking Leather
4
Ponce De Leon Ave. NE
Ponce De Leon Ave. NE
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
P o n ce D e Leo n Pl . N E
Spring St. NW
17
76 4th St. NW
16 17 18 19
G’s Midtown Henry’s Joe's on Juniper La Hacienda
219 10th St NE 132 10th St NE 1049 Juniper St NE 900 Monroe Dr NE
billards/Darts drag dancers leather non-smoking area Patio
When the world throws you Let be your savedandgay.com
Cheshire 23
ansley 21
e
ge
Rd
on tC ir .
Piedmont Park BARS 2043 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1086 Alco St NE 1931 Piedmont Cir NE 2425 Piedmont Rd NE 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd
32 33 34 35 36
Midtown Moon Felix's The Hideaway Mixx Oscar's
805 Lambert Dr. NE, Suite A 2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1739 Cheshire Bridge Rd 2201 Faulkner Rd NE
Spa / bath 2103 Faulkner Rd NE 2135 Liddell Drive NE
1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 1544 Piedmont Ave NE 1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
Dining 38 Eclectic Bistro
Fitness 30 Gravitee Fitness
NE
.
clubs 28 Heretic 29 Tokyo Valentino
e. nt mo ed
39 38
Retail 26 Barking Leather 27 Southern Nights
41
Pi
28 20
Dining 24 Las Margaritas 25 Roxx
Av
ge Rd Brid hire
r.
E
Ches
.N
.
25
BJ Roosters Opus 1 Tripps Woof's
31 Manifest 4 U 42 The Den
35
24
id Br
Dr
Rd
BARS 20 21 22 23
40
32
oe
hir
36
nr
dm
es
ll D
31 er
Mo
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29
Ch
idde
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27
33
. NE
Manchester St. NE
Piedmont Rd. NE
22
42 L
ul
IX
34
x Rd
Fa
26
BL
Le no
30
Lambert Dr.
PU
St.
.
A l co
1600 Piedmont Ave NE 1425 Piedmont Ave NE
Retail 39 Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave NE 40 Brushstrokes/Pleasures 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
Fitness 41 Equilibrium Fitness
1529 Piedmont Ave, Suite L
NOT SHOWN
Mary's Sister Louisa’s Church Swinging Richards Lips Atlanta
1287 Glenwood Ave SE 466 Edgewood Ave SE 1400 Northside Dr NW 3011 Buford Hwy NE
peachATL.com | 43
A snapshot of Gay Atlanta’s favorite destinations. View their ads in Peach ATL & visit their websites for weekly event listings.
Bars & Clubs
EAST ATLANTA, GRANT PARK & EDGEWOOD
Retail
MIDTOWN
MARY’S
MIDTOWN
amsterdamatlanta.com
1287 Glenwood Ave SE
AMSTERDAM
502 Amsterdam Ave. NE
ATLANTA EAGLE
marysatlanta.com
SISTER LOUISA’S CHURCH
BARKING LEATHER AFTER DARK barkingleather.com
306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
sisterlouisaschurch.com
CHESHIRE
SWINGING RICHARDS
BARKING LEATHER
1400 Northside Dr NW
805 Lambert Dr NE
BULLDOGS
Dining
2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE
FRIENDS NEIGHBORHOOD BAR
MIDTOWN
736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
10thandpiedmont.com
atlantaeagle.com
306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
BLAKE’S ON THE PARK
blakesontheparkatlanta.com 227 10th St NE
893 Peachtree St NE
friendsonponce-atl.com
466 Edgewood Ave SE
swingingrichards.com
10TH & PIEDMONT
MODEL T
991 Piedmont Ave NE
699 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
einsteinsatlanta.com
modeltatlanta.com
EINSTEIN’S
MY SISTER’S ROOM
1077 Juniper St NE
66 12th St NE
frogsmidtown.com
mysistersroom.com
TEN ATLANTA
tenatlanta.com
990 Piedmont Ave NE
CHESHIRE
SOUTHERN NIGHTS VIDEO
ANSLEY BOY NEXT DOOR MENSWEAR boynextdoormenswear.com 1447 Piedmont Ave NE
GCB & PLEASURES
brushstrokesatlanta.com 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE
FROGS CANTINA
Fitness
931 Monroe Dr
MIDTOWN
G’S
gsmidtown.com 219 10th St NE
HERETIC
HENRY’S
2069 Cheshire Bridge Road
132 10th St NE
BJ ROOSTERS
JOE’S ON JUNIPER
hereticatlanta.com
barkingleather.com
henrysatl.com
URBAN BODY FITNESS urbanbodyfitness.com
500 Amsterdam Ave NE
CHESHIRE GRAVITEE FITNESS graviteeatl.com
bjroosters.com
joesonjuniper.com
2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
1049 Juniper St NE
OPUS 1
LA HACIENDA
Spas/Baths/Adult
900 Monroe Dr NE
MIDTOWN
1931 Piedmont Circle N
CHESHIRE
FLEX SPA
WOOFS
LAS MARGARITAS
76 4th St NW
2425 Piedmont Road NE
1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE
CHESHIRE
ANSLEY
ROXX
MANIFEST 4U
MIDTOWN MOON
1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE
FELIX’S
LIPS ATLANTA
THE HIDEAWAY
3011 Buford Hwy NE
1086 Alco St NE
TRIPPS
woofsatlanta.com
1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 1544 Piedmont Ave NE
MIXX
mixxatlanta.com
1492 Piedmont Ave NE
OSCAR’S
oscarsatlanta.com
1510 Piedmont Ave NE
44 | 05.01.19
lahaciendamidtown.com
lasmargaritasmidtown.com
DEKALB
atldragshow.com
2201 Faulkner Rd NE
flexspas.com
manifest4u.org
2103 Faulkner Rd NE
THE DEN
thedenatlanta.com
2135 Liddell Drive NE
LUXURY LGBT ALMAR RESORT TIMESHARE PLUS BONUS FOR SALE BEACH FRONT BEAUTIFUL BEACH HOTEL & FOOD CONTACT leonrri@hotmail.com
Massage Bodyworks by David $80 per hour 1st time $60 w/Peach ATL ad David cell 205-206-5218 cylondk1@gmail.com Located in Atlanta on Ponce De Leon Ave NE
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Hot Tub and Swim Spas
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peachATL.com | 45
10 Songs for Your Memorial Day Weekend Soundtrack
Lucy Spraggan – Today Was a Good Day Mathew V – Catching Feelings
Carly Rae Jepsen – Julien
Ali Gatie – Moonlight
Lauv – Drugs & the Internet
Madonna – I Rise
The Regrettes – Dress Up
Sabina Ddumba – Blow My Mind
Ar’Mon + Trey – Just In Case Carlie Hanson – Junk
46 | 05.15.19
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Text your Peach Pits to 540-30-PEACH, or e-mail mikkel@PeachATL.com
Him: Well, Chad seems like a nice guy
Me: Yes, he’s a lot of fun!
I’m not even at work wishing it was Friday – it must be Monday!
Him: Life of the party
Me: He’s always been that Him: What does he do? Don’t tell me you miss me. Stand outside with tacos. Actions!
Me: Cocaine. Him: I mean for work!
Me: Oh, he’s a banker.
Dad Joke Alert What does a zombie vegetarian eat? GRRRRAAAAAIIINNNSS!
At my funeral, take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next.
Starting over is not starting from scratch – it’s starting from experience
Asking for a friend Can you stay friends with someone’s pet and not the person?
48 | 05.15.19
Don’t ask me to suggest a restaurant, and then show up and tell me you can’t eat anything on the menu because you’re on the Keto diet.
SCORPIO (OCT. 23 - NOV. 21) You’ll go through periods of high energy today that’ll be counteracted by moments of extreme laziness. This yin/yang thing will go on all day, and people won’t know which one is the dynamic you, or the one that can barely muster the strength to get up to go to the bathroom.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 - DEC. 21) Share your dreams with others today. Not the hopes and wishes you have for your life, but the dreams that pop up in your sleep. Even the biggest of Fellini fans won’t know what to make of them, and hopefully they’ll give you the number of a good therapist.
GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUN. 20)
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 - JAN. 19)
Do something healthy for yourself today. Go for a long hike or bike ride, eat fresh foods or just lie in the sun and breathe some fresh air. Get some friends together to go along, and you can all get healthy together.
You may find yourself detached from your friends today. You may like it that way. They bring happiness and joy to your life, but sometimes they can get on your nerves. Don’t feel guilty if you ignore them today. Just make sure they’re not in the same room. That’s just rude.
CANCER (JUN. 21 - JUL. 22)
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 - FEB. 18)
You may have a hard time dealing with your emotions today. In turn, people may have a hard time dealing with you. Try not to give in to your dark sides when in public today. Put on a fake face and be all smiles. You may be a seething cauldron of emotions, but don’t throw others in there with you.
You may have deep feelings for a guy who barely takes notice of you. Pining for him from afar won’t get you anywhere and you’ll eventually have to approach him. The worst he can do is say ‘no’. Of course, that’ll be devastating to you, and you’ll retreat straight back into therapy.
LEO (JUL. 23 - AUG. 22)
PISCES (FEB. 19 - MAR. 20)
Today may be a nice one to spend with your family. Be the good son and plan a special dinner for them. Whether you treat them to a nice restaurant or cook something at home is up to you. But they will appreciate your heartfelt attempts to love and nurture them.
You may find yourself out of your element today in a place where people aren’t very nice. They will claw and bite and try to tear you down at every opportunity. Don’t you just hate dinner with the family?
VIRGO (AUG. 23 - SEP. 22)
ARIES (MAR. 21 - APR. 19)
You hate when people throw their opinions in your face, especially when they differ from yours. Your stubborn refusal to listen to other points of view will eventually be your downfall. And then the others will laugh and laugh.
You won’t be the people person you usually are today. That’s okay, because everyone needs a little alone time for self-introspection. Go on a stroll, watch the clouds in the sky, try not to speak to anyone at all. Spend time with your thoughts and recharge.
LIBRA (SEP. 23 - OCT. 22)
TAURUS (APR. 20 - MAY 20)
Your acquisitive nature may get you into trouble today. Your quest for gossip may teach you a hard lesson about prying into other people’s affairs. Don’t go sticking your nose into other people’s business unless you want it smashed in by a fist or other blunt object.
Be sensitive to the needs of your partner or boyfriend today, but don’t put your own on a back burner. Relationships are a two-way street, and it’s easy to give without getting much in return. But the dance can be sweet if the two of you tango together.
50 | 05.15.19
By Mikkel Hyldebrandt Trouble in the love department? With sex? Or just people in general? Send us your queries, questions, and problems, and you’ll get answers served straight up and with a little ice.
I
am going through a nasty breakup where we are trying to divide many years of being together into two equal piles. I am the one who initiated the breakup because I was the one who found another love interest, so I am very sensitive to my now ex-partner’s needs. I don’t care about all the physical stuff – he can basically have it all! – but he has expressed that he wants to be the primary ‘recipient’ when it comes to our friendships that we have forged during our time together. He even went as far as to say that if he told everyone about what I’d done, they would all leave me behind and never look back. So here’s the thing: Is it fair for him to call ‘first dibs’ on our friends? I realize I hurt him deeply, so I am inclined to grant him this wish, but I am also left with a sense of being the victim of a massive revenge scheme. Am I petty or reasonable here? Help. Sincerely Whattabout Our Friends Dear Whattabout Our Friends Breakups are never easy, and the wounds may take years to heal only to leave visible scarring behind. So yeah, breakups are messy and almost never based on reason and sensible division of assets. Including friends. But here’s the thing. Your friends are not physical things that can be assessed and assigned a monetary value. Although your ex may want to ‘claim’ your mutual friends – and you may even be willing to forfeit those friendships on the burning breakup stake – it is neither of your decision to make. All of your friends deserve to make up their own damn mind about who they pledge their allegiance to. It could be they choose one or the other, or even both of you, which is really the most logical choice when you think about it. You probably feel a lot of guilt for being the one who actually broke it off, but don’t just cut your losses because you were the one who did that. We all know that relationships change and sometimes the love is simply lost, and that is not just one person’s fault. Plus, if your ex is planning to talk badly about you behind your back, well, obviously he wasn’t the greatest guy after all, was he now? So cut yourself a little slack here, be understanding and generous as you have been already – and then let your friends decide for themselves.
I
am 50+ years old, and I like dating guys much younger than me. Recently, I met this 22-year-old on one of the apps, and we have been hooking up quite a bit. He says this is his first experience with gay sex and identifies as straight, but I can’t help feeling that I’m being played a little bit, because he kisses me so intensely, he performs excellent oral on me, and he bottoms like a pro. He says that not having to perform like he does with a girl and being submissive instead turns him on like nothing else. He is not asking for money or anything, but I feel like he is not telling the truth about his sexual prowess. Should I call him out? Sincerely Daddy Doubts Dear Daddy Doubts He’s a great kisser, he gives a good blowjob, and he bottoms like a pro? Usually, first times are nothing like that, so you are probably right to be a little suspicious. But then again, if he is playing a little game that he thinks is a turn-on, and you are getting some great sex out of this, maybe you don’t have to fix if it ain’t broke? Unless you plan to make things more serious with him, the fact that he may be playing a little pretend doesn’t really matter. If he identifies as straight, he may have a few issues with coming to terms with his gay side, so a little back story could definitely help him in a situation like this to keep things casual – and exciting!
NEED ANSWERS? REACH OUT TO US, AND YOU WILL GET THEM! SEND YOUR BURNING QUESTIONS TO OUR EDITOR AT MIKKEL@PEACHATL.COM.
52 | 05.15.19
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