Save This Bus Stop

www.the-peak.ca | Cutting out hearts since 1965

Maia Odegaard, Melissa Roach, Natalie Serafini

FIRST PEEK

November 9, 2015

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Q: Is thorough TA feedback better than letter grades?

“It’s better to have the feedback because it helps you to know what you want to do next. For example, how to write an essay better. If they just give you the grade, you don’t know anything about it.”

Isaac Yu Second year communications

Oh God, how do I start this? I love you, Peak, and I will always love you.

It’s not you, it’s the SFSS elections. I can’t live tweet my way through another set of six hour-long debates. It’s the beautiful nightmares about writing formulaic articles on SFU’s community engagement.

At the heart of it, it’s about how I’ve changed.

I gave you the best years of my undergraduate degree, and you gave me prematurely grey eyebrow hairs and an addiction to lukewarm Folgers coffee. Really, you’re the habit I have to kick.

I’ve been carrying a voice recorder in my bag and a chip on my shoulder for too long.

We’ve made some beautiful memories together — late nights in the office drinking too much vanilla Coke, Stinga-longs to acoustic renditions of “Message in a Bottle,” and travelling to exotic places like downtown Edmonton, or making the trek down to the SFU Security office in Discovery 1.

Like Cathy and Heathcliff, the two of us are inextricable. From the bowels of Burnaby Mountain I cry out, “I am The Peak!”

I worry that I will lose all of my friends to you when I leave.

After all, you are the biggest

thing we have in common. I do concede that you can have them on Fridays. Just try not to keep the poor dears out too late, slaving away to fill your pages.

“I’ll still write,” I say. “I’ll stay on as collective rep on the board of directors,” I said. I think we both know that might not be entirely realistic.

“Make it a clean break,” said noted advice-giver, and my mother, Joanne. I know I should probably listen to her, but I don’t know if I can really quit you.

No, there’s no one else. Not yet. But I’ll have to pay the bills somehow. I’m just looking for something different — something that won’t swallow me whole. I can’t forever be at the beck and call of campus news.

Is there a life for me after student journalism? Nothing is for certain, but I have to find out.

“Feedback is better because there’s this dynamic conversation where you actually know what you’re doing in school, and not being told a certain letter assigned to how well you’re doing.”

Ashlin Roche Second year communications

“Letter grades are important because you need to know where you stand but I found I was less focused on ‘I need to get this grade’ and more focussed on ‘This is what I need to work on.’ So it was less stressful and you could develop more skills.”

Miranda Tymoschuk Second year dual-major

“I prefer feedback, because you can improve better by knowing what they actually think rather than just getting a letter.”

Cassandra Wainwright Third year education

“I prefer thorough feedback. Having the grade is nice, to have something in a quantitative sense, but having a qualitative description of what I’m doing right or wrong does tend to do a bit more than the grade.”

Will Riley Fourth year English

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NEWS

“Save this bus stop.” That was the message engulfing SFU’s residence bus stop late Thursday night before being taken down.

But reduced service to that particular stop is not the only proposed change to transit that would affect SFU students.

TransLink conducted a consultation survey regarding the proposed 85 changes to existing routes, some of which would affect all three SFU campuses. The changes are meant to increase efficiency and decrease travel time for riders across all of Metro Vancouver.

Among the changes are plans to convert the 135 to a B-line, eliminate several stops in Burnaby, reduce the number of stops on Burnaby campus to allow for two-way flow for transit, and other proposed changes to a significant number of routes that may be utilized by SFU students studying at the Burnaby, Vancouver, or Surrey campuses.

Caitlin Maxwell, a first-year communications student living in residence who relies on TransLink to get on and off Burnaby

November 9, 2015

Mountain, will be affected by the diminished service to the residence bus stop, which will only be serviced by the 144 and N35.

Despite the Simon Fraser Student Society’s (SFSS) attempts to raise awareness amongst students through leaflets and posters on campus, Maxwell told The Peak that she had no idea of the proposed changes.

“I was not aware of the specific changes that TransLink proposed, only that it was making some changes that students should know about,” said Maxwell. “Really, how many students are going to do full research online after infrequently seeing a poster on campus?”

One of the largest proposed changes to an SFU bus is the possible expansion of the 135 into a B-line. This means the route would lose stops in favour of decreasing the travel time between SFU and Burrard Station, a change TransLink says would save travellers 10 minutes.

“I don’t see how 10 minutes would benefit anyone in a full work day,” said Maxwell.

The survey, which has more than 8,000 responses at time of publication, is just another step in making sure that TransLink is able to implement changes that they feel will best benefit everyone riding, according to spokesperson Jennifer Morland. She said that the procedure they were following wasn’t any different to how it is usually done.

“We have shared publicly the dates for the survey, and we hope that people have taken the opportunity to take the survey so far,”

news editor email

Morland told The Peak days before it officially closed.

Kathleen Yang, SFSS VP External Relations, expressed her own worry that there was not enough time to reach out to all the students before the survey deadline to make sure they had their say.

“Do I think they gave us enough time? No, I don’t think so,” said Yang in regards to the opportunity the SFSS has been given to raise awareness.

“They’ve said that they’ve been in consultation for a number of months now with the city, with other stakeholders, with regional planners, but what about the people who are literally going to be affected by these changes?”

She acknowledged that the proposed changes are very complex and that students may not realise how it will affect them.

“I think [students] need to know that there are a huge number of bus route changes,” she said. “I’d really encourage students to take a look to see what buses are going to be changed [. . .] and whether or not that is going to be good for them.”

Morland emphasized that the changes are still in their developmental stage, and should not be inciting the kind of worry that some students might feel.

She hoped that students would fill out the survey to make their concerns heard.

“The important thing to stress here is that these are proposed changes, so there have been no final decisions made,” she said.

Melissa Roach news@the-peak.ca

associate news editor

Jamal Dumas

All routes redesigned to allow for two-way traffic instead of functioning as a one-way loop, fewer stops on the hill, reduced routes servicing residence bus stop

Turned into a B-line, number of stops reduced to decrease travel time by ten minutes from Burrard Station to SFU

Redesigned to act as one-way loops

Reroute the 509 to Lougheed Station and reroute the 501 onto Highway 1 via 156th Street

NEWS

November 9, 2015

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Computing Science student and OpenSFU contributor Edward Ning gave a presentation titled “Time to Graduate: Is 6 Years Okay?” to the board. He explained that the average time of degree completion at SFU was over five years, and around half of students at the university are part-time, meaning they take less than nine credits.

Ning suggested this was due to poor course scheduling, a result of the faculties’ suggested schedules for students not lining up with reality. He also criticised the lack of a central authority to avoid issues like course conflict. He added that the “SIS [Student Information System] sucks.” Ning recommended that the more information be gathered on how students feel about the time it takes to graduate and about their “course scheduling habits.”

Said Ning, “If the education product offered by SFU is subpar, someone has to hold them accountable.”

SFU Communications professor and renowned composer Barry Truax is one of the many experts featured in the upcoming documentary, Sonic Magic: The Wonder and Science of Sound, produced by CBC’s The Nature of Things, which will air on November 12.

The documentary was shot around the world and explores the effects sound can have on people’s well-being, the use of sound in medical treatment for cancer and Alzheimer’s, as well as how sound affects how public spaces are experienced. Currently working in Berlin, Truax sat down

for a Skype interview with The Peak to talk about his involvement with the the documentary.

The Peak: Could you tell our readers about your research that was featured in the documentary?

Barry Truax: Well, this is definitely what we would call soundscape research or soundscape analysis, which we have been doing in the School of Communication at SFU for the entire time I’ve been there, which is over 40 years.

Basically, it’s about the science of sound. And of course they are popularizing it with what they call “Sonic Magic” [. . .] but it really has a lot serious science in it. [. . .] Sound as an environmental aspect is included here and we’ve drawn on the World Soundscape Project’s heritage.

In particular, one of the main sequences that they based in Vancouver focused on the Holy Rosary Cathedral bells downtown because it’s just a focal point. [. . .] It was documented by our project back in 1973 with what was called the Vancouver

soundscape as a significant ‘sound mark’ of Vancouver.

P: For our readers who don’t know, can you explain what exactly a soundscape is and why it’s important?

BT: Well, it’s the acoustic environment that we live in all the time, and we’ve always put the emphasis in the School of Communication — on the way it’s perceived and understood by people as opposed to for instance how an acoustic engineer would simply just measure it as an objective fact.

It’s important because it affects the quality of life that everyone has 24/7. People use sound, or ignore sound, or are exploited by sound, or rely on sound as part of their daily life and it’s important as a quality of life issue.

P: Referring to quality of life: a lot of the research in this documentary is about how sound can be used for medical purposes. Could you talk about the other ways sound improves quality of life?

BT: We [at the School of Communications] started by simply emphasizing listening and so instead of telling people what’s good and bad, we try to make them more aware of it [themselves] by just basically starting to listen and pay attention, and evaluate and make choices in their lives.

Instead of just saying, ‘Oh this noise is bad for you,’ which it is, and, ‘it’s a stressor on you’. . . And particularly for students, I can argue that it is actually affecting your grades.

If you live in a cheap apartment next to a highway and you can’t sleep at night and you’re subjected to noise through most of your waking hours, this is going to have an effect on your academic life. [. . .] There [are] just so many ways in which sound affects us 24/7, both positively and negatively, and we want to emphasize the positive and have people become aware and make choices for themselves.

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SFU Woodward’s is putting on a lecture and performance event with Lief Hall titled “Mythology, Gender and Cyber-virtual Identity in Pop Music Performance.” On Nov. 9 starting at 8 p.m., Hall will take attendees through an exploration of how gender is shaped in popular culture by influences like mythology and science fiction.

Visiting professor of humanities Ferenc Erős will deliver a paper on the psychoanalytical effects of the Iron Curtain’s long-standing division of Europe. “Psychoanalysis Behind Iron Curtains” will take place on Friday, Nov. 13 from 7 to 9 p.m.

In describing the event, Erős elaborated, “I am focusing on the mostly untold story of the Hungarian psychoanalysis behind the Iron Curtain, its (self)liquidation [sic] in 1948, its underground survival until the 1970s, and its revival in the 1980s.”

November 9, 2015

SFU’s Vancity Office of Community Engagement and the Vancouver City Planning Commission hosted a panel discussion on the issue of “Social Inequality in the City.”

The conversation covered issues ranging from health, education, hunger, mental illness, justice, accessibility, and social mobility.

Mary Clare Zak, Managing Director of the City of Vancouver’s Social Policy and Project Division, presented a number of statistics on housing, population growth, diversity, education, income, and homelessness, and spoke to the city’s approach to foster continual improvement in health and wellbeing in Vancouver.

Zak commented on a city’s ability to make an impact at the municipal level: “Local governments are actually uniquely placed to provide leadership around health and wellbeing, because many of the social determinants of health are played out in your day-to-day life.”

Margot Young, a constitutional and social justice law professor from

UBC, broke down the meanings of the terms ‘inequality’ and ‘city.’

In terms of inequality in the context of Vancouver, Young said, “We need to look at inequality with a very specific, absolute focus; a focus on the problem that inequality signals for us in Vancouver in particular, and that’s the problem, the distress of poverty [. . .] and the exclusion and marginalization that poverty puts and cements in place.”

The Aboriginal Front Door Society’s Community Coordinator, Bill Beauregarde, presented on the vital issue of the land Vancouver is located on, its significance to indigenous people, and its relationship to the housing crisis and poor living conditions on the reserves.

“In our culture, we share the land, we don’t own the land,” said Beauregarde. “That’s basically [it] — the sharing aspect of the land is not equal. Right now, Aboriginals do not have the share that they should have.”

Paul Taylor, Executive Director of Gordon Neighborhood House in the downtown West End, spoke about his personal experience growing up with a single mother on welfare, and commented on the unequal way food is accessed and experienced by those with lower incomes.

“When I see people in long lineups, accessing food — and in Vancouver it’s often cold and rainy — it’s dehumanizing and

I see people missing out on the celebration of food.”

Viveca Ellis of Single Mothers’ Alliance BC spoke to the core issues faced by single mothers living in poverty, including the issue of access to civic engagement of all sorts.

“We advocate for a shift in focusing on the affordability of transit,” said Ellis. “We envision transit as a tool to mobilize people out of poverty — to access that job, that school, that affordable food three miles away, that social life in the greater community.”

Matt Hern, professor in SFU’s Urban Studies program, echoed Beauregarde’s sentiment of the inextricability of this issue of inequality and land and property in the context of Vancouver, identifying the root of the problem being that we are situated on indigenous land.

“Any concern with settler disparities or inequities, with the home crisis, with who gets to stay and who gets to leave, under what basis — all of that has to be historicized within the context of very recent and ongoing colonial rationalities.”

Director of Community Engagement Am Johal commented regarding the significance of a holding discourse on social inequality at SFU: “Since SFU’s Vancity Office of Community Engagement started almost five years ago, we’ve committed to engaging in social questions through both dialogue and disruption on important public questions. [. . .] Being based in the Downtown Eastside neighborhood, we have a public responsibility to engage in these questions.”

Petter puts it, “research-intensive universities unburdened by medical schools.”

The president spoke to what he sees as the key factors that went into this high ranking: “Certainly the success we’ve had with faculty and student awards and our research performance clearly figured very strongly in the reasons why we did as well as we did.”

Although MacLean’s put SFU in the top spot, they also asked students themselves to rank Canadian universities for the first time in a decade. According to the surveys, Guelph is the top favourite comprehensive university among students, while SFU ranks much lower at 12th place.

The survey included various subcategories for students to rate their school, such as administrative staff, instructors, and the amount of red tape in its bureaucracy. In these subcategories, students rated SFU the highest among comprehensive universities for its mental health services, making it students’ ninth favourite overall in the country.

Despite the positives of the top ranking, Petter acknowledged that there are other things to consider when evaluating SFU as a whole.

“We understand that the strengths of the university are not fully measured by these rankings,” he said, “but it’s nonetheless nice to get that kind of recognition.”

Send us your scoops!

news@the-peak.ca

SFU, you’ve done it again! MacLean’s has released its university rankings for 2016 and SFU has — for the seventh time in eight years — clinched the top comprehensive university spot.

The university lost the title in 2014, when the University of Victoria temporarily dethroned SFU, bumping it down to second place.

SFU President Andrew Petter was pleased to announce the rankings in this month’s Senate meeting. He reminded the room that rankings are not

everything, but nonetheless, this was a cause for celebration.

“We usually take rankings with a grain of salt, but in this case it comes with a lot of sugar,” he joked.

MacLean’s defines comprehensive universities as those with significant research activity, strong undergraduate and graduate programs, as well as professional schools — or, as

NEWS

SFU experienced a slice of Hindu culture last week at its eighth annual Diwali event at Surrey’s Aria Banquet Hall on Tuesday, November 3.

The annual celebration of “the festival of lights” is a part of SFU’s aim to engage its South Asian students and the greater community.

Diwali, widely celebrated in India and around the world, signifies light over dark, knowledge over ignorance, prosperity over poverty, and good over evil.

It marks the beginning of a new year for Hindu peoples, and is considered to be a time to embark on new beginnings and ventures. Elaborate decorations, lights, fireworks, and food preparations are all key to this festival.

SFU took the initiative eight years ago to begin an annual event that encompassed all these factors and to further deepen cultural ties with

The SFU “Mo-tivators” and SFU’s chapter of Alpha Pi Phi, in collaboration with the Simon Fraser Student Society (SFSS), hosted the Movember Madness Kickoff last week on November 5 with a pie-a-thon and a hot shave to raise money and awareness for the Movember Canada Foundation.

The Movember movement challenges men to grow their moustache out for the month of November to raise money for men’s health issues like prostate and testicular cancer, mental health, and physical inactivity.

SFU students lined up in Convo Mall and donated money to throw pies at members of the SFU community. Sorority Alpha

November 9, 2015

its South Asian community members.

Over 300 government, community, and business leaders, along with SFU students, alumni, staff, and faculty members attended the event. The celebration kicked off at 6 p.m., with a reception, followed by the evening program and dinner. The opening act was a lively Bhangra performance by members of the Vancouver International Bhangra Celebration Society.

The event concluded with a fusion performance of Scottish and Punjabi dance, followed by a door prize draw with SFU goodies and gift cards.

The funds raised through ticket sales for the event are to be used for the SFU India Student Mobility program, which aids students who want to study, volunteer, and work in different cities and villages in India.

The community support for this event had an impact on SFU student Dara Hill, who was one of the student speakers at the event. Hill is a fourth-year Communications student, traveller, and photographer who interned for six months last year at the Deshpande Foundation, a global non-profit organization that promotes social innovation and sustainable entrepreneurship.

Pi Phi brought in volunteers from the SFSS, Finance Club, Enactus, and many others to step up and take a pie to the face.

The Mo-tivators mobilized a group who donated money for a hot shave. Participants also had their photos taken in a Movember moustache photo contest.

This was the first event of its kind at SFU. Approximately 125 students attended and raised $850 for the Movember Canada Foundation, not quite reaching the event’s goal of $1,000. The funds will be used to build awareness, mobilize support, as well as invest in medical research.

This was the first event on campus of its kind put on by Alpha Pi Phi and the first as an organization for the Mo-tivators.

Fundraising is the best way to “create the community that SFU desperately needs,” said Alpha Pi Phi President Panteya Niazi.

Movember fundraising is “something the entire campus could get involved in,” according to Morgan Reimer, Alpha Pi’s

“It really is an honour to be the student speaker at this year’s SFU Diwali Gala,” Hill told The Peak.

“There is a diverse group of individuals in this room, but one common thread they hold is the way they value experiential learning, creative problem solving and discovery in just as high of a regard as I do.”

She continued, “It is this community that made this experience in India a reality for me, and I’m so excited to share with them a taste of what they supported.”

SFU chancellor Anne Giardini mentioned in her speech

how diversity and community engagement lie at the heart of SFU’s mission and ensure continued success. SFU President Andrew Petter spoke to the many milestones that SFU has accomplished as a university.

“We’re proud of the fact that we do things differently than traditional universities,” said Petter.

“In particular, I think the thing we do different and do best is our commitment to engaging the student community.

It is truly the value that defines us and has led to some of our biggest achievements.”

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SFU President Andrew Petter announced to the Senate that he made an appearance in front of the Select Standing Committee on Finance and Government Services in regards to the cuts made by the Provincial Government to post-secondary education and the 2016 budget.

“I spoke in support of the Research Universities Council BC presentation, which called for a major reinvestment of the $50 million that has been cut by the province over the last three years,” he shared.

Petter also made a case for needs specific to SFU, offering deferred maintenance on Burnaby Campus and plans for Surrey expansion as examples where the university could use some financial support from the government.

He continued, “I want to congratulate both the student groups. Both the Graduate Student Society and the SFSS also made presentations which were very well put together and very powerful in speaking from a student perspective to many of the same needs.”

SFU’s School for the Contemporary Arts is being renamed the Dena Wosk School for the Contemporary Arts in tribute to the first dean of the school.

Concerns arose that a proper consultation process had not been followed in the decision to rename the school.

Petter acknowledged that the usual process was not followed and that consultation had been somewhat neglected.

external programming officer. She encouraged all SFU students to get involved with Movember movements because “men’s issues don’t get enough attention.” The Alpha Pi Phis and the Mo-tivators plan to make Movember events an annual tradition at SFU. The SFU Mo-tivators club was founded this year by a team of five business students. Founding member Jeevan Takhar said it is best if people learn “early on” about the real threat of testicular cancer, which is the most common form of cancer for men between 15 and 34.

Takhar urges other students to take the initiative and get involved, suggesting that SFU students should “make their own Mo-space.”

Donated funds will count toward SFU’s fundraising for the Big Mo on Campus contest between Canadian educational institutions.

Next year, the Alpha Pi Phis’ and the Mo-tivators’ Movember campaign will be “even bigger, with even more groups involved,” promises Niazi. Both the Alpha Pi Phis and the Mo-tivators expressed a wish to work with the SFSS, as well as other SFU student groups, for future events.

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OPINIONS

November 9, 2015

opinions editor email

Adam Van der Zwan opinions@the-peak.ca

How many of you have heard of Movember? No, not ‘no-shavenovember,’ Movember. The purpose of it is to grow a moustache and raise money for prostate cancer research. Individuals who simply grow a moustache because ‘it’s no-shave-November’ completely miss the point.

According to the Movember website, the movement began in Australia in 2003, when a group of friends challenged each other to bring the moustache back into fashion. By 2006, they had created a foundation and had turned the challenge into something that backed a cause — men’s health.

Movember’s Australian origin was probably the best thing that could have happened to the movement due to the sheer number of backpackers that travel the country every year. Young travellers partake while abroad and bring the idea home. In 2007, the participating countries included Australia,

Canada, New Zealand, Spain, UK, and USA. Last year, there were over 20 countries involved on every continent around the world and, as the website says, “the Movember Foundation was ranked 72nd out of the top 500 NGOs (non-governmental organizations) in the world.”

As of 2014, Movember has raised over $677 million worldwide and funded over 800 men’s health projects. There are corporations donating time, money, and logos to sponsor the movement. Most importantly, there are people, like myself, willing to look like 1970s porn actors for a

month to raise some money for a good cause.

Unfortunately, there is a growing group of men who think that November is a good excuse to simply grow facial hair rather than to support the cause that Movember showcases. I’ll admit that Movember is a contributing factor to the increased acceptance of facial hair in the social zeitgeist, and I recently started sporting a beard that I’m actually enjoying.

But, the idea behind Movember is not to grow a trendy beard just to feel included. We should be growing a ‘mo to raise money

and awareness for prostate and testicular cancer research, and to create a conversation about men’s health. To me, the guys who stop shaving for no reason are like those people who give away free cookies during girl guide cookie month. Sure, you get free cookies, but ultimately the idea takes away from the people who sell cookies for a cause.

Maybe you want to join in because your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate is participating, I get it. Well then, be like Yoda: “Do, or do not.” Join the cause and visit to

the Movember website to sign up.

Ask your friends, your parents, your workplace, and your profs if you’re feeling gutsy enough, for a small donation, and perhaps donate $20 yourself! Don’t worry, you’ll still afford a ticket to Star Wars by December.

When it comes down to it, the people that just grow facial hair in November because it’s ‘cool’ take away from those of us who really want to make an effort to actually partake in such a strong movement.

They cheapenw the efforts we put in, and raise the ambivalence level of the general public.

The casual approach some young women have towards sex allows them to explore what works best for them and how to effectively communicate that.

There are many different factors that cause bad sex. But apart from the lack of consent, there is no one particular element that makes sex bad all the time. This is why I completely disagree with Margaret Wente’s recent criticism of casual sex in The Globe and Mail. The idea that sexual desire or satisfaction corresponds strictly with commitment, when it comes to women, is simply false. Any attempt to control sexuality, much like the misguided attempts to control sexual orientation, is a losing battle.

People are as diverse as they are unpredictable. I do not claim

greater understanding over why sexual relationships are good or bad. That should be the point. Instead of forcing everybody to be the same and act in the same way, people should be encouraged to make sexual decisions based on what is best for their mental, physical, and emotional well-being. This does not necessarily mean having casual sex, nor does it mean pursuing a committed relationship.

Communication is very important as it involves conveying consent. In terms of having good sex, being able to communicate effectively to your partner allows you to confidently state what you like or don’t like. Associating guilt with sex is what makes communication difficult, as young women often have trouble asking for what they want. This is why feminism in the modern era is important.

process of finding who they are sexually, there will be bad sexual experiences.

I oppose the idea in Wente’s article that women having good sex and women being casual about sex are mutually exclusive.

There are many women in relationships that are dissatisfied with their sex lives. There are also many women that enjoy one night stands. There are many types of women with many different personalities.

Human beings are complicated creatures with complex layers. What works for one woman may not work for another, and this is why all experiences should be embraced. It

should also be stated that bad sex in not necessarily a bad thing, but a way for us to learn about ourselves and our sexual partners. It is possible that a lack of emotional connection is why young women have bad sex; inadequate sexual chemistry with a partner or limited sexual experience are also potential reasons young women have bad sex.

Sex is something to be enjoyed by both genders, and associating bad sex and feminism is simply misguided. I would instead argue that in embracing casual intercourse, feminists encourage young women to embrace their own different sexual preferences. Women, men, and all those in between benefit from this, because all parties involved are given the freedom and space to have good sex.

‘Young feminists being clueless about sex’ could be a result of being young, rather than being feminist. It could be that young women have not yet discovered what circumstances work best for them in sexual situations. In the

OPINIONS

No food is more more perfect than bacon. Its fatty, salty, meaty goodness can cure many ailments, such as hangovers and waking up on the wrong side of the bed.

But with the World Health Organization’s (WHO) recent reclassification of bacon and other processed meats as carcinogens in the same class as cigarettes and asbestos, this most holy of pork products could be taken away from us — but, more likely, it will probably just be relabeled to convey the risk.

As most of us are aware, bacon isn’t exactly a health food, which is one of the many reasons that it is so enjoyable. And even in the wake of the WHO’s study, I am still going to gobble down bacon and other processed meats; I enjoy eating them, and would classify myself as a casual processed meat-eater. I don’t eat them everyday, but when I do, I enjoy the hell out of them.

They can add the right amount of smokiness to a burger, or turn a bland maple doughnut into something special.

My health concerns surrounding processed meats aren’t that they will give me cancer, because at this point in my life I am fully resigned to the fact that everything will give me cancer. Instead, it’s the heightened cholesterol, hardened arteries, and the other cardiovascular

November 9, 2015

results of overeating fatty processed foods that are scarier to me than ordering my eggs with a possible side of cancer.

Don’t get me wrong, I love learning more about the world around us through scientific research, but the way the media presents the story falls under complete sensationalism. ‘Bacon causes cancer: What you can do to keep your family safe!’

While the evidence does show a link between eating large amounts of processed and red meats, the type of cancer that could be developed from consuming large amounts of these foods is colorectal cancer, which already has a low developmental risk.

Yes, cancer is a disease that should be taken seriously, but it is influenced by many factors — some of which we understand far better than others. There are so many carcinogens present around us that we should all have cancer by now, yet we don’t. The real issue here isn’t if we are playing Russian roulette every time we order a bacon cheeseburger, it’s that we still don’t understand the underlying causes of cancer well enough to make any sort of sweeping generalizations about these causes other than asbestos, cigarette smoke, and overexposure to UV radiation.

So I will continue to eat my bacon cheeseburgers, bacon and eggs, and maple bacon doughnuts. Though I will still only treat myself to these things once in a while, since the risk of heart disease is scarier to me than the risk of cancer. I will continue to support cancer research, and I will continue to not take at face value what large media outlets tell me about science, because most of the time it’s bloated crap.

How many of you remember fire drills in elementary and secondary school? I know I went through a couple per year. As kids, we used to think they were great — we had no class and became caught up in the excitement of that crazy loud bell. As adults, people don’t appreciate fire drills and look for any opportunity to avoid them. My workplace, however, doesn’t avoid the fire drill and actively embraces them. Working at a major tourist attraction, you would hope that the staff know how to safely evacuate people in the case of a fire.

Mid-October, my work introduced something new: an earthquake drill. We live in a city where the conversation around quakes has gone from ‘if’ to ‘when,’ and yet I will fully admit I didn’t really know what to do if one were to hit. Until that drill, I thought standing in a door frame was ‘what you were meant to do.’

Don’t do that, by the way, it’s apparently really stupid; one of the many things you think you know but actually don’t. Oh, common sense, you’re so fun.

My earthquake drill was facilitated by an event called Shake Out BC. It’s like Earth Day in the sense that you are encouraged to participate, yet it is essentially voluntary. I was at work

downtown when the “shake out” occurred, and I could actually hear alarms ring out for a short time around the city.

Did you all know that SFU was part of the drill as well?

Neither did I. That’s because no one I know on campus that day heard any alarms. I checked the SFU website, and there were only three places between all of the campuses where there was a drill: Burnaby campus’ Saywell Hall Atrium, the WAC Bennett Library, and the Vancouver Harbour Centre Concourse.

It got me thinking: what is going to happen when an earthquake does hit? How many of us know that it’s the safest to get under a table or bench and hold

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on? I understand that organising a drill across a huge university can be a royal pain, yet as Shake Out BC showed, a drill can be as simple as a one-minute demonstration at 10:15 a.m.

Everyone who is in class is either packing their bags and ignoring the prof’s final sentences, or getting ready for a break. Is it really that difficult to inform all the profs and TAs and to put a few posters up?

I’m not saying we should have all evacuated the school like we did in grade three. Simply that if I were in one of the C-9000 classrooms, I’d want to know what the heck we are meant to do in the case of a quake — especially since I’m too tall to properly fit under the seats. A simple drill that could very well save lives shouldn’t be something a school encourages you to volunteer to practice, but something that you are voluntold.

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Atheism is a word often made synonymous with evil and godlessness.

However, only the godless half of that statement is true. It’s not godless in the sense that atheists are wicked and morally defunct, but godless in that atheism is a lack of belief in the existence of a deity.

My journey of negotiating religion and faith is by no means unique. But by sharing it, I hope to help demystify what being an atheist is, based on my personal experience. Hopefully it will encourage others to not be afraid of their doubts as I was.

Many religious people tend to think that atheists are inherently

In the event of a medical emergency, the last thing a victim should be worried about is whether or not the medical facility they arrived at will have the appropriate equipment and trained staff to effectively assist them. Unfortunately, for many sexual assault victims in British Columbia, this is a reality.

Our current lack of so-called ‘rape kits’ (or sexual assault forensic examination kits) results in a lack of evidence to aid the police who investigate the crime, making it much harder to prosecute the offender.

Needless to say, these kits should be accessible to all victims of sexual assault regardless of where they are.

Out of the hundreds of medical facilities in BC, only 12 are capable of administering the kits, meaning most do not have the correct equipment or trained forensic

immoral people, which is a common misconception. Indeed, bad people who are atheists do exist, just as there are bad people who believe in God. But the lack of belief in God is hardly ever the cause of immorality.

Like most people from my home country Kenya, I was raised a Christian — Protestant, to be exact. However, soon after moving away from home in 2012, I began confronting my beliefs and values as an individual. I began to see the problematic nature of my attachment to Christianity, especially coming from a former British colony.

The last straw for me came when I attended a church service in downtown Vancouver.

A preacher rejoiced in an ailing man’s conversion to Christianity from Islam, which the preacher then claimed led to the man’s healing. The congregation then followed with an enthusiastic “Amen!”

Apparently God is a picky healer when it comes to non-Christians.

staff. Victims outside of Metro Vancouver are forced to travel long hours to facilities such as Vancouver General Hospital to wait for assistance, only to wait over a month for tests to be completed.

Furthermore, to transport a victim via police car to an appropriate facility does not help people overcome the feelings of being blamed as an assault victim. Commonly, victims will be transported in the back of a police car for the lengthy

November 9, 2015

From this point, I began to question the implications of believing solely in a Christian God. If born into a family of different faith, wouldn’t that determine what kind of God I believe in?

And if one faith is right, is everyone else wrong?

This led me to research and increasingly question my faith over the course of two years, along with deep reflection about my values. What I realised was that God and religion were ideas I only accepted based on fear and pure indoctrination. That’s

drive, which makes them feel more like criminals themselves; a person who feels blamed for being sexually assaulted may also be discouraged to report the crime at all.

The inaccessibility of the examination kits to victims who live in smaller towns also devalues the offended, as the lack of resources in their area suggest that their health and safety are not as important as those who live in the city. Regardless of where one lives, accessibility

when I decided that I would hold on to them no longer.

The concept of God is an unnecessary burden that does little for my personal development.

This, however, does not mean that I am automatically motivated to be ‘bad;’ instead I focus on different things for personal fulfillment and to seek answers.

Evidently, my process did not come from premature rebellion. It was the result of careful consideration leading me to eventually outgrow religion and subsequently God.

Yes, ladies and gents, I outgrew God. I don’t mean that in an arrogant or dismissive way, though. I simply left behind bad ideas. My rejection of God is about my way of living, and still allows me to maintain my ethics.

I’m still learning to cope with accepting my lack of belief. It is by no means an easy transition. However, our insecurities can be easily dealt with if we are open about them. Hiding underneath the guise of social acceptance does little to promote our well-being.

to such equipment in today’s society is vital and a necessity.

Squamish counsellor Susan Chapelle, an assault survivor herself, is advocating for increased rape kit access throughout Canada. She recently reached out to Vancouver Coastal Health to address the issue and has requested funding for a forensic nurse in Squamish (where the closest facility equipped with a rape kit is Vancouver General Hospital), but she received an unsatisfactory response.

complex, but it has been estimated in North American college surveys that nearly one fifth to one quarter of women have been assaulted.

Will this be another violent crime against women that is swept under the rug, similar to the lack of attention given to missing and murdered indigenous women?

This issue is not unique to British Columbia, either. With a greater population than our own province, even Ontario only has about 35 facilities that can administer rape kits. In some rural areas of Canada, the kits have to be brought in by the RCMP. Clearly, this accessibility issue is a nationwide problem.

The lack proper medical attention simply means that the evidence needed to prosecute offenders will barely exist. To make rape kits available at all medical facilities across Canada is necessary in order to protect future victims, and bring to justice the wrong-doers.

As sexual assault is one of the most common serious crimes, frankly it is appalling that the government has not addressed this issue. Sexual assault reports are

OPINIONS

“What the hell am I paying this institution for if I am not getting my grades?” This is what I wondered after writing a midterm conceived in the fiery depths of hell. With the TSSU still struggling to reach an agreement with the university last week, I was becoming seriously concerned with where I stood on the teeter-totter of academic success.

Just as I was about to go rogue and start my application process to UBC, I had an epiphany.

What if we don’t need grades to be successful students?

Adam Van der Zwan made it clear in a previous Peak article titled “Stop throwing shade on the grade” that maintaining our current grading system is imperative to fostering good students. He says, “You think a system of letters creates undesired competition? Welcome to the life we must face outside SFU’s walls.”

If competition through grades is what we are after, then the bell curve should be used in all of our classes because, according to my friend and

November 9, 2015

graduate of the Beedie School of Business Michael Costley, that is the model that most closely resembles competition in the job market.

But the bell curve model is far from what I am talking about.

What I advocate is a change to a completely outdated system. Many SFU students temporarily learned to live without their grades because of the TSSU strike. Instead, many of us were given in-depth feedback for our work. We ought to explore this idea further, and perhaps bring universities into an new era of scholarly feedback.

We are young, adaptable, and

If I were to be completely practical, I’d say that all airlines are pretty much crap. But instead of wallowing in my first-world problems, I thought I’d take a moment to snapshot the fleeting happy moments in life, to sift through the negativity and pull out those golden nuggets, to pluck the ripe from the rotten.

In this case, I’m talking about that sweet contract Air Canada has with Cineplex Odeon, which allows passengers to play ‘still in cinema’ films from touch screens on the back of the passenger’s seat in front of them. Let’s be honest: this personal in-flight entertainment

think differently than past generations, something that should be embraced — or, should I say, ‘engaged.’

An article from The Guardian in 2012 showed 23 per cent of responders in a survey regarding the graduate job market “singled out lack of jobs and opportunities” as their biggest challenge; others regarded unpaid internships and being regarded as inexperienced “a big hurdle.” It seems that committing years to grueling courses and having the piece of paper to prove you graduated just isn’t enough anymore. The GPA has lost translation.

We are even accepted into programs with virtually no market available when we graduate. Those hoping to become teachers are a prime example, as a tragic amount of Canadian graduates are unable to find work in the country.

Students pay astronomical amounts to be graded, rather than be challenged and reinforced intellectually. If we are to truly remain competitive as students, we should place more emphasis on actually preparing for competition in the real world.

It’s time to ask ourselves not what will be lost if we abolish the grading system, but what will be gained. Without grades, SFU’s

has pretty much revolutionized the commercial airplane experience, and has left the Canadian corporation flipping the smug bird at most of the other travel options out there.

Personally, I view this free inflight entertainment as a reward for all the stress a passenger encounters while going through customs and baggage checks. Sure, Air Canada just might lose track of that huge suitcase with all of your personal belongings for an indefinite period of time, but as long as your 14-hour flight has films that you don’t have to spend $25 at the cinema to see, then it’s not as much of a big deal, right?

United States airlines have a lot of catching up to do. Either that or they’re simply extorting passengers’ pocket-cash for all its worth. I took a flight to Texas last week and was surprised to find that there are no touchscreens emblazoned on the seats of United Airlines airplanes. I’m sorry to say this, but I’m now going to bitch about my firstworld problems.

In place of a touch screen was a simple blue sticker that flashed a wifi symbol and asked me to pay $8 to connect to their Web service in order to access in-flight entertainment on my personal digital device. Other United flights I took

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grading system was replaced with direct feedback from our teaching assistants and professors, which is far more conducive to learning. This has the potential to create students more prepared to be successful and to have a competitive edge where it counts.

Our world has changed drastically over the last 20 years, and our education system should, too. We do not live in the time that our parents grew up in, and the present is only going to move further away from that period.

We should be defining our futures and how we get there, not our outdated institutions.

during the trip had no wifi access altogether. I’m sorry, United Airlines, but Canada has set the bar pretty darn high. As your valued passenger I expect free, easily accessible in-flight entertainment, and to deprive me of this is to hang your head in shame while crushing your skull under the corporate weight of your “friendly hat,” Canada.

United Airlines, call me a pretentious ass, but if you’re also going to lose all my luggage and then smack me in the face with a boring flight, then you’ve lost all my respect. I guess I could pull out a novel, but really — who reads books these days?

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ARTS

arts editor email

November 9, 2015

Tessa Perkins arts@the-peak.ca

The Last Witch Hunter is exactly what viewers have come to expect from superstar Vin Diesel and Sahara director Breck Eisner: a passable action flick bearing low expectations and all the buzz of a half-pitcher of red wine sangria.

The story follows Kaulder ( Vin Diesel), a witch hunter cursed with immortality as he continues to live his life in the 21 century. The story focuses primarily on the eternal warrior as he sets out to solve the murder of his friend and confidant, played by Sir Michael Caine.

Joining Kaulder on his journey is his young handler (Elijah Wood) and a feisty dream walker (Rose Leslie).

Let’s start with the positives in this movie: the action sequences are by far some of the most glorious highlights of the fantastical caper. Kaulder is a confident warrior who brings a level of gravitas

and badassdom to every magic incantation and sword stroke.

It is utterly baffling and frustrating that Kaulder justifies having an overstocked armory when he only uses three of his weapons throughout the entire movie. After all, what is the point of having a collection of formidable weaponry, when he only ends up bringing a pistol and sword to the final battle in the film? It just seems like a waste of good equipment.

Another thing the film gets right is the cinematography.

Every shot in the film is artistically crafted and looks like a stunning portrait. The set designs are good enough to stand on their own and provide a serviceable amount of world building.

Vin Diesel, who stars as the lead in this supernatural action film gives a performance on par with his previous films. Although one could make the argument that his performance is yet another carbon copy of itself, it’s hard to really criticize Diesel’s acting as he suits the character he plays. The only problem is that Kaulder himself isn’t all that interesting to root for.

Kaulder is an extremely boring protagonist for one main reason: he cannot die. We never feel worried or concerned for

his well-being; the character even often mirrors the audience’s boredom. The character is most interesting in the film’s introduction as a grieving father and widower out for revenge against an evil witch.

However, we hardly see this side of the character in this film, instead only a wise cracking and distant hero who seems

nauseated by his redundant role as a protector of humanity.

As for the supporting cast in the film, they unfortunately bring very little to the witch-hunt at hand, and at times seem like throwaway characters that could have been removed entirely. The lack of their presence would not have made any significant difference in the long run of this story.

In the end, The Last Witch Hunter is an entertaining silver screen feature which unfortunately peaks in the first 10 minutes. While not a superb film, it will provide some wholesome entertainment, but nothing overly memorable. The Last Witch Hunter would have been better suited as Fox TV series cancelled after one season.

At the Lost + Found cafe on Hastings street on November 1, Canadian publisher Nightwood Editions launched four poetry collections by emerging Canadian writers. Copies of the four titles were sold by Pulpfiction Books.

Silas White, publisher of Nightwood Editions, explained that “with the decline of community bookstores, book launches are crucial to fostering a sense of community for the writers.” This strong sense of community was apparent at the launch in both

the authors and guests. Supported by family, friends, peers, and readers the four authors read excerpts from their newly published books, and gave words of thanks to those involved in bringing them to print.

Nick Thran, currently the writer-in-residence at the University of Calgary, presented his third collection of poetry, Mayor Snow . Joe Denham’s fourth publication, Regeneration Machine , is a requiem to the ghost of an old friend, reconciling the unexpected violent end of a non-violent young man. Sheryda Warrener teaches Creative Writing at UBC, and Floating is Everything is her second poetry collection, a collection that explores ways of belonging by drawing on an unexpected cast of characters.

Perpetual , written by Rita Wong and illustrated by Cindy Mochizuki, is a collection of

poetic essays on the power and presence of water. Wong is a Calgary native and associate professor in Critical and Cultural Studies at Emily Carr University of Art and Design, who received her PhD from SFU. Cindy Mochizuki is an Interdisciplinary Artist with an MFA from SFU’s School of Contemporary Arts.

Perpetual continues Wong’s long-term interest in water, spawning from a 2007 callout to protect sacred waters by Dorothy Christian, an interdisciplinary artist and scholar from the Secwepemc Nation.

Rita Wong chronicles her discovery of water from the lost creeks of Vancouver, through the Fraser river, to the tar sands of Alberta, exploring memories of place and stewardship along the way, through indigenous knowledge and its connection to the land.

Wong described the importance of “being conscious of where you are, and where your water comes from,” as it forms such a crucial part of our interconnected world. Her volume references issues around our sources of water, as well as how we value, secure and conserve it. This frames water as a crucial part of the conversation around sustainability, one which she described as an excellent opportunity to work together to find a solution. Audiences could see this collaborative mindset at play in Wong’s book launch reading, where she opened by expressing her “respect for those that work in, profit from, and protest the development of the tar sands.”

Cindy Mochizuki’s compelling illustrations support Wong’s writing by expanding on the text in both a documentary, and surreal manner. Laid out

in the style of a graphic novel, the illustrations are done in a simple black and white line-art palette that creates an environment that is distinctly personal and dream-like. Perpetual’s essays read as part educational documentary, part discovery and self-reflection. This combination makes for an approachable and enchanting look at ideas around water.

Through her writing, Rita Wong continues a tradition of activism by university scholars, one recently visible in our own Lynne Quarmby and Stephen Collis, SFU professors who formed part of the protests against the Trans-Mountain Pipeline expansion here on Burnaby mountain. In Perpetual, Rita Wong’s reflective and conciliatory tone and Mochizuki’s ability to personalize this narrative are characteristic of a shifting approach in activism from confrontation, to reconciliation.

Justin Stevens Peak Associate

Kaulder (Vin Diesel) is an unexciting protagonist.

Photo courtesy of Summit Entertainment

ARTS

November 9, 2015

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Photo courtesy of Andrea Mohin

Montreal’s Daniel Léveillé has been creating dance works for over 35 years, and has recently begun to incorporate costumes other than complete nudity into his works. That being said, the dancers of Solitudes Solo were wearing very little. Taking turns performing alone, the four male dancers and one female wore only underwear for most of the show as they performed Léveillé’s physically demanding yet slow-moving choreography.

Set to a soundtrack of Bach, the fluid, calming music was juxtaposed with short, stilted movements that looked like quite a strain to perform. There were many moments of silence in between the calming classical sounds, but this only served to draw more attention to the increasingly tedious repetition of the movement.

As each dancer took the stage in turn, they seemed to

perform almost the exact same sequence, if not the same movements in a slightly different way. The tours en l’air that began and ended in a completely stationary position were impressive, along with the jetés that looked as if the dancer was jumping from rock to rock, trying not to fall into the water.

The choreography required an impressive amount of control, balance, and flexibility to repeat the demanding moves over and over again.

In this way, the show was striking. Other than being a physical feat, though, the repetition was banal. The dancers’ expressionless faces did not help to enliven the performance either, though I suspect that Léveillé would have had a calculated reason for creating this starkly emotionless work that seems to go on without end, even while the last dancer repeats his moves as the lights fade to black.

Seemingly dumbfounded by what they had just seen, the audience sat in the dark for what felt like an eternity before slow applause began. While I wasn’t able to understand what the motivation or significance behind this piece was, I applaud the dancers for their valiant efforts and Léveillé for his bold, distinct choreography.

Victoria is an intense, gutwrenching experience filled with suspense. Director Sebastian Schipper make the intelligent choice to use one shot for the entire film, forcing us to be right beside the characters as they undertake a dangerous journey. What we don’t see is just as thrilling as what we do.

Unlike most bank heist movies, which value a fast pace from beginning to end, Victoria is patient and methodical. The movie takes its time

in establishing its characters and making us care for them.

We are intrigued by a troublesome group of four guys with their cheekiness and affinity for trouble; we laugh along with them as they joke and tease each other. Much like the lead character Victoria (Laia Costa) is, we are introduced, we are introduced to them and become friends with them over the course of the night.

The chemistry of the five main characters is what makes this movie as good as it is. We don’t feel apprehension as Victoria meets these four loud guys for the first time. The flirtation between her and Sonne (Frederick Lau) seems easy and natural. As they break small laws, we don’t feel that they are bad people; this is why the level of danger these characters end up in is so jolting.

Viewers empathize with all the characters involved and

never feel the need to judge them, because ultimately an unfortunate combination of elements forced otherwise good people into a terrible situation. As ridiculous as it seems, it is never completely implausible that all the characters are involved in a robbery. Schnipper is brilliant at increasing pace and suspense at the right moments; from the moment a night of fun and mischief turns bad, for instance, the pace increases and the energy of the movie spikes. We run through a series of emotions ranging from discomfort to horror.

Although the shaky camera moved at a dizzying speed at times, we get to fully appreciate the brilliance of using one shot at the climax of the film. This wild thriller ends with a messy, heartbreaking scene, where Costa’s acting talent shines.

Write for arts. it’s a safe bet. arts@the-peak.ca

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November 9, 2015

COMIC CONNOISSEUR

The Dog Days Are Over dazzled at the Scotiabank Dance Centre. This contemporary dance piece by Belgian choreographer Jan Martens created a buzz in the Vancouver dance community with its daring attempts to push the human body to its limits.

Simply, choreographer Jan Martens’ dancers jumped onstage for 70 minutes without stopping.

They moved in and out of complex formations, sweated through their costumes, grimaced, laughed, and shouted out counts. It was a wave of energy, and their sheer determination swept over the audience and filled us with awe. As the piece went on, we saw the cyclical unraveling and reclaiming of each individual’s mental and physical stamina. The form of the jumping evolved, but never stopped until the performers (and audience) were overcome with exhaustion.

“I felt concerned,” one audience member told me after the show. Another was more critical: “It was tedious at times.” To be clear, The Dog Days Are Over was not a relaxing show to watch. At the start, the theatre was fully lit and bare, with six female and two male

dancers at the back of the stage.

Once they put on socks and running shoes, they formed a straight line and began to jump.

The next 30 minutes adapted these modest hops into kaleidoscopic choreography, rearranging the bodies in engaging and surprising ways. After a near-blackout, the jumping took on new quirky and bizarre body designs. This is when the dancers began to shout their counts, their strain and conviction audible as they spurred each other on to continue.

In this minimalistic piece without narrative, and few lighting and sound cues, what held my interest were the unique bodies of the dancers themselves. Their costumes showed off their form: bare stomachs and legs compressed and stretched with every leap, glistening with sweat. On their faces, we began to see more and more personality as they struggled to complete just one task — simply, to keep going.

In the post-show talkback, Jan Martens revealed that this was exactly his goal for the piece. He explained, “through their mental exhaustion, the humanity comes through.” Rather than making shapes or telling a story, the dancers perform their sheer effort. And in this sense, The Dog Days Are Over achieved something fully translatable: the synergy of mind and body under strain.

The School for the Contemporary Arts offers classes open to all in acting, dance, film, music, theatre production and visual arts at SFU Burnaby and Vancouver.

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Contact ca@sfu.ca for more information

Contrary to popular belief, a sidekick is not a flamboyantly dressed crime-fighting assistant confidently sporting emerald fish-scale panties. Although I can see where you might have drawn that conclusion.

No, a sidekick is much more than just embarrassing fashion choices and corny catch phrases. At their fundamental core, the sidekick is a dear friend, a relentless partner tasked with assisting a confidant to the best of their human (or non-human) ability. They are the foundation of any dynamic duo and the glue that keeps every good team afloat. And like any cherished colleague, they have it in their power to help make us better and worthier people than we can ever imagine.

In Nimona, we come to see the beautiful side to the historically underrated ward and how they can be a defining part of our lives.

Lord Ballister Blackheart is a man with a thirst for revenge. After losing his arm

and being wrongfully banished from the Institution of Law Enforcement and Heroics, Blackheart turns to a life of villainy. While scheming up a plan to expose the unvirtuous quality of the institution, he happens upon an unexpected interloper by the name of Nimona who breaks into his lair. Nimona, inspired by Blackheart’s turpitude, offers her services to him, albeit eccentrically. Begrudgingly, the malefactor agrees, unleashing upon himself a jocular caboodle of escapades.

Nimona is a charming character who, despite being childish, does anything but annoy. Shamelessly headstrong and unswervingly honest, she helps to make every page an utter joy to read. Even better though, Nimona is not some cheaply crafted oneliner machine; she is a character written with such tactful depth you’d swear she was a real person living upon every panel of the story.

Although Nimona is the title character of the graphic novel, the story’s focus is placed mainly on Lord Ballister Blackheart, who is a compelling if not tragic lead. By himself, Blackheart would have been a more than sufficient protagonist to uphold the comic’s yarn. However, the majesty of Nimona’s success rests in the sidesplitting conductive relationship between its two electrifying criminals.

Blackheart plays the straight shooter to Nimona’s

quirky endeavors, rolling his eyes and losing his temper in tune to the rambunctious actions of his energetic squire.

Every page the two characters share is a delight. Whether allocating time to a heart-toheart or frolicsome squabble over the dumbest of topics, readers can get really entrenched in the dysfunctional relationship the two share and how they help each other grow.

As for the artwork — well, it’s absolutely breathtaking.

To call it eye candy would be too cheap a connotation to bestow upon it. Nimona is nothing less than a visual libation your eyes could drink until the end of time with no need for alternate sustenance.

In a sea of sometimes superfluous similar works and multitudinous choices, it can be a grandiose conquest just to find something unique (never mind something ultimately enjoyable). However, Nimona is a reminder that if you look hard enough you can still find a treasure or two in a bookstore packed of monotonous remakes and ridiculous knock-offs.

Noelle Stevenson crafted a work so mesmerizingly wonderful that splashes of her heart can be seen on every page you turn. Nimona is a whimsical tale which will leave your sides aching from laughter and your tear ducts drained as you wish the experience could last just another page more.

ARTS

Cock was fast, intense, and impressive. Put simply, this play was breathtaking. Stephen Drover directs Rumble Theatre’s newest performance on Granville Island, presenting a series of hard-hitting questions and relaying issues with Western ideals.

Written by Mike Bartlett, Cock showcases a steady longterm relationship between two men that quickly takes a left turn when they hit a rough patch, during which time the protagonist, John, falls in love with a woman. Nearly half of the 90-minute play focuses around a dinner attended by John, the man he loves, the woman he loves, and a surprising guest.

I can imagine you’re already booking tickets for the play the day after your last midterm. But what if I was to tell you that’s not even the best part? It’s hard to name just one, but one of the most interesting and important parts of the play was the lack of anything and everything not human: there was nothing more than eight sets of staggered seats surrounding a small platform.

Drover didn’t use a single prop, a single drop of music — nothing.

Distractions, he calls them.

Although the play portrays man vs. man conflict threefold, the real battle Cock embodied was man vs. self. John, the illustrious protagonist, is not remembered for his humour or his quirks, like his boyfriend. He is not known for the boldness and self-assuredness that his girlfriend embodies. No, John

November 9, 2015

embodies each and every single person who has ever questioned who and what they are.

The need to know where we fit in this world is not merely scary, but destructive. Throughout the play, John sees himself only through the lenses of those with whom he interacts — never through his own. Cock speaks to the differences between the known, the common, and the habituated versus what we legitimately want in life. Through varied perspectives, such as biology and politics, Cock discusses the problems with self-actualization and how heavily involved society is in this personal phenomenon.

Despite tackling these tough topics, Drover never fails to make us laugh; he seamlessly integrates elements of humour into each and every act. The play is also wonderfully honest. Whenever an awkward moment occurred or whenever there was an opportune moment for a sarcastic remark, they were realized perfectly. Drover added an aspect of reality to his show that often gets misplaced in performances. This was appreciated by the audience, who were engaged throughout.

Drover has a masterpiece on his hands. The cherries on top were the actors: Nadeem Phillip, Shawn Macdonald, Donna Soares, and Duncan Fraser shared chemistry that was impossible to miss. The ways in which they drove me to the edge of my seat in pure angst of what was going to happen next was more than brilliant. All four shared an extreme chemistry that really made me believe that love isn’t the only thing you should be fighting for. You should fight for you.

Cock is presented by Rumble Theatre October 29 to November 8. For more information, visit rumble.org.

For those of you, like myself, who are not familiar with Peanuts, it is pretty much the greatest comic strip ever thought of in the history of the world. At its peak in the ’60s, Peanuts had won over 355 million hearts in 75 countries. It dominated the Sunday newspapers every week. What made it so popular?

Charlie Brown, the main character of the comic strip, was a failure. Anything he did turned out to be a failure. He never could kick a football, his baseball team always lost, he could never approach his crush, and above all, he could never fly a kite because the “stupid Kiteeating tree” always prevented him. He was a “blockhead,” as Lucy, his frenemy, so often puts it. Some days he’s excited and motivated with self-confidence, and others he’s cautious and pessimistic — not wanting to ruin his day with more failures.

His character, simply put, is like everyone.

Overall, the movie felt like a bunch of mini-stories pasted into one movie — which makes sense, given that Peanuts was a newspaper comic strip. At the start, Charlie Brown is hopeful on the first day of winter to fly his kite. This time he can do it! Nope. After failing like always, he is debilitated and he reminds himself he’s a loser along with his peers.

However, a new girl moves into his neighborhood, and Charlie is optimistic that he can start over with a clean slate and make a real friend. After the new kid joins the class, Charlie is in love. It’s the “little redhaired girl” from the comic strip. However, he cannot work up the courage to talk to her.

Throughout the story Charlie devises plans to impress her so he can talk to her. Through various schemes like winning awards and doing favours, he attempts to impress his crush.

His integrity in these situations is questionable, but only he knows his true motivations.

But through honesty, compassion, and kindness, Charlie Brown proves himself a hero and ends up a winner.

And what’s more? An equally

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compelling side-story of Snoopy as a flying ace trying to save the girl from the evil “Red Baron” is a perfect analogy of Charlie’s journey of resilience and self-belief.

The message was absolutely beautiful, and I felt my chest lighten seeing that there was finally a family movie teaching kids that being nice, compassionate, and honest is cooler than winning. That no matter what material or worldly failures meet you, if you are a good person you will end up a winner.

And as the credits rolled, I realized I too would be a winner if only I remained a good person.

And thus, I had a new view on life (well, student life): GPA does not define me or you.

What you think, what you do, how you behave everyday at home, on campus, and by yourself is what determines your success and your quality of life.

Megan Trainor’s “Good to Be Alive” was a perfect song to end the film that left me with a tingling feeling as the lyrics coursed through me: “Feels good, don’t it? Feels good, don’t it? You only got one life; live in the moment.”

Heed this advice and go watch this movie with your friends and loved ones for a great laugh and an uplifting story.

arts@the-peak.ca

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SPORTS

November 9, 2015

Nick Bondi Sports Editor Over the last weekend the SFU men’s hockey team played two games, and it was a tale of two different results. The first was against Eastern Washington, which was won by SFU in a close 3–2 game. The second one was a 5–0 loss at the hands of rivals Selkirk College.

“We had real good energy friday night,” said Head Coach Mark Coletta on the weekend’s games. “We had good pace, and obviously we got the win. But Saturday we came out flat, and didn’t compete hard enough.”

Friday night’s game got off to a great start for the Clan: they were able to get up to a 2–0 lead,

After flying down to California earlier in the week, the SFU football program hoped to get their first win of the year against the Lumberjacks of Humboldt State University (HSU), who are currently sitting in first place atop the GNAC with an undefeated record.

The sound of 5,000-plus screaming fans in costumes with the buzzing of the mascot’s chainsaw on the sidelines sure made for a ghostly atmosphere in Arcata, California on October 31 as the Clan prepared to take on this year’s GNAC contenders.

SFU opened the game on offense and rallied down the field with the help of a 26-yard completion from quarterback Ryan Stanford to receiver Christian Berger.

They settled for a field goal a few plays later, but it sailed to left of the uprights, leaving the score 0–0.

Humboldt state responded the following drive with a field goal attempt, but this too missed wide.

A stout Lumberjack defense began to hone in on the Clan

offense, as SFU was only able to amass three first downs in the first quarter. These short offensive drives for the Clan gave HSU great field position, which they quickly took advantage of by putting together back to back drives that ended with rushing touchdowns from running backs Ja’Quan Gardner and Jabar Byrd.

Coach Bates described the outcome of limited offensive production by stating, “[when we’re] not able to stay on the field on offense, really our defense gets to a point where they’re just tired and they get worked over. Part of that is a product of the size of our roster size at this point in time.”

Jordan and Justin Herdman led the SFU defense to a couple of promising stops to open up the second quarter, including a big play on third down where SFU defensive back Cairo Messer-Barrow broke up a possible first down catch for HSU. “They are dedicated to their craft, they work hard and their students of the game,” coach Bates said of the Herdmans. “They are human and they make mistakes, but they are leaders on this defense and I don’t know where we would be without them.”

However, things began to turn sour for the Clan as the Lumberjack defense forced an

thanks to goals from Michael Sandor and newcomer Brandon Tidy, shorthanded. But after

interception and back-to-back three and out drives for the SFU offense. The Lumberjack offense would simultaneously rally together to put an additional 21 points on the scoreboard before heading into the locker room for halftime.

“We can’t afford to make mistakes when we play [HSU], but each play we had one or two guys make mental errors, and that caused issues that [they] weren’t able to overcome as a team,” said coach Bates.

sports editor email

Nick Bondi sports@the-peak.ca

that, Eastern Washington forward Beau Walker scored both goals to tie it up at two.

“Obviously he’s a good player,” said Coletta about Walker. “He’s a good skater, he’s got great skill, and he’s a Division I transfer. We’ve had trouble identifying where he’s on the ice, and bumping him when he has the puck.”

The third period featured 13 shots by SFU, and they got the winning goal courtesy of Jesse Mysiorek, his first of the season. Goalie Jordan Liem made 28 saves on the night.

The second game was in stark contrast to the first one.

The Clan were badly outshot and took twice as many penalties in this game compared to the first. So what went wrong in the second game?

“A lot of it is physiological,” remarked Coletta. “There’ still a stigma when we go up to Selkirk

Lumberjack quarterback Robert Weber opened up the second half of the game by leading his team down the field to add to an already staggering lead by throwing his second touchdown pass of the day to make the score 42–0.

An early deficit in the second half forced the Clan to abandon the run game that had been so efficient in recent weeks thanks to the recent emergence of converted running back Ante Milanovic-Litre. Ante finished the

and play there. It’s part of the mental aspect of the game, and we still need to work on that.”

After Nelson Hurry gave Selkirk the 1–0 lead, the doors burst open in the second period. Selkirk scored three in the frame, including one early in the period on the powerplay.

They rubbed salt in their wounds with a fifth goal in the third. Selkirk player Ryan Edwards ended the game with an incredible five assists.

With a goal over the weekend, new player Tidy has gotten off to a quick start in his BCIHL career. He now has three points in five games, and has become a regular in Mark Coletta’s lineup.

“He’s a character guy,” Coletta noted. “He plays a bold, hard, crashing style of game that has worked out well for us.”

The trip leaves the team 2–1 on the road on the season. Their next game is on the road against Trinity Western at the Langley Events Centre on Saturday.

game with only 14 rushing attempts for a total of 28 yards.

The rest of the second half continued to play out in favour of HSU, as they tacked on an additional pair of touchdowns before closing out the game. Stanford finished the game completing 17 of 36 passes for 140 yards and two interceptions. Justin Burren again came out as the Clan’s leading receiver, with four catches for 52 yards, while Jordan and Justin Herdman led SFU in tackles with 26 and 12 total tackles respectively.

SPORTS

November 9, 2015

The most thrilling aspect of participation in sport is the total pursuit of victory against elite competition. Athletes frequently say the greatest satisfaction is victory achieved with maximum effort despite incredible adversity. For those who do not play sports at a high level, backcountry hiking is an example of a local activity where one can experience the emotions of victory, struggle, and perseverance.

In 2009, I decided to hike British Columbia’s legendary West Coast Trail. I recently had started car camping and thought I could figure out what

would be required to do the 75 km Vancouver Island hike. I naively picked up an 80 Litre pack and bought a compact tent.

The only thing I did right in my preparation was making sure that my hiking shoes were broken in. I had no rain gear, no hiking poles, no thermals, a cheap sleeping bag, and my pack weighed a crippling 90 lbs! My pack was so heavy because I brought food like peanut butter and tins of sardines and salmon. I also brought three thick, hardcover history books.

The hike would turn out to be one of the toughest and most rewarding experiences of my life.

My first day hiking was absolutely brutal, as it involved difficult navigation over roots and through the mud of the rainforest trail. There were also significant rises and drops in elevation gain as well as the ladders. The West Coast Trail has dozens of extremely long ladders which are quite scary to climb when soaked and slippery.

The first day, I hiked only six kilometres in five hours. My knees were throbbing, and after a frigid night, I hid in my tent from the rain while rehabbing my knees. I also did not realize that my pack was

Simon Fraser University has announced that it will host a conference on the emerging field of hockey analytics on April 9, 2016 at the Harbour Centre campus. It will take place from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., and the conference will feature some of the brightest minds of the analytics community, to be announced closer to the date of the conference.

“The motivation behind it is that hockey analytics are becoming more popular,” explained Tim Swartz, professor in the Department of Statistics and Actuarial Science. “Every team is hiring analytics people to do their work, to gain a competitive edge. Fans are interested in this, and I think it fits in well with SFU’s vision of engagement.

“We plan on not just having academics at this meeting, but

people from media — television, print — and casual fans.”

Hockey analytics has exploded in recent years. Some of the metrics, such as “Corsi” and “Fenwick,” have even started to enter the average hockey fan’s vocabulary. Sports analytics in general have become more popular in recent years, mostly due to the proliferation of data that is available both to teams and the fans themselves. Sites such as War on Ice are able to give the average fan a plethora of data that they can choose to use as they see fit.

“It’s the use of data to make informed decisions concerning the game. It’s widespread,” added Swartz. He further explained that analytics can be used to make decisions about players’ salaries, answering questions such as, “should you pay someone one million dollars a year or two million dollars a year?”

Swartz gave an example of how data can be used to make in game-decisions. “I wrote a paper a few years back about pulling the goaltender, and the convention [at the time] was to pull your goalie with about a minute left to play. But I think

our work has influenced people a little bit. So you’re gradually seeing the goalie pulled earlier and earlier.”

Patrick Roy, head coach of the Colorado Avalanche and legendary former goalie, was one of the earliest adopters of this trend. Said Swartz, “My collaborators at Laval University gave the paper to Patrick,” hinting that Roy may have been inspired by his work. “I don’t know if it influenced Patrick at all, but we know he had the paper.”

Sports has always been a passion for Swartz, so it was natural for him to get into its analytics as a statistician and to help organize the conference.

“I’ve played sports and watched sports all my life [. . .] I’ve been working on sports problems for a long time. The range of sports I have worked on has included highland dance, soccer, baseball, hockey, and cricket.”

Registration is free; however, a donation of 10 dollars is suggested. If you can’t make the conference but are still interested in analytics, a sports analytics club has recently been formed at SFU. The club meets every second Tuesday of the month.

not waterproof; I left it outside the tent and everything got completely soaked, including my unsealed toilet paper. The icing on the cake: a bee stung me twice in the neck as I was trying to relax and read.

17

I had to dig deep the next morning to achieve victory over the trail. I slipped and fell multiple times, enduring several cuts from sharp barnacles as I climbed over massive beach boulders. My persistence ultimately would pay off, though.

The rest of the hike included spectacular scenes of shorebirds flying in poetic unison, cute crabs scurrying on the rocks, bald eagles, sea lions, and rich ocean life in the tidal pools. I slept on beaches every night entranced by the roar of the ocean.

On the last day, the sun came out and I finally could see the beautiful ocean at the end of Canada. I hit the marker for kilometre 75 singing in celebration after conquering the West Coast Trail. Each summer since then, I have hiked a new national park with different challenges in my duel with nature.

If you are looking for a competitive challenge, the backcountry might be for you.

18 SPORTS

November 9, 2015

Elsewhere in SFU sports. . .

Last Saturday was the most meaningful game the SFU women’s soccer team had played in a long time.

After four straight years of finishing at the bottom of the GNAC standings, the Clan have fought their way back to the top in a season that has defied expectations.

A win in last Saturday’s game could have secured the team a spot in the GNAC conference championships, to be played here at SFU. All they had to do was beat Western Oregon.

Unfortunately, it was not to be. A late goal into overtime

by Wolves forward Taylor Higa destroyed any hope of the clan qualifying, and the team ended the season just out of the fourth place spot needed to qualify.

The first half ended in a scoreless draw, but that doesn’t mean it was void of chances.

SFU outshot the visitors 14–6 in the opening frame, but couldn’t find the back of the

net. Christian Dickson had two shots in close off an SFU corner in the first half, but could not convert to take the lead.

The Clan got behind early in the second half. Off a free kick eight minutes in, Brooke Steinberg buried it into the right side of the net for an early 1–0 lead. SFU was able to quickly answer and keep the hope of a victory alive.

Just under a minute later, freshman Katelyn Erhardsen took the ball at the right corner of the 18-yard box, and buried it into the left hand corner. From there, SFU pushed the pace of the game, trying desperately to tip the scales.

However, nothing was solved after

It’s been a long time since you could say the Vancouver Canucks are having a youth movement. Not since the 1998–99 season have the Canucks had three rookies start on the team.

There hasn’t been a concerted effort to integrate youth into the lineup since the team started playing two baby-faced twins from Sweden. And it’s giving the fans something to be excited about.

It’s been well documented how shit the Vancouver Canucks drafting has been throughout the years. From 2006 to 2011, the Canucks drafting produced two NHL regulars, Michael Grabner and Cody Hodgson.

Grabner, after scoring 34 goals

in 2011 with the Islanders, has struggled to score goals consistently, while Hodgson is now a Nashville Predator after being bought out by Buffalo.

And don’t even get me started on their drafting in the 1980s.

The Canucks routinely passed on future hall of famers for guys that never panned out, missing out on players such as Al MacInnis, Gary Roberts, and Brian Leetch. And Cam Neely, the one good player they did draft, got traded away for some scraps.

The team’s history of poor drafting is what makes the recent emergence of Jake Virtanen, Jared McCann, Ben Hutton, and even Bo Horvat super exciting as a fan. In just a couple of years, Canucks general manager Jim Benning has turned drafting, scouting and developing into one of the team’s major strengths. McCann is leading the team in goals, and both Virtanen and Horvat scored against the Flyers last Monday.

This hot start does not mean that McCann, Virtanen, Hutton,

ninety minutes and the game went to overtime.

In the 107th minute, heartbreak ensued. Off another free kick, Taylor Higa scored from just outside the box making the game 2–1 and ending any chance of SFU making it to the conference championship. Both keepers played exceptionally well, with SFU’s Priya Sandhu facing 19 shots total, nine of which were on target.

In all, it was a good season for SFU. Despite being picked to finish dead last before the season started, the team was able to beat the odds and challenge for a spot in the conference championships.

and Horvat will be this effective the whole year, but these rookies are providing the organization and the fanbase with hope for the future. For too long the Canucks have lacked young talent pushing into the team and earning roster spots. Not only does it potentially provide depth that can take pressure off the Sedins, but it provides cheap talent. In a salary cap league, it’s imperative

Forward Christina Dickson has been named GNAC freshman of the year for women’s soccer, and First Team All-Conference. The native of Burnaby, BC played in all 15 games for the Clan this year, scoring seven goals and three assists. She was a unanimous choice for First Team AllConference, and according to Head Coach Annie Hamel, “her future is going to be very bright.”

Not only did Erhardson score the Clan’s only goal, she was a force to be reckoned with up front. The freshman from Maple Ridge led her team with seven shots on goal, five of which were on target. The program is in good hands going into future years with the likes of both her and Christina Dickson up front.

that you get the most out of your entry-level contracts. If McCann can get at least 20 goals on an entry level contract, it would be considered a massive success.

These young guns are providing cheap, quality talent for a Canucks lineup that no one is quite sure what to make of just yet. With their play showing tons of potential, the future looks bright for now.

Both Cruz Velasquez and Ciran Bell won their weight classes last Saturday, as the Clan’s season got underway. Velasquez won in the 61 kg category, winning three straight matches to claim the crown. Bell, competing in the 90 kg category, won all four of the matches to win the category. He also competed in the 94 kg category, finishing fourth.

Two cross-country players have been named for the GNAC Academic AllConference team. Lorenzo Smith, a senior from Chilliwack, BC, had the highest cumulative grade point among athletes selected, with a 4.03 cumulative grade point average in Biomedical Physiology. Fellow senior Cameron Proceviat has also been selected to the team, with a 3.85 CGPA.

HUMOUR

humour editor email

November 9, 2015

Jacey Gibb humour@the-peak.ca

19

to raise the roof at a super hip uni party and find yourself a good-looking human!

Cancer (June 21 to July 22): I suggest you start living your life to the fullest, because your astrology sign says it all, man. It says it all.

Aries (March 21 to April 19): You’ve been working hard all week, so take some time to chillax. Do something fun, preferably leisureful — and no, studying to get ahead in your course reading isn’t considered “fun” by normal people. Calm down with some Netflix, a nice nap, and maybe get wrecked at the Highland Pub tonight.

Taurus (April 20 to May 20): Feeling nostalgic, Taurus? The alignment of Pluto this week means it’s an optimal time to call up an old friend. . . unless the old friend you’re thinking of is a total ass-wipe, which is why you let them go in the first place. If so, it’s okay to ignore Pluto just this one time and not call them; they’re an old friend, Taurus.

Leo (July 23 to August 22): Whenever I hear “Leo” I think of how there was totally room for two people on that floating door wood for Jack Dawson. I’m talking to you, Rose! So I guess I’m trying to say. . . sharing is good. #titanic Virgo (August 23 to September 22): If you looked into the mirror this morning and said, “Why am I so uuugly?,” let me tell you something: today, you are not ugly. If you were a bird, you’d be a swan. Fluff your fluffy feathers and prepare those mating calls.

Gemini (May 21 to June 20): Lucky for you, Venus has decided that you’re going to get laid this week. So use SFU’s Party Calendar

Libra (September 23 to October 22): This is the part where I give financial advice by recommending ways for you to save your money.

But hey, you guys aren’t the only students with money troubles. All of us uni students have money troubles. You can barely afford

As a university student, you’re no stranger to financial struggle. The loonie you found on the ground last Monday was the highlight of your week, and the first question you ask when you’re invited to literally any event ever is: Will there be free food? Luckily for you, The Peak has some money-saving tips to get you through the rest of the term.

Bedding: No classic grandmotherly figure who knits blankets like everyone else seems to have? No problem. Just head to your building’s laundry room. Most university students don’t get rid of the lint in the dryers after using them,

meaning you can take what everyone else left behind and forge makeshift pillows and blankets to get you through the cold, Canadian winter nights.

Your cellphone bill: Instead of spending $50+ a month on a cellphone plan for texting, calling, and data, learn the ancient art of smoke signals. Not only will the fire help keep you warm, but you’ll never have to worry about poor cell reception or dropped calls again; smoke signals work whether you’re in the middle of a metropolis or the middle of nowhere. Of course, you won’t be able to gossip anymore, you can’t really be discrete about giant plumes of smoke in the sky, but assumedly there aren’t too many people who could intercept and successfully interpret your messages.

Fresh breath: Instead of spending a few bucks on a pack of gum, save money by picking alreadychewed pieces off the bottom of

your textbooks, let alone tuition.

You have no money with which I can advise you about.

Scorpio (October 23 to November 21): Sometimes when you wanna travel, the plane crashes and you get stuck on, like, Mars or something. And despite your resourcefulness and your loyal character, I’d rather not be stuck in a desert with a venomous predator.

Nobody tells you what to do. You do your own thing, horse-human. You’re the bomb, and that will never change.

Capricorn (December 22 to January 19): Because the stars of our solar system won’t always align in your favour, try to avoid saying “when I graduate” and stick to more open-ended terminology, like “if I graduate.” Life is more fun when it’s not so strictly defined.

feeling a bit off these days. Perhaps it’s all the macchiatos and Red Bulls you’ve been chugging down to keep you bright-eyed and awake for your exams. Stay near a toilet.

Sagittarius (November 22 to December 21): You’re a freaking centaur. You don’t need advice.

Aquarius (January 20 to February 18): Uranus has been

Pisces (February 19 to March 20): Hey, little fishy. I know you’re feeling lonely these days because of that stormy breakup, but Neptune and its moons have come together to move Earth’s seven oceans, mixing things up a bit. Swim, little fishy, for there are other cute and charming chordates in the sea.

desks and chairs. Sure, maybe the flavor isn’t what it used to be, but the lackluster taste is made up for by the extra money in your bank account at the end of the month!

Even better, there’s the bonus of the element of surprise, never knowing what flavor of gum you’ll get.

Before, you would’ve had to spend extra on a variety pack of gum. But this way, you get to sample them all for free.

Bad hair day?: The cost of hair accessories like curling irons, flat irons, and combs can really add up, so take the financially-efficient route: just gather up the hair that’s been strung up on the shower stall wall. Not only will your floormates love you for taking care of the mess that once repulsed them, but you get a free wig out of it.

Some assembly required.

Netflix: Just because you’re poor, doesn’t mean you have to suffer by missing out on How to Get Away With Murder. Simply

set up a lawnchair outside of your neighbor’s house — we all have one that seems to never close their curtains — and voila! What used to be a gross, tragic trait of your

neighbour is now your ticket to free Netflix. It’s gross, but every Thursday night they’re your new best friend. You’ll just have to get really good at reading lips.

20 HUMOUR

November 9, 2015

HUMOUR

Vancouver’s Kyle Bottom is a man who wears many hats. Aside from nearly a decade and a half of stand-up experience, Bottom’s also the artist booker for downtown favourite The Comedy Mix and showrunner for Comedy Bucket, a monthly riffing show he started at Hot Art Wet City. (Even as I meet up with Bottom for our interview, he’s working on a script for an upcoming The Debaters episode, where he’ll be arguing that video games are not a waste of time.) Read on to learn more about how stand-up in Vancouver’s changed since the early 2000s, what to expect from his monthly comedy show, and why it’s Comedy Bucket instead of Comedy Jar. How would you describe your comedy to someone who’s never seen it?

Onstage, I’m just a big weirdo, I’m super sure of myself, very opinionated, arrogant, and with a little spice of offensive. I don’t really tell a lot of stories; I react to whatever’s going on in my life. My stand-up’s very personal or derived from personal experiences, more inward-focused.

How has the stand-up scene in Vancouver changed since you started in 2001?

It’s changed in that some people are missing. A lot of them

November 9, 2015

have moved on, because if you’re good at stand-up, there’s no real future in Canada. So a lot of people have left to go to the States or to England — those are the two big options. I also feel like there are more people who do standup now. The group of amateurs is a lot bigger than when I was starting out, and it’s become more social over the last couple of years.

If you could, what’s one piece of advice you’d give to 19-year-old Kyle Bottom regarding stand-up?

I’d probably tell myself to get a recording device sooner. I only started recording my sets when I got an iPhone, so I missed out on six years of recording my sets. I would also tell myself to not take any breaks, because when you take breaks from stand-up, it really wears down your skills.

What’s one piece of advice you’d give 19-year-old Kyle Bottom, not regarding stand-up?

Don’t wait to have sex. Love is not important.

Where did the idea for your monthly show, Comedy Bucket, come from?

It’s based off of a show by Paul Provenza called Set List, where they take a bunch of really top-level comics (who aren’t allowed to prepare anything in advance) and Paul uses a projector screen. The comics get onstage and he just throws up a random string of words, like “necromancer gangbang,” and the comedian has to talk about that until Paul’s satisfied and puts another thing up there. I saw Set List in Montreal and thought it was the best show ever, and I wanted to do

something like that. I wanted to do a riffing show, which is getting more and more popular in the stand-up world. People like riffing. Prepared material is great but it’s nice to have a change of pace.

Is there any submission you’re tired of pulling from the bucket?

Sometimes people want to do the show, they want to riff, but then they get a suggestion that they weren’t expecting and maybe it’s something a little dark or weird, and they freak out about it. One that we’ve gotten in the past that people just lose it on is “breast cancer.”

Someone pulls out and reads breast cancer and their brain melts. They have nothing they could possibly say that would be funny. And yeah, it’s a dark and messed-up topic for jokes but if you just let your mind wander and start talking, you never know what you’re going to find.

That’s why I like doing Comedy Bucket. It forces me to talk about things that I would’ve never even considered talking about in front of people. So I’m not sick of anything.

In fact, I like the mix. I like that people put in normal, every-day stuff like “cookie” and then the next one is breast cancer. That’s such a weird arc for a set to take.

How does one go about doing comedy or making light of something that is serious, like breast cancer?

What it comes down to is whether you can find something that’s funny about it to you. So if you have a dark topic and you can find an angle or way of approaching it that’s funny to you, then you can pass that onto audiences. It’s a lot of trial and error because the first time you tell it — especially if it’s a

dark joke — there’s a good chance it’ll bomb, because you don’t have the right confidence going into it.

You need a little bit of perseverance.

If you can find an angle on something that’s funny to you, then you can make it funny for an audience, even if it’s some messed up topic like necromancer gangbang.

Is the “comedy bucket” a literal bucket?

Yeah. I bought it at the dollar store. It’s a little metal garden bucket with a handle. It’s an actual bucket, if just for the ease of reaching into. It can’t be Comedy Jar, because what if someone’s hand is too big and they have trouble getting in and out?

Do you have any advice for someone who might be interested in entering the Vancouver comedy scene?

If you want to get into comedy, try it and be honest about it. Some people are good at comedy and never pursue it, and some people are bad at comedy and pursue it anyway. Just because you can do comedy doesn’t mean you should.

You can form a band that makes bad music, but that doesn’t mean you should be in a band. Try it, be honest with yourself, and if you think there’s something there, that you have the ability to look at something with a fresh perspective and you’re actually being funny, then yeah. Go for it. But don’t just dip your toe in and say, “Look at me! I’m a comedian! I’m doing it!” There are levels of progression and it’s a horrible journey, but it’s alright.

21

Hello, SFU students! Ready for your writing advice?

Recently, I received some fan mail! Basically, it read: “Joel, copy editing is a blast!

But you need to give your writing advice sooner in your article!”

First, writer, thank you for the yellow carbonless CFB letter. It’s been a while since I’ve seen this delectable stuff; it’s smooth but still holds a modest, satisfying crunch. Draped in the writing of blue gel pen, this letter had a soft, dampened centre, but proved delicate and light, holding hints of hickory and ash.

In response to your letter, I think you need to get your own column! Ha ha.

This week’s writing advice concerns using “were” or “was” in hypothetical situations, e.g.: “if I was/were a DJ, all the world would dance!”

In this situation, the proper word is “were.” Here’s some examples of properlyconstructed hypothetical sentences woven into one paragraph: If I were a DJ, I would be worried about the decaying state of DJ jobs. If I were a DJ, I would promote a world of listening. Electronic music is currently dominated by electronic music robots, so if I were able to be anything, I would be a real, human DJ. If I were able to spread my DJ love to the entire planet, were I a DJ, I would create a world where people don’t war . I would promote listening , not mindless robot watching. If I were a DJ, I would break the digital technology spell that is hypnotizing our generation.

Hypnotising our generation, SFU. Well, until next time: never put down your pen!

Best, Joel MacKenzie

22 HUMOUR

The unveiling of a new mental health initiative is driving one group at Simon Fraser University out of their mind: the MaleMen, a men’s rights activist group on campus, is protesting the new Friendship Bench, saying that it is too close to a physical entity of one of their group’s most combatted institutions — the “Friend Zone.”

“The Friend Zone is definitely a real issue for men and men-allies,” said Chad Anderson, president of the MaleMen. “With this new bench on campus, it encourages complete strangers to be friendly to each other, and then just walk away — unaware they’re supposed to continue the encounter with sex or at least a sloppy make out sesh.

“What’s the point of constantly being kind to people if they can just get off the bench and walk away from you? It’s a burden on real men trying to make a

It’s November, which means it’s the time of year for moustaches everywhere to start sprouting patchy humans on their upper hairs in hopes of raising awareness about slacktivism.

“Most people aren’t really that well-informed when it comes to slacktivism,” said Mikey

beneficial connection, with heavy emphasis on the benefits.”

Putting one in the “Friend Zone” is described by MaleMen’s website as mentally registering another person as only ever just being friends, often very good or best friends. MaleMen warns folks not to be enticed by how nice it can be to actually be friends with other people, as it doesn’t take into account the lack of tangible benefits having friends in your life has.

The MaleMen protested the opening of the Friendship Bench on October 28, handing out pamphlets with facts about meninism and chanting anti-bench sayings, some about what the bench stood for and others just denouncing benches entirely.

According to a press release from SFU, the yellow bench is meant to serve as a permanent symbol of mental health awareness and of SFU’s vision for a vibrant stigma-free community.

Peter Phillips, one of the protestors, is taking it one step farther; he has initiated a standing strike, in which he refuses to sit down again until the bench is removed from campus.

“I feel like my boys really need something they can rally behind, so I’m taking this bullet for the

McMikerson, a moustache who’s now in his fourth year of doing Movember. “Did you know: studies have shown that one in every six people will partake in some form of slacktivism in their lifetime? That’s a huge chunk of the population, and somehow it’s not a topic people are openly talking about yet.”

But what is slacktivism, and what are some of the warning signs people can learn to recognize, in order to protect their loved ones?

Slacktivism, or “phantom feels” as it’s commonly referred to, is the result of two different conditions occurring in one’s body.

The first is a buildup of internal tensions within a person’s heart, caused by the tugging on his or

November 9, 2015

team,” said Phillips. “It’s kind of difficult and awkward to go from standing to lying down without anything in the middle, but I feel as though I can inspire others to do the same until SFU responds.

“Imagine sliding into a dry Slip ‘N Slide, except it isn’t

her metaphorical heart strings.

The second, and the dangerous catalyst behind slacktivism, is the swelling of a person’s brain with the idea that the world won’t be right unless they specifically say something to make a difference.

When both conditions are present in an individual, the risk of slacktivism is extremely high.

“Facebook posts, overdone hashtags, vlogs, sharing links without giving any context or doing any research to look into factual accuracies: These are just a few of the things people need to watch for in their friends and family,” warns McMikerson. “If you notice a combination of these or even just one, slacktivism may already be an issue.”

very fun at all and it hurts most of the time. I and other MaleMen will subject ourselves to that constantly until our demands are heard and the bench is scrapped.”

An official from SFU was asked to comment on the

While there’s a fair bit of disagreement over when slacktivism began, a considerable amount of evidence can be linked to 1991, when the World Wide Web as we know it was first introduced to the public. Theorists suggest that this easy-to-use platform may have been what started the slacktivism movement.

Since its humble beginnings in Melbourne, Australia over 10 years ago, Movember has grown to be one of the most buzzed-about social movements of the decade. What started as friendly competition amongst friends to raise awareness of slacktivism has grown to impressive proportions: last year, over two million

actions of the MaleMen. However, upon hearing about the objections to a bench built around friendship, they threw their arms up in the air and exclaimed, “This is why we can’t have nice things!” before storming off.

moustaches were registered Movember participants.

However, Movember hasn’t been without its detractors: some critics have argued that the whole movement is a form of slacktivism on its own, giving the illusion that moustaches growing something along their upper lip is merely feeding into the cycle of not advocating for any real social change.

“That’s ridiculous,” retorted McMikerson, stroking his human defensively but proudly.

“Have you seen the human I’ve been growing on my face for Movember? It’s so greasy and looks terrible. How can something so tacky not make a big social change in the world? That just doesn’t seem possible.”

DIVERSIONS / ETC

November 9, 2015

23

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24 LAST WORD

Editor-in-Chief email

Max Hill eic@the-peak.ca

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

No, not Christmas, the NHL draft! It’s not until June, but I must confess that I love the NHL draft — so much so, it’s probably my favourite day of the whole NHL calendar. With most junior seasons already underway, draft eligible players are gearing up for more attention and more scrutiny, trying to stand out in a sea of players. That’s why it’s fun to see if we can pick out some players now who will be head and shoulders above the rest by the time the draft rolls around.

Plus, there’s something fun about trying to project how these players will do when they get to the NHL level, and it’s fascinating to see the different strategies teams have when it comes to drafting players.

This year’s class is a bit different from last year’s. It lacks the big name generational talent like a Connor McDavid, but there are still lots of quality players near the top of the rankings, especially big body wingers. Here are some players to look for this time around, and where they could end up going.

I’ll be looking at hockeyprospect.com’s top 30, ISS hockey’s top 30, Future Considerations’ top 30, and well as Bob McKenzie’s rankings to get a feel for where I think some of these players will go. And of course, I’ll be watching YouTube clips to make my own personal judgements.

November 9, 2015

The big name from this year’s draft class. If Matthews had been born just a couple of days earlier, he would have been drafted early on in the 2015 draft. The American took the unprecedented step this year of going to play professionally in Switzerland, forgoing NCAA hockey and the Everett Silvertips, the latter of whom held his CHL rights. So far, this move has paid off. He has 16 points in 14 games so far this year, and he’s playing against grown men. Barring a significant fall in play, he will go number one.

The consensus number two pick this year. American-born Chychrun is projected to be an impact defencemen, in fact Bob McKenzie says that he is “capable of being a complete number one blueliner.” He has an NHL caliber shot, and is an excellent skater. Only 17 years old and listed at 6’2”, 196 pounds, it’s not unreasonable that he could put on another 20 pounds of muscle and become a force in the NHL. With 10 points in 14 games to start the season with the Sarnia Sting, he is the best defenseman available in the draft.

As a 16-year-old in the last World Junion Champtionship, Puljujärvi held his own against players two and three years older than him. At 6’3” and 196 pounds, he is able to use his body effectively, and plays much like a North American player, rather than a European one. Playing for Kärpät in the Finnish SM Liiga, Puljujärvi scored nine points in 19 games playing against grown men like Matthews. He’ll go in the top five due to the combo of skill and size, but which place will depend on the need of the teams that takes him.

Another big Finnish winger who could go fairly high.

He doesn’t have the name recognition of Puljujärvi, but Laine has quietly put together a strong case for a top five spot. He’s scored seven points in 12 games so far in the Finnish SM Liiga, and had eight goals in seven games at the 2015 U18 world championship, a competition that has traditionally been an indicator of success in the NHL. His draft ranking will be determined by the upcoming World Juniors. If he has a good tournament, his place within the top five will be cemented. If not, then Laine could slip a bit down the draft board.

Let’s switch it up a bit and talk about a player a bit closer to home. Tyler Benson was drafted first overall by the Vancouver Giants in 2013, and big things were expected of him. After putting up 146 points in 33 games in his draft year, people thought it would be a matter of time before Benson translated those numbers into the WHL. That hasn’t been the case. Playing only 62 games last year, he put up 42 points, and this year is off to a slow start, with only two points in five games. Ranked anywhere from 13th to 22nd and not even mentioned by Bob McKenzie, he’s looking like a low first-round pick to me.

If you think the name sounds familiar, that’s because it probably is. Tkachuk is the son of former NHLer Keith Tkachuk, and just like his dad, Matthew uses his body very effectively to get to high scoring areas. So far with the London Knights the American has scored 24 points in 15 games, 19 of which were assists. Because of his last name, he gets the benefit of the doubt when it comes to rankings. Three of the four sites have him exactly at number five, so that seems like a fair place to put him.

Another son of an NHLer, Alex Nylander is an extremely highly skilled player. He’s got great hockey sense, but unlike his brother William who was drafted in the first round by the Maple Leafs, Alex is playing his draft year here in Canada with the Mississauga Steelheads. Playing in the OHL may help his draft stock rise, but the upcoming World Juniors is where he gets his chance to impress the scouts. With 21 points in 16 games so far, he is on track for a solid year, but may be passed over due to his size relative to the other players.

Jesse Puljujärvi

Jesse Puljujärvi