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A simple game with simple rules and a simple way of explaining them
Post-Graduation Blues
paycheque!adult
Rejected!Weregret toinformyouthatyou donotmeetthe5+ yearsofexperience requiredforthis entry-levelposition
Ask your phone’s internal robot voice
Use
Each square has an act that increases or decreases
or WB — sometimes both.
There’s
Faculty of arts and social sciences: Scribrain uses WRITING! It’s super effective — but it also takes away a huge chunk of their HP. The FASS Pokémon remains typeless — the faculty is just too huge for one classification! Their evolutionary future is uncertain, ranging from government workers to therapists, so choose your training-arc path well. Most of the time though, Scribrain can’t escape the multitude of training centers and battles — they fight a lot better with a Masters’, a PhD, and a lot of time and Pokémon Dollars spent.
Faculty of applied sciences: Laborynth is a tired Pokémon, probably the most trained and battle-weary on this list. While Laborynth possesses many abilities that will awe other Pokémon, their main ability is pulling all-nighters. It’s not a coincidence that they are Dark-type Pokémon; they need their caffeine for max HP to fight more battles, and to train and evolve. Due to repeated exposure to lab work, they are also immune to poisons. Train them well, collect all of them, and they will make good companions in your search for a new technology or a novel chemical compound.
Faculty of environment: a Fighting-type Pokémon, it uses its black belt powers to fight climate change. While Ground-type Pokémon use abilities like Sand Force to destroy their opponents, SFU’s Protecterra uses their innate knowledge of environmental issues — and their main ability of reconstruction — to help deal with disasters. To be fair, Environment Pokémon might also question the ethics of using Pokémon to fight human trainers’ battles.
Computing science: I know, I know. Computing science is not a faculty. I’m only writing a separate section on the Computer science Pokémon to reveal the fact that they are Grass-type. Why? In a twist of fate, by identifying Codegrass as a Grass-type, I have decided to advocate for the years-long cliché that comp sci students need to touch some grass. OK, I’m satisfied.
Faculty of education: Acadimyrtle is built on the foundation of striving for a better collective future in an increasingly strained environment. A typical Water-type Pokémon, Acadimyrtle is patient and kind. Not only that, their HP is the second strongest in the Pokémon universe, a necessary asset for any evolutionary pathway involving teaching or tutoring. Their main ability is patience, not only in battle, but also as they level up and evolve — the education evolutionary path is not for the weak.
Beedie School of Business: Always dressed in a stylish suit and tie, the main ability of Networkat is obviously networking. Thriving not in combat but in talking with others, handing in resumes, and posting on LinkedIn, the Beedie Pokémon’s your greatest companion when you’ve a group presentation. Don’t be fooled by their Colorless type — it’s adept at cherry picking personalities from other Pokémon during networking. Their HP are relatively low, but if you train your Networkat enough, it can evolve into an accountant, a consultant, or a banker!
Faculty of communications, arts, and technology: Evermore reliant on a fast internet connection and constant power, Digispark is an Electric-type Pokemon. This type of Pokémon is weak against fellow electric and grass types, perhaps an ironic reminder that in their drive to understand mass media, they forget to connect with the natural world. Digispark boasts a huge range of abilities and evolutionary paths — it all depends on the sub-types they choose to evolve into, ranging from arts to digital media.
Faculty of health sciences: Like all Psychic-type Pokémon, Healix was initially thought to be overpowered — not only can you get a bachelor’s degree in both arts and science, just look at the huge range of evolutionary opportunities available post-grad! Healix is effective against Dark-type Pokémon like those from the applied sciences. You know what they say, training a health science Pokemon every day keeps the medical students away!
