January 2015 by Peekaboo

Peekaboo January 2015

Free Magazine

Northwest Arkansasâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Family Magazine

Clinical skin Care

face 2 face thursday, January 22, 5-7pm

Special Event Pricing and Demonstrations

Call to RSVP | 479-571-3100

Swag Bags! Hourly Giveaways! Appetizers!

D. Heath Stacey, MD Board Certified Plastic Surgeon 137 Van Asche Loop, Fayetteville, AR | 479-571-3100

www.nwacenterforplasticsurgery.com

the PEEKABOO family Kimberly Enderle

Editor-in-Chief editor@peekaboonwa.com (479) 957-0532

Ava. Grant. and Holden. Jonathon Enderle

Creative Director jon@peekaboonwa.com (479) 586-3890

Distribution/ Circulation Joyce Whitaker Judy Evans Marcedalia Salinas Colleen Cook Jeremy Whitaker Michelle Dodson

Peekaboo Publications, PO Box 1036, Bentonville, Arkansas 72712 Peekaboo Northwest Arkansas accepts writing contributions. Please send inquiries to: editor@peekaboonwa.com or call (479) 586-3890 Peekaboo may not be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. Views expressed herein are those of the authors and advertisers, and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the magazine.

Peekaboo nwa W h at ’ s I n s i d e | JA N UA R Y | 2 0 1 5 14

Our Tin Man: Leighton Harper by: Laurie Harper

Helping KidsThrough Play: Sensory Playground

Lynn M.Davis, M.D. Joins Northwest Health System Staff

Making Healthy Choices to Prevent Birth Defects

Dad’s View with Ben Lacy

Southern Vintage Boutique

We Answered His Call by: Jennifer Taddis

January Calendar of Events

Harper’s Journey by: Kyle Gillespie

Homebrews and Home Life by: Frances Wilson

Someone Please Help Me Understand ADHD

Bringing Home Sylvie by: Jenny Marrs

The Period of Purple Crying

Rituals of Life by: Eba Lebens

Keeping Kids Active in Cold Weather by: Meredith Denton, M.D.

Confessions of a Cleft Mom by: Meg Meredith

Community Support Bolsters Grieving Family by: Janet Boxx

o n t h e c ov e r Skylar Ballay, 8 son of Chris & Meredith Ballay of Rogers. Taylor Bahn, 9 daughter of Michael& Tina Bahn of Springdale. Photo by: Jessica Ritchie Photography

10 January 2015

www.jessicaritchiephotography.com Skylar is a model for NcK Talent Academy. www.thenck.com

from the editor

elcome to 2015! Even though we are now 15 years into the 21st century, every new year still sounds like it is straight from a sci-fi movie.

When I was in elementary school in Siloam Springs (go Panthers!) we would collectively sing a chant at our assemblies: “I’m the class of ‘01, couldn’t be any prouder, if you can’t hear that, we’ll yell a little louder...” To a 6-year-old in 1989, our graduating year of 2001 seemed like forever away. Even to this day, every time we enter a new year I still think about how distant that milestonea seemed and how foreign it felt. I never thought 2001 would come, and now we are already at 2015! The part of each new year that I look forward to most is the anticipation of who we will meet, and the new friends we will make. Because this area is so easy to fall in love with, new families are always moving into the area and putting down roots, adding to its unique charm.

photo credit: Created For You Photography

Meeting these amazing people and hearing and sharing their stories is one of my favorite aspects of Peekaboo. But, once their story goes to print their tale is far from over. That is why each January we dedicate the issue to updating some of our favorites stories from past years. To kick off the new year, it is always best to look back to appreciate what is ahead. That is why the pages inside this issue are filled with continuations of some very inspiring stories. I can not wait to see who we will meet and what stories we will have the opportunity to share in 2015! Want to be a part of an upcoming issue of Peekaboo? A look ahead: We are working to get a head start on 2015 to make our 8th year the best yet! If you have a story to share or an idea for a story please email editor@peekaboonwa.com February - Happy Birthday Peekaboo and Happy Birthday to You! - This is the time to showcase all the great birthday party hot spots across NWA. February is also our issue to share exciting birth stories! March - Spotlight on non-profits. We would love to include a story by someone who has been touched by or the reason behind your organization. We want to continue to offer exposure, as well as give information and volunteering opportunities to the Peekaboo readers. Let us help inspire the Peekaboo readers by including a story of your nonprofit in our March 2015 issue.

12 January 2015

Our UPDATE:

Our Tinman

Leighton Harper

by: Laine Harper Photos by: Katie Cole Photography

He’s six, and he’s our miracle.

We never imagined we would raise a son with a heart transplant, or one with special needs, but, after everything we’ve been through together, we honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. On August 27, 2008, our lives were flipped upside down, sideways and every other way that you can imagine. Richard and I were brand new parents to the most precious blessing on earth, our 31-week-old preemie diagnosed with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS). We named him Leighton Clement Harper, and he began his life as our tinman… a little boy in need of a new heart. We found out at our 20-week ultrasound that Leighton had HLHS, a congenital heart defect that causes the left side of the heart to either not grow, or form incorrectly. Finding this out so early in my pregnancy was devastating, especially after we Googled stories about other HLHS kids. Story after story had a tragic ending--either that, or they were always followed by the dour phrase: “We have a long road ahead.” There were many days where I would sit and cry, wishing my baby was healthy. Since HLHS is genetic, there was nothing Rich and I could have done differently to cause a healthy outcome. All we knew was that we

14 January 2015

were in love with this boy from day one, and would do anything and everything in our power to make sure he grew up as happy and as healthy as possible. Leighton began his journey at UAMS in Little Rock, AR. It had been decided early on that he would be delivered there in order to be close to Arkansas Children’s Hospital. He was just a little too eager to enter the world, and I had to be transported by helicopter, already in labor, two months early. His life was at risk more than ever now--not only did we have a baby with half a heart, but a tiny preemie, too. Leighton was only 3 pounds and 9 ounces. No baby born with HLHS this early, this small had survived... Ever. My husband and I truly believe in miracles, so we fought for his life and decided to continue with medical intervention. For one amazing moment, we were able to touch his fingers in the incubator before they took him to ACH. He was intubated, and had all kinds of life support wired into him. He was a beautiful baby--just beautiful. We didn’t see his eyes for a few days, but when we did, they were blue as can be. His skin was flawless, his hair red. Despite the situation, I couldn’t help but feel an equally beautiful joy grow within me as I kissed his little forehead and played with his toes. The NICU was his home until his first heart surgery. His heart was the size of an acorn on that day. I remember running my fingers along his chest, knowing that this was the last time I would see him without a long incision scar. `The night before his surgery, his NICU nurses made footprints for me, and were very kind and respectful of our time with him. We had faith that he would make it through this surgery, but we couldn’t help remembering how we’d been told that he was the smallest to ever have this particular surgery, a Hybrid Norwood. This was the first step in a total of three surgeries planned to make his half of a heart function as much as possible. We knew there would be more surgeries ahead, along with the chance of a heart transplant. If you would have asked me on day 10 how long we would be at ACH, I would have answered only a couple of months, tops. In the end, however, our family spent a total of 210 days in Little Rock. Despite that, there was never one day that Leighton didn’t have a family member by his side. We lived in the CVICU for 200 days and moved rooms quite often. Leighton had many highs and lows, dozens of steps forward and steps back. He was on a ventilator to help him breathe for almost three months, and it took what seemed like forever to wean him off. They

diagnosed him with chronic lung disease. He was fed through a feeding tube in his nose, but eventually was given a ‘nissen,’ which is a feeding portal in his belly that goes directly to his stomach. The nissen was a procedure meant to help with his acid reflux issues. We were told that he would never be able to burp or throw up. Boy, were they wrong! As Leighton began to grow, the doctors began to discuss his second surgery, the Glenn. This surgery was to be a very invasive surgery where Leighton would be put on bypass while they operated on his heart. Leighton was sent to the cath lab, where the technicians would look, in detail, at his heart and see what his surgery would need to entail. Richard and I received the call as he was still in the cath lab that the right side of Leighton’s heart was too weak, and he was in need of a new heart. He was listed as a 1A on the waiting list. On February 5th, 2009, at 5 months old and after waiting only 5 days, Leighton received the greatest gift on earth: a heart. We were so blessed to have an angel with the perfect heart send this gift to our son. Without that perfect heart on that day, we might not have our son today. God’s timing was perfect. It was one of the hardest, yet most wonderful, days of our lives. As worried and scared as I was, my family helped give me peace. I never could have made it through the surgery without my husband by my side. He was as scared as I was, but always seemed cool and collected, which helped me be strong, too. We both cried as we took him to the operating room, and held each other through the whole surgery. Our friends and family were there for support, and I will never forget the sigh of relief the whole waiting room gave when we were told his heart was beating on its own. Leighton came home two months later. It’s amazing what a new heart did for him! I will never forget how many babies and children we met while at ACH who did not go home. I am reminded of how blessed we are to have such a great hospital in the state of Arkansas for heart issues every time I look at Leighton. We brought home an eight-month-old who was basically the size and maturity level of a newborn. He began his time at home taking 13 medications and, over the years, has come down to about six a day. Our home was prepared for him in many ways. We put in a hospital-grade air filtration system, pulled up all the carpet and replaced it with wood, and set apart three cabinets in the kitchen just for Leighton’s medications

Turn the page ...

and medical equipment. We also have the world’s largest supply of hand sanitizer. To this day, if you enter our home, you wash your hands. This rule has helped keep Leighton, and the rest of us, healthy.

have a wonderful public schools system, but it is not right for Leighton. Our other kids will attend public school, but Leighton will continue to stay home. After I work all day, I come home and shower first before interacting with Leighton to avoid the risk of spreading germs. We often forget that Leighton is “sick,” because we are so used to what we do on a daily basis for him to keep him safe.

Leighton has had very few health complications over the past few years, but, when he gets sick, it’s usually a pretty big deal. He had RSV when he was very young, and the only way we we were able to keep him out of the hospital was with daily doctor visits and, every hour on the hour for four days, checking to make sure his nose was clear. Leighton’s local doctor is wonderful. Dr. Youngblood at Mercy takes extra caution and really focuses on his health. Leighton had urinary reflux for one and a half years and was on a daily antibiotic. When he was taken off this antibiotic, he began his three-year journey with ‘C-diff,’ a bacteria which, in Leighton’s case, caused chronic diarrhea. After seeing multiple GI doctors and infectious disease specialists at ACH, we cleared it up, and C-diff hasn’t been back since. In 2011, Leighton’s team decided he needed his tonsils and adenoids taken out because they were oversized, making breathing difficult. Elective surgeries for transplant patients are not usually advised due to the risks, but this was an important surgery for him. While recovering from this surgery, Leighton aspirated belly acids and ended up with double pneumonia, back on the ventilator. This was our only other stay at ACH, but it was a grueling four-week battle for his lungs.

A typical day for Leighton begins at 8:00AM. Rich wakes him up, gets him dressed and gives him his morning medications through his feeding tube. He is fed Pediasure five times throughout the day through his tube, and he attends three hours of therapy at Imagine in Centerton two days a week. His time at Imagine includes speech, occupational therapy and physical therapy. He then comes home and begins more therapy. Leighton spends a total of 20 or more hours in in-home therapy. His therapy ends around 4:00 or 6:00PM each day. He loves each of this therapists, and always greets them with a high five and smile, and blows kisses to them when they leave. His Nana, also known as my mom, Linda, is his third caregiver during the week. She not only takes wonderful care of him, but is also the best Nana a family could ask for. Leighton’s favorite rewards at the end of the day are calling his papa on the phone, watching Ellen or Jimmy Fallon on his Ipad or, in the summer, going swimming. He loves music and navigating on the Ipad, so his therapists are working on an app to help him communicate better. Right now, he knows many words, but doesn’t speak in sentences. As his parents, we usually know what he wants when he asks, but we would love for his communication skills to improve. Leighton gets his evening medications around 9:00PM, and is fed his last meal around midnight, through his button while he sleeps. Throughout the day, we offer him food and sit down once or twice a day to have him eat orally. He also throws up about 10-15 times a day, something his doctors said he would never do. He did have a surgery to prevent this, but it only made it worse. This has just become another part of our normal day. Leighton is now sleeping in his own room through the night, and wakes up ready to start another day.

Our family has worked very hard to keep Leighton healthy and out of the hospital. First and foremost, we make sure that we are all up-to-date on our immunizations. Leighton gets all the dead virus immunizations, but is unable to get any of the live virus immunizations, which is tricky. Rich and I stay up-to-date on ours and anytime our other kids have to get a live virus vaccination, we have to have an incubation period. For example, when our daughter, Shea, received her rotavirus vaccination, we had to keep our kids away from each other for two full weeks. Needless to say, that was not a fun two-week stint at the Harper house. Leighton wears a mask any time he is in a doctor’s office or hospital. He is homeschooled and given home therapy. Of course, here in NWA we

Leighton now has a little sister, Shea, who is 11 months old, and by the time this article is printed, he will have a baby brother, Griffin. As parents of a child with a congenital heart defect, we knew there was a small chance that our other children would have heart issues, but our faith stepped in, and we knew we wanted a bigger family. At Shea’s 18-week ultrasound, we saw the most beautiful image: a four-chambered heart. Leighton has already grown to love his baby sister, and

We were so blessed to have an angel with the perfect heart send the gift to our son. He was sick, very sick. Without that perfect heart on that day, we may not have our son today. Gods timing was perfect.

learns from her everyday. They play together, cuddle and mock each other. It’s difficult and strange, getting used to having a healthy child. Things are so new and different. Leighton took his first steps when he was three years old after years of therapy, while Shea began walking and chasing Leighton at nine months. Leighton doesn’t love food in the least, and Shea is the complete opposite. It’s so crazy having a child that wants food! We’re happy to say that Griffin also has a full heart. We are excited to welcome him to the family and give Leighton another playmate. One day, Leighton will reject his heart, and he will need another transplant. One day, his kidneys may give out due to all of his anti-rejection medications, and he will need a transplant for them, too. One day, and soon I hope, we will get rid of his feeding tube and he will eat enough orally, and even enjoy it. Leighton will probably always live with us due to his special needs, but he is happy. All we can ask of him is to do his best, and all we can do for him is make sure he is healthy and happy. Many people make his life special every day, from our family and friends, to his therapists and favorite babysitters. We never take a single day with him for granted and he has taught us to do the same with all of our family members. Our tinman has taught us so much... Life is precious. Believe in miracles. Love your family with all your heart, and... become an organ donor.

y la P h g u o r h t s id K g in lp e H senso ate by: a parent passion needs ec for children with sp ial “Every parent longs for the best for their child.

Before my son was born, I read books, planned the perfect room, found a doctor, bought educational toys and books…everything an expecting mom does to prepare for her baby’s arrival. It’s all very exciting and, upon birth, my excitement only grew. My son flourished and met all of his milestones months before many other babies his age. By one year, he knew ten words and was putting words together. Then, in a tragic and incredibly rapid turn of events, he got sick with RSV and pneumonia. After that, he lost his language skills and began to withdraw. Since I was a teacher, I knew I needed to start an early intervention to help draw him out of this dark period. I talked to our doctor about a referral for therapy, and that’s when we found Imagine Pediatric Therapies. Therapy has changed our lives; it has given my son a voice and helped him learn how to adapt to his needs.” Imagine Pediatric Therapies has been serving the Northwest Arkansas community for the past seven years. In this short time, Imagine has helped over a thousand children grow and adapt to having special needs. Imagine will soon be expanding into a new facility in Bentonville which will allow them to help even more special

18 January 2015

ry playground

needs children. The new building will have more square footage, a parking lot that can be expanded to add more handicap spaces, as well as outdoor space to add special treatment areas such as a sensory playground. Sensory play involves various activities that help to stimulate and develop a child’s behavior based on what they see, hear, touch, taste, and smell, and, in doing so, it contributes to how they move and position their bodies in space. The more children engage using their senses, the better they are able to make sense of the world around them and their relationship to it. What better place to engage in sensory play than a sensory playground? “Imagines’ sensory playground is going to make a huge impact on both my son and other children who, like him, struggle with sensory processing disorder and other special needs. Not knowing how to receive messages through senses creates challenges in everyday tasks. It can create motor delays, anxiety, and behavior problems. The sensory playground will give him and others the opportunity to play while learning how to respond to information taken in through their senses.” A sensory playground will benefit special needs children at Imagine in many ways. Children will work on increasing self-esteem and problem solving skills as they overcome challenges such as climbing the steps to the top of the sliding board or learning to climb onto the spring riders. They will increase their self-control by engaging in sensorystimulating activities like riding a teeter totter with a friend or swinging. These types of activities help children calm themselves and organize their thoughts, which in turn helps them manage their feelings and behaviors. Making friends is a challenge most children with special needs face, but sharing a common play space will help them develop friendships as they learn to transition from independent play to engaging with others. The playground is being designed by ARKOMA Landscape St Playgrounds and Supplies out of Fayetteville, Arkansas. They have built two other special needs sensory playgrounds within Arkansas, the closest one being in Little Rock. The design will include a triple deck play station with climbing and crawling obstacles, a large swing set with

two traditional swings, two adaptive swings and a wheelchair swing, slides of varying heights, a roller slide, and movement activities such as teeter totters and spring riders along with climbing activities including a rock wall, mushrooms, and a dome. The obstacles on the playground will help children with movement as they plan, organize, carry out unfamiliar sequences, and realize problems and solutions. These

parents’ night out. You, too, can be a part of helping special needs children in NWA by joining Imagine’s fundraising efforts. “The other day someone asked me why I am so passionate about my kid’s therapy center. I told them that Imagine got my son’s voice back and helped him learn how to communicate his needs. I will forever be passionate about the incredible therapists who have made a difference in my child.” If you would like to become involved by volunteering, donating items, or by monetary donations please call Imagine at 479-795-1260. Or you can donate online at www.gofundme.com/enbbz8

obstacles will also provide deep pressure that will help calm an anxious or upset child and further their emotional development. The swing set will be extremely beneficial to the sensory playground, as swinging encompasses many therapeutic elements such as improving balance, core strengthening, and body positioning. Children with physical disabilities will be able to enjoy these benefits as well by having access to wheelchair and adaptive swings. The slides will provide children with a safe way of exploring movement and speed. Sliding downward provides movement, while the hard surface provides deep pressure. Different types of slides help children develop muscle tone and cognitive skills such as problem solving. The movement and climbing activities will help children stay calm and focused. They will also help to improve balance, core strength, reflexes, motor planning, and coordination. While doing these activities, children will work on muscle toning as well as both fine and gross motor skills. The cost of the sensory playground is estimated at $100,000. Imagine Pediatric Therapies has continued to host fundraisers such as “spirit nights” at local restaurants, a fall festival, bake sale, vendor fair, and

Lynn M. Davis, M.D., Board Certified Internal Medicine and Pediatric Physician Joins Northwest Health System Staff Lynn M. Davis, M.D., board certified in internal medicine and pediatrics, recently joined the active medical staff of Northwest Health System, practicing at Northwest Primary Care Springdale. “We are pleased that Dr. Davis is bringing her medical expertise to our organization,” said Sharif Omar, CEO of Northwest Health System. “We are committed to providing the community of northwest Arkansas access to quality healthcare which includes providers in key specialty areas.”

Dr. Davis is dedicated to helping adults and children ages 2 and up maintain good health for life. Her services include preventive care and wellness visits, acute care visits, chronic medical conditions, coordination of care with specialists for patients with complex medical conditions and assisting patients in difficult transition-of-care periods. She received her medical education at University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences in Little Rock and completed an Internal Medicine and Pediatric residency at University of Tennessee Health Science Center in Memphis, Tennessee. Northwest Primary Care - Springdale is located at 3409 Elm Springs Road in Springdale, and Dr. Davis is currently accepting new patients. For more information, call (479) 927-2100 or visit www.nw-physicians.com.

Making Healthy Choices to Prevent Birth Defects Make a PACT for Prevention Birth Defects are Common, Costly, and Critical. Every 4 ½ minutes, a baby is born in the United States with a birth defect. January is National Birth Defects Prevention month and the theme for 2015 is “Making Healthy Choices to Prevent Birth Defects.” You can help, by making a PACT for Prevention.

Plan ahead Avoid harmful substances Choose a healthy lifestyle Talk to your doctor PLAN AHEAD It’s never too early to start getting ready for pregnancy! Get as healthy as possible before becoming pregnant. Pre-conception health refers to the health of women and men during their reproductive years and is different for each person. Take steps now to protect the health of a baby you may have in the future. Women of childbearing age should get 400 micrograms (mcg) of folic acid every day. Folic Acid is a B vitamin that can help prevent major birth defects. To obtain this, take a vitamin daily with folic acid in it, eat foods with folic acid (like breakfast cereal), and eat a diet rich in natural folate, like leafy green vegetables, beans, and peanuts. Get a medical checkup before pregnancy and address specific health issues, including weight control and diabetes detection. Discuss any medications, both overthe-counter and prescription, and make sure you are taking only those that are necessary.

Make a reproductive life plan and think about your goals for school, your job or career, and for other important things in your life. Then, think about how having children fits in with these goals.

AVOID HARMFUL SUBSTANCES Nearly half of pregnancies are unplanned. If you do unexpectedly get pregnant, you might expose your baby to harmful substances before you realize you are pregnant. Certain substances, including alcohol, tobacco, and drugs, can increase the risk for some types of birth defects. If you are pregnant or thinking about becoming pregnant, avoiding these exposures before and during pregnancy can help increase your chances for a healthy baby. All types of alcohol are equally harmful. Drinking alcohol while pregnant can cause miscarriages and stillbirths, as well as physical, behavioral, and intellectual disabilities. Avoid smoking cigarettes or using “street” drugs during pregnancy. Women who smoke during pregnancy place themselves and their unborn babies at risk for health problems and birth defects. The use of illegal or “street” drugs during pregnancy can cause a baby to be born prematurely and have a low birth weight, suffer drug withdrawals, or have other health problems. Quitting smoking before getting pregnant or as early as possible is best.

Avoid workplace hazards If your job involves some hazards, there are things you can do to protect yourself. Ask questions about protection from hazards in your workplace, and talk to your doctor to learn how to avoid bringing hazards home. Exposure to fumes or toxic metals can affect

reproductive health, the ability to become pregnant, and the health of your unborn baby.

CHOOSE A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE Adopt healthy habits. Getting healthier involves taking steps such as eating a healthy diet, maintaining a healthy weight, addressing chronic health conditions, and maintaining mental health. Your diet should include fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and low fat dairy and lean proteins. People who are overweight or obese have a higher risk for many serious conditions, including having a child with a birth defect. Maintaining a healthy weight requires a lifestyle that includes healthy eating and

we cope with life. Untreated depression can increase the risk of pre- and post-pregnancy complications. If you are worried about the way you have been feeling, it is important to tell a doctor about your concerns to determine if you have depression and to find the right treatment. Infections a woman can get during pregnancy can be harmful to her unborn baby and can cause birth defects. To protect yourself against infections, talk to your doctor about vaccinations, wash your hands often with soap and water, and get tested for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR Whether you are planning to get pregnant or not, talk to your doctor about reproductive and preconception health care, as well as family medical history. Discuss all medications, both prescription and over-thecounter, and talk about your family history. Taking certain medications before or during pregnancy might cause serious birth defects. The effects depend on how much medication is taken, when the medication is taken during pregnancy, other health conditions, and other medications a woman takes. Do not stop or start taking any type of medication you need without first talking with a doctor.

regular physical activity. Get at least 2 hours and 30 minutes per week of moderate aerobic activity, such as brisk walking, before and during pregnancy. Poor control of diabetes during pregnancy increases the chance for birth defects. Many women with diabetes are unaware they have it. If you have diabetes and want to get pregnant, it is important for you to keep your blood sugar in control. If you have never been tested, talk to your doctor. Mental health is how we think, feel, and act as

Not all birth defects can be prevented; however, all women, including teens, can lower their risk of having a baby born with a birth defect by following these basic health guidelines throughout their reproductive years. Children are our future and every baby deserves the best possible start for a healthy, productive, and happy life. Therefore, letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s make a PACT for prevention! VitaminForLife.org http://vitaminforlife.org

www.peekaboonwa.com

w e i V s ’ d Da s

e v i t c e r Di

few years ago a local church had a complete lapse in judgment and a tad bit of misguided faith in allowing me the opportunity to teach a 4th Grade Sunday School Class - even though Theology wasn’t and isn’t my strong point. Actually, now that I think about it...I’m not exactly sure But, this time I will offer some solid and sound what my strong point is. Maybe opening spaghetti suggestions. Since the New Year is upon us sauce jars? Speed-demon typing? Obsessive garage I’m giving you not so much resolutions, but 10 cleaning? Anyhow, to help the students (and I) learn Dad’s View directives: and remember the 10 Commandments, I threw in some non-commandment verses 1. Always make a purchase at a kid’s Lemonade Stand as well as some just general good and pay double the asking price. ideas to see if they could readily 2. Never lose sight of the bag of Halloween candy. identify the “Big Ten.” You know, 3. Investigate silence as it doesn’t mean peace, it things like “Do unto others as means pandemonium. you would have them do unto you” or, “If you can’t say anything 4. Let your kid walk it off. nice, don’t say anything at all.” 5. Don’t reward with food. Both are great verses, of course, 6. Coach a team at least once. You’ll find out your kids but neither is a commandment. aren’t as bad or goofy as you think they are and Again, they didn’t make the you’ll find out you have been a really bad fan. Top 10 list, but both are good 7. Ask your kids to say grace…and be amazed. thoughts. 8. Don’t say don’t, instead say instead. Before we get to the good stuff, 9. Teach your kids how to swim. a disclaimer—the name of this 10. Love their mom. monthly piece is “Dad’s VIEW.” I mention that because a few people have approached me recently and said, “Hey, Like I said, this is a Dad’s “View,” and usually I took your advice and let my kid ride in the back I would warn you to follow my foolishness at of my truck down I-49 the other day during rush your own folly. But, this time, I’m pretty sure hour!” (Dad’s View - August 2014) or “Like you said, these are all a-ok advice. I let my kids play Xbox for 6 hours straight while Not like when I told you geometry and history eating an entire bag of Chips Ahoy!” (Dad’s View were pointless (Dad’s View – April 2013) or - April 2014). Technically, those weren’t examples to never go on a family vacation (Dad’s View of actual advice—more like inappropriate and – September 2013, Dad’s View – March 2014, mostly ignorant suggestions. Wait, checking with Dad’s View – September 2014...whoops!), or my attorney…is that what I was supposed to say? don’t read parenting books (Dad’s View – 2013 Anyway, all jokes aside, I’m only here to give you my October), or math doesn’t work (Dad’s View – view on kid chaos and provide some background 2014 January). from experiences I have encountered. I’m just a clueless dad like the rest of you, making it up as I Looking back, I’ve directed you on some pretty go along, and documenting the disarray. Take my crazy courses, but again, this month’s Top 10 advice with a grain of salt (and perhaps a lime and a directives shouldn’t get you in much of a mess. Pay special close attention to #10, as it is last, shot of tequila). but not least. More on that next month.

26 January 2015

New Store Hours:

Thursday - 11am-6pm Friday - 11am-6pm Saturday - 10am-5pm

Meet The women behind Southern Vintage

y mom started collecting vintage costume jewelry in 2003. She loved the thrill of the hunt even more than wearing it herself. She has a huge collection of costume jewelry research books and she’s very up on the brands, materials and history. Every time I would go visit her, I would come back with a tray of sparkly, shiny, chunky baubles to wear, with 1950’s-60’s multi-strand beads being my favorite. During a visit in 2012, I told her that we needed to open a shop because she could not possibly wear or sell all that she had amassed in a lifetime! We started thinking about it and it became a reality.

We really wanted to be downtown and we love our small shop off the Bentonville Square. Southern Vintage has been open almost two years! In addition to store hours, we host private sip and shops, styling and layering parties and occasional fundraisers where we give a portion of sales back to the chosen charity of the organizer. We are so grateful to be a part of this wonderful community. We love to help people find unique jewelry at an affordable price that they will enjoy and love to wear. It’s also great to mix modern and vintage jewelry to create a personal look. “New” jewelry is added weekly and since it’s vintage and we only have one of them, some pieces go fast! - Karey Marrs

We Answered HIS call An Updat e

ur world changed 6 ½ months ago. Though, wow... in some ways it seems like so much longer than that. Then, in other ways, it seems like it just happened. Six and a half months ago my husband and I, along with our oldest son, Luke, flew to Haiti to bring our other son, Welly, home! It was a whirlwind trip, but one that we will remember every detail of for years to come. We had been pursuing adoption in Haiti for 4 years prior to bringing Welly home. My husband Lance is a doctor, and nine days after the earthquake in January of 2010, he was on ground in Haiti to help with disaster relief. He returned again in May and November of that same year. I went with him on those two trips. We absolutely fell in love with Haiti. Adoption was something we had discussed since before we were married, and that year God confirmed His calling to us that we had a son in Haiti. We spent the next four years working to find him and then bring him home. We were so blessed that our son, Luke, was able to come with us to bring his brother home. Luke had prayed for a brother since he was four years old, and for him to be a part of the entire process of bringing him home was an awesome experience for both him and Welly. As parents, Lance and I were beside ourselves to see two brothers who had prayed for each other meet for the first time and hit it off immediately! Luke and Welly share a room, and we knew that they

30 January 2015

by: Jennifer Faddis

will have conversations at night in their bunk beds that Lance and I will never know about. The fact that Luke got to see Welly’s home country will help their bonding and those conversations in the years to come. It was a priceless thing, to witness one brother showing another brother his world. I was so proud of both of them. We were only in Haiti for a long weekend before heading home with Welly. We also have three daughters: Sara, Hope, and Emma. They had only talked with Welly a few times on the phone, and I was so ready to get home so they could finally meet the brother they had prayed for and we could continue our lives as a complete family of seven. The airport was a blur. I don’t know that I have ever been so overwhelmed. We had t-shirts made for our family, so that we could all be wearing the same thing at the airport when we brought Welly home. When some friends found out about them, they organized ordering all of our friends and extended family t-shirts, and there were about 50 people wearing matching shirts at the airport when we arrived. It was such an amazing show of love and support for our family. Welly’s eyes and smile when he got to the top of the escalator at XNA and was able to look down at a sea of friends and family that were there for him was one I will remember forever. We are definitely in the growing pains of learning our new family dynamics. Adoption isn’t easy. It’s beautiful. It’s redemptive. It’s a privilege. It’s messy.

13 --- November 20

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard. Adoption is not Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s original plan for a family. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s His redemptive plan. We live in a fallen world affected by sin. God never intended children not to be raised by their birth families. But, in this sinful world, adoption is a necessity for many children who are left without a family for whatever the reason. We are forever grateful and blessed that He called us to be an adoptive family. I cannot begin to explain to you the love I have for all five of my children. Each one for who they are, and who God is preparing them to be. He has given Lance and I the privilege of raising each of them to love and worship Him. It is an awesome responsibility that scares me at times and humbles me always. I have been amazed by all five of my kids as they have navigated this hard road of becoming a family. My biological children have risen to the occasion of welcoming someone into their family that they never knew before, seeing him as a brother, not someone who is staying with us for a while. My biological children are 12, 10, 8, and 6. They have showed maturity beyond their years in how they have adapted

-- story continued next page --

to a new member of the family. It has been so humbling to watch them cheer him on in all the new experiences he has embraced, and to love on him during the hard times of adjustment. And Welly, sweet Welly. I cannot begin to imagine what has gone on in his heart and mind as left his home, country, friends, familiar foods, language, and everything that he has ever known and moved to a new country with a new family, walking into a whole new life. I don’t know that I would have handled it as well as he has. He has such an adventurous spirit, one that is contagious, and such a passion to learn all that is around him. The questions. Oh, the questions! Imagine the questions of a curious two-year-old about this new world, coming from a twelve-year-old! You can pacify a two-year-old with a pat answer, but that’s not so easy with a twelve-year-old. He is so inquisitive--which I love! He truly has a love for learning that has been so evident to his teachers. He attends public school, and I have been so proud of how well he has done in school. Once again, I can’t imagine the fear I would have felt being dropped off in a building full of people I did not know, in a country that was unfamiliar. But he has absolutely shined! I could not be a prouder momma! Everyone knows Welly! He has made friends, his teachers love him, and the staff knows him. I just couldn’t be prouder. It’s been six months full of firsts. The first plane flight. The first time to see carpet. First escalator. First bike. First time on a horse. First time fishing. First time swimming. First time on a boat. First amusement park. First school backpack. First new tennis shoes. First movie theatre. First time camping. First deer hunt. First time wearing a coat. First birthday party with family. First snow! And there are still so many to come. He’s been home long enough that it feels like he’s been here forever. I forget, until he asks me what the shiny stuff on the ground is, that he’s never seen frost, and I’m reminded that this is all still so very new for all of us.

We Answered HIS call An Updat e It’s been a wild, amazing ride so far. One that has seen every emotion on the books. But through it all, God has been faithful. He is restoring the heart of a young man that has seen so very much hurt. He is teaching four young kids what it means to love. He is reminding two parents that His grace is sufficient. Our family may look different than most, but our family is a picture of God’s family. One that is made up of sacrifice, love and commitment. We are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but when you look at my family, I hope you see a picture of a God that loved us so very much that He went through a lot of pain and sacrifice to show that love, and to make us a part of His family.

January CALENDAR

2015

Weekly Activities: monday: Little Gigggles Every Monday 10:30AM Enrichment Monday Class Free with admission: Ages 2+ Monthly themes and weekly subjects explored in an interactive, play-based learning environment.

tuesday: Little Giggles Every Tuesday 10:30AM and 3:45PM: “Little Artist” art class with Crafty Cottage $8 for the class, discounted entry into Little Giggles if you stay to play, $5.50 (+tax)A fun 45 minutes with 2-3 art projects completed, taught by Miss Gigi

wednesday: Preschool Art Class » Habitats Crystal Bridges 1-2:15pm Wednesdays, January 7, 14, 21 (For ages 3 to 5 with an adult.) Parents or caregivers participate with their preschoolers in gallery conversations and art-making activities each week to explore human and animal habitats in select artworks from State of the Art: Discovering American Art Now. Session includes three consecutive Wednesday classes. All materials are provided. $30 (24 for members), register online or by calling Guest Services at 479.657.2335.

thursday: Storytime Fun - Siloam Springs Public Library 11:00 AM – 12:00 PM Preschool Program – Storytime with Ms. Laura

friday: Little Giggles Fridays (new!!!) Music with Ms. Megan!! 10:30am Free with admission!!! Singing, dance party and instrumental exploration!

saturday: Storytime at Barnes and Noble, Rogers and Fayetteville 11:00 AM

Library storytimes: Bentonville Public Library: bentonvillelibrary.org Fayetteville Public Library: faylib.org Springdale Public Library: springdalelibrary.org Rogers Public Library: rogerspubliclibrary.org

Special Events: Friday

Winter Break Wonders: Winter Animals Crystal Bridges 1-4pm Make your own winter animal to help you snuggle up and stay warm! Free, no registration required. Family Movie: Dolphin Tale 2 (Rated PG) 2:00PM at Fayetteville Public Library

Saturday

Drop-In Art Making: Winter Animals Crystal Bridges 1-4pm Make your own winter animal to help you snuggle up and stay warm. Free, no registration required.

Sunday

Winter Break Wonders » Itty Bitty Igloos Crystal Bridges 1-4pm Create an itty bitty igloo sculpture using everyday materials. Free, no registration required.

Wednesday

| 7

Aloha Mindmath, Reading and Writing Grand Opening 10am alohamindmath.com/bentonville 100 SW 14th Street,Suite 2, Bentonville

Thursday

Preschool Playdate: Cozy Crystal Bridges 11:30 am - 2:00 pm Monthly Preschool Playdates feature performances, art projects, story time, and creative play based on themes from our collection. Activities are geared for children ages 2 to 5 with an adult, and begin with a live performance by Shaky Bugs at 11:30 a.m. Free.

Saturday

| 10

Cabin Fever Reliever Shiloh Museum of Ozark History,118 W. Johnson Ave, Springdale www.shilohmuseum.org 10 a.m.-2 p.m. The Shiloh Museum’s annual celebration of the New Year, featuring local collectors and their collections. Free

Saturday

Ballroom with a Twist Walton Arts Center 2pm and 8pm An unforgettable Night Out featuring favorite reality TV stars from “Dancing with the Stars,” “American Idol” and “So You Think You Can Dance” — ballroom dancing never looked so hot! www.waltonartscenter.org Wonders of Winter Wildlife Hobbs State Park Conservation Area, Rogers, AR 72756 Celebrate the Wonders of Winter Wildlife at Hobbs State ParkConservation Area! Cure your cabin fever with this spectacular winter event! Activities and crafts for the whole family will be going on throughout the day! Free.

Tuesday

Slava’s Snowshow Walton Arts Center, 495 W. Dickson St., Fayetteville www.waltonartscenter.org A fusion of traditional and contemporary theatrical clowning arts that brilliantly creates a world of wonderment and fantasy, transporting you to a joyous dreamlike world that will leave you y ankle-deep in snow!

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Kids Yoga with Jennifer Creel (ages 2-8 with parent) Fayetteville Public Library 10:30am TerraFit YogiKids introduces children to fitness and movement through 30 minute fun yoga flows. Each class has an engaging nature theme and a short relaxation to help youngsters learn to quiet their minds and enjoy a lifetime of health and wellness. Please brings your own mats!

Saturday

| 24

Teddy Bear Clinic with MedExpress Fayetteville Public Library 10:30am Play it Forward Concert Series at The Walmart Museum 6:30 pm - 7:30 pm Enjoy the soulful jazz of Fayetteville native, Claudia Burson. Tickets are $5 with proceeds benefiting the Northwest Arkansas Jazz Society. Doors open at 6. Ticket can be purchased in advance.

www.peekaboonwa.com

A Free K-8 Public Charter School

Opening August, 2015 in Downtown Springdale

First Year Capacity: 120 seats Lottery Application Deadline: April 10, 2015, midnight Lottery Event: April 23, 2015, 6:00 p.m. • • • • • • • • •

American Montessori Society Member School Open to any Arkansas child entering grades K-6 Child-centered philosophy Hands-on, one-on-one instructional model Mixed-age classes Foreign language instruction Practical living skills including gardening & food preparation STEAM projects (science, technology, engineering, arts, math) Social skills development

Public Information Meeting:

January 13, 7:00 p.m. at the Jones Center Chapel 922 E. Emma Ave., Springdale

www.ozarkcca.org Or, contact for an appointment: phone: (479) 935-9992 | email: ozarkcca@gmail.com

Our UPDATE:

Harper’s Journey

story by: Kyla Gillespie photos by: MJW Photography

Harper’s journey began on September 27, 2010, the day she was born and was in immediate respiratory distress. The next day she was air lifted to the Arkansas Children’s Hospital NICU in Little Rock where she would spend the next four months. At a mere two months old, Harper had a tracheostomy, and, at three months old, she received her gastric feeding tube. On January 11, 2011, Harper was discharged from the NICU and headed home to begin her journey through life... and what a journey it continues to be!

August 2, 2013 was almost a month from Harper’s 3rd birthday. She was going in for an “elective airway reconstruction procedure.” We had discussed it for months, and we felt this was the only chance left at giving Harper a trach-free life. It was an exciting day, but a lot of anxiety was in the air as I waited for the three hour long procedure to end. My heart pounded as they took her back to the operating room. The surgery, thank goodness, was a success, and we settled into the PICU (Pediatric Intensive Care Unit) for the next few days while she recovered. Aside from the stitches and bloody dressings, Harper’s little trachfree neck was beautiful. For the first time I heard the

40 January 2015

loudest, most beautiful cry despite the fact it was due to her being in a lot of pain. To keep her calm that first night, I sat in a rocking chair and held her until five in the morning. The little snores and whimpers I had missed out on for two and half years were all I needed to keep me awake; however, those sounds were short lived. Harper couldn’t maintain her oxygen and carbon dioxide levels a full twenty-four hours and was intubated the following day. All of a sudden, I was reliving our NICU days. The only difference this time was the doctors discovered pneumothoraxes-air trapped between the outer part of both lungs and the chest wall--so they had to insert right and left chest tubes to help release the air. It was a devastating setback, but we were hopeful this might be the cause for her needing to be intubated. A couple of days later, the X-rays were clear and the chest tubes were removed. We were certain removing her from the ventilator this time would be successful. She did well but only for about fourteen hours. Once again, her little body just couldn’t maintain her oxygen and carbon dioxide levels. She was re-intubated, and doctors decided to take her back to the operating room to scope out her airway, looking for any scar tissue that might be blocking it. I could not believe this was happening again. They couldn’t find anything. The surgery site was healed, and her airway was bigger and more open than ever. It was good news but didn’t offer an explanation for her inability to breathe on her own. It had been a week since the reconstruction. She had another two days to rest and then doctors tried to extubate once again, giving her one more opportunity to breathe on her own. It was day nine in the PICU and she made it seventeen hours breathing on her own, but...then her oxygen levels dropped, she was in respiratory distress, and was re-intubated one last time. ENT came the next morning, and, after speaking to them, we came to the agreement to re-trach her. My baby girl’s neck wasn’t going to be bare anymore, but our hope this time was with a bigger, more open airway she would be able to make sounds. I was at peace with the decision. Harper has had a trach her entire life, so she wouldn’t know the difference, and I was okay with that. Her second tracheostomy was scheduled for the next day...or, that was the plan, anyway, until Harper began to develop a fever. This was the beginning of my new nightmare. It was day ten post-surgery, and Harper’s fever began to spike. Her heart rate steadily increased, and she was showing signs of increased pain and agitation. Doctors could not explain the sudden decrease in her health. After all, she was on antibiotics to prevent any possible infections post-surgery. In fact, this was the last day for those medications. Doctors suspected infection but weren’t sure of

Turn the page ...

Come play with us! Learning begins with play. Little Giggles is an indoor playground providing a safe environment fostering educative, creative play for young children.

Loved by children and enjoyable fo parents, too! r

Party Packages A(c vailable! all for details) Babriees a ! F(0-8RmEE s) h t on Monday - Friday 9:30am - 5:30pm Saturday and Sunday Open Play Hours vary Please call ahead to see what our open play times are!

3301 South Walton Boulevard Bentonville

479-268-4949

www.littlegigglesplay.com

UPDATE: Harper’s Journey: Judging by her delayed response, I knew we needed to pray. The three antibiotics they had started her on were all capable of fighting C-Diff, but, after looking at the most recent abdominal X-ray, doctors found a small tear in her intestine that could potentially leak and cause her to become septic. The ACH Surgery Team was called in immediately to look over the X-ray. It was bad. They briefed us on possible scenarios but couldn’t predict an outcome until they were actually in there to see what was actually going on. With that said, Harper was being prepped for emergency surgery. I was numb. The three-hour procedure was an agonizing wait. However, I was surprisingly calm; perhaps because it was all so surreal. I hadn’t fully processed what was happening, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to until I had spoken to the surgeons to find out exactly what they had seen during the procedure. Then, there they were, headed toward us in the waiting room to let us know how it went. I never expected to hear them say the source, so, as a precaution, they put her on three her entire colon was “dead” and they’d had to remove more highly potent antibiotics that would fight any it. To let the small intestine heal from the infection, and all possible infections. Blood and stool samples they had to perform an ileostomy, which is a surgery were taken and immediately sent off to the lab. Some wherein the small intestine is brought to the surface of results immediately came back negative, and others the skin and any waste that passes through is collected we would have to wait hours, even a in a colostomy bag. I had heard full day for results. While we waited, of this but had never seen one. her condition continued to deteriorate. When I finally got back up to the The l i t tl e snores and whi m pers As she continued to have a low grade PICU to see her, I broke down. I had missed out on for two fever with an increasingly high heart I never wanted this for her. rate, new symptoms began to surface. About that time, the lead PICU and half years were all I needed Her belly began to swell and her blood doctor, who wasn’t working that to keep me awake; however, pressure was dropping rapidly. She day, had made a special trip to was immediately put on blood pressure those sounds were short lived. check on Harper after surgery... medication to try and help stabilize and he also broke down, right it. At this point, her trach procedure beside me. It was the first time was put on hold, and, as doctors continued to try I had ever seen a doctor in tears. I remember him and diagnose what Harper’s little body was battling, saying to me, “I always get kids that are sick. I rarely I began to question my decision for her to have the see them get sicker while they are here. This has been airway reconstruction. We came in to have her trach tough to take, and I am so sorry,” and he hugged me. removed; instead, I slowly watched them add chest It was in that moment that I knew God had placed tubes, numerous IV drips, arterial lines in her chest us there, at this time, with those doctors for a reason. and groin to monitor her blood pressure accurately, Had we been home when she developed this infection, and a Band-Aid-like strip was taped to her forehead to she probably wouldn’t be here with us today. Three monitor pain. I was heartbroken. Finally, the wait was weeks later, I had learned how to care for and change over and the call from the lab came in. C. difficile: a a colostomy bag, Harper’s feeds were back to being type of bacteria we all carry in our colon which doesn’t somewhat normal, and we were being discharged. always present itself. It has the ability to attack after What was supposed to be a ten day recovery period a course of antibiotics, causing the colon to become for an elected procedure had turned into a little over a inflamed and raw patches of tissue to form and bleed month long hospital stay, but we were finally headed or produce pus. Doctors knew exactly what it was home. and were shocked. This doesn’t typically happen to a patient her age in this type of setting. I, on the other Now here we are, a year and five months later, and you hand, had no clue what this was or what to expect, so would never know the journey Harper has been on or I called my sister who is a nurse to ask her about it. all she has been through in her four years of life. Her

ileostomy has since been taken down which means the doctors were able to reconnect her small intestine to her rectum, allowing waste to exit her body the way it should. The only difference now is she doesn’t have her colon, is on daily sodium and fiber supplements, and has symptoms similar to someone with a spastic colon or colitis. As much as I questioned myself for allowing the airway reconstruction procedure back in August of 2013, I would not change my decision today, because it gave Harper a true voice. That’s right, even as she still has her trach, Harper’s airway is big enough now that she can pass air up around the trach and to the vocal chords so she can finally talk! That voice we wanted to hear so badly, for so long, is in full effect these days. In fact, there are times I catch myself saying “Shh, you’re too loud, Harper!” and I think, “Am I really telling Harper to be quiet?” Last month we had a scope donw and found the Malacia is pretty much non-existent. Her airway is strong and her left side bronchomalacia has improved greatly. We will continue encouraging the use of her trach cap (the cap completely closes off her trach and only allows for upper airway, mouth and nose breathing). We will also begin brief trials of using the cap at night while she is sleeping; only for an hour or two, not all night. If progress is still evident, then they will do one more scope in the spring (March or April), and plan for trach removal sometime in May. Yep, Harper should be trach free by summer! All she will need is a stoma repair, in which they will take cartilage from her ear or rib and reinforce the stoma site since it is the only floppy part left of her airway (due to the fact that the trach sits there and discourages healing). For now, we stay healthy through the winter as best we can, and big things will be happening in the spring! As before, every day with Harper is a new experience. Well, it’s a new experience for us, but it’s simply life to her. Kids often ask her “What is that on your neck?” and she responds, with a little sass, “It’s my trach!” almost like she wants to ask, “Where’s yours?” Her personality is as big as her smile, and her attitude is that of a teenager: sweet and sassy, and she loves big. Life for Harper is good, and there is no stopping her. She loves to run and play, jump on the trampoline, and put on make-up. She also started taking dance this year--tap, jazz, and ballet. If there is anything she loves, it is music and dancing. We are still hoping for Harper to be trach-free one day, but oh, how amazing it is to have seen her fight through so much and to come so far today. We may not fully understand why there have been so many obstacles in her life, but one thing is certain: God made Harper in a special way so she can be a blessing in the lives of anyone and everyone who knows her. *Updates continue on her Facebook page, “Prayers and Support for Baby Harper.”

Q&A with NWA Brewer Joe Zucca in Hoegarrden, Belgium, that famous mainstay of European beer, staying with my cousins and enjoying all that the area had to offer. They would bring Hoegarrden Beer home in the evenings to share with me, and it was so delicious. I was sitting in the ancient Hoegarrden brewery having a beer with my cousin when an old woman fell down some rock steps right in front of us. Everyone stopped, looked to see if she was alright--she was surprisingly fine--and it was right then, weirdly enough, that inspiration hit me. Not only was this beer amazing, but this was an awesome community. In that moment, I knew that upon my return to Missouri, I would pursue brewing full-time.

ver since the NWA area became a wet county in 2012, local hop-heads have been jumping at the opportunity to share their passions with our community. As true Arkansas originals, they create unique brands, unleash amazing flavors and organize trailblazing events for both tourists and locals in the Fayetteville Foam Fest and the Ale Trail. The high demand and ensuing hustle of the craft breweries already established, as well as the steadily growing numbers of new breweries, show that NWA’s craft beer culture is here to stay. Peekaboo sat down with Joe Zucca, head brewer at downtown Bentonville’s own nanobrewery, Bike Rack Brewing Co., to talk about the intersection of business, brews and fatherhood in NWA. Q: When did you begin to be interested in homebrewing? Did something in particular draw you to it? I began homebrewing in my early twenties, and I’m thirty eight now, so homebrewing has definitely kept my interest! What prompted me to want to pursue brewing as a profession was when I took my backpacking tour across Europe. Of course, I was just looking for adventure at the time, not a professional career change, but still... I remember it well. I was

46 January 2015

It took a good long while, as brewing is a technical, exacting and creative business where you have to be committed to learning a lot very quickly, but I found a job in production at Boulevard Brewing Co. I made it clear to Steven Pauwels, the Belgian Brewmaster of Boulevard, that I wanted to brew, and brew very, very well. He and the rest of the brewers there trained me, and I continued to brew there, honing my craft, for 2 years. After two years in the city, however, I got restless and moved back to the beautiful Ozarks. I then put my resume out on the internet and applied to breweries all over the world. If I wanted to get a truly well-rounded education in brewing (as well as satisfy my thirst for new places, people and experiences), I knew I’d need to cast a wide net. I ended up taking a job which had me starting up a new microbrewery in Copan Ruinas, Honduras. It didn’t take long, of course, after a couple of trips and this stint in Central America, to make me realize just how good we have it right here in the States. I resolved to get back into brewing quality beers where I was from. And, fortunately, that’s when I met my soon-to-be wife, Veronica, and her darling 3-year-old daughter Adrienne. Now, about 8 years later, I have an 11-year-old daughter and our 5-year-old boy, Sterling. Both are incredibly good kids, thanks to Veronica! Q: How does your family influence your work? Being a good father while brewing full-time is the hardest part of all. Like I said, brewing is a creative, but difficult, business, where you have to have your eye on a ton of things at once. The responsibility of being the master brewer is huge. As soon as I’m home after a grueling day at work, though, I have to hang up brewing (or try anyway) and start being a dad. Being involved with both Adrienne and Sterling isn’t

Story by: Frances Wilson tough, though, because they are both so engaging and awesome, but, I’m not going to lie, keeping up with their energy is tough sometimes. Of course, after that I need to be a good husband to my beautiful wife Veronica, and, on my days off, keep the house up. We live in the country outside of Cassville, Missouri, so a family and a house out here is a challenge, but I wouldn’t trade it for the best beer in the world. Q: What has been the local reception to the craft brew business you’re a part of? Do you feel that NWA has been an encouraging environment to develop in? The biggest surprise in deciding to move back and brew was when Benton County became a wet county, quickly followed by the head brewer position at Bike Rack Brewing Co. opening up. After all that time, I wasn’t sure I would ever get back into brewing, especially in this area, where the counties were mostly dry. I was substitute teaching and working at a ranch to make ends meet when I heard that Bike Rack, a local nanobrewery created by five Wal-Mart executives, was looking to hire a master brewer. Two of the executives were home brewers themselves, so we connected on several levels. Compared to Boulevard, Bike Rack is a true nano-size brewery, but it has all the tools to make great beer.

Today, I’m proud to say that Bike Rack Brewing. is doing very well, and growth is looking really good. Q: What’s your favorite kind of beer? My go-to beers have not changed much. They are still Hoegarrden--that famous Belgian Wit that initially turned me on to beer--and Boulevard Pale Ale from my time there, as well as our India Pale Ale at Bike Rack Brewing Co. Q: What would be the single best piece of advice you’d give to someone out to create their own homebrew business? My advice to anyone who is wanting to become a brewer would be to get a job at a good-quality brewery. Make sure it’s top-quality, because learning the brewing process the wrong way can lead to bad beer, and who wants that? Oh, and make sure that you absolutely love to clean for your art! There is lots of cleaning in the brew business, and it’s super important that you don’t get lazy, and get the job done right.

Someone Please

Help Me Understand ADHD! see ad next page..

(479) 444.1400

My child’s teacher thinks they have ADHD. How can I know for sure?

in the classroom made Debbie just want to shout, “Be quiet; I cannot think with all this noise!”

The children described below will introduce us to three separate types of ADHD most often found in children.

Denise, on the hand, had ADHD but seemed the exact opposite of Debbie. No one could ever seem to get Denise’s attention. She was in a world of her own. She would daydream, doodle, and draw on her papers. The teacher and her parents often wondered if Denise could hear. They would call her name three or four times before she would respond. She often missed important information like assignments or studying for tests because she did not “hear” about them. Denise was never a behavior problem. In fact, no one noticed her problem at all until she started failing in school.

ADHD-hyperactive

“He wiggles, squiggles, fidgets, squirms and just cannot sit still! He is much more active than normal for boys his age. He seems to be motor driven, and that motor is constantly running.” These were the first words Johnny’s mom said when I asked. “why did you come to see me today?” Her response is a description of typical ADHD-hyperactive behavior. It is not primarily a learning problem, or even a behavioral problem. It is a problem with the ability to control levels of activity. Specifically, Johnny seemingly has almost no ability to control his very high activity level.

ADHD-Impulsive Ivan was consistently in trouble. His behaviors read like a Jeff Foxworthy version of “You Might Be ADHD If...” Ivan blurted out whenever he felt like it. He interrupted the teacher, other students, and his parents. The concept of taking turns never took root in him. Walking to the teacher’s desk, he would run his hands across other student’s desk or touch their paper and accidentally knock their books to the floor. When Ivan was young child, his mom learned quickly that, if she did not jump out of the car and grab his hand, Ivan would be across the parking lot without even the thought of looking for cars. Ivan’s poor organizational skills were a constant source of aggravation. Homework was often lost or not turned in on time. This had a devastating effect on his grades.

ADHD-Inattentive

Meet Debbie. She also has ADHD, but she is very different from Ivan. She is easily distracted. While she was trying to do her work in class, she could not keep her mind from wandering. It seemed as if Debbie was more interested in everyone else’s business than her own. If the teacher was whispering to help another student, Debbie would listen. She noticed the noise in the hall, the pencil sharpener, the book-bag shuffle and the new Disney pencil her neighbor was using. Sometimes the normal level of noise and movement

Her parents and teachers “knew it could not be ADHD” because she was not “hyper.” What they did not know was that half of all ADHD children show no signs of hyperactivity. Debbie and Denise are examples of the extremes found in ADHD-inattentive type. Debbie has the “easily distracted” type. She is off task more than she is on task. The result is that she takes longer to complete assignments. Denise’s daydreaming, on the other hand, is a result of too much focus. She overfocuses on some information to the exclusion of other information. Both of these girls could turn 10-minute assignment into a two-hour struggle.

Other Common Symptoms with All Types of ADHD: - Short-term memory: This seems to be affected by not getting the entire message stored in the brain. Imagine trying to listen to a conversation while 10 people are talking at once. - Fine motor skills and inconsistent performance: Many of these children struggle with poor handwriting skills. Legibility and consistent size of letter production may vary from day to day. - Lack of Concentration or Being able to sit still: Concentration is often best while playing video games, watching movies, playing with “hands-on” toys such as building blocks, or during one-on-one instruction. While we are instructing parents and teachers on the best way to help even the most severe ADHD child, we do so by increasing the amount of feedback given to the child. My article next month will help parents learn how ADHD is properly diagnosed and treated.

Our UPDATE:

Bringing Home Sylvie:

We anticipated returning later in the fall to reunite with her forever. Those plans were halted with the September announcement of an exit permit suspension. Exit permits are required to leave the country, and all permits for adopted children had been halted, per a government mandate.

an update

We watched the videos to remember her laugh. We flipped through the albums to remember her smile. The persistent ache of her absence was palpable in our home.

When we shared our story here in Peekaboo Magazine this past May, our family was still waiting for our legally adopted daughter to be allowed to leave her birth countryâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;the Democratic Republic of Congo.

e first saw our daughterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s face and accepted her referral on November 12, 2012. Then, we were able to hold her (at last!) and spend a week with her last summer after she was legally deemed our child by the Congolese judicial system. We spent the time loving on her, praying over her, and taking photos and videos to watch when we returned home without her. We knew we would have to leave empty handed on that trip, as we still had to obtain her US visa in order to be allowed to bring her home.

50 January 2015

Daddy went for another visit in February of 2014 and stayed the week with Sylvie in her foster home. He went to remind her we were still here, fighting and waiting and praying every moment of every day for her. We needed to let her know she is worth every ounce of energy expelled calling, emailing, letter writing, and begging anyone/everyone we can think of for help. He needed to tell her she was (and is) worth every tear, worth all of the heartache...she is our daughter and we would never give up fighting to get her home. I remained home because I was six months pregnant with our littlest and most unexpected blessing. It was painstaking for me to miss the moments with our daughter. Yet, the trip was a beautiful chance for Daddy to bond with his girl.

Excerpts from Dave’s trip journal Monday, February 24th

“It was a crazy, chaotic morning gett ing twelve kids ready and six of them out the door for school. After the older kids left, I was able to just relax with the younger foster child ren. I also got to feed Sylvie eggs, and she loved them. She smiled at me and ate. That girl is after my hear t, and she owns it.”

Tuesday, February 25th

“I’m bitter, thinking to myself: ano ther day without nearly as much time as I wanted with Sylvie. But, she is sleeping, so I get to hold her without a protest. What happened next showed me how much God is in the lives of this family. The pow er was out again, yet they started praising God with blackness all around. Laure and the girls and you ng boys were singing, her brothers were praying out loud, and I was holding my precious daughter, sayi ng a silent prayer of gratitude. During this adoption process I seem to have failed miserably in singing my praises to the Lord. I seem to only focus on asking Him: Why, why , why? Blaming Him for not changing hearts or moving mountains. I need to remember that He is a Fath er just like me. He loves me, with all of my faults, just as I am. Just as I love Ben, Nathan, and Sylvie. He wants to celebrate my successes with me and share in my grief when I am suffering. I went to bed that night with Sylvie sleeping next to me. I sat and watched her in the dark and thanked God for these few precious moments a father gets to spend with his dau ghter. My last thoughts before going to bed were mixed. I felt great sorrow that I most likely would not be bringing my daughter home. I also felt very thankful and blessed that I would get to spend my 35th birthday with my beautiful daughte r, in a loving home, halfway across the world.”

Wednesday, February 26th

“The kids woke me early with a Con

golese rendition of ‘Happy Birthda y!’ It was so thoughtful. I then did something I should have done on day one: I opened a package of balloons. Sylvie laughed and smiled at me for over an hour as we played with an entire package of balloons. I thought my lungs were going to explode as I probably blew up and deflated balloons a coup le hundred times, but I wasn’t stopping! I had a break through with my daughter and she even looked at me and called me ‘Papa.’ BEST birthday present I have ever gotten!!!!!! Man, I love that little girl. We played together while we cook ed lunch and she was exhausted, so I started packing up and getting ready to go. That’s when she started to shut down again. I think she kne w I was leaving and didn’t want to give me any more of herself. I felt absolutely awful. It felt like a crue l joke--I was able to love on her and play with her for five precious days, and now I had to return hom e without her. I loaded up my bags and gave a kiss to her from her daddy and mommy. I told her how very much we loved her and that we would be back just as soon as we could to take her home. I hope and pray that part of her understood why I had to leave. The emotions started at the airport.. .at first, it was mostly defeat and ange r. What kind of father goes to visit his child and comes home without her? I felt like a complete failure. It was such a relief to talk on the phone with Jenny and the boy s. After talking with them, I realized this trip was a blessed one, and I truly believe it has paved the way for great things to come.” “Jenny, I know this week has been hard on you. You have taken over our family at home with no complaint. You allowed me to go visit our daughter when I know it just tore at your heart not to be able to be there, but, you were ther e, Jenny. I brought your pictures, you r letters, your toys, your love to Sylvie. I told her each and every day how very much Mommy and Dad dy love her. How we longed to have her home with her brothers. She may not have understood it all, but she knows who we are. She knows her mommy and daddy love her so very much and are fighting with everything we have to bring her home. “

I saw God before me all the time. ‘Nothing can shake me, He’s right by my side. I’m glad from the inside out, ecstatic. I’ve pitched my tent in the land of hope.’ {Acts 2:25 MSG}

-- story continued next page --

After that trip, we continued to plead with anyone and everyone we could to help us bring our baby girl home. She had been very sick and her illness had escalated during Dave’s visit. The fear of losing her was very real. Congressman Womack and his staff and Senators Boozeman and Pryor were working alongside us the entire time. The way they fought for our family was remarkable.

Thirty-nine days later, we received the email we had prayed for—our exit permit was granted! And, in a way that only God can, He blessed us exponentially by allowing our daughter’s foster mother, who had cared for her for the past thirteen months, to fly her home to us. We knew this would help alleviate some of Sylvie’s fears during this abrupt time of transition. We learned they were allowed to leave on Monday, and they boarded a flight on Tuesday, arriving at XNA on Wednesday evening. Those days were a complete whirlwind. The day of her arrival felt like a dream. Our nerves were high and our excitement was tangible. Our incredible community stepped in to help us prepare by bringing groceries, a car seat, clothes, shoes, toys, hair

Because of her illness, we continued to plead with the US ambassador in the DRC to assist us in obtaining an exception for a medical exit permit. Medical professionals here in the US and in the DRC worked with us to present a case for her immediate release and need for treatment. We continued to wait and email and advocate and pray hard for a breakthrough. In May, a little boy in desperate need of surgery was given permission to leave the country with his adopted family. Our hope was restored. We immediately sent updated medical documents to the ambassador and again pleaded for his help with our case. In early June, he agreed to present our documents to the Congolese officials responsible for exit permits. While we awaited word from the ambassador, we filed a visa application for Dave to be prepared to travel as soon as possible. We made the decision that he would travel alone, again, since I had just given birth to our youngest daughter two weeks prior. I checked for an update from the ambassador or our in-country representative constantly. The time difference meant I was checking my phone all night waiting for an email with any news. Every day felt like an eternity as we held our breath and prayed for favor with the government.

products for Sylvie, and freezer meals. Even though we had waited for two years for this day, we had only 48 hours notice that she would FINALLY be coming home to us. Those seemingly simple deliveries were acts of love for which we will forever be grateful. Our brave 2 1/2 year old daughter said goodbye to everyone and everything she had ever known when she stepped on that plane. She walked off and into a new life where everything was unfamiliar—new faces, new smells, new sounds, a new language, and new foods. The transition has not been perfect. There has been fear and grieving. There has been sorrow and brokenness. Yet, above all, there has been healing, there has been laughter, and there has been abundant love. Moments after I typed that last sentence, Sylvie stood from where she was playing and ran up to me and gave me an unprompted kiss and hug. That’s it. That’s what makes all of the waiting, all of the tears, all of the work worth it. We look at her and think, “Look at all we would have missed out on if we had not said yes.” And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. {1 Corinthians 13:13}

The Period of

PURPLE Crying

The Injury Prevention Center at Arkansas Children’s Hospital

ate afternoon means it may be about that time, the crying time. This can be the most dreaded part of the day for many families with new babies, those hours where it may seem impossible to soothe or quite their infants. The crying usually begins at about two weeks of age and can continue until the baby is between three and five months old. Each baby is different and has their crying pattern. The amount of time spent crying can vary with the baby’s temperament, from about one to as many five hours a day. One of the most frustrating things about the crying is that babies seem to be unsoothable and nothing you can do will help. It is difficult for parents to cope with not being able to comfort their child. Sometimes the frustration coupled with the exhaustion of being a new parent may turn into anger, and anger into shaking their baby or other violence. Dr. Mary Aitken, Director of Arkansas Children’s Hospital Injury Prevention Center noted that “Preventing abusive head trauma includes education to make sure that parents and all caretakers of infants understand that crying is normal for young babies and that having a plan to cope with crying is critical. The Period of PURPLE Crying (http://www.purplecrying. info/) is a standardized approach to getting this message to families as an important step to keep infants safe.”

Dr. Ronald Barr, a developmental pediatrician who has conducted many studies on infant crying and behavior, came up with the phrase the Period of PURPLE Crying. His idea was to explain this phase of infant development

P U R P L E

eak of crying time

will most likely happen in month two, and lessen

by months three – five.

nexpected crying

can come and go and you don’t know why.

esistant to soothing no matter what you do.

ain like facial expressions even

when they are not hurting.

ong lasting crying

can last for more than five hours at a time.

vening Hours are the most frequent times for long stretches of crying.

to parents of new babies so they would know it was normal and they would be encouraged that it has an endpoint. The Period of Purple Crying was designed as a prevention program to help parents and caregivers coping with the stressors of their baby’s first

months of life. The program shares that normal infant crying is the most common trigger for shaking an infant. New parents can receive training on The Period of PURPLE Crying at pre-natal classes or at the delivering hospital.* The Period of PURPLE Crying offers parents tips typical infant sleep patterns and on how to help soothe a crying infant such as adding extra feeding times, burping, car rides, luke warm baths and singing softly while swaying. But sometimes your baby is simply unsootheable. One of the most important things to remember is that the crying is perfectly normal, just like the frustration or anger that it will not stop. The Period of PURPLE Crying recommends that you have a written crying plan to help you deal with the stress that infant crying brings to the family. The best way to deal with the crying when it just won’t stop is to get away from the baby and take time to calm yourself down. After you place your baby safely in the crib, take a few minutes to occupy yourself with something less stressful such as; listening to music, taking a bath, exercise, watching television, take a nap or engage in a hobby or craft that you enjoy. Most importantly, never shake your baby: this is never okay and can result in devastating brain injury and death.

*All hospitals in the state of Arkansas that deliver babies are encouraged to educate new parents on preventing abusive head trauma through PURPLE or other programs. Currently an effort to educate all of the daycare and nursery workers on The Period of PURPLE Crying is taking place.

Rituals of Life by : Eva Lebens

Life is all about creating beautiful memories

Every day, you wake up and probably take a shower. You have breakfast (or don’t eat at all), drink coffee, and rush to school to drop off your children. You move on to work and maybe squeeze in the gym. You come home, make dinner, unwind, quickly bathe your tired kids, read them a book, and get ready for the next day. Daily routines. We ALL have them, but did you ever realize how valuable they actually are? These daily routines can make amazing memories, and I will explain how.

time flies

I’ve always been fascinated with the passing of time. Time seems to go by even faster now that I’m getting older. My children—of which I have three— used to have tiny soft feet; they’re big now. My eldest is nine and suddenly prefers to watch the news with us instead of us reading him a book. I can’t make time stop, but I can make sure we lock in in the most precious memories.

but first, let me take A SELFIE

Sounds easy, but...which memories should I capture? We take formal, grandparent-worthy pictures of birthdays and holidays, and, nowadays, tons of selfies depicting not-so-relevant activities. “These are not the things you eventually want to remember,” says Douwe Draaisma, a Dutch psychologist, philosopher and author of the book, Why Life Speeds Up As You Get Older. When you’re older, according to the thesis of his book, you want to remember the moments that are unique in your life. “For instance,” Draaisma says, “you want to remember that your dad came home every Saturday morning with two bags of groceries...but you never took a picture of it.”

capturing unique moments

I wondered if I was capturing the right moments. I shared my thoughts with a friend who had started taking pictures of family rituals. “Rituals?” I asked. Far from being cultish, a family ritual is something you repeatedly do with two or more family members. I had to let this sink in. Your daily routines normally consist of things you have to do and don’t like to do, per se, such as the rush hour before school. On the other hand, I do remember drinking tea with my mum when I came home from school. We chitchatted and I got to choose two cookies. I also remember us dancing to Michael Jackson’s Billy Jean after dinner. Those “normal” things still give me a warm feeling. So, I wondered, do my daily routines hide precious rituals with my family?

difference between ritual and routines Yes, they do, is the short answer, and you can change your daily routines into rituals by changing your attitude. The difference between a routine and ritual is the meaning you give them. By taking a snapshot, you might realize your children actually really like those moments. Upon realizing that, you may also enjoy them more and create meaningful memories together instead of rushing through them. It’s all about living in the moment.

my story is not so interesting

I decided to test if rituals for others are as valuable as I believed they may be and used the following tools: 1. An interview; 2. Pictures of the ritual; and 3. A drawing based on the interview and the photographs.

I started on the safe side and interviewed friends. Yes, they wanted to cooperate, but each of them would have the same main concern: “Eva, it’s fine,” they would say, “but my story will not be so interesting to you.”

“All our life, so far as it has definite form, is but a mass of habits.”

William James, 1892

more than rituals you think?

Of course, I was afraid of hearing the same things, but I didn’t. We cycle to school, drink together, and have vacation rituals; we seem to enjoy and value things differently. Even the same routines—such as bathing your kids and putting them to bed—turned out to consist of different rituals. Some parents use tablets to color the bath; some sing a song that has been in the family forever. Everyone I interview says, “Oh, wait a minute, I have another one! I have so many more rituals than I thought!” Each story is unique, and when you start sharing your rituals, the list seems to be endless.

rituals are the center of life

Discussing the meaning of routines and rituals is always part of the interview. We agree routines are a necessity...for ourselves and for our children. Organizing the things you have to do makes life easier, plus, getting things done gives you a good feeling—it’s a win-win. By turning routines into rituals, it makes them even more meaningful and something to look forward to. No wonder the book Daily Rituals: How Artists Work, by Mason Currey—a book that explains how famous creative professionals such as Franz Kafka get their work done (or not)—is so immensely popular. If famous people live(d) by rituals, there must be something good about them!

share your story My question is: are you next? All the stories I’ve heard so far are different and equally precious. My enthusiasm about finding these hidden gems in the daily routines of others just keeps on growing. There must be many stories out there, stories of families, grandparents, and even companies. The other day I shared my fascination with Kim, and she was immediately enthusiastic to feature Rootines in the Peekaboo Magazine! In February you can read about Rootines. Additionally, I’m excited to share Kim’s story on the Rootine website. Share your story and we’ll lock in your precious memory, both for you and for Peekaboo magazine readers.

Read more interviews at: www.rootines.com

Keeping Kids Active in Cold Weather

From Meredith Denton, MD, Pediatrician

he winter weather doesn’t have to turn your kids into couch potatoes. Here are some ways to keep your kids safely active in winter weather.

Kids can enjoy biking, walking, skating, or free unstructured play in cold weather just as in warm weather. If they tend to spend winter weekends in front of the TV, adults can set an example by getting out with the kids. Keep track of the time. Kids need at least an hour a day of active play, but it doesn’t all have to be at the same time. If you’re out with your kids, get them home before their teeth start chattering. If they go out on their own, make sure they know when to come back in. Give kids a watch or text them so they’re not outside too long. Make sure your kids are dressed for the weather. Wool insulates well, but cotton gets chilly fast, especially if it gets wet. Dress kids in layers and try to have a down or wool outer layer on cold days. Microfiber is a good alternative if you want to avoid animal fibers. Hats, gloves, leggings, and scarves help keep kids warmer longer. If it’s too cold to get out, encourage active play indoors. You don’t wan’t basketball games in the house, but Hula Hoops, dancing, hopscotch, or movement-based video games are all good indoor options.

Dr. Meredith Denton is a Board Certified Pediatrician at Northwest Arkansas Pediatric Clinic, a MANA clinic, and mother of three little girls. When you’re inside, turn on music instead of the TV. Studies have shown that kids and adults move more and sit less when there is music on in the house. Head for a gym, skating rink, indoor heated pool, or other indoor recreation area. In Northwest Arkansas, there are options for all ages and all budgets. Not only is it better for your kids’ health to get some movement every day, but it’s good for your health to join them. The whole family can benefit from better digestion, better sleep, better moods, and some happy memories.

Confessions of a Cleft Mom by: Meg Meredith

I used to bargain with God. Honestly, I thought that’s how our relationship worked. I made promises, and then he did what I asked. I prayed meager prayers and made empty promises in exchange for silly wishes. This changed in 2008. My husband and I had been married for five years, and I had just come home from a work trip to discover that I was pregnant. We were surprised and stunned, to say the least. We didn’t feel nearly ready, mature enough or selfless enough to have a child yet, but clearly God had decided that it was time. Due to a change-in-insurance hiccup, I had to wait longer than normal to have my first ultrasound, and by the time we had our first one scheduled we could also maybe find out the gender of the baby. It was an exciting day. My husband went with me. Neither one of us had ever seen an ultrasound or knew what to expect. After a long wait, and plenty of cold jelly and butterflies in my stomach, the doctor came in and we began to be amazed at our baby’s feet, legs and heart valves. I greeted the doctor’s announcement that our baby was a he with tears in my eyes. I knew that our son would be named Jaxon. Almost an hour later, with a look that said that something wasn’t quite normal, the doctor turned the light on and said, “We need to talk.” The doctor had looked at Jaxon’s face and every other part that was visible, of course, but he’d come back up to the face as least 15 times. Silently, mind you, while we,

60 January 2015

ecstatic and joyful, obviously didn’t notice. I had no other ultrasound to compare it to, so I just thought that our doctor was being really accommodating and letting us look at our son as long as we wanted. He explained that he was about 85% sure that the baby had a cleft. My mind began to race with questions and emotions. “A what?” I thought to myself, “What’s a cleft? Can that be fixed? He’s not perfect? What do you mean?” The questions came faster, more urgently. “You can’t tell me for sure? What do you mean I have to wait a month and come back to be sure? How am I supposed to cope with the “what if ’s” for another month from now? I don’t do percentages well. Give me something else!” After 20 weeks of swirling thoughts and morning sickness all day, every day, we finally sat in another waiting room until every patient had gone and the clinic was about to close. We had our doctor’s full attention, and he explained everything. He also said that 85% sure really meant 95%, and he felt that it was more merciful to be honest. Jaxon most likely was going to be born with a cleft lip and palate. We rode home in shock, tears and fear. What was life going to be like? What would people say? How would we tell our families? How will they respond? Will we ever feel okay again? We had family members and friends who prayed for in-utero healing. We believed God could do that. But part of me knew that I also needed to get to the place where I could say, “But if you choose not to, we trust that this was your plan.” I wasn’t there yet, though. I couldn’t say it, I couldn’t pray it and I couldn’t really face the world. We began to do research and get

connected with people who knew about clefts, surgery and what life would be like with a cleft kid. It was an emotional month, I won’t lie. I went through all the stages of grief and cried more than I ever have in my life. I had to come to grips with statements and questions like: “My child won’t be ‘normal’,” “What does the ‘perfect’ child look like?” “Why me?” and, to top it all off, “Is this somehow my fault?” One day, a friend of mine had called to remind me of something that a pastor had once told me. He’d called me an “oak.” She told me that she didn’t think it was because that was who I was back then, but it was because it was who God was going to ask me to be. Jaxon would need a mom that was strong, sturdy and deeply rooted in God. I even got it tattooed on my wrist because I knew I would need a daily reminder of who God was asking me to be, and to be able to tell our story anywhere I went. And here is where I began to stop bargaining with God. I realized that he had a plan, even though it was the farthest thing from my plan. I also realized that I had wanted a great life without learning hard things or having to go through anything painful. Now, I didn’t have a choice.

like the verse, and even though medical science says that a cleft is a “unfinished zipping of the palate and lip,” God had still perfectly knit him together in my womb, he was just as much fearfully and wonderfully made as any other child. Over the next four months, I endured other friends having “normal and healthy babies,” an oft-quoted term which I will be honest and say that I came to resent for a time. My sister was pregnant, and though we enjoyed being pregnant together, I struggled with feelings of “defectiveness” and envy. These feeling can sometimes be compounded by the things that others say. We may not want other’s words to hurt us, but in times of great pain and grief, we are most vulnerable to words that often sting. People say a lot of thoughtless things when you’re pregnant, but even more so when your baby isn’t going

God grew in my heart the idea of having a family that was unique, each person would have their own “things” that made them special and designed for our family.

I started praying differently and I started realizing that God must have meant for Jax to be someone wonderful if he had to start his life in this hard way. By the time we went back for the confirmation ultrasound a month later, I knew that though God had chosen not to heal him miraculously, He would do great and mighty things through Jax’s cleft team at Arkansas Children’s Hospital. Jax might not have been born with a face that the world calls perfect or normal, but he was exactly who God wanted him to be. Just

to be normal. I can’t tell you how many times I heard, “Well, what causes that?” I’m convinced that this is a southern, bless-your-heart way of asking if it was my fault. But, the more I prayed, the more my answer and my heart changed. I could eventually say, even with hurt feelings, “It’s just the way God wanted him.” At 12:17, on April 2nd, after two separate inductions, being sent home, another induction, water broken and then an emergency c-section, Jaxon entered my

Turn the page ...

world and made it a more beautiful place. His first year of life is thus far the hardest year of my life. We were in survival mode, and I didn’t even get a chance to go through postpartum, as there was no time for that. Jaxon struggled to eat, had ear infections at week two, never took a pacifier because he couldn’t suck, couldn’t breastfeed (which I also had to grieve), and, because of all this, we had to change the way he ate at least seven times in that first year. We learned how to tape his face together to stretch the tissue out for surgery. Think about it: I had to tape my newborn baby’s face together. For surgery. It takes a certain strength of mind, resolute will and “wherewithal” to tape a newborn’s face together, day after day. Even with tears in my eyes, as I knew it was causing irritation and pain to his face, I had to resolve myself to do what was in his best interest, even though it was hard and inconvenient.

well…” Well, the truth was, I couldn’t even mentally cross that bridge, but I saw the bridge and trusted the Lord for it, praying we wouldn’t have to cross it. We didn’t just survive that first year. We’re all the better because of it. We’re thriving because of it. Jaxon is the most beautiful 5-year-old ever--not that I’m biased, of course--who has a huge heart. Though I love to tell our story anytime I can, I also love that many people that meet Jaxon don’t notice he is a cleft kid, because that’s how amazing Arkansas Children’s Hospital is, and that’s how mighty our God is.

He had his lip repair surgery at 10 weeks old and his palate repair surgery at 10 months. He had three sets of tubes in between. We learned a vital lesson in that first year that some parents don’t learn till their kids go to college: the lesson of LETTING GO. The hand off for surgery is the most frightening thing I’ve ever done, but, we had to learn to say, “God, he’s yours. You’ve got him. Take care of him.” The silent part in my brain that I wouldn’t ever dare voice out loud would add, “And if you choose to take him home during surgery…

We knew when Jaxon was born that God had a different kind of family planned for us. I knew that I didn’t want to have the “two perfect children… and then Jax the cleft kid.” God grew in my heart the idea of having a family that was unique, wherein each person would have their own “things” that made them special and designed for our family. My husband piped in with, “Like the X-men?” “Yes, honey,” I replied, with a smile, “Our kids will be just like the X-men.” Even now, we talk to Jax about how no one is perfect and God is always working on us, just like his surgeons are always working on him. We tell him that God made him just the way he is, and everyone is different. His adopted sister is African-American, and is a beautiful picture of how they are both different, unique and just the way God wanted them. We don’t know everything. We take it one surgery at a time. One day at a time. What I do know is that God has perfect plans, He does all things well, and sometimes he entrusts hard things to us because of who he wants us to be. How we let it shape us and our plans is up to us.

Community Support Bolsters Grieving Family by: Janet Boxx

t’s a surreal and disconcerting experience to find yourself, your family, and your personal tragedy become a local news story – especially when it occurs without your knowledge or permission. That’s exactly what happened to our family last year. On December 26, 2013, we were returning home to Bentonville after celebrating Christmas with family when we were involved in a three-car collision. The collision occurred when a 19-year-old unlicensed driver, who had twice before been ticketed for driving without a license, pulled his father’s Dodge pickup into the passing lane of northbound I-49 in Pineville, Missouri, in front of a Chevy pickup. His official statement indicates that he was fully aware of the approaching vehicle. An officer with the Missouri State Highway Patrol informed my husband that the unlicensed driver had never once tried to acquire a driver’s license in the four years he was legally entitled to take the state driving test. That December day, he was attempting to access a center turn lane in order to make a U-turn instead of traveling an additional mile and a half to the next exit. The Chevy, which was traveling 12 miles per hour over the posted limit, rear-ended the Dodge, pushing it across the highway and into the path of our family van. Our daughter, Gracen, was critically injured and flown by helicopter to Freeman Hospital in Joplin. O’rane Williams, an international student from Jamaica who was spending his school break with us, along with my husband, David, both received moderate injuries. I came away with minor injuries, but my oldest and youngest daughters, Bethany and Katie, both died on impact. When I became aware of the media coverage, I found myself wary of the attention. I discovered long ago that I’m a fairly open book. However, when I’m at my most vulnerable, I tend to withdraw in fear of being judged or criticized and becoming the subject of gossip. Aside from those concerns, does anyone really

64 January 2015

want to have the most difficult days of their life laid bare before complete strangers? The media provided the basic facts of the accident and a simple account of our family. They explained that O’rane was a passenger in our van, and reported where the girls attended school and the fact that David was currently unemployed. In the wake of the news coverage, I found myself concerned that I would be approached by strangers, unprepared to answer questions and respond to expressions of sympathy. As a result, and also due to Gracen’s needs, David ran all our errands and I didn’t leave the house for anything other than Gracen’s follow-up appointments in Little Rock for the next three months. In that time, we had a steady stream of medical professionals in and out of the house, and regular visits from family and a few close friends. A few uncomfortable moments definitely resulted from the media coverage – however, most of those situations granted us an opportunity to laugh at ourselves and the incongruity of each particular situation. David was far better equipped to deal with the occasional stranger’s approach and, in every case, we appreciated the sincere concern for Gracen’s well-being and for our family as a whole. As leery as I found myself of the media coverage, it served to open our eyes to the generous, supportive and loving community in which we feel privileged to reside. We received cards, letters, and gifts that left us simply awed and overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers. There are no words adequate enough to express how it feels to be the recipient of such care and concern – to experience shared grief and to be embraced and prayed for by friends, neighbors and strangers. Our church family, First Baptist Church of Rogers, met multiple needs, often on short notice. The staff helped plan, prepare, and provide for Bethany and Katie’s funeral and burial. Dear friends we’d bonded with through our life groups, and members we’d corporately worshiped with, yet had not personally met, set about getting our home ready for our return, providing meals and transportation. Blue bows tied to

mailboxes all over our subdivision welcomed us home in a visual display of support and encouragement after Gracen’s release from UAMS, where she had been transferred for knee surgery. The medical team that we had in place prior to the collision rallied around us, calling, visiting, answering questions, facilitating support services and acquiring medications when a closed hospital pharmacy met narcotics distribution rules that prevented us from filling Gracen’s prescriptions. Children’s Therapy Team bent over backwards to begin providing physical and occupational therapy services for Gracen as soon as we returned home from the hospital – coming to our home several nights a week and during office hours because we were not able to get Gracen into a vehicle to take her to the clinic. The Bentonville School District helped Gracen complete her junior year of high school at home, and provided all the support she needed to return to campus this fall. The Bentonville Library honored us and our daughters with memorial books, and the library’s Teen Advisory Board planted a memorial dogwood tree in a ceremony we were invited to attend. Dairy Queen, Bethany’s former employer, hung a memorial picture, and Katie’s name was added to the Jacob’s Ladder memorial sculpture in the North Commons at Bentonville High School.

Around Thanksgiving, David, Gracen and I began visiting the individual agencies involved to personally thank the people who were there for us in our hour of need. We have been stunned to hear repeatedly from law enforcement officers, paramedics and even from the 911 dispatch center how the events of that day impacted them individually. These highly trained professionals serve our communities, working long hours, holidays and weekends, often without receiving a single word of thanks. They see gruesome things and cope with highly stressful and dangerous situations that take a toll and often leave emotional scars. While I doubt I will ever find myself comfortable in the media spotlight, the media opened a door through which friends, neighbors, and strangers entered, meeting needs and carrying us before the throne of grace. We felt the love of our Heavenly Father and experienced His faithfulness and provision through the community who shared our sorrow in the midst of this frightening and painful tragedy. Today we pay tribute to our church family, First Baptist Church of Rogers, the citizens of Northwest Arkansas and McDonald County Missouri who reached out and served as the hands and feet of Christ for our family for that we are beyond grateful and offer in return our sincere and humble thanks.

There are many things David and I still do not know We also want to pay tribute to all the first responders about the events of December 26th. One of those things who stand in the gap for citizens in emergency and involves the people who found crisis situations every day. We our dog, Tuxedo, who we believe appreciate you, the price you was thrown from the van when it pay physically and emotionally rolled over. We’ve been told that he in the performance of your ran the pads off his paws. He was duties, and the sacrifices you eventually picked up and taken to make to serve the public. You the Bella Vista Animal Shelter and make a difference every single later transferred to Rose Animal day, even when you are not Clinic where he was treated for able to save or rescue everyone his injuries. A family friend with Pictured Above: Pineville Fire Department you serve. Your presence, whom we kennel Tuxedo when Pictured Below: Pineville Marshal’s Office your skills and efforts, and necessary then picked him up and your compassion and calm cared for him until we returned demeanor in chaotic situations home from Little Rock. makes an invaluable difference to traumatized victims. In addition, the first responders on scene from Pineville, Missouri, have Finally and specifically, thank kept up with our family. They have you to McDonald County 911 rallied around and encouraged us. Dispatch, the Pineville Fire In the spring we attended a pancake Department, Pineville Marshal’s Office, McDonald breakfast fundraiser for the Pineville Fire Department, County Sheriff ’s Department, the Missouri State which is staffed completely by volunteers. They loved Highway Patrol, Freeman Ambulance, Bella Vista on Gracen and made her a giant personalized pancake Ambulance Service, Mercy Life Line, Freeman fit for a princess. David and I were excited to meet the EagleMed, Freeman Hospital ER and ICU staff, Mercy first responders from Pineville’s various fire, rescue Hospital ER staff, the Joplin Ronald McDonald House, and law enforcement agencies who used their skills the surgical and trauma staff at UAMS, the Bella Vista and training both to keep Gracen alive and quickly Animal Shelter, Rose Animal Clinic, Bed & Biscuit get her dispatched to the trauma center. They also Boarding Kennel and the many individuals who called attended to O’rane and a Deputy with the Marshal’s 911 and stopped to offer assistance when the collision Office confirmed my worst fears in regards to Bethany occurred. We are grateful for each and every one of and Katie with kindness and compassion. you and all your efforts on our behalf.

At a Glance ARTS and MUSIC

At a Glance

BANKS

DERMATOLOGY

Abrakadoodle (Pg. 55) (479) 856-6651 abrakadoodle.com Crystal Bridges (Pg. 49) (479) 418-5700 crystalbridges.org Imagine Studios (Pg. 61) (479) 619-6085 imagine-studios.com Trike Theatre (Pg.47) (479) 464-5084 triketheatre.org The Walton Arts Center (Pg. 59) (479) 443-5600

EDUCATION/TRAINING

Larson’s Language Center (Pg. 58) (479) 633-9900 The New School (Pg. 63) thenewschool.org Shiloh Christian School (Pg. 35) (479) 756-1140 Walnut Farm Montessori (Pg. 71) (479) 271-9424 walnutfarmmontessori.com

First Security (Pg. 62) www.fsbank.com; www.onlyinark.com

FAMILY FUN / ENTERTAINMENT

CHILDCARE/NANNY SERVICES

ABC Happy Kids (Pg. 53) (479) 202-5691 abchappykids.com Better Beginnings (Pg. 67) (800) 445-3316 arbetterbeginnings.com Bright Haven (Pg. 33) (479) 717-2344 The Kid’s Studio (Pg. 43) (479) 268-6675 www.thekidsstudio.com Larson’s Language Center (Pg. 58) (479) 633-9900 Mary’s Little Lambs (Pg. 27) (479) 273-1011 Mustard Seed Children’s Academy (Pg. 17) www.mustardseedacademynwa.com Seeking Sitters (Pg. 32) (501) 203-3097 www.seekingsitters.com

Fast Lane Entertainment (Pg. 8) (479) 659-0999 www.fastlanebowl.com GirlScouts (Pg.22) (800) 632-6894 girlscoutsdiamonds.org Little Giggles (Pg. 41) (479) 268-4949 Starlight Skatium (Pg. 33) (479) 444-STAR The Walton Arts Center (Pg. 59) (479) 443-5600

TCBY (Pg. 3) (479) 636-8229 (TCBY)

FOOD / DRINK

HEALTH AND WELLNESS

Northwest Primary Care (Pg. 11) nw-physicians.com Tate HealthCare (Pg. 57, 69) (479) 271-6511 www.tatehealthcare.com

CHURCHES

Unitarian Universalist (Pg. 57) www.uubcar.com

JEWELRY AND GIFTS

DANCE/CHEER/TUMBLE/STRETCH

The Little Gym (Pg. 23) (479) 636-5566 tlgrogersar.com

David Adams (Pg. 55) davidadams.com

LEARNING CENTER

DENTIST

NWA Center for Plastic Surgery (Pg. 2) (479) 571-3100 nwacenterforplasticsurgery.com

Smile Shoppe Pediatric Dentistry (Pg. 70) (479) 631-6377

ABC Happy Kids Learning Academy (Pg. 53) (479) 621-6126 www.abchappykids.com Aloha of Bentonville (Pg. 43) (479) 426-3419 alohamindmath.com Larson’s Language Center (Pg. 58) (479) 633-9900

MARTIAL ARTS ATA (Pg. 34)

Bentonville: (479) 273-1212 / Fay: (479) 443-5425

OPTOMETRIST

Pediatric Vision Development Center (Pg. 19) nwavisiontherapy.com (479) 795-1411

PEDIATRICIAN

68 January 2015

Best Start Pediatric Clinic (Pg. 15) (479) 575-9359 Bentonville Pediatric Clinic (Pg. 4) (479) 273-5437 The Children’s Clinic at Springdale (Pg. 9) (479) 751-2522

www.imaginepediatrics.com

Harvey Pediatrics (Pg. 53) (479) 254-1100 harveypediatrics.com MANA NWA Pediatric Clinic (Pg. 38) (479) 443-3471

A safe place to learn and

PHOTOGRAPHY

Jessica Ritchie Photography (Pg. 45) (479) 372-8029 jessicaritchiephotography.com

PHYSICAL THERAPY (CHILDREN’S THERAPY)

Imagine Pediatric Therapy (Pg. 69) (479) 795-1260 imaginepediatrics.com

PLASTIC SURGEON

NWA Center for Plastic Surgery (Pg. 2) (479) 571-3100 www.nwacenterforplasticsurgery.com

PRESCHOOL/ PRE-K

ABC Happy Kids Learning Academy (Pg. 53) (479) 621-6126 www.abchappykids.com Larson’s Language Center (Pg. 58) (479) 633-9900 Ozark Montessori Academy (Pg. 39) (479) 935-9992 ozarkcca.org The Kid’s Studio (Pg. 43) (479) 268-6675 www.thekidsstudio.com Mary’s Little Lambs (Pg. 27) (479) 273-1011 Mustard Seed Children’s Academy (Pg. 17) www.mustardseedacademynwa.com The New School (Pg. 63) thenewschool.org Walnut Farm Montessori (Pg. 71) (479) 271-9424 walnutfarmmontessori.com

TALENT

N.C.K. Talent Academy (Pg. 66) (479) 445-6000 thenck.com

THERAPY

ABC Happy Kids Learning Academy (Pg. 53) (479) 621-6126 www.abchappykids.com Dr. Thomas Terry Lawson (Pg. 49) (479) 444-1400 www.terrylawson.com Sweet Emotions Counseling (Pg. 37) (479) 770-4673 se-counseling.com Tate HealthCare (Pg. 57, 69) (479) 271-6511

WOMEN’S HEALTH

Birth Center NWA (Pg. 13) (479) 372-4560 bcnwa.com Life Spring Women’s Health (Pg. 27) (479) 271-0005 lifespringhealthcare.com Northwest Primary Care of Springdale (Pg. 11) (479) 927-2100 Northwest Women’s Health Associates (Pg. 7) (479) 503-2525 Northwest Willow Creek Women’s Hospital (Pg. 5) (479) 684-3000 Parkhill Clinic for Women (Pg. 31) (479) 521-4433 Siloam Springs Women’s Center (Pg. 20) (479) 524-9312 siloamwomenscenter.com

• Occupational Therapy • Speech therapy • Physical therapy

We are committed to helping your child realize his/ her extraordinary possibilJoin us in helping kids in NWA. We are currently accepting donations for a Sensory Playground. To help, please call 479-795-1260, or come to one of our fundraising events: Golf Tournament (Spring) Bike Race (Summer) Gala Dinner (Fall)

2 CONV ENIENT LOCAT IONS To Schedule Your Appointment Call: ROGERS: (479) 631-6377 SPRINGDALE: (479) 756-6377

Experience. Discover. Grow.

eeee

Walnut Farm Montessori School Building a Foundation for Growth

Montessori Toddler Program 18 months-3 years old Walnut Farm offers flexible 2, 3, and 5 day toddler programs available in half day and full day options.

• Well prepared, peaceful environments that support learning and developing • Dedicated, nurturing, trained teachers • Developmentally appropriate curriculum that fosters cognitive development, speech and language development, fine and gross motor skill enhancement • Nutritious meals prepared onsite daily for full day students • Before and after school programs offered Walnut Farm Montessori School is the first and only school accredited by the American Montessori Society in the State of Arkansas and the first school to offer a natural playscape environment for exercise and exploration. Our school provides an authentic Montessori education for children ages 18 months to 12 years.

Enrolling Now Contact us today to schedule your tour of our enriching toddler program 479-271-9424 • info@walnutfarm.org