Peekaboo Free Magazine
Happy Father’s Day Northwest Arkansas’ Family Magazine
June 2015
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Wednesday, June 17th from 12 to 1 Come Have Lunch & Learn about Full Facial Rejuvination “Non Surgical Options for Aging�
Free Summer Facial to first 15 Guests to Register Call 479-571-3100 to Reserve your space today. Space is limited
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the PEEKABOO family Kimberly Enderle
Editor-in-Chief editor@peekaboonwa.com (479) 957-0532
Ava. Grant. and Holden. Jonathon Enderle
Creative Director jon@peekaboonwa.com (479) 586-3890
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Distribution/ Circulation Joyce Whitaker Judy Evans Marcedalia Salinas Jeremy Whitaker Michelle Dodson
Peekaboo Publications, PO Box 1036, Bentonville, Arkansas 72712 Peekaboo Northwest Arkansas accepts writing contributions. Please send inquiries to: editor@peekaboonwa.com or call (479) 586-3890 Peekaboo may not be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. Views expressed herein are those of the authors and advertisers, and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the magazine.
Peekaboo nwa W h at ’ s I n s i d e | J U n E | 2 0 1 5
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Don’t Walk Away From a Good Fight by: Bennjamin Banks
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Everyone Has a Different Normal
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Ozark Literacy Council Teams with Local Architects and Architecture Students to Bring the Little Free Libraries to Washington County by: Margot Jackson Lemaster & Julia Trupp
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Dad’s View with Ben Lacy
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To Make Time Stand Still by: Luke Davis
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Rituals of Life by: Eva Lebens
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Bentonville Film Festival Peekaboo VIP Blue Carpet
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Inside the #NWA Championship
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The Dalai Mama by: Kristin Hvizda
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Girls on the Run with Katie Andrews
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Not His Time with Samantha Keith, as told by Frances Wilson
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Hope-Filled Parenting by: Erin Keeley Marshall with Alan M. Hallene Jr.
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father’s day Issue
o n t h e c ov e r True (3) and Hutch (3 months), sons of Luke and Ellen Davis of Siloam Springs
Achieving a Healthy Weight by: Lynn M. Davis, MD
10 June 2015
Cover Photo by: Main Street Studios MainSt.Studios www.mainstreetstudios.net
from the editor
my FATHER gave me the greatest GIFT anyone could give another person--he BELIEVED in me.
- Jim Valvano
Created For You Photography
F
ather’s Day... The one day each year that we set aside to honor the men in our lives who play this very special role. The most beautiful sight to me, personally, is my own children walking hand in hand with their daddy. In fact, my heart always skips a beat when I see a dad out having lunch with his daughter or son, or encouraging his children from the sidelines. I know firsthand the important influence that a dad has in the lives of his children, as some of my favorite childhood memories have my dad as the key player. Despite working a full-time job, he was always willing to drop everything when I had a project that I couldn’t do alone. At the same time, though, he was never willing to let me settle for “C’mon, it’s good enough, Dad!” It wasn’t because he expected perfection--he just expected me to do my best. His drive to always treat every task like it is the most important one, and to treat every person he meets like they deserved the world and his full attention, is magnetic.I have always approached everything in my life with that same respect, and that has helped shape me into the person I am today. You see, a dad isn’t just second in command or an assistant to the MVP (aka Mom) and he definitely isn’t just a babysitter. In fact, that phrase drives me crazy when I hear it used to refer to a father’s time with his child! In our own little family, for instance, Jonathon takes the title of “Dad” very seriously. His focus and love for his children is not only wonderful for them now, but I can already see it shaping his three little admirers into caring, loving, nurturing, and driven mini-versions of their future selves. When it comes to the idea of a “Daddy’s Girl,” Ava could be the poster child. While she is as girly as it gets, she is also a
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“mini-me” of her father in a lot of ways. There are certain looks that she gives that are mirror images of Jonathon. She only wants to listen to the radio stations that daddy does, ketchup and ranch are a staple at every meal (in large, Dad-like quantities), and she is always excited to share her latest lyrics with her song-writing dad. Holden is what I expect Jonathon was like as a child... Which is a blessing, since Jonathon is an amazing, smart, handsome man, and at the same time a 24/7 comedian. And if anyone knows Grant, they know that he is a true daddyin-training, and one of the most nuturing little boys I have ever met. Having a husband who is the type of dad that my children want to emulate is something that I am thankful for each and every day. Jonathon always makes it a point to take time out for Ava, Holden, and Grant, and for that reason Jonathon is a dad I know my children will always be proud of. I only hope they still feel that way when his protective, loving ways strategically put him at the same restaurant as Ava when she goes on her first date, or in a disguise at Holden’s first high school party, or following behind Grant’s car “just a few yards back” when he takes the car out for the first time alone -- either way, they will always know they are loved.
Don’t Walk Away From a Good Fight
My name is Bennjamin Banks, and by the time you read this, I will be 11 months into living with nonsquamous cell Stage 4 Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma, a very rare form of cancer of the lower salivary glands. I want to make one thing very clear from the beginning--I am not dying of anything. I am living, grasping life with both hands every day and experiencing every second to the fullest. The way I see it, in the grand scheme of things, from the time we are born we start dying. How we choose to live those moments in between are 100% up to us. Life is a choice, and I am choosing to live it in a positive, happy way, whatever diagnosis I receive. I have an amazing wife, Kristianne, who has stood by me through all of this, and two amazing little boys, Sebastian (aka Bear), and Tristan (aka Super Tristan), who help me strap up my boots to kick cancer’s you-knowwhat every day of the week.
The thing that surprises people the most about me is that, despite what anyone may think, and despite my diagnosis, I am just like them.
My journey with cancer started 10 months ago, when I walked into an appointment I made with my local ENT, Dr. Ragland. Nothing really big had happened, but I had been losing my voice pretty consistently for a number of months. I figured it couldn’t be anything serious, because 3 months prior to that appointment I had been admitted to the local emergency room because I was coughing up blood, and they told me at the time that I just had the flu. When I sat down in Dr. Ragland’s examination chair on July 12, 2014, though, my entire world changed with just one look on his face. Dr. Ragland is a pretty stoic guy, so when grave concern, even fear, crossed his face, I was naturally more than a little concerned. He told me that whatever he was looking at in my throat, he had never seen before. He said normal squamous cell cancer looked a certain way, but, at 38, I was about 30 years too young for that type of cancer, even if I was a smoker, which I was not. I was confused, to say the least.
by: Bennjamin Banks
No, really... I could be you, your husband, your son, or your father. I was, and still am, just a normal guy who thought that I was invincible most of my life because I had never had any major illnesses. I was not a smoker, and I worked out most mornings so that I could eat and drink whatever I wanted. I suppose that you could say that I was in traditional “Dad” shape. I am that big guy that you know with a good job, a beautiful wife, and two young boys, all of whom I love more than my life. I coached my kids in baseball, basketball, and soccer, and if I wasn’t coaching, I was on the sidelines, yelling with a deep and unmistakable voice that forced people to pay attention to me... the kind of voice that people used to tell me meant I should have been in radio, with a volume that could be heard two doors down when I was having a normal conversation.
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The following day, I was rushed into a CT scan. That afternoon, Dr. Ragland called me as soon as he had the results, telling me there was a golf
ball-sized mass on the inside of my throat and we needed to get it biopsied right away. The next day, for the sake of expediency, we did a biopsy in his office while I was awake--not the most pleasant experience. Not quite as bad as a vasectomy with limited anesthetic, but that’s a story for another time. I then waited what were some of the hardest, longest, most worrisome days of my life before getting the call there wasn’t enough tissue to make a definitive prognosis. He then told me he had scheduled me for a full biopsy the following day at the hospital. Two days later, I received the call from Dr. Ragland while in my office. He explained to me the diagnosis of Adenoid Cystic and went through everything that it was and is. Honestly, after I heard the word carcinoma, my brain shut down and everything else he said came out like the voices of the adults on any of those Peanuts TV specials. Now is when I will give anyone who is reading this, and anyone who is fighting cancer, some advice I probably wouldn’t take myself, and sure didn’t follow when I got my prognosis. Don’t immediately jump on the internet and look up what the internet says about your cancer. It is never good. The internet to me is kind of like the news--if they can’t scare you with it, they can’t make money off of it; therefore, it doesn’t make it to the first page. Not only that, but, contrary to whatever the internet says about your diagnosis, you are not a statistic. As for me, I have never in my life conformed to what people have said I could or could not do. If someone told me I couldn’t do something, half the time I would do it just to prove that I could. For you, just like me, whatever happens to you can be controlled by how you play your hand. Things on the internet are a guideline, or a pathway--they are not law and whether or not they pertain to you is only determined by how much you internalize them. Either way, the fact staring me in the face was that I was 38 years old, and I had just been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Guys my age were supposed to be worrying about whether their DVR caught the Victoria Secret fashion show, not whether or not their life span might be shortened dramatically by the “C” word. I didn’t know what to do, so I put my head in my hands to pray and cry. I didn’t sob, because I was at work, and I was worried someone might walk by and hear me. There was no way I was in the frame of mind to be able to discuss what had just happened to me. I didn’t even know how I was going to break this news to my wife.
Turn the page ...
That night, I finally told my wife and held her close as she cried. She cried for all of the years we could have or might not have, all the things we planned and we wanted to do together, all of the things that will be said and might never be said-she cried because of the unknown--and that is what cancer is, the unknown. I don’t know why I got it, and neither do any of my doctors because it is so rare there is nothing really known about it. I do know I will do whatever it takes to find a cure. I am lucky enough, either way, when my wife signed up for “in sickness and in health,” that she actually meant it, and for her I am a grateful man. After my diagnosis, things kept moving at what felt like lightning speed. Because of the size of my tumor and because, at the time, they thought it was localized to my neck, it was determined the best way to save my life was to receive a fully laryngectomy as soon as possible. So, I had gone from diagnosis on July 12th to having a full laryngectomy scheduled and on the books for August 12th. Luckily, I work for an amazing company, Constellation Brands, who immediately let me know they would support me in whatever I needed while I was going through this.
Two weeks later, I got dressed up in a pink bunny onesie that I had kept from a pajama party years ago, and I walked into Winthrop Rockefeller to have my life changed forever. Most people wonder what would possess I looked up in the air and I asked a guy who is 6’3” and 275 pounds to God “Why me?” Fifteen minutes walk into a cancer hospital on one of the worst days in his life dressed up as of hard thought later, though, I the kid from A Christmas Story, but, decided that I would never ask honestly, I did it because I thought that question ever again... that I it would make people smile. There would never play the victim in this is no place on earth where people scenario, because “Why not me?” need to smile more than in the cancer wing of a hospital. So, it was nice to walk through the hospital and see people who were having a rough go of it look at me and After my laryngectomy was scheduled, I finally smile or look at me and laugh. Their smiles and came to terms with the fact that the doctors were their laughter made what I was about to go through going to take out my voice box and implant a more bearable, and, in turn, it allowed me to keep a synthetic one in its place. I would now breathe out smile on my face and to keep things in perspective. of a hole in my neck instead my nose. After that, From that point on, the only thing left was to let the I have to admit I had one of “those moments.” I doctors do their work. I sat in my bed before a very was driving back from Little Rock, and with a tear long, very dangerous operation, and I said the last in my eye, I looked up in the air and I asked God words with my original voice that would ever pass “Why me?” Fifteen minutes of hard thinking through my lips, “I love you Kristianne Banks...” and later, though, I decided I would never ask that the rest is history. question ever again...that I would never play the victim in this scenario, because “Why not me?” I On August 12th, 2014, I had a fully laryngectomy don’t need my original voice to show the ones I with a radical left side neck revision. In other words, love that I love them. That just takes two arms, a they cut me almost ear to ear, went into my neck willing heart, and a hug. and took a whole bunch of stuff out. It was, to date,
the most painful thing I have ever encountered. Everything for me changed that day. I had to learn to talk all over again. I have almost no sense of smell. I can’t laugh, and I can’t yell if I am upset. Breathing is harder for me now because I have to breathe through a hole in my neck that is covered by a filter to, you guessed it, filter out anything that might go directly into my lungs. It feels like I am constantly trying to breathe through a sweatshirt. I was left mute for almost 2 months after surgery while all of my incisions closed, with 37 staples across my neck that made me look like a modern day Frankenstein. It was an experience I would not wish upon my worst enemy, but I am thankful for the opportunity to have gone through it because the alternative was so, so much worse.
The number one thing that I try to do every day as I battle cancer is stay positive. I tell myself that I will have good hours, and I will have some really, really bad hours, but I won’t allow myself to have any bad days.
fears were realized. I still had small tumors in my body. When my scans had been taken prior to my surgery, they were so small that they weren’t visible. Not only that, but they were also now in a place that was inoperable. So, my joy and all of my relief at being free of cancer was once again stolen from me, because that is what cancer is. Cancer is a thief. Cancer strives to steal everything from you that makes you, you. It wants to break you down,
Turn the page ...
My wife, my family, and my friends really know me and who I was, but my children, my boys, are only 10 and 8. They are just now developing longterm memories that will build the foundations of the men they are going to become. What kind of an example would I be setting if I was angry every day, if I hated my life, or if I was bitter about my situation? What kind of a father would I be, and how would their memories be of me, if that were the case? After I was out and recovered from both surgery and radiation, life was good. I was told they had gotten everything during surgery, and the radiation had done its job--my doctors would just run a couple of small tests to confirm I was in remission and cancer-free, and we would then move on. The two weeks after that, when I thought I was cancerfree, were two of the best, most relaxed weeks of my life. Two weeks later, routine tests came back saying that my white blood cell count was elevated unexpectedly. So, it was back into the PET CT scan for my entire body, and that day our worst
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so you lose the will to fight. I was prideful in my voice and the identity it gave me. Cancer stole that from me. Cancer takes and takes because it wants you to stop fighting back, because that is how it wins. I am here to tell you it can take my voice, it can make me feel handicapped, but it can’t take me. It can’t take my love of life and it can’t take my pride in the life I have lived.
Don’t Walk Away From a Good Fight
to get into this clinical trial, I had to test positive for a gene sequence these particular drugs target. So, my drugs are targeting specific genes in my code and in the cancer, and they are going after those genes by shutting them down in the hopes they will shut down the cancer in the process. During this process, I started a Facebook page that I named “Don’t Walk Away From A Good Fight.” It started out as a way for me to journal and update my loved ones on my condition. Over time, however, it became both a place where I detail my fight for others to read and, if things don’t go my way in the end, a place for my children to reference and understand who their father is and was so that, when they are older, they know what it is to truly fight for the chance to be with the ones you love. There is no part of having cancer that doesn’t suck. It is a horrible, dignity-sucking experience. It is expensive from the drugs and treatment, to the hospital bills, hotel bills, and so on. It is a drain on more than just your wallet--it is a drain on your energy and your personality. I am beyond lucky to live in Northwest Arkansas and to call this area my home because my community has come to our aid in ways I cannot even begin to describe or list.
my mother Rebecca Banks, my brother Matthew Banks, and my nephew Julian Banks, along with my wife Kristianne, and my sons Sebastian “Bear” and Tristan “Super Tristan”.
After that PET CT, it was determined by my doctors that Winthrop Rockefeller could no longer help me, as I was no longer able to be cured through surgery and currently there is no cure for the type of cancer I have. My hope at this point resides in Houston, Texas at M.D. Anderson Cancer Institute’s clinical trial division. I am currently in what is called Phase 1 drug trial testing, which means the doctors are giving me drugs that are not yet FDA approved but have passed non-human testing. These drugs are now in the phase where they need to be tried on a very small group of humans. M.D. Anderson is at the forefront of cancer research, and I am on the tip of that spear. The cutting edge drugs you hear about and see on TV are what they are currently testing on me. I am not undergoing “chemo” the way it used to be, where they just pick a drug that matches a cancer type and they pump you full of it, and hope it kills the cancer in your system. I am in something called “targeted gene therapy.” In other words, in order
Cancer sucks, but it won’t beat me. I will try this clinical trial, and if it doesn’t work I will try the next one. I don’t need them all to work. I just need them to give me enough time to get to that one drug that does work. We all just need that one big break. We all just want enough time to watch our children grow, graduate from school, meet that special someone, get married, and start a family of their own. That is why I fight, and why I encourage others to fight. That is why I don’t have bad days, and why I wake up every day ready to attack it. So, hug your family, and tell the ones you love just how much you love them. Don’t wait for tomorrow, because tomorrow is promised to no one. You don’t truly understand the beauty of a sunny day and the warmth of the sun on your skin until you are told the days you will get to enjoy that feeling are limited. That is why I hope I can impart a bit of my true love of life and the zeal for which I now live it to my children. As I have heard in the past, “Tomorrow is a mystery, yesterday is history, today is a gift, that is why it is called the present.” I was asked to list if there were ways to help my family and I. One of my friends set up a GoFundMe page to help with the bills for all my medical supplies, bills, and travel to and from Houston and MD Anderson. That page is http://www.gofundme.com/BennBanks
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On May 2nd, Peekaboo Magazine was honored to host Northwest Arkansas’ third annual Birthday Party Expo. Families were able to enjoy bounce houses, art stations, free gaming, pizza, live entertainment, pony and camel rides, princesses and princes, giveaways, and much more! Each vendor also set up a birthday party preview experience. No birthday is complete without cake, so Walmart again welcomed guests with a cupcake and a showcase of multiple birthday cakes and cupcake ideas!
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Birthday Party
Expo
Last month, families were invited to the 3rd Annual Birthday Party Extravaganza at the Pinnacle Hills Promenade to experience many great birthday party hot spots!
! e f i L g n i t a r b e Cel
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uge H Thank you to our sponsors
Farmland Adventures Walmart Bakery Northwest Health System Kona Ice Crafty Cottage Partytime Ponies Little Giggles Indoor Play & Learn Rogers Police / Fire Dept Pink Tomato Rogers Activity Center Fun City Royal Inflatables Glasses & Mustaches Photobooth Fast Lane Entertainment The Little Gym Princess Party Creations Vintage Violet Crystal Bridges NWA Championship LPGA Steve Boger Camels Bricks 4 Kidz / Challenge Island Max Out Cooking Parties 5678 Dance War Eagle e camps lik Summer red by e ff those o dges and ri Crystal B Activity rs e g o R e th long with Center, a ivities like ct a r e summ A ming LPG the upco n hand o o were als giveaways! t with grea
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No party is without a complete fe guests! T w surprise h showcase is year’s expo d Anna, Els Cinderella, a Hero, Co , an American sm a few cam o, a firetruck, pigs, and els and little B Build-a-B earemy from ear.
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Learning begins with play. Little Giggles is an indoor playground providing a safe environment fostering educative, creative play for young children.
Loved by children and enjoyable fo parents, too! r
Camp Details: 2 - 5 yr olds (must be potty trained) Limited space available. Must reserve space before first day of camp. Themes include Frozen, Superheros, Pirates & Princesses! Guest appearances, music class, crafty cottage craft, themed games, open play, snacks, and much more! * 50% non refundable deposit is required, and balance due on the first day of camp.
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Everyone Everyone Has a D Has a Different Normal
Enduring Strength and Insight f
Enduring Strength and Insight from TEAM Teen Gracen Boxx
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“Having a skill and then losing it is like losing a part of yourself.”
W he se sh sh th de Au Ch Am wo th in sim kn ch
hen Gracen Boxx was 16 years old, her parents sat down with her for a serious talk. With a spirit of openness, she accepted the news her parents shared with seeming ease. They told her that she had been diagnosed with a degenerative genetic condition called Autosomal Recessive Spastic Ataxia of Charlevoix-Saguenay (ARSACS). Among other things, this meant that she would Gr one day need a wheelchair and that her speech ha challenges would intensify. Learning of her diagGracen Boxx, pictured above sh nosis simply confirmed what Gracen already knew Even though Gracen knew that her ability to walk in her heart. Her physical challenges would not gether entire childhood. Gracen’s mom, would diminish because of ARSACS, she neverJane any easier. anticipated that a car accident would require with progressive diseases struggle to her accept Gracen understands what it means to have a de- to use a wheelchair while still in high school. This and Gracen was and is no different.” In generative condition because she has courageously reality intensified her commitment to working Gra it istherapy. like losing part of yourself.” lived it throughout her entire childhood. Gracen’slosing hard in Gracen’sa immense compassion Th mom, Janet Boxx, shares, “I imagine most kidsof and understanding of the obstacles chil- hor diminished skills is a verysome distant with progressive diseases struggle to accept the dren face make her visits to Children’s Therapy Gracen, way their bodies disappoint them and Gracen wasfathom. TEAM aFor highlight of herthis week.distant She feelshorizon a strong has and is no different.” In Gracen’s words, “Having aher connection with children vulnerability confronting signifidaily life. Gracen’s in this skill and then losing it is like losing a part of your- cant daily challenges. For Gracen, “Everyone has andnormal. her ”family in athe tragic a different Time haswere not dulled ache car self.” The idea of losing independence because ofGracen but farhave more of missingphysical her sisters,injuries, but such feelings be- dev diminished skills is a very distant horizon thatsustained most young people cannot fathom. For Gracen,in come more normal. Her challenges with ARSACS the accident. this distant horizon has become an ever-present have become normal. Even her experiences with landscape in her daily life. Gracen’s vulnerability inEven the pain of frequent migraines havethat become though Gracen knew hernorability this landscape became even clearer when Gracen mal. She carries on. Therapy has enabled Gracen anticipated that a” car and her family were in a tragic car accident in De-ARSACS, “to maintainshe whatnever I have for as long as possible. With so much beyondstill her control, Gracen’s ability cember 2013. Gracen sustained physical injuries,wheelchair while in high school. This to choosehard to work hard provides hope, even when but far more devastating was the loss of her twoworking in therapy. Gracen’s immense life’s challenges seem unsurmountable. sisters in the accident.
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obstacles some children face make her vi highlight of her week. She feels a strong
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Together Everyone Achieves More
Ozark Literacy Council Teams with Local Architects and Architecture Students to Bring the Little Free Libraries to Washington County By Margot Jackson Lemaster, Ozark Literacy Council and contributing author Julia Trupp, Fay Jones School of Architecture
“I
love to see the wide range of people who stop by to check out the books… from little ones who can’t read to elderly folks,” said local Little Free Library steward Sarah Lueke. “The same goes for the books that show up in the library. Today I came home to find that someone had donated a big stack of books, including biographies, historical novels, and books about sports,” she said. Little Free Libraries are freestanding, kiosk-like structures that offer free books to members of the community with a “take a book, return a book” mindset. The first Little Free Library was built in 2009 by Todd Bol in Wisconsin. Since then, their numbers and popularity have grown exponentially across the globe. The Little Free Library movement has made its way into Northwest Arkansas, where the Ozark Literacy Council, in collaboration with the Fay Jones School of Architecture at the University of Arkansas and the Northwest Arkansas Chapter of the American Institute of Architects, present the Little Free Library Design Project: Building Literacy. Building Community. The goal of the project is to increase the number and reach of local Little Free Libraries and raise funds for OLC’s educational and outreach programs, while also promoting great design in public spaces. Local professional architects competed last fall to create the most innovative Little Free Library designs, while architecture students spent a spring studio designing and building their libraries. After bringing them to life, each unique design is now available for sponsorship and installation, and a celebration for this is in the works. Margot Jackson Lemaster, OLC’s Executive Director said, “The success of this project demonstrates that literacy and access to books are pillars of our community. We are thrilled to partner with local designers so that these books can be displayed in unique, creative, and high-quality ways.”
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The fifty-year-old Ozark Literacy Council, a nonprofit organization, felt this project was an ideal way to raise funds and increase awareness of OLC’s mission, which is to improve people’s lives through expanding and promoting literacy, ensuring all people in Washington County possess the literacy and language skills necessary to become fully participating members of their community. OLC provides free basic literacy and language services to roughly 300 area adults, through the help of 100 volunteer tutors and a staff of four. Lori Yazwinski Santa-Rita, chair of the Northwest Arkansas AIA Chapter, said, “Little Free Libraries demonstrate a deliberate approach to building stronger community identity and a sense of place. Several of the designs incorporate unique details, such as lighting and seating, to not only encourage interaction with the surrounding environment but also to pick up a book and read.” Supporters of the Little Free Library movement strengthen communities by fostering communal gathering spots to promote a love and curiosity for reading while sparking conversation for neighbors. There are roughly 25,000 Little Free Libraries worldwide in every U.S. state and 70 different countries, and more than a dozen have been set up in Northwest Arkansas. “It is important for students to see firsthand what they do can have such an influence on their community. It is a way for them to engage with a real client and deal with real design issues,” said Angie Carpenter, a faculty member in the Fay Jones School who taught the spring studio. “Hopefully, this collaboration will be the first of many to come.”
full ownership of the library, official registration on the Little Free Library website, library stewardship by literacy council volunteers, a featured spotlight on literacy council social media, and a site consultation with a professional architect.
For anyone interested in sponsoring a Little Free Library design, benefits include a choice of a structure designed by a professional or student, a name of an individual or company sponsor on the structure, inclusion in promotional materials, a table for 10 and recognition at the gala event, choice of library location (as city permits allow),
The Ozark Literacy Council will host the Little Free Library Gala in support of the project on June 4 at the Fayetteville Town Center. The event will showcase the designs, celebrate sponsors, and raise funds for OLC with Dan Ferritor serving as emcee for the evening. The Barbara Broyles Champion for Literacy award also will be given, and there will be live entertainment from regional band National Park Radio, a silent auction, wine and beer, and a buffet dinner. Sponsorship and gala information can be found at the Ozark Literacy Council website: ozarkliteracy.org or by calling 479-521-8250.
Dad's View
with Ben Lacy
Mourning Mornings Gang, we’ve almost made it. We are T-minus-not-very-many-days-left-ofschool and, although you probably shouldn’t coast the rest of the way, let’s be honest, you can coast the rest of the way. It is a bittersweet time of year for me. For the next few months, I won’t face the morning traffic maliciousness. However, I will miss all of my early
morning friends, like Big Bad Brad in his Beamer that tragically must not have turn signals despite the hefty price tag of his finely tuned German automobile that just cut me off without warning; Patty, mom of 5, who is chronically late and therefore misreads the school zone to say 250 MPH instead of 25 MPH; Psycho Suburban Sarah with her Arkansas baseball hat jammed onto her head just above her bright blue-lensed Ray Bans with one hand around a Vente Octuple Shot Espresso, one hand on her iPhone 6, and no hands on the wheel of her 3-ton wrecking machine; Barbara from Bella Vista (formerly of St. Paul) who wants to make sure she arrives on time for her 11:00 AM podiatrist appointment so she starts off at 7:00 AM,
only to blaze a trail down 71 at 17 MPH; Totally Texting Tina who must sit motionless through an entire left hand turn light so she can tell her BF OMG DMB @ AMP LOL; and, finally, lest I not forget, my never-ending string of Walmartian friends blocking traffic as they march into work across 8th street in perfect 10 foot increments so that traffic can rest at a perfect Zen standstill. Ah yes, the serenity of summer is nearly upon us. But, seriously though, the people I will most miss each morning are my closest compadres, my wingmen, my in-house DJs, my gum gobblers… my kids. Thankfully, I’m lucky enough to have the opportunity each school morning to transport the lunatics to the asylum--I mean, take the kids to school! Nothing against the wifey, trust me, she gets plenty of kiddo-time... right Mrs. L? Sure, most mornings the urchins are only functioning at half-capacity and not really into dad-babble, but it is our time, and I’m sure that continually forcing them to listen to my Hair Nation Spotify playlist doesn’t excite them; however, I’m adamant they be exposed to the classics. Summer mornings at the Dad’s View House are quite quiet... Mostly because the other crazy creatures in my casa sleep in very late during break. I’d say we have a Night-Owl-toMorning-Riser ratio of 4-1 in our house, meaning, I’m the only one stirring before 7 and often can come home for “lunch” to have “breakfast” with the rest of the gang. But, that doesn’t happen every day, and that’s the bummer of summer. The dad-kid time takes a wicked drop and those special, but usually quiet moments, on the way to school disappear. Of course, our trips to school together aren’t particularly monumental, and we rarely get into deep thoughts (although one time we got into a discussion about death which led me to ask the boys, 11 and 8, what they would do if I would pass away. Without hesitation, one said, “I’ll get the wheel and the other can get the pedals and head to California.” I’m somewhat disturbed that they have discussed this and have a clear and cooperative plan); however, this is “our time” and I’ll miss it. Sure, the summer should bring about more free family time (chuckle, chuckle), but, let’s face it, most families treat time like quicksand. Any available space is quickly filled. So, for the next couple o’ months I’ll be able to eat my Wheaties without listening to all-out warfare between the queen and the princess and have my coffee without the stress of hearing the boys say “Uh oh, I forgot I had homework” and catch a few minutes of SportsCenter instead of watching yet another episode of Sponge Bob. Life will be a bit quieter, but a lot lonelier.
www.peekaboonwa.com
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CALENDAR • 2015 Weekly Activities:
Special events:
Monday:
Saturday, June 6
Tuesday:
Free Kids Fishing Derby(ages 3-12) Siloam Springs Park and Recreation 7:30-10:30am The Fishing Derby is free and is limited to children ages 3 to 12. Prizes will be awarded in several categories. Bring your fishing pole and tackle and join in the fun at this popular event. FREE. Just Show up.
Little Giggles Every Monday 10:30AM Enrichment Monday Class Free with admission: Ages 2+ Monthly themes and weekly subjects explored in an interactive, play-based learning environment.
Little Giggles Every Tuesday 10:30AM and 3:45PM: “Little Artist” art class with Crafty Cottage
$8 for the class, discounted entry into Little Giggles if you stay to play, $5.50 (+tax)A fun 45 minutes with 2-3 art projects completed, taught by Miss Gigi
Family Program 11am Siloam Springs Public Library
Wednesday:
Little Sprouts at Botanical Gardens of the Ozarks 9:30am & 10:15am http://bgozarks.org/learn/education-classes/little-sprouts/
Thursday:
Storytime Fun - Siloam Springs Public Library 11:00 AM – 12:00 PM Preschool Program – Storytime with Ms. Laura
Friday:
Little Giggles Fridays (new!!!) Music with Ms. Megan!! 10:30am Free with admission!!! Singing, dance party and instrumental exploration!
Saturday:
Storytime at Barnes and Noble, Rogers and Fayetteville 11:00 AM Botanical Gardens of the Ozarks at the Cottage Children ages 7 to 11. Each class is Saturday morning from 10 a.m. to noon; Cost is $10 per child for members and $15 per child for nonmembers.
Library story times:
Bentonville Public Library: bentonvillelibrary.org Fayetteville Public Library: faylib.org Springdale Public Library: springdalelibrary.org Rogers Public Library: rogerspubliclibrary.org Siloam Springs Library: siloamsprings.com
38 June 2015
Grand Opening Bentonville Community Center 11am to 4pm www.bentonvillear.com/departments/ parks-and-recreation/community-center
17th Annual Fun Day 11am to 3pm Sources for Community Independent Living Services in Fayetteville will host the 17th annual Fun Day, a fun-filled day of music, boating and food especially designed for people with disabilities in Northwest Arkansas. Fun Day takes place at Prairie Creek Park pavilions at Beaver Lake.
Tuesday, June 9
Kick-off Family Program Activated Story Theatre 11am Siloam Springs Public Library
Wednesday, June 10
Crystal Bridges Family Time 7 to 8 pm Summer Family Time » Drum Safari Join Kansas City musicians Brandon and Teryn Draper on Walker Landing for a highenergy, interactive performance of music from around the world. Then join in on a community drum circle! Free.
Thursday, June 11
Crystal Bridges Library Sale Member Presale: 12-6pm Public Sale Friday - Saturday Come out for Crystal Bridges Library first book sale ever! More than 1,000 books for sale at prices ranging from 50¢ to $10 per book. Browse artist monographs and exhibition catalogs as well as books on European art, American art, decorative art, and architecture. All proceeds benefit the museum.
Saturday, June 13
Thurs., June 18
Magic/Bird Friday, June 12, 2015 - Sunday, June 14, Rogers Little Theater Another first in Arkansas from the writer of Lombardi, Eric Simonson.
Open Chess Play for Kids Bentonville Library 4pm - 5pm On the third Wed of each month, school-age children are invited to drop in and play Chess. All levels of players are welcome. Free
Campy Cap Creatures BGO at The Cottage 10am. Campy Cap Creatures with Leah Saffian – fun art projects using recycled materials with Leah Saffian, Washington County environmental educator. Ages 7-11. Cost is $10 per child for members and $15 per child for nonmembers.
Girl’s Night Out - Summer Downtown Siloam Springs 5-8pm Music, refreshments, specials and door prizes highlight downtown merchants and provide a fun way to get extra downtown shopping time!
Wings & Wheels Swap and Show 2015 Bentonville Municipal Airport (NOT XNA) 2440 S.W. Aviation St / iflysummit.com Come view antique planes, cars, and motorcycles. Awards and giveaways, activities for kids, and aircraft rides available. Admission: Free
Sat., June 20
Tuesday, June 16
Monday, June 22
Laugh and Learn Lab School Age Springdale Public Library 4:30pm - Grades K-3rd Join Kansas City musicians Brandon and Teryn Draper on Walker Landing for a high-energy, interactive performance of music from around the world. Then join in on a community drum circle! Free.
Wed., June 17
Spring Carnival Parson’s Stadium, Springdale rodeooftheozarks.org Pride of Texas brings fun for all ages. Armbands available.
Summer Solstice Night at the Skyspace 8:30-10pm Join us at the Skyspace for an outdoor screening of this unconventional film, followed by telescope stargazing. Free. Register.
Walmart NWA LPGA Championship Pinnacle Hills Country Club Official LPGA Tour Event featuring 144 of the top female golfers in the world.
Tue., June 23
Family Program 11am Siloam Springs Public Library Mad Science
Thurs., June 25
Northwest Arkansas Food Festival The Amp
June The inaugural NW Arkansas Food Festival will take place Thursday, June 25 and Friday, June 26 at the Walmart AMP and will consist of two events, Taste of NW Arkansas hosted by Carla Hall and NW Arkansas Beer & Burger Fest.
Saturday, June 27
Eggs and Larvae and Pupae, Oh My! BGO at The Cottage 10am. June 27 | Eggs and Larvae and Pupae, Oh My! – butterfly life and activities with Kitty Sanders, BGO Butterfly House mentor. Ages 7-11. Cost is $10 per child for members and $15 per child for nonmembers.
Tues. June 30
Free Summer Concert in the Garden Botanical Garden of the Ozarks 7pm bgozarks.org/events-2/free-summerconcerts-bgo/nonmembers.
Saturday, June 27
Eggs and Larvae and Pupae, Oh My! BGO at The Cottage 10am. Oh My! – butterfly life and activities with Kitty Sanders, BGO Butterfly House mentor. Ages 7-11. Cost is $10 per child for members and $15 per child for nonmembers.
Tuesday, June 30 Free Summer Concert in the Garden Botanical Garden of the Ozarks 7pm bgozarks.org/events-2/free-summerconcerts-bgo/nonmembers.
To Make Time Stand Still
The unique perspective on life and fatherhood through the lens of a professional photographer
Story and Photos by: Luke Davis, Father, Husband and Owner/Photographer at Main Street Studios
I
was laying down with my son, True, on his little boy bed, telling him a story like I do most evenings. He curls up next to me and listens as I make up stories about a fictional boy named Roger who lives on a farm and has all kinds of adventures. True loves it, and secretly, I love that he loves it. I tell him these stories at bedtime. It’s our little thing; our together time. Through these stories I can instill confidence and character, morality and imagination. No matter how crazy that three-yearold has been and no matter how disobedient he is, it’s often forgotten with a hug, a kiss, and an “I love you so much” at the end of the day, after a story about a boy named Roger. It was during one of those bedtime stories that my wife stepped in the door and took a quick photo, and I am so glad she did. I love that time with my son, and I love that photo of that little moment to keep my focus on the big picture. I own a small business and my wife, Ellen, is a stay-at-home mom for our two boys, and honestly, I wouldn’t want it any other way. I do work a lot; therefore, I really cherish my family time at home. Between work and home, I guess you could say that there is not a lot of down time for me, and I think that is how I like it.
42 June 2015
I am a professional photographer and the owner of Main Street Studios in downtown Siloam Springs. I love my job, I love my family, and I am passionate about both. Not only do I allow for there to be a crossover from my personal life to my professional life, I embrace it. My photography and business impact how I interact with my family and friends. Likewise, my family has given me a new appreciation for my photography and for capturing the relationships between people. Now that I have children, I feel as if I have a better understanding of what parents are hoping for when they come into my studio. Photography is something I am passionate about. That passion, coupled with the past 15 years of being a professional photographer has truly changed the way I view the world. No matter what the situation is, I’m constantly paying attention to lighting, considering how I might compose the scene, and looking for the peak in the action. It’s sort of a blessing and a curse. A curse because I cannot relax my mind and get away from photography mentally. A blessing because I am constantly aware of small moments, fleeting seconds that most people might overlook. I attribute it to my photography career that I take note of and find significance in ordinary occasions.
I think the recognition of those flashes in time makes life richer and helps me define, moment by moment, what is most important in my life. Often, those small moments of significance are just that, seconds of time that I notice and appreciate. However, since I am a photographer, there have been quite a few instances that I was able to grab a camera and freeze those moments in time, allowing me to go back and think upon those moments a bit longer and reflect. Years ago, I was a photojournalist for the Kansas City Star, and I suppose I have always been a photojournalist at heart. Even in my portrait and commercial photography, I like to have a storytelling aspect to each image.
I love being around people and capturing on camera some form of truth about who they are and what they love. I love seeing the bride walking down the aisle, and as I click my camera, I freeze that nervous excited smile as she gazes upon her grooms face. I love the opportunity to catch with my camera the father of the bride as he wipes his cheek, symbolizing years of love in that single tear. I love meeting with an exhausted new mom and dad as they walk bleary-eyed into my studio for their newborn’s first photo session. They’ve been up all night with a crying baby, but never before have they been so much in love. I love chatting it up with recently engaged couples, talking about how they met and discussing their dreams for the perfect future together. And I notice how, between each photo I take during their engagement photo session, they keep holding hands. I love observing how proud the patriarch and matriarch of a family are as they stand among thirty of their children, grandchildren and greatgrandchildren for a family portrait. Photography has introduced me to so many people and taught me so many lessons about life. Being a photographer has become who I am, and I don’t flip that switch off when I go home to my family. I look at life in pictures, individual moments frozen in time. A photograph can conjure a memory, evoke a powerful feeling, and, in itself, symbolize a time in my life that I never want to forget. Turn the page ...
Purses • T-Shirts • Picture Frames • Bulletin Boards • Flower Pots • Paint-Your-Own Pottery • Ooh La La Spa
S t udi
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Pottery Painting, Parties, & More
Come create with us!
Summer Art Camps 2015 New Fayetteville location
Now Open!
479-268-3190 or 479-619-6085 | 5212 Village Parkway, Suite 11 | Rogers
www.imagine-art-studio.com
When I look back on my life, when I think about memories with my wife, and when I contemplate the significant moments of being a father, I observe those times in my mind with individual photographs. I don’t know if other people are like that. I am, and I guess I assume I’m that way because of the hundreds of thousands of photos I have taken in my life. Photography has trained me to see the world differently. I remember that photo, selfie, that I took at the Siloam Springs Christmas parade in December of 2008. There was excitement in my eyes and in my sweet Ellen’s eyes as well. Just a couple of hours earlier, I had dropped to one knee and asked her if she had any plans for the rest of her life. So there we were at the very small-townish Christmas parade, showing off that diamond ring to everyone we knew in the crowd. The adventure of our relationship had just become real and we were beyond excited.
There is the photo of us looking like lobsters on our honeymoon because we didn’t put on sunscreen one afternoon. Oh, and that picture of us sitting in the kitchen the first night after signing the contract for our first house. We talked and ate sandwiches on the floor with no furniture, no dishes, and no silverware. It was one of the best meals ever!
a
There is that great photo of Ellen and me during our wedding ceremony. Being a photographer, I tried to figure out a way to partially photograph my own wedding! I hid a camera in a plant on the stage of the church, and I planned to use a remote trigger to take my own photos during the ceremony. Ellen found out about my plan, however, and preferred that my focus be on her during our wedding ceremony. I decided that it would be wise to take her advice, so I gave the remote to my best man and he took the photo. It is hanging on the wall in our bedroom to this day.
To Make Time
Stand Still
I remember the picture of my first son, True, maybe two minutes after he was born. As I looked through my camera at him, I realized that I didn’t know this little baby boy at all, but I knew, from that moment forward, I would love him fiercely for the rest of my life. I have had so many moments with my son, True, over the past three years that he drives me crazy and he does exactly what I don’t want him to do. But for every single teeth-grinding, hair-pulling minute I have had with that ornery boy, there are dozens filled with laughter and honest, sincere joy. I love being his daddy. I took a photo of True recently with my iPhone and posted it to Instagram. We had gone on a walk around downtown Siloam Springs and he was asking me questions about everything a three-year-old could think of. I had my phone out and looked down to see him standing exactly in my cast shadow from the afternoon sun. I took a photo, and I’m glad I did, because I think it symbolizes my role at this point in his life. He looks up to me, and I love having that little shadow in my life.
44 June 2015
Just three months ago, my amazing wife delivered our second child. We waited to find out the gender of this baby, so I had no idea whether my future would be bows and baby dolls
or family wrestlemania. Our son, Hutch, joined our lives, and the love I have for my family is growing. I bribed my three-year-old, True, with candy and the opportunity to play a game on my phone, if he would hold his five-day-old baby brother, Hutch, in the studio for one quick photo. It worked, and we have a photo that our family will treasure forever. I remember thinking in that moment about how those two little boys will be the best of friends for the rest of their lives and they don’t even know it yet. I could go on and on recalling specific photos in my life and what they mean to me.
Photographs are a powerful thing. They are a portal to the past. They show us where we’ve been. They are measuring sticks that help us determine what is most important. They remind us, with brutal honesty, about the passage of time. And hopefully, if we let them, photographs will teach us to treasure and respect all of the little blessings in our lives. While at Main Street Studios, I’ve had the honor of photographing big life moments for countless clients that often become friends. I’ve taken senior photos, engagement photos, and then wedding photos of the same people. I’ve captured a baby in their first week and then continued to photograph them for the next 10 years. I get to walk through life with family and friends as I document their lives. It’s a privilege, and it has taught me so much.
Creative Cooking with Kids Certified Healthy Hands Cooking Instructor
Cooking Skills that foster a healthy lifestyle
Healthy Cooking Classes • Kids Camps • After School Programs • Birthday Parties • Susan Werling For ages 2-13
I have discovered that if I can make time stand still every once in a while, I can better appreciate it when it moves forward. I don’t want to miss the little moments.
479-518-0733 / creativecooking15@ Susan Werling gmail.com 479-518-0733 / creativecooking15@gmail.com www.healthyhandscooking.com/instructor/susan
Rituals of Life
by : Eva Lebens
Mountain biking
Nice eve - nice-eve.com • Rootines - rootines.com
Eva interviews people living in NWA about their family routines and rituals. This month Bea Apple shares her story. Bea is the owner of the Pressroom. Bea is married to Rob and they have three children; Robby (8), Judah (5) and Iris (2).
Meet Bea.
Coffee, routines and childhood dreams
I was born and raised in the Bronx. Being a child of new immigrants from South Korea, my sister and I had an early education in the “school of hard knocks”. We basically took care of each other. We both had wild imaginations and spent long afternoons making up imaginary worlds. We moved to Rogers when I was 13 and under the love and guidance of my aunt and uncle we got to experience the joys of childhood. Even though they worked long hours, they were always there for us.
My children are 2, 5, and 8. They all have different needs and we try to spend time with them separately. We just got into mountain biking and we’ve been exploring the trails with my eldest son. He’s the brainy one and very comfortable amongst stars and books, but I also want him to feel comfortable in his body. Struggling through challenges and experiencing the rewards of becoming an expert at something helps to develop persistence and toughness, something my parents have instilled in me. I have really grown to love mountain biking because it is challenging both mentally and physically and most importantly it’s fun! You’re at one with nature and riding fast downhill is magical.
Reliving my childhood
I’m not a structured person by any means, but I do think routines and structure provide stability and security. I design frames and I’m flexible within those frames. You could compare it with a coffee cup; you need it to hold a liquid, but you can decide how delicious the content will be. I’m reliving my childhood with my own children and it’s an amazing adventure.
Family time We live in a very structured fashion during the week. On the weekends we take our time; we snuggle in the big bed and drink coffee. All of us, yes, kids included, ha ha, but they have lots of cream and sugar! We often go out of town with the family. I like American food and we all love Susan’s in Springdale, a locally owned place that has been around forever. We also enjoy hiking around Lake Sequoyah. For our family dinners, I don’t prepare traditional Korean dishes as much as I should, but the whole family does love a rice dish called bibimbap. It literally means “mix rice”. It’s pretty special when I do make it, because it’s the one meal we can all agree on.
The same applies to my family. Evening routines are set; we eat dinner together and read books before going to bed. Other than that, we’re as flexible as possible. Our children are very curious and we nurture that curiosity by guiding them, answering questions, and exposing them to new things. I’m very privileged I can provide my children with a lot of opportunities I didn’t have growing up; we ride our bikes, soon they will start music lessons, and this summer they will see the ocean for the first time! I’m reliving my childhood with my own children and it’s an amazing adventure.
bff Bentonville Film Festival
Peekaboo V IP Blue Carpet Event at Arvest BallPark
L
ast month, during the first Bentonville Film Festival, Peekaboo Magazine was honored to host a VIP Blue Carpet Event for kids during the festival’s League of their Own Night at Arvest Ball Park. Families had the opportunity to get fun “swag,” walk the Blue Carpet, jump to their heart’s content in three super bounce houses and slides, take a silly keepsake photo at the Glasses and Mustaches photo booth, enjoy a craft sponsored by Crayola and Imagine Studios, and watch a special League of their Own Reunion game. No party would be complete without dessert, so Walmart Bakery provided each guest with a baseball inspired cupcake! It was a fun night that will definitely be one for the memory book!
Imagine Studios came out to work with the kids to do a Hollywood inspired craft using products from Crayola!
A Big Thank you to our Swag Bag Sponsors Outdoor Cap Photo Credit: Brittany Smith Brittany is a senior at Springdale High School who has a passion for photography, travel and music. Find her on Instagram at @brittanysmth1
Armitron
Crayola
www.peekaboonwa.com
51
Inside the #NWAChampionship
An Event for All Ages
Golf is a sport for players of any age. It’s a hobby and a skill that can last a lifetime, and a unique physical activity that a father can do with his daughter or a grandfather with his grandson. The game teaches life skills, such as integrity, confidence, patience, and persistence. With summer heating up and winter a fading memory, enthusiasts are back on the course, honing those skills, and once again perfecting their game—a neverending endeavor for even the best of golfers. But the rising temperatures and greening grass aren’t the only things signaling the start of June. The buzz around town for the upcoming LPGA tournament tells us summer has officially arrived. Golfers and families have looked forward to the last week of June all year, the time when the Walmart NW Arkansas Championship presented by P&G will return for its ninth year at Pinnacle Country Club in Rogers. There, 144 of the world’s best female golfers will compete for a $2 million purse and showcase the best this sport has to offer. Golfers and non-golfers alike stare in amazement at the ladies of the LPGA tour as they make the game look easy while showcasing those virtues of patience, integrity, confidence, and persistence (among many other skills) needed to play this sport at a professional level. Whether you play the game or not, are a beginner or wannabe pro, the NW Arkansas Championship inspires people of all ages, just as the sport itself does.
Spectators marvel at the girls’ ability to sink the ball in the hole even under the toughest of circumstances. They cheer for their favorites and maybe even pick up a tip or two, and for those who are decidedly not aspiring professional golfers themselves, the event offers a unique outing for families that only happens once a year here in Northwest Arkansas. The NW Arkansas Championship offers something for all ages with the unique backdrop of a professional golf tournament. At the event’s signature hole—#17, the Gatorade Loudest Hole on Tour, spectators are encouraged to get loud and cheer on their favorite players. The Ballpark Fan Pavilion on the 17th hole offers fans a bird’s eye view and a free place to watch the action. Adjacent to the 17th hole is the tournament’s Walmart Kid’s Center presented by DOVE, which is great place for parents to cool down while the kids create an arts and crafts masterpiece or even try their hand at some putt-putt golf (shhh...there may even be some ice cream involved.) In addition to ice cream and putt-putt, the tournament is a great place to inspire the next generation of professional golfers. The ladies of the LPGA make great role models for kids of all ages and are very accessible at the event for spectators and fans. Many spectators come back year after year to follow their favorites—Stacy Lewis, Michelle Wie, Lydia Ko, Morgan Pressel, and Paula Creamer...just to name a few. Players welcome the crowds and can be met after their rounds in the Hallmark Autograph Alley behind the 18th hole.
Horsemanship and more...
Camp
Triple P Farms
Learning to Lead Join us as we learn: Safe horsemanship skills Communication skills Tack care Leather working and tooling Working with rope and knot tying
Summer sessions available Call for details
As in the game of golf, the tournament is about much more than what happens on the golf course. At its core, it’s a fun summer activity for the community to enjoy—a week-long series of events to make Northwest Arkansas a better place to live and work. Tournament week includes charity donations, the annual community concert, the 5k @ the LPGA, the NW Arkansas Food Festival and much more. So, whether you love golf, ice cream, or fun activities for all ages, the Walmart NW Arkansas Championship presented by P&G is the prefect outing to add to you summer calendar.
479-426-5170
thepattonfarm@gmail.com www.facebook.com/tripleplessons
June 22-28, 2015 Like golf, the Walmart NW Arkansas Championship presented by P&G can be enjoyed by sons, daughters, fathers, mothers, grandfathers, grandmothers and everyone in between. Make time between summer camps and play dates to stop by the tournament and check it out if you’ve never been before. Put it on your Father’s Day wish list or surprise dad with a date to the LPGA. Ticket prices are affordable for a family of any size, and kids get in free with a ticketed adult! Visit www.NWAChampionship.com to purchase your tickets today.
www.peekaboonwa.com
53
TheDalai
Mama
by: Kristin Hvizda
Deep thoughts (well not that deep) on life as a mom, wife, and transplant in NWA
Que Sera Sera. I rarely take trips overnight without my children. On the rare occasion that I do travel, my husband typically stays home to care for the kids. I feel 100% comfortable with his standard of care. So, my past travel arrangements commenced with minimum fear and foreboding. Recently, however, my husband and I both went across the country for a wedding and left our children with their grandmother (my husband’s mom). Although my mother-in-law has raised three kids of her own, my children only see her in the flesh a handful of times per year (excluding weekly Facetime dates). She also isn’t experienced in food allergies and asthma (which, unfortunately, my children have), so, naturally, I was a nervous wreck about leaving them. On one hand, I was beyond excited for a weekend away with my husband. On the other hand, I was filled with panic that something terrible would happen to my children, or possibly to my husband and I, while away. The trip lasted only three days, but, prior to leaving, the “what if ’s” began flooding my mind and my nerves felt like the little egg shakers my daughter plays with at music class. I figured I wouldn’t even be able to enjoy our first trip away together. I resigned myself to a weekend peppered with panic attacks and episodes of hyperventilation. I prepared for this three day trip for weeks. I created a reference binder for my mother-in-law, complete with pull tabs for every scenario that could possibly occur during our time away. I cleaned and stocked the storm shelter, threw away any unsafe food for my children, cooked meals, and made signs all over the house with reminders. My mother-in-law is completely capable of caring for our children, but still, there was this inner conflict urging me not to let my guard down. I was even questioning whether this fear was “mother’s
54 June 2015
instinct” and if I should make my husband stay home “just in case.” Rationally, I know that I overworry when it comes to my children; yet I allow this fear to take the driver seat more times than I’d care to admit. It’s not just traveling that sends me over the edge either; it’s sending them to a new school, possible anaphylaxis, fear over kidnapping, molestation, snake bites, or any other terrible thing I see on the news, in a movie, or a TV drama. I’m not exactly sure when I became this person, but I’d venture to guess it was sometime between the birth of my first child and our arrival home after the hospital delivery. I was such a free spirit pre-children. I was a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants, risk-taking, life-loving, fun chick who wasn’t scared of anything. Now I feel like I’m filled to the brim with fear and anxiety! I’m always six steps ahead. I have to plan for everything in hopes that my precautions will keep accidents and tragedies at bay. My pocketbook, which was once the size of a wallet and contained my license, credit card, phone, and lip-gloss, is now the size of a small village and carries everything from snacks to first aid. I even come equipped with a keychain attachment that cuts seatbelts and breaks car windows just in case we are ever trapped underwater in our car. Now that I’m a mom, I feel compelled to imagine every emergency situation and concoct a plan on how to survive and rescue two others in the process. It’s exhausting! I know a lot of moms struggle with this same compulsive worrying. In our world of 24/7 news, the internet, and social media, fear is being sold by every media outlet. It’s no wonder we mothers are in a constant state of anxiety about our children and their safety. Information overload fuels our worries and creates a different parental experience than that of our mothers. So, we are left worrying our motherhood away, while our own mothers can only offer the old adage but timelessly unhelpful, “Don’t worry about it.” But, perhaps, maybe, it is that simple... though we’d hate to admit it.
When one is a mother, with seemingly so much to lose, it’s hard to just let go and hope for the best. What if we can’t control our destiny or that of our children? What if fear, worry, and a compulsion to control do nothing but make us miserable? While we’re planning for a disaster that may never occur, we’re missing out on the joy of the moment, and --not to freak you out--it ends up being the things that you never even consider happening, that actually do. For instance, about a month ago, on a random and quiet Thursday night, my husband and I were watching TV on the couch. The kids were safely sleeping in their beds and, as the clock struck 10PM, a drunk driver drove his GMC Yukon into our house. Thank God no one was hurt, but the experience was terrifying! While I was busy worrying about my children dry-drowning or accidentally inhaling a citronella candle, a car crashed through the office of our home. I never guessed something like that would happen. It never even crossed my mind to have a plan for this scenario. Yet, it happened and you know what? You muster the strength to deal. When people rally around and support you, the unthinkable becomes manageable. After the initial shock and anger subsided, I was left with a valuable lesson. I could worry my life away about things that may or may not happen at some distant point in the future, or I could be in the here and now, let go of my fear, and enjoy my life. Apparently it’s easier said than done, because although all that made sense to me in a rational, “live and let live” way, there I stood not even a full month after the accident, a nervous wreck over leaving my kids for a weekend. Letting go is apparently a longer process than I had hoped. The trip has now come and gone and after the initial first few torturous hours of leaving my children behind, I gradually began to feel better (with the help of some Sauvignon Blanc). I had a great time with my husband, the wedding was amazing, the children survived, and my fears never came to fruition. The children were actually super
well-adjusted and, according to my mother in law, they asked for us maybe once. Now that I have this trip under my belt, I will hopefully feel more comfortable leaving my children in the future. I will always be a planner when it comes to my kids. I will not stop preparing for emergencies and making binders when I feel it is appropriate. I am determined to find a happy medium between being prepared and responsible and allowing worry to dictate my life. Admittedly, I am not a positive thinker by nature. It takes a conscious effort for me to think optimistically and create joy in my mind. I used to think that our thoughts were uncontrollable, but I’m beginning to realize that a moment after a thought pops into our mind, we are choosing to entertain it. Simply having the knowledge that we possess the power to create the positive headspace we long for, imparts a sense of power and freedom that we in fact have control of our worrying minds. Here I find myself in a life I’ve longed to live, and I don’t want to waste it worrying. I can’t be the only one with this wish... So, let’s choose to shut the door on our worrying minds. Let us choose to step off the hamster wheel, and perhaps that decision alone is enough to spark the thought change that must take place. By realizing we create our thoughts and patterns of thinking, we no longer have to live under the illusion that we are a hostage of worry. It’s going to take work, since literally with every new thought we have a choice on whether to entertain it or let it go. Instead of worrying, maybe we can choose to surrender to the notion that what will be, will be; there is a plan for all of us. In doing so we may be able to dismantle the enormous pressure we’ve built upon our shoulders by trying to control everything. Motherhood seems as if it could be a journey of either fear or faith. Which do you choose?
“Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.” --Unknown
This article is taken from a recent speech Katie Andrews, a student at Bentonville High School, presented at our recent Girls on the Run Luncheon. We are proud of her and what this GOTR Alumni is doing in her life.
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really love school, but I bet it’s no different than when you were in high school. It is impossible to thrive or even survive high school without friends and activities. Many of my best friends run cross country and track with me at BHS. We have fun running together, but we also see each other at our worst-- when we are miserable, tired, or injured, and the last thing we want to do is run. That’s okay, because we trust and take care of each other. I’m confident my team and I will stay close for a long time, even after high school. I am blessed to have an amazing group of friends to navigate high school. I have found myself. Sadly, not every girl has. There are so many people who are alone in high school... People who don’t know where they belong or who they belong with. People who aren’t themselves so they can win the never-ending battle for popularity. People who are limited from being the best they can be because of gender, race, size, or religion.
In the third grade, one of my best friends and I got involved with Girls on the Run like most girls do--our moms signed us up. Let me just remind the parents that we don’t always like it when you sign us up for stuff! Well, this was one time it worked out great. We both absolutely loved the fun atmosphere, the running, and the lessons that came out2015 of every practice. 58 June
I couldn’t wait for practice each day. At the beginning of every practice they would teach us a life lesson or life skill to help us understand ourselves, relationships, teamwork, and the world we live in. I loved the fun games we played with the lessons and the satisfaction I felt when earning a prize for each lap we ran. I looked forward to seeing our coach; she was my running buddy. She is the first person I think of when someone says “Girls on the Run.” Every day I would run with her, and she would push our group to run a little farther-just one step further, just a couple seconds longer. Her encouraging words and support gave me confidence and made me realize that I COULD do it. I looked up to her. She believed in me! Running is different than every other sport. There isn’t anything you need in order to run other than a shirt, shorts, tennis shoes, and mental toughness. It’s just you and the world. When people ask me why I run, I normally just shrug and say I don’t know. But the truth is, nothing in the world beats the feeling of accomplishment when you are finished and you feel invincible. There is definitely truth to the term “runner’s high.” You just want to run more and more, and you can’t wait for the next practice, the next chance to run. Your confidence continues to grow! Some days I amaze myself and some days I am glad it is over--but no matter what, I am always glad I learned to persevere and be myself. That’s why I run. I still think back to how Girls on the Run affects me today and the girls I met through the program. Through Girls on the Run, I realized girls can do just as much as boys, and there are no limitations, just excuses we have created or that society has created for us. Girls can be doctors, surgeons, engineers, or even a part of the military. No limits, just possibilities. I am still close to my friend who signed up with me, even though she didn’t continue running. We look back and laugh at those fun, carefree days. She is one of the most loving and encouraging people I know. I think about how it taught me compassion, joy, encouragement, and responsibility. Young girls need to feel that. The feeling you accomplished something huge on your own after the race is over
with is a reward that everyone needs to experience. That is exactly what young girls need in elementary school before they grow up and face the challenges of high school and beyond. We have a responsibility to be an example to these young girls. We have a responsibility to equip them with what they need to not only survive, but also to thrive in their teenage years. We have a responsibility to give these girls a chance to be themselves as a kid, teenager, and adult. That is our responsibility. I am grateful for Girls on the Run. All of the supporters take the responsibility seriously and support this wonderful program. It’s because of this very program that I was introduced to the sport I excel in today. It’s because of the supporters that Girls on the Run has changed one million girls’ lives, one girl at a time!
Girls on the Run of Northwest Arkansas is a lifechanging, non-profit program for girls in the 3rd through 8th grade. Our mission is to inspire girls to be joyful, healthy and confident using fun, experience-based curriculum which creatively integrates running. For more information on the program, go to girlsontherun.com , like us on facebook or email amenda.lacy@girlsontherun.org
Not His Time STORY BY: Samantha Keith, WRITTEN by: Frances Wilson Photos by: Jonna Nixon, red house photography
Northwest Arkansas is known as a popular stopping point for motorcyclists from all over the country--just ask the attendees of the wildly successful “Bikes, Blues and BBQ” festival held annually in Fayetteville! Motorcycle riding can be an exhilarating, intimate, and independent way to see the country, and the culture is often likened to a wild, widelyaccepted family. However, there can be hidden costs for motorcycle enthusiasts, such as is the likelihood of being involved in a deadly or near-deadly crash, which, incidentally, is 26 times higher in a motorcycle than in a car. Samantha Keith, who lives with her family in Northwest Arkansas, knows first-hand the toll this can take because her husband, Brandon, was involved in a terrible, widely-publicized accident of this kind two years ago. Peekaboo sat down with Samantha to hear her family’s story.
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o give some background, I was single when I moved from California to NWA in 2005. My family, all LSU alumni, wanted to move back to their roots in the south. Brandon, on the other hand, was born and raised in Texas and moved here in 1999, when his mom got a job offer. We didn’t meet until 2006, about a year after I moved here. Oddly enough, we met on Dickson Street in downtown Fayetteville while I was out with friends and he was working at a popular bar. A few days later, we went on our first date and have been together ever since! He proposed in May of 2007, and we were married on November 11, 2007. The numbers 11/11/07 are tattooed on Brandon’s ring finger. We had some difficulties getting pregnant with our first child, but, at 6:43AM on May 5, 2010, we finally had our sweet, 6 pounds and 9 ounces bundle of joy...after 17 grueling hours of labor! Our second, as of yet still nameless baby boy is due on June 19th of this year, and, I’ll tell you what, we have had a talk with the Lord about providing me with a shorter labor! However, it’s a miracle we’re even going through this. For a while, we weren’t sure if this kind of future for our family was even in the cards. I suppose the first thing people ask us, once they hear about how awful Brandon’s motorcycle accident was...why have a motorcycle in the first place? I’d start by
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saying though I’m not big on riding bikes myself-- when Brandon didn’t call at the usual time. When, they make me WAY too nervous--my parents both at 3:40PM, I got a call from Al, Brandon’s coride Harleys. My mom has been riding motorcycles worker, I was barely paying attention to what he her whole life, and they are definitely her passion. was saying. “Hey Sam,” he said, “this is Al. I work Brandon’s job at 529 Midtown, a custom motorcycle with Brandon at 529.” shop in Fayetteville, has encouraged his lifelong passion for motorcycles. He always admired them “I know who you are,” I said, absently, “What’s up?” and wanted one, though we never bought one “Sam,” Al said with a strange note in his voice, ourselves, probably because my own mindset has “Brandon has been in an accident on a bike, and always been “no bikes.” The thing is, the motorcycle that Brandon was riding on that fateful day actually wasn’t even his! Brandon is shop manager at 529 and, as part of his duties for the day, he was test driving a There are many scars still left bike his boss from the accident--some you can had just gotten see, such as on Brandon’s body and and took it on the car and motorcycle left to get a part totalled, but most you can’t. from a store only about two miles away. Two miles, he thought, would be no big deal. He’d go slow, barely over 30 miles per hour, and everything would be fine. After all, he’d been on dozens of rides with his boss, borrowing his extra bike. So, Brandon left the helmet and it’s really bad.” protective gear at the shop. He’d never been in any My breath caught in my throat. “How bad?” I kind of accident before then, and we’d never lost asked, “Where?!” anyone we knew, either. “He’s not breathing. An ambulance is taking him What’s interesting about the “not wearing a to the hospital now.” helmet” scenario--a fact the media absolutely “Is he alive?” I whispered. reamed us for without mercy after the accident was “I don’t know,” said Al. “I don’t know.” publicized--was that not wearing a helmet actually saved his life. Now, I would absolutely never recommend riding without one, but, in our case, his head needed the room to expand and relieve the pressure caused by trauma. Brandon’s head injury was so intense that his skull cracked open in three places, almost like a puzzle. A large vein in his neck was bleeding heavily into his brain, and, once he went into the emergency room, it became quickly apparent the vein needed to clot before they operated. Because he wasn’t wearing a helmet, his head literally opened up to relieve the pressure. It saved him, and for that I’m forever grateful, but his head was HUGE! But, I’m getting ahead of myself. May 16, 2013, what would end up being the worst day of my life, started the usual way, with nothing out of the ordinary to indicate the horrible events to come. Brandon went to work that day for his shift and texted that he loved me at about 8:00AM. I was used to not hearing from him until after 2:00 in the afternoon, when we’d both be a little less busy with our jobs and he could give me a call to ask about my day and how I was doing. That particular day, however, was the first day of work for a new girl I was training at my store, Nine Months Later, and she came in at 2:00PM, so I didn’t even notice
I put the phone down, instantly losing it, my body shaking harder than it ever has before. I got it together long enough to call my best friend, who had our then 3-year-old son with her and was able to come to watch my store for me. I told her not to tell our son anything, as I didn’t know what was happening myself. I left immediately. I have no idea how I drove myself to Washington Regional on I-540, but somehow I made it intact. I called both his parents and mine, though I don’t know how they understood me talking through all the crying. His mom was on her way to Disney World, and my mom was in Eureka, where she lived, but they all dropped what they were doing and came immediately to our side. His boss and his best friend would both be at the hospital within 45 minutes of Brandon’s arrival. I remember a nurse from the ER calling me while I was en route because the hospital team had his phone, and they were able to get into the address book and see who to call. He had labeled my number “SAMANTHA-wife ICE,” as I had done with my phone, so the hospital would know who to call in an emergency. She merely said it was bad
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Not His Time and asked if I was on my way already. I asked if he was alive, and she told me they had placed him on a ventilator because he wasn’t breathing on his own. She said as soon as I arrived they would have more information. When I pulled up to the hospital, Brandon’s boss’ wife was waiting for me, and a chaplain met me as soon as I walked through the door--talk about the worst feeling! He tried to take me aside and comfort me, but I was, understandably, a “hot mess,” asking why no one could tell me whether or not my husband was alive. A doctor came into the waiting room a few minutes later, which calmed me down a little bit, but not much. He said they really weren’t sure if they were going to be able to save him or not, but they were going to do absolutely everything possible. At that, I was numb all over. I can’t even explain the feeling of hearing those words spoken to you about your spouse, your partner, and your best friend. It was an utter nightmare. That night, once the news broke on social media with his name, we literally had 40 people keeping a vigil with us in the ICU waiting room where we had been transferred from the ER after about an hour of being in the hospital. Dr. Larry Armstrong, a neuro- specialist, was assigned to Brandon. He had to have surgery during which a vein was removed from his leg to stop the bleeding in his spleen. Honestly, it was touch-and-go until about 3:30AM. My husband was utterly unrecognizable, tubes everywhere I could see, and a ventilator breathing for him.
I truly feel that Brandon was saved through the power of prayer. The support system we had was amazing, and incredibly comforting.
All in all, the accident broke Brandon’s sacrum, lacerated his kidneys and his liver, broke 80% of his ribs, punctured holes in both of his lungs, opened his skull in three places, broke the tips clear off of the lower part of his vertebrae, damaged his spleen, covered his body with road rash...and that’s just the short list. Many other small things were damaged or destroyed in and on his body. Three days into his stay in ICU, we got the terrible news Brandon had suffered a stroke, which would end up causing more damage than the bodily injuries he’d suffered. His stroke affected his right frontal lobe, which controls the ability to filter what the brain does, plus memory, and so forth. So, without that filter, I now know my husband QUITE a bit better than I did before! What a 30-year-old man talks about with no ability to filter...let me tell you! All joking aside, we were in the ICU for a total of nine days, all on a ventilator, and we truly had the most amazing doctors ever. I slept on the floor of the waiting room (on whatever seat cushions I could manage to find) for eleven straight nights with either his mom or mine, and they were so kind to us. Honestly, they really didn’t think, with his injuries, he would make it, so they called him a true fighter! We even had a sort of waiting room family, where everyone in there became very close, and we’d share stories and cry together. We also had a ton of prayer circles, with big burly biker men coming to pray around us. I truly feel Brandon was saved through the power of prayer.
The support system we had was amazing and incredibly comforting. Of course, while the hospital staff who worked to save Brandon were amazing and wonderful, the EMTs who got to him first were our guardian angels. Brandon had not had a pulse for three minutes when they found him, and they were able to revive him literally at the last second. They deserve so much more credit than they receive from our community, and, once Brandon was out of the hospital, I found those EMTs who were responsible, as well as the firefighters and hugged their necks. Once he could breathe on his own, he was transferred to the rehabilitation floor for just over a month where he received physical, speech, and occupational therapy three times a day. And...he hated it. He had to walk with a walker and a helmet because of his brain injury, and if he’d fallen at any point, it could have killed him. Needless to say, this was terrifying for all of us. After we finally got out of the hospital, we had to continue his speech and physical therapy for about 3 to 4 months... and boy, was he happy when that ended! He still wasn’t allowed to drive, climb, move fast, or do anything too physical during that time, so once that was finally over, I was pretty happy.
the ground. I think of the accident probably every day, and I can say for sure the accident and its aftermath was the worst time in my life. Sometimes I get upset over what happened, but I’m still so incredibly thankful. After all, I have Brandon, our son has a father, and we have some beautiful news to look forward to as well with our new baby! Also, my store Nine Months Later will have its ten year anniversary this month! We’re very blessed, even after all that has happened. If I could say what we’ve learned from the experience, I’d say that, at least for me, I hope he never gets on a bike again, as it would make me literally sick. For other bikers who are already committed and passionate, like my mom, I’d say, PLEASE watch out for the other drivers. Even if you are very careful, drive slowly, and aren’t a danger to anyone else, other people will make stupid mistakes that could have far worse consequences for you than for them. Of course, Brandon says that if it’s your time--it could be a bike or a lightning strike, and you don’t have control over that. For him, it just wasn’t his time. I will say, though, I truly think people with children should think twice before riding or buying motorcycles.
The first six months back together as a family were, in a word, hell. Brandon didn’t want to wear his helmet, he didn’t understand why he forgot and continued to forget everything, and he hated that he couldn’t physically be the person he was before the accident. He wanted just to bounce back and heal like a superhuman. It caused strain on a lot of things, as Brandon is pretty stubborn when he wants to be. Now, he still struggles with daily pain, goes to the chiropractor, and makes me wonder at times if we should pull that walker back out of the closet...kidding, babe! As much as we can tell from the accident report and from what people saw, the bike was completely totaled when he was thrown into the side of the SUV that hit him. He laid the bike down in an effort not to hit the car and ripped the entire running board off. To this day, he still has the marks on his body to show it. His body hit the driver’s SUV so hard her airbags deployed. What’s amazing is Brandon was only going 33 miles per hour when the accident occurred. There are many scars still left from the accident-some you can see, such as on Brandon’s body and on the car and motorcycle left totaled, but most you can’t. Though Brandon drives through the intersection of North and College every day, I simply can’t drive through without the harsh memories of the blue chalk outline of his body on
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Hope-filled Parenting B y E r i n K eele y M arshall w i th A lan M . H allene J r .
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arly on October 2, 2008, Al Hallene woke in his western Illinois home and listened to a voicemail message left on his cell phone during the night. The caller was his oldest son, Alex, who spoke words that sent fear through his heart.
“Dad, I love you. I’m sorry to let you and Mom down. Good-bye.” His instincts warned that his son was in danger, so Al sped to Alex’s condominium at the University of Illinois, making the three-hour drive in two. He arrived to find his son’s lifeless body, along with an apology note.
Al shares his story in his recently released book The Hope of Heaven: God’s Eight Messages of Assurance to a Grieving Father (HarperCollins, March 2015), and, although the story holds great tragedy, it also offers an astounding hope that goes beyond it all. In the two years Al and I worked on The Hope of Heaven, I was impacted both as a parent and in my faith. My kids are in elementary grades, and we’re only a couple of years into the emotionallycharged arena of school days. But I’ve shed tears and rejoiced with them in the ups and downs so far. So it was no wonder that the Hallenes’ grief affected me. Alex was a senior that fall. It was his fifth year in college, and it looked as if the pressures of fulfilling graduation requirements were going to further delay completing his degree in finance. Alex grew up with everything going for him: a supportive family, a church upbringing, success in sports and social life. He was an all-around great kid—a “connector” as Al refers to him. The oldest of three boys, Alex was a protector of his brothers, a friend to all, with that special “it” factor that stood out. A year and a half before his death, Alex cut his wrists after he and a friend had been drinking and his friend crashed Alex’s grandmother’s old, inexpensive car. Alex had an enormous sense of loyalty, and even though the family reassured him all was forgiven, Alex was plagued with guilt. They learned from a counselor that the brain does not finish developing until age thirty or so, which may have contributed to Alex’s processing of that event. “Although the cuts were not deep and the doctors saw them as cries for help more than an all-out
suicide attempt, we took it very seriously. [His mother and I] got him help for depression, and I visited him at school every couple of weeks to buy him groceries and take him out for dinner, really to check on him and see how he was doing. I asked the hard questions.”
Left with only a short note, Al feels as if he lives between two worlds: this one on earth and the one to come, where he is certain his son is now whole and free from all pain. The journey has been anything but easy these past few years. While most parents do not have to endure such a loss as Al’s, all of us wonder how to help our kids weather the storms they face, and all of us question at times whether we are noticing all we need to see and doing all we can do. As parents we don’t like to think about negative what-ifs when it comes to our kids. Our kids have our hearts, so to imagine anything hurting them gets our anxieties flowing. When they are small, we feel the physical toll of chasing their wiggling bodies and never-ending quest for discovery as the world awakens to them. Not long after we breathe a sigh of relief that they can tie their shoes, match their clothes, and have some sense of ‘stranger danger,’ the school years arrive with all manner of new challenges. Friendships, school schedules, homework demands, extracurricular competitiveness, and other peer pressures all contribute to a higher level of stress for our kids than in most previous generations. Families function at warp speed, and it can be difficult to do more than just survive the busy-ness. If that weren’t enough, the twenty-first century also has dealt our youth some unique advances that carry a world of minefields to maneuver that no generation before them grew up navigating. Those advances come in the form of technology and its cohort, social media. Unfortunately, as much as we try, we cannot control every stress our children face and we cannot fix all the small—much less large—wounds
www.hopeofheavenbook.com www.erinkeeleymarshall.com Facebook: ErinKeeleyMarshallAuthor Twitter: https://twitter.com/EKMarshall
reason for hope and reunion with his son in heaven someday.
that life inflicts on them. How do we parent with hope through it all? Is hope even possible when the worst happens? When Al’s heart broke, he was surprised by the unique ways he felt upheld. As he held his son and called a friend to contact the authorities, God met him in a personal way and impressed on him eight truths that carried Al through the crisis and continue to support him today. In those few minutes awaiting the arrival of the authorities, Al came to understand that Alex is fine in heaven with God and other members of his family who had previously died. God had a plan for Alex and knew the day would come when Alex would decide to take his own life—a decision Alex never would have made had it not been for depression that hit hard that night. The way Alex died certainly was not in God’s plan for him, but God saw the day coming. Al was reminded of Psalm 139:16 (NLT) that says, “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” Alex’s faith in Jesus as the bridge to heaven reassured his grieving father that God never lost his hold on Alex and held him securely even then. Al himself had grown up in church, but, as he explains, “I’d always envisioned [God] as distant and aloof.” He never dreamed that his most tragic experience would be the tool God would use to connect with him Father to father and help him understand that God, too, had loved and lost a Son. He was awakened “to what God must have gone through, not from the standpoint of church history or a Bible lesson, but as an emotionally invested Father. I had never grasped that God felt the tragic loss of his child.” But, as Al came to understand, God reaches into the heartache of grieving parents. In the midst of his worst nightmare, Al was given
Al and I spent countless hours communicating by phone and email; I looked through hundreds of family pictures—beautiful, by the way—and couldn’t help noticing the depths in Alex’s eyes. I got to walk down memory lane through hours of family movies, and on a visit to the Quad Cities of Illinois and Iowa, I toured with Al their hometown and sights that were key in Alex’s growing-up years. We flew to the University of Illinois and saw Alex’s world there. And I viewed it all not just through the eyes of a co-author, but as a fellow parent. We cannot help but be changed by entering into someone else’s pain. But what continues to speak to me most as Al and I work to spread the word about The Hope of Heaven is the steadying awe that reaffirms my faith that God works personally for each of us, including our children. He always has been and will remain good and loving and present. He does offer hope that steadies us and the ones we love. Six and a half years after Alex’s death, Al still remembers as if it were yesterday those eight messages of hope and reassurance that God personally delivered to him that October day. As he says in the book, those eight messages are not enough to satisfy him forever, but they keep him going for now and he trusts they will continue to do so until someday finally arrives. The story begins with tragedy but does not end in despair. It has become an anchor for me as I journey with my own family through the years. I hope it will be the same for you and yours. Alan M. Hallene Jr., PhD. is the father of three grown sons, one whom he anticipates reuniting with someday in heaven. While working on The Hope of Heaven, Al was on leave from his teaching position at St. Ambrose University in Davenport, Iowa. He has also taught at the University of Illinois and the University of Iowa, and is President of NorthHill Consulting, LLC. Erin Keeley Marshall is also the author of Navigating Route 20-Something and The Daily God Book. She has been an editor and writer for two decades and lives in Rogers with her husband and kids.
Achieving A Healthy Weight By: Lynn M. Davis, MD, Board-certified in Internal Medicine and Pediatrics
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s the summer approaches, people resolve to lose weight, embarking on ambitious diet and exercise programs in their quest to reach a healthier weight. But what is a healthy weight? Many people set weight loss goals for themselves and believe they have failed if they do not meet them. Making healthy lifestyle changes is more important than reaching a specific number on the scale. A healthy weight is one that is reached through good nutrition, regular physical activity, and healthy habits such as not smoking. In fact, people who carry some extra weight can still be healthier than those who are thinner but have poor nutrition and exercise habits. People come in all shapes and sizes. While there is no ideal weight for every person, being overweight and inactive increases a person’s risk of developing serious health problems. The body mass index (BMI) helps determine if a person’s weight is putting them at increased risk for disease. There are many resources available online to calculate your BMI, help you interpret the results, and provide tools to assist you in achieving a healthier lifestyle, including www.nhlbi.nih.gov/ health/educational/lose_wt.
Dr. Lynn Davis practices at Northwest Primary Care – Springdale located at 3409 Elm Springs Road in Springdale. For more information, call (479) 927-2100 or visit nw-physicians.com.
Research shows that people who make broader lifestyle changes have more success in achieving and maintaining weight loss than those who simply focus on meeting their weight loss goals. Eating right and increasing physical activity can also boost energy levels and decrease the risk of developing diseases such as coronary artery disease, sleep apnea, type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure.
Making long-term lifestyle changes requires a balanced, realistic approach. Here are some tips for making lifelong changes: Instead of only focusing on counting calories, focus on eating the right types of foods. Slowly change your eating habits by incorporating more fruits, vegetables, whole grains and lean proteins like chicken and fish into your diet. Become aware of portion sizes. In today’s super-size culture, restaurant sizes are often more than twice the recommended portion. Instead of eating everything on your plate, ask your server for a to-go box or share your meal with a friend or family member. Set small, realistic goals. Instead of deciding to run a marathon, commit to be active three to four times a week. Start slowly and work your way up to your goal. Make exercise a part of your day. Finding the time to workout can be challenging but you don’t have to hit the gym to improve your health. Start by taking the stairs instead of the elevator or parking farther away from the grocery store. These small changes will soon become habits.
Weight is just one component of overall health. Other factors such as having a large waist circumference, smoking, having high blood pressure and high cholesterol can increase your risk of developing heart disease and other conditions. For more information o n achieving a healthy weight, contact your physician.
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At a Glance ARTS and MUSIC
At a Glance
Crystal Bridges (Pg. 65) (479) 418-5700 crystalbridges.org Imagine Studios (Pg. 43) (479) 619-6085 9 imagine-studios.com School of Rock (Pg. 19) bentonvillerogers@schoolofrock.com Stephanie’s Musique (Pg. 39) (479) 756-0740 Trike Theatre (Pg. 31) (479) 464-5084 triketheatre.org
BANKS
First Security (Pg. 23) www.fsbank.com; www.onlyinark.com
CHILDCARE/NANNY SERVICES
ABC Happy Kids (Pg. 69) (479) 202-5691 abchappykids.com Better Beginnings (Pg. 36) (800) 445-3316 arbetterbeginnings.com The Kid’s Studio (Pg. 35) (479) 268-6675 www.thekidsstudio.com Mary’s Little Lambs (Pg. 25) (479) 273-1011 Mustard Seed Children’s Academy (Pg. 40) mustardseedacademynwa.com
CHURCHES
Cross Church (Pg. 64) www.crosschurch.com Unitarian Universalist (Pg. 63) www.uubcar.com
DANCE/CHEER/TUMBLE/STRETCH
The Little Gym (Pg. 32) (479) 636-5566 tlgrogersar.com
DENTIST
Smile Shoppe Pediatric Dentistry (Pg. 37) (479) 631-6377
DERMATOLOGY
NWA Center for Plastic Surgery (Pg. 2) (479) 571-3100 nwacenterforplasticsurgery.com Advanced Dermatology and Skin Cancer Center (Pg. 49) (479) 268-3555 advancedskinmd.com
Rogers Historical Museum (Pg. 25) (479) 621-1154 School of Rock (Pg. 19) bentonvillerogers@schoolofrock.com Shiloh Christian School (Pg. 15) (479) 756-1140 Walnut Farm Montessori (Pg. 75) (479) 271-9424 walnutfarmmontessori.com
FAMILY FUN / ENTERTAINMENT
All About Mickey Vacation Planning (Pg.55) allaboutmickey.com Bicycle Coaltion of the Ozarks (Pg. 43) www.bconwa.com Cross Church VBX (Pg. 64) www.crosschurch.com Crystal Bridges (Pg. 65) (479) 418-5700 Fast Lane Entertainment (Pg. 8) (479) 659-0999 www.fastlanebowl.com Fayetteville Public Library (Pg. 49) (479) 856-7000 faylib.org Little Giggles (Pg. 27) (479) 268-4949 Rogers Activity Center (Pg. 4) (479) 631-0336 ext. 438 Rogers Historical Museum (Pg. 25) (479) 621-1154 Starlight Skatium (Pg. 21) (479) 444-STAR Triple P Farms (Pg. 53) (479) 426-5170
FOOD / DRINK
HAIRCUT / SALON Pigtails & Crewcuts (Pg. 12)
(479) 935-4121
HEALTH AND WELLNESS
Northwest Primary Care (Pg. 13) nw-physicians.com Tate HealthCare (Pg. 53, 73) (479) 271-6511 www.tatehealthcare.com
JEWELRY AND GIFTS
EDUCATION/TRAINING
Creative Cooking With Kids (Pg. 45) (479) 518-0733 creativecooking15@gmail.com Fayetteville Public Library (Pg. 49) (479) 856-7000 faylib.org Larson’s Language Center (Pg. 34) (479) 633-9900 Mustard Seed Children’s Academy (Pg. 40) mustardseedacademynwa.com The New School (Pg. 47) thenewschool.org
TCBY (Pg. 3) (479) 636-8229 (TCBY)
David Adams (Pg. 69) davidadams.com
LEARNING CENTER
ABC Happy Kids Learning Academy (Pg. 69) (479) 621-6126 www.abchappykids.com Bright Haven (Pg. 21) (479) 717-2344 Larson’s Language Center (Pg. 34) (479) 633-9900
MARTIAL ARTS ATA (Pg. 56)
Bentonville: (479) 273-1212 Fayetteville: (479) 443-5425 PRO Martial Arts (Pg. 11) (479) 250-9899
OPTOMETRIST
Pediatric Vision Development Center (Pg. 35) nwavisiontherapy.com (479) 795-1411
PEDIATRICIAN
Best Start Pediatric Clinic (Pg. 17) (479) 575-9359 Bentonville Pediatric Clinic (Pg. 22) (479) 273-5437 The Children’s Clinic at Springdale (Pg. 9) (479) 751-2522 MANA NWA Pediatric Clinic (Pg. 33) (479) 443-3471
PLASTIC SURGEON
NWA Center for Plastic Surgery (Pg. 2) (479) 571-3100 www.nwacenterforplasticsurgery.com
PRESCHOOL/ PRE-K
ABC Happy Kids Learning Academy (Pg. 69) (479) 621-6126 www.abchappykids.com The Kid’s Studio (Pg. 35) (479) 268-6675 www.thekidsstudio.com Mary’s Little Lambs (Pg. 25) (479) 273-1011 Mustard Seed Children’s Academy (Pg. 40) mustardseedacademynwa.com The New School (Pg. 47) thenewschool.org Walnut Farm Montessori (Pg. 75) (479) 271-9424 walnutfarmmontessori.com
WOMEN’S HEALTH
Birth Center NWA (Pg. 57) (479) 372-4560 bcnwa.com Lifespring Women’s Health (Pg. 41) (479) 271-0005 lifespringhealthcare.com Northwest Primary Care of Springdale (Pg. 13) (479) 927-2100 Northwest Women’s Health Associates (Pg. 7) (479) 503-2525 Parkhill Clinic for Women (Pg. 27) (479) 521-4433 Siloam Springs Women’s Center (Pg. 46) (479) 524-9312 siloamwomenscenter.com Willow Creek Hospital (Pg. 5) (479) 757-3000
SPORTS Bicycle Coalition of the Ozarks (Pg. 43)
TALENT
www.bconwa.com Hawg Start Swim School (Pg. 59) (479) 310-5292 coachkary@aquahawgs.org N.C.K. Talent Academy (Pg. 71) (479) 445-6000 thenck.com
THERAPY
ABC Happy Kids Learning Academy (Pg. 69) (479) 621-6126 www.abchappykids.com Children’s Therapy T.E.A.M (Pg.29) www.childrenstherapyteam.com Tate HealthCare (Pg. 53, 73) (479) 271-6511
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Experience. Discover. Grow.
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Walnut Farm Montessori School Building a Foundation for Growth
Montessori Toddler Program 18 months-3 years old Walnut Farm offers flexible 2, 3, and 5 day toddler programs available in half day and full day options.
• Well prepared, peaceful environments that support learning and development • Dedicated, nurturing, trained teachers • Developmentally appropriate curriculum that fosters cognitive development, speech and language development, fine and gross motor skill enhancement • Nutritious meals prepared onsite daily for full day students • Before and after school programs offered Walnut Farm Montessori School is the first and only school accredited by the American Montessori Society in the State of Arkansas and the first school to offer a natural playscape environment for exercise and exploration. Our school provides an authentic Montessori education for children ages 18 months to 12 years.
Enrolling Now
Contact us today to schedule your tour of our enriching toddler program
479-271-9424 • info@walnutfarm.org
www.walnutfarmmontessori.com