Peekaboo November 2013
Free Magazine
Clothing by:
Northwest Arkansas’ Family Magazine
the PEEKABOO family Kimberly Enderle
Editor-in-Chief editor@peekaboonwa.com (479) 957-0532
Ava. Grant. and Holden. Jonathon Enderle
Creative Director jon@peekaboonwa.com (479) 586-3890
/
Distribution/ Circulation Joyce Whitaker Judy Evans Marcedalia Salinas Colleen Cook Jeremy Whitaker
Peekaboo Publications, PO Box 1036, Bentonville, Arkansas 72712 Peekaboo Northwest Arkansas accepts writing contributions. Please send inquiries to: editor@peekaboonwa.com or call (479) 586-3890 Peekaboo may not be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. Views expressed herein are those of the authors and advertisers, and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the magazine.
peekaboo nwa
November 2013
What’s Inside 14
|Just Look UP
46
| My Shaklee Story
22
| Dilly Dally
48
| The Road
24
by: Kimberly Owens
Gift Guide
by: Tina Kacirek
| Aspire Gymnastics
32
| A Day in the Life
Academy
34|
44|
by: Julie Bohannon
to Africa by: Lacey Carney
| In Thanks By GrACE: 54 |Dad’s View When Hope Leads
30
14
by: Loria Oliver
Answering His Call by: Jennifer Faddis
How God Wrote Our Story
56
| STRESS in the
Modern Day Woman by: Eugene T. Kelley 60 Offering Balance in Parenting by: Roxanne Ross
|
62
44
with Ben Lacy
|Getting Your Skin Picture Ready by: Jennifer Yount
66
| Meet Bretton
70
|Your Changing
James Gibson by: Lindsey Gibson
Body by: Dr. Ashley Mason
by: Kari Kidd
48
On the Cover Samuel Caleb, 7, and Maggie Ann, 5. Children of Clay and Kimberly Owens of Springdale. Read this family’s remarkable story on page 14. Samuel was dressed in Scotch Shrunk and Maggie in Scotch R’belle. Shoes from the Fall UGG Collection. Clothing from 3 Monkeys in Fayetteville. www.3monkeysboutiquenwa.blogspot.com Cover photo and 3 Monkeys ad photos by Sweet Portrayal Photography www.sweetportrayal.com
feel like every month I start out my letter with a statement about how much I “love this time of year” or how “this is my favorite month.” It seems repetitive, but it is always true. There is something very special about the area we live in that makes it such a wonderful place to call home and to raise a family. I was born and raised in Siloam Springs, moved to Fayetteville for college, and then a long move to Rogers after I got married. Northwest Arkansas is where my parents built their family and the only place I could imagine building my own. When it comes to starting a family it is never quite as simple as building a home. There are no blueprints or plans you can follow. No “diy” episode on HGTV, and no wish list that you just turn in and all your dreams magically come true. Before I had children, I always saw myself as an “only child” kind of Mom. I figured we would just throw all of our energy into one little person and didn’t ever see our family any other way -until I did. When Ava was almost two the “family building plans” we had been following all changed -- we went from a one-kid home to a two-kid home. Then it was perfect once again. Until our plans changed yet again and we “built on” one more time. Now, a family of 5, I am
12 November 2013
almost certain that we will have no more additions, no more changes to the plans, and no more renovations. But then again, if you would have told me a few years ago that I would one day be a mother to 3 little ones, I would have said you are looking at the blueprints upside down. That is the beautiful thing about building a family -- there is no right or wrong way or singular mold. Some of the most amazing families I have had the opportunity to meet built their families through adoption and created some of the most amazing “architecture” through the solid, faithful foundation of strong parents. My parents are included in that group when they made the decision to adopt my brother when I was 4 -- a decision I am thankful for every day. The great thing about the process of adoption is that, just like an addition to a house, it is usually seamless. You can’t even tell there is a separation or a difference as the two come together so well. The only change visible to the outside and in is that the house (or the family in this case) is better for it. I hope you enjoy the amazing adoption stories I had the opportunity to hear in this issue. The way these families were built are truly beautiful!
Just LookUp
O
ur story is one full of God’s miracles, experienced during and after a long storm we had to endure. After a year of marriage, my husband and I decided to start a family. A year later, however, I found myself at the doctor’s office asking why we had not been successful. Another year passed with temperature charts, ovulation prediction tests, lab work, acupuncture, diet and exercise changes, medications, three intrauterine inseminations, and still no luck getting pregnant. Next, we suffered through our first failed attempt at in-vitro fertilization, which was both physically and emotionally draining. After a second failed attempt at in-vitro, we were told that my eggs were simply no good. What a blow to our morale and dream of a family! At that, I decided that I would have to divorce my husband. All of this wasn’t his fault and, in my mind, he deserved better. He deserved the family we had dreamed of, and I simply could not give it to him. Boy, was he mad at me. He never took me seriously, thank goodness, and informed me that I was not going to be getting rid of him that easily! Looking back now, we can laugh at that time in our lives. The next stop on our journey to a family was the adoption of frozen, donated embryos, since there was no medical reason I could not carry a baby. These embryos were donated by families who had gone through successful in-vitro and had had the remaining unused embryos frozen for preservation. The donors’ options are to either donate these embryos for adoption or dispose of them without a chance for life. We decided to put our names on the waiting list in Little Rock and Tulsa. Very soon, Little Rock had four
14 November 2013
by: Kimberly Owens
frozen embryos for us. We received pictures of the donor female, as well as the twin baby girls that were born from this batch of embryos. Needless to say, we didn’t care what the donor looked like or what kind of medical history she and the male donor had. We just wanted a chance! We worked with an attorney over the phone, and the process was quite easy Physically preparing for the frozen embryo transfer was also much easier on me. The embryos were “high quality grade,” meaning they were five days old when frozen and had good quality cells. Therefore, the doctor recommended transferring two embryos at a time. Months later, we received the best news-- we were pregnant! We were over the moon. Finally, we felt that our prayers had been answered. We anxiously waited that first ultrasound, hoping to see two heartbeats. We dreamed of each of us rocking a baby to sleep at night. However, the day of the ultrasound turned out to be one of the worst in my life. There was not a single heartbeat on that screen. I truly wanted to die that day-- I even wished for it. I cried, I screamed, I raged. I was depressed for weeks and wanted nothing to do with my God, who I felt had forsaken me. My precious husband, family, and friends had no idea how to help me through that time. My husband was suffering. too, but his faith was strong. He gently and slowly led me back to see all the blessings I had in my life. Days passed, and healing did come. We prepared for the second embryo transfer. Days after that transfer, I received a call from the nurse letting me know that I was not pregnant. It was St. Patrick ’s Day of 2006. All I could think of at that moment was that that was our last chance. No baby. No more options. I went on with my work day, tears
clouding my vision. Later that afternoon, I received an email from my husband. In it he told me not to get too excited, but he had just spoken to a woman whose teenage daughter, Holly, was pregnant, and they were looking for someone to adopt her baby. What amazing timing! My head was spinning as I began to pray: Please God, please God, please God, let this be your answer! I thought about Holly constantly, wondering if she felt scared and if she could really give up this baby for adoption. The wait to meet her could only be described as excruciating. We met her at a restaurant a couple weeks later. We wanted her to like us so much! I questioned everything I wore that night--my hair, my make-up, even my shoes! We finally met and she was a tiny, beautiful girl with just a little round belly. She was surrounded by her family, who obviously loved her and wanted what was best for her. We were so nervous! I just prayed for the right words to prove I was worthy of being a good mom to the baby boy she was carrying. After dinner, we were hopeful. We knew Holly and her family were also talking to another couple and that there was nothing we could do but wait. Boy, was that a long wait! Every time the phone rang, my heart started pounding. Night after night, we left the nightlight glowing in the nursery,
There was not a single heartbeat on that screen. I truly wanted to die that day. I even wished for it. I cried. I screamed. I raged. which was already prepared in anticipation of a baby sleeping there. After a week of waiting, we had just about given up hope. Then, I got a call--the call. Holly’s family invited us to dinner and asked to see our home. It was in our nursery that Holly stopped to tell us she wanted us to adopt her baby. Tears of joy fell immediately. This precious girl who chose life for her baby never wavered in the decision she made. She welcomed me to each and every doctor’s appointment and even let me touch her belly to feel the baby’s hiccups. Our friends and family did a lot of worrying for us--what if they change their minds, etc. Clay and I believed that God had brought our families together for a purpose, and we had a sense of peace about this. At midnight, on June 26, 2006, we met Holly at the hospital for her to be induced. I got to spend a lot of time in Holly’s room, sitting in a rocking chair and listening to Sam’s heartbeat on the monitor. Holly never once complained about anything. She was so strong, and it amazed me. Our son, Samuel Caleb Owens, was
[ story continued next page ]
Just LookUp
born at 5:58PM, perfectly healthy and big-- nearly nine pounds! After cleaning him up, I watched the nurse carry him to Holly, and her whole body was shaking from the effort it took to deliver him. She just couldn’t hold him at that moment, and told the nurse to let me have him. I took my son in my arms and fell in love. He was absolutely perfect. Clay and I got to be in the nursery for his bath and fed him his first bottle. We had a tiny room available for our families
to crowd in and hold him. After everyone left, we spent a second night dozing on and off in the hospital waiting room while going in and out to hold Sam. As planned beforehand, Holly and her family spent time with Sam as well. I can only imagine how difficult that must have been for her. As our dream came true, Holly must have felt such a loss. I have never met a more courageous and selfless person in my life. There is just no way to thank someone for the gift of a child. We now have a wonderful relationship with her and see her throughout the year. She is about to complete college and start a career, and we are so very proud
As our dream came true, Holly must have felt such a loss. I have never met a more courageous and selfless person in my life. There is just no way to thank someone for the gift of a child. her. God worked a beautiful miracle in our lives by bringing us together. When Sam was 8 weeks old, we got a call from our fertility clinic in Tulsa. We had been matched to two donated embryos. Did we want them? Oh my, what a difficult question…Yes! No! Yes?! What an opportunity to give Sam a sibling, but it was so soon! With a lot of prayer and firm belief in God’s plan for us, we began another journey. Embryo adoption in Oklahoma was a significantly different process than in Arkansas. We had to go before a judge in Tulsa to adopt the embryos. No photos were available to us, but we did receive a complete medical history from both of the donors. This time around, I felt so much more at peace with whatever the outcome might be. I already had a beautiful, healthy son, and another child would just be icing on the cake. My body had had some time to heal since the last transfer, so the physical process was even easier. The two embryos survived the thawing process and were transferred without complication when Sam was eight months old. After the transfer, I had to remain on bed rest for a minimum of two days. So, imagine this: I’m lying flat on my back in the back of the van. My husband is driving me home trying to miss every bump in the road, when my cell phone rings. On the other end is our adoption attorney who tells me there is a woman placing her baby for adoption and is due to deliver in 8 weeks. Did we want to adopt the baby? I was speechless, and for a moment wondered if the Valium I had taken was causing hallucinations. I’m not sure I was coherent when I told him I needed to talk to my husband. There was so much to think about and consider. Although we had not been successful in maintaining a pregnancy, there was a chance that one or both of the embryos would survive. If they did
and we adopted this baby, we could be parents to four children under the age of 18 months old. Could we do it? Again, we turned to prayer. In the end, we felt we needed to pursue this new adoption, knowing that God would lead us and provide for us for whatever may came. Ten days after that decision was made, I was staring at a very positive pink line. I felt such immense joy to be pregnant. However, there was fear lurking as well. Would I be able to maintain this pregnancy? We told very few people our happy news this time. It was a long wait for the ultrasound to determine if there would be a heartbeat, or even two. Daily, I handed this baby to God in prayer and tried be positive. When I was five weeks pregnant, I about jumped off the examining table when I saw a fast strong little heartbeat on the ultrasound screen! Clay and I were ecstatic! I still remember the doctor saying “We’ve got a player!” We proceeded with plans for the new adoption, writing a very large check for the lawyer expenses, birth mom expenses, and who knows what other expenses. We were told the baby was a girl, and we hastily bought a few pink things. Only a couple weeks later, we got a call that the birth mom was in labor, and that we were to come to the hospital. She had hadvery limited care during the pregnancy, but there were no known concerns. We were able to meet her for only a brief moment while she was in labor. It was very hard for
all of us. I do not speak Spanish, and she did not speak English. A woman from our lawyer’s office was there to translate, but it definitely was not the same. This time, we sat in the waiting room, anxiously waiting any news we could get. Finally, Isaac Hudson Owens was born on April 26, 2007. Yes, it was a boy! Sam was only 10 months old and I was eight weeks pregnant. He was tiny but healthy, and so sweet. We spent two days and nights in a tiny room at the hospital that was normally reserved for nursing moms. The woman who translated for us told us one of the nurses was making comments to the birth mom regarding her choice of adoption. She even told the birth mom “You probably do not care since you are just giving your baby up.” How sad and discouraged she must have felt. She was completely alone, as she hadn’t told any of her family about the pregnancy due to the circumstances surrounding it. I was so relieved when we finally left the hospital with Isaac. I honestly do not even remember feeling overwhelmed. I was just happy and blessed! He slept next to our bed in a bassinet. I loved just listening and watching him breathe. Sam was so sweet with him, and it was a joy to imagine them growing up together. Unfortunately, that joy was shattered just a few days later when our attorney informed us that Issac’s birth
[ story continued next page ]
regularly. I pray for him to know the love of Jesus. God loves him and I will always hold a piece of him in my heart.
Just LookUp
mom had changed her mind and wanted him back. Anger like I hadn’t experienced since my miscarriage filled me. How dare she! This was our baby! We were already in love with him. There was an instant that I simply thought about not taking him back. Would they really take him from us? Yes, my husband said, they would. As you can see, I am married to the most wonderful man. He prayed for us, as well as Isaac and, in the end, I did give Isaac up that day. It was probably the hardest thing I have ever done, knowing I would never see him again. I think of him and pray for him
The weeks and months passed as my pregnancy progressed. During that time, the emotional and physical loss of Isaac became less sharp and I began to enjoy the miracle of the child I was carrying. When I was 15 weeks pregnant, we finally shared our good news with everyone. Due to the pregnancy being a result of an embryo transfer, my pregnancy was considered “high risk.” The good part of that is that I had lots of ultrasounds! My local doctor told me to come anytime I was feeling nervous or wanted to see the baby. I even rented a heartbeat monitor and spent a lot of time just listening to the baby’s heartbeat. It was such a comforting sound and eased my fragile nerves. Every pregnancy pain made me smile. Sore back, bruised hips from progesterone injections, swollen ankles, and a lack of sleep were fine with me. It was another prayer answered by my faithful God. My water broke on December 3, 2007 but, 24 hours later, our baby was just too big to be delivered naturally. After a nerve-wracking decision to go forward with a c-section, Maggie Ann Owens made her debut on December 4, 2007. She was healthy and perfect and welcomed by her big brother Sam! We laugh about her being the only embryo stubborn enough to survive. She is still a very stubborn, beautiful, funny little girl who makes us laugh all the time! In the summer of 2010, when Maggie was two years old, we were matched with two more embryos. Unfortunately, this pregnancy also ended in an early miscarriage. At that point, we took a break but, in March of this year, we felt God’s calling again. This time we felt he had a child for us, and that path led us to become foster adoption parents through Cherokee Nation. We completed all paperwork and training and became open for placement in June of this year. We do not know exactly what God’s plan is for our family but we are willing to be patient and wait for Him. I pray regularly for an open heart for what may come. Sam and Maggie argue because Sam wants a brother and, of course, Maggie wants a sister. She now draws our family picture with an extra child! Whew! What a path we have walked during our short time here on earth. Some heartaches seem so bad they can never be healed but, with my family, friends, husband and, most importantly, my faith, I have a grateful heart for the storm we endured. I wouldn’t trade my two miracles babies for anything in the world! As only God can do, they even look like brother and sister! I pray for each of you who may be going through your own storm. Please know you are never alone. God is always with you... Just look up.
18 November 2013
Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10
Check out these great
gift ideas
.
“A Different Kind of Toy Store”
479-273-5557 The Shoppes at Pinnacle Hills 3301 Market Street, Suite 103, Rogers, AR 72758
Hape Pound And Tap Bench $29.99
Rody Horse $49.99
20% off ONE item
(Certain restrictions may apply. Limit one per customer. Expires 12/31/13)
“A Different Kind of Toy Store” 479-273-5557 The Shoppes at Pinnacle Hills 3301 Market Street, Suite 103, Rogers, AR 72758
Ages 18 months +
$24.99
Q BA Maze 2.0 Big Box $39.99 Q-Ba-Maze 2.0 is a unique system of colorful cubes that interlock to form a marble run. The big difference? You can create marble maze sculptures in the form of animals, geometric shapes or any other design! Configurations are unlimited, allowing for unpredictable action when steel balls travel the various routes. It’s a live demonstration of probability, physics and art, all in one
Elenco Snap Circuits Sound Kit Ages 8+
$84.99
Magformers WOW vehicle Set Ages 3+
$49.99
Design your own vehicles for hours of fun. Build mini vehicles with magnets of all shapes and sizes. Use squares, triangles and then add the wheels. Build multiple sets in multiple colors.
Choon Designs Rainbow Loom $14.99 HOT ITEM!!!! Rainbow Loom® is a kit for making super fun rubber band links for bracelets of any size. Keep your kids busy for hours being creative and having fun!
3301 Market Street, Suite 103, Rogers, Ar 72758
Explore sound with this great kit from Snap Circuits - Features: Keyboard with optical Theremin, Echo effects, Voice changer; Record voice or music and play it back at different speeds. Sound energy demonstration. Color changing light. Connect to your smart phone and analyze sounds with downloadable apps.
The Shoppes at Pinnacle HIlls
by Mindware
479.273.5557
Position “race driver” balls, line up race cars beneath and BANG! Bash the ball thru the hole and into their cars to speed off to the finish line! Promotes muscle development and encourages cooperation and turn taking.
Dilly Dally’s
Whack Em Racers by Tomy International
In Thanks by Grace:
L
by: Tina Kacirek
When Hope Leads
ucia and Cephas were created by a loving Father in Heaven who had good plans for them. He saw perfection in His plan that these two would be used to bring beauty and joy to a world that needed it. He also knew that before they would have that chance, there would be long dark days that would repeat, seem to multiply and feel endless. The story I share with you today isn’t just another orphan story telling you the great hardships of two souls who were once lost and now found. It’s actually more about how we view our life circumstances and the responses we have to them. Lucia has cerebral palsy and Cephas has spina bifida. After experiencing plenty of abuse at home and witnessing her father’s suicide, Lucia understandably had a broken heart when she arrived at the adult institution in Ukraine. This is where she would meet Cephas for the first time, and they would reside, bedridden, in a room for nearly a decade alongside each other. They had no idea that one day they would become brother and sister. Cephas (pronounced seefuhs) went straight to the hospital after he was born, the institution for babies after that, and then to the adult institution. I first met them in 2006. Their needs were great, and I prayed that one day I would call them son and daughter. I honestly never imagined at the time that
24 November 2013
this would happen. It breaks my heart to say this, but I did not think that I was capable of caring for them. It felt beyond me. For years, we continued to grow our family, and God continued to stretch our capacities, breaking down our restrictions and preparing us for Lucia and Cephas. He tore away the lies and limitations that kept us from saying yes to things that were huge--things that only incredibly brave people, people who are super smart and equipped in every way, do. Or so we thought. We did what we thought we could do at the time. We prayed and we advocated and we worked with another organization to spread the word about the needs of these precious children. We were hoping for a surgery that would save their lives, bring comfort and perhaps make it possible for a family to adopt them. Fast forward to January of 2012: We had just brought home our daughter Jubilee, who herself has spina bifida, from Armenia a few months before. Suddenly, I got an urgent message from a young woman in California. She did not know me, but she had learned about Cephas and his situation gripped her heart passionately. She shouted from the rooftops about him and she was coming to me asking what more could be done to help him. I felt her deep longing to see him free. It was a beautiful thing to witness. As I prayed again, I felt more of an ache than ever, realizing that these two precious
hearts had aged so much since I first saw them in the summer of 2006. They were going to be aging out of the institution soon. Now, it was a matter of finding a family that would love them and know how to care for them, and it had to happen before adoption was no longer a possibility. Randy and I talked about it. We prayed about it. It wouldn’t leave us. Who would do this? God, why won’t you send someone? Of course, we both knew the answer when we looked into each other’s eyes. We knew the answer, but we already had many to care for with special needs, and then there were the opinions of others. “What if we became labeled as child collectors?” we thought. “What about...”--just fill in the blank, and we asked it. I share that because if you read an article about this amazing family and you never get to read about our inner workings, then you will believe that we are somehow special and different than you, which is not true. We aren’t! We worked through fear of man, fear of failing and all that comes with reconciling our own weaknesses to the truth that with God all things are possible. In His will, we would not just survive, or get by, but be blessed! And so, with all faith that God would be the one to do it all, we made the commitment to Cephas. With a large prolapse of colon out of his rectum, and spina bifida that had never been treated, we knew he was
medically fragile and death was a possibility. I grieved in my heart for a few months. I did not know how we could come for him and not bring Lucia home, too. I felt like we were in some way causing her death by leaving her. However, we still held great concerns that we would not be able to take both of them at the same time in such dire states. How do you choose, in a situation like that? We felt we needed confirmation that this was something God would call us to do. We needed to know that our own children at home would not suffer, and that there would not be bitterness in the hearts of our healthy children who would sacrifice pleasures and convenience if we took Cephas and Lucia in. One particular summer morning, I was looking at Lucia on my computer. As I was contemplating her future and quietly aching, my oldest son walked up behind me and saw her image. Without knowing the inner struggle that we were having, he asked, “Why aren’t we bringing her home too?” I nearly lost all air to breathe and gasped my response back to him, “Holden, would you be okay with that?” Without any drama, he reasonably replied, “Mom, why wouldn’t we?” Through streaming tears, I finally knew this is
[ story continued next page ]
moment, all that came to me was Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Each day has held more discoveries of joy than I could have ever imagined. Life isn’t as convenient, of course... Everything has to have a plan, and spontaneity looks different, that’s for sure! Our family has been enlarged not only in number, but in our vision of what love looks like and how great life is! There is nothing more exciting than watching someone go outside for the first time to play. Touching leaves, tasting food, meeting animals, and laughing has never been this satisfying. Perhaps all of the struggles to bring them home have made every new experience that much sweeter.
In Thanks by Grace:
When Hope Leads
what God wanted us to hear. We felt our confirmation. Before we could even get to Ukraine, both the worst and the best happened. Cephas developed an internal infection and with precious moments, in God’s great mercy, he was rushed to receive the lifesaving surgery many had been trumpeting and trying to coordinate for years. We arrived to find tiny, weak bodies with hopeful spirits awaiting us. Cephas was healing from surgery, and we saw God’s provision for bringing him home easily on the plane with us via the removal of the prolapse. Our time with Lucia, however, showed us that the opposite would be true for her. We knew she would not be able to handle the airplane seat to come home. We checked in with the airlines and found that no special accommodations could be made and she didn’t qualify for medical transport. Our only option was a larger, soft reclining chair in first class. We asked the ticket price for two seats, as we needed someone to be with her, change her and provide her with basic needs. The response we got was horrifying: It would be $7,000. Again, we struggled with, “How, God?” We came prepared, we thought. But this amount? This was the last thing we were expecting to hear. We shared with a few friends, who then shared a blitz for our Lucia on Facebook. Within five days, people from all over the country (and some overseas!) giving gifts and donations of frequent flyers miles were able to cover every last bit. I’ll never forget that evening as Randy and I curled up together speechless. “Did that just happen?” I asked him. “It did,” he replied. The silence in the room, and the calm of the snow-covered ground seemed to match our hearts and minds. In that
26 November 2013
Recently, Lucia met with a team of doctors, as she is preparing for a high-risk surgery this January at St. Louis Children’s Hospital. Her back is curved at 120 degrees, which is pressing her organs. One lung is pressed so severely that it hardly functions. She faces surgery to place a rod in her back, and then will require a body brace for four months. Her hip is pulled out of socket, and she lives with constant discomfort. Just taking a breath requires effort on her part. But, when she is asked how she is doing, she almost always says, “I am doing better than most.” When asked what she thought about all of those years she was laying in a bed, being hit and spit at, her answer struck me. “I thought about the day I would escape. I didn’t know when it would happen, or how, but I knew one day I would leave. When the caregivers told me no one wanted me and no one would ever come for me, I never believed them.” As she spoke, I felt assured that God was doing more with this adoption than merely saving their bodies. He was removing the shroud that had been covering their very bright lights, so that now they will shine bright for the world to see. They are teachers. These two exude thankfulness that defies the lives they have known. They are daily reminders to me of what perseverance means. It dawned on me the other day that even if their bodies gave out, they already won their victory in spirit. They never let their circumstances steal their hope for a better tomorrow, nor their faith that it could happen. Ultimately, all that has transpired was for God’s blessing. In every way, all of us are stretched and strengthened. My children have taken on new roles. While some step up to serve, others have stepped in to encourage, exhort and teach. There is not one without blessing to receive and blessing to give. Where we expected suffering, grace not only has covered us, but it has beckoned us out of our old mindsets and brought us into new wide spaces where fear cannot steal hope. The only thing amazing about our family is that God uses us in all of our imperfections, to show how
perfect He really is. There is great strength to be found in our weaknesses. If your days have felt repetitive and endless, let hope be the light of your day. If you find yourself weak and “less than,” you are a prime candidate to be used by an awesome and powerful God. Our small faith mixed with His great love will move our mountains. The greatest miracle of all is that our hearts can be softened to move as He leads us. In this process, something bigger is happening inside of me. I am beginning to believe for bigger things-impossible things! These little darlings are now mine but once they were not. Throughout it all, though, they always belonged to God. I’m softer than ever, more thankful for the small things, and excited to see hope, wherever and in whomever. There is no “small” thing to God. Every work He is doing in us is magnificent. God knew what He was doing when He commanded us to care for the least. Most of the time people feel uncomfortably pressured, or think they will have to give up something to do it, but the secret is that we find more of Him there. There is no other greater path God can choose for our life than to ask us to care for someone helpless and defenseless. There is no higher honor to be given. There is no sweeter joy than to have the grace of God be our everything and to watch
restoration happen before our eyes. Only a perfect God would command us this way. If you are breathing, you’ve already been blessed with opportunity to love brighter and deeper and longer where others have not. Start where you are with the ones you’ve been given and allow tears to fall at the beauty of life placed before you. Love is so very, very simple: it is present and it believes the best, and when that happens, watch for miracles.
Lucia
turns 17 on January 20th and with her surgery coming 10 days prior, we have decided to celebrate early with a card shower. Lucia has never had a birthday celebration before and her dream is to be able to sit up. If you would like to join in making this birthday extra special and help encourage her for surgery, please send words of encouragement to the following address to arrive the first week of January and we will just let her birthday last all month long! Lucia Kacirek 2806 Laurel Crossing Circle . Rogers, AR 72757
Preschool & Childcare
906 NW 13th Street, Bentonville
(479) 464-9993
aspiregymnasticsacademy.com
Aspire was opened in 2004 and in May of 2010 my husband Steve and I bought the gym and renamed it Aspire Gymnastics Academy. Since then we have added many new programs and continue to add more to fulfill the needs and wants of our great students. I have a background in Gymnastics, Cheer and Dance and therefore have a passion for all of these things. I bought the gym so that I could continue to offer a wonderful place for kids to come to who strive to do their best in a safe environment. We focus on encouraging kids to work hard and accomplish their goals. It’s amazing to watch a child when they finally master that one skill that they have been challenged with. The satisfaction and pride they get is why we do what we do. -Karen Cherry
Fun Facts! Aspire Gymnastics Academy has just expanded and added a second location next door for a new Cheer and Tumble Facility. The expansion includes an all new spring and cheer floor and 40 ft. tumble track! Aspire is a member of the USAG -- USA Gymnastic and have certified coaches on staff. Aspire will be offering Cheerleader Stunt classes with UA and UCA Cheerleader coaches. Aspire offers competitive teams for both girls and boys gymnastics level 3 through 10 and a new T & T co-ed competitive team!
Aspire will be hosting an invitational meet Jan 18-19, 2014 at JQ Hammons in Rogers. Come and watch great girl gymnasts level 3 - 10 perform from all over the 4 state area!
Recreational Classes Boys and Girls Gymnastics for age 5 & up beginning with level 1 through 4 Urban Gymnastics for age 8 & up - offer level 1- 3 Co-Ed T&T program (Trampoline and Tumbling) age 6 & up offer level 1-5 this is also a new program for this year. this sport is recognized by the USAG gymnastics. Athletes get more trampoline time and learn and perfect trampoline skills. Tumbling is main focus and the class performs on both the floor and tumble track. Cheer Tumbling (co-ed) for age 5 & up - level 1-5 this is one of our newest programs where the main focus of this program is tumbling, both on the tumble track and floor. Jumps and motions will also be taught in these classes. Be prepared for your school cheer try-outs! Tots for boys and girls age 3 & 4, offer daytime and evening classes!
Moving and Shaking! Our Moving and Shaking Program is for Wee little ones. Wee crawlers is for age 6mo. to 10month Wee walkers for age 10-16mo. Wee Runners for age 16-21months. Wee Tots for age 21month to 3yr. This is a parent and child participation class that will help the child’s motor skill development and is incorporated with music, movement and lots of fun!
New Programs! Lunch Box Tots Lunch Box Tots is a program for 3,4, and 5 year olds to enjoy gymnastics, music, friends, education and fun all in one place! On Fridays from 9am to 11:30am give your little one the opportunity to take part in a preschool - moms day out - gymnastics program like no other in NWA! Includes 45 minute gymnastics class, arts and crafts, academic readiness, music class, story time, social time, creative play and lunch box time! Drop-Ins Available - Just call (479) 464-9993 the day before to ensure availability.
906 NW 13th Street, Bentonville
(479) 464-9993
in y a A D fe i L e h t
Work. Life. Parent. Play. How other parents get it all done in a day. By: Loria W. Oliver
M
y friends and I often talk about how we juggle parenting and business at the same time. Honestly, it’s harder than I thought it would be. It’s sad to admit, but every Thursday, I have to DVR Scandal because it comes on too “late,” and on good days, I’m thankful to start the day at 6:00AM instead of 5:00AM However, these are minor complaints compared to the blessings, laughter and happiness that my children give me. I’m sure you can relate, and have your own set of daily activities that have changed or are different since having children. Each of us has goals to accomplish, and if you’ve ever wondered how other local parents tackle the art of “Work. Life. Parent. Play,” A Day in the Life gives us a sneak peek.
I
had the pleasure of meeting local parent and Crayola Replenishment Analyst Kate Hackett almost a year ago during a meeting. Although it’s been over a year, the enthusiasm that she has for her job continued to resonate with me long after our meeting was over. I remembered how impressed I was with her, and knew her happiness and passion for her work and family would make her a great person to profile. Like many of us, Kate starts her day at 5:50AM each morning, and has her family out the door by 7:00AM. This day was captured on October 9, 2013. Know another parent who would make a great profile? I would love to hear from you. @owc _pr
32 November 2013
Name: Kate Hackett
Profession: Replinishment Analyst Employer: Crayola LLC The best part about your job is:
Going to work for is like coming home for me. I look forward to it every day. I love my company, my co-workers, and our products. I am blessed beyond measure to work where I do.
How do you take your coffee?: Lots of sugar and creamer. Jokingly, they ask if I would like coffee with it. How long have you lived in NWA?: I was born and raised in this area. I moved to Bella Vista in August of this year and prior to that I lived in Bentonville for 6 years. What do you love most about living here?: The landscape and nature. The small town feel, but with big town convenience of stores and shops and activities. Tell us about your family: My boyfriend and I have been living together for over a year now. We are currently in the process of remodeling our new home to be truly ours. Between the two of us we have an 8 year old daughter, a 6 year old daughter, and a 5 year old son. Who would have guessed that I would have two Kindergartners!! We have so much fun watching them all grow and learn. Upon rising, the first thing I do is: jump up and get
dressed. I have an hour to get myself and three kids out the door to school and work on time.
To get my children ready to start her day, I first must: wake them up and make sure they are alert enough to
start getting dressed on their own.
My typical work day begins with: getting my coffee and water so I can sit down and get to work. At noon, I feel like: I’m starving!! Time to get out of the office for a bit so I can come back and finish out the day strong. One highlight from work today was: looking at my list of To Do’s and seeing so many checked off. The first thing I do when I see my family after work is: smile, give them a hug and kiss, and ask about their day. At dinner, we ate: roast with vegetables I threw in the
crockpot that morning.
My children’s bedtime routine is normally: clothes picked out, teeth brushed, a book, and then kisses and hugs while tucking into bed. I prepare for the next day by: picking out my own outfit for the next day and then setting down to watch TV with my boyfriend. Overall today was: another busy day! While each day is similar, there is always something new to see, learn, or do. I couldn’t be happier.
Loria Oliver has over ten years of experience working in corporate communications, media relations and special events. She has managed nonprofit fundraisers and founded OWC PR, a boutique public relations agency in 2011. Under her leadership, OWC PR has placed clients in local and national media outlets, including; Forbes and Good Day Chicago. She is a proud wife and mother who is also a stay-at-home mom. In her spare time, Loria loves to talk all things “mommy” and how to still do it with flair. She has given parenting, lifestyle and marriage insight on her local NBC and CBS stations. She is a contributing writer for Peekaboo Magazine and blogs for SellingtotheMasses.com. @owc_pr
Answering
HIS call by: Jennifer Faddis
I
s ork in mighty. way w l il w e H , u yo ls called you to do ...when God chalw as h e H at h s to accompli
am the proud mother of five children. Four of those children live with my husband Lance and I in Centerton, and one of my sons lives in Haiti. The process of international adoption has been difficult, but we have learned time and again that when God calls you, He will work in mighty ways to accomplish that calling. In January of 2010, a 7.0 magnitude earthquake rocked the island country of Haiti. Up until then, the only thing I knew of Haiti was that it was a poor country--that is literally it. Four days after the earthquake, I was standing in the check-out line at Old Navy and got a phone call from Lance. I picked up the phone and heard, “John and I are going down to Haiti.” John was the missions pastor at our church at the time, and Lance is a physician. My response was, “This is not the time for this conversation.” I look back and laugh now, but at that moment in time, I was absolutely terrified. Sending my husband to a third world country in the middle of one of the biggest natural disasters in modern history definitely was not high on my bucket list--scratch that, it wasn’t anywhere on my bucket list! Once again, I learned that when God calls you, He will work in mighty ways to accomplish what He has called you to do. In the five days between Lance telling me he was heading to Haiti and his arrival in Port Au Prince, God revealed Himself
in ways we couldn’t imagine. Every afternoon when Lance got home from work, we would head out to gather supplies for his trip. God worked in amazing ways, providing $15,000 and almost a literal ton of medicines and humanitarian relief supplies for the team to take to Haiti. During one of those afternoons, Lance was standing at the kitchen counter and I was sitting at the table talking about where we were going that evening, and what all we had to gather up. I will never forget when I looked at him and said, “What if God has our son in Haiti?” Lance stopped what he was doing and looked at me and said, “I’ve thought that, too.” I don’t know about you, but I don’t believe in coincidences. That night, Lance and I knew for the first time that we did indeed have five kids. This is a fact that we have never doubted since. After Lance’s trip in January, we both went to Haiti in May. To say it was a life-changing event would be an understatement. I fell in love with a country and a people unlike anything I have ever experienced. We did medical clinics for desperately hurting people. Some of these clinics were held in orphanages, and the pastors in charge of these orphanages were able to talk to us about adoption. We went back to Haiti again in November of that year. Between May and November, we
learned some pretty upsetting information: We weren’t allowed by Haitian law to adopt from Haiti because we had too many biological children. We were so discouraged. Missionary friends in Haiti told us repeatedly about an amazing American-run orphanage, but this orphanage still would not work with us because we didn’t meet current Haitian law. During that November trip, we went to a Bible study one night at a missionary’s home. We were discouraged, wondering how in the world we were going to adopt from Haiti when all the circumstances surrounding us said it wasn’t going to happen. Doubt was creeping in on so many levels. The missionary leading the Bible study spoke about a child that God gave her, and how God fulfilled a promise to her that seemed impossible. There is so much to be said about that evening, but time and space will only allow me to say that God spoke to us that night. His Holy Spirit settled on us in a tangible way, and confirmed to us His promise that we had a son in Haiti, and that He would bring it to pass. When God calls you, He will work in mighty ways to accomplish what He has called you to do. From that night in 2010 to now, God has proven Himself faithful! In August of 2011 we found out that Haiti had voted on new adoption laws and would allow families with five or less biological children to adopt. We contacted the orphanage we were told about (God’s Littlest Angels, www. glahaiti.com) and they said they would work with us! We contacted Bethany Christian Services, a very well respected adoption agency, and began the paperwork. Oh, the paperwork... Just the word dossier sends chills up my spine! Other adoptive parents will totally get that! We got an email from our adoption agency in March of this year. It had a list of “waiting children” in Haiti. A waiting child is a hard-toadopt child, usually a child with physical or mental delays, but also older children. Once a child reaches a certain age, they are harder to place for adoption, because most people want a baby or younger child. I was reading through the email and looking at the profiles of the children at our orphanage, and one boy pricked my heart. His alias was “Riley.” He was 10, and that was my hang-up. In all of our paperwork, we listed that we wanted a boy between ages four and seven. “Riley” was several years older than that. I called our agency social worker to get all the information I could on “Riley,” whom we found out was actually Rilinxe, pronounced way-LEE. Luke is our only boy among three daughters: Sara, age eight, Hope, age seven, and Emma, age
[ story continued next page ]
ing r e w s An
ll a c S I H
five. At the start of this journey, we always knew that God had another son for us and a brother for Luke. Rilinxe is only five months younger than
Luke, so Luke will have a brother to be his buddy. Everything was spinning fast. This wasn’t how it was supposed to work. We were supposed to be matched with a child, then given a referral, and accept or decline that referral. We weren’t supposed to look at a picture in an email and say, “We want him.” It didn’t seem real. I drove out to our farm to tell Lance everything our social worker had said about Rilinxe. While I was telling him about Rilinxe’s age and when his birthday was, I suddenly gasped and started bawling. I hadn’t realized when talking to our case worker that God had given me an answer to a very specific prayer that I had prayed to Him. A year before we got the email with Rilinxe’s information, I prayed and asked God if our son, whoever he is, could have a November birthday. Lance, Luke and Hope all have birthdays in June, Emma and I are in August, and Sara is all by herself in November. This would mean Sara would have a birthday buddy, and our new son would know that he was meant to be a part of our family. Rilinxe’s birthday is November 1st. Let that sink in: November 1st. God cares about the details in our lives, even the smallest details. The deadline to submit a dossier was October of last year. We missed this deadline, but the next God-sized miracle in our story (and surely not the last) is that in May of this year the government said they would allow submission of dossiers that were matched with waiting children. We were successfully submitted! So, now we are waiting for God to move mountains again and bring our son home. I am checking my email daily, hoping to see the one that says we have exited the courts and can fly to Haiti to meet our son in person and advance to the next stage of the court system. We have sent Rilinxe two photo books of our family and letters from us, and our amazing orphanage sends us updates each month with pictures of our boy. We were able to see pictures of Rilinxe’s face when they gave him our photo book and told him he has a family! And what sweet amazing letters he wrote back to us! It has been amazing to see our four kids get so excited about their new brother. They wanted to be a part of this process, so they are selling Haitian paper bead bracelets to raise the money for Rilinxe’s plane ticket home. I am a blessed woman. I feel like King David in 2 Samuel 7:18. “Who am I, oh Lord God, and what is my house, that you have brought me this far?” Thank you, God, for working in mighty ways to accomplish Your calling.
36 November 2013
Sun
Tues
Mon
Annual Holiday Open House & Tree Auction Downtown Siloam Springs 1-5 p.m.. Holiday Open House highlights the new merchandise at retailers throughout Siloam Springs. Refreshments, door prizes, and a unique opportunity to shop locally for Christmas presents makes this one of Main Street’s most popular events!
Music Classes 1-2pm Terra Tots on the Square in Fayetteville
4
Giggles CLASSES! Little Giggles www.littlegigglesplay.com 10am is Toddler Music (18 months +) $6.25 per class, $12.50 Class + Open Play 11am Enrichment Mondays (Free with admission)
11
10
Veterans Day Parade – Fayetteville Square - 2:30pm Parade will start on Mountain around Church Ave and Mountain. It will go around the square and finish at Locust Ave and W. Center St. Patriotic Concert – Fayetteville Town - 4pm
17
Lights on the Square November 16 December 31, 2013 Downtown Bentonville Square www.downtownbentonville.org The picturesque square holiday lights go on at dusk. Ice skating at Lawrence Plaza Nov. 23-Jan 20. Live music and food available add to the festive spirit.
24
20th Annual Lights of the Ozarks November 23 - December 31 Fayetteville Historic Downtown Square & Dickson thelightsoftheozarks.com/ Exhibit of 1/2-million lights expands this year from the historic downtown square all the way to Dickson Street; parade on the 23rd; pony, camel and carriage rides; choirs perform holiday favorites on the square
We
5
Homework Helpers Fayetteville Public Library Every Tuesday and Thursday until Thu Dec 19 2013 - 4:00pm The Fayetteville National Honor society members will host free tutoring sessions in the Children’s Library
Family Night Events - Every Tuesday at Chick-fil-A in Rogers and at Bentonville location from 5:30 - 7:00
Pinocchio Tuesday, November 12 November 13 Walton Arts Center www.waltonartscenter.org/
12
Family Night Events Every Tuesday at Chick-fil-A in Rogers: 5:30-7:30 p.m and at Bentonville location from 5:30 - 7:00 Music Classes 1-2pm Terra Tots on the Square in Fayetteville
18
Giggles CLASSES! Little Giggles www.littlegigglesplay.com 10am is Toddler Music (18 months +) $6.25 per class, $12.50 Class + Open Play 11am Enrichment Mondays (Free with admission) Chick-fil-A Storytime 10-10:30 am Martin Luther King Blvd Fayetteville Music Classes 1-2pm Terra Tots on the Square in Fayetteville
25
Irving Berlin’s White Christmas Walton Arts Center This production tells the story of two buddies putting on a show at a magical Vermont inn and finding their perfect mates in the process. family!
Family Night Events - Every Tuesday at Chick-fil-A in Rogers: 5:30-7:30 p.m and at Bentonville location from 5:30 - 7:00
26
Homework Helpers Fayetteville Public Library Every Tuesday and Thursday until Thu Dec 19 2013 - 4:00pm The Fayetteville National Honor society members will host free tutoring sessions in the Children’s Library
Giggles CLASSES!! Little Giggles www.littlegigglesplay.com 10am Children’s Yoga (3yrs+) $6.25 per class, $12.50 Class + Open Play 11am Story Time 3:30pm Story Time
Giggles CLASSES!! Little Giggles www.littlegigglesplay.com 10am Children’s Yoga (3yrs+) $6.25 per class, $12.50 Class + Open Play 11am Story Time 3:30pm Story Time
Giggles CLASSES!! Little Giggles www.littlegigglesplay.com 10am Children’s Yoga (3yrs+) $6.25 per class, $12.50 Class + Open Play 11am Story Time 3:30pm Story Time
Giggles CLASSES!! Little Giggles www.littlegigglesplay.com 10am Children’s Yoga (3yrs+) $6.25 per class, $12.50 Class + Open Play 11am Story Time 3:30pm Story Time
Thurs
ed
6
7
Boingo Bounce boingobounce. com Toddler Time Tu,W mornings 9-1pm
13
Boingo Bounce boingobounce. com Toddler Time Tu,W mornings 9-1pm
20 Boingo Bounce boingobounce. com Toddler Time Tu,W mornings 9-1pm
27
Fri
1
8
Homeschool Friday Fun Crystal Bridges November 8, 15, and 22, 2 to 3:30 pm Designed for families who want to provide their homeschool students with enriching and fun activities that incorporate inquiry, discovery, and studio art-making. Explore the African masks and other works in the exhibition The Artists’ Eye: Georgia O’Keeffe and the Alfred Stieglitz Collection, and then create your own modern masterworks. $45 ($36 for Members) / 3 classes, register online or at Guest Services.
14
Sat 2
International Game Day 2:00 pm Springdale Public Library Celebrate International Game Day with library games, classic board games, or your very own game!
9
Alice In Wonderland Mad Hatter Tea Party. Fayetteville Public Library 1pm Cast members from the upcoming production of Disney’s “Alice In Wonderland,” will visit with guests, pose for pictures and autographs, perform songs from the show, and read from the book. For more information regarding the production, visit www. artslivetheatre.com.
16
Preschool Playdate | Sky 11:30 am to 2pm Crystal Bridges Monthly Preschool Playdates feature performances, art projects, games, and storytelling based on themes from our collection. Activities are geared for children ages 2 to 5 with an adult. Sponsored by The Hershey Company. Free, no registration required. http://crystalbridges.org/education/youth-family/
Christmas Bazaar November 15th and 16th Featuring local crafts and various vendors www.brighthavenshines.com Holiday Bazaar Community Christian siloamspringsheritagefestival.org 9 a.m.-4 p.m.
21
22
Fayetteville on College and 6th St. Bentonville on Walton Rogers on Walnut and Pleasant Grove
29
28 Pinnacle Hills Promenade and the NWA Mall
Holiday Hoopla November 30 - December 25, 2013 Frisco Stage-Downtown Rogers mainstreetrogers.com 5 p.m. lighting of the 27-foot tall Christmas Tree at the Frisco Stage on Nov. 30; Santa arrives that evening in a very special way Admission: Free
JOIN OVERDRIVE FOR A NEW SERIES EACH SUNDAY IN NOVEMBER SUNDAY EXPERIENCE 10:30AM 902 E Main Street on the Corner of Main & Gunter Streets OVERDRIVE is part of NetworkChurches.tv; a ministry of Lifechurch.tv What do you do to get through the day? We allow certain habits to help us deal with life, but sometimes the bad ones can become part of our identity in dangerous ways. During this series we will see that it is time to separate ourselves from our so-called NECESSARY SINS!
How God Wrote Our Story Story by: Kari Kidd Photos by: Nic Taylor Tenth Avenue Studios
W
e had been married for just two years when we felt we were ready to start trying to have a baby. We had no idea what was in store for us on the road ahead. Each month when we found out we were not pregnant, we were so let down. It felt like everyone around us was getting pregnant within a month or two of trying, but we continued to pray and hope that God would bless us when His timing was right. After a year of heartache, we decided it was time to talk to the doctor. We had several tests run on both of us, and I even had surgery to check and make sure everything was good for me to conceive a sweet baby one day. The doctor had some concerns about the results from tests on both of us, and referred us on to a fertility clinic. We were super excited and nervous, thinking they might be able to help. The day of our appointment came and we thought we would finally get some good news. We expected them to make recommendations and encourage us that it would happen. Instead, they told us we had less than a 1% chance of conceiving on our own. They told us IVF (In-vitro fertilization) was the only chance we had at getting pregnant. We were crushed. I cried the entire two-hour drive back home. This wasn’t a problem that we could solve, and we knew that even if we did explore IVF, it still wasn’t a guarantee. Nothing about this felt right. This was a hard season for us. However, right in the middle of this time, the most amazing thing happened: God brought us closer together. We prayed for our
44 November 2013
future children and that God would give us clear direction on what He had in mind for us. It wasn’t easy to answer the constant questions from others --“When are you guys going to have a baby?”--but we had settled in and eventually became comfortable telling people we hoped it would happen someday but it just hadn’t yet. Two years later, I experienced a breaking moment. I can remember crying out to God, “I am so confused and lost! I always dreamed of being a mommy, and now I cannot even be one!” After saying that, I felt something, like God was comforting me and trying to tell me something but I couldn’t understand what it was. One evening during the next week, God spoke to me louder and more clearly when he brought three special individuals into my life: two little girls and their foster mom. It sounded like one of the little girls might be needing a permanent home sometime in the future. It broke my heart to know that we wanted children so badly and that there were children in our area in need of loving parents that would protect and care for them. This little girl was a student at my school and I knew her very well, but until that evening I had no idea about her situation. I asked God, “Are you calling me to do something about this? Are we supposed to help this little girl somehow? Are we supposed to adopt her?” We definitely started to feel something we had not felt in a while. We felt like God was showing us what He wanted us to do, but we still had no idea where to begin.
We started researching what might be involved, because we had no clue. We learned that in order to be eligible to adopt a child out of foster care, we would either have to become an adopt-only home or an open foster home. This was the first time foster care had ever been placed on our hearts. Not knowing the first thing about foster care, we started making phone calls. We were put on hold, transferred, promised to be called back and even hung up on. That went on for two days before I decided that if they were not going to talk to me on the phone, I would go and speak with them in person. I sat in the DHS office until someone would talk to me. Finally, I ended up speaking with the sweetest person and she told us everything we needed to do. Shortly after that conversation, God pointed us to The CALL. The CALL, Children of Arkansas Loved for a Lifetime is an amazing organization that provides a Christian support network for foster parents.
The CALL loaded up our car with baby girl clothes, toys, high chairs, bedding and the like. I was in tears. Our neighbors and friends brought us clothes, cribs, pack-n-plays, diapers, and meals! Our family drove many hours to provide us with some support and to meet the little ones.
Finally, we felt like we were getting somewhere. God started opening up doors and there was no question that we were doing exactly what He wanted. Everything fell into place beautifully. We were considered an open foster home after only a few short months, which is typically unheard of. We have personally known people that were in the process of getting their home opened for six months to a year.
Fast forward seven months, and what we were told could not happen has happened. We are expecting our third little blessing in April 2014! God is good ALL the time! He has made our story one that glorifies Him!
While our home was in the final stages of being opened, the little girl that had drawn our attention to foster care in the first place was being adopted by her foster family. We realized that God had put her in our path to direct us towards foster care, and this gave us even more confidence that we were hearing Him loudly. We began to pray for the children that God would place with us. We were so excited, and so terrified. We had all this love and could not wait to share it with a child, even if it was only for a small period of time. As we prepared, we thought we might have older children, so we bought three beds and toys for older kids. We never expected to have a baby, let alone two, placed with us. Little did we know, our very first placement would be two beautiful baby girls. When we got the call for these two baby girls, my heart skipped a beat. We needed two cribs! We had no baby toys, or bottles, or‌ anything for a baby! Without hesitation, and very little delay, we had two baby girls. We knew we would love them, whether it was for a week, a month, or forever. We were overjoyed! Our friends, family, and The CALL were all blessings.
Fourteen months of riding on an emotional roller coaster led to a day that was both wonderful and saddening. We got the call that our girls were going to need a forever home. We were overjoyed when we heard that we would get the privilege of being their parents, but also saddened by knowing what that meant in regards to their biological parents. We had heard that the termination of parental rights feels like the death of your child. Many, many prayers were placed over these two beautiful girls: prayers for safety, protection, and wisdom for the decision-makers in their case. It felt like forever before we finally got our adoption date, and I don’t think we believed it was actually going to happen until it did.
Sharing Time
No more Inhaler!
we were desperate for a way to keep her from getting sick jbohannon.myshaklee.com
I
am a stay-at-home mom with a great husband, four wonderful children and two dogs. We have lived in Northwest Arkansas for the past seven years. In 2006, I had my second child, a beautiful girl named Taylor, who was small, but perfect. I think Taylor got her first ear infection at around three months old. By the time she was 18 months old, she had had over twenty ear infections, tubes put in her ears and her adenoids removed. That helped for a while, but she continued to get sick all the time. In 2009, she was hospitalized for pneumonia, strep, influenza and an awful ear infection. After that hospitalization, she developed asthma. I remember having to spend an entire morning in the doctor’s office doing breathing treatments in an attempt to keep her out of the hospital. She got sick all the time, and I decided that asthma would simply always be an issue in her life. She had a preventative inhaler which she took every day, and a rescue inhaler to use as needed. Needless to say, we were desperate for a way to keep her from getting sick. Then, about a year and a half ago, a friend of mine introduced me to Shaklee’s “Get Clean” line. Even though I had heard on the Oprah Show that the “green” cleaners from Shaklee reduced asthma symptoms, I was skeptical. However, about a month after using
Story by: Julie Bohannon Photo by: Stephanie Henderson
the Get Clean line and getting all the toxic junk out of my house, I realized that I hadn’t had to give Taylor her rescue inhaler during that time. Within another two weeks, she no longer needed the preventative inhaler, either. I don’t think we’ve had to refill either inhaler in about a year, which is great, because inhalers are expensive! Out of the Get Clean Kit I have only had to replace laundry and dish soap, which has saved me hundreds of dollars. By the time Taylor goes to college I will have saved thousands and thousands of dollars just on cleaning supplies, not to mention doctor bills and prescriptions! Shaklee has done more than just improve Taylor’s health. My son’s eczema disappeared, and he doesn’t break out in hives anymore, which was once a weekly occurrence. My husband has lost 35 pounds drinking their line of “180” smoothies (and working out). I began taking the Vitalizer vitamins, and they give me the energy I need to get through my day. Shaklee is good for the planet, good for my home, good for my children and good for my wallet. Because of my experiences, I’ve made Shaklee my business. My mission is to help other families who are in situations similar to where we were two years ago while providing for my family’s future. I want to be able to continue to be a stay-at-home-mom, to be able to retire and still bring in an income, and I want to pass my Shaklee business down to Taylor. Shaklee is an amazing company to partner with. You can truly make a change in our world! Your family will be healthier, as well as other families. I would love to help you, either by introducing you to some of Shaklee’s amazing products, or by partnering with them.
46 November 2013
Please contact me at jbohannon2@gmail.com or call/text at 479-381-7892. You can also visit jbohannon.myshaklee.com
Voice recognition service allowing Deaf and Hard of Hearing to use the telephone.
the o road t Africa
I
t’s funny when God brings scripture to new light in terms of the chapter of life you are in. Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you…” a verse I (and probably most) tend to lean on in hard times reminding myself that God’s got “this,” whatever “this” is. That very same scripture came to life and brought all new meaning when we saw God was placing our family in Malawi, Africa. God knew the plans He had for us, even when we never saw it coming -- plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future. I will admit that our family didn’t always have this master plan in mind, thankfully though it didn’t take too terribly long before we stopped running and just said “yes.” We didn’t have a clue that would involve being 9000+ miles away from everything and everyone we loved and counted as safe. I am certain he wanted the surrender before he laid out the plans. He knows me…he’s smart like that. Before we realized God was calling our family to the mission field of Ntcheu, Malawi Africa, we thought
48 November 2013
by: Lacey Carney
we were moving to Guatemala. We had made several trips there to minister and to even build out a home inside the walls of the orphanage; certain this was what we were called to do. A little girl stole our hearts in Guatemala, and we thought she would be a part of our family as well. We had even gone as far as selling everything and purchasing six one-way tickets. Once again, however, God brought us to our knees and reminded us that he was in control and he indeed had a plan and that plan was neither Guatemala nor our sweet Elizabeth. We started completely fresh but always trying to make decisions based on the fact that God had called us to something more. Romans 11:29 for God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable. In the process of starting over, we asked ourselves what we could do differently with this second chance at life in our safe zone. We didn’t want to wait to live like a missionary until we landed somewhere else. (David Platt, Radical) In James 1:27, it says “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their
distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.“ For our family, that meant praying about and pursuing adoption. Needless to say, our plan for adoption was slightly different than his. Jason and I thought adding a little girl to our family of four boys through a domestic adoption was the perfect scenario. That plan failed not once, but twice. Our hearts were broken, and we thought maybe that door was closing until we did some praying and research on adoption through DHS. We went into the process as an ‘adopt only home,’ and as you can guess…God changed our hearts. In August 2011 we took in a sibling group and went from a family of six to eight overnight. To say our world was rocked would be an understatement, to say our hearts were open to a whole new world would be right on the money, and to say Jesus gave us a mere glimpse of the brokenness he see’s would be a definite. We took in one more temporary placement before our forever girls came into our lives to stay. God worked some true miracles in their story of joining our family! Our adoption was final May 31st, 2013 and by June 30th we had new birth certificates and passports in hand and by July 19th we were boarding a plane for Malawi Africa. Now tell me that’s not a miracle! July of 2012, my husband got a text from a man on a short-term mission trip to Esther’s House. He mentioned “man I could see you here.” My husband text me “could you move to Malawi?” We joke that
I thought he said Maui…but truthfully I knew where he meant --Africa! I text back without hesitation “absolutely!!!” We decided a long time ago our “yes” was not conditional. The rest is history. We didn’t know how or why or when, but before the questions barely surfaced God had the answers. Jason left with a team in August of that year praying and believing we would know without a shadow of a doubt this is where he was leading us. God most definitely confirmed the tug in our hearts. Jason stopped at an elderly woman’s home in the village and when he arrived she had two glasses of tea on her front porch. She informed him through the interpreter that God had told her to be faithful, to fix the tea, and wait. She was to wait for the white man who would come and pray blessings on her. The cool thing is Jason had prayed the night before for God to show him he was doing the right thing. There are a few more stories from that trip that confirmed this calling. In fact, the day after he returned we went to lunch together and discussed the trip, and all the questions of how, why, when. As we are leaving the restaurant, we were approached about the possibility if we would ever consider selling our business!!! I am sure you
[ story continued next page ]
hard, and most importantly has taught us to daily rely on Christ for ALL things.
the o road t Africa don’t see the connection, but that was one of our BIG how’s. One of the others was the girls and the timing of their adoption. As you know, that one fell right in to place, not too soon and not too late. I will admit it could have been finalized a little sooner. I wouldn’t have complained. Through all of it God brought along a team, who I now consider part of my family. He brought about funds from people we barely knew to launch us here, he provided big things, little things, strengthened relationships, stronger bonds between family and friends, a church community that surrounded us with love and support, precious letters of encouragement and prayers as big as the Himalayans, and he is continuing, even within the last few days of writing this, to build our monthly support team so we can continue to do the work he has called us to here in Malawi, Africa. We have been here for a few months, and let’s just say I only thought I had experienced events or things I felt rocked my world, HA! Nothing has compared to living in a third world country where you have no control over the water coming through the faucets or the electricity coming on -- whether you paid your bills or not. It is so frustrating and yet humbling all at the same time. It has changed our focus on what is important, what is
We have seen the poor, the sick, the dead, the heartbroken, the drunk, the sinners, the wicked, and most certainly seen God as real as ever in the smiles, the hugs, the children, the worshiping, the widows, the very spots you think he might not be. We have given food to complete strangers because we knew God was urging us to have compassion for the beggar. We have taken in a stranded, mentally challenged, starving woman on the side of the road and her young baby, fed, bathed, and clothed them, and reunited them with her family in a neighboring village. We have given rides to women carrying bags of maize bigger than your sofa. We have given jobs to families who were wondering where their next meal would come from and then sent them home with bags of food from our pantry. We can only do these things because of Christ foremost, because he gives us strength when we are weak and want to board the next flight home (My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfectly in weakness 2 Corinthians 12:9), and because of the many prayers and support from people all over. God has only just begun this new chapter in our lives. I can only dream what our next chapter holds, and knowing me I won’t even come close to what he has in store. This is what I do know, that God does have a plan, a plan that will prosper us, not harm, a plan that will give us hope and a future. Personally I can’t wait!! We would love nothing more than having you journey right along side us!! Blessings to you on your journey! Lacey
www.purecharity.com/carneys www.surrenderhappens.com
Dad’s View
$2.53
I
love Sonic. Seriously. Love. Sonic. I swear the little nugget ice has healing powers, and those close to me know that you see Ben without a Route 44 Diet Coke about as often as you see Haley’s Comet. Every morning at approximately 7:56AM, my truck can be found at the drive-thru, chatting up the Sonic folk and refueling my caffeine levels to take on another day of Walmart/Supplier shenanigans. Much like Norm at Cheers, they rarely ask for my order; it’s simply “$2.53… pull around.” $2.53 feels a bit steep, as that works out to around $7.07 a gallon, but it does make gassing up my seemingly unquenchable truck look slightly less painful. I’ve looked around to see what else could be had for $2.53. I found a talking greeting card, scented crayons, a Sponge Bob flashlight, a box of Twinkies (yeah, buddy!), 364 yards of lime-green yarn, a bottle of toilet bowl cleaner, 70 plastic plates or 4 liters of strawberry Fanta. All good options, but I’ll stick with the mystical magical wonders of the Sonic Route 44 Diet Coke. My kids used to think $2.53 was nothing--that is, until we started an allowance program and told them they were going to start shelling out their own shekels if they wanted an ice cream cone, a random plastic thingy or yet another box of Cheez-Its (honestly, our household ranks in the top 10 for worldwide Cheez-It consumption!) Now, $2.53 has more meaning to them; it’s more tangible. Rarely do the wife and I hear “Come on, it’s only $2.53!” or anything of that sort anymore. Money now has meaning to the munchkins. They’ve learned that with limited means of accumulating more fun tickets (cash!) they should be very careful how they spend them.
with Ben Lacy
Our kids also learned $2.53 has significant worth and meaning through working at a local church food pantry. Now, before we go on, I’m not placing my minions on any sort of a holier-than-thou pedestal. Believe me, they routinely try to crawl up and perch on their own ego towers and the lady of the house (my wife) and her lackey (me) do our best to see they are quickly thrown off their thrones. So, what else can $2.53 do? Through the tireless and tremendous efforts of the Northwest Arkansas Food Bank, $2.53 can purchase over 12 meals (at 20 cents each) for those in need, and there are far too many in need here in NWA. Suddenly, $2.53 has become very significant. Unless you are hiding under a rock (Plymouth perhaps?), you are quite aware that we are approaching Thanksgiving. In studying up on the holiday, I found that, like many historical events, there are some questions and fuzzy details surrounding it, such as exactly when the first Thanksgiving was held, who attended the festivities and why it seemed like a good idea. Today, unfortunately, Thanksgiving seems to be fast becoming known as “The Day Before Black Friday.” Yes, retail has horribly jaded me and I do truly hate turkey. But, in reviewing the historical notes, regardless of the authors or the accounts, it seems there were two agreed-upon themes of early Thanksgiving: thanks and sharing. The “thanks” came from the appreciation of a great harvest and the “sharing” came from those who were blessed with successful crops and offered some of their good fortune to those in need. Let’s face it: times are a bit dicey, and often I hear people (including myself) say they don’t know if they can share or don’t know how to share or, most often, don’t think what they can share is enough to make a difference. That is simply not true. Whatever you can share and whenever you can share, it matters and will make a difference. 25 cents helps, $2.53 helps, $25.30 helps, and $253 helps--whatever can be shared helps. If you have kids, involve them, too. After discussing this article with our 6-year-old, he was ready to share. However, he became sad when he looked into his wallet and found there were only $4 contained within. To him it didn’t seem like enough, but when I told him his $4 would purchase 20 meals, he said “Awesome, let’s go to McDonalds!” Not exactly what I meant, but he’s headed in the right direction. So this year let’s all try to remember the “sharing” part of Thanksgiving. Without sharing, the early Thanksgiving folk would have just sat around gorging themselves after cutting their crops and skinning their pigs (pigskin, get it?). Instead they decided to say “thanks” and “share” their bounty with those in need. Happy Thanksgiving to all! Give thanks and share, and remember, sharing isn’t about the size of your crop. It’s about the size of your heart.
American Adoptions an Insight into
STRESS
in the modern day woman
H
ave you ever had a college education in only 30 minutes? I definitely have. Some years ago, I was traveling in central Arkansas as part of my adoption legal practice, there to meet a prospective birthmother. I arrived a little bit sooner than I expected, and had to kill about 30 minutes of time. I was changing radio stations, trying to find something that would interest me. As I scanned the radio dial, I became exasperated. I did not want to listen to country music nor to political talk. As I continued to search I came upon the local NPR radio station that was about to begin a talk show moderated by Diane Rehm. I paused at the station. The topic of the day was stress in the modern day woman. I did not think that that applied to me, so I continued my search. Then, it dawned on me that I work every day with women in my adoption practice, and that it might be helpful to know what stresses they are dealing with. So, I decided to listen to the program. The expert on the topic was a female professor from Harvard University. The moderator started the program by asking the professor what types of problems modern day women encounter. In order to condense the volume of information in the 30-minute program, I will touch on a few of the examples that the expert mentioned. The first type of stress discussed was the kind experienced by a woman who is living with a drug addict or an alcoholic that is physically violent on many occasions. It is impossible to imagine living with this type of stress without experiencing it-the stress of not knowing from day to day when you might be assaulted, and living every moment on the edge. The next example was a situation where a single woman in her mid-30’s has children in elementary, junior high school, and high school. She is a waitress, and the sole provider for her family, trying to be active in school affairs and to provide for the needs of her children at the same time. The stress of holding down a job and raising three children on a low income is very intense. She worries about her children. She worries about her job. She worries about how she could better hold her family together. The stress that she has to deal with is absolutely overwhelming, and
the professor commiserated as to how difficult this would be for most women. Next, the moderator asked about other situations that confront today’s women. The expert then described the situation of a woman in her 50’s or 60’s who has elderly parents living independently or in a nursing home. Those parents need to be checked on one, two, or three times a day, and, almost everyday, situations present themselves that requires trips to personally check on the parents to ensure that everything is alright. The stress caused by this perennially exhausting condition may go on for years and years. Not only is this long-lasting situation stressful, but it diminishes the woman’s enjoyment of her own golden years. After a few more scenarios about stressful situations in life of modern-day women, Diane Rehm asked the professor, “Which of all the scenarios that you have discussed is the most stressful?” and continued, “Would it be a combination of the waitress with the three children and an alcoholic in the household, as well as elderly parents that might need to be checked on daily?” The professor said, “Oh, no! The woman who has the most stress in her life is a woman of childbearing years that wants a baby and cannot have one.” Wow! That is when I learned that an adopting woman does not just want a baby, but truly needs a baby. As a result of that experience, I gained a completely new perspective on how emotionally taxing the waiting is on an adopting mom. I have come to believe that the desire to adopt is more in the adopting mom’s DNA, and so much more overwhelming than a mere desire to have a child. She needs a child! -Eugene T. Kelley, Member of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys and Adoption Counsel for American Adoption Agency - Rogers. At the Kelley Law Firm, we understand adoption to be the human process it is, and that’s why we maintain a people-oriented, rather than paperwork-oriented program. To learn more visit arkansasadoptionservices.com or americanadoptions.com
(479) 444.1400 see ad next page..
g n i t n e r a P n i e c n a l a B g n i r e Off P
ick your clothes up off the floor! Get in the car – now! Stop tormenting your sister! Do your homework! How many times in a given day do you find yourself redirecting your children? Have you lost count today, and it’s only 10:00am? Children absolutely need caregivers to set limits, guide, and teach them. However, they also need support, encouragement, and affirmation. Children who receive primarily negative feedback from others tend to be more critical of themselves. They are more likely to engage in negative self-talk, which can lead to depressed and/or anxious feelings. According to Dr. Maria Montessori, “The child builds his inmost self out of the deeply held impressions he receives” (www. montessorisynergies.com). How do you find that balance between affirming your child while correcting him/her? That’s a challenging balance to maintain and one that will vary somewhat from family to family and from child to child. A general guideline is to provide five positive statements for every negative statement you make (www.gottman. com). That means every time you have to discipline or redirect your child, you will also want to offer five positive statements. You can begin to counterbalance those necessary corrective comments by utilizing the following strategies:
Be specific with your accolades.
Rather than saying “good job,” you might try, “Thank you for waiting so patiently while I helped your brother.”
Praise your child’s effort rather than the results he/she obtains.
For example, “You devoted a lot of time to that project. I’m proud of the research you did.”
60 November 2013
Avoid negating the impact of your compliment by surrounding it with negativity.
You may say, “Thank you for taking the initiative to clean your room,” as opposed to “You cleaned your room without my asking. I wonder why you don’t do that more often.”
Regularly spend time with your child doing something he/she enjoys.
The key to this one is allowing your child to select the activity and then giving him/her your undivided attention.
End each day by offering your child positive feedback at bedtime.
Bringing closure to the day with positivity will affirm your child and provide a moment of connection for the two of you. Parenting entails some incredibly challenging moments. Keep in mind that you can’t possibly get it right all the time. Afford yourself some positive reinforcement, too. Roxanne Ross, MS, LPC, LAMFT is a therapist for The Center for Psychology and Counseling. She is currently accepting new clients of all ages. About Roxanne Ross: Roxanne Ross is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Licensed Associate Marriage & Family Therapist. She received her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and Spanish from the University of Arkansas and later completed her Master of Science in Community Counseling and Marriage & Family Therapy at John Brown University. Roxanne’s background includes work in community mental health, school settings, and private practice. She has a passion for families and relishes working with children, adolescents, adults, families, and couples.
Beauty
Getting Your Skin Picture Ready Feature by: Jennifer Yount Licensed Medical Aesthetician Hull Dermatology and Aesthetics
F
(479) 254-9662
rom family gatherings to holiday parties, this time of year is full of social activities, which means that over the next two months, photo opportunities will increase exponentially. It is probably the most important time of the year to have our skin looking its very best. Have you ever put great effort into gathering the kids and even the family pet in order to get the perfect mantle photo? As you scan
and proof the photo, have you realized that everyone looks precious, but the camera angle was not so kind to you? When I experience this, I always wish that I were an expert at Photoshop editing, and promise myself to do more preparation the next time. In anticipation of these events, you may wonder about some great ways to get your skin glowing and cameraready in a short amount of time. A chemical peel is by far one of the best tools available. Without a doubt, people get nervous when they hear the word “peel,” but these treatments have come a long way since the “Sex in the City” days! Yes, the iconic episode where Samantha gets a freshening peel before Carrie’s book launch party definitely put chemical peels on the map-and not in a good way. Because of her red and swollen face, Carrie insists Samantha wear her black veil down at her event. To this day, many still ask, “Will I look like Samantha?” Not to worry! There are several “peel” options, and not all peels cause the skin to peel. There are three chemical peels made by SkinMedica that deliver fantastic results with minimal downtime. I call them our “Cadillac” peels because they have almost no sensation while on the skin. They also contain ingredients to enhance penetration and provide predictable results. Ideally, you want to do a chemical peel a minimum of two weeks prior to an event. I suggest more like three to four weeks. I will list the peels in order of mildest to strongest. Illuminize peel: This is a great “first time” chemical peel. It is perfect for someone with sensitive skin who may be unsure of the effects of a chemical peel. A slight tightening of the skin, improvement in clarity, better color and smoother skin texture are also benefits you will notice after the this peel treatment.
62 November 2013
Vitalize peel: This peel is suitable for all skin types. It is good for brightening the skin, evening skin tone, and improving texture. It can treat acne and hyperpigmentation. It is great for fine lines and
wrinkles and subtly improves the skin texture and tone. Rejuvenize peel: This is the deepest peel. Indicated for moderate to severe skin conditions, including sun damage, lines and wrinkles, acne, texture and hyperpigmentation. Darker skin types may need to start with Vitalize first. All of these peels deliver fantastic results! They are great as a single treatment, but can be done in a series for even better results. A good consultation is essential and will determine which one is right for you. In an ideal situation, also getting a facial treatment a few days before an event really helps to hydrate, smooth and brighten the skin for optimal results. Finally, what can you do the day of an event or family gathering to make your skin as photogenic as possible? First, cleanse the skin very well. Next, use an exfoliator like a light scrub to further brighten the skin. Always hydrate well after exfoliation. I love serums for this reason because they deliver a lot of hydration to the skin and they do not feel heavy. Be sure to finish with a makeup primer. These are creams that fill in and smooth out imperfections in the skin and add a beautiful radiant glow. Whatever you decide, having a professional guide you
through these steps is very important. If I can help in any way, please do not hesitate to call and make an appointment. Consultations are free. With over 12 years experience as an esthetician, I can educate you on the many treatment options available. It’s very exciting when you see changes in your skin--especially when others start to notice!
Note from Hull Dermatology: At Hull Dermatology and Aesthetics we are committed to providing the most effective treatments the market has to offer. Please join us at our Open House event on November 7th from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. at Hull Aesthetics in Rogers. It will be an extremely informative day of demonstrations. Our Open House event will offer discounts on many facial and cosmetic treatments. (479) 254-9662. Opt 2, or www.hullderm.com. We look forward to seeing you!
Adoption Update
To read the original story visit: www.peekaboonwa.com/meet-parke-henry-gibson
Meet Bretton James Gibson Story by: Lindsey Gibson Photos by: Stephanie Henderson Photography
S
ome of you may have seen our story about Parke that ran here in February. If you didn’t, here is a brief overview of our first adoption experience earlier this year. You can read more about Parke’s short and special life on our blog. Parke Henry Gibson was our first blessing through adoption. We were matched with Parke in the fall of 2012 and soon found out that something wasn’t “right” after initial ultrasounds. We were attached to he and the birth mother from the second we met, so even though the option was there to back out, we continued to pursue the adoption. In utero, Parke was diagnosed with 5 congenital heart defects and given very few options for life. He was given a life expectancy of 2 days-2 weeks. We prepared our hearts to love our son for as long as we
were able to have him, and we began begging God for time and healing for our precious Parke. Parke was born on January 10, 2013. He came out breathing on his own, had beautiful color, and was able to take a bottle just like a normal baby. Parke seemed so “normal” and “healthy,” and we had been prepared for something much different. We were able to take Parke home after a short 24 hours in the hospital to in-home hospice care. The 2 day and 2 week milestones passed, and Parke continued to live normally despite his severe conditions. We held and loved Parke for a full 7 weeks before he went to be with Jesus. On his 49th day, he passed away peacefully in my arms snuggled up in our bed.
Our hearts were heavy over the loss of his life, but we are abundantly grateful for the time we got to spend with Parke. His life was much more than we ever expected. He lived a full and happy life at home without mechanical support. His life served a great purpose and we rest in the peace of knowing that we will be joined with him again one day.
O
ur adoption journey with Parke gave me moments where I trusted God, but struggled to see his plan while everything was happening. After Parke passed away, God continued to move within my heart and assure me that he had every intention of making my heart whole again...I just had to trust Him. Part of trusting and obeying God was Micah and I deciding to move forward with open hearts and minds about another adoption. We talked about what we thought our family and our hearts could handle, and we decided that we might not want to adopt a baby again, and we definitely didn’t want to adopt a Marshallese baby boy ever again. Micah and I decided to meet with a local Christian organization that helps families get prepared to be
foster parents in Arkansas. We decided after meeting with them that we would be open to adopting a child of any age, race, or gender...we specifically talked about adopting a teenage girl. We came home that night in June, and I prayed that God would bring us our next child and make it clear who that would be. We knew that we would have months of training and home-studies coming up with changing from private to state adoption, but we just wanted to express to God that we would take whatever he sent our way. We told God that we were open and willing to open our hearts and family to any child he had planned for us, and we prayed that he would make our paths clear. The next day, God did just that. I received multiple phone calls from a number in Oklahoma that I didn’t recognize. Finally, I received a text message asking me to call them immediately. When I called back, I was surprised to hear Parke’s biological aunt on the phone. I had tried to stay in contact with his family, but I had not heard from them in months because their cell phones were turned off...and part of the family had moved away from Northwest Arkansas. She shared with me that her sister (another sister that I had never met, not Parke’s mama) was pregnant with her 6th child, and currently had a 10 month old. She was
[ story continued next page ]
Meet Bretton James Gibson
pregnancy, and then dropped the bomb on me towards the end of the conversation....it was another BOY. Initially, my heart sank thinking of Parke and feeling the burden of “replacing” him. I didn’t want another boy that looked like him. I didn’t want another boy that was born the same year he was. I didn’t want another boy that would remind me so much of our loss. I told the sister that I would talk with Micah about it, and that we would call her back. Micah was as shocked as I was when I told him about the call. Initially, neither of us knew if we should move forward or not. We PRAYED! I called a million friends to pray, and we again asked God for clarity. As we talked and prayed about it over the next few days, God began convicting me that I had said to multiple people, “I will never adopt a Marshallese boy again. I just can’t.” I had told the people we discussed foster care and/or state adoption with that
“
due in August, and she would like for us to adopt her baby if we were willing. She had been told all about our family from her sisters, and she expressed that it would be a relief and blessing for us to give her baby the opportunities that she felt she could not give with her situation.
I was shaking and so, so shocked. The day before, Micah and I both felt like we were turning another direction, but we had prayed for God to make our paths clear....this seemed to come from thin air. The sister went on to tell us that she had been trying to find our phone number for weeks, and that they were finally able to extract my number from an old cell phone to get in touch with us. They had worked hard to find us again, and they were certain that they wanted US to be the parents to this baby. They went on to tell me more details about the
We told God that we were open and willing to open our hearts and family to any child he had planned for us, and we prayed that he would make our paths clear.”
we would adopt anything in the world except another Marshallese boy. I had told God my heart was open to anything he had in store for our family, but really my mind was made up that would NOT be another boy that was anything like Parke. I didn’t think my heart could handle it. God showed me in those days, once again, that He has plans that are nothing like ours. Was I willing to trust Him and his perfect plan
or leave my heart in a place of “I can’t” or “I won’t”? That phone call and this second adoption opportunity gave our hearts another layer of peace and purpose to Parke Henry’s life. Ultimately, Micah and I said yes to the adoption, and we welcomed our precious son, Bretton James, in late August. He is the biological cousin and adopted brother to our sweet Parke. Bretton has brought so much joy to our family. He is a laid back, easy-going little thing, and Landry and Collier are crazy about their newest brother. I can’t imagine our family without him in it, and I am so thankful to see how God’s hand brought him directly to us. Every adoption story is so different, and even though the boys’ birth moms were sisters, things were very different between our two adoptions. Bretton’s birth mother and I texted constantly over the 2 months leading up to his birth. Their family was in poverty, and there were times where I couldn’t reach her for several days because her phone was shut off. She had 5 other biological children in her home, and that included a newly 1 and 2 year old (August birthdays) as well as a 4, 6, and 7 year old. She was in a desperate situation and knew she could not feed another mouth in her home. She told us many times how thankful she was for our family and how she was certain that this was the choice that she and her husband should make. As we continued talking even after Bretton’s birth, I was reminded of something that is all too often forgotten in beautiful adoption stories. She was sad…her heart was broken over her baby that she made the choice to put in our arms and in our family. She sacrificed her feelings and put herself through much heartache to give her child a life that she didn’t feel like she could provide. There is always a beautiful side and a broken side to adoption. In the midst of the excitement and joy within our family, we have tried to focus on praying regularly for Bretton and Parke’s biological families…what selfless people they were to choose the path of adoption for their boys. Obviously, 2013 has been a whirl-wind for our family. We’ve gone through two adoption journeys, the loss of a son, and chased our wild, growing toddlers. A year that could have been looked back on with sorrow and sadness has turned into a year of milestones and experiences for our little family. I will always look back on this year as the year I was blessed in so many ways. The year I saw God’s hand so clearly as I walked through this crazy life. I am thankful and excited that throughout Bretton’s life, we will get to talk about Parke and continue to discuss him being part of our family in a joyful, not sorrowful, way. I am thankful that God made our paths clear and is merciful to give healing to our hearts.
http://micahandlindseygibson.blogspot.com
Women’s Health Your Changing Body by: Ashley Mason, MD, OB/GYN Creekside Center for Women
5330 Willow Creek Drive, Springdale (479) 582-9268 www.creeksideobgyn.com
P
regnancy is a beautiful thing. This phrase is often heard, but to the pregnant individual it is not often felt. Most women have some idea of what all is to come starting from the moment they get a positive pregnancy test, but for most it is a roller coaster of surprises. Here is just touching the surface on some of the things you can expect when expecting:
Skin changes Yes, we all know about dreadful stretch marks, but it is not uncommon for there to be a redness on the palms of the hands (palmar erythema) or spider veins (angiomas) to develop on the arms, chest, neck, or face. These have no clinical significance other than correlating to the higher levels of estrogen in the pregnancy and for the most part disappear soon after pregnancy.
Breast enlargement First, it starts with the tenderness and tingling shortly after becoming pregnant. By month two the breasts start to enlarge and veins become noticeable just under the skin. Nipples will also enlarge and become a darker pigment. As early as the second trimester, you may even be able to express the colostrum, which is the thick, yellow fluid that comes before lactation. These are all normal changes.
Anemia During your pregnancy your blood volume increases 40%. This is nature’s way of protecting you from the amount of blood loss that happens with birth. Not all of the increase in blood is your red blood cells (the cells that carry the oxygen), most of the expansion is the plasma; therefore, despite the increase in blood
70 November 2013
you can still be anemic. These demands of increasing the blood volume along with the needs of the growing fetus make it important to take iron supplements during your pregnancy, which leads to our next issue.
Gastrointestinal issues Iron supplements along with the delays in the time it takes for your stomach to empty its contents in the intestine and the movement down the tract leads to constipation. Which can only worsen the hemorrhoids a pregnant woman is prone to having secondary to the high pressure in the veins below the level of the enlarged uterus. Also, due to relaxation of the sphincter in the lower esophagus, the acid that is secreted from the stomach can reflux into the esophagus causing heartburn.
Muscular aches/pains As the uterus grows upward and out to hold the enlarging fetus, the body has to compensate for its new center of gravity. In order to do this, the back tends to curve inward on the lower portion but roll outward around the neck and shoulders. This leads to compression on the nerves that come out of the neck and run towards your arms, known as the brachial plexus, and leading to temporarily nerve compression that results in carpal tunnel. To help relieve some of these woes it is often times recommended to try a pregnancy girdle to redistribute the weight. The pelvis also relaxes its ligaments due to hormonal changes in order to prepare for more room and opening of the pelvic outlet during labor. For almost any new change there is an explanation. Don’t hesitate to ask your physician about any concerns you may have regarding your new, but temporarily changed, body.
Meet Grand Marshall Rita Miller Veteran’s Day Parade 11/10/13
history1900s.about.com
Rita
Miller is a 93-year-old WWII veteran who served three tours as a wartime nurse. She will be in the Veteran’s Day parade in Springdale on November 11, 2013 this year, serving as one of the Grand Marshalls. Rita was born on June 23, 1920 in Anaconda, Montana, a tiny little copper smelting town that had about 12,000 people at its peak population. We had the amazing opportunity to speak to this national hero about her life, her service, and the Veteran’s Day Parade coming up this month.
Why did you decide to participate in the war effort? What was it like? I had lots of friends going into the army during that time, and I had always, always wanted to travel. I registered as army nurse and became a second lieutenant on April 15, 1943. My first assignment in was in Modesto, California, where my hospital cared for 3,500 patients from the South Pacific. Then, I signed up for an overseas rotation. Our sergeant for that assignment was particularly tough, and wouldn’t tell us where we were going until we were in the middle of the Pacific Ocean! We were finally told that we were headed to Alaska, and I spent two years in Alaska and the Aleutian islands. Alaska was still considered “overseas” during that time because it wasn’t a state yet. I got out of the service in 1946, three years later, because the government didn’t need us anymore. However, once I got to Anaconda, I decided I needed to get right back out of that little town and travel, so I went back into the Army! They sent me to Germany after that, to work at a hospital that used to
72 November 2013
be Hitler’s hospital. We had to reconstruct it so that we could have our patients there, and all the dishes had that little symbol underneath them, which was very, very weird for us. I was there for a year, and then came home to be with my mom in Anaconda for a year before signing up a third time. This time, I went to Japan, and completed my service there for a total of ten years of army service.
What did you do once you left the service? Well, I left the service because I had gotten married and pregnant women couldn’t be in the service. Before then, though, I became a captain, which was somewhat special and unusual for a woman to do. I went to work in Temple, and had three girls--two girl twins and a single girl. My husband’s relatives lived in Yellville, Arkansas, and so every time we visited them we would take the kids to the Buffalo River. The kids just kept wanting to go back all the time, so we decided we would just up and move to Arkansas. I nursed for about 34 years in all, and retired from nursing in 1973. Today, I’m doing fine, just getting old, that’s all. I don’t like to say that, of course, but it’s true!
Overall, would you say you had a positive experience being a wartime nurse? Oh yes, I liked my experiences. Travel was always something I wanted to do, and I would not have been able to do it alone. I was able to go to Japan, all over the US, Alaska, Austria, Germany, Switzerland and France. The government’s been very good to me. In those days we really nursed, and I feel like I helped a lot of people, which is very satisfying. Veterans Day Parade – Fayetteville Square - 2:30pm - November 10. There will be interactive stations for kids as well as a chance to interact with our WWII veterans beginning at 1:45 in front of the town center. There will be all sorts of military vehicles, military units, motorcycles, bands, emergency vehicles, and other things to see in the parade. Immediately following the parade there will be a free concert in the town center by the Singing Men of Arkansas and the Highlander Bagpipes.
For more info go to www.nwaveteransday.org
At a Glance ADOPTION
American Adoptions (Pg. 80) americanadoptions.com
ARTS and MUSIC
Imagine Studios (Pg. 68) (479) 619-6085 imagine-studios.com Kidz Art (Pg 36) (479) 271-2321 comber.kidzart.com
BANKS
First Security Bank (Pg.32) www.fsbank.com
CHILDCARE/NANNY SERVICES
Bright Haven (Pg. 71) (479) 717-2344 Happy Kids (Pg. 55) (479) 464-8686 The Kid’s Studio (Pg. 18) (479) 268-6675 www.thekidsstudio.com Larson’s Language Center (Pg. 66) (479) 633-9900 www.larsonslanguagecenter.com Mary’s Little Lambs (Pg 27) (479) 273-1011 Seeking Sitters (Pg. 48) (501) 203-3097 www.seekingsitters.com
CLOTHING / FURNITURE
3 Monkeys (Pg. 38) (479) 271-0701 Second Look Consignment (Pg 21) (479) 790-1536 Terra Tots (Pg. 63) (479) 587-TOTS www.terra-tots.com
DANCE/CHEER/TUMBLE/STRETCH
Academy of Dance (Pg. 63) (479) 966-0579 ; theacadademyofdanceandmusic.com Aspire (Pg. 58) (479) 464-9993 aspiregymnasticsacademy.com The Little Gym (Pg.71) (479) 636-5566 tlgrogersar.com
Dr. Brown - Orthodontics Exclusively (Pg. 16) www.drbrownbraces.com NWA Pediatric Dental (Pg. 43) (479) 631-6377 www.nwapdc.com
DENTIST / ORTHODONTIST
DERMATOLOGY
Hull Dermatology and Aesthetics (Pg 11) (479) 254-9662 www.hullderm.com NWA Center for Plastic Surgery (Pg. 2) (479) 571-3100 nwacenterforplasticsurgery.com
EDUCATION
Homeschool Tuesdays (Pg 50) (479) 935-9992 The New School (Pg. 29) thenewschool.org / (479) 521-7037
FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT
Fast Lane Entertainment (Pg 42) (479) 659-0999 www.fastlanebowl.com Mad Science (Pg. 37) (479) 444-0303 www.madscience.org/nwa The Party Place (Pg. 55) thepartyplacear.com (479 ) 230-9494 Rogers Historical Museum (Pg. 19) rogersarkansas.com/museum Starlight Skatium (Pg. 49) (479) 444-STAR Walton Arts Center (Pg. 57) www.waltonartscenter.org
FITNESS
Fayetteville Athletic Club (Pg. 28) (479) 587-0500 www.fayac.com Terra Tots - Terra Fit (Pg. 63) (479) 587-TOTS www.terra-tots.com
FOOD / DRINK
Cherry Berry (Pg. 19) (479) 876-8085 TCBY (Pg. 3) (479) 636-8229 (TCBY)
HAIR / NAIL / SALON
Mommy and Me Nail Salon (Pg. 67) (479) 903-7033 Pigtails and Crewcuts (Pg. 11) (479) 935-4121
HEALTH AND WELLNESS
THERAPY
HOME and YARD
TOYS
Tate HealthCare (Pg. 69) (479) 271-6511 / tatehealthcare.com WellQuest (Pg. 64) wellquestmedical.com (479) 845-0880
Arkansas Relay (Pg. 47) www.arkansasrelay.com Carpet Smart (Pg. 39) (479) 750-0117 / (866) 795-8520 Encore Flooring and Building Products (Pg. 35) encoregroupusa.com (479) 361-8900 OxiFresh Carpet Cleaning (Pg. 37) www.oxifresh.com
INSURANCE
Delta Dental (Pg. 9) deltadentalar.com
JEWELRY AND GIFTS
David Adams (Pg. 51) davidadams.com
LEARNING CENTER
Gideon Math and Reading Center (Pg. 73) (479) 521-6500 gideonmathandreading.com Kumon (Pg. 76) www.kumon.com Larson’s Language Center (Pg. 66) (479) 633-9900 www.larsonslanguagecenter.com Learning Rx (Pg. 53) Fay: (479) 695-1234 and Bentonville: (479) 715-6870
MARTIAL ARTS ATA (Pg. 79)
Bentonville: (479) 273-1212 / Fay: (479) 443-5425
OPTOMETRIST
Pediatric Vision Development Center (Pg. 62) nwavisiontherapy.com (479) 795-1411
PEDIATRICIAN
Best Start Pediatric Clinic (Pg. 15) (479) 575-9359 Bentonville Pediatric Clinic (Pg. 8) (479) 273-5437 The Children’s Clinic at Springdale (Pg.5) (479) 751-2522 Harvey Pediatrics (Pg. 25) (479) 254-1100 ; harveypediatrics.com MANA NWA Pediatric Clinic (Pg. 52) Wellness: (479) 443-3471 Urgent: (479) 442-7322
PLASTIC SURGEON
Dr. Jim Elkins (Pg. 65) www.drelkins.com / (479) 636-0300 NWA Center for Plastic Surgery (Pg. 2) (479) 571-3100 www.nwacenterforplasticsurgery.com
PRESCHOOL/ PRE-K
Larson’s Language Center (Pg. 66) (479) 633-9900 www.larsonslanguagecenter.com Mary’s Little Lambs (Pg. 27) (479) 273-1011
Gifted Journeys (Pg. 78) (818) 505-3026 www.giftedjourneys.com
SURROGACY SERVICES
Dr. Thomas Terry Lawson (Pg. 60-61) (479) 444-1400 www.terrylawson.com Tate HealthCare (Pg 69) (479) 271-6511 www.drtateadhd.com
Dilly Dally’s Toy Store (Pg. 22-23) (479) 27-5557
WOMEN’S HEALTH
Creekside Center for Women (Pg. 13) (479) 582-9268 Life Spring Women’s Health (Pg. 17) (479) 271-0005 lifespringhealthcare.com Parkhill Clinic for Women (Pg 51) (479) 521-4433 Siloam Springs Women’s Center (Pg. 59) (479) 524-9312 siloamwomenscenter.com Women’s Health Associates (Pg. 7) nw-physicians.com / (479) 553-2525
ULTRASOUND / BABY SHOWER
Baby Face and More (Pg.45) www.babyfaceandmore.com ; (479) 270-7391
DANCE
American Adoptions