March Pelladium

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Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. ~ The First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America

Moving Forward

Athletes make plans to move on to college level athletics. p. 5

Doing Good

Witness how Pella residents have surmounted life’s obstacles to make the world around them a better place. p. 6-7

NEWSÂ Â Â Â BRIEFS

t" UXP IPVS FBSMZ EJTNJTTBM for staff development is scheduled March 10. t4FOJPST /BEZB ,IBQPDILJOB +BLVC Martisovits and Todd Wegter were selected as National Merit Finalists, representing less than the top one percent of those who took the PSAT test in 2009. t4OPX VQEBUF 4FWFO TOPX days have accumulated for the district; students’ last EBZ JT +VOF 4FOJPST MBTU day is still May 25. tɨF UFBN PG TFOJPST ,BUF %F )BBO BOE -J[ Sample, sophomore Rachel Van Roekel and ,OPYWJMMF KVOJPS "NZ Turner represented Iowa at the Denver Stock Show +BO B OBUJPOBM competition testing horse knowledge and skill in judging horses. They placed seventh of 32 teams. tɨF %VDIFTT ZFBSCPPL received a Neubert Award in the Iowa High School Press Association Whole #PPL $POUFTU +PIOTUPO and Pella were the only yearbooks recognized with the top award. Thirty-three schools entered the contest. t+BLVC .BSUJTPWJUT KN QFMMBEJVN!HNBJM DPN

!"#$%&' ()#*&% At the Feb. 23 school board meeting, community surveys were reviewed to determine the most important criteria in calculating the school budget for next year. Based on the surveys, the priorities are protecting fulltime jobs and staff benefits, keeping class sizes small, having adequate supplies in classrooms, keeping academic support programs and absorbing positions. The board will determine the school budget after the Iowa Legislature decides how much state money will be given to the district. The school budget is scheduled to be approved by April 15. t+BLVC .BSUJTPWJUT KN QFMMBEJVN!HNBJM DPN

STOP. Traffic slows to a halt as parents wait to pick up students after eighth period in front of the school on East University Street. Stopped cars cause traffic to halt in the area as both lanes of traffic have no movement. This has caused at least four

accidents in front of or near the school, averaging $1,000 in damages. Unreported JODJEFOUT BSF TQFDVMBUFE UP IBWF PDDVSFE t1IPUP CZ #FO .VMMFS

School pick-up zone presents potential danger It’s likely every student who opts to drive to school daily has found himself trapped in that familiar morning-rush position: one foot on the brake, two knees on the steering wheel, one hand holding breakfast and the other on the horn as University Street is suspended in motion, and the dawn of first period draws nearer. Those who finally make it to their parking spots are dismayed to realize that the cycle will faithfully repeat at the close of the day. However, more troubling than this traffic congestion is its cause. According to administrators, upwards of 20 high school students are picked up and dropped off by a parent or guardian on a daily basis. Since parking spaces in front of the school along E. University St. are consistently filled by faculty and staff, parents waiting to drop off or pick up students have no choice but to illegally park on the shoulder of the street, hampering the flow of traffic and creating a hazardous situation. “Buses are coming, kids are getting out of school, and it’s a big inconvenience that there are no parking spots for parents to pick up their kids. It’s really a safety issue,� said Linda Simons, who picks up her son junior David Simons occasionally. No student, pedestrian or driver, has ever been injured in a vehicular accident on high school grounds, but police reports do show that there have been four accidents resulting in $1000 or more damages each since Sep. 2009 on E. University St. and E. 13th St. near the high school. It is estimated that unreported accidents of less substantial damage occur weekly. “If I didn’t think our drop off areas were safe, we wouldn’t be using

them. But, there could be a better way to do it,â€? said Superintendent Mark Wittmer, who noted that he experiences the daily traffic jams firsthand when he attempts to drive to Lincoln Elementary around the time the high school is released. â€œâ€Śeven getting out of the parking lot is an interesting experience,â€? he said. Wittmer believes that the biggest potential threat is not posed by the University St. parking system itself, but rather by parents’ poor choices of where to temporarily park their vehicles. “People want to pull up to the side of the road while heading east, so the kids have to walk across a lane of traffic. They should go around the block and have the student get out on the north side of the street. But, most people are going to do the most convenient thing instead of the safest thing in most situations,â€? said Wittmer. With lines of cars growing longer and daily schedules growing more hectic, many like Simons are yearning for renovation of the drop-off and pick-up areas adjacent to the high school. “I would like to see some designated parking spots,â€? she said. “Teachers and school kids get parking spots, and I think the parents should have some, too. It would be a great measure to ensure the safety of the kids.â€? Wittmer maintains that the best possible solution for the situation would be to construct a two-lane drop off driveway in the expanse of currently unused lawn in front of the high school. However, he mentioned that the costs for this additional construction would further stress the district’s budget. t/BUIBO ,PPLFS OL QFMMBEJVN!HNBJM DPN

District changes staff positions in face of new budget Change is imminent in staff positions in the upcoming school year. The 2010-2011 school year will see three new staff positions. “Three retirements created an opportunity to make cuts, without anyone losing their job,� said Principal Mark Lee. One of the positions is that of the physical education teacher replacing Margene Van Horn. Additionally, two new positions will be added, taking the place of the other three retirements next school year. These positions are a part-time assistant principal/student dean; the second position is a student dean/part-time social studies teacher. Each current position in the school needing to be filled will be filled, though not all will be fulltime. The physical education teacher position will be a fulltime job, but with the new positions, there will be cuts with the program. One cut that will be made is in the social

studies department. One of the student deans will take the place of fulltime social studies teacher Dave Bensink. This same dean will also take the position of the fulltime guidance

“Reducing costs is important with the budget problems, so I think cutting guidance/ administration and teacher positions is the right thing to do.�

Prinicpal Mark Lee

counselor Mike Ballenger. This means that the dean will teach various periods of social studies during the day, yet also be a guidance counselor, eliminating the previous fulltime position. The third position will incorporate two different jobs

- this one being assistant principal and dean, taking the place Lee. The job of the student dean will be to handle disciplinary action and teacher evaluations. These cuts in different positions will also create a better outlook for the school’s budget. Other retirements throughout the district include two secretaries, one maintenance worker, one elementary school principal, one tech coordinator and one elementary school teacher. “Reducing costs is important, with the budget problems, so I think cutting guidance/ administration and teacher positions is the right thing to do. The superintendent has indicated that with nine or ten retirements districtwide, hiring back fewer replacements and at lower salaries could save over $150,000,� said Lee. Interviewing is taking place this week. A decision will be made before spring break. t5BZMPS 3FOOJDI US QFMMBEJVN!HNBJM DPN

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The full name of Stanford University is “Leland Stanford Junior University,� founded by Jane and Leland Stanford in 1885.

Smith receives spot in page internship program

Most students heed to the traditional educational route by following a four year high school plan. Many refrain from considering all possible options and simply adhere to the cookie cutter plan for scholastic life. However, senior Brent Smith has chosen to pave a rare path for himself for a portion of the year by gaining a spot in the legislative page internship program at the capitol. Each year, the Iowa House of Representatives, Iowa Senate and Legislative Services Agency employ academically superior juniors and seniors to work as pages for the legislative session. Typically, pages begin their employment Jan. 14 and serve until May, when the session usually ends. However, special scheduling arrangements were made allowing Smith to participate in wrestling season. He began his employment as a page Feb. 22 and will serve until the session ends. Pages work days last from 8 a.m. until 4:30 p.m. with pay of $8.57 an hour for a 40 hour work week. The Legislature usually does not work on Friday during the early part of the session; however, when nearing the end of the session, extreme measures are sometimes taken, resulting in late hours and working Fridays. “I decided I wanted to apply to be a page because I am really interested in government and I dislike the fact that other students have no interest in it. I decided I didn’t want

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to be that way. It’s also a cool job that has good pay,� said Smith. The process for selecting a student for the age program is extremely competitive and selective because a large number of individuals competed for fewer than 20 spots. Most states require an application, recommendations, a resumÊ and completion of several essays. This year, 18 pages are

working at the capitol. The duties of a page vary with the type of page the individual chooses to be: a general Senate page, a House of Representatives page or a Legislative Services Agency page. “I decided to be a general-duty page because I didn’t want to be working for a specific person. I wanted to experience everything. I wanted to be able to work at the sergeant-atarms desk, attend committee meetings, work on the main floor and witness debates,� said Smith. General duty pages interact a great deal with senators and their staff as they are constantly responding to a plethora of requests from them. While filing and distributing bills are common, general-duty pages also assist senators and staff in committee meetings, and occasionally facilitate handling the Senate’s documents. Pages also monitor incoming telephone calls to senators when working at the telephone switchboard. “The work starts when I arrive at 7 in the morning. Then, we have an assembly at 10 with all the representatives. There is a prayer, then everyone quickly gets to work. Each day the pages are given a list of daily assignments that must be completed, and it’s our job to decide who is going to do what so everything gets accomplished,� said Smith. t$BSPMJOF 1IJMMJQT DQ QFMMBEJVN!HNBJM DPN

Three seniors choose Huang chosen to attend Stanford Summer Institute military route

While many seniors are beginning the trek to college, a handful have decided to take a different route: the United States Military. This post-graduate alternative has long been mistaken as merely wearing uniforms, enduring boot camps and being under strict authority. While these are definitely components of military life, many benefits also exist, such as: a pool of over 140 occupations, a steady paycheck, free medical and dental care and being a part of something bigger than yourself. One person embarking on that adventure is senior Brett Bogaard. Bogaard was recruited by the Navy after his stellar track season caught their attention. He plans on attending four years of school before serving for five years. “I really liked how organized and regimented everything is. It fits my personality better than a normal college would,� said Bogaard. Senior Pat Nunnikhoven is taking a similar route. He plans on enlisting in the Army and being employed as an explosive ordnance disposal worker, training him to diffuse explosives and destroy weapons and caches. “I suppose the biggest reason [I enlisted] was I wasn’t ready for years of school. The Army was a good deal. I got four years of college paid for and very large bonuses for my job. I get to see the world as well,� said Nunnikhoven. The U.S. Military Academy in West Point, N.Y., will soon host senior Brandon Zwank. Zwank plans on training and studying for four years, serve in active duty for five, and be in the reserves for three. “I decided to join the Army because of an innate appreciation for our country as well as for discipline, unity and selflessness,� said Zwank. “Work your tail off. The earlier you put in time, the more life comes to be a cakewalk. You will experience greater success. Work for the future. ‘Now’ is coming to an end.� t)FJEJ (SJUUFST IH QFMMBEJVN!HNBJM DPN

According to the Education Program for Gifted Youth &1(: UIF UXP UP GPVS XFFL 4VNNFS *OTUJUVUFT BU Stanford University provide an outlet for middle and highschool students to pursue their intellectual curiosities, while meeting others who share their interests. After the EPGY has provided over 50,000 students from 35 countries with an academic course of their choice, sophomore Shenstone Huang will be among the newest group of students to pursue his own exploration in the world of engineering. Though his acceptance to this prestigious program is an honor, nothing less could be expected from the talented student. According to math teacher %PVH $VUMFS XIP BTTJTUFE )VBOH during his application process, “Shenstone’s greatest attribute is his curiosity. He is one of those few students who goes beyond what he is being taught to truly understand concepts. He embraces what he learns, and will be successful in whatever he chooses to do.� Huang didn’t just receive acceptance though; he was first put through the strenuous process of applying. After first receiving an Email with the general information of the opportunities provided by the summer institutes, Huang went through an extensive procedure of writing essays and evaluations of himself and his work. Along with some teacher recommendations, Huang was able to finish his application by January. “The waiting was awful; at least when I was putting it all together, I had some control over what was going on. When I sent in everything, you don’t know how they are going to perceive your work or who you are. It’s not like you’re meeting them in person. I knew they would be contacting me on Feb. 3, so for the next few weeks, I just tried to put it in the back of my mind,� said Huang. Finally, Feb. 3 came, and Huang was informed of his admission to the 2010 EPGY Summer Institutes. He

is enrolled in the engineering program, his first choice. Huang will attend the June 20-July 9 session. With the guidance of EPGY Summer Institutes instructors, who are primarily Stanford University instructors and experts in their subject course areas, Huang will spend almost three weeks at campus residences, immersed in multiple fields of engineering, from aeronautical to mechanical. “When I found out I got in, I was very excited. I had spent such a long time on the application, it was such a relief to know my work wasn’t for nothing. My parents were also happy for me, I think they are glad to be rid of me for a few weeks. I know this whole thing is an amazing experience, and I can’t wait to be a part of it. I don’t think the whole magnitude of the program will hit me though until I’m actually at Stanford,� said Huang. The time spent at Stanford won’t just consist of building robots in mechatronics or radio-controlled gliders in aeronautics; Huang will also have the opportunity to experience some of the prominent BUUSBDUJPOT JO $BMJGPSOJB 4PNF excursions could include museums in San Francisco and spending a Saturday at a beach near Santa $SV[ 4PDJBM JOUFSBDUJPO JT POF of the largest focal points integrated with the Summer Institutes, and organizers have included dances, talent shows and other activities to let students get to know each other. Their hopes are to advance the student not only as a scholar, but as a person as well. i* XBOU UP HP BOE TFF XIBU T PVU UIFSF XIBU $BMJGPSOJB has to offer. I know studying engineering will only be an asset in the future, and I know I will gain some very useful knowledge. And, hopefully, I’ll be able to meet some great people, too,� said Huang. t.FHBO $BSE NDQFMMBEJVN!HNBJM DPN

“I know this whole thing is an amazing experience, and I can’t wait to be a part of it.� Sophomore Shenstone Huang

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There are more than 400 million active facebook users in the world today

Mock Trial debates terms of insanity

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SEARCH. Senior Conner Kelderman browses the web in study hall. “Not having teachers on Facebook doesn’t bother me because I’m not friends with any teachers. I try to stay away from friending teachers on Facebook anyway. Not because I have anything to hide, but CFDBVTF * UIJOL JU T XFJSE w TBJE ,FMEFSNBO t1IPUP CZ .BEFMJOF .FZFS

Defriending frenzy

Faculty/staff advised to curb Facebook activity Twitter, Facebook, MySpace; all have inherently affected students and staff, but have also prompted some unfavorable feedback from concerned parents and faculty. In an attempt to regulate these sites, teachers were asked in a Feb. 4 email from Superintendent Mark Wittmer to “defriend� any of their current students, and in doing so, protect themselves and the school from any libelous material found between TUVEFOU UFBDIFS FYDIBOHFT POMJOF “I certainly understand that the world of electronic communication is changing rapidly. I also understand the vehicles whereby people communicate with each other are changing as well. However, school personnel continue to have to be careful as to what constitutes professional interaction with students and what becomes too personal,� wrote Wittmer. Administrators would not disclose what the incident was, if any, that prompted such a concern. Despite the confidentiality behind what might have initiated an e-mail to start a Facebook policy stating that teachers should not be friends with any of their current students. “My personal policy is that I won’t friend anyone until they graduate from high school. It doesn’t really affect me greatly, but I have many of my former students as friends on Facebook now,� said English each other Jessica Williams. Along with “friending� students as contacts, Wittmer also talked about appropriate texting and e-mailing situations. “A text message about practice times is certainly appropriate. A text message about

how the weekend went would certainly not be appropriate. Please make sure that all texts are professional,� wrote Wittmer. The problem with “friending� and texting students is that although certain professional measures are expected, there is no way of efficiently enforcing such a policy. According to Witmer’s e-mail, there will be “training on Facebook in a month or so.� Assistant Principal Eric Nelson described what the training will be. “It [training] will address personal accounts as well as opportunities to have an account on activities through our school Facebook account,� said Nelson. Opinions differ on the new social networking and technologies policy. “I think that the district would prefer that faculty and staff follow the request. Because Facebook protocol was apparently violated, it probably was necessary. I enjoyed being able to encourage students in their endeavors, both in and out of journalism. I guess we will just have to do that in a different way,� said publications adviser Ann Visser. Administrators aren’t the only ones concerned over the relationships between students and staff online, Suzanne Card, an ISEA UniServe director has conflicting feelings towards teachers on social networking sites. “These are new technologies, and as a person who protects teachers rights as a living, I feel that social networking sites teacher’s can really expose themselves to speculation,� said Card. t.BEFMJOF .FZFS (mm.pelladium@gmail.com)

Ten students have joined together to decide if a mental disorder was a determining factor during the 2010 Mock Trial Case: State of Iowa vs. Kody Lee Shannon. This year’s Mock Trial case revolves around defendant Kody Lee Shannon. He suffers from schizophrenia. Shannon claims that schizophrenics cannot fully be held to their actions as a result of their condition. He is being charged with first degree murder and manslaughter as a result of the death of Anna Anderson and 26 additional incidents including sniper shootings or throwing of wood and bricks from an overpass. Shannon has plead insanity. The state claims that Shannon committed the murder of Anderson after deliberation and with intent. The state also claims that Shannon showed remorse by trying to conceal their involvement with the overpass incidents. It will be the job of the mock trial team to prove whether or not Shannon is guilty upon either side they argue. “I really enjoy the mock trial case this year and all of the camaraderie that goes along with mock trial; as well as the fact

that mock trial is the only time I get to argue with no consequences,� said junior Jacob Martin. In a Mock Trial case there are two sides, plaintiff or defense, and a team has to present a side of the case at any time during a competition. Each side of a case has three predetermined witnesses that three lawyers question within a preceding. During

admitted to having a slow start, but assures that with dedication, a strong showing will be made at the districts competition Mar. 10 in Mason City. “We’ve had a slower start this year since everyone has been so busy with other activities. I think it’s going to be largely based on how well everyone has been able to do on their own, and less on people relying on others to get stuff done,� said junior Jake Anderson. This year’s mock trial team is made up of freshmen Tim Seo, Mark Dykstra and Emily Whitt, sophomores Shenstone Huang, Tiffany Carter and Ramya Puliadi, and juniors Nick Dorman, Anderson and Martin. Collectively the team has 34 years of experience. “The hard thing about high school mock trial is that everyone is gun-ho about starting and joining a team, but once practice schedules are established, people start to quit because they can’t work mock trial into their schedules. No one wants to do this halfway, and it will all depend on how hard everyone is willing to work in order to achieve results,� said Wimmer. t+FTTJDB 4BMQPS (js.pelladium@gmail. com)

“Mock Trial is the only time I get to argue with no consequences.� Junior Jacob Martin a competition, two lawyers on each side have to deliver an opening or closing statement that the students write about the case. Practices to prepare for this year’s case have begun. Gifted & Talented coordinator Melissa Wimmer has taken new measures to ensure that the team has the resources to practice efficiently. These include professional folders and bags, scrimmages and a place to practice. The mock trial team has

With spring break coming up, escape to a tropical place, or at least feel like it, with an easy virgin daiquiri smoothie that will give you that Bahamas cruise feel. Place ingredients in a blender and purĂŠe until smooth. For an added vacation feel, adorn with tiny umbrellas and place in colored glasses. Serves two. t P[ BQQMF DSBOCFSSZ KVJDF t P[ PSBOHF KVJDF t P[ GSP[FO CMBDLCFSSJFT t P[ LJXJT

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Aladdin is an Arabic name that literally means “nobility of the faith.�

Scheduled for April 23-24 ...

Preparations begin for Aladdin “Aladdin,� a play adaptation of a story from “1001 Arabian Nights,� touring this spring, is directed by teacher Suzie Jones. “Aladdin� depicts the story of a homeless, young-man in the Middle East, who falls in love with the sultan’s daughter. In trying to woo her, he comes across a lamp with a genie inside who is indebted to grant its master three wishes. Throughout the plot, Aladdin faces conflict with power-hungry authorities as well as the truth. Jones plans on double-casting for this season’s play, meaning that two separate casts will perform in alternating shifts. Everyone from grade 9-12 was encouraged to try out March 1-2. With five places available and double-casting, 10 people were each assigned one or more parts. Jones plans to have the play tour throughout nearby elementary schools, including a few out of town as well. Ideally, she would like to have four shows outside

of the high school. Each cast will perform in the auditorium at 7 p.m., April 23 and 24. “I think it will be fun. It’s always interesting having children as an audience because they are so enthusiastic. I hope they will become fans of other things the high school has to offer,� said Jones. t"MFYJT ;XBOL B[ QFMMBEJVN!HNBJM DPN

I’M ON A BOAT. Seniors Lauren Cooper and Matt ‘Bubba’ Meyers perform during the coed routine at FortÊ’s spring show Feb. 27. The coed routine was built around a medley of sailor songs. The crowd pleasing dance was choreographed by captains junior Leah Engelbrecht and Cooper. “I really enjoyed dancing my last coed. It was a really cute idea, and it was a great note to end all of my years of FortĂŠ on. I had fun picking out the music, choreographing the routine, messing up on the last song, and even telling Bubba everything to do during the dance. The outfits were cute, too; the boys even liked their hats,â€? said Cooper. t1IPUP CZ $IFMTFB #ZFST

“Aladdin Cast� (Note: The play was double cast. Each cast will perform.) Domino: Micah Zeimetz, Jake Anderson Pico: Emily Gates, Tori Gensch Cordova: Lindsay Pothoven, Liz Core Dahlia: Kelly Anderson, Maggie Landon Zampano: Ranier Worstell, Luke Vande Haar Burgundo: Eric Moore, Adam Gromotka Assistant Directors: Jacob Martin, Megan Card Tech Director: Drew Senn Director: Suzi Jones

Van Dusseldorp places first in state writing contest “He glanced at the underside, somewhat hoping it had been inscribed with life’s only truths - perhaps the disparaging reality that all the worldly goals are simple, infantile, meaningless.� With such supple wording as above, senior Mark Van Dusseldorp created the short story “Variations of a Hospital Bed,� which captures the harrowing strain of grief between a father and son. Van Dusseldorp and freshman Mary Masek were both recognized for their excellence in expression and received first place in creative writing for their age group in the local Three Rivers Reading Council Creative Writing Contest. Before ever engaging in any writing, both students used their own individual processes to plan and execute their work. Sitting down at his typewriter in preparation, Van Dusseldorp starts with a single image that will ultimately define his story. “Basically when I go to write, an image comes to my mind, and everything just stems from this. Phrases start to coincide, and I try different forms and punctuation placement. For this contest though, I’m not sure what gave me the exact idea or what I thought of. I entered this piece as a novice writer, and I am not greatly impressed with it now, as I reread it. But, it signifies the advent of my writing endeavors, and what succeeds “Variations� will be much cleaner, and hopefully, a lot less contrived,� said Van Dusseldorp. Masek’s approach to her own work was more of a freestyle process. In the initial planning for her story, “The Magnificent Monk,� her approach was to find a general topic from her own life and create a story by expanding it with her own imagination.

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“I never write on my own, other then when I have to for school. When Mrs. Linn told us of the contest, I thought why not. I really had nothing to lose. The idea just kind of came to me, if that makes sense at all. I like to walk my dog, so I started the story out with a girl walking her dog, and then I thought it would be cool if she met a monk on the way. It just fell together,� said Masek. Since placing first in both of their designated age groups, their work was then submitted to the Iowa Reading Association Creative Writing Contest. Van Dusseldorp placed first in the statewide competition and will be honored with an award at the annual Iowa Reading Conference in April. Seeing the positive response their work has received, both students wish to continue submitting pieces and recommend others to do so, too. “Sometimes it is hard to get feedback on your work, whether it be from teachers or peers. A thing I like about a contest is you have a deadline, so it pushes you to complete your story or poem. It can be hard to self-motivate, and make yourself finish something. And, of course, it can further your skills,� said Van Dusseldorp. “Everyone should do this at least once, because even if you don’t like your writing, someone else might. If you see that others like your work, it gives the confidence to try it again,� said Masek. t.FHBO $BSE NDQFMMBEJVN!HNBJM DPN

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About $1 billion in athletic scholarships are awarded each year in the NCAA

Athletes pursue collegiate careers

Senior Brett Bogaard U.S. Naval Academy

Senior Matt Meyers Central College

Senior Richie Bales UNI

While many students play sports in high school for enjoyment or excercise, some see it as a possible collegiate activity or even as a possible career path. 4FOJPST +PSEBO :PVOHNBO .BUU .FZFST and Blaine Forsythe are planning on playing GPPUCBMM JO DPMMFHF :PVOHNBO XJMM CF HPJOH to Wayne State in Wayne, Neb. starting August 3rd. He was offered an athletic scholarship to play on the football team as left tackle. Meyers will attend Central College playing as a linebacker and majoring in exercise science. Forsythe also received an athletic scholarship from Augustana to play quarterback and corner. “I chose to play college football because I was good in high school, and it made the DPTU UP HP UP UIF TDIPPM MFTT w TBJE :PVOHNBO “I wasn’t ready to stop playing. I had four offers from other schools, but it came down to the coaches, athletics, and success of the program at Central,� said Meyers. 4FOJPS "+ "SSFOEFMM IBT NBEF JU UP TUBUF the past two years for wrestling, and will be heading to the University of Dubuque to

New stand fufills old plans

wrestle. While he isn’t interested in pursuing a career in the sport, wrestling will reduce the cost of tuition. Senior Brett Bogaard received a full ride scholarship to run track in college. Bogaard will start at the U.S. Naval Academy in August. There, he plans on running the 100-meters and 200-meters races. He has been running since seventh grade and decided to pursue running in college because of past success. Senior Richie Bales is undecided on which school he will go to, but will most likely be attending UNI. If Bales does well this track season, UNI is offering him a full ride scholarship. Although he will most likely be majoring in a medical field, such as premed, he feels that running will be beneficial for him. “I really like running and it makes college cheaper. UNI is a respectable program, and I would run anything from a 400 to the mile race,â€? said Bales. t5JĂŞBOZ $BSUFS UD QFMMBEJVN!HNBJM DPN

Senior Blaine Forsythe Agustana

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  New fixtures are a simple upgrade in home improvement. Outside the new gym, a new fixture of a different kind is being built, courtesy of the Pella Booster Club. When the new gym and weight room were added, the original plans included a built-in concession stand. To cut costs, the room for a concession stand was eliminated. The talk of building a permanent concession stand has been discussed for many years; recently, the Booster Club began construction. Through time the absence of a permanent location has caused hassle for those managing the concession stand. “It is a huge benefit to the workers in ease. In the past the people had to take everything out, set up and then put it all back. Now, once the concession stand is finished, everything will be able to be left in the stand and workers will only need to restock,â€? said assistant principal Eric Nelson. The new concession stand will also hold another purpose besides housing the food vending portion of concessions. Pella Dutch apparel, ‘Spirit Wear’ will have its own room in the new facility. “Our goal is to make Pella Spirit Wear available and affordable to all students, parents and fans of our school. Having a location to store and sell our goods will definitely make the Spirit Wear more accessible,â€? said Spirit Wear volunteer Amy Van Haaften. Construction of the new concession stand began Dec. 23. Doug Pfadenhauer and junior Alan Pfadenhauer offered to build the two- room addition and donate their labor. Costs will be paid by the Pella Booster Club and a grant from the Pella Rolscreen Foundation. The team hopes to have the stand finished by late March. Extensive planning was done by members of the Pella Booster Club and has been influential in the decision to have Dutch fronts on the two room addition. “Working on the concession stand has been a great experience because not only have I been able to help my school, but I’ve also been able to work alongside my dad,â€? said Alan. t+FTTJDB 4BMQPS KT QFMMBEJVN!HNBJM DPN

/BNF +VOJPS 4QFODFS #PFZJOL Position: Guard Background: Began playing PSHBOJ[FE CBTLFUCBMM JO UI grade Reaction: “We’ve had a successful season, and it’s fun to be a part of. We’ve grown a lot as a team; our humor really bonds us.�

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/BNF +VOJPS .BLFO[JF 7BOEFS .PMFO Position: Point guard #BDLHSPVOE #FHBO QMBZJOH PSHBOJ[FE basketball in fourth grade Reaction: “This year was a lot of fun, on and off the court. We all got along really well and had such a good balance to our team. It was sad that the season ended earlier than we wanted, but we made lots of memories.�

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Legos structures, ranging from junior Shaun Van Weelden’s “Lego Bricks in the Abstract� to eighth grader Tyler Kramer’s “Devastator� were entered in the Haiti fundraiser organized by kindergartner Titus Hopkins. Voting took place at Marion County Bank March 1-5. t1IPUPT CZ .JDIBFM (F

Kindergartner organizes Legos fundraiser for Haiti relief The earthquake in Haiti has brought out the best in many, from charity organizations, celebrities ... even kindergartners. Kindergartner Titus Hopkins may just be like any other child, but his unique fundraising effort to reach out and help others is what makes him so extraordinary. Hopkins set up a Lego building contest with the goal of donating all of its proceeds towards Many Hands for Haiti. Hopkins’ idea was sparked a church campaigns, Quest for Quarters. The campaign highlighted that kids could be provided a meal with just one quarter. Seeing the devastation of the earthquake and hearing about stories further influenced Hopkins. “We want to raise money because the kids are really poor, and some of their houses fell down. They need money so they can pay the workers to build their house, buy food and maybe a toy,� said Titus. Hopkins and his mother, Brystal, brainstormed to think of a way to help those desperately in need of assistance. They eventually settled

on the idea of a Lego competition which combines one of Hopkins’ favorite hobbies into a fundraiser. “I am so glad that, at such a young age, Titus understands the importance of caring for our neighbors, whether that is those in Pella or around the world. I am also glad he is able to use something he loves, Legos, to help others. It is important that he understand that you don’t have to have much, to give much. We have been getting some great response; people I have talked to seem excited for the opportunity to help others while having fun. I am proud of Titus and I want to do all I can to help him follow through with this,� said Brystal. Students became involved with the competition with some submitting their pieces for judging. Junior Shaun Van Weelden, aLegos fan, created his own sculpture almost 22 inches high. “I thought it would be a good chance to support Haiti, and I could show the public what I am up to. Because of the size limit, I wanted to do something smaller but just

Cancer causes family to grow closer ! Junior Brittanie Kochheiser faces all the same stresses and obligations of

every other student. However, she is presented with an extra daily battle that she and her mother, Angie, are dealing with. Angie has been suffering from small cell lung cancer for about 10 months. “All of this has brought our family a lot closer together. Now, I can talk to my family about anything. This has really made us take life more seriously. Since she was diagnosed, it’s been hard for me to be away from her. I worry a lot,� said Brittanie. Small cell lung cancer is a rapidly spreading type of cancer that can be treated with chemotherapy. Some victims can also be treated with surgery, and they often need radiation after the surgery takes place. The chemotherapy and radiation treatments only help to relieve symptoms though, because the disease is incurable. “My mom has had chemotherapy, a treatment of radiation on her brain, and a treatment of radiation on one of her lungs. Now that she’s in remission, she goes in for check-ups,� said Brittanie. Angie has also had a recent surgery to have her vocal chords closed because they were affected by her radiation treatments, but she is making some good progress on her recovery. “She’s got her voice back now; she still can’t yell yet, but it’s doing much better,� said Brittanie. Through the roller coaster ride of Angie’s treatments and living with cancer, her experiences have changed Angie and the Kochheiser family for the better. “My mom has become really religious through this experience and now she reads her Bible for about an hour every day. She and I have gotten really close through this experience; we’re practically best friends now. We also make sure to fit in more time for fun and family. Family is definitely number one now, even more than it was before. She’s also quit smoking and is now helping some family members quit,� said Brittanie. Angie also commented about the life changes that she has gone through and had to make because of her cancer. “I used to be really active and it slowed me down a lot. This really changed my outlook on life too because I realized life can be very short. You do a lot of soul searching when something like this happens,� said Angie. Brittanie’s friends have also noticed changes in her through this experience. “Brittanie spends more time with her mom so they’re a lot closer now, and her grades have improved too,� said junior Kelsey Vermeer. With all of the medical treatments Angie has received, the community has lent a hand with some fundraising support. During her earlier treatments, sponsored head shavings were done for $50 a head, and currently there is a

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1. Use paper money only for a month, while keeping all of your change in a separate piggy bank. At the end of the month, cash in your coins, and donate the money to your charity of choice. 2. Set up a collection jar at your school or place of work. Send the proceeds to a charity. 3. Are you skilled in a craft or hobby? Think of a homemade project you could sell to family and friends. Create order forms and give the proceeds to the charity. 4. Most high school students have an ample supply of high quality fashion hanging in their closets that have never been worn. Register with a consignment store, and have them sell your clothes. Donate your reimbursement to charity.

“Angie K. Cancer Benefit Fund.� There are also “Food & Funk� benefit jars in many restaurants within the community. “Every little thing really helps,� said Brittanie. Many people within the community have also brought items to the Kochheiser’s residence and have done special tasks for the family. “People in Pella have been great to me, it has been my friends, family, and people I don’t even know. People have donated money, they have cleared the snow from the driveway, someone has mowed the yard, and I have gone to pay my city bill before and I’ve been told that somebody has already paid it,� said Angie. Although times have been tough for the Kochheiser family, they still have many moments in life that gives them hope and joy. “We were really excited a couple weeks ago because my mom made it to her 41st birthday. She was also told a couple months ago that her hair wouldn’t grow back for at least six months to a year, and now it’s starting to grow in,� said Brittanie. t,FMTFZ 7BO 5BTFMM LW QFMMBEJVN!HNBJM DPN

7

as cool, which is why I went with my sculpture. I think it turned out good,� said Van Weelden. The ontest involved all age groups K-12. Creations were judged by public voting March 1-5, with each age bracket winner receiving a prize. The contest was hosted at Marion County Bank. Eighty-three entries were submitted; each an individual design presented by their artist. An outpouring of support has come from throughout the whole community as well. Apart from the money raised from the contestants, free-will donations had totaled nearly $700 during the first few days, and was expected to rise by the end of the week. “We are happy. It is for a great cause, especially because it’s a little kid with a large imagination to help Haiti. We are happy to support Jared and Stacy Nikkel with Many Hands for Haiti. It touches so many locals, this fundraiser means so much to our community,� said Marion County Bank representative Teresa Ulferts. t.JDIBFM (F (ge.pelladium@gmail.com)

Interested in lending a helping hand and making a difference through a charity of your choice? Consider these top 10 tips for raising money.

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5. Thanks to eBay and Craig’s List, you can pretty much sell anything on the internet. Create an account to sell your old books, clothes, and toys. Donate the profits to charity. 6. Create your own “Giving Circle� by writing letters to friends and family to fundraise with you for the worthy cause. 7. Are you a skilled baker? Get a few friends involved and throw a bake sale. 8. Get your church involved and ask if they can print a notice in the weekly bulletin explaining that people should see you if they would like to give donations to your charity. 9. Throw a walk-a-thon to get the town involved and ask people to sponsor you per mile you walk, run, or bike. 10. Go the Girl Scout route and go door to door explaining what your charity supports and ask for donations. t,FMTFZ 7BO 5BTFMM LW QFMMBEJVN!HNBJM DPN

Pella residents extend open hand, warm meals to less fortunate through Meals from Heartland Seventy-five dollars will buy dinner for a family of six at an average restaurant, 15 dollars will buy three sandwiches at Subway. But, in an impoverished country a family of six can be fed for a mere 15 cents. That 15 dollars spent at Subway could feed 600 people, a staggering statistic. Based out of Des Moines, Meals from the Heartland is a nonprofit organization that packages nutritious meals to feed povertystricken countries; it works with other organizations, churches and businesses to plan meal packaging events. In the weeks following the disastrous earthquake in Haiti, a number of Pella citizens have ardently contacted this organization about planning an event in town. Their efforts succeeded, Meals from the Heartland will be hosting a meal packaging event at the Vermeer Pavilion April 17. “Several people in town had the same idea at the very same time and so without knowing what each other was doing, a bunch of us inundated Meals from the Heartland with the

request to do an event in Pella. They were so overwhelmed by the number of requests from Pella that they agreed to work with us,� said Keith Yanner, a Central College professor of political science. Yanner, along with the Brian Naaden, Jim Zaffiro and Kevin Van Wyk, contacted the organization about bringing an event to Pella. “I think it is an honor for Pella that the organization would take a chance on us. We are a small town, and a lot of organizations would be skeptical that a small town could pull off something like this,� said Yanner. Volunteers are going to be essential to this event’s success, and there are many ways to help. One such way is to sign up for one, or more, two hour shifts the day of the event. Volunteers will be grouped into teams of 10-12 and will work together to package the meals, so gather a group of friends and sign up as soon as possible at www. iowatelecom.net/pmfth. “Rather than simply collecting funds for international relief groups,

we have decided to create a handson, people-to-people project that anyone can do, from age 5 to 95,� said Naaden, who is an employee at Iowa Telecom, a business that spearheaded the event. Another way one can help is by donating money to purchase the grains, food and materials for the meals; the goal is to raise enough money to pay for 600,000 meals. According to Meals from the Heartland.org, the packaged meals have been prepared by a nutritionist, and were designed to be accepted by different cultures around the world. The ingredients include rice, dried vegetables, textured soy and vitamins. The soy provides protein, while the vitamin tablet contributes micronutrients for an added health benefit. “Volunteers will actually be mixing and sealing dried food ingredients in an easy-to-ship form; each package, when mixed with water and cooked will feed six to ten people, for about 15 cents,� said Zaffiro, a professor of political science at Central College. Pella citizens are hoping the meals

packaged at the April 17 event will be sent to Pignon, Haiti, Pella’s sister city since 1989. “Haiti is the poorest country in the Western hemisphere. Peoples’ problems and basic needs, including food, were extremely great, even prior to the January 12 earthquake. They are now “life-or-death� stage on a daily basis and will remain so for many, many months. This longterm need has not gone unnoticed by Pella people, and many Pella area people and church groups have wellestablished working relationships with local people in Pignon,� said Naaden. Students who have volunteered for Meals from the Heartland in Des Moines are excited for the opportunity to help locally for a cause related directly to Pella. “I went with my youth group, and it was fun because we made it into a challenge to see what team could package the most meals. I’m so excited to volunteer at the Pella event,� said senior Madeline Mueller. t .PSHBO "OEFSTPO (mapelladium@gmail.com)

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9.(::+,-$.&/$(7 Living in America in this day and age leads us to realize that times have been better. The economy is in recession, our military is participating in two wars and unemployment rates are through the roof. Needless to say many, people have fallen on hard times and have been unable to help themselves. But, despite these crippling conditions, many people have found the time, resources and willpower to help others, regardless of their own, every day difficulties. Positive action by individuals are some of the most important concepts of the coming decade. The trying economic conditions we live in as Americans and the unprecedented devastation of the Haiti earthquake illustrates that without the good will and cooperation between unaffiliated strangers, little can be done to radically change negative conditions for the better. Acts of goodwill will undoubtably become one of the driving forces behind not only America’s rise to greatness, but the world’s as well. Good actions are not enough when only a few individuals are struggling to change the status quo. Human limitations make it impossible for anything truly great to be accomplished by the few. The efforts must evolve into a group effort adopted by the general public in order to succeed. Moreover, any such achievement by a group cannot last VOMFTT GVUVSF HFOFSBUJPOT BMTP UBLF VQ UIF DBVTF BOE XPSL GPS UIF CFOFÍU PG UIF NBOZ 5SVF DIBOHF IBT UP CF QSFTFSWFE BOE CVJMU VQPO PWFS NBOZ MJWFT GPS TPDJFUZ UP SFBQ UIF CFOFÍUT for all posterity. The Pelladium staff supports the efforts of individuals to make the world a better place. At the same time, we call for others to support these innovative few with their time and hands, creating a concerted effort for the future. Together, we can do great things, for with great power, comes great responsibility.

It’s Your Call!

What are your thoughts on Toyota recalls? “It’s good because it’s going to make cars more reliable.� -Junior Kodi Smith “I’ve always liked Toyotas. ... they’ve been one of those cars that could run forever. I think that like all auto manufacturers, this is just the first time Toyota has had one of those ‘Oh, crap.’ They’ve been slow to divulge information, and I think it will hurt their reputation. I’d still buy a Toyota anytime.� -History teacher Bryant Hancock “Don’t buy Toyota. Buy American. Help the American economy.� -Freshman Matt Nieuwsma “They should definitely try to fix it ... and should give refunds.� -Junior Ariel Colver t +PDFMZO 7BO %ZLF KWE QFMMBEJVN!HNBJM DPN )FJEJ (SJUUFST IH QFMMBEJVN!HNBJM DPN

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Ad offends feminists

106.5 million people gathered around the televisions in their living rooms on Feb. 7 to witness one of the most popular sporting events in the country: the Super Bowl. With an audience that included husbands and wives in struggling marriages, parents unable to handle troubled children, and teenagers coping with the hardships of HSPXJOH VQ 'PDVT PO UIF 'BNJMZ TBX ĂŤU to air an ad highlighting the importance of family and the importance of life. The commercial featured Pam Tebow, mother of Tim Tebow, a Heisman Trophywinning American all-star quarterback for the Florida Gators. Pam begins the 30-second commercial by saying, “I call him my miracle baby. He almost didn’t make it into this world. I can remember so many times when I almost lost him. It was so hard.â€? 5P ĂŤOE PVU UIF GVMM TUPSZ CFIJOE UIFTF words, viewers were directed to “www. focusonfamily.comâ€? where Bob and Pam Tebow told the story of Timmy’s humble beginnings. Early in her pregnancy, Pam went to a doctor, only to be told that the child she was carrying wasn’t a baby at all, but instead merely a mass of fetal tissue. She was advised to abort him immediately in order to save her own life. Despite this urging to get an abortion, Bob and Pam held fast to their beliefs and chose not to kill their son. What the doctor didn’t know, however, was that this “mass of fetal tissueâ€? was HPJOH UP CF UIF ĂŤSTU TPQIPNPSF JO IJTUPSZ UP XJO B )FJTNBO 5SPQIZ UIF ĂŤSTU DPMMFHF football player to both rush and pass for 20 touchdowns in a season, and lead his college team, the Florida Gators, to their second national championship in three years.Â

Even before the Tim Tebow ad aired, it was attacked by women’s groups, such as Women’s Media Center and NOW /BUJPOBM 0SHBOJ[BUJPO GPS 8PNFO Organizations such as these were outraged, labeling the commercial as “extraordinarily offensive and demeaning.â€? They also criticized the ad, after it aired, saying that the playful action of Tim tackling his mother “endorses domestic violenceâ€? and encourages “violence against women.â€? Hyped by some as being one of the most controversial ads in Super Bowl history, the tantrum thrown by women’s groups actually helped to fuel more interest in the commercial than Focus on the Family could have hoped for. An ad that failed to raise arguments from a single women’s group was the Snickers commercial featuring Betty White being tackled by football players. Ironically, this ad was voted the most-liked commercial of the night according to the “USA Todayâ€? Ad Meter. So the question is, what’s the difference between these two commercials? They were both done in a tasteful manner, and while the Tim Tebow ad was showered with criticism, the Betty White commercial remained untouched, even gaining praises from a highly-esteemed newspaper. While the actual ad told nothing of the intricate details of Tim’s story and didn’t even mention the word abortion, feminists across the country immediately raised arms in protest to the apparently “extraordinarily offensive and demeaningâ€? manner of an ad that simply has the theme “Celebrate Family, Celebrate Life.â€? What is so offensive and demeaning about this message certainly remains a mystery to many. t+PDFMZO 7BO %ZLF KWE QFMMBEJVN!HNBJM DPN

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Pelladium Staff Executive Editors: Andrea Huffman, Caroline Phillips, Andrew Sagers Page Editors/Reporters: Morgan Anderson, Megan Card, Liz Core, Michael Ge, Andrea Huffman, Nathan Kooker, Eric Moore, Caroline Phillips, Andrew Sagers, Addie Smith, Kelsey Van Tasell, Ranier Worstell Photographers: Ben Muller Cartoonists: Michael Ge, Eric Moore Reporters: Tiffany Carter, Heidi Gritters, Shenstone Huang, Jakub Martisovits, Madeline Meyer, Benji McElroy, Ben Muller, Taylor Rennich, Jessica Salpor, Maddy Scholten, Jocelyn Van Dyke, Shaun Van Weelden, Alexis Zwank Adviser: Ann Visser The Pelladium is a monthly tabloid produced by the high school journalism department to serve as an informative, educational and entertaining communications media and to provide an open GPSVN UP TUVEFOUT BOE SFBEFST t-FUUFST UP UIF &EJUPST BSF XFMDPNF BOE FODPVSBHFE ɨFTF MFUUFST NVTU CF TJHOFE BOE TIPVME JO OP XBZ CF MJCFMPVT JSSFTQPOTJCMF PS PCTDFOF -FUUFST NVTU IBWF WFSJÍFE facts and should deal with issues. The Pelladium reserves the right to edit grammatical errors, libelous content or length due to the space limitations. Letters may be brought to Room 201 or sent to 1FMMB $PNNVOJUZ )JHI 4DIPPM #PY 1FMMB *" tɨF 1FMMBEJVN XJMM TUSJWF UP EFMJWFS JOGPSNBUJPO JO B GBJS BOE USVUIGVM NBOOFS ɨF 1FMMBEJVN XJMM GVODUJPO JO BDDPSE XJUI BMM BQQMJDBCMF MBXT CPUI JO SFHBSE UP UIF SJHIUT BOE SFTUSJDUJPOT PG KPVSOBMJTN tɨF WJFXT FYQSFTTFE JO UIJT QVCMJDBUJPO BSF UIPTF PG UIF JOEJWJEVBM XSJUFS BOE OPU OFDFTTBSJMZ UIPTF PG UIF 1FMMB $PNNVOJUZ )JHI School Administration or the Pella Community Schools Board of Education. The Pelladium will make retractions in the event of errors made in the content of printed stories. Retractions will be QSJOUFE JO UIF JTTVF JNNFEJBUFMZ GPMMPXJOH UIF JTTVF DPOUBJOJOH UIF FSSPST tɨF 1FMMBEJVN JT B NFNCFS PG UIF *PXB )JHI 4DIPPM 1SFTT "TTPDJBUJPO

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When lacking a knife, it is possible to butter dinner rolls with the tail end of a fork or spoon

Liz Core (ec.pelladium@gmail.com)

Like a Parachute I had a deep conversation at a school sponsored event last night. We were sitting in the lunch room and there were dozens of people strolling around us, many of them smiling at each other and giving a brief “Hi! How are you?� to the people they’ve known for years but haven’t seen in months. Miley Cyrus’s “Party in the USA� was on the radio, which wasn’t the most pleasant backdrop for a heart-to-heart, but one can’t be too picky. Because we were sitting at a lunch table, I had that feeling I get every time I enter the school’s doors. You know, the instant, subconscious metamorphosis into the school version of yourself. Maybe I’m the only one who does this, but since I was in “School-Liz,� I wasn’t really expecting any meaningful dialogue to occur. Obviously, the corresponding person wasn’t aware of my transformation, because almost immediately after the preliminary catching-ups, they began diving into a much deeper realm of communication. This conversation made me realize how we can be friends with people for years without actually getting to know them. It’s even more interesting to me is how easy it is to cross that barrier. All one has to do is talk. Not just on-the-surface prattling that is really more akin to talking about one’s self as the other person thinks about his or herself and vice versa, but asking a genuine “how are you doing?� when you encounter each other. Opening up the door to true friendship shouldn’t be a difficult task but the majority of people can’t seem to find the key. One of my favorite quotes of all time comes from the book of Matthew (6:2223, The Message translation). It reads “Your eyes are windows into your body, if you open your eyes in worship and belief, your body will fill up with light; if you live squinty-eyed in greed and mistrust, your body will become a dank cellar. If you

pull the blinds on your eyes, what a dark life you will have!� I know that this is a public school, and quoting scripture in a community-wide newspaper isn’t a normal occurrence, but whether you are a believer or not really shouldn’t make a difference to whether these words can apply to your life. The symbolic process of “opening your eyes� can be literal or figurative. When I read these words for the first time, I thought of it as a suggestion that I take a look at my environment and begin to appreciate the earth and the world around me. Though I still believe that that translation is truthful and legitimate, I have recently been enlightened of a different take on the quotation. Due to my new appreciation of spoken communication and social health, I take it as not only just personally opening yourself up to the world around you, but also to the people. Communicating with one another in some form is like opening your eyes to that person, being willing to look at them clearly without “shutting your eyes� to their feelings, ideas and experiences. If you are unable to genuinely partake in the human responsibility of communicating because you are living “squinty eyed,� or seeing only how people respond to you and making assumptions that you are being judged, then that network from person to person can never be truly bridged. Certain parts of each person that just need to be shared. Everyone has thoughts they need to sort through and manage. The best way to do that is to let those thoughts out to another person. We are all in the same cramped, dirty and ill-navigated boat here, so look around at the people seated next to you who are feeling just as seasick as you are and ask them how they are feeling. Chances are, you’ll have similar experiences to share, and you’ll end up with a new experience and probably a new friend.

"#$%$&% ! Nathan Kooker (nk.pelladium@gmail.com)

Reading is Dangerous Do not be fooled by my muddled mane of hair and my barbaric demeanor: I, in fact, am not a caveman. Not many of us are anymore. The Neanderthal demographic has been drastically declining in high schools across the nation. I have evolved into a civilized lad who can do math and brush my teeth. However, every day noontime, I retrogress and adopt the primitive ways of a cavedweller. As I sit down for a meal, I don my leopard skin loincloth, and partake in one of the most unrefined actions of eating. I butter my dinner rolls with a fork. I’ve read the dining etiquette websites. They all suggest this operation is less than decent. With an elementary knowledge of silverware, it is clear to see the butter knife, not the fork, is the more appropriate tool for spreading. In comparing their anatomies, we see the fork can conveniently spear morsels of food, but its pronged design and low surface area render it useless for buttering. However, the butter knife, aptly named, has a wide blade for consistently smearing butter across a plane. It’s really a technological marvel, the butter knife, as its application transcends the mere buttering of bread. It can be used to open rolls and bagels, to slice apples and peel oranges, and to carve foodstuff into digestible tidbits. Forbes actually rates the knife as the most important tool in history, practically enabling the development of modern civilization. As a civilized man, I see fit for the butter knife to be a part of my lunchtime, yet it is not. I have searched every corner of the condiment table, but am awarded nothing more than a fork and spoon. The knife is not there, it never has been. I can construe only one reason why I would be deprived of such a fundamental eating tool at school: the district weapons policy. Allow me to share the passage directly

from the scripture of the student handbook: “The Board believes weapons and other dangerous objects in school district facilities cause material and substantial disruption to the school environment or present a threat to the health and safety of students, employees and visitors on the school district premises or property within the jurisdiction of the school district.� The butter knife, regardless of its benefit, has been given the misnomer of “weapon.� It has been blackened in reputation by its horrific cousins the switchblade, the meat cleaver, the bayonet and the machete, who serve much darker purposes in the name of the knife family. Because the butter knife is indeed a knife, it is presumed to “present a threat to the health and safety of students, employees and visitors.� But let’s be realistic. It is extremely hard to abuse a butter knife. They are short, dull, and cannot saw large enough holes to escape a detention room. Frankly, a fork would be just as practical for stabbing, as the four pronged utensil seems better fit for penetration and removal of flesh. What about Bunsen burners, staplers and scissors? Hundreds of items are hidden around this school that could be used for violence, but could never spread a patch of butter. As a high school student, I have acquired a legal state of maturity. I am mature enough to drive, mature enough to write checks, mature enough to have telephone interviews with state officials. It’s just a matter of months before I am mature enough to gamble and to vote. But, I am not mature enough to use a butter knife. This isn’t a petition. This isn’t a sermon. This isn’t even a legitimate column, sorry to inform you. This senseless, sarcastic ramble is a compilation of my hours of musing, of trying to make sense of a nearly baseless predicament. Butter knives are such trivial parts of life, yet I feel robbed and distrusted.

Administration severs Facebook relationships Reaction: Action A recent e-mail was sent from Superintendent Mark Wittmer to all the staff members in the district. Its subject: the limits of appropriate and professional internet communication between staff and students. In this, teachers were told that “friending�

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I cannot think of a better way to wake up on a Friday morning than to treat myself to a chocolate-smeared scone and a strawberry smoothie, a la Pella Perks, a weekly event hosted by the foods class. Led by Mrs. Van Norden, students have the opportunity to share their culinary creations with the student body. After *+$", An in-school food service hearing rave reviews of it time and time again, it provided by the Foods classes *+)',#Every friday morning was my turn to put Pella Perks to the test. *+)-),# In the foods hallway My first impression was a good one, thanks to OFBS UIF CBOE IBMM BOE TDJFODF the aroma of freshly baked goodies that hit me SPPNT

in the hallway where my order was taken. While waiting in line, I was presented with an array of scrumptious options, with everything from hazelnut coffee to sausage buns. Since I am an devout chocolate lover, I naturally picked the chocolate scone drizzled in warm fudge, accompanied by a strawberry smoothie. It. Was. Fantastic. My only complaint was that the chocolate scone was rich and a little ‘much’ for eight in the morning, so I saved some for an after-school treat. The smoothie also went above and beyond my expectations. It was fruity enough to not be a strawberry milkshake, but creamy enough that it wasn’t a slushy, and left me wanting to slurp up every drop. Another thing that impressed me was the attitudes of the servers. Mornings are renowned for grumpiness, but everybody was energetic and smiling. I could even hear laughter when I got my food from the kitchen window. My breakfast was made with TLC, and I could almost taste it. But what I loved, on top of everything else, were the thrifty prices. The most expensive item on the menu was three dollars, and my meal was a grand total of $4.50, which is a complete steal. The next time you have a minute or two to spare before school, scrape some change off the floor of your car and head down to Pella Perks. You won’t be disappointed. I guarantee it. t )FJEJ (SJUUFST IH QFMMBEJVN!HNBJM DPN

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*$"(+2#Jersey Shore

Down at the shore who knows what is going to go down? Whether you’re fist pumping at the DRESS UP. 3FDFOUMZ PQFOFE CSJEBM BOE QSPN TIPQ (PXOT TFMMT ESFTTFT GPS WJSUVBMMZ BOZ club or taking a fist to the face in a bar, it’s all in formal occasion. Styles range from short and fun cocktail dresses to billowing ball gowns. a day’s work at the Jersey Shore. After you’re done 'JOE JU BU 'SBOLMJO 4USFFU PO UIF TRVBSF t1IPUP CZ "EEJF 4NJUI selling t-shirts, that is. “Jersey Shoreâ€? follows eight twentysomething “guidosâ€? and “guidettesâ€? as they find a new way *+$", A reality show following to embarrass themselves each week of the summer the lives of 8 young, “Italianâ€?With prom quickly coming around the corner, JO 4FBTJEF )FJHIUT /FX +FSTFZ "MM JU UBLFT UP Americans I had one thing on my mind: finding the perfect be a guido is a stylin’ orange tan, some sick Ed *+)-), Find it on MTV. dress. My goal at hand, I set out trying on )BSEZ UFFT BOE FOPVHI IBJS HFM UP DPWFS B TNBMM *+.,#(PPE RVFTUJPO style after style in one store after another. Each Terrier. Oh, and don’t forget the muscles, because sequined gown looked the same, each store clerk guidettes love “juiceheads.â€? So, MTV has placed XBT CVCCMZ XJUI DPNNJTTJPO PO UIFJS NJOE BOE *+$",# Fine wedding and prom these brash young adults into a house together, and what it produces is pure enjoyment. I wondered where would I find my dress. attire The cast for “Jersey Shoreâ€? is amazing, nearly perfect. It might’ve topped “Rock of Love On the recommendation of my mom, I *+)-),#713 Franklin Street 2â€? in the best all-time reality show casts. The only blemish in “Jersey Shore’sâ€? cast was went to a fashion show held uptown at the new *+.,#Shop locally for your prom Angelina, who, fortunately, left in the third episode of the season. Luckily though, cast XFEEJOH BOE QSPN ESFTT TUPSF (PXOT 4BNQMFT dress this year! members like Mike “The Situation,â€? Jenni “JWowwâ€? and Nicole “Snookiâ€? more than make ranged from flashy to fancy to fashionable; they VQ GPS "OHFMJOB T BMM BSPVOE MBDL PG JOUFSFTUJOH XFMM BOZUIJOH )PX .57 XBT GPSUVOBUF had it all. The selection may not be as big as some enough to have someone audition for the show with “The Situationâ€? as their nickname, no department stores, but the fantastic service outweighed it all. I was helped by the assistant one will ever know. It’s safe to say if Taylor Swift’s nickname was “The Situationâ€? maybe manager, Whitney. She promptly asked what I was looking for, and the search began. Kanye wouldn’t have interrupted her and maybe she wouldn’t have embarrassed herself I tried on more dress styles than I was comfortable with, but it helped to make sure I BU UIF (SBNNZT ɨBU JT KVTU IPX QPXFSGVM B OJDLOBNF MJLF UIBU JT BOE XIFO ZPV QVU JU knew what I wanted. Even after about eight corset backs, Whitney was still willing to lace it side-by-side with Mike’s personality, you, arguably, get the best reality show character ever. up every time. She was always honest, quality appreciated when wearing a leopard print cut The cast members are required to work at a t-shirt shop during the day selling obnoxious out. She simply gave her opinion on what I looked best in, but there was no pressure to buy shirts. You know those tees that have less-than-clever sayings that you should never wear? the most expensive dress or what they liked. I decided on my dress, and it was ordered the Imagine a store full of those. Once night arrives, the cast will usually hit up a club and same day. Since my gown was going to be a different color, she got online and showed me get drunk out of their minds. Their “dancingâ€? is fist-pumping like maniacs, because you what it would be like in what I ordered. My favorite part was the personal service, Whitney have to “beat up that beat.â€? At the end of the day the cast have each other, kind of, and an even broke out her old prom pictures from Facebook. adorable duck phone to go home to. When my dress came three weeks later, I bolted from my house uptown to see it. With A simple five-out-of-five doesn’t give “Jersey Shoreâ€? justice. In fact, I was tempted to use UIF ESFTT PO XF EFCBUFE IBJS TUZMFT BOE KFXFMSZ (PXOT EPFT DBSSZ FBSSJOHT OFDLMBDFT the most stereotypical and unoriginal “Jersey Shoreâ€? rating of “five fist pumps out of five!â€? bracelets and shoes to accessorize your dress, and I took advantage of this. Luckily, I didn’t, and I just said that I was tempted. I would recommend “Jersey Shoreâ€? 0WFSBMM UIF FYQFSJFODF XBT GBOUBTUJD ĂŤWF TUBST * XPVME SFDPNNFOE (PXOT UP BOZPOF right alongside “The Lord of the Ringsâ€? and Beethoven, so definitely attempt to take in a shopping for a prom or bridal dress. few episodes. t"EEJF 4NJUI BT QFMMBEJVN!HNBJM DPN

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Farmville currently has over 83.7 million active players on Facebook

Facebook is blocked at the school to undoubtedly prevent fun during school time. While blocking out those potential 45 minutes of creeping, they are also blocking out a potential 45 minutes of pure education. Wait, what? Yeah, Facebook is offering you training in a future career. Once you’re done glancing over your news feed for drama and maybe going through all 1,000 of someone’s pictures, you’re dangerously close to having to find something else to do that isn’t Facebook. That’s just ridiculous. So, you’ve got to find something new on Facebook to do. Maybe give some cheeky Social Interview answers? That only takes a couple minutes, so it is really only a temporary solution. What about Mafia Wars? Quite a number of middle schoolers were raving about it, and they usually have the same interests, so it should work. The first thing you see is that you’ve luckily stumbled upon the “Bangkok� version of Mafia Wars. Bangkok was high on your “places to visit� list you made last year, lucky you. After sitting through the half hour load time and then proceeding to devoting your whole night to build the most legit mafia, you find that Mafia Wars isn’t realistic enough and is just another temporary solution. Enter desperation mode; God forbid you go crawling back to your long-ignored Myspace page. Wait, a new notification. “Do you want to be my neighbor on Farmville?� A new neighbor to bond with and a new Facebook app? Duh! Your love of farming had been a mainstay in your life since watching “Charlotte’s Web� on Disney Channel, so

"#$%&'()*+ !!

this was your chance to become a farmer‌or at least kind of a farmer. Within minutes of clicking, you have a cute farm laid out, and you have all of your crops in the virtual soil. You opted for strawberries over eggplants because the strawberries take only four hours to grow whereas the eggplants take an impossibly long two days. No real farmer would ever wait more than four hours for a crop to grow. Since corn is so popular here, it must only take a couple of hours to grow in real life; otherwise they wouldn’t waste their time. In addition to the short growing time, the strawberries will sell for 10 coins! Imagine what you could buy with ten coins if you were a real farmer. You find your next source of big money (or coins) to be brushing

your cats. Who needs cows and chickens when you have cats? Who knew brushing your cat can yield as much as 90 coins? This has to be the number-one, best-kept secret in farming, brushing cats. You’re now on your way to hours of essentially service learning all while learning the tricks to your future trade. By blocking Facebook, the school is taking away a chance to engluf a student in the realistic world of farming for an entire study hall. Farmville is giving all students a chance to learn well-hidden secrets, like brushing cats can become a legitimate profession when mixed with strawberry IBSWFTUJOH 7BMVBCMF MFBSOJOH PQQPSUVOJUJFT BSF UBLFO BXBZ t#FOKJ .D&MSPZ CNF QFMMBEJVN!HNBJM DPN

Brushing kittens proves to be a primary source of income in Farmville!

Your cows can double as sources of nutritious milk and as sources of friendship in Farmville!

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We know that with the economic recession looking up, many of you are back on the market for employment. The first step to obtaining a job is writing an impressive rĂŠsumĂŠ. To ease the stress of compiling every one of your accomplishments all in a one to two page document, just follow these easy steps and your rĂŠsumĂŠ will surely stick out from the crowd.

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1. First of all, don’t ever lie on your rÊsumÊ. Ever. It can get you into some serious trouble. Of course, using the power of word manipulation can do some serious improvement on your rÊsumÊ.

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2. +PJO PCTDVSF PSHBOJ[BUJPOT MJLF UIF IPSUJDVMUVSF DMVC PS UIF *OUFSOBUJPOBM 4PDJFUZ PG the Brethren of Mustaches. Things people have never heard of are always impressive. 3 .Speak any different languages? Employers are always looking for people who are bilingual. If you don’t know any other languages, you can make up your own language or tune into Zoom and brush up on ubba-dubbi.

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4. )JHIMJHIU ZPVS BCJMJUZ UP UZQF XPSET B NJOVUF +VTU EPO U TQFDJGZ UIBU JU T POMZ when you are texting. 5.Use colored paper or ink on your final draft. Also, if you’re feeling really crazy, spruce it up with some glitter, puff paints, feathers, or tassels. Use your old school bedazzler to add even more personality.

Dear Dating Gurus, Ever since my Disney days, I have dreamed of going to prom with my Prince Charming. Now that the big event is just around the river bend, I am getting worried that I might not have a date! I’ve flirted, flounced, and have basically exhausted all of your tips, but still no takers worth taking. How can I ensure a magical night with Prince Charming before the clock strikes 12? -Waiting for My Fairy God-Mother Dear WFMFGM, This is a common dilemma for eligible bachelorettes, so we assure you that you are not alone. Often times, behind the froggy exterior, boys can be sweet, funny, and yes, sometimes even sensitive. All it takes is an eye for potential, lots of hard work and some serious scheming. The first trick is to look within. What are you looking for in a prom date? Since prom is all about having fun, find a guy who will keep you laughing the whole night through. Common interests are also a crucial aspect of a perfect prom partner. The night will call for much conversation, so be sure that he knows about more than how to punt a football. Even if your date isn’t Prince Charming, being a fabulous dancer is must. So make sure he can do the waltz since grinding isn’t an option. Follow these tips for a happily ever after. But, if all else fails, kiss a frog (a.k.a. desperate freshman), and you will be sure to have a prom date.

6 "If you’re a male, try spritzing a little Dolce and Gabbana “The One� cologne if your potential employer is female.

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7. Enclose money in the envelope. It’s not a bribe; it’s just a gift thanking them for taking their precious time to read about all of your many accomplishments. t-J[ $PSF FD QFMMBEJVN!HNBJM DPN t .PSHBO "OEFSTPO NB QFMMBEJVN!HNBJM DPN

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Winter teams spell

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