College Application of a Schadenfreude

[featured story]

Activities List:

1) Author of “Experiencing Schadenfreude” 52 wks/yr, 2 hrs/wk

a) Wrote best-selling biography of experiences, featured on NYT

2) President of Schadenfreude Club 40 wks/yr, 3 hrs/wk

a) Planned discussions about member’s experiences, hosted poem workshops to express our Schadenfreude sides

3) CEO of Schadenfreudes Against Homelessness 40 wks/yr, 2 hrs/wk

a) Started non-profit to unite Schadenfreude against homelessness, hosted can food drives and talked to homeless people to learn more about their experiences

4) Theater 12 wks/yr, 10 hrs/wk

a) Played Friar Lawrence in a performance of “Romeo and Juliet”

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Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, please share your story.

When I was in elementary school, my friend Matthew tripped over a sidewalk ledge, breaking his nose. As blood flowed from his nose, a grin formed on my mouth. How could a person be so silly as to not look at where they were going? Before I could realize the repercussions of my actions, I let out uncontrollable laughter. Despite the incident, Matthew would still be my friend. I would still offer him chips at lunch, even though I only offered the ones that had fallen on the ground. I would still allow him to play on my Nintendo Switch, but only the hardest levels where I could watch him miserably fail. It had seemed that with every interaction with Matthew I sought to bask in his suffering.

When I was in middle school, I became an avid reader and discovered the world of dystopian novels. The gruesome and depressing nature of the novels attracted me. As I relished each page, I rooted for the oppressive, totalitarian governments. I wanted the citizens to feel pain. I wanted to see their anguish. It was too bad that I soon discovered that with every Young Adult novel, there’s always a happy ending, even in a dystopian novel. I ended up going to my favorite English teacher, Mrs. Schultz, to ask for book recommendations. With vehement passion, I described what I felt was missing in every book I had read. I sought more gruesome torture scenes and painful betrayals. I wanted to read more about death and less about joy. Mrs. Schultz certainly had a unique look on her face as she listened to my complaints. When she stood up to go to her class bookshelf to find a book, she knocked a coffee mug from her desk. As the mug fell towards the ground in almost slow motion, I could feel the excitement growing within me. The mug shattered on impact, spilling shards across the floor. Mrs. Schultz swore in frustration while I bit my tongue to hold back laughter. Mrs. Schultz scrambled for the broom by the bookshelf, running over towards the back of the classroom. As she grabbed on the broom in a rush, her motion created a force that brought the bookshelf tumbling down. The books splattered onto the ground. As I walked over to the mess, atop the haphazard pile lay a dictionary, its ruffled pages opening at an entry which caught my eye. Schadenfreude. It was then when I first discovered this word. I found that schadenfreude was the perfect word to describe the unusual pleasure I had in other people’s sufferings. I felt incredibly happy, knowing that there was a term for people like me and that I was definitely not the only one.

When I was in high school, I tried to hide the fact that I was a schadenfreude, but there were so many close calls. I had plenty of friends. I genuinely loved them, but it would not stop the tendencies for me to feel pleasure in their sufferings. One time my friend Brandon failed his Calculus test. He had started studying weeks ago, pouring overpractice material and attending study sessions. Yet, he still failed. I tried my best to comfort him, but I found his situation terribly ironic. How could one study so hard, but still do so poorly? For the next test, I offered to send him more practice material and tutor him. However, I secretly hoped he would fail again and I could once again experience the pleasure of his ironic situation. All of these examples would receive suspicious looks from my friends and peers. However, at the end of my junior year, I decided to announce to the world my true identity: experiencing schadenfreude was a part of my identity and I would be proud of it.

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Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate—and us—get to know you better. Dear Future Roommate,

I have a confession. I am a schadenfreude. It’s a fancy way of saying that if you happen to sleep past your alarm on the day of your final, leave your key in the dorm, or trip over the stairs on the way to the laundry room, I will laugh. I will laugh not because I don’t care about you. I will laugh because the thought of your irresponsibility, forgetfulness, and inability to account for your surroundings excites me. It makes my heart tingle with joy and mouth water for more. Seeing your suffering gives me this unusual pleasure that I cannot explain on paper. But don’t worry, I’ll still always be there for you. For every time you are feeling down, I’ll be there. For every time you are stressed, I’ll be there for you. I will make sure to witness every single time you experience suffering. That’s a promise.

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The process of discovery best advances when people from various backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives come together. How do you see yourself contributing to the diversity of Zoom University’s community?

Because I am a schadenfreude, I am confident I will be able to contribute to the diversity of Zoom University. As a schadenfreude, I will be an invaluable member of both academic and social settings. In the classroom, I will make sure to pay attention to when my fellow classmates screw up on exams and assignments. This will motivate my fellow classmates to work harder and push their intellectual boundaries. In the social settings, while most will party at fraternities and join random clubs, I will contribute to the diversity of Zoom University by starting the Schadenfreude club. By doing so, I will allow people from all backgrounds to meet and talk about their unique experiences as being a Schadenfreude.

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Tell us about something that is meaningful to you and why.

Within every friend group, there is a schadenfreude. When a friend suffers, they pretend to emphasize, but secretly, they feel pleasure. When a friend is joyful, they pretend to be happy for the friend, but in reality, their heart becomes full of jealousy. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, it’s because you are the schadenfreude.

For too long people have suppressed their schadenfreude sides. Therefore, it is very important to me to speak up for schadenfreude and tell them that it is okay to embrace their unique identity. Through my nonprofit, I encourage people to harness their schadenfreude sides for change!