I Messenger by Cheryl Smith

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October 19, 2018

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OCTOBER 19, 2018

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OCTOBER 19, 2018

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MY TRUTH

By Cheryl Smith

Publisher

Love on our youth

Too often I have heard folks quoting scripture about the way children are raised. A most commonly used scripture is: Proverbs 22:6 King James Version (KJV): “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Folks act like there’s a “good” child who never ever gets into trouble and wouldn’t do anything their parents would be mad, embarrassed or disappointed to hear about. Things happen though. So maybe we should insert “intentionally.” Growing up I would hear my mother telling her friends that she taught us right from wrong but she wouldn’t be so quick to say what her children would or wouldn’t do when she is not around. Sure, she said, she would vouch for some things, but life had taught her to expect the unexpected. Growing up I overheard grown-ups talking about “PKs”, you know, “Preacher’s Kids,” because a child growing up in a home led by a spiritual leader could not possibly sin. Boy, I tell you sometimes we

can be so heavenly bound that we are no earthly good. I heard that also. When I was at an event recently where there was an abundance of young people who were old enough to call me “Mom,” and even “Grandma;“ it was interesting to hear the comments from some of my peers as they frowned at the clothing, or lack thereof; hairstyles; exposed bodies; vulgar language; and lack of respect. Now I did see more flesh than I recalled back in the day but I also saw that for some reason all of the students who knew I, or their parents, or someone who mattered, would be around were all dressed in attire that the harshest critic would approve of. Well, I checked a young man who cussed. I said, “watch your mouth!” To his credit he was very respectful and smiled at me sheepishly. He knew he was out of order and he didn’t take it further. I think his parents wouldn’t have liked his behavior but they would have been proud of his response. There were many young folks who would have been running

and hiding, just like I and others did when we were young, gifted and black. Just because they know does not mean they won’t push the envelope. They really are diamonds in the rough and that is what we must continue to see our youth as instead of tearing them down to the least common denominator. Which brings me to my truth. Unlike some of my friends, I didn’t talk with my mom like we were buddies. We didn’t smoke together, have conversations laced with profanity or have discussions where I talked about my dealings with boys. Also, unlike many of my friends, when I graduated from high school, I was still a virgin. Today, I tell young ladies that they aren’t ready and neither are the young boys they claim to love. I encourage them to wait because one day they will meet someone and the experience they have will be one that if they haven’t waited, they will wish they had, for that person. “You don’t know your own body yet so how can you really know what happens when the mental, physical, and spiritual all come

I Messenger together,” I ask. That ain’t happening as a teenager, and for some, not until decades later. But peer pressure is dangerous. Sure I had friends who encouraged me to “try it.” Some of the conversations were hilarious as I was told, “if you don’t use it then it will close up on you,” or “nobody is going to want anyone without any experience.” I would laugh. I had home training and I knew I was not ready for the responsibility or consequences. I wanted to fall in love first, for longer than a week. I also never told them I was scared. So I ended up with a lot of boyfriends because they would like me but once they saw they weren’t “getting

any,” it was over. My freshman year, there was one guy, Dean B. He had so many girls after him it was crazy. He took a liking to me. But after that first kiss, I think he just said it wasn’t worth his time. But Dean didn’t leave my side. I became his little sister and he protected me. After that kiss he never made any advances my way and he let others know to stand down. Now Dean was someone you didn’t mess with. It was probably his bad boy persona that made him so attractive to the girls, who were oh so willing to do what I couldn’t and wouldn’t. I am so thankful to Dean and over the years there have been others who

OCTOBER 19, 2018

have valued me as a person and didn’t step over the line, taking advantage of what I called “friendship.” Richard was like that during college years at FAMU. From the day he saw his “homegirl” on campus; he and another Jersey guy, Willie Antonio (Tony) were my protectors, telling me when they felt I was out of order. They also taught me that when you want to know about a guy, don’t ask a girl, ask another guy. That is if you want the truth! We all are going to have those around who lead us astray. Then there will be those who are uplifting and allow us to enjoy our youth without acting like we don’t have hometraining.

It’s so important, however to realize that, even if we see someone doing wrong, it isn’t necessarily because they don’t know better. And we can’t have amnesia because we all had our moments of acting out. We must help our youth see the beauty within, instead of tearing them down. It really does take a village and while some frightening things are going on with some of our youth, our faith must be stronger than any fears. We have to step up and take back our communities. We must save our children. If they haven’t had hometraining, we must step in, we could save them from themselves. Are you up for this?

OCTOBER 19, 2018

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OCTOBER 19, 2018

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OCTOBER 19, 2018

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I’m about to have a Kavanaugh I’m mad. So mad that I can spit. Throw stuff. Holla. Make some noise. What is a righteous woman to do? I’m about to throw me a Kavanaugh. by Dr. Julianne Malveaux Brett Kavanaugh may have made it to the Supreme of disgrace. As a noun, it’s straightCourt, but he also needs to make it to ignominy. In other words, forward. It’s a synonym for hot, crazy, he needs to go down in disgrace, not intemperate, loud, woman-interruptbecause he was accused of sexual ing fit. Noun. He pulled a Kavanaassault, not because Senate Demo- ugh on us. That’s what we say when crats never got his work product they a fool white man loses it, gains some asked for from the Bush Administra- redness, inhales barrels of water, and tion, not because there is some evi- simply makes a spectacle of himself. dence that he perjured himself when As an example, didn’t Senator Lindhe testified to the Senate during his sey Graham (R-SC) pull a Kavanaugh hearing. Kavanaugh needs to go when he had an outburst during the down in disgrace because he is an Senate hearings? Kavanaugh’s outburst set a stanintemperate, rude, sexist who mandard for outrageousness. When womaged to maneuver himself onto the Supreme Court because his sponsor, en of color raise their voice and lose the genital-grabbing President of the their tempers, think Serena Williams at the US Open, they are vilified with United States, stood by him. Few have seen such a disgraceful hostile and racist cartoons coming performance as Kavanaugh’s 45-min- from all over the world. I’ve yet to see ute diatribe at the Senate Judiciary a Kavanaugh cartoon that has lava Committee. More than two thousand coming out of his head or through his law professors said his demeanor was ears. I say lava, but given the line of so objectionable that he was unqual- questioning, it might well be another ified for the court. The former dean of liquid, maybe beer. Since Kavanaugh the Yale Law School called his pres- has set a standard for outrageousence on the court “a national disaster.” ness, let’s memorialize it by making He was confirmed by the narrowest him that kind of a noun. He could also be a verb. He is just of margins and is poised to move the court to the right, imperiling all kinds Kavenaughing for attention, we of human rights, including voting might say to the perpetrator of an rights, a woman’s right to choose, and outburst. Lots of Kavanaughing going on on Capitol Hill. Let’s just call it other rights. For his outburst and his ignorance, as it is. Not a fit. Not a tantrum. Not a he deserves to go down in history, loss of control. But a Kavanaugh. A particular aspect of the Kavananot as a Supreme Court Justice but ugh, or Kavanaughing, is interrupting, as a singular example of white male rage and privilege. So, let’s make Ka- especially interrupting women. So, vanaugh a noun, verb, and adjective the use of the Kavanaugh noun, verb,

The Last Word

adjective is easily adaptable to the workplace, given the frequency with which men enjoy interrupting women. Please, don’t Kavanaugh me today, I’d like to make my point, a woman might say. Or we’ve had enough Kavanaughing for today, let’s conform to codes of civility. Can’t you see how invoking the name of the great interrupter puts everything in perspective? To Kavanaugh is to interrupt, to disrespect, to come back with a tepid apology, and to be assured that you will get away with it. Then there is an adjective here. An adjective is descriptive, and Kavanaugh is sure-nuff a descriptive. That was a Kavanaugh fool. She threw a Kavanaugh fit. I won’t have a Kavanaugh worker in my shop. We can’t pay for Kavanaugh water consumption, we’re on a budget. There was so much in that Kavanaugh performance to link to a noun, verb, pronoun that I’m sure my Kavanaugh fit hardly scratches the surface. The 51 Senators who confirmed Brett Kavanaugh to be a Justice of the Supreme Court represent a minority (about 45 percent) of the population. That alone is ground for considering amendments to the Constitution. More importantly, while we in the majority can’t immediately impeach, but we can immediately induct him into the Hall of Shame by making him a noun, verb, adverb (and for that matter a pronoun and an exclamation point). I am about to go somewhere, holler and scream at a job interview, and just have myself a nice comfy Kavanaugh!

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OCTOBER 19, 2018

Rita White to be honored by Continental Societies, Inc. From Staff Reports In June at the 62nd Conclave of the Continental Societies, Inc. in Hampton, VA. Rita C. White was honored for 25 years of service to children and youth. The Dallas Chapter Associate Members are hosting a luncheon in her honor, Saturday, Oct. 20 , 12:30pm at the Grand Lux Restaurant at the Galleria. According to Doncella Milton, “Rita has won every award locally, regionally and national award Continental can bestow on its members.” Members say she “epitomizes the caliber of individuals in character, in community standing, in moral aptitude and attitude.” Mrs. White has held positions of leadership at all three levels of the organization during her extended history as a Continental member, helping to guide the chapter through many years of successful programs and activities. Because of her experiences, Rita always stands as a guiding force in steering Continentals, during those times when

the organization needed munity through her travsound leadership. els throughout the many Her dedication to Con- sectors of the community. tinental Societies, Inc. In doing so, she can recand the Dallas commu- ognize needs and service nity has been recognized areas that are not being by many community or- served or could be better ganizations lending ser- served by an organization vices that fit the mission such as Continental Sociof Continental Societies, eties, Incorporated. Inc. She has demonstratMrs. White makes a ed her habit of commitresearchment to ing existContinening plans tal Socior proeties, Inc. grams through that are her leadavailable ership to assist roles. in meetContiing the nental Ofneeds of Rita C. White fices held: the chilChapter d r e n Vice President 1996- that have been identi1999, Chapter President fied, and if no program is 1999-2003, Chapter Fi- available, she gets to work nancial Secretary 2003- creating a program. 2005, Chapter Treasurer She is creative and de2007- 2010, Fundraising tailed in planning, idenChair 2004 and 2010, Re- tifying those members gional Parliamentarian of the chapter as well as 1999-2001, Regional Ser- community leaders with geant at Arms 2001-2003, the prerequisite skills Vice Regional Director necessary to make the 2003-2007, Regional Di- program a success prior rector 2007-2009, Na- to bringing the program tional Conclave Chair to the floor of the chapter. 2003-2007 and National Mrs. White has develHistorian 2005-2007. oped or assisted with the She continually evalu- development of numerates the needs in the com- ous programs.

The Parks Thomas Award is a very special award because it is the highest award that can be bestowed upon a member of the Continental Societies, Inc. This prestigious award is presented to an outstanding Continental who has demonstrated commitment to the Continental cause on the National and local levels. This individual must also exemplify the highest standards of character. This award is made in even years. Only one award is given for the entire membership. Nominations for this award may be made by chapters. This award was instituted by Past National President Edna M. Calhoun. Her dedication to Continental Societies, Inc. has been evident since becoming a member in 1992. There has not been a year since her qualification for a leadership role in the chapter that she has not assumed the same from the presidency to a committee chair to a program development role, said members.

OCTOBER 19, 2018

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OCTOBER 19, 2018

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OCTOBER 19, 2018

When Minnie's and P.S. by Pat Smith collide FASHION MEETS PASSION!!!

Come shop with us, THIS THURSDAY 5:30 - 7:30PM! Check out some of our NEW Fall Collection pieces and purchase with a purpose!!! RSVP NOW Can't wait until then? Check out some of our new arrivals now at psbypatsmith.com Be Bold. Be Free. Be You!

OCTOBER 19, 2018

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Rave reviews for First Man Ryan Gosling plays Neil Armstrong in the new biopic called First Man. The movie is based on the book by American historian James R. Hansen and directed by Oscar-winner Damien Chazelle who directed last year's La La Land. The teaming again of Chazelle and Gosling makes for an Oscar-caliber film that is head and shoulders above any previous movie about the NASA space program. First Man chronicles the Apollo space program in the sixties, however, unlike a movie like Ron Howard's Apollo 13, this movie doesn't gloss over the failures of the Apollo space program. For example, it's a little-known fact that three Apollo astronauts were burned alive in a space capsule during a routine NASA mission. First Man also shows the personal side of Armstrong. He was a man with family issues and who enjoyed BBQs and having a few laughs over beers with the boys. It just so happens that "the boys" were all also Apollo astronauts.

Hollywood is everywhere!

The human touch with the movie's characters is the most enjoyable part of the film; along with the incredible CGI space effects that make you feel like you are right there in space with the astronauts. Director Chazelle uses camera angles and sound that make you rattle and shake like you were inside the cockpit. The movie has its ups and downs with the storyline but the film itself stays consistently good and entertaining. Both Gosling and Chazelle should receive Oscar nominations for best actor and best director. First Man is one of the best movies I've seen this year. See it in IMAX if you can to get the full effect. First Man has a run time of 2 hours and 21 minutes and is rated PG-13. It's a movie that shows one of mankind's biggest accomplishments, but it's also the story of the man, with all of his failures and frailties, who achieved it. On my "Hollywood Popcorn Scale" this movie rates a JUMBO.

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OCTOBER 19, 2018

QUIT PLAYIN’ By Vincent L. Hall

WE WON’T FORGET! Passionate, Prepared, PERSISTENT!

Let me begin by clearing up a few things about my friend, who is the best of the outstanding 13 candidates vying for the Dallas City Council District Four seat that was recently vacated. Dawn Blair is a member of the Blair family, and that’s where the confusion begins. Let me end it. There are at least three very notable Blair families steeped in the history of Black Dallas. Some of you will recall the former City Council member and State Representative icon, Fred Blair. The same Fred Blair owned a real estate company that bore his name. Dawn ain’t related. You cannot be a history minor and not know that there was another Blair whose newspapers have covered almost every church in Dallas for the past 40 years or more. The late publisher, Negro League baller and iconic historian who founded the Elite News was William “Bill” Blair. And although Dawn knows the paper’s publisher, Darryl Blair, and the family; she ain’t related to that Blair family either. The Blair, Meshack, Starks and White families that Dawn does belong to are also a legend in this city. They were thriving entrepreneurs in South Dallas and the Black community for decades. In fact, it was traveling with her grandmother, Mabel White and her Aunt Alberta Blair that ignited a passion in her that has finally come to the surface. Dawn’s great-great-great grandmother Emma Starks, was among the six founders of the Dallas’ historic New Hope Baptist Church. She has learned

the value of public service by pretext and example. District Four of the Dallas City Council needs a new Day. Its diverse residents deserve a new Dawning. And there is a candidate who has the passion, preparation and the persistence of character who can take this under-

the areas that need the most attention in District Four. She can also address the pothole problem that is prevalent in District Four and all of Dallas. To her credit, Dawn has won the full and unfettered endorsement of Congresswoman Eddie Bernice Johnson. Rep. Johnson did not weigh in for Dawn on the strength of the Blair, White and Meshack names alone. She knows Dawn as the type of person who has the background and the beliefs that leadership requires. As she drives daily through the heart of the district that she has lived in for the past 15 years, she has become well accustomed to the errors Candidate Dawn Blair with Congresswoman Eddie Eddie Bernice Johnson and the opportunities served district to the next level. I want that are so prevalent in the district. The you to meet someone who is ready to drive from the Cedar Crest area to the go to work….Today! Glen Oaks neighborhood serves as a Dawn was born and raised in South stark reminder of all that must be done. Dallas, a product of Phyllis Wheatley All council members have to create and St. Anthony Elementary Schools. bonds with the others. However, there She graduated from DISD’s Business are few instances where a candidate Management High and later from Bish- at any level can go in with the level of op College, which once stood among experience and contact that Dawn can the tallest of the HBCU campuses. provide. As I proudly admitted previously, I rarely get into Council District racthere are a lot of very good candidates es, because there are just so few that I in this race, but Dawn Blair, a real estate can, but don’t let this opportunity pass professional, is the only candidate with you. I believe what Dawn says. 20-plus years management experience She says that she has the Passion, at 1500 Marilla. She has spent over two Preparedness and Persistence that can decades in the Economic Development, bring about a “New Day.” Housing and Real Estate departments. I’m with her!! These departments just happen to be Vincent L. Hall is an author, activist and award-winning journalist.

OCTOBER 19, 2018

Celebration at New Mount Zion Baptist Church

The New Mount Zion Baptist Church family and community will be celebrating the 4th anniversary for Dr. Tommy Lee Brown and First Lady Ruth Brown,

Sunday, October 21, 2018 during the 7:30am and 10:30 am services. The anniversary theme is â&#x20AC;&#x153;A Shepherd Called to Serveâ&#x20AC;? 1 Peter 5: 2, 4.

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OCTOBER 19, 2018

The President and our Changing Climate University who was awarded the 2018 Nobel Prize for Economic Sciences. The policies of the Trump administration are not constructive and are behind By Congresswoman Eddie Bernice Johnson scientific facts, Professor Nordhaus said. “We are to curbing the impact that gambling with the future of The Trump administration a warming climate was havour planet,” he said. needs to seriously consider ing on communities, counThe president made a what the majority of Amer- tries, agriculture and peoserious misican scientists and others ple. take in June of throughout the world are The highly-ac2017when he saying about changes in claimed United withdrew our our global climate, and the Nations report nation from the adverse effects that human states that the Paris Climate and industrial behavior is number of poor Agreement having on our planet. people in the which had If we continue to do noth- world will grow been endorsed ing there will be severe because of inby the Obama consequences to our envi- creased food administration. ronment, our food supply, shortages, that The accords, coastal communities and to there will be Brett Kavanaugh signed by nearour health, scientists say. more wildfires ly every nation Last summer, when a bru- and that we will on the face of tally harsh storm caused fa- witness the death of the the earth, united them to tal flooding in South Texas world’s coral reefs within face the effects of climate and most recently when the next twenty-five years change by agreeing to lowhistoric storms devastat- if leaders and governments er the amount of emissions ed parts of Florida, North do not move quickly. each country placed into Carolina, South Carolina Even 40 years of research the atmosphere. and Virginia, the presi- by a professor who was reWhile withdrawing from dent remained silent in the cently awarded face of hard scientific data the Nobel Prize that demonstrates a di- for science have rect relationship between failed to get the life-threatening weather administration patterns and our govern- to act. “We are ment’s refusal to address actually gothe realities of climate ing backwards change. in the United Again, there was silence States with the just two weeks ago when disastrous polica United Nations science es of the Trump report stated that placing administration,” a price on carbon dioxide said Professor emissions, a leading cause William D. Norfor adverse changes in the dhaus, an econworld’s climate, was crucial omist at Yale

From the Capitol

the agreement, President Trump said that the treaty was “unfair” to the United States. The president was incorrect. The treaty was more than fair to our country. The president’s real problem with the accord is that he had promised supporters in coal-producing states that he would fight for their jobs and their industry, while knowing that our nation’s economy was moving away from coal. The facts speak for themselves. If we continue to do nothing we will have a catastrophe on our hands and we will only have ourselves to blame.

Hopefully, the administration will soon recognize the pressing realities. The alternative is more violent storms, more deaths and the destruction of property. Certainly, the American people deserve more than that.

He’s Here

OCTOBER 19, 2018

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EPITOMES AWARDS

Epitome Magazine held The Epitomes Award show recently. “Still Standing” was the theme for the seventh annual Epitomes Red Carpet and Awards Celebration, held at the Irving Convention Center of Las Colinas, Saturday, October 6, 2018. The Epitomes recognized luminaries in public service, entertainment, business, corporate citizenship and granted three girls scholarships from That Girl is S.M.A.R.T. on thefantastic music-filled night. All award winners were announced,

along with honoring five significant pillars in the community: Mrs. Katrina Hunter – Woman of Excellence Award, Lynne Haze – Media Mogul Award, and with a special presentation to the recipients of the Living Dimension Award District Attorney, Faith Johnson, Kamiah Haynes-Hawthorne Community Servanthood Award - Mrs. Effie Dennison, Christian Athlete of the Year Award, Tim Brown and a special contribution to Dr. Cynthia Mickens Ross.

OCTOBER 19, 2018 DBDT reflects on historic times and cherished moments Dallas Black Dance Theatre (DBDT) presents dynamic and powerful works in its Director’s Choice series November 2-4, 2018, at the Dee and Charles Wyly Theatre in the Dallas Arts District. S p o n sored by Texas Instruments, the evening reflects national historic times and personal cherished moments illustrated through dance. The Dallas premiere of Bodies as Site of Faith and Protest by choreographer Tommie-Waheed Evans draws on fierce physical language through dance set to iconic speech excerpts by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. The dance was originally created as a thesis at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia, PA. “I reshaped it when I worked with the dancers at Dallas Black Dance Theatre,” Evans explained. “We worked on how to transcribe King’s ‘We Shall Overcome’ speech with body movements.” The performance takes on added theatrics as dancers sing, with veteran DBDT dancer Claude Alexander, III, leading a cappella

during the performance. Bruce Wood Dance Artistic Director Joy Bollinger’s This Time makes its world premiere during the series. Bollinger was inspired to create the work as a reflection of the fleeting nature of time in her relationships w i t h her children and grandmother; and the constant desire to steal moments and capture memories. The dance is set to classical contemporary music with sweeping sounds of the piano and strings. The strength and stamina of DBDT dancers are showcased as they push through the layers of Dallas Arts District Executive Director Lily Cabatu Weiss’ Thrown for a Loop. It explores how we cope with moments of extreme loss through the support and solace of others. Weiss draws inspiration from the physically charged contemporary classical score of John Mackey. The iconic work Absolute Rule is a collaborative duet choreographed by Elisa Monte and David Brown of New York City. The dance is described by the New York Times as, “...a virtuosic duet with entangled acrobatics that cleverly describes a male-female relationship.”

OCTOBER 19, 2018

Junior High School Reunion Dallas Junior High (Middle) Schools (Class of 1974 from high school) gathered together for a reunion

Sarah Zumwalt Boude Storey J. N. Ervin Oliver Wendell Holmes Pearl C. Anderson

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OCTOBER 19, 2018

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OCTOBER 19, 2018

Valder Beebe Show THAT CELEBRITY INTERVIEW:

Tanya Acker, Esq.

Life is incredibly surprising! Having Tanya Acker on my list of celebrities to interview was such a delight. She is all that I had been briefed about; smart, talented, engaged and honest. I adored her bold response when I asked… … VBS: What are your thoughts on the recent media storm about the new Supreme Court Justice, Brett Kavanagh? TA: I do not feel it appropriate for me to respond. Equally impressive, she was at the top of her class at Yale Law School, she work with the Supreme Court and President Clinton as an avid fighter for women and minorities. A civil litigator, Tanya Acker, lends her legal mind on the fifth season of the Emmy nominated CBS Television Distribution’s syndicated court show “Hot Bench,” created by Judge Judy. HOT BENCH adds a new twist to the court genre, with the first-ever three judge panel (Tanya Acker, Patricia DiMango and Michael Corriero), taking viewers inside the courtroom and into their chambers as they deliberate, making it one of the most popular daytime programs---delivering more than 3.2 million daily viewers. Always engaging and stir-

ring on camera, Acker is an experienced expert commentator and has been featured as an expert guest on Good Morning America, Entertainment Tonight, Wendy Williams, The Talk, The Insider, CNN Reports, Anderson Cooper 360, Extra, Your World with Neil Cavuto, and now, a favorite guest on The Valder Beebe Show. Acker received her B.A. degree at Howard University before attending Yale Law. After

Tanya Acker graduating from Yale, Acker served as a judicial law clerk to the Honorable Dorothy Wright Nelson on the Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals. In private practice, Acker’s legal work spanned a broad variety of matters from civil litigation involving public and private entities. More Award-Winning Valder Beebe Show THAT CELEBRITY INTERVIEW ValderBeebeShow. com, Youtube.com/valderbeebeshow, 411RadioNetwork.com, SoundCloud.com/valderbeebeshow, PChatman Network.com and VBS affiliate broadcasters.

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OCTOBER 19, 2018

A Niece with Sticky Fingers

Ask ALMA Dear Alma, About six months ago, my sister moved back to our hometown with her daughter, who is 10 years old. They don’t live that far from me, its walking distance. I recently noticed when my niece comes by to visit without her mother, after she leaves, a few of my things have been missing. Never any money, mainly jewelry. I’ve never see her steal from me, but I know it has to be her. I’m hoping she isn’t a kleptomaniac and I’m not sure how to bring this to my sister’s attention. I know she misses her Dad, since they moved back and maybe she’s doing this to get attention. How would you suggest I handle this problem? Carla Hey now Carla, Once a thief, always a thief, or so that’s what they say. Yea, right, we both know that ain’t true. This email takes me back to the 1970s. I’m gonna pause a minute to tell the truth and shame the devil. Since we’re all over 50, I’m naming names

– lean in close, while I whisper. I remember once Neasy, Andrea and I, got caught stealing earrings from Zayre Department Store. OMGoodness, I was scared to death! All three of us were probably 11 or 12 at the time. The thought of going to jail terrified me. Let’s just say, I never did that again, LOL. You know it’s no secret, I have a soft spot when it comes to our kids. Don’t run and tell her

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think it’s important to talk to her and use the word “borrow.” Politely ask her to return your items. Discuss how stealing is wrong and how it invades a person’s privacy. Let her know how that choice of action will not allow you or anyone else to trust her. I’m asking you to take this route because she’s only 10 years old. There’s more to this behavior than meets the eye –

I recently noticed when my niece comes by to visit without her mother, after she leaves, a few of my things have been missing. mama just yet. Take the time to talk to her directly. You’re her Auntie, you got this. Your sister, I’m sure would be appalled and so angry, she’d probably punish her for life. So here’s what I’d suggest, the next time she’s over, fix a light meal and step to her directly. Place a necklace around her neck and say something like this, “Hey potato chip, have you been pilfering through my things? If you wanna borrow some of my jewelry, just ask.” I

she’s clearly calling out for help. I agree with you, that she may be missing her dad. Either way, this is your teachable moment. Become the support she needs right now. It will build an unbreakable bond the two of you will share for a lifetime. If she dives off the deep end, tell her you’ll have no choice but to mention this to her mother. I’m keeping my fingers crossed all’s well that ends well. Be sure to let me know what happens. I

Alma Gill’s newsroom experience spans more than 25 years, including various roles at USA Today, Newsday and the Washington Post. Email questions to: alwaysaskalma@gmail.com. Follow her on Facebook at “Ask Alma” and twitter @almaaskalma.

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