The importance of trust and communication

The importance of trust and communication

Dr Victoria Kelleher

Head of Secondary School

Communication can both solve, and cause problems. It is the way we represent ourselves, make requests, share how we feel about the world and others. I believe it is one of the most important intangible assets we have as human beings.

Communication in an educational setting has never been more important. Several research studies recognise the important role that a strong positive bond, between homes and schools, plays in the development and education of our children. The theories put forward have been supported and reaffirmed; they clearly show how good relationships and communications, between school and home, can lead to academic achievement for students. Furthermore, research on effective schools - those where students are learning and achieving - consistently shows these schools also have strong and positive school-home relationships.

I firmly believe that parent and community engagement in education depends on strong, trusting relationships.

Part of developing such relationships is building a bridge between home and school cultures, recognising the importance of getting to know family and community needs and strengths, and focusing closely on communication in developing a strong school culture based on trust. This is one of my key goals to help develop here at Penrhos College.

Educational communities cannot endure without trust - trust between teachers and administrators, among teachers, and between parents and staff. Trust is not easily defined, but it involves an individual’s willingness to be vulnerable to another person based on the confidence that the person is reliable, honest, and open.

Trust makes people feel confident and eager to be part of something, with a shared purpose and a willingness to depend on each other.

The key to building a true sense of trust throughout our community is by maintaining our inextricable human connection. That connection is something we can make possible through our relationships.

There are several reasons for developing and establishing a partnership between school, family and community. However, in the context of Secondary School, the reason for this relationship is even more important. Consider the proverb “It takes a whole village to raise a child” – it clearly and simply underlines our entire community’s responsibility in helping raise happy, strong, empowered young women. It serves as a reminder to us all that education is a partnership of trusting relationships. We must work together to achieve the very best for our girls.

Adolescence is a period where our children develop their identities through exploration of their environment and in the context of the influences of significant others, both of which are particularly important during identity formation in adolescence. A healthy identity is developed when an adolescent feels comfortable with who they are and with their role in society. As our children navigate the social, emotional and cognitive challenges of adolescence, we no longer need a whole village - sometimes we need a metropolis! We must be of service to each other and engage together as members of this amazing Penrhos community in support of our girls.

We know, through adolescent neuroscience, that the delayed development of the prefrontal cortex and the frontal lobe can impact the regulation of emotions and decision making.

Teenage responses are driven with more gut reactions, which is why they tend to offer more impulsive behavioural responses. These are typically the ‘slamming door’ responses with the bonus ‘you’re ruining my life’ responses thrown in. The cerebellum is the part of the brain that changes the most during teenage years, and this doesn’t mature until we are in our early twenties. The cerebellum is often linked to the coordination of our cognitive and thinking process. The ability to smooth out all the different intellectual processes to navigate the complicated social life of a teenager and get through intact, is also the function of the cerebellum.

When my three children went through their teenage years, I often found myself asking the same question “when did my once sweet child morph into a lazy, moody, argumentative one?”. Throughout my youngest daughter’s teenage years, I was repeatedly glad of the deep pile carpet that slowed down the slamming door. Unfortunately, it did little to muffle her cries of how I was, yet again, ruining her life. “This is her frontal lobe speaking, not her” became a daily mantra of mine!

While I was going through this interesting stage of my daughter’s adolescence, I came across the book “Stumbling on Happiness” by psychologist Daniel Gilbert. In it, Gilbert describes what scientists have discovered about the uniquely human ability to imagine a future and predict what will make us happy. About two thirds of the way through, I came across a graph which should be labelled ‘the most terrifying graph for all parents of teenagers!’ The graph is made up of four independent studies which show a precipitous drop of marital satisfaction, which is closely aligned with broader happiness; this peaks during the teenage years and does not rise again until the first child goes off to college. I truly hope the participants of Study 3 had their village to support them!

Each one of us can agree that our lives are dramatically better because of our children; but, in the maelstrom of the teenage years, knowing we are not alone is a great comfort! We encourage our children to speak out, take chances and innovate; we must create cultures where they feel safe and supported when they do. Developing and maintaining trust takes frequent interactions to demonstrate that students’ best interests are at our very heart; open, honest, and respectful communication, and an understanding and acceptance of communication differences.

Trust does not require our students to change who they are; it requires them to be who they are.

This first semester has gone so quickly. Penrhos is an exciting place to work. The joy and enthusiasm our students bring to the College every day is remarkable. A day in the life of Penrhos is filled with learning, music, drama, dance, sport, service and so much more. Penrhos is a special community where a sense of trust and connection prevails, and our girls learn so much from the many opportunities provided.

My introduction to Penrhos College has been overwhelmingly supportive and positive. Thank you to each person who has made my first semester here such a memorable and enjoyable one. I feel privileged to have been selected as the Head of Secondary School, and I look forward with excitement to what the future might hold, and the strong and trusting relationships we will continue to build.