Hey Roomie

By Xiluva Maphophe

Covid-19 isn’t gone, but the lockdown restrictions are, and 2023 is the first year since 2020 that the university year can commence as it normally would. This arguably means a lot more to TuksRes students than anyone else in the university diaspora, as they were most hard hit by the old restrictions – yes, having to be in your room by 9pm sharp even though the national curfew at the time was midnight is surely justification enough to say that they were the hardest hit. Luckily this is no longer the case, and TuksRes students can go back to fully enjoying unmasked socials, unrestricted orientation week, and coming back in the early hours of the morning without fear of written warnings. One thing that the dropping of restrictions has brought back, particularly for TuksRes first years, is room sharing. Although there is the option of asking to be put in a room with a friend, the bulk of freshers get assigned a complete stranger with whom to share a room. This is not exclusive to TuksRes as many other student accommodations do the same. The prospect of making a possible new friend can be exciting for some, but the sharing of your personal space for the next 10 months with someone who might not enjoy The Office as much as you do can also be a daunting thought. Here are a few tips on how to survive the year with a roomie. Remember though, there is no one size fits all, so these tips are only to facilitate the beginning of a good roommate situation.

Go out on a date

No, not a literal romantic date. A get-to-know each other date. Sit together for your first meal at the dining hall, or go out and get an ice cream together. Maybe stay in your shared room and pick a movie to watch together. The most important part here is to actively set out time to get to know your roommate. Small talk isn’t always a bad thing; even the seemingly insignificant things can give a lot of context as to who someone is. After all, you’re about to spend the next 10 or so months together, you might as well start early in ironing out the nitty gritty details.

Set your boundaries early

You might have a no shoes rule on your side of the room, and that’s okay. Just be sure to communicate it to your roommate. Some other examples of boundaries include not eating from each other’s refrigerators without asking first, or wearing headphones when listening to music. Some of these might sound obvious and you may not see the need to let your roommate know about them, however rather be safe than sorry. We might take some “norms” for granted and get thoroughly surprised when someone doesn’t live by them, hence the importance of communicating them. It’s all about keeping the peace, and setting boundaries early means knowing what to and what not to expect of your roommate.

Channel your inner Sheldon Cooper

You don’t have to go as extreme as dictating what time you will all use the bathroom, however, making a roommate agreement might not be the worst thing. Sit with your roomie and discuss any rules you believe will help keep the peace. Something like “no bringing friends before 7am” or “we shall alternate turns on washing dishes”. Don’t be afraid to type up a copy and stick it up somewhere for both of you to see; this way you will always remember what you agreed upon and you can remain accountable for yourself. This goes hand in hand with rule no.2, and your boundaries can be listed on your roommate agreement, too.

Be respectful, be considerate

In university, you meet all kinds of new people, different people. Although some reses and accommodations try to match you with someone that they think is compatible with you, it doesn’t always mean that you will get a carbon copy of yourself. Your roommate might be of a different faith than you, they could have different eating habits, and they might even have opposing morals.

However, preserving the sanctity of your roommateship means respecting these differences as well as respecting each other’s space. If she really doesn’t want shoes on her side, then don’t wear them when you walk over. Remember, respect does fall both ways. Yes, it would be rude of him to call your plate of mogodu gross, but maybe you could consider opening the windows before you warm it up, knowing how potent its aroma can be. It’s the little things!

You don’t have to be besties

Sometimes, these random pairings turn into the greatest friendships, but its not so to say that all of them were meant to turn out this way. It’s not unusual to have nothing in common with your roommate. Sometimes, a simple acknowledgement of their presence just once a day is enough. As long as you both give each other the space you need, a roommate pairing can last the whole 10 months without much conflict. Don’t force what isn’t there, but respect what is. There are plenty of other ways to make friends in university, so hang in there even if your roommate isn’t the Monica to your Rachel. Perfect doesn’t exist

The sooner you realize that your roommate is just another human being, the calmer sharing a room will be. Things won’t be as they are on TV. Don’t bend over backwards trying to create this perfect situation that you’ve imagined in your head – it will end in tears. Rather remain as authentic as possible, and things will naturally start flowing into place.

These tips are sounding less and less like ways to survive having a roommate, and more like ways to survive a new relationship. In all honesty, its one and the same thing, as a roommate is a type of relationship. In fact, its probably the only type of relationship that has the potential to last in Hatfield. Having a roommate doesn’t have to be scary as long as communication is involved and respect is paid. Erica Lomberg, a former House Khutso resident once told the touching story of how her first year roommate (and now one of her closest friends) used to take the kettle and boil water outside of the bedroom so that the noise didn’t wake Erica up in the mornings. You don’t have to go all out like that, but it can be as simple as not doing to others what you wouldn’t want done to you. That being said, an entire generation of students have started and some even completed their degrees without ever having shared a room for more than 6 weeks (yes, 2020 first years, that’s all you), so maybe don’t go asking them for advice on how to survive having a roomie!