In the club 007 by The Perfect Pop Co-op

Issue 007 March 2014

Welcome

TO ‘IN THE CLUB’, THE OFFICIAL TUESDAY CLUB INTERACTIVE MAGAZINE - BROUGHT TO YOU IN CONJUNCTION WITH THE PERFECT POP CO-OP AND OUR FRIENDS

Spring is sprung.... ...and The Tuesday Club spring into action on March 6th with their first gig of the year! Sorry, I wanted to write that ever since the January edition. I’ve had my fun. Go find out more about said gig here https://www.facebook.com/events/1418199095090456/?ref_dashboard_filter=upcoming If you can’t come to that, then find time to come to another one. We’re fully out of hibernation now and raring to go. Of course, this doesn’t mean we’ve been doing nothing - like I said a few issues ago, we’ve got loads of new songs that will be peppering our sets now. Spot them if you can. There are points to collect - get 100 and get a badge*. In the meantime - there’s a whole magazine of fun here. Take 10-15 minutes out of your hectic life and have a read.

J-Rod. Guitarist Stage Left, and typo. *up to us what adds up to 100 points. Chances are you’ll never collect them all. Some expire too. Did anyone ever complete one of those Michelin I Spy books and send it off? If you did, let us know what happened. Did you get anything for your troubles? Or did it summon C’thulu?

8 TRACK MARCH. . . WHAT THE TUESDAY CLUB ARE CURRENTLY STICKING IN THEIR EARDRUMS!

Andreas Vanderbraindrain: Innocent Vicars - Anti-Matter http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1JTeGknqiA The Minx: Danko Jones – I’m Alive And On Fire https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQoFFeXKkuA Wasabi Penis: Sad But Superstitious - Stevie Wonder with a bit more ooomph! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyvxHL5hLfE J-Rod: The Men That Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing - Victoria’s Secret https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjPapWX-Sk4 Rogerio Marauder: Other Star People - Drip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rPxkYwx_1k Glabrous Fabulous: GBH - Catch 23 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHivi_39274 The Beautiful Wolf: Ennio Morricone - Adonai http://youtu.be/cOXb36a0QG8 Tittybar Telski: Kingswood - Yeah go www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwkDhYwfmhY Thanks to: Design @8ecreative, Tiggy Pop. Editor: Reggie Mental. Photography: Neil Stephenson, & Various Words: @simonj68, Denise Parsons, The Minx, Faye Don’tlikeitupum, Stuart Pidboy, Don Tellumpike, Don T. Panic, Sister Dolly, AVBD, Beautiful Wolf, J-Rod, Wasabi Penis, Daxy, Kahn.

Upcoming gigs!

Contents

efit gig Thurs March 6 - Save Earl’s Court ben London The Tuesday Club Sat March 15 - Electrowerkz, Angel, Boot, St.Albans 8 Track 2-3 Weds March 19 - The What’s going on in our musical world Weds April 2 - West Herts Radio April 5 - Paper Dress Vintage, London Sat (Club) Foot tappers 4 (New Glamour Single Launch Party) AVBD, J-Rod and The Beautiful Wolf Albans trawl their record collections Sat April 26 - Trestle Arts Base, St. e 13/14 - You Bloom Festival, Dublin Jun t /Sa Fri New Glamour Launch Advert 5 Sat July 12 - Farmers Boy, St.Albans Who’s in the club? 6-7 Sat Sept 27 - Cornucopia Festival 2014, Burton Constable With Jack from Damn Vandals Sat Nov 1 - Farmers Boy, St.Albans Da Minx 8 Sat November 8 - Ant-Lib, London The Chanteuse Speaks! Sat Dec 6 - Farmers Boy, St.Albans Cover star:

Lies, Damn Lies and Guitars 9 Guitar tips with Daxy

The Parson’s Knows

10-11

Denise, gives us all the news from Trestle Arts base.

My Dinner with Andy

J-Rod, gets into AVBD’s head!

Spring Clean

What the band would...

Hairy Chesterfield

@simonj68

Unsalted Popcorn 15 Film reviews and the like from our latest recruit Kahn Johnson

Wasabi’s Wonders & The Eye 16 Caperage, hilarity and fly on the wall movie footage

DON’T MISS: New Gl amour - Single launch - Paper Dress Vintage, Saturday 5th April details o n page 3

facebook.com/thisisthetuesdayclub @thetuesdayclub1 AVBD - @Vnderbraindrain The Minx - @TCTheMinx R. Marauder - @YTDS Dave Worm - @Roddamiser J-Rod - @JRod_TC www.youtube.com/thisisthetuesdayclub thisisthetuesdayclub.co.uk info@thisisthetuesdayclub.co.uk pinterest.com/thetuesdayclub thetuesdayclub.tmstor.es

B U L C Foot tappers

‘COS the Platters still matter.. .

Dear Club fans, welcome to AVBD and The Beautiful Wolf’s monthly round up of the new, the old, the signed, the unsigned and the inspirational, from our very own musical old curiosity shop, where we pick and podcast 10( ish) tracks that turn us on... with a little help from J-Rod! Here’s a selection of the featured tracks, but you’ll have to listen to find out more :-)

This month’s featured track from ‘See You Next Tuesday’, is - our new single ‘New Glamour’. This is a re-recorded version of the track that was originally featured on our debut - See the opposite advert for more details, including our very special ‘launch Party!’ http://thetuesdayclub.tmstor.es The Time and Space Machine - Threshold We’ve included a TASM track for the second month running, as last month we ‘teased’ you by saying we would be featuring its creator the excellent Richard Norris in our In the Club section this month. Unfortunately we were oversubscribed for this month’s issue so you are now lucky enough to hear another track from 2011’s amazing ‘Taste The Lazar’ album, along with the cast iron 1000% promise that Richard will be In the Club in our April edition! http://youtu.be/D9NM8QJAC1o The Normals - Almost Ready taken from 2013’s fabulous Jon Savage compilation ‘Punk 45 Kill the Hippies, Kill Yourself’.

According to Mr.Youtube - this is the sole 45 of the greatest New Orleans band the Normals. http://youtu.be/caU492eiz9w For more info on this album, here’s a great link, thanks to Richard Pilkington http://goo.gl/dWn5hf Nirvana - Tourettes - Taken from last years - In Utero 20th Anniversary album (which AVBD bought on both vinyl and CD boxset!)... included as an illustrative piece to go alongside J-Rod’s - My Dinner with Andy interview that you can read elsewhere in this very mag. Primal, yet still poppy with a fantastic riff and just 1.35 long! Here you can listen to surviving members Krist Novoselic and Dave Grohl talking about this seminal album http://youtu.be/gb64l_OiRPM Sweet Transvesite - The Original Motion Picture Soundtrack - The Rocky Horror Picture Show When you couple Steve Honest’s quote with the actuality of a Tuesday Club gig, you

realise how hard it will be to better it! It don’t come much camper than this,does it Mr.Vanderbraindrain? http://youtu.be/bc80tFJpTuo Next up the other half of ‘the quote’ in the shape of Roxy Music - Trash may not be the band’s best known or a track from their early 70’s peak, but it sure is an interesting one., not least for featuring a soon to be (Adam and The) Ant (s)Gary Tibbs on bass and it’s a subtle dig at the latest ‘fad’ New Wave http://youtu.be/HZr5HpNm2TU We hope you enjoy this month’s podcast, don’t forget you can subscribe to them and listen again at: http://goo.gl/7TDDwR

ore To find out m d about these an n our other tracks o d show downloa ast... your FREE podc

click

here

Watch the video here: http://youtu.be/QqxjD27zYHE

In the club with

Damn Vandals

s l a d n a V n m a D JACK -

h our naged to grab an interview wit ma ’ve we as ed cit ex r he rat This month we are with (them are also about to share a stage we o wh , als nd Va mn Da tes an Jack, PR stablema details). We pinned down frontm for ow bel e (se nth mo s thi er) on top, ooe crayons and got this; armed him with a pen and som

BOOM! ht? lig a ise al re e W . pid parently silly and stu 6) Your new album is ap on’, so called ‘Rocket Out of Lond now that the plot to liberate rocket? ere are you going on your wh in oo Z on nd Lo the penguins of s, thi On a special occasion like order highlight the demolition of We forgot to put in the n it’s time to resurrect the Dam Earl’s Court Exhibition Centre coordinates and n tio na sti de Vandaliser – a cocktail made was, in hindsight, inappropriate d the blast off button se es pr st ju from whatever can be found and ill-conceived. and upwards is s rd wa on … in Chris the drummer’s Mum’s but there again, we a, ide the d an Up st wi ‘T , gle sin 4) Your new drinks cabinet. Last time it t in to flames and rs bu t igh inds us of our favourite m m re le’ ng Ta What’s your was rum, vodka, whiskey, sloe lolly the Tangle Twister. tered into a billion at sc be favourite lolly? gin, fast gin and a shot of somewhere just outside s ce pie ly lol the of t ou Have been neat Ribena. Let the good h reminds me, hic W . 25 M the the r, ve we ho game for a while, times roll … t the car fixed … ge t us m . ies or em m nd fo Fab does hold u ter in a g yo only the s wa it If you could be any charac n, 7) ai 2) What was the last thin ag e er Th uld it be? so good you m, what film and who wo fil heard/watched that was I t tha top the t it? bobbly stuff at had to tell someone abou Alvin in any of those y. as E e str lu ck la the l – ne really loved ‘Toast Of London’ on Chan g films he made kin ea br nd ou gr up e ad m t strawberry bit tha 4. Matt Berry should be arters was qu ee e H thr . er nd oth gla En the of ng Ki d ne crow always a kind of penance cracks me up … t letting the top bit last no r fo als nd Va n m Da 3) So with a name like is life … so it ch Su What’s r. y! ge ht lon ug na y all re be t us m you done? the peskiest thing you’ve goes… e ar ds I’m pretty sure the Fe , what d an rd Damn Vandals was a cake wo If y 5) er ev y m g rin ito mon cake would it be? l fu re ca be st be thought, so would have to have a t I s al nd Va n here. I guess Dam base, gelignite ge on sp x te m Se t tha have learnt the hard way d a stick of dynamite an ng ici n ee tw t there’s a fine line be poking out the top – anyone go

g in the 1) OK firstly, we are sittin rview, and cyber pub doing this inte u want to it’s our round. What do yo drink?

with those cheeky chipmunks. Boy those guys can sing. 8) You are creating a Damn Vandals time capsule, what 4 items do you put in it?

A can of Stella to represent our thirst, a Snickers for hunger, a ray of sunshine for the soul and a whoopee cushion. The last item is included because whoopee cushions are objects of ecstatic mirth and endless hilarity – it would be a great shame if they were lost to humankind. 9) You are now In The Club, but what club do you actually wish it was?

And can you please draw us a pretty picture …

This is a pretty picture of me Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Club and Zorro the pug. I’ve got – have always fancied an old a Fab lolly, he’s got a Damn fashioned streak across centre Vandaliser cocktail. A highly court during Championship point. explosive DV cake is being thrown at us. 10)

What question haven’t we asked you that you wish we had?

Am just glad you didn’t ask any current affairs questions. I live in a cave in order to remain uncorrupted by modern media hysteria and advertising thought pollution. The only news that gets to me comes from glancing over the shoulders of the people reading newspapers on the tube … so any Q regarding the Scottish referendum or the like would have rendered me speechless.

And give us any links and gigs coming up you want us to plug …

We’ll be on the same bill as the mighty Tuesday Club on Thurs 6 March at the Troubadour in London – a benefit gig in support of the Save Earl’s Court Campaign … looking forward to that! Then we’ve our album launch show at The Dublin Castle in Camden Town on Thurs 10 April. Plus, pleasure is just a click away at any of these virtual destinations:

www.damnvandals.co.uk www.facebook.com/damnvandals www.youtube.com/damnvandals www.soundcloud.com/damn-vandals http://damnvandalsstuff.bigcartel.co m/ http://www.bandapp.com/damnvand als

us guys, Thanks for having DVs xxxx love Jack and the

DA Minx It’s not always easy to know who you are talking to at Tuesday Club gig. Looking for the cowbell

ComparetheMinki.com ... Don’t get minxed up! Monday (Monday) Have spent most Monday reading twits speaking about Winter Olympics in Sochi. Cannot understand why this funny …

down mountain. Remind me of winter of childhood on Caucasian mountain. Perhaps I could have been Olympic champion – after all Russia already have 4 gold medals, 15 medal in total. (not mention Germany in lead - не говоря уже о).

Thursday (Thursday) Catch Builder Minion and Minion playing Curling in kitchen with biscuit tin and broom. They have greased floor with very expense virgin olive oil. Will be glad when Olympics finished and Minions not so overexcited.

Friday (Friday) Recovering from sprained ankle. Sit on settee with Builder Minion and Minion make amends for stupid. Grease floor! With expense olive oil! глупые мальчики! Will have to do much more to make up. Make list of extra chore.

Saturday (Saturday)

Boys always think funny when try translate words. I think funny when boys (and minions) try translate women full stop. Never understand.

Wake up to sound of big bang. Minion and Builder Minion try to ski jump on stairs. Вздох. Now Builder Minion hurt. Have no sympathy. Told them to tidy magazines, but they have strap them to feet to make slippery ‘ski’. Will be glad when Olympics finished and Minions not so overexcited.

Tuesday (Tuesday)

Sunday (Sunday)

Courtesy @sochiproblems

Builder Minion think hilarious to sing “Sochi Sochi Sochi, oi oi oi” over and over again. I do not think hilarious. Do not know where this song derive from. Now cannot get from head. Will be glad when Olympics finished and Minions not so overexcited.

Only one week before Olympics finish. Will be glad. A lot of people hurt in Olympics. Now Minion have to do work of Builder Minion too. Serve right. Think perhaps time for new less stupid Minion(s).

Wednesday (Wednesday)

Will be glad when Olympics finished and Minions not so overexcited.

No peace from Minions when Great Britain win first gold medal. Is strange sport of Skeleton where lady go on tea tray

LIES, DAMN LIES AND GUITAR PLAYERS: PART 2 The great Charlie Parker put it best:

“You’ve got to learn your instrument. Then, you practice, practice, practice. And then, when you finally get up there on the bandstand, forget all that and just wail.” “I don’t know any music theory”. This one isn’t so much a piece of deliberate deceit as it is guitarists dealing in ‘temporary truths’. Not an unreasonable distinction, but one must suspend disbelief to understand it. Oftentimes when extremely adept (and invariably rock) players say, “I don’t know music theory”, they may actually believe what they say at the time they say it. It’s temporarily true. Even though they know full well which frets correspond to which notes all over the guitar neck and which notes make up certain chords; they also know the note intervals as well as the names and shapes of frequently used scales and arpeggios. When they profess their ignorance of music theory this may be a genuine form of humility; they know they lack the super in-depth understanding – the granularityof knowledge – that comprises the tool kit of jazz or fusion players who are by comparison ultra-theoretical in their approach to playing. This kind of modesty is reasonable, even admirable.

your bow, but as a completely different weapon entirely. Think of it as being aware of the ‘why’ as well as the ‘how’ of music. Rock players who develop real chops, great bending, vibrato and timing have the ‘how’ part of the guitar arsenal – essentially engaging in a battle of the heart. Those who, in addition to these skills, start to incorporate music theory will soon have the ‘why’ – they will battle not only with the heart, but with the mind. This is what you hear in the sublime jazz lines of Joe Pass, or the beautifully melodic metal solos of Marty Friedman. Not just mindless speed and notes played for the sake of playing notes, but an intelligent use of note selection that follows the chord changes which makes for a far less predictable or cliché composition . The solo in Guns N’ Roses’ Don’t Cry is a deceptive example of this, a perfect balance of ‘how’ and ‘why, expressive bends & vibrato coupled with genius note selection.

You don’t have to go too deep into the rabbit hole on theory, and from a rock or blues perspective there is a fair argument for some limits. It was none other than Paul Gilbert, technical phenom and universally revered virtuoso who conceded that learning theory for the first time started to stunt his blues playing, as he began to play “very diatonically”, meaning very obviously within scalar structures. This is a fair point and something of a minor hurdle you “Once you start to know theory, you really start to will have to clear in the initial stages; being too ‘in your head’ can know how many other people know it” inhibit your otherwise expressive nature when improvising, but just Learn it to a basic level at the very least, and be honest about the as picking technique is drilled to the point where muscle memory fact that you’re learning it with friends, band mates and younger uses it in an autopilot manner, so too can theory soak in to your beginners who look up to you. Always give away your recipe for unconscious so that it is no longer the master, but the servant. success, in any walk of life. There is nothing uncool or pretentious about educating yourself with pen and paper to become a better Check in again next month for Lie Number 3, “I’m completely musician in the same manner as most other instrumentalists. Your self-taught” Thanks to Daxy playing will improve and take on a certain sophistication you will find incredibly rewarding; not just to serve as another string to http://chalkonthesidewalk.wordpress.com/ If, on the other hand, a guitarist plays a diminished lick over a V chord of a 12 bar progression, or a Mixolydian phrase over a Dominant 7 used as the IV chord, you are entitled to laugh at him when he says he doesn’t know theory. One of the first great players I jammed with when I was a novice told me something I never forgot:

The

s n o s r a P Knows

By Denise Parsons – Music Promoter – ‘The Live Music Project’ Trestle Arts Base, St.Albans

THIS MONTH’S TOP 4 BANDS/ARTISTS! Hello everyone. I hope 2104 is shaping up well for you. It most certainly is for local music and there is some fantastic stuff around St Albans at the moment. ‘The Live Music Project’ is going from strength to strength in its mission to support local unsigned original artists and our first two gigs of the year went very well indeed. Currently we are booked right through to June and have some wonderful acts coming your way! For the March gig we are welcoming back Nick & The Sun Machine as headliners after their stunning performance for us last November along with some excellent support acts, a couple of which I will be introducing to you here! (Not so subtle plug!!)

So here you go…. My choices for this month….

Hope

She is very young and very talented, writing all her own songs with a depth of feeling that belies her tender age. She sings them beautifully, accompanying herself on keyboard

March also sees the release of some previously unreleased material from none other than ‘The Man In Black’ himself Mr Johnny Cash. This new album called ‘Out Among The Stars’ is on my wish list (P.S My birthday is April!!) And thinking about Johnny has reminded me of one of my favourite quotes;

“I wore black because I liked it. I still do, and wearing it still means something to me. It’s still my symbol of rebellion -- against a stagnant status quo, against our hypocritical houses of God, against people whose minds are closed to others’ ideas.” ― Johnny Cash

or sometimes with the aid of Mr Jack Hobbs on guitar and harmonies. (I had the pleasure of meeting Jack recently as he volunteered to do the sound for me at Trestle) This month we will be showcasing Hope in her first venue gig! If she is this good at 14 then she is really going to be one to keep your eye on in the future!! Please check out her page. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Hope/1400537690158134?fref=ts http://goo.gl/JFmZes:/

Rae Kelly

Another female singer songwriter playing keyboard, with a fantastic vocal style. Hailing from Dublin, her songs have a slightly jazzy/pop feel but very well written

with infectious rhythms. You can tell that Rae has had music in her life from a young age and had a musical education with her flawless performance skills. Very much enjoyed her performance at Trestle recently and would strongly suggest you get a copy of her EP! https://www.facebook.com/raekellymusic https://soundcloud.com/rae-kelly/sets/render-all-your-thoughts-

Pirate Captains

Well what an absolute joy and bundle of fun these guys were when I saw them recently! I am not normally one to talk about covers bands unless, like these guys, they do something with it that is totally unique and that’s just what these guys do!! With David Hoare and Alex Chichester Miles on vocals they are essentially a Ska band (with a fantastic sax player) but instead of sticking to the tired Madness or Specials covers they have Ska versions of songs that had me laughing my head off. Like 99 Red Balloons, Phil Collins and Talking Heads to name but a few !! I Wish I could remember the rest of the set list but none of them were standard Ska songs at all. Absolutely fantastic and dressed up as Pirates! This band could make a fortune on the party circuit. Sadly they don’t get together that often due to other commitments but should you get a chance to see them then please do! You won’t regret it!

. Garry ‘Slide’ Smith

I guess the clue is in the name!! I’ve seen Garry a few times now and his laidback style and unassuming ways really appeal to me. Some great folky blues (sort of!) but definitely his own style with some nice banter and a very shiny guitar which I also like! So I booked him for Trestle in March! Come and see for yourself. https://www.facebook.com/garry.smith.18 https://soundcloud.com/garry-smith/dannys-got-a-job

Trestle Arts Base, Russet Drive, St.Albans, AL4 OJQ 01727 850950 Thank you and Goodnight!!e: production@trestle.org.uk www.trestle.org.uk @trestletheatre

My Dinner with Andy As creatures of culture, The Tuesday Club are an effete lot. Sometimes they quite like sitting down to a meal in a restaurant with white table cloths, loads of knives and forks, water in darkblue bottles and a menu that serves about three things.Andy and Jordan (no silly stage names tonight) sat down for one such meal last week; Andy discussed what made him tick musically and Jordan made notes... and wondered just how much this thing was going to cost...Over to Andy...

On music as therapy: I’m not precious where the song goes – as long as my lyrics stay constant. For me, that’s the story of the song. They say all musicians have some form of mental illness... and bi-polar disorders run in my family. I don’t ever get nervous, dealing with any issues I have in my life through my music – frequently, my most personal lyrics are so obscure only I would recognisethem. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a huge fan of Adam Ant, whose battles with mental illness have been widely publicised. Like him, I see music as my therapy. On the band: The Tuesday Club... it’s nice not to have to play a guitar at all, like I did inThe Scratch. It gives a better overview of what the rest of the band is doing (doodling at the back... Ed.). The Tuesday Club has moved on a lot from the early songs. The new songs are more sophisticated and the band gives each other space to play their parts, something which is hard to do with eight people - it gets crowded in there! On getting older: Getting older hasn’t changed my view on music. While the way the songs are played and the sentiment behind them might have changed, my outlook on all of my musical endeavours has remained a constant. What’s frustrating, having been in bands for over 30 years, is thatnothinghas gotten easier, as far as getting people to notice you is concerned. As you getolder, you get better at things, so we’re all really good at being in a band now! Most top bandsthese days are alongway from being kids. It’s a shame that the industry still celebrates actual youth over young outlooks. Old Before Your Time (B-side, forthcoming New Glamour single) wasn’t written as a joke. It’s a serious point. In 2002’s Peter Winterbottom film 24 Hour Party People, Ian Curtis says David Bowie has betrayed everyone and lied when he’s singing the line about being dead at 25 in All The Young Dudes...aged 27! When I was 25, I may have been inclined to agree... but a couple of decades on, of course I think that’s bollocks of course! :-).

On his lyrics: The lyrics are often at odds with the music – a lot of the time I write a happy chord progression - but with melancholy lyrics. That juxtaposition only really dawned on me after listening to Kurt Cobain, way back when. I then began to mix the idea of T.Rex chord progressions with Nirvana lyrics and that really resonated for me. It’s where I’m happiest.I do find it hard to add to songs after their inception, though. If someone in the band says ‘We need an extra verse,’ then that’s tough. I have to be in the moment of that song to write. It’s hard to go back. On our first single,Dolly Dynamite: In Dolly Dynamite (one of our happiest tracks!) the lyrics are utter nonsense. It’s written like a scrap book – the lyrics are based on things I’ve seen, read, or heard and I just linked them together. It doesn’t mean a thing until you get to the middle, then the lyrics become You only get better with age... or at least more experienced! personal. Marc Bolan used to do something similar in that he Look at Seasick Steve. Just keep going... but don’t GET old. could make sense of the lyrics, when others didn’t have a clue! On 2014: I’m really looking forward to the 2014 On how he writes songs: I always begin Tuesday Club – we’ve got some great new songs coming writing on the acoustic... which makes no sense as I never use along and it’s really exciting to still be making songs that an acoustic on stage! I’m not a technical guitar player; in fact, I excite me.... and then we left. Jordan attempted to pay the don’t have a clue what I’m playing most of thetime - If a chord bill but as people generally ignore him in restaurants, he sounds right, it is... trying to explain that to the rest of the band waited about twenty minutes then left anyway. Their loss. is occasionally tough! It’s great to play with some really great Next time: Probably The Minx musicians though, as they have notrouble interpreting what I’m trying to achieve. Thanks to Neil Stephenson for the picture

in doing the deed. Et voila!

The Minx Я хотел бы к весне очистить рты мальчиков Kahn (Unsalted Popcorn)

I’d like to spring clean Richard Parker, the Popcorn office cat, removing his tendancy to get into a fight. This would save him pain and discomfort, and me the sodding vet bills.

! g n i n Clea

the daffs are out and it’s that time when we all get the industrial mops and dusters out for the spring clean. We also tend to do mental spring cleaning too. We asked out motley collection of them-off-of-In-The-Club what they will be spring cleaning this month…

It’s March,

Reggie Mental (Editor)

On my Android keyboard app I have loads of words that auto-correct annoyingly, so every time I go AN to type ‘phone’ it auto-corrects to iPhone - ON e? Appl by ANDROID?! Is it subtle guerilla tactics om Either way I will enjoy spring cleaning the cust ying anno dictionary and getting rid of stupid and and misspelled words.

SimonJ68

e My Spring Clean will be as usual, email and phon contacts. If I’ve not communicated with you for a year, you don’t need to be in my main list. Relegation is the first step to deletion.

Wasabi P

The Beautiful Wolf

I wanna spring clean my mind and get rid of all that useless shit that is clogging it and then defrag it.

Glabrous Fabulous

my Not being made like others, I have already done spring-cleaning in January.

The Eye

Due to the amount of er .. extraneous video footage of a somewhat possibly unsavoury nature, I’d better do an archive and defrag before Mrs Eye wonders why my hard drives are full (again).

Tittybar Telski

I’d better spring clean the takeaway menu drawer, the local Chinese has closed down and I’ve forgotten which Indian restaurant is which. Oh, apparently there is a Thai place round the corner ….

Andrea Vanderbraindrain

I want to spring clean the merch bag, by selling all of our albums, so we can fund the next one!

SEE YOU NEXT TU ESDAY! is the The Tuesda y Club’s debut LP Out on Limited Ed ition (Signed White Vinyl) and 14 track CD

Buy yours now at : www.theTCshop .co

My spring cleaning task for 2014 is to finally complete my purge of odd socks. I’m reluctant to throw any out as I know other half of the pair will immediately appear. Time to be ruthless. The sock drawer will barely close now.

J-Rod

Not so much of a Spring Clean as a ‘Spring Rework’. Having accumulated more pedals than will fit on my little bit of metal, I decided to get a bigger piece of metal. This then led to having to re-work the power supply, due to cables not fitting properly... so out with the drill and off to Father J-Rod for a hand

“Flippin’ wonderful. Probably the shortest review I have ever written but it really says it all - musicnews.com “If Roxy Music were doing the Rocky Horror show, they’d sound like this” - Steve Honest, Loaded TV/Hackney Rd Studios “It’s the Sex Pistols set to music!” -

Charles VerRall

“A wanton orgy between Alberto Y Los Trios Paranoias and The Tubes with extra devilry from Kitty Hudson.” - The Ringmaster “This is clever while staying absolutely exuberant , and The Tuesday Club are one of the most exciting acts I’ve heard all year.” - AAA Music

n I Not all PR is good PR There is the commonly held fallacy that as long as you are in the news or the press that that can only be a good thing, as it means at least people are noticing you, but as the world moves onwards in technology that is falling apart quickly. Not only is every action or quote from a minor celeb picked over for hints of gossip or scandal by every newspaper going but everything is everywhere at the speed of the internet, and is seen, read, listened to and forgotten at a rate that makes Andy Warhol and his fifteen minutes of fame seem like a lifetime.

@simonj68 is back, with his

. .‘hairy’ Chesterfield! what keeps it fun and fresh; the mix and the differences. Reading a review of why someone doesn’t like something can often tell you more than reading 20 reviews of people who do like it. The honesty is easier when you don’t like something as you have to justify why. So, back to the point, where do all the very similar reviews come from?

Simple really, from PR companies who quite honestly have no idea what music is about, and treat it like any other commodity. I get details of new releases, pre-releases and quite often offers of free albums in exchange for a review, which I always treat as a compliment, but as I do like to remind people, everything I review, books / music / whatever, is usually what I have bought and I share my views accordingly. As soon as you get into a place where you are getting free stuff all the time, it is implicit in the arrangement that you will also give positive reviews, and that is where the whole thing falls apart.

So often I am told of an album or band and I Google them and am greeted by their on line presence and it is instantly And there are few areas as impacted by apparent if they are doing it themselves this as music, and new releases, especially or have PR doing it for them. The next from new artists. clue is in the next 50 results, and sadly all too often those will be just a straight copy In some of my other on-line lives, I review and paste of the press release on what music; mainly new stuff I find and like, and passes for a “music blog”. I try to do my little bit where I can to help unknown artists make a slightly bigger This is the worst possible thing to find splash in a massive pond. Every little helps, when trying to find out about a band but for some I think this message has got or album. The press release is hardly confused and think that a lot of little things going to be in anyway critical is it? It are a good thing. To me it is quality not is the equivalent of watching Lovejoy quantity that is the key. and Rimmer on a Sunday morning on C4 where everything is “brilliant” and When you look up reviews for a new “excellent” and “exciting” but hours later album or new artist would you rather you are still none the wiser see one written by someone giving their as to what anyone honest opinion (be that good or bad), or really thinks about hundreds of links, all looking strangely anything. similar? For me, I want to read a review written by someone who has listened to I have fallen out the music, and gives a good write up of with a number of PR it. Even for music I don’t like personally I agencies who act can see why others may like it, and that is in this way. On two

separate occasions from two different agencies I was just told “Just copy and paste the press release and you can have the album and tickets to a gig”. I will add at this stage that there are many excellent music sites and blogs all over the internet, but they are being swallowed and destroyed by this sort of mindset. Aside from the fact that I do like to think I have some integrity, neither of those agencies cared if I even listened to the music, all they wanted was to get some follows on Twitter, a few Facebook likes and maybe, just maybe, one of those people would maybe one day listen to the music. One of my friends runs a record label and has over a thousand followers on Twitter, and he has been offering a unique and named EP to people for free. Not even 100 people had asked for one. What the hell are you doing “following” a record label and not even taking a free album? My advice for free to new and lesser known bands.

• Don’t give your music for free to

bloggers just to copy and paste a press release. Let people listen to it and write about it if they like it (or don’t).

• Don’t start a PR campaign months before the album is out. In today’s digital world people will purchase / download in an instant, they will not diarise it for July.

• Don’t let an agency run your on-

line presence. Do it yourselves and interact – you may be surprised at how well this works.

• Don’t stop doing what you love.

the time of reading this, you’ll already know who has won what at the Baftas and The Oscars. So talking about the two big awards events in the film year is going to be a tricky – so let’s look at what we do know. Let’s look at who didn’t win. And we know WHY they didn’t win, ‘cos they weren’t bloody nominated. Perhaps the biggest travesty is All Is Lost – which has been overlooked in every category. If you’ve missed this gem, it’s Robert Redford trying to survive alone on a boat when everything has gone to shit. It is, in a word, brilliant. It shouldn’t work – it’s slow-paced, the emotional hits are almost understated, and it’s just one man on a boat. But what a performance from Sir Mr Bob. With barely any dialogue, he paints the pictures you need – he tells you everything about his character (Our Man), and with that you’re hooked and you care what happens. To the point you’re almost screaming at the screen in the final minutes. It is possibly finest performance of his distinguished career.

12 Years A Slave) was enough. (Although U2 are up for a Best Song Oscar for Mandela, so I guess that’s OK.)

Finally, while the wonderful The Broken Circle Breakdown could win the Foreign Language gong over in LA, it’s been over-looked by the Brits. And yet neither the Bafta nor the Oscar committees And for what? The Act Of Killing, Metro Manilla and have recognized this. Which is ridiculous. Wadjda are all worthy, but Blue Is The Warmest It’s the same with Naomie Harris, whose role as Winnie Colour? A three-hour lesbian porn fest that actually Mandela was the stand-out performance makes you wish they’d get dressed and go for a in an otherwise coffee? That is deemed more worthy than a film that disappointing Long looks at dreams and beliefs being challenged and Walk To Freedom. shattered, at how broken hearts can be mended? Maybe both Bafta, have a word with yourself… committees decided one heart-lifting tale of black people overcoming oppression (in this case the sublime

Kahn Johnson is the editor of the occasionally praised Unsalted Popcorn blog, presents the rarely - heard Unsalted Popcorn podcast and might one day find himself editing a magazine for a national MS charity, which can only end well…

unsaltedpopcorn.blogspot.com https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-unsalted-popcorn-podcast/id714210886?mt=2

Wasabi’s Welcome to the latest instalment of internet nonsense.

A big thumbs up to this

http://justsomething.co/21-hilarious-moviestills-with-guns-replaced-with-thumbs-up/

It starts with...

Completely evil. Where can I get one....?

Album covers are a form of advertising and artwork all rolled into one. Iconic covers are timeless...others less so

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUKMUZ4tlJg

http://justsomething.co/the-21-mostridiculous-yugoslav-album-covers-ever/

I hope this magazine never ends up featured here...

How rude

http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2013/04/26/ unfortunate-publishing-layouts-of-our-time/

http://bartgabriel.tumblr.com/ post/68773483027/throwback-mondayvenom-submitted-their-demo-tape

e y E The

Miss Simzone Takeover

If you want to see more of Simone’s offerings, you can visit her Simzone YouTube Channel here. http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6855A5215F396B28 *The Eye has been sent on an er ...enforced holiday this month, and when he has untangled himself from the Minx’s cowbell tassels he will return forthwith.

...in the sky

Having had the lovely Simone Austwick putting together the visual feast that is the new TC video for New Glamour, we simply had to allocate our regular photoreceptic spot to that very moving picture. So without further ado, here it is!

New Glamour Click here!