In the club 008

Issue 008 April 2014

Welcome

TO ‘IN THE CLUB’, THE OFFICIAL TUESDAY CLUB INTERACTIVE MAGAZINE - BROUGHT TO YOU IN CONJUNCTION WITH THE PERFECT POP CO-OP AND OUR FRIENDS

April. One of those odd months where you’re never quite too sure what to wear when you leave the house. By this, I don’t mean Tweed Jacket and Plus-Fours vs. Something That Grayson Perry Would Wear, I mean the conflict between Winter Jumper and Not Winter Jumper, Light Jacket vs. Heavy Jacket, Three Layers...or Two? All these small conundrums. Being from Swansea... my natural instinct is ‘whatever the weather, take an umbrella.’

The reason why I’m chatting about clothes here, is due to The Tuesday Club’s stage-gear. Last year, during the summer heatwave (which lasted for ages. Lovely), I decided that it might be somewhat prudent to get some Summer stage gear. Off I went to the army surplus place in Cambridge, which is staffed by a few guys who might either be the best people, or worst people, you could have around you in the Zombie Apocalypse. Either way, they stock Summer pattern military shirts. I bought three.

Summer stagewear... sorted!

Only thing was, I didn’t really fancy returning to the heavy No,1 British Army dress jacket I’d been wearing for the Winter. Fast forward to when we played the turning on of the Christmas lights event for the City Of St. Albans in November... and the khaki short-sleeved shirt was still being worn. Despite it being about 3 degrees and sleeting.

But consistency is good. People know who they’re watching is us... and not someone else. We might, however, be planning some special looks for this year’s youbloom@Dublin festival which we’re playing in June. Watch this space.

J-Rod. Guitarist Stage Left, and typo - and Not A Clue About Fashion But Quite Likes H+M Jeans As They Fit. 8 TRACK MARCH. . . WHAT THE TUESDAY CLUB ARE CURRENTLY STICKING IN THEIR EARDRUMS! Andreas Vanderbraindrain: Soft Cell - Memorabilia (Cicada Dub Version) https://open.spotify.com/track/1XHZw9cJEzLdDdKhqdGOHx The Minx: Georgia Satellites – Keep Your Hands To Yourself https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSXyGsSosEc Wasabi Penis: Vista Chino - Sweet Remain http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LWvOl8ZqRY J-Rod: Eddie Cochran - I Remember https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fZpq1ms_VU? Rogerio Marauder: L7 - Stuck Here Again http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMVTBt1rSLE The Beautiful Wolf: The Moles - The Mysterious End of Friend No.2 http://youtu.be/RoR1onXnKek Tittybar Telski: Tittybar Telski: Red Hot Chili Peppers – Factory of Faith https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1swaZbPZL-g&feature=kp Thanks to: Design @8ecreative, Tiggy Pop. Editor: Reggie Mental.

Photography: Neil Stephenson, & Various Words: @simonj68, Denise Parsons, The Minx, Faye Don’tlikeitupum, Stuart Pidboy, Don Tellumpike, Don T. Panic, Sister Dolly, AVBD, Beautiful Wolf, J-Rod, Wasabi Penis, Daxy, Kahn.

Upcoming gigs!

Contents Cover star:

The Tuesday Club

8 Track 2-3 What’s going on in our musical world

New Glamour Launch Special 4-5 Who’s in the club?

6-7

With Richard Norris from The Time and Space Machine

(Club) Foot tappers

8

AVBD, J-Rod and The Beautiful Wolf trawl their record collections

Da Minx 9

Weds April 2 - West Herts Radio don Sat April 5 - Paper Dress Vintage, Lon (New Glamour Single Launch Party) The 88 Support Sat April 11 - The Horn, St.Albans Tues April 15 - Amble Inn, Harpenden lbans Sat April 26 - Trestle Arts Base, St.A al, Dublin Fri/Sat June 13/14 - You Bloom Festiv Sat July 12 - Farmers Boy, St.Albans , Burton Constable Sat Sept 27 - Cornucopia Festival 2014 Sat Nov 1 - Farmers Boy, St.Albans support) Sat Nov 22nd - Islington 02 (TOYAH Sat November 8 - Ant-Lib, London Sat Dec 6 - Farmers Boy, St.Albans

The Chanteuse Speaks!

Lies, Damn Lies and Guitars 9 Guitar tips with Daxy

The Parson’s Knows

10-11

Denise, gives us all the news from Trestle Arts base.

My Meal with Minki

12

J-Rod, gets into the mind of The Minx!

Unsalted Popcorn 13 Film reviews and the like from our latest recruit Kahn Johnson

Lies, Damn Lies and Guitars 14 Guitar tips with Daxy

Wasabi’s Wonders & The Eye 15 Caperage, hilarity and fly on the wall movie footage

DON’T MISS: New Gl amour - Single launch - Paper Dress Vintage, Saturday 5th April details o n page 3

facebook.com/thisisthetuesdayclub @thetuesdayclub1 AVBD - @Vnderbraindrain The Minx - @TCTheMinx R. Marauder - @YTDS Dave Worm - @Roddamiser J-Rod - @JRod_TC www.youtube.com/thisisthetuesdayclub thisisthetuesdayclub.co.uk info@thisisthetuesdayclub.co.uk pinterest.com/thetuesdayclub thetuesdayclub.tmstor.es

New Glamour - 5TH APRIL! introducing our Co-Stars...

Paper Dress - The single The filling in the aural sandwich launch of The Tuesday is Vibe Machine. Their website Club’s new single New consists of a big TV set, Glamour obviously features which we already love, and The Tuesday Club. And if they describe themselves as you don’t know about them, ‘constructed with the finest hand Click here! then we do have to wonder engineered rhythm and rhyme’. http://www.youtube.com/playlist? list=PL6855A5215F396B28 how you came across this They sing about polar bears and mag! However, as we do, have a double bass player and we would also like to impart some info about the other bands that will grace the stage is if that’s not enough at Paper Dress on 5th April. they have been First up we have Rosa described as like “Ian Mojo Described a dark, Dury bumping into Gil romantic siren, Rosa Mojo Scott Heron and the is a singer/songwriter who pair of them moving manages to break from the to LA to be produced norm, dare-we-say-it, twee

by Steely Dan, picking mould. She is inspired by all things gothic and mysterious, up a Memphis horn giving her songs a much darker poetic pop-noire edge. section, on the way”, With videos filmed in beautiful overgrown cemeteries which, the more you (produced by our own TC fave, Simone Austwick, who listen to them, the more directed our New Glamour video, see centre) and flower you can hear it! entwined top hats, Rosa Mojo will steal our hearts and have to give them back before our next act takes to http://vibemachine.info/ the stage. facebook.com/pages/VibeMachine/14493065889 2206?fref=ts www.rosamojo.com

New Glamour

www.facebook.com/rosamojo It’s FREE for the single launch and come early to make sure you get a seat!

Please join the official Facebook page, so the promoter can see you are coming along! https://www.facebook.com/events/1478852035672095/?ref=22

In the club with

Richard Norris

d n a e m i T e Th space Machine

ost Norris. One of St.Albans’ forem rd ha Ric us ulo fab the s), eye r record short of an icon (in ou work with British psychedelic to on This month we feature nothing nt we he re he m Fro . ars nor of band Innocent Vic rous remixes, DJ sets and all ma Punk Pioneers with the teenage me nu the on nti me to t no ’s id, neers The Gr ne, so without further adoo, let chi Ma ace Sp d label, Bam Caruso, 80’s rave pio an e Tim e Th sent day with his current act journalism, right up to the pre welcome our guest...

g in the 1) First off, we are sittin rview, and cyber pub doing this inte u want to it’s our round. What do yo drink?

I’ll have a vodka and tonic, thanks very much. Have they got any crisps? e, do you 2) Speaking of cyber spac hopes of a think that despite early could get ‘free market, where you click of a out to the millions with a or is actually mouse’, that the net has lping new working in reverse for he ping the music get heard by swam whole thing?

ssex that has nightly Su in s nd ba in rta ce d lpe no doubt he r teenagers in fo ls sa ar he re e. nc die au r de get heard by a wi of rehearsal and h nc bu a on t ou ’s ry However the ju They are . es ac sp g in rd co re es do things like Spotify - it always full! be ay M ic. us m e lu va de to seem g you 4) What was the last thin this will change. s so good you er in St. 3) You started your care ger of the Albans as the teenage sin onto working Innocent Vicars, moved e Grid and with Waldo’s records, Th Machine. now The Time and Space projects, it All in their way very DIY k that this would seem. Do you thin hearts and ethic is still winning the ted kids’ of minds of the less ‘connec to start a today and inspiring them 70s or do band as it did in the late easy way you think it’s now just an cool’? for the industry to ‘stay

heard/watched that wa t it? had to tell someone abou

..

Film wise, The Great Beauty. a great piece of film making that draws you into its world for three hours. Masterful.

I’d also recommend Tracey n’s book ‘Bedsit Disco or Th I , ow kn to rly ea It’s too anyone who would r fo ’ en ue Q t ea gr ly in rta reckon... it’s ce know what it was like to e lik s. rd co re e ur sc ob g for findin in the St nd ys ba wa a al in ll be wi to ch oa pr ap r fo IY g D in e Th When I was work be there, particularly in Bam Caruso in St. Albans times like these when major it was pretty hard to find labels are only signing a obscure psychedelic records very narrow type of acts. you’d be relying on lists that The continued success of got sent in the post via a shops like Rough Trade and network of collectors, a small the resurgence of vinyl is a amount of media and some sure people m .

I’ ff . ng sta thi rd od co go re e bl ea dg le ow kn t form bands Nowadays I’mdiscovering grea are inspired to the 70’s... psychedelic tracks from across as much as in my studio is in a complex the globe via YouTube on a s regular basis. The internet ha

Albans area in the 70’s/early 80’s.

8) You are creating a Time and Space Machine time capsule, what 4 items do you put in it?

5) Would you say there any great untapped genres in music or is it now just cyclical?

The new Roland Aria drum machine, so people would hear how dance records were made in 2021, some fine wine that’ll age well, a copy of Viz and Simon Cowell.

There’s masses of great untapped music out there.

That’s what I love about it there’s always something new to discover.

6) Do you still see/collaborate with anyone from the St. Albans/ Waldo’s days/scene - the likes of Nick Haeffner for instance, who was also on Waldo’s?

I’m in touch with Nick Haeffner and quite a few people from that time. Nick is a lecturer and author, an authority on film and particularly Alfred Hitchcock.

I helped Tracey Thorn with her book a little but haven’t really collaborated musically with St. Albans based musicians for a while. I’m mainly working with Erol Alkan on our project Beyond The Wizard’s Sleeve, although I may be working with Dave Ball from the Grid again, alongside Robert Fripp.

And I very occasionally go and see Phil and Angie Lloyd Smee, of Waldos/Bam Caruso fame, without whom I wouldn’t have been involved in decades of music.

7) If you could be any character in a film, what film and who would it be?

Mugatu in Zoolander.

9) You are now In The Club, but what club do you actually wish it was?

Amnesia, Ibiza 1987 10) What question haven’t we asked you that you wish we had?

Can I sell you my first pressing copy of “Madman Running Through The Fields’

by Dantalian’s Chariot for a fiver? Excellent!

Thanks Richard.

So, where can we find you on t’internet? Pls give us links:

Most of my remixes - Tame Impala, Chemical Brothers, Temples, Jagwar Ma, Bryan Ferry etc - are here www.soundcloud.com/richardnorris

And any gigs coming up?

I’m hard at it in the studio at the moment but will be playing a number of festivals in the summer and some international dates including Berlin, Warsaw and Taipei too. www.facebook.com/timeandspacemachine

B U L C Foot tappers

‘COS the Platters still matter.. .

Dear Club fans, welcome to AVBD and The Beautiful Wolf’s monthly round up of the new, the old, the signed, the unsigned and the inspirational, from our very own musical old curiosity shop, where we pick and podcast 10( ish) tracks that turn us on... with a little help from J-Rod! Here’s a selection of the featured tracks, but you’ll have to listen to find out more :-)

This month’s featured track from ‘See You Next Tuesday’, is - our new single ‘New Glamour’ This is a re-recorded version of the track that was originally featured on our debut - See the opposite advert for more details, including our very special ‘launch Party!’ http://thetuesdayclub.tmstor.es/

The Dubwood Allstars Under Dubwood That man again - Richard Norris, (Time & Space Machine, The Grid, Innocent Vicars... etc), this time on a 7 inch single produced for the excellent www.caughtbytheriver.net/ The Men That Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing Victoria’s Secret To appease The Minx who has it as

her ring tone. http://youtu.be/tjPapWX-Sk4

teaming of two of the label’s bands.

New Young Pony Club - Ice Cream English noughties band sounding like they’re from 70s New York.

Taken from their excellent debut album Fantastic Playroom.

www.ghostbox.co.uk/ Bauhaus Spirit A bit of http://youtu.be/-shACMaxUb0 early 80s goth.

Pete Murphy The Moles - Fuller’s Dram fresh from A track from a few years back from his Memorex Bristol’s Moles. Taken from their Cassette tapes album Future Sounds of Ashton on TV advert. the See Monkey http://youtu.be/UUgp7KDsMmw Do Monkey label.

Adam and the http://goo.gl/RmBrP2 Ants - Picasso Visita El Planeta De Los Simios This version is a demo of the track that appeared on We hope you enjoy this months The Prince Charming Album back podcast, don’t forget you can in 1981. Featuring Gary Tibbs subsribe to them and listen again on Bass, who also played on last at: month’s Roxy Music track Trash. http://youtu.be/zyYUHMPG-Bo www.mixcloud.com/thisisTheTuesdayClub/ John Kongos Step On The 70s original of the Happy Mondays single, here’s John Kongos twisting our melons on French TV in 1971. http://youtu.be/ld1vQVoaQIM

Belbury Poly and Moon Wiring ESG - Dance Cool 70s Club - Portals and Parallels New York nu wave Number one of the Ghostbox label’s http://youtu.be/Kj99ji3TGCo 7 inch Study Series, featuring a

ore To find out m d about these an n our other tracks o d show downloa ast... your FREE podc

click

here

DA Minx It’s not always easy to know who you are talking to at Tuesday Club gig. Looking for the cowbell

ComparetheMinki.com ... Don’t get minxed up!

Monday (Monday)

Friday (Friday)

Is April already. Minion and Builder Minion keep talk of April Fool. Who is this April Fool and why they so excited about her?

They laughing and whispering like they both have affairs with this girl. I kill her!! Minx have total devotion from Minions. Else Minx look for new Minions, is easy. Minx click fingers and new Minions line up. Current Minions should not bandy about name of this April Fool. Вздох

All cans of spaghetti hoop now gone. Let Builder Minion sleep in own bed. Today is Good Friday. Is not good but is definitely Friday. At Easter Minx only accept Faberge egg. Builder Minion give egg soak in Fabreze as did not understand brief of shop.

Once again to punish Builder Minion. He most stupid of all Minions ever had. But have to admit egg smell nice.

Tuesday (Tuesday) Realise that I am one who is fool. Minions explain joke of April Fool. Is funny. But why allowed only on 1st April and for morning? Should able to make joke all of April. Minion show old footage from 70s of trees growing of spaghetti. Is marvellous.

Ha ha ha. Cannot believe population of UK fall for this shit.

They are April Fools. Ha ha ha. Must make own April joke.

Whole house smell of nice. At least Builder Minion good for something. J-Rod from band of Tuesday Club come round to speak to Minki. Most disgrunt that he wish to speak with her and not me, but she never far from me so have no choice. He want to interview HER and feature in magazine!?!!!!!! святой ебать At least I have own column. She have too much to say. I am one who hit cowbell.

Wednesday (Wednesday)

Sunday (Sunday)

Send Builder Minion and Minion to shop to buy spaghetti for make own joke in garden. глупые мальчики!! Come back with dozen tin of spaghetti hoops in tomato sauce. What is Minx to do? Get Minions to hang cans up instead. Make pretty tree in front garden. Though now poor people at end of road think is food bank and take cans like presents. Set Builder Minion to shoo away. He make good bouncer of spaghetti hoops.

Easter Sunday. No more joke. Is serious. Is day of rest. So send Minions to make breakfast in bed for Minx, clean house and sweep poor people off doorstep who decide camp out. Minion not quite manage Faberge egg. After all, not pay him, so unless he steal, he not able to buy for Minx. He hand paint eggs in egg box and put with chocolate, inside each egg, wrap with pale blue ribbon. All by himself. Clever Minion. Minx pleased. Minx feel quite emotional for Minx. Minx need to talk to Minx and ‘have a word’. Will not do for Minx get emotional. Then notice tiny hand paint picture of girl on egg. Girl wear what look suspiciously like flip flop. Minx furious and fling.

Thursday (Thursday) Next door neighbour ask if new garden tree is decoration for Easter. Though he asking in snot way that he thinks we stupid.

I forget that is Easter, so tell him yes and send him away with fleas in ear. He looks at me as if I am fool, but ha ha ha, next door neighbour is April Fool! Still have issue with food bank people.

Minx Palace is not fuck food bank. Poor people also go away with fleas in ear. Probably had fleas in ear already. Грязный

Saturday (Saturday)

Must rid world of disgust shoe.

The

s n o s r a P Knows

By Denise Parsons – Music Promoter – ‘The Live Music Project’ Trestle Arts Base, St.Albans

THIS MONTH’S TOP 4 BANDS/ARTISTS! Wow… Its spring!! Seems like only yesterday it was raining cats, dogs and other apocalyptic stuff!!

where ever she goes! I had been told about her from several different sources before I got a chance to There is an excited buzz at Trestle HQ this month as catch a few of her songs we work towards our 1 year anniversary party on at my local open mic night 26th April. I’m finding it hard to believe that ‘The and I could very easily Live Music Project’ is going to be a year old!! Over see what all the fuss was the year we have showcased over 40 original bands about.

An absolutely and artists and had over 1000 people through our incredible voice and some doors supporting them! So I’m feeling rather chuffed good original material to boot, belying her tender this month. It’s been an awful lot of work but I have years! Emma has just had a lot of support from Trestle and my lovely band played for me at Trestle of volunteers along with the great and good general and in a proper venue with public and made some lovely new friends along the a great sound the result way. My quote of the month is; ‘the gratification was nothing less than comes in the doing, not the results’ (James Dean) - spectacular! You could hear a pin drop as the audience which is quite handy, except the results are fantastic were completely captivated by her performance. She even too though, me thinks! So here’s to the next 12 got a tribute from the other bands performing as well. I months continuing to support local original bands really don’t think she will be playing local venues for long. and artists and bring you some top quality live music If she can create this kind of stir at 14 then the future is nights. And the icing on the cake (yes, there will be looking very bright for her! Just remember the name!

cake! ) is that The Tuesday Club will be headlining https://www.facebook.com/Emma.McGrath.Harpenden the anniversary gig and helping us celebrate – Promoters perks = Picking one of your favourite bands for our party!! Did I mention ‘I love my job’?

2.

Tic Tok Boom

So here’s my pick of what’s what this month. Fairly newly formed acoustic duo of Pete White & Steve

Austin who both have been doing the acoustic circuit for some time thus bring a nice sense of professionalism to the performance and a lovely way of engaging with the audience that sometimes is lacking from less seasoned performers.

This young singer songwriter is stunning the audiences Good original material with the added ‘Boom’ factor of loops and beats and other technical stuff I can’t name. I found that

1.

Emma McGrath

I really enjoyed this as it gave it a different vibe from a lot of other acoustic performances. Hope to catch them again soon. https://www.facebook.com/tictokboom

performance and would recommend you get to see them if you can! Their album is one of my favourites from last year and I do believe there are some new recordings out soon as well. Hurrah!! https://www.facebook.com/brokenboat

4.

Dodo Bones

Acoustic duo Robyn Snow on vocals & Stephen Patmore on guitar. I first caught these guys at Empire Records last year and immediately brought their CD! Interesting original material, very well performed. I am eagerly awaiting their performance at Trestle on 26th April.

3.

Boken Boat

https://www.facebook.com/DodoBones

I do believe I have written about these guys before but as they had been a bit quiet on the gigging front I felt the need to mention their fantastic performance at The Horn recently! They are a very talented bunch of people with a gorgeous sound that for me had me thinking ‘French café’s & boulevards’ and such! Lively, catchy and with the lovely sound of the accordion and other instrument changes and the lead singer/guitarist’s foot tapping tambourine in perfect beat. I thoroughly enjoyed their

Well that’s all for this month folks!

Thank you & goodnight.

Trestle Arts Base, Russet Drive, St.Albans, AL4 OJQ 01727 850950 e: production@trestle.org.uk www.trestle.org.uk @trestletheatre

My MEal with

By Jordan Thomas MINKI

in singing competitions, as I was a classically trained singer.... so my Mum was horrified when I came home one day and announced I had joined my first rock band! Of course, now, she loves what I do but at the time it was a bit of a shock!

Previous bands that I’ve been in have taught me a lot; Razor Babies taught me a lot about song-writing, courtesy of my then guitarist Greg (now in Kamp David).

When we started off with the British Army look, The Minx became Russian because Minx sounds a... a bit Russian!

She is supposed to be a spy and also, I had this Russian officer’s cap sitting in the wardrobe so I decided to make that part of the outfit because I wanted an excuse to wear it!

I love dressing up in bands (Any excuse – Ed.) because I never fulfilled one of my life’s ambitions – to become an actress.

These days, if I can combine something I know I can do – singing – with an air of theatricality, then great. I think I get it from my Dad – he’s a massive show off too! My Dad was involved in radio for many years and when I was a kid, I used to follow him round and watch him make his programmes. He used to do a programme called Wavelength Wanderings on BBC Radio Humberside and he’s since told me that the programme Coast (I love Coast - Ed) was based on his series. Somewhere in the BBC archives are clips of me as part of the programme, telling him ‘I can see waves coming over the cliffs, Daddy!’.

My Mum, on the other hand, wanted to be an opera singer when she was at college and both her and my Dad used to play in a folk group that they used to tour round the place, playing traditional tunes and war songs. Both of them used to drag me up on stage with them and encourage me to perform in front of an audience of old ladies (!). I also used to take part

Razor Babies was good fun as I felt I was a free spirit in that band... however, 50ft Woman, at least in the early stages, was something I am most proud of. Anyone who knows me, knows that I’m a control freak (Oh yes - Ed) and I was in charge of what could best be described as the artistic direction of the whole project and it just all fell into place. It still had some elements of the music we played with Razor Babies but I felt it was just more my project.

In the later stages of the band, even the music was based on ideas I had, rather than collaborations... which was amazing as I never thought I was capable of writing complete songs!

Google Tan came out exactly as I heard it in my head! Getting older has changed my musical outlook a lot from when I was younger. I definitely listen to a much broader spectrum of music now. I wouldn’t say I was totally narrow minded when I was younger but there was definitely an element of ‘when you’re into rock, you’re into ROCK’... and that’s it.

I think now, I just like whatever I think sounds good, regardless of where it’s from. A good song is a good song.

As to performing – I still love it just as much as I ever did. I think I’m the slightly more sensible one of the two vocalists in the band (You don’t say! - Ed). However, getting older has allowed me more freedom to perform in the way I want, as I don’t care as much what people think. In days gone by, I used to be so nervous before going on stage, I’d arrive as late as I could and then hide behind stage before going on!

Now, in The Tuesday Club, the band is more relaxed and also, sharing vocal duties takes some of the pressure off. I just love getting up there and having fun. Plus whacking the hell out of a cowbell is therapeutic. Everyone should try it! (More cowbell etc etc. – Ed) Thanks to Neil Stephenson for the picture

F

or those of you who have lives, you may have missed the annual film shindig in London recently. The great and good of Hollywood and wherever our lot come from, gathered to watch Stephen Fry confuse the Americans with smooth wit and light sarcasm.

And the rest of the nation watched, breath baited, to see just who went home with what.

We couldn’t wait for each gold mask to be presented live in front of the nation. OK, not actually live, but ‘as live’.

Unless you happened to take a peak at Twitter or the Bafta website – because, in their infinite wisdom, Bafta published the winners online long before Monsieur Fry spake forth. Quite why you would flog the rights to your own awards show – one beloved by Fry and film fans alike – and then undermine the whole thing by blowing the gaff early doors like a nervous groom on his wedding night is beyond me. I understand the national press have deadlines that might be missed as the BBC coverage ran from 9-11pm, but that’s what embargoed press releases are for.

Give them what they want, but make sure they don’t tell anyone until after Match Of The Day 2 has started. It’s not hard. Even odder was the fact they were tweeting the winners as they were announced on TV. A bit like trying to be surprised by the dress

you’ve received for your birthday while actually wearing the damn thing.

A fact many of us pointed out - but whoever was on Bafta Twitter duty was too busy watching the TV to notice.

The big winner, of course, was Gravity – picking up six gongs including Best British Film (yes, I know, written and directed

by Mexicans and starring Americans...).

Thoroughly deserved, but I’m still puzzled by it being up for Best Original Screenplay when the script was just one sheet of A4 with ‘IT HAPPENS IN SPACE’ written on it.

Kahn Johnson is the editor of the occasionally praised Unsalted Popcorn blog, presents the rarely - heard Unsalted Popcorn podcast and might one day find himself editing a magazine for a national MS charity, which can only end well…

You can read more of Kahn’s reviews at Unsaltedpopcorn.Blogspot.co.uk, or if reading’s not your thing pop over to iTunes and subscribe to the unsaltedpopcorn.blogspot.com

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-unsalted-popcorn-podcast/id714210886?mt=2

LIES, DAMN LIES AND GUITAR PLAYERS: PART 3

“Nobody is cut from a different cloth. I’m not special, you’re not special.

Now go and fucking learn from somebody better than you. “ Lie Number 3: “I’m completely self-taught”.

This is the final, and perhaps the most difficult lie to really explain. This possibly explains why I’ve taken this long to dare write about it. In the long long long long long long run, yes. Yes you are completely self-taught. So was I. So were the greatest musicians in human history, including Mozart and Beethoven. But you need to go the long way around before you can appreciate the truth behind that statement.

You need the years, the experience, and yes... the personal instruction from mentors and teachers who have gone before you.

You need to be taught before you can realise why it is you are selftaught. There is a rich philosophical perspective on this that says, ultimately, that nothing can be taught – only learned. But the depth of that wisdom may be outside the scope of this piece of writing, and I doubt is what most liars really understand when they obnoxiously run their mouths. The upshot is this. People who say they are completely self-taught really mean to say they didn’t go to music college or receive any formal education in the area. This is not the same thing as being self-taught, and players who strongly believe that it is, are more often than not betraying a degree of conceit and insecurity on their part.

Not having a degree in music does not mean you don’t pay for some private lessons here and there when you can afford it; it certainly does not mean you never learn from friends, older brothers or other guitarists who are more proficient. In point of fact, it shouldn’t mean that. You have an obligation as a musician, whether you like/realise it or not, to be the best musician you can possibly be. Be a sponge. Absorb the knowledge of those around you, especially those who are better than you, and pay due reverence to their skills and willingness to even teach you in the first place. Humble yourself. Do this, and you will not go far from your mark.

Once you learn from their experience and fashion for yourself the mindset & attitude of a young apprentice learning a trade, the doors of perception will open and your personal development – not only as a musician but as a human being – will advance in an almost relentlessly unstoppable manner. Soon enough, you will no longer have to humble yourself; once you understand the truth of music, the truth of musicianship, you are no longer ‘doing’ the humbling. You ‘are’ humble – it is no longer artifice.

You are humble because you have, in the act of giving yourself over to your craft, now realised you are in fact an apprentice for life, and have set in train a sequence of events that will have the most beneficial, most glorious consequences for your quest as a musician. Glorious, because once this self-effacing attitude is internalised and you start to experience an accelerated development you will realise it is no longer about your quest as a musician. It is your quest in life. It is who you really are.

Or, you can be the terrible (or at best mid level) player who goes around saying, “I’m completely self-taught”. The implication being that he (and it usually is a ‘he’) is better than others, or better than he seems because did not require the unfair advantages of costly tuition in order to become a player. That may be what he implies, but what others infer is the most thinly veiled kind of weakness or insecurity, cocooned in narcissism.

At the amateur level, especially in the early days and among less experienced players, there is romanticism behind the idea of needing

nobody; a romanticism barely disguising an obscene level of self regard and egotistical thinking, and it is instructive to note that high level musicians are not crippled by that thinking. This is not a coincidence. Kirk Hammett and Steve Vai were taught by Joe Satriani, Orianthi by Steve Vai and Carlos Santana, Slash by Steve Lukather, Matt Heafy by John Petrucci, and countless other well known singers and instrumentalists still have regular coaching sessions – even when at the top of their game. In fact, I would go so far as to argue this is the best time for it, when a musician has the disposable time and income to afford it. It may be worth saying a word for one unfortunate reality in all this.

One-to-one music lessons can appear expensive at £25 per hour (on average), and on this count I completely empathise with kids and younger players out there for whom money is a legitimate issue. But for anybody older or anybody who smokes 20 cigarettes a day, or has the most expensive Sky TV package, or can afford £200 for a football ticket, or can afford to go out and get wasted three nights a week, or can afford two holidays a year, a lack of money is absolutely no excuse if you are a dedicated musician. “I don’t have the money”, for those individuals, really means, “I don’t have the money for that”. And if that’s you, you need to get your priorities straight. Quickly.

When I was starting out I found skilful guitar players in local, unsigned bands that I admired and I went to them personally asking if I could jam with them, or pay them a small amount of money for some advice. If you feel – not think, but know – truly know in your heart that a musician is what you are or must become, then you need to take lessons and duck, dive, or hustle your way into figuring out how to pay for them. We’ve all been there. I don’t care how special or talented you think you are, or how many urban myths you’ve heard about famous guitar players who supposedly taught themselves. Nobody is cut from a different cloth. I’m not special, you’re not special. Now go and fucking learn from somebody better than you.

Thanks to Daxy http://chalkonthesidewalk.wordpress.com/

7

Wasabi’s Welcome to the latest instalment of internet nonsense.

For all fans of 60 something, school uniform wearing, hard drinking Aussies and Geordies I’m truly “Thunderstruck” this month. I love how this classic AC/DC tune http://youtu.be/v2AC41dglnM jump over to cello and flaming bagpipes with equal ease.

http://youtu.be/uT3SBzmDxGk http://youtu.be/K-Op1Mng4oYTremendous

enough of Miley Cyrus and her gusset waving, tongue flapping anodyne pop, but at least her videos are creating an “interesting” selection of tributes.

Wrecking Ball – Chatroulette

http://youtu.be/W6DmHGYy_xk – The Hedgehog himself, Mr Ron Jeremy.

http://youtu.be/W6DmHGYy_xk – Site Safety Issues – College Humor

http://youtu.be/HyJMaUGCBGU

In an act of true one-upmanship, AC/DC might have the cello and bagpipe covered, but Survivor are the masters of the dot matrix printer. The sound of Rocky in a 1980’s office... http://vimeo.com/58200103If anyone thinks they could manage this with a Tuesday Club track, please get in touch. Dr Who meets Queen (now THAT would be an interesting episode!)

http://youtu.be/ZRatNHqdCTQ (Shame it sounds a bit pants) I think we’ve all had

e y E e Th

...in the sky Some say he films The Tuesday Club 24/7 and that he sleeps with one eye open, that he follows AVDBD everywhere, even outside to where the bouncers stand ... Don’t know what we speak of? Fear not, dear reader, for in this The Eye Special, see an EXLCUSIVE rockumentary where The Eye follows Andreas as he loses his voice, The Minx realises she doesn’t know all the words, the band solider on without their leader and after forlornly watching his own band play through a window, Andreas nearly gets refused entry back into his own gig ... filmed in one shot, unedited in a ‘Smack My Bitch Up’ styleee .... A behind the scene, warts and all view of the other side of the New Glamour video. Be warned, it’s painful to watch in some places! http://youtu.be/qFXMyDm3qxE