In the club 018 march 15

Issue 018 MARCH 2015

Welcome

t o ‘ I N T H E C L U b ’ , t he O F F I C I A L T U E S D A Y C L U B I N T E R A C T I V E M A G a z ine - B R O U G H T TO Y O U I N C O N J U N C T I O N w i t h T H E P E R F E C T P O P C O - O P and o ur friends

We’re back!

Like Spring, we have sprung. I’m assuming it’s not raining or snowing when you’re reading this. If so, I apologise for being WRONG. We started the year by getting back into the studio to record some stuff we had knocking about at the end of last year. This is all with the aim of continuing our run of EP releases. You, dear reader, will get to hear these tracks a little later on in the year but - without wanting to give too much away - expect a little bit of a departure from what we’ve been doing of late. Hopefully you’ll like ‘em but of course, if you’re still digging Dolly Dynamite, we’re not going to stop playing that any time soon! Fear not...

Talking about new material, AVDB has set himself The Badly Drawn Boy Challenge, whereby he will write a song a day, all year. So far, he’s keeping up with it, so like Badly, he should have a zillion songs (well, another 365) by the end of the year. Can’t say that they’ll all be awesome... but simply by the law of averages, he’ll probably come up with a couple of gems at least! He’s now glaring at me. I shall stop Anyway, here’s the mag. Take 5, read it... and then maybe leave it in the doctor’s waiting room. Provided your doctors surgery has an ipad for use, that is...

J-Rod. Guitarist Stage Left, and typo.

M A G (NIFICENT)

7 - Pre-ASTER S P E C I A L ! ) . . . Wha t The Tuesday C lu b are s t ic k ing in t heir eardrums !

Andreas Vanderbraindrain: The Fall - Repetition http://youtu.be/gD51AebdppA The Minx: Led Zeppelin - Moby Dick youtube.com/watch?v=r9-42mu1D9Y Wasabi Penis: Desert Sessions - Going to a hanging http://youtu.be/LyNcYglpttM J-Rod: They Might Be Giants - Nanobots youtube.com/watch?v=CSPv8tXISsU Rogerio Marauder: Bill Haley & The Comets - Blue Comet Blues http://youtube.com/watch?v=6RSYK0wgCQs The Beautiful Wolf: Berliner Luft - North Sea Radio Orchestra http://youtu.be/lqRJcoY5TN0 Thanks to: Design @8ecreative, Tiggy Pop. Editor: Reggie Mental. Photography: Neil Stephenson, Jord, AVBD, The Eye, Sarah Martin, Dylan Schwarz Words: Denise Parsons, The Minx, Faye Don’tlikeitupum, Stuart Pidboy, Don Tellumpike, Don T. Panic, Sister Dolly, AVBD, Beautiful Wolf, J-Rodz, Grae J Wall, Roger The Ranter.

Upcoming gigs!

Contents Cover star:

The Tuesday Club

Magnificent 7

2-3

What’s going on in our musical world

Tribute to Terry

4-7

(Club) Foot tappers

8-9

AVBD, J-Rod and The Beautiful Wolf trawl their record collections. Plus this months ‘lost artist’ is The Bodies

Da Minx’s - Upping the Agony...

10

Who’s In the Club

11

She Made Me Do it

12-13

Pop up shop!

14-15

The Chanteuse turns to psychiatry!

Our legendary producer Steve Honest

Will Crewdson’s latest dark pop sensation!

Stuff to buy and stuff do!

Roger The Ranter

The tangent randomings of an aging punk!

50 Shades of Grae

Chapter and verse from St.Albans’ cunningest linguists and friends

The Parson’s Knows

Denise, gives us all the news from Trestle Arts base, St.Albans and it’s environs.

16-17 18-19

20-24

facebook.com/thisisthetuesdayclub @thetuesdayclub1 AVBD - @Vnderbraindrain The Minx - @TCTheMinx R. Marauder - @YTDS Dave Worm - @Roddamiser J-Rod - @JRod_TC www.youtube.com/thisisthetuesdayclub thisisthetuesdayclub.co.uk info@thisisthetuesdayclub.co.uk pinterest.com/thetuesdayclub thetuesdayclub.tmstor.es

The Comeback Tour: More dates tba Fri Apr - Farmers Boy, St.Albans Sat Apr 25 - Green Room, WGC EP 2 Tour: : More dates tba Sat June 25 - Adelphi, Hull EP 3 Tour: More dates tba

Fri Oct 9 - Farmers Boy, St.Albans Fri Oct 23 - PDM, Luton Sat Oct 31 - Trestle Arts, St.Albans

On December 17th, we were devastated by the passing of our ‘Rock’ Terry ‘Super’ Cockell. Following weeks of soul searching we have decide that it is what Tery would have wanted for us to carry on. We have been overwhelmed by the support of his family, friends and to all of you we say a huge thank you.

Over the next few pages we pay tribute to our beloved friend and drummer TB Telski. We love you Supes our lives will never be quite the same again. xxxxxxx

R.I.P

Terry ‘Super’ Cockell 1961 - 2014

barfly with TBTELSKI

By Jordan Thomas

First published October 2014

I

started playing the drums at the age of 12 because I was labelled as ‘thick’ in school, Nigel Marvin (who is one of the world’s top zoologists) was in my class* and was also labelled thick... shows what they knew about dyslexia back then. Anyway, we were sent into the school orchestra; I was given timpani and he was given the cowbell. It was the only thing I got an a-grade at in... beating drums.

So, I decided that I wanted a drum kit, so I embezzled the tuck shop (As you do... Ed.) by selling blackjacks at two for a penny - when they should have been four for a penny - I embezzled each 1 /2 p and bought myself a premier drum kit for fifty quid, which works out to be 10,000 1 /2 penny coins. The school never found out...

I was sixteen.

As luck would have it, the second band I was in (Moonstone), got signed by Polydor. It was the early 80s and we were in with the rock scene and obviously thought we were going to make it big. We toured Europe but our record company decided that the singer (John Payne) was worth more to them than the band and we got shelved in favour of his solo career. I had spent two years of my life doing that, so I was pretty livid.

To keep earning money from music and to avoid getting a proper job, I undertook some session

work. I worked with such people as Tina Marie and Galaxy for roughly fifty quid a session, which wasn’t much when you broke it all down. After that, I got a bit disillusioned with the whole thing so caved and got a proper job and kept my hand in by drumming in covers bands. I also used to rehearse on own a lot and try to learn new stuff inbetween playing in bands. I used to try to learn as many things as possible and it was a habit of mine to spend every Sunday, all afternoon, drumming.

However, one day, I saw an ad in Lemon rock. A band was advertising for a replacement drummer and that band was The Scratch. Rumour had it that they had a mad singer but were all nice guys.

Andy (AKA AVBD these days) sent me a CD of their songs and spent some time taking all the songs apart and scoring each one. I’m a very competitive person so I really wanted that gig and I wanted to make sure that I got it. Also, Andy and I realised we had a lot of friends in common, which really cemented the deal. We realised we could work very well together and even if the Tuesday Club hadn’t happened, we’d have done something together after the Scratch came to its natural end.

As a member of The Tuesday Club, I’m known as the band diplomat. I help the band work by influencing without authority (though people think I get what I want by being hard as nails).

This band is a family to me and I’ll be with it until I can’t be with it any more, for whatever reason.

Finally, even if we didn’t have an awesome string of dates lined up for this Autumn and were simply playing local pub gigs every week and nothing else, I would still love playing with them. It’s quite simply.... fun. * It was the same school ... ‘Sir Francis Bacon’ as AVBD incidentally too, but many years later ;-) !

B U L C Foot tappers

‘COS the Platters still matter.. .

Dear Club fans, welcome to AVBD and The Beautiful Wolf’s monthly round up of the new, the old, the signed, the unsigned and the inspirational, from our very own musical old curiosity shop, where we pick and podcast 10( ish) tracks that turn us on... with a little help from J-Rod! Here’s a selection of the featured tracks, but you’ll have to listen to find out more :-)

This month’s featured track from The Tuesday Club, is - One Idea and a lonely Voice, the only song intro’d by Terry and soon to be featured on an EP, so keep um peeled down at the thetcshop.com Flowers of Romance PIL in his 1981 self gradually feeling his way into the joys of discovery, this track on top of the pops lead AVBD into a wonderous love affair with the album of the same name. A crazy, obscure mish mash of chants, beats and rants, it still features in his top 10 of all time! youtu.be/OLMlHe2CslY Lawman Girl Band - this track and band featured once last

year after Wasabi and AVBD witnessed the bands genius at The Horn in St.Albans, now signed to Rough Trade and sure to make a big splash, we just wanted to remind you to download this quick from their bandcamp, before you have to pay for it! (The track we actually feature is You’re a Dog from their France 98 ep, but hell, check out all their stuff, it’s great! youtu.be/nqxe3NZKYL0 Zerox Adam and the Antz Purely ‘cos we are covering it... no that’s a lie, it’s also cos it’s fantastic... it brings back a lot of great memories of last years ‘My Consciousness Tour’ not least our memorable night at the last Antlib. youtu.be/iZzlumMjWdE All in All - Joyce Simms here’s an off the wall one in terms

of our usual stylee, but a hint possibly to future TC dalliance and experience... From 1987’s fantastic Come into my life Album. youtu.be/HB_sV9m65rg She Made Me do it - Oh Boy! As you’ll all be aware, we are big fans of Mr.Crewdson. In this, his latest project, he teams up with the exotic Shaheena Dax for some über chic guitar, robotica electronica. Taken from the ‘Garbo’s Pool’ EP - Oh Boy also features on the duos debut album, available now at shemademedoit.bandcamp.com youtu.be/kMVykWvPMLw The Zipheads - She just don’t seem to care Just about to embark on another Scandinavian tour this hep cat trio of St.Albans legends have just released

m

SPECIAL REQUEST SPOT! T S I T

R A T LOS

of the month!

This months lost artist is ...

The Bodies

this, their debut 7” on gorgeous green vinyl and a be-bopa-beauty it is too, there’s many great live vids of the band on youtube, but just for you, here’s a widescreen cinematic version. I’ll have a Krombacher and a packet of chorizo with it too please Ray! youtu.be/rJTosXpGUNg We hope you enjoy this months podcast, don’t forget you can subscribe to them and listen again on our channel at

mixcloud.com/thisisTheTuesdayClub

To find out more about these and other tracks on our show download your FREE podcast...

click

here

1978-1979

Based originally in the Harpenden area (Posh-Punk) The Bodies brought ElectroPunk to St.Albans with surreal dark songs and densely structured music that mixed Bowie and metal. Their line-up comprised Mark ‘Machines’ Adams (voice and synth), Nick ‘Tanz’ Tansley (guitar), Tony Cobley (drums) and Leon Thompson (bass).

Their first single ‘Art Nouveau’ (Waldo’s Records HS 007) was a favourite on John Peel’s BBC show and was included on the recent John Peel box set. He invited them to record a ‘Peel Session’ which took place at the BBC’s studios in Maida Vale. Again Waldo’s Records pushed the boat out with no less than 5 sleeve variations. A follow-up, ‘Subtraction’ was recorded but remained unissued although a sleeve was prepared and a catalogue number (HS 015) allocated.

The group disbanded around 1980 although Mark and Leon still work together on music projects.

Thanks one more to

satellitestalbans.co.uk/bands/bodiesfulltext.htm#bodies for the er... body of text here :-)

DAMinx It’s not always easy to know who you are talking to at Tuesday Club gig. Looking for the cowbell

The Minx Agony Column In the early days of this mag, we did crazy things like let Minx loose with a problem page. We are thinking of bringing it back. More fool us. This is what happened the first time, plus a new one we had in this week… if you have a problem for The Minx, let us know and we’ll answer it in subsequent issues!

Dear The Minx

I know you are an agony aunt and not a gardening column but I’ve just dug my spring beds and need to know what to put in.

Syd, Chippenham Syd, do not mention Putin to me. Is evil.

Dear The Minx

Dear The Minx

Gavin, Essex A mole? Is this like a meerkat? Vot a strange thing to have in strange place. Is it like Pet Shop Boys? I think you are a little

Janice, Dulwich Dear Janice, divorce husband immediately. Unless they of slipper

I have a mole in an unusual place. Should I get it removed?

strange, no? But if the hair tickle you, have a vodka.

Dear The Minx

My husband is obsessed with his local football team.

He live eats and breathes Wolves. It’s driving me mad, what should I do?

Karen, Wolverhampton I too am obsessed with wolves. They are very sexy creatures. I haff Alsatians which I am breeding back to wolves. You should be proud your husband like such noble animals. And do not drive mad, is dangerous.

Dear The Minx

I get very embarrassed to be naked around my husband. He has only seen me bare once, on our wedding night. How can I get over my shyness?

Danielle, Wartham on Sea I like bears. They are very sexy animals. Along with wolves. (Put satin sheet on sofa. Take clothes off. Lie on sofa. Watch naughty film of Andrew Blake. Haff no need of husband.)

My husband bought me some Uggs fro Christmas, what should I do.? consistency, then depend if he bought for indoor/outdoor use.

Need to check. Call emergency meeting tonight and lock door until he confess true nature.

Dear The Minx

I love to go camping, where do you recommend?

Dennis, Birmingham Dennis, there are many nice club like this. Rogerio Marauder also know of many club like this. Try Madame Jo Jo. Though is close now due to uproaring things happen and council get very cross.

If you would like to ask The Minx for advice (God help you because she won’t) let us know on our Facebook or email http://qooh.me/ TCTheMinx with the subject “The Minx, please help me!”.

In the club with Steve Honest

(record producer, tv producer, musician, vegan, raconteur)

We begin 2015’s In the Clubings with a little introduction to our fabulous, uncompromisingly honest producer and friend. The Legendary Steve, who we’ve been working with since day one.

Some would say he is the 8th Beatle?!?

Hackney Road Studios

worst Must say I like the Barbican, the Garage, sound bloke there is a the is n ng this interview, ed CUNT, ruins every show I’ve bee est 1) We are sitting in the cyber pub doi ntr uni nt to drink? and it’s our round. What do you wa to there. dricks gin, a film, what film Gin Bloody Mary , made with Hen 7) If you could be any character in and who would it be? and celary Salt.

b.

Hi Steve and welcome to In the Clu

rd/watched that 2) What was the last thing you hea e about it? was so good you had to tell someon

azing cast The Film August Osage County, am , just a playing an amazing script, no CGI good solid story.

3) Is Punk rock dead or alive?

tional Punk Rock cant be Killed by conven weapons. ernet help or 4) In terms of new bands is the Int hinderance?

arn new It’s a bit of both, we have to le work to a ways to market and propogate our far wider audiance .

5) If Football is the current rock’n’roll, what will be next? Do you think a ‘heyday’ will ever return to music.

h. Ive Clockwork Orange , Alexander Dularc es, its my Viewed this film over 3000 tim all time Fav. at club do you 8) You are now In The Club, but wh actually wish it was?

es in the CBGB s I played there many tim for over 80s, Used to live around the corner days off it a year and hung out there on my at place was past its best, but it was a gre to hang out. rock’n’ roll band.

9) Who’d be in your 4 piece fantasy Guitar, Bass, Drums and Vocals

Bonham, Ry cooder, James Jamerson, John Captin Beefheart. you that you wish 10) What question haven’t we asked we had?

do?

We can’t do a Cheque, will cash

.london Football? no Veganism facebook.com/rock.of is the new Rock and @steve_honest Roll.

6) What’s the best venue you’ve played/been too in the last year?

uary 23rd for the Thanks loads Steve, see you on Jan next EP recording session mate

This month we have a special feature for one of our favourite current artists, the legendary Will Crewdson, who all fans of Adam Ant will know and who’s actually in more bands than AVBD has had side projects with The Beautiful Wolf!

She Made Me Do It, release their hotly anticipated debut album Endless Dreamstate will be released on March the 16th, 2015 on their own Catranstic label with distribution through Cargo.

Hear a sneaky preview in this months Club Foot Podcast.

She Made Me Do It are a 2

piece band featuring Shaheena Dax (Rachel Stamp) on vocals and keyboards and Will Crewdson (Adam Ant, Rachel Stamp, Scant Regard, Sigue Sigue Sputnik Electronic, Flesh for Lulu, Johnette Napolitano) on guitars, vocals and keyboards.

They are quickly getting a name for themselves for their powerful and energetic live shows which show off perfectly their catchy but dark new wave styled songs.

www.SheMMDI.com

Endless Dreamstate

“Spectral and nocturnal and creepily brilliant in sex music kinda way�

- John Robb, Louder than War

C! I US M EW N E M SO TH I W 15 20 TO ‘SPRING’ IN r, fo p po t ec rf Pe ’s Cd d an ’s p3 There’s vinyl, m

te, fa ol ho sc g, n i d ed w y, ar rs ve i n Easter, birthday, an ! ay he el d T ’t n Do ! as m y st ri a Ch , d ot bo car Tues xt e n u o , CD y l y n i See V ite h W Album oad! l n w o d 3 and MPIn cluding al LIVE FAVES!!

l the hits! and

Dolly Dynamite Ain’t Got No Class Money Means Nothing Nanananana She Splayed My Teeth New Regime (Slow Swing) Replication and Montage All You Do Is Wow New Glamour

Wish My Slate Was Cleaner

Vinyl As a Manifesto

Brand A e r Singl u o live m a + l g G n o s w Ne f the o n Availo . i e s r e m v i t new re your o f with e b , D C d l O d e fave enhanc oad! d l l o n G w o d n o able nd MP3 a o e d i v special

My Consciousness EP + Harsh Tales of Ancient News an d Something Major. Available on Silver and MP3 download! EP 1 of a set of 4!

BUY THEM ALL HERE...

www.thetcshop.com

The tangent randomings

of an aging grumpy punk no 2

Stop letting music get in the way of making music!

There is a possibility that what you are about to read may drop a fluffy kitten bomb amongst the po faced pigeons and ruffle a few feathers but I hope it makes some sort of sense.

I have a T-shirt, fridge magnet, Facebook type slogan I’d like to fling out to the reader, like a sopping dish cloth, drenched in the bitter tears of a dissenter at his execution. It’s part furrow browed grumble and part deploring cry to some musicians to adopt this mantra.

“I DO NOT SEEK FULFILMENT THROUGH COMPLEX CHORD SEQUENCES” There is a trend, I have recently observed, that many young people doing music are becoming so wrapped up in the pursuit of wanting to be taken seriously as musicians, when writing and performing, all they seem to be doing is showing off just what a remarkable repertoire of technical trickery and musiciany jiggery pokery they have up their musical sleevies, combined with a compulsion to demonstrate how befuddling they can construe their compositions, as if compensating for something lacking in their lives.

Not just young musicians. Even some mature folk, who have been bashing it out for years, still feel compelled to tell their tune, play their story via some convoluted route, which avoids expressing the real heart of what they are trying to say.

It’s understandable. It’s like wanting to be loved. It’s a desire to be accepted, a longing to be respected, a craving to be acclaimed but surely just wanting to be loved as a musician for being a musician, rather than being a song-writer or performer or a creative, using music as a medium for expression and passion, isn’t the full deal?

Don’t get me wrong. I bloody love musicianship. I love musicians of all abilities. Without “proper”, “serious” musicians, nothing would get done. My fave Beethoven is the 9th (probs coz they sing in it and he did have the best orchestra in Germany at the time. If only George Martin got them into Abbey Road). I love that Bach bloke because of the tunes. My fave Jazz git-box player; Django Reinhardt (2 and a half burnt fingers and still blows many jazz guitarist out da water), my fave prog jazz numpties of the 70s are Soft Machine. My top and most, (and I emphasise, most) underrated rock / Jazz guitarist, Jan Akkerman of Focus. Lots of Jazz in this line up, but jazz, along with classical, is where you get top technical musicianship. I will level it out by saying one of my all time, top, rock drummers is the “Great” Paul Thompson of Roxy Music! Check out the first 2 Roxy albums to appreciate just what a godsend Thompson was to the effete, fop Ferry! (More about this bunch later…) And, as a kid, I marvelled at the fact that Roy Wood of Wizzard, on disc, played all the instruments himself!

However! I fear that we are all becoming a teeny bit conservative in our approach to how music should be done or made.

No one’s suggesting musicians should not aspire to be the best they can, if that’s what they choose. In fact, I’d say the more proficient a musician you are, the more responsibility rests with you to use your talents wisely!

We all admire and acknowledge talent where it’s due but, if all we are doing is admiring technical ability for its own sake, isn’t that the tail wagging the dog? - now chasing the kitten, amongst the pigeons.

Anyway, music isn’t just for musicians to make. Painting isn’t just for “artists” to paint. Poetry isn’t just for clever wordsmiths to write… We all know this but I’m getting a creeping feeling that Rock and Pop is, once again, becoming reclaimed by those who think it right that only “musicians” should be doing it!

I will go out on a very young sapling, bendy twiggy, slim branchette of a limb here and say: Personally, I think “Rock n’ Roll” has very little to do with “music” (apart from the dumb-fuck obvious fact that it is music). I think Rock n’ roll is something else! I will also go so far as to say that, much of the time, being an accomplished, slick musician can get right in the fucking way of creating great rock n’ roll.

Of course there are gazillions of examples where being a cracking musician doesn’t get in the way of rocking out. Any member of Led Zepplin! A Red Hot Chili Pepper or two. Any one of the many US nu metal bands. Fill in your own preferences here… Just check Youtube to see a plethora of 12 year old mid-west kids of America shred their axes better than any established guitar heroes of the 70s. The mighty Brian Setzer, with The Stray Cats or his phenomenal solo stuff. Or closer to home, listen to Ray Water’s scorching guitar work of St. Albans very own Zipheads, to demonstrate how being an

accomplished guitarist can only maximise the contribution to a fundamental rock n’ roll (literally) set up.

But having limited musical ability can also force you to think harder, think smarter and be more creative with the little you have. In many cases, that can result in some exceptional, awesome, memorable forces of noise.

Electronic experimentalists, Cabaret Voltaire and The Fall, both fall into this category. The Subway Sect created a minimalist, blistering, metal-work scree of a sound with their 3 and a half chords, that can still sends a shiver up ya spine, even now. The first 3 Wire albums are a testament to artistic, creative triumph over musicianship.

Of course I’m citing punk bands now because that was a big part of the ethos at the time. Many of us are familiar with the famous Sniffin’ Glue fanzine cover. As powerful a manifesto as any Clash slogan or Lydon rant!

And Lemmy’s quote on forming Motorhead : “We may only know 3 chords but we play them better than anyone else”.

Even prior to the anti-musician stance of Punk there was, for example, the experimental phenomenon of Krautrock, from the very excellent musicianship of Can, through the surreal eccentricities of Faust, to the bare naked, stripped down, minimalist, repetitive grooves of Neu. There was the aforementioned Roxy Music. Six founding members, of which, only three were accomplished musicians. Paul Thompson, the drummer. Original bass player, Graham Simpson and guitarist, Phil Manzanera.

Sax, oboe and keys player Andy Mackay was still learning his way around his instruments in front of live audiences.

Simpson had taught Ferry a few basic piano chords and as for Brian Eno… I’m not sure, to this day, he can play an instrument in the conventional sense!

Some may know this distant fact that Eno was a member of the infamous Portsmouth Sinfonia. A classical orchestra born out of the Pompey Art School in 1970. Quote from someone: “The Sinfonia had an unusual entrance requirement, in that players had to either be non-musicians, or if a musician, play an instrument that was entirely new to them.”

See more here... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portsmouth_Sinfonia It was Roxy Music’s “conceptual” approach to playing; the musical conflict between the musicians and the nonmusicians in the band, that defined them and created some of the most exciting, avant-garde sounds of the time. Of course they managed to fuck it all up royally with the 80s incarnation, as they dripped into a mist of vapid Yuppie fodder but - ho hum…

People don’t appreciate how much Roxy Music were resented at the time, by many of their contemporaries.

Despised by those ensembles who, by the early 70s, really were laying down the law that you had NO business being in the music business unless you’d been to the Conservatoire or the Guildhall. Certain members of Genesis, Yes, ELP… You know the ones…

The other day, as an experiment to myself, I tried listening to Tarkus, by Emerson Lake and Palmer. Maybe I just don’t have a refined, sophisticated enough palate or appreciation

of “real” music but I couldn’t get through it. I found it unlistenable!

Emerson’s endless, irritating, sodding staccato Hammond organ, arpeggioing up and down and those ridiculous, overblown, aimless arrangements and pointless time changes - and Palmer’s drum solos. Ah! Right there! Drum solos! A point in case.

The only reason drummers do drum solos is to show off what brilliant drummers they are. They are not interested in communicating. They are wanking. They are not even playing to get you dancing. They are putting up a wall between them, the musician to be worshipped, and the poor audience / listener, who has to suffer their indulgence.

Likewise, so many histrionic guitar solos that break out of nowhere, outstay their welcome, just to demonstrate just how many notes the player can play in a short space of time, like practicing their scales on sulphate. It’s showing off to the point where it becomes an almost laughable novelty trick. Why not go the totus porkus and noodle away with a lit firework up your arse and be done with it?

It’s as if, overnight, the musicians of the 70s all became ashamed of rock n’ roll and woke up with a craving to be respected as classically trained musicians - which a lot of them were. My simple thinking on that is, sod off then and be a respected classical musician. Get the fuck off the rock n’ roll cloud and stop cluttering up the universe with your indulgent twaddle. Because I’m tolerant like that…

Many, many Jazz players fall foul of this too. Why should I care how fast and furious you can negotiate your scales, in whatever configuration, on whatever instrument, if you have shut us out of the experience and you are simply showing off? How many sports fans want to watch their favourite athletes training down the gym?

The counter argument to this might be that if you can’t play your chosen instrument properly, or you can’t sing, or you aren’t a musician, then what you are doing is fraudulent.

I would level the same accusation at any 22 minute piece of indulgence, produced by Yes or Genesis, back in the day.

I’d rather stick on Wire’s “Chairs Missing” album and listen to non-musicians turning out some of the most considered, clever, refined, artfully conceived rock ever committed to vinyl, because they did the best with the little they had, rather than a display of pseudo - sophisticated pretention, abusing the abundance they had.

What I think I’m trying to say, to all music makers out there is, think about what it is you are trying to say; just what it is you want to convey through your writing and playing.

Make communication and connecting with your listener your priority before you steam into a display of showy offy musicianship at the expense of your craft or your audience.

To quote the quite wonderful and beautifully billy bally bonkers, Julian Cope: Don’t write to impress. Write to touch.”

“I DO NOT SEEK FULFILMENT THROUGH COMPLEX CHORD SEQUENCES”.

And repeat after me:

50

shades...

By Grae J. Wall of The Trailer Trash Orchestra, Los Chicos Muertos and webmeister at The Poetry Underground facebook.com/groups/231169533733340 Many think that us poets spend our lives wallowing in absinthe and daffodils mumbling at imagined demons through our syphilitic madness – and all that is of course true. It is also true that all manner of emotion, wit, critique, reflection and downright silliness can be found in the pantheon of poetics and that it continues to draw protagonists from all walks of life’s great macramé. Whilst poetry is not the new rock ‘n’ roll it can justifiably be championed as the old one. From Adam scrawling “There was a young woman called Eve..” on to the trunk of an apple tree through to the Youtube postings of Kate Tempest humanoids have always been drawn to the playful possibilities of language and I suspect always will. T’was my dear mother – a published poet herself – who first ignited my passion for verse and that love has only blossomed with age and each discovery of a new (or old) voice that could add illumination to plight and purpose through a well honed turn of phrase. A while back I started a little Facebook group called The Poetry Underground where folks regularly make me giggle or well up and each new posting is pored over with eager ponderance. Indeed the page has elicited such a

variety of excellent writing that I sometimes awake with an immediate wonder at what gem may have been added in my absence.

Writing this as I am in early February 2015 it would be amiss of me not to mention the sad passing of America’s most purchased poet the great Rod McKuen (April 29, 1933 – January 29, 2015). I’ve picked up many of Rod’s books over the years (usually from charity shops) and each has warranted return browsing as he truly was the president of the world weary everyman. The album of song-poems that he wrote for Frank Sinatra, A Man Alone, stands as an impeccable late night bourbon soaked document of the maudlin and the melancholy and should be instantly sought out should your life not have been touched by its amber-blue glow as yet. Rod also successfully brought the works of Jacques Brel to the attention of a huge English speaking audience through his translations and adaptations for which we should all be grateful.

So returning to the point in hand, for this issue’s offerings I give you two very different poems both from regular contributors to The Poetry Underground. The first is from Ed Rowe whose blog in verse can be found at:

livesintheirhands.wordpress.com

The Poetry Underground

The second is from an old friend Neal Zetter.

Neal and I performed on the same stages back in the fourteenth century but had lost touch for some years until reunited through the warm magic of Facebook. You can find out all about Neal at cccpworkshops.co.uk/about-neal-zetter.html

Until next time, Je suis Charlie Baudelaire!

Grae J.

r e p m u J y a Sund r Sunday jumpe Check out my ttle number Such a nifty li cucumber Cooler than a rent it asunder Don’t you dare Kind of casual jumper ave a Sunday h ’ll an m e gl n Every si eacocks in 1995 Bought from P alive tty and barely Now ageing, ta contests in any fashion Not going to w rs my vest y head and cove m er ov s ip sl It and chest gly to my back st of all Clinging lovin othing I like be cl d te it kn ty at What’s the n nerals? ould save for fu sh I y sa y an That m mper My Sunday ju the arms With patches on o hes on them to That have patc holes Three darned n vindaloo Stains of chicke Never ironed Full of creases h it e wants to was Though my wif ase it I refuse to rele in the bin d thin cle it or put it cy re to d rn and worn an ee n to o ’s N it e er h w t ly transparen the tin Though virtual what it says on s oe d t bu d re It’s knacke wear The perfect slob I couldn’t care the week when For the day of mper My Sunday ju urday Monday to Sat so smart You’ll find me ressed up Scrubbed up, d of art A living work abbath arrives But when the S easure It’s my guilty pl a wooly top Being clad in eather than British w Looking worse d seams With Sellotape it together Barley holding This furry pal in a sale Bought cheap y date Pass it’s sell-b than stale Growing staler ts and beer ttes, toilets, ca re ga ore years ci of ls el Sm r at least ten m fo s es n si bu e do th Yet it can still ant to hear d word that I w ba a ot n s e’ er Th day jumper About my Sun

TWELVE THE DEA D Imagine an iceber g disinte beneath grating the wate rline, ero into chao ding s, or han d s in sudd colliding en darkn as they fl ess ail at spa where on ce ce there w as solidi Imagine ty, grip. things in crementa the sick i lly starti n queues ng to slid outside d the NHS e, a r k surgeri they relie es, d on star Imagine ting to im breaking plode. a promis mortgag e to the d ing the fu ead, ture to p financier lease you s with th r friends eir unrea disembod , l r e ach, ied, state l ess, imag What bin inary. ds us lies in all ou invisible r hearts hands tr – y to tear Things m us apart ust be re . ckoned, w but what ithout qu do we va estion, lue: truth or the icy , compas fingers o sion f hungry ghosts?

The

s n o s r a P Knows

By Denise Parsons – Music Promoter – ‘The Live Music Project’ Trestle Arts Base, St.Albans

THIS MONTH’S TOP BANDS, ARTISTS and EVENTS! Hello March! Is Spring on the way do we think?

Little mag I have missed you ,but not as much as I miss our Super … If I say anymore I will only blub so #Strong #Focus & #TTC forever is all I need to say.

The Live Music Project started back on 31st January at Trestle Arts Base with yet another marvellous line up of local original artists!

Don’t forget the last Saturday of every month so that means another one due 28th of March.

And talking of ‘due’ The Live Music Project has given birth to yet another fantastic local music event!! The Live Music Project – Acoustic Café Sessions. Launched on 15th Feb with live acoustic music in our Gallery Café on a Sunday afternoon! Family friendly too so you can bring the kids and listen to local music. Who thinks of these things?? #Genius. And not forgetting my weekly radio show on Radio Verulam Thursdays 7pm radioverulam.com or 92.6FM but what I really want to know is… have you been listening live or are you one of the ummm hundreds (yes my parsons nose is growing) that listen again online or on my soundcloud page?

https://soundcloud.com/denise-parsons-1

Well I will have you know that I have listeners in US of A and Hong Kong !! Amazing the reach of t’internet. Anyway I would love to hear what you

think as it has been the most terrifying thing I have ever done but so much fun and so addictive! I just wanna be on those air waves all the time now so watch out!!

Last year saw some very worthwhile fundraising events using local music for The Crescent which not only were great fun but such a good cause. I love that combination of charity & music! World Aids events included the Stand Tall get Snapped exhibition in The Abbey in St Albans where I got to put on acoustic music as well!! Hugely proud to have had Nick Stephenson & Emma McGrath playing live and boy the acoustics were stunning! We also had a charity market cabin & a whole day of busking in the freezing cold! We raised £1500 as well so thank you if you came along and supported us! And especially thanks to all the local musicians that came out and played and to The Boot for providing the marquee. We will be doing it all again but in the summer sun this time.

So for 2015 I am going to continue my mission to promote local original music wherever and whenever I can. If you want to join in the fun then get along to The Live Music Project at Trestle Arts Base & tune in to The Parsons Knows Local Music Thursdays at 7pm on radioverulam.com (shameless plugs!) and off course I will be getting along to as many Tuesday Club gigs as humanly possible.. and plugging the hell out of ‘em on the airwaves... you have been warned...

28 Holley Road, London, W3 7TS

Tel: + 44 (0) 7934 782687

funkymolepr@sensorypulse.co.uk

PRESS RELEASE Contact: Kath Quinn funkymolepr@sensorypulse.co.uk 07934 782687 7th November 2014 For Immediate Release

TWO THOUSAND MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC BID TO REACH CHARTS TO SAVE SIX YEAR OLD Two thousand voices from across the UK are bidding for the Top 40 in a desperate attempt to find a blood stem cell donor for a little girl for whom time is running out. Six-year old Emma Whittaker, from Buckinghamshire, suffers from the rare genetic condition Fanconi Anaemia and needs to find a donor by March to save her life.

Now three new artists who’ve been championed by BBC Radio have joined forces with 2000 voices recorded across the UK during 2014, to release a charity single to promote Emma’s donor search. The song, ‘The Rest Of Time’, written and produced by alternative folk duo The Portraits who performed at 2014’s Glastonbury Festival, will raise funds for the charity Delete Blood Cancer, whilst appealing to the general public to sign up to the bone marrow donors register.

The Portraits’ singer Lorraine Reilly Millington said “We wanted to create a huge national choir by layering the voices of different crowds we played to and every person that has sung will be credited on the single. There are enough people with an interest in its success that reaching the charts is really achievable, and this would make a huge noise for Emma and everyone else searching for a donor!”

The track will also feature acoustic duo Ethemia, regulars on Gaby Roslin’s BBC Radio London show, and Minnie Birch, selected for airplay by Huw Stephens on BBC Radio 1.

The song’s upbeat sound, Lorraine explained, is a testament to the positivity of the public: “We’ve had such an amazing reaction from real people as we’ve recorded them. The UK has sung its heart out for one little girl, from Lancaster to Leighton Buzzard, Cornwall to Camden. The results are stunning and the song has a huge momentum behind it. Next stop, the charts!” www.theportraitsmusic.com www.facebook.com/theportraitsmusic ### Notes to editor ‘The Rest Of Time’ will be released through Sensory Pulse records as a download single on 28th December 2014 and will be available from iTunes, Amazon and other retailers. Single artwork: http://goo.gl/EfUUVK Song preview: http://www.therestoftime.com To obtain an advanced copy, contact Kath on 07934 782687 funkymolepr@sensorypulse.co.uk Emma Whittaker’s family have promoted the #pantsonyourhead twitter campaign where celebrities upload selfies wearing their pants on their head to attract attention to her cause. Facebook: http://goo.gl/ttIrdn Twitter: @match4emma BBC News: http://goo.gl/X7ctll ITV News: http://goo.gl/KNT6XR Hi resolution royalty-free photo of Emma: http://goo.gl/h2p6ab The Portraits were formed in 2005 by husband and wife Lorraine and Jeremy Millington, from Galway and Bristol respectively.

The duo were crowned Best International Artist 2011 by U.S. station Radio Crystal Blue and they played nd at Glastonbury Festival in 2011, 2013 and 2014. Their last album ‘Life In Sepia’, was released on CD and download formats on 2 December, 2013 with the song, Malala, a tribute to the Pakistani schoolgirl, played by Tom Robinson on BBC 6 Music. Hi resolution royalty-free photo of The Portraits http://goo.gl/lXZAOf or on request. Pdf of this press release here: http://goo.gl/MGMSMt A bilingual London primary school, Ecole Française Jacques Prévert, provided the nearly 300 children’s’ singing voices on ‘The Rest Of Time’.

From Delete Blood Cancer: Register as a blood stem cell donor and you could save a life. All it takes is a simple swab of the inside of your cheek and 15 minutes of your time. If you are in general good health, between the ages of 18-55 you can become a potential blood stem cell donor and pre-registration is possible from the age of 17. We’re not stopping until we find a matching donor for every person in need. Register at http://www.deletebloodcancer.org.uk

Don’t cry over the past, it’s gone Don’t stress about the future, it hasn’t arrived Do your best to live in the I will get back to my usual band recommendations next month NOW and make it beautiful.. but for this month to begin the year off right I want to tell you charity single that’s just been released and why you Thankabout you &aGoodnight! should spend 79p to help. The Portraits a local indie folk duo have been around the country recording 2000 voices for their bid to help young Emma Whittaker, producing the single ‘Rest of Time’ featuring Ethemia & the lovely Minnie Birch.

It’s a great tune and even better cause so here’s the press release and some handy links…. so go on start off your New Year by helping a little girl who needs you. The Portraits are playing for The Live Music Project on 31st January so please come along.

“Don’t cry over the past, it’s gone Don’t stress about the future, it hasn’t arrived Do your best to live in the NOW and make it beautiful.”

Thank you & Goodnight!

Trestle Arts Base, Russet Drive, St.Albans, AL4 OJQ, 01727 850950 e: production@trestle.org.uk, www.trestle.org.uk @trestletheatre facebook.com/thisisthetuesdayclub @thetuesdayclub1 AVBD - @Vnderbraindrain The Minx - @TCTheMinx R. Marauder - @YTDS Dave Worm - @Roddamiser J-Rod - @JRod_TC Trestlewww.youtube.com/thisisthetuesdayclub Arts Base, Russet Drive, St.Albans, AL4 thisisthetuesdayclub.co.uk OJQ, 01727 850950 e: production@trestle.org.uk, info@thisisthetuesdayclub.co.uk www.trestle.org.uk @trestletheatre pinterest.com/thetuesdayclub thetuesdayclub.tmstor.es

AND FINALLY....

The Tuesday Club has a vacancy for someone behind our kit. Being that we aren’t your conventional artistes we’ve decided to hold a ‘try before you try’ viewing session at The Farmers Boy in St.Albans on Friday April 3rd.

We will be playing a double set with our mate Martin standing in on drums while we search for a more permanent member.

Basically, if you’re a dedicated drummer, who loves playing and recording original music, who can commit to regular weekly rehearsals, isn’t hung up on getting paid (we put pretty much all we earn back into the band to fund our recording, releases and travel) and is up for a good laugh with likeminded people, we’d really like to buy you a drink, before, during or after the show and if we like you, maybe all three! x