Nucleus vol 2, no 1 by Nucleus

EDITORS

Bridgette Glover Alana Young Jessica Kelley

COVER ART Alana Young

Contents Volume 2, Issue 1, February 2014 3 - Editorial 3 - UNESA President’s Report 4 - Letters to the Editor 5 - Orientation

CONTRIBUTRS Jade Hamilton Jessie Wilcox Nathan Hammond Lucy Napthali Chloe Delaney Kathryn Lambert Julie Shearer Raelene Hunt Sithara Ralapanawe Wen Lie Louise Young Hoi Sin Ashley Pianca Monica Fortunaso Lauren Harrington Alana Young Kate Wood Elias Wilson Jeremy Stibbard Judd Newton

6 - News 8 - Clubs and Societies 9 - How to be an External 9 - What’s Happenin’ Hot Stuff? 10 - Graduate Profile: Nathan Hammond 11 - What I Wish I’d Known as a Fresher 12 - Unit Profile: THEA234 — Speaking in Public 14 - Dare to Begin 15 - Zoology 16 - UNE Campus Map 18 - New Year: Horse Style 19 - A Brief History of the Science of (Man-Made) Climate Change 20 - Welcome to the New Year Hoi Sin: How to Make a Tool 22 - (College) Recipe: Peanut Caramel Popcorn; Chocolate Coconut Balls 23 - The UNE International Student Writing Prize

IN-OFFICE COFEE COUNT 28

24 - New Beginnings 25 - Album Review: The Jezabels — The Brink 26 - The Adventures of Arabella Henderson — Episode 3: A Waste of Time 27 - Introducing Madam Adam — Nucleus’ very own psychic! 28 - Words with Judd

Visit www.nucleus.org.au Or write to us at editors@nucleus.org.au Come and see us at the office in the Union Courtyard, across from Campus Essentials. We’re always happy to get new writers and artists on board, so send us an email for more information, or send us some of your work if you have it ready! We look forward to hearing from you!

DISCLAIMER The opinions expressed in this publication do not necessarily reflect those of the staff of Nucleus or UNESA. If you have an issue with an item published in the paper, write a letter and we will be glad to print it. All contributions must include name and contact details. Ensure that all contributions contain nothing that may be considered sexist, racist, discriminatory, violence provoking, or plagiarised. We assume our readers can tolerate a degree of satire and the odd swear word, but anything containing unnecessary profanity will not be published. Publication is always at the discretion of the editors. All content is published under the Creative Commons By 3.0 license. Refer to website for license information.

EDITORIAL H

ey there readers, and welcome to 2014 and the second year of (the reborn) Nucleus!

By the time you’re reading this, we will have been a part of Nucleus for about four and a half months, and so far, it has been the bomb-diggity! Compiling our first issue has been a mixture of relaxation, panic, chocolate, coffee, pimples, Google hangouts, stressful people, beautiful people, chocolate, witty office banter, and chocolate…and it has been the best. We ask you to please make yourself a cup of tea or coffee, remove your bra/ boxers and enjoy what we and our incredible contributors have to offer. Inside our Beginnings edition we have the most exclusive tips on how to survive as a fresher, both on campus and externally. We also have the best advice from a graduate, to remind you why the hell you are here. February’s Nucleus both follows and breaks tradition, with the classic College Recipe coming back to reclaim those love handles you got rid of for your beach body, and Hoi Sin returning to put his two cents in about a world without tools. Check out our new unit profile, as well as the fabulous horoscropes from Madame Adam, who thought that Nucleus needed a little extra glitter (don’t forget to check out her predictions for Jim Barber’s future after he leaves UNE!). One of our very own listened to the new album by The Jezebels on repeat and decided she’d better write about it, plus we learn something new about the colourful tradition that is the Chinese New Year! Nucleus is about giving the students a voice, but the thing is (strangely enough) we can’t read minds. If you want to be heard, i.e printed, you have to give it to us…and we know you want to…Nucleus needs writers, artists, journalists, photographers, gossipers, complainers, and, well you get the idea. Our details are on the page before this one, so use your detective skills and track us down. And for all you on-campus students, it is as simple as coming into the office. We don’t bite and we’re really cute, so you can’t lose. There is heaps of awesomeness in this edition, so please enjoy. Until March, Alana, Bridgette and Jessie P.S. Please enjoy this totally not-awkward or embarrassing photo of us all. P.P.S. Obviously you have very sexy editors.

New Year, New Hope

he energy that comes as UNE welcomes a new cohort of students is refreshing. The passion that comes from people pursuing their aspirations is infectious. And, on behalf of returning students, welcome to UNE. If the new students will indulge me, a piece of advice if you have any query is ‘just ask’ and remember that while study is important, university is so much more.

Vice-Chancellor Jim Barber’s retirement is not going to solve the cultural problems amongst the administration at this university. The endemic toxic culture of ‘shooting the messenger’ that I have witnessed in my couple of years at UNE is rotting the heart of why and how this university exists. To set the administration up as infallible and to ostracise and ridicule anyone who disagrees is doomed to fail. Where is UNE at and what of the Barber legacy? I have said on numerous occasions that the reputation of this institution is proud and more than a few generations of students have benefited from successful careers founded on a UNE degree. The erosion of respect for students and academics is the demise of a once proud history. On more than one occasion I have heard UNE described as a ‘sheltered workshop’ or variations of that. This is an outrageous and reprehensive example of the depth to which the morale of UNE has sunk. I cannot say that the Barber era is the start of this scandalous situation, I can only say it has, in my opinion, been granted a stay of execution.

To me it is evident that there are members of senior UNE administration who do not respect the current crop of tertiary students. If they do not respect the current students how can the UNE administration possibly walk the talk of the UNE strategic plan, and how can they gain the attention and respect of the UNE students and alumni? This is a brick-wall paradigm that I rail against because somehow at UNE students have no valid opinion or worth beyond dollars. I am interested in a long-worn phrase that I have heard here: that you cannot look to the past for the answer and for a vision of the future. I beg to differ—the graduates of this university have taken the learning from this institution, are forging a future, and by extension have some very real, pertinent lessons for the cracked and broken UNE tertiary model of the present. The UNE Student Association would not exist at the university if UNE administration had been responsible enough to manage student amenity. This week it has been revealed that of the $300,000 UNE allocated to ServicesUNE for student amenity, $100,000 went to directly subsidising the Booloomimbah Collection: effectively a discount for administration staff. In the meantime a coffee and a dodgy sandwich at the apply named Grind & Squeeze cost $1.50 more than at ‘Bool’. UNESA has restored the student voice at UNE and, although starting from an impossibly low base, has managed to make its way to a presence that cannot be ignored. I was hoping that this note from the President’s desk might be upbeat. There are plenty of good things to celebrate, not least of which is to welcome in a new year, new students and—sometime this year—a new Vice-Chancellor. The energy and aspirations of the next generation are held in the lecture halls, textbooks and ether that is the unique experience of studying at UNE. Good luck pursuing your aspirations in 2014. David Mailler, UNESA President 3

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Dear Editors,

Dear Editors,

The Sydney Morning Herald should be congratulated on its current campaign against street violence, with the educational grassroots approach being important. Strategies to curb alcohol abuse and promotion are also useful. To be widely effective, however, we must recognise that this is not an isolated phenomenon, but exists within a culture that often glorifies violence, such as through films, TV and games. Our major sports encourage aggression and competition (although there have been pleasing moves to make children’s sport focus on participation, cooperation, exercise and fun rather than winning). At government level, violence is clearly condoned through the $32 billion spent annually on ‘defence’—massive public resourcing of premeditated extreme violence towards strangers, despite even the Defence Department admitting there is no military threat to Australia in the next few decades. Violence is seen as necessary and effective, while the incredible successes of nonviolence, including against ruthless regimes, continue to go unrecognised by most historians and journalists.

I write to express my disappointment at Sarita Perston’s recent article ‘LIH: Look, I’m Here!’ (Nucleus, Janus Edition, p. 9). Unwilling or unable to engage with the merits of the case for and against the restructure of the LIH despatch office, Sarita resorted to snide remarks about Professor Blass herself. I have come to expect this kind of behaviour from certain members of the NTEU but I had expected better from Sarita. Still, with any luck, this regrettable lapse in judgement will do Sarita’s reputation no long term damage as I’ve yet to encounter a single individual who believes that Sarita actually wrote the article herself. Professor Jim Barber Vice-Chancellor and CEO University of New England

A wider strategy of Peace Education and community action is necessary. Although Peace Studies has been a university discipline for many years, there is very little Peace Education in schools, and Peace Studies suffers from continually having to justify its existence, because its benefits are not immediately obvious in our increasingly corporatised universities. Peace Education is critical and interdisciplinary, asking, for example, why violence is so heavily covered while quiet and often successful initiatives for peace are not. Why do publishers and booksellers focus so heavily on war, with large sections devoted to war in every bookshop and few devoted to peace? Why it is so hard to get books on peace reviewed by newspapers or radio? The close ties between the military–industrial complex and media/entertainment corporations such as CBS are another factor in glorifying war. At grassroots level, are we complicit if we buy violent films and games, or allow our children to view them? Much evidence suggests that we become desensitised to violence through constant exposure to it. This can be achieved simply by watching the nightly news, which features the worst of global violence, giving a skewed perspective of human societies, which are primarily peaceful. Other issues include obsession with body image (and the related use of steroids), homophobia (as exemplified by our marriage laws), and how masculinity is defined, with a recent SMH article describing how gendered preferences are more influenced by socialisation than biology. To reduce violence on the streets we need to understand all the violence in our society, and develop holistic, thoughtful, integrated strategies to reduce it. Dr Marty Branagan Peace Studies, University of New England marty.branagan@une.edu.au

Have something to say? A rant, a compliment, a complaint, an idle thought? We want to hear it! Send your letter to editors@nucleus.org. au, or come and see us in our office and grab a fantail while you’re there!

Prof Raja Jayaraman 0400 978 700 Prof Frank Hutchinson Lindsay Mell 0431 843 852 Centre for Peace and Conflict Studies (Council), University of Sydney

DESIGN PRINT POST freecall 1300 853 700 email sales@evansprinting.com.au 215 Mann Street Armidale www.evansprinting.com.au 4

your local printer proudly suporting the Nucleus

1 i r T 4 1 0 2 Orientation Friday February 14 tation Starts 9am: International Student Orien (Lewis Lecture theatre) ted information and * Note: this includes vital Visa-rela compulsory equipment

Sunday February 16 llege Residents) 5pm: Welcome BBQ (all non Co meet other Oorala. Make sure you come and e t-shirt local students and pickup your fre e Age and (this includes International, Matur Indigenous students!). rticular college College Residents: refer to your pa for arrangements

Monday February 17 at Northern 9am: Town-based students meet 0 deposit is Courtyard to collect gowns (a $2 required by Services UNE). y & Toolkit 10am: Commencement Ceremon Session (Lazenby Hall)

Tuesday February 18

E Olympiad 10am: Lifesaver Day + Sport UN e Orientation Evening: Tamworth Study Centr

Wednesday February 19

idual Schools) 10am: Academic Programs (Indiv Library) & Academic Skills Fair (Dixson tation Evening: Taree Study Centre Orien

Thursday February 20 10am: Academic Skills Fair

Strait Islander 12.30pm: Aboriginal and Torres BBQ & ‘Yarn Up’ @ Oorala t Centre Lawns 5pm: All College Function - Wrigh (Freshers’ Bash Evening: Services UNE Functions & Cinema Night)

Friday February 21 10am: Official Launch of Flexible (Dixson Library)

Learning Space

Tours Midday : Free Lunch & Campus individual 2pm: College Residents return to -based students Colleges, Amazing Race for Town (Meet @ Northern Carpark) pus Orientation Evening: Parramatta FutureCam

Barber Heading Back Home

Men’s Club at UNE by Bridgette Glover

by Bridgette Glover

n Friday 31 January, Jim Barber gave his six months’ notice to the UNE Council for his resignation as UNE’s Vice Chancellor after a term of four years. Despite following a tradition of short terms by UNE’s Vice Chancellors, Barber accomplished many things, though not all were favoured by UNE and the Armidale community. Among these controversial achievements was the decision to move to a trimester system, which undeniably affected the local community, what with noticeable influxes of students coming and going throughout the year. This movement away from the traditional semester calendar clearly annoyed academics also, and to exacerbate the situation, Barber made the push to online learning. However, according to Barber this was a step in the right direction, whose well-known notion of the future heavily revolves around digital education. UNE Chancellor John Watkins believes Barber’s move to place UNE in the “vanguard of growth areas such as online education” will now allow the university to compete globally. Watkins also made mention of the improvements in UNE that Barber is responsible for, including the growth in both student and staff numbers, an increase in research funding, surpluses rather than deficits, as well as “the biggest capital works program in the history of the Armidale Campus” now in the works. Barber stated that the choice to leave his position at UNE was a personal one, explaining that he is ready to return home to Melbourne and, despite the fact that he accepted a second five-year term last February, he believes it is time. Nevertheless, Barber believes that since his appointment in 2009, he has accomplished what he was hired to do, and that in stepping away from executive leadership, he would be able to focus on his interest in online learning. Barber was Deputy Vice Chancellor at RMIT University before he uprooted to Armidale, and although he is looking forward to retirement with his wife Mary, UNE Chancellor John Watkins explained that they are exploring ways in which Jim can “pursue his interests in association with UNE in an external capacity”.

ndrew Liston recently made the decision to start up a club for the men of UNE.

Liston told Nucleus that after discovering that there was a Women’s Society at UNE, he thought it only appropriate that there be a Men’s Club to “cater to the male experience” and because male students are the minority on campus, even more so off campus, providing representation is important. Liston stated that despite the fact that the Club is still “finding their legs,” the executive committee has high hopes for their first year. As well as becoming involved in the Club and Society events throughout the year, the committee also spoke with the Armidale Men’s Shed, and have since been approved to use their facilities to build a piece of outdoor furniture, which they will then donate back to UNE. Liston further explained his vision for the Club, stating “We do also hope to support various appropriate social causes such as health programs, awareness campaigns and fund-raising, obviously with the focus on men”. In establishing this group, Liston ultimately hopes to establish a culture that gives the opportunity “for any individual to maintain and improve their well-being, which will have a ripple effect on the rest of the campus.”

guaranteed women-friendly.” Wood continued, “It’s a sad reality that many women in our society still feel unsafe at times. I think the number of women telling me they will be coming onto campus more often once there is a Women’s Room they can go to when they are anxious or concerned, proves that we need the space.” Wood however did not manage to get the room alone, acknowledging that much of the hard work was by David Mailler, President of UNE Student Association. Wood said, “UNESA have been very supportive of the Women’s Space and without Dave’s help, this wouldn’t be a reality.” Mailler has also confirmed with Nucleus that the SSAF funding for the refurbishment of the room was just recently approved. Mums@UNE also were a part of this accomplishment, who Wood says joined with UNEWS in asking for the space. Wood also paid tribute to former President Milly Roberts, who “did a fabulous job laying all the groundwork and campaining the University for this space.” The room is open to all individual students who tick “Female” on their enrolment form. It will have resources relevant to women such as sexual health, counselling and emergency accommodation, and it is breast-feeding friendly. Opening hours will be from 6am to 11pm.

“With the formation of this club there can now be a dialogue between the sexes, which is important to establish a sense of equilibrium,” he said. Liston plans on having a stall at Lifesaver Day, as well as being involved in the Clubs and Societies Fair, which will be held on 26 February.

A Safe Space for Women by Bridgette Glover

he University of New England Women’s Society has recently accomplished a huge feat in successfully attaining a long-awaited Women’s Space. Located in the Union Courtyard area, next door to the Nucleus office, the Safe Space for women will open in about four weeks. Kate Wood, President of UNEWS, explained the importance of the room, stating “sometimes women need a space they can go, that is

Kate Wood - UNEWS President

NUS condemns proposed upfront $6 fee for GP visits Media Release — 4 January 2014

he 2014 National Union of Students (NUS) President, Deanna Taylor, says that the Prime Minister’s refusal to rule out introducing this fee poses a real danger to students’ quality of life. “Two thirds of Australian students are already living below the poverty line and suffering

financial distress, and this is even higher for Indigenous students and those from low socioeconomic backgrounds. This fee would see students plunge further into poverty. “Many students will simply choose to not visit the doctor, which would be disastrous given that people aged under 25 are disproportionately affected by many health issues such as mental illness,” says Deanna Taylor. Rallies are being held in capital cities around the country over the next few weeks in response to the proposal under consideration. “The National Union of Students endorses these actions and reiterates the importance of universal healthcare, particularly for students and other vulnerable groups. These actions around the country should serve as a signal to the government that moves to undermine the affordability and accessibility of health care will not be tolerated, especially by students.”

NUS releases SSAF Implementation Report Media Release — 27 January 2014

he National Union of Students has released its report on the implementation of the Student Services and Amenities Fee for 2013. The report was compiled throughout 2013 following a national study into how the SSAF is being implemented at campuses across Australia. NUS President Deanna Taylor says while it is a concern that the report shows there are still some issues with how the SSAF is implemented, students would be much worse off without the fee in place. “It is concerning that students are reporting university delays in finalising SSAF funding agreements and subpar university consultation with students on how the SSAF should be spent. NUS calls on universities to ensure they engage in meaningful student consultation and negotiate with student organisations in good faith.

“This fee has reanimated the student voice and enabled students to benefit from a massively expanded range of services provided by their student organisation, as well as those provided by the university. Students cannot afford to return to the Howard-era Voluntary Student Unionism that crippled student unions and decimated campus life, and saw student services evaporate. The government should recognise that it is critical that the SSAF remains, and reconsider its opposition to the fee.”

UNE services and sport come to Life Media Release — 6 February 2014

he University of New England’s five-star student experience is set to reach new highs in 2014. This year UNE will be embarking on a number of exciting projects to enhance the on-campus university experience. Sport UNE and Services UNE have joined forces to create UNE Life, which will allow for a consistent and streamlined approach to the services and facilities provided at the University of New England. As part of UNE Life, new and improved facilities, services and venues are planned, including several major refurbishments and facelifts. Interim CEO of UNE Life, Dave Schmude, says he is excited about what UNE Life will mean to the University and to the community as a whole. “UNE has maintained a strong number of oncampus students, and we want to ensure that students look at UNE and see an exciting place to study and live. In an age where more and more students are opting to study online, we need to show them how great the on-campus experience can be.

However, it is encouraging to see that 75% of Australian student organisations’ funding has ‘dramatically improved’ or ‘improved’ since the SSAF was introduced.”

“By providing a fun, healthy and social atmosphere, we’ll be encouraging even more students to study on campus, which will ultimately benefit the whole Armidale community.

Deanna Taylor says that this rejuvenation is a clear indication that students cannot afford to lose the SSAF.

“Essentially, we want to extend the services UNE offers to its students and staff to all Armidale residents, to bring the town and

University closer together.” To serve college students and to complement the 211 units in the new college development, the Wright Centre will be transformed into a bar, café and entertainment venue. A mini-mart will also be opened to cater for the increasing number of self-catering college students. In town, the Belgrave Cinema will have a major facelift and renovations, with work expected to begin in the coming months.

NUS appalled that attacks on Higher Education are high on government’s agenda Media Release — 7 February 2014

he National Union of Students says that the draft legislative program for the Senate’s first sitting week shows that attacks on the higher education sector are high on the Government’s agenda. National President Deanna Taylor says that the fact that legislation to slash funding to universities and turn student start-up scholarships into loans are the first cabs off the rank after legislation to repeal the carbon tax shows where the Government’s priorities are. “Students were aware of the Government’s plans for their education, but it is shocking to see this legislation so high on their agenda. This legislation will gut universities’ funding and leave struggling students worse off. It is appalling that this is such a high priority for the Government,” says Deanna Taylor. “It is telling that the Government’s second act will be to attack the higher education sector. For a Prime Minister who said he believes government’s role in higher education was ‘more to be a respectful listener than a hands on manager,’ he’s got a funny way of showing it,” says Deanna Taylor. NUS has called a National Day of Action for March 26, on which students will rally nationally to demand that the Government retain university funding and student start-up scholarships. “NUS will be going all out to mobilise students for the March 26 National Day of Action,” says Deanna Taylor. 7

Clubs & Societies Want to get off your ass and get involved? Have a look at just some of UNE’s fabulous Clubs and Societies! GSMA

Law Students’ Society

GSMA is Armidale’s Gender and Sexuality Minorities Alliance, based at UNE. It is a group that hopes to provide events, support and a discussion forum for the Armidale area’s GBTLI community. This group encompasses both the old Queerspace group as well as the old AQuA group.

UNE Law Students’ Society hosts both academic, cultural, social and sporting activities, in an effort to supplement the legal education of students, both internal and external. Activities this year include Academic Competitions, Cocktail Night, and Careers Week, among many others! Membership is just $10, which entitles members to discounted rates to LSS-hosted events and merchandise, access to LSS facilities, and a rather splendid membership card. Join us in our common room in the Law School, post to our facebook wall, or email us at lsociety@une.edu.au if you have any enquiries, suggestions, or just feel like a chat!

The Queer Space at UNE is a space where all GLBTI Armidillians can come meet, socialise, get information, help or just talk to other GLBTI people. It is a Space where everyone is welcome and can feel safe and at home. We also welcome allies! qspace@myune.edu.au www.facebook.com/groups/gaygsma

UNEWS The University Women’s Society (UNEWS) is a group which organises fundraisers, cultural events, activism and social gatherings among many other things. Our mission is to collect a group of women together to get things done in a positive way. We also aim to empower women through knowledge, advocacy and skill sharing. Most of our events are open to all women, even if you’re not a member so feel free to come along, you might even like it enough to become a member or associate member. managementunews@gmail.com Facebook: http://bit.do/unews

AYCC New England AYCC New England is the local branch of the Australian Youth Climate Coalition. Our aim is to empower young people in the New England region to take action on climate change through education, inspiration and mobilisation. We participate in national campaigns, engage in issues on a local level, receive training and support from the state branch, and provide opportunities to become involved on anything from downtown market stalls or regional political activism to national summits and events. It is young Australians who will face the consequences of decisions made today. The AYCC’s vision is to deliver the short-term political impact and long-term cultural change for a safe climate future. We welcome all young people and also have roles available. sarita.perston@aycc.org.au www.aycc.org.au www.facebook.com/ayccnewengland

lsociety@une.edu.au www.facebook.com/groups/UNELawStudentsSociety www.unelss.org MUMS@UNE We are a support group for Mums/Mums-to-be who are studying (internal/external) at UNE, Armidale. We are also the largest off-campus group and are proud to be part of the student cohort at UNE. Admins are Sikiki Lloyd, Catherine O’Connor and Rachel Campbell. Feel free to direct your questions to any one of us (Ed UNE too). Here’s to our future successes through higher education! Facebook: Search for “Mum UNE” As we are an official UNE group member must be UNE students. Please add ‘Ed UNE’ (http://www.facebook.com/ed.une) as a (mutual) friend before requesting to join this group. Note: if your privacy is set so we can’t message you to ask/ confirm the above & you are still waiting to be added, that may be the reason why, or check your ‘Messages > Other’ folder, you may have a message waiting to be read :)

PUT YOUR CLUB OR SOCIETY HERE! Contact Nucleus at editors@nucleus.org.au

How to Be an External

By Jade Hamilton and Jessie Wilcox

ASO Factsheets The Academic Skills Office (ASO) have compiled a series of factsheets that answer a number of frequently asked questions that students have. The topics covered include; study skills, referencing, writing essays, reviews and reports, writing correctly, writing different paragraph types and mathematics. They are an invaluable tool for both new students and ongoing students and often answer questions without having to look much further. The factsheets can be found at www. une.edu.au/about-une/leadership/executive/pro-vice-chancellor-innovation-andinternational/learning-innovations-hub/learning-support/academic-skills/factsheet (or http://bit.ly/1eBPneP). IT Service Desk The university provides an IT service to both internal and external students with the IT service desk. You can get IT help via phone, email or face-to-face and for those of us who are (at times) completely computer illiterate this service is super helpful and can make studying all that much easier. You can contact the IT service desk via phone 02 6773 5000 or toll-free 1800 763 040, via email on servicedesk@ une.edu.au or in person at the Dixson Library Service desk that is located on the Ground Floor of the Dixson Library (C31). More information regarding this service can be found at www.une.edu.au/current-students/support/it-services (or http://bit.ly/1gQxk7L) Evernote Evernote is a software program that allows you to note take and archive information across a number of devices. It is a wonderful way to have access to your study needs in different locations and across different devices. An ‘on the go’ study software program. More information on this software program can be found at www.evernote.com and a multitude of examples of how to use the program can be found by searching on Google.

Library Services The use of the library and the services that they offer are very important to both internal and external students, although, many people overlook the importance of the library for external students. For external students the library will post out books and include free return postage which is a big advantage for external students and their studies. This service allows external students to have extra resources without having to pay out any extra money (which is always a bonus for students). UNE will also pay for half the membership fee to join your local university’s library which is also another great way to access more resources for your studies. The library also offers services such as computers, e-reserve, online databases and tours around the library. It is always a good idea to get acquainted with the services that are available for you through the library as they will be priceless to you during your studies. Library services and other information regarding the library can be found at www.une.edu.au/library. Balancing Life Becoming a university student is a major transition and will cause a lot of changes in your life. The study/life balance is very important and can include a number of activities such as social life, family obligations, exercise and work. Exercise is a very important part of being a university student and needs to be a priority. Sitting down to study and the snacking that normally comes with this can lead to weight gain and an unhealthy lifestyle. Scheduling in time to exercise is a great way to stop those kilos and health problems piling on as well as stabilising moods and beating those study blues that often set in. Balance is key in successful continuous study! New England Award The New England Award (NEA) is an award given by UNE for your involvement in a number of experiences including: volunteering, extracurricular activities and event organisation. It allows you to develop life skills while working towards an award that can be used on a resume or CV. Photo credit: Jessie Cat

Counselling Service The university offers a counselling service that is free and confidential to both internal and external students. Their mission is to offer the support that is needed to succeed in your studies whether it is academic or personal counselling that is needed. Face-to-face, telephone and Skype appointments are available. Their office hours are 9am to 4:30pm (Monday—Friday) and they can be contacted on 02 6773 2897 or further information can be found at www.une.edu.au/current-students/ support/student-support/counselling (or http://bit.ly/1fz1mHS).

Textbooks Textbooks, unfortunately something that we need as students but cost a fortune! There are the UNE bookshops but there are also a number of websites that can be used to purchase textbooks cheaper. A very useful website is www.booko.com.au, it allows you to compare prices on textbooks (and other medias) so find the cheapest place to purchase our texts, because let’s be honest as students the more we can save the better!

What’s Happenin’ Hot Stuff?* Pancake Tuesday & Friday Funday

Fresher Bash @ The Stro

EVERY WEEK FOR FREEEEE!

20th Feb 9pm Tickets $20

Clubs and Societies Fair 26th Feb Kicks off at 11am

For more details of events both on and off campus, check out www.uni4me. com.au or Like Uni4Me on Facebook.

Free live music and BBQ

*Obviously a reference to classic film Sixteen Candles (1984) 9

GRADUATE STUDENT

De minimis non curat lex

There was a young fellow named Rex, With a very small organ of sex. When arraigned for exposure He maintained with composure “De minimis non curat lex!”

by Nathan Hammond

here is a somewhat famous legal maxim— de minimis non curat lex, a Latin phrase meaning “the law does not concern itself with trifles”. Well, the law (arguably) does not concern itself with trifles—that is, insignificant things—and neither should you. When you start uni there a lot of things you could be worrying about. But for most people, most of those things end up seeming pretty de minimis in hindsight. And no, I’m not sure that de minimis is actually the part of the maxim that translates to “insignificant”. As you may have guessed, I am a law graduate. I started out my five year double degree in Arts/Law way back in 2008. By the time you are reading this, I should have also finished my Graduate Diploma of Legal Practice at the College of Law. With any luck I will finally be admitted as a Solicitor any day now! Which brings me to my second attempted piece of advice: try to keep in mind what you want to do at the end of your degree (the big picture). I’m not saying that you have to know exactly what you want to do. But I do think that time spent contemplating what you might achieve with your degree both assists you to take helpful steps and motivates you to push through those low moments that all of us have. Personally, I know that my possibly somewhat naïve goal of being a human rights lawyer (for all the fame, fortune, and women, of course…) led me to embrace opportunities to complete relevant units, leadership and extracurricular activities. For example: doing charity work with the Armidale Dumaresq Leos Club (youth version of Lions); volunteering in the Duval, Drummond and Smith Kayaking Club which raised money for the Arrow Bone Marrow Foundation; and becoming both a college Academic Mentor and Resident Fellow. While at the time of writing I am not yet a human rights lawyer, I am working as a legal clerk at a human rights-based legal firm as part of my Graduate Diploma of Legal Practice. One of the human rights lawyers at my firm is another UNE law grad who was only a few years ahead of me.

Now, back to those trifles again. Some of you may be concerned that you came to UNE not knowing anybody, and that you may have trouble making friends. For most people this concern will be gone pretty soon, especially if you are in one of the colleges. Keep in mind that most other people come to uni knowing few, if any people either, so they are just as keen to make new friends as you are. I know that I was. I suggest you make the most of all the orientation programs and events—they really are the perfect opportunities to make friends. Post-orientation-period activities such as joining clubs and playing sports are another safe bet. For example, volunteering at Tune!FM, the student radio station, is a great idea for any music lovers. Another concern some of you may have is whether or not you are actually cut out for uni. Or, if you don’t worry about this right now, you may when you end up having four twothousand-word assignments due in the same week; or, when exam time comes around and you try going back through your notes (or lack thereof). Remember that there is no substitute for hard work and planning in this regard. One of the best pieces of advice I think I ever gave as an Academic Mentor was to GET A WALL PLANNER! If you put all your assessment due dates on it, look at how much time you have to prepare and complete each, and use that time wisely, you can’t go wrong. (They hand out free wall planners from Services UNE, particularly during the first few days of O-Week.) If you do become concerned about how you are going, remember there are plenty of resources at your disposal. For example, there are academic skills sessions intermittently throughout orientation week and the rest of the year. You can also talk to your lecturer, go to the UNE Academic Skills Office (where they have heaaaaaps of resources), your Academic Mentor (if at college), and don’t forget the other people in your course! If you happen to be an arts or planning

student, I cannot recommend strongly enough a unit called ENCO100—The Craft of Academic Writing. My final piece of advice, which I shall now exemplify for you, is that, when you have reached the word or time limit, then it is time to finish waffling and just get the rest of the important content in: •

Tutorials are really helpful, particularly in law. Let’s just say that Admiral Ackbar would advise against missing them.

•

If you do miss a lecture, which will happen, remember you can usually listen to the podcast online.

•

Embrace the opportunities that uni gives you. Three (and even five) years goes way faster than you think.

•

If someone happens to vomit on carpet, do not try cleaning it with hot water. That will only make it worse.

• • • • • • • • Photo credit: UNE and Diana Cowie

Want more survival tips to become a succesful and stress-free fresher? Lucy Napthali has those tips! Right over there!

WHAT I WISH I’D KNOWN AS A FRESHER by Lucy Napthali

hen I first came to UNE as a fresher in 2011, I was walking in blind. I came from a very small town in Central New South Wales, where my graduating class was made up of only nine people, six of whom had been together even before pre-school. I had never been to Armidale before, never attended a university open day, and the only person in my family who had ever attended university had done so as an off-campus student while she held down a full-time job and raised two children, so she had no advice to give me on university culture.

Lucy is a fourth year UNE student, studying a Bachelor of Arts, majoring in English, Writing and Film and Media Studies. She likes bad horror movies, dinosaurs and odd history facts

When I awkwardly made my way into my college’s car park (after getting lost for ten minutes trying to find the entrance) I was going in with no idea of what to expect. It was an absolutely terrifying experience, and while I’d like to think I’ve muddled through okay in the three years since then, I often wish I’d had some small piece of guidance to make that first year run a bit smoother. So, for any freshers that are walking in my terrified and unaware footsteps, I offer these lessons that I’ve learnt, in hopes that they’ll make your first year that little bit easier…

1. Everyone is intimidated by someone. And that someone is probably you. That person that you want to make friends with but are too scared to approach because you think they’ll reject you? They’re probably just as terrified as you. So down a cup of cement (or vodka if you’re so inclined) and just go and talk to them. 2. Be here for the right reasons. Why are you studying that degree? Is it for you, or for someone else’s benefit? And if it is for someone else’s benefit, does that upset you, or make you more determined? Make sure your study reflects your values as well as your desires. 3. You don’t need to buy every textbook. Network with other students and figure out which books you really need. You’d be surprised how often prescribed texts are available at the library because everyone just went ahead and bought the textbook. And if you must buy the textbook, use a price comparison search engine like Booko to find it; you can often find second hand books for 20% of the original retail price on there. 4. If you live in a college, keep your door open as much as possible. You’d be surprised how many great afternoons and friendships are started because someone has walked past your open door and noticed your Star Wars posters/gaming console/ art supplies/questionable music collection.

Illustrations by Bessie, the neighbour’s cat

5. REFERENCING. LEARN HOW TO REFERENCE LIKE A BEAST. 6. Safety pins are invaluable. Zipper replacements, last minute costumes for the Stro, altering loose fitting clothes; at some point you’re going to need them. 7. If you’re determined, you can cook just about anything using the combination of a sandwich press, a microwave and an electric frypan. Even a roast. Seriously. 8. Take advantage of events. Check out the flyers, look on Facebook pages, read local blogs; you’d be amazed at what you can find happening on campus and in town. 9. Get to know Armidale itself, not just the bubble that is the UNE campus. Where to find the cheapest wine, what time grocery stores are open, and the location of local swimming holes are invaluable information. 10. People are essentially good, but that doesn’t mean somebody won’t steal your cutlery from the kitchenette.

“Sign up to the gym! A healthy mind needs a healthy body.”

Jonathon Stacey is studying a Bachelor of Medicine. He says, “Last year SportUNE sponsored five of us to participate in Tough Mudder in Sydney. Signing up for TM really motivated us to get fit. Studying at the same time was difficult but my time management skills have improved greatly

and I’ve never felt so healthy and fit.”

For the oncampus students: SportUNE offers memberships from $8 a week, which includes unlimited access to the gym, pool, and group fitness.Check them out on campus (Northern section), give them a call on 02 6773 3856, or scrutinise the website: www.sportune. com.au 11

UNIT PROFILE

THEA234 - Speaking in public An Interview with Course co-ordinator Dr Julie Shearer THEA234 – Speaking in Public was set up by Professor Adrian Kiernander. Now it is run by Doctor Julie Shearer. I took this unit last year and highly recommend it to anyone who wants to improve not only their confidence and ability in public speaking, but also their confidence in everyday vocal practice. —Alana What is the primary aim of the unit? The unit was set up deliberately as an interdisciplinary unit, and I suppose it’s like a service unit. It addresses a need for students in tertiary education. Lots and lots of people find it scary to speak in public, and yet more and more they’re being expected to have those kinds of skills: to be able to communicate with clients, or students, or their customers, or even their colleagues. We also teach the kind of communication skills that are more commonly taught at university level in writing: how to express an idea convincingly, how to argue persuasively. So the skills you develop in the unit, you can also use when you’re writing essays, and in other forums. Recently I was asked to teach sessions on speaking in public, into the research summer school, and a lot of those students are going to be postgrads, or are postgrads, and very often you could have got to the level of PhD and not ever really had a lot of practice delivering complex ideas orally to a crowd, to a public. So, yeah, that’s how it originated: it addressed a need. What were the reasons for starting the unit? It was an idea that had its time. There was an emphasis on the undervalued or under-looked skill of public speaking. We have a rhetoric unit, in Comms, which is more looking at it as a written form—the structure of argument, if you like. And so [THEA234] was more about presentation

skills, about voice, and body. And also online: it’s fully online at the moment and we use Adobe Connect so that the students can deliver their speeches virtually ‘live’. So that’s something we’re developing, but also, we ask our on-campus students to do that audio-visual presentation of their final speech, because being able to communicate using contemporary technologies is also really important. Because the way we think of ‘public’, now—it’s not just people in a room, there is the wider public that is now available to people on the internet. What individual topics can students expect to learn that will work together to teach them how to be a better public speaker? In terms of their own individual assessment, it’s very wide. And we deliberately keep it so, and students often will choose to speak from their field, so, you know, if you’re a law student you can speak about law, issues, something that interests you in what you’re studying, in politics, or in nursing, or animal science, or teaching: so it’s very broad. If you’re an on-campus student, the seminar topics are all designed to address issues related to public speaking. So sometimes that’s about how you structure an argument, it could be about using PowerPoint, it’s about body language and how you engage with an audience, thinking of it as a conversation, as a two-way thing. And, again, that’s kind of reflected if you’re an offcampus student in the forum discussions, which are guided discussions designed to follow the chapters of the book and read and digest that sort of information and discuss it. Is there anything extra that you’d like to say about the unit, maybe anything to convince people who are considering taking it? For me, I just think it’s a really fundamental skill. You know, sometimes people ask “What did you learn at university?” and you could have been

studying anything—sociology, animal science, arts, theatre—and while you are obviously absorbing information and skills about all sorts of things, what you are at the end is a university graduate. You have certain graduate skills, and they include being able to look things up in the library, and being able to communicate complex ideas effectively. And in a written form that’s certainly something that we assess and test, but more and more, being able to communicate effectively—verbally and to a crowd—and being confident enough to stand up and have your say. And also the skills of listening: developing the skills of intelligent, critical listening. I think these are really valuable graduate skills, and that’s what the unit’s designed for. There are lots and lots of people, I think, for whom this is a skill that they could certainly do with developing.

The Drosophilia Building and Animal Science Post Graduate Annexe to be demolished

uilt in approximately 1962, the Drosophila building was initially the home of livestock husbandry. According to campus maps, the building then became the home of genetics research into the Drosophila (fruit fly) sometime after 1967. These insects are ideal for the study of genetics as they have DNA in their saliva and produce many generations in short period of time.

Need more confidence and skills communicating your ideas in public?

In 1958 the Belshaw Science block was destroyed by fire so the building that is now known as the Animal Science Post Graduate Annexe is believed to have been temporary accommodation for Rural Science staff and students. Rural Science moved into their current building in 1962 and Physiology then called the building home until the Animal Genetics Breeding Unit moved in around 1976. Animal Science post graduate students moved in around 1993.

THEA234 - SPEAKING IN PUBLIC

Without doubt these two unassuming, worn-out buildings housed some talented scientists during their time including Stuart Barker, THE Drosophila man at UNE and Bill McClymont, founder of Rural Science.

Plans are in motion to offer THEA234 at the Parramatta Campus.

Trimester 1, 2014 No pre-requisites needed For more information contact:

julie.shearer@une.edu.au

The Student Support Team If you need help with your studies and you’re not sure who to turn to— ask the Student Support Team. Their job is to make sure students are being looked after at university. Ed, Blake, Frances, Jacinta and Lisa stay up to date and if they can’t help you out, they’ll know who can. They’re often around campus so you can drop into Student Assistant in the Lamble Building and ask for them, or you can: •

Out with the Old

call (02) 6773 4430 and if they don’t answer, make sure you leave your number so they can call you back

•

email studentsupport@ une.edu.au

•

like EdUNE Facebook

With an original estimated life span of 20 years, these buildings are no longer fit for purpose and were handed over to Australian Demolition and Scrap Recovery Pty Ltd for demolition at the end of January. The five week demolition program will ensure the safe removal of any asbestos and other hazardous materials before removing any salvageable items and combustible materials. As demolition progresses, rubble will be continually sorted into salvage, recyclable materials and waste. In their place a new Agricultural Education building will be built containing: •

teaching and research laboratories

•

sound proof and temperature controlled work rooms

•

academic and administrative office space

•

postgraduate space

•

zoology teaching museum and Learning Resource Centre

•

café

With funding provided through the Australian Government’s Education Investment fund the new Agricultural Education Building will provide the necessary facilities to ensure the University of New England’s proud history of producing outstanding agricultural and animal science graduates has a bright future.

Below: Drosophilia Building

They also post to Twitter, YouTube and the UNE Insider’s Guide, which has posts of upcoming info for students including Graduation, Orientation and Exams. Insider’s Guide: www.une. edu.au/insidersguide 13

Still from The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013)

Be this guy in 2014. Anything is possible.

Dare to Begin

by Chloe Delaney

Still from The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013)

t some point during the ridiculous heat of the Queensland summer, I found myself reluctantly squished into the front row of a crowded cinema theatre to escape a 42 degree day. Popcorn in hand, I strategically positioned my neck in a place where I thought it would least hurt as a result of the perilous front row, and settled in for the movie. By the end, I was really intrigued by what I found. It definitely got me thinking about life and how we make ourselves “start over”. Don’t be this guy. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty follows the story of a man who signs up to e-harmony and realises that he has nothing to put in the “achievements” section of the site. Hasn’t been anywhere, or done anything particularly spectacular with the forty-odd years of his life. What follows is a whirlwind adventure to Greenland and across various parts of the world (to impress a girl, by the way, which I thought was pretty spectacular myself— why can’t someone trek across Europe for me??) which leads him to realise what life really is and his purpose in it. Somewhat cheesy, I know. But it got me thinking. How many of us are exactly like Walter Mitty, sitting at home or living our everyday lives with no adventure? How many of us have dreams or

The best is yet to be. — Robert Browning 14

aspirations that are never accomplished? Why don’t we trek across Europe to impress the one we love? Truth is, these things require new beginnings, which are really hard and really scary. We don’t apply for the new job because we don’t want to deal with a whole bunch of scary new people, or we don’t start that new uni course because it might be too hard. Things like money and work definitely get in the way, and of course there are always those kids and the dogs and the other things that you have to pay for.

The beginning is the most important part of the work. — Plato But are we just using these things as excuses to not do the things that we’ve always wanted to do? If you are an adventure-less Walter Mitty or if you haven’t tried anything new for a while, you probably need a new beginning, or at least a crazy adventure! Well, here is the sign. 2014 is the year for you to do everything you’ve always made excuses not to do!

All glory comes from daring to begin. — Eugene F. Ware Sure, you might have kids and dogs to feed, but spend this year saying ‘YES’ anyway. Start the diet you were supposed to start way back in January, go on that trip and see the places you’ve always wanted to see, and apply for the course you’ve always wanted to do. I won’t lie, it will be scary. But once you say yes, you’re making a new beginning! Starting a new adventure! And you definitely won’t regret that one.

Zoology

How do I know? I took on the ‘yes’ adventure in 2013, and it got me to some pretty awesome places with some pretty awesome people. Before I go any further I will say that I am only 20, and a student. I don’t have that much money and I don’t have a full time job. But regardless of this, a simple ‘yes’ got me writing for the Nucleus, volunteering, moving out of home for the first time, and on a crazy trip around Europe. Yep. I said yes one day, and (about nine months later) I found myself on the top of the Eiffel Tower, riding bikes

Life is not a dress rehearsal. Stop practicing what you’re going to do and just do it. In one bold stroke you can transform today. — Marilyn Grey around Amsterdam and ascending the snowy Swiss Alps. Nothing is impossible if you really want to achieve it.

Say yes and have a crazy adventure!

Photo credit: Chloe Delaney

In fact, all a new beginning requires is a ‘yes.’ You don’t have to go all the way to Europe to impress someone (although it definitely will do you some favours with whoever you’re trying to impress) but you can start with small steps. I assure you that 2014 will be amazing if you dare to take on everything you’ve ever set out to do.

So don’t be an adventurous-less Walter Mitty. And don’t be that person that sits in the front row of the cinema either, you’ll end up with a really sore neck. Be the adventurous Walter Mitty, and make a new beginning in 2014. It’s never too late to try something new.

What is not started today is never finished tomorrow. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

So get out there, stay away from the front row of the cinemas and get started with your new beginnings! Good luck! Chloe is a distance education student from Brisbane, currently completing her third year in a BA majoring in archaeology and palaeoanthropology with the aim of being a forensic anthropologist in the future. In her spare time, she likes to read a lot of books and play field hockey. Photo credit: Chloe Delaney

by Kathryn Lambert

ebruary marks the beginning of a new academic year. The University becomes alive again with the hustle and bustle of students who are starting a new chapter in their lives, a rite of passage: the day they start university. As a first year zoology student, the world is your oyster. There are so many fascinating things to study here at UNE. In the words of Sir David Attenborough: ‘…the natural world is the greatest source of excitement; the greatest source of visual beauty; the greatest source of intellectual interest. It is the greatest source of so much in life that makes life worth living.’ Studying zoology is all about making these discoveries for yourself. Whether your interest lies in entomology, ornithology, animal behavior or physiology, you now have the opportunity to learn from some of the most interesting and quirky scientists in the world. And, yes, I put myself in the quirky category because after all, it takes a particular personality type to want to work with animals and not people. As a zoology student, you now have the opportunity to be involved in voluntary fieldwork with a variety of PhD projects. Zoology is, for the most part, the study of animals. Not just the cute and cuddly kind, either. The current PhD projects focus on a variety of different species, including work on Noisy Miners, microbats, Bell miners, mist netting, entomology, and ecological monitoring, all of which reflect how vast a field zoology research is. Fieldwork allows you to get ‘hands-on’ experience while you are studying. At the end of your degree, fieldwork experience will become a valuable tool for your future endeavors of gaining employment or deciding whether you want to continue on Photo credit: Kathryn Lambert to become a researcher and maybe even earn yourself a Doctorate. The possibilities are endless! All you need to do is ask any of the PhD students or your lecturers for volunteering opportunities.

Zoology is not just about spending time in the great outdoors, though. As a student, you will also learn how to study and draw specimens in the laboratory, use statistical programs (something most of us hate at the beginning but you will soon realize how valuable this skill actually becomes as you continue through your studies!), and, writing essays. All of these skills can and will be improved as you work through your degree so do not worry if you are not particularly good at writing or drawing just now. The degree is designed to improve your naturalist and researcher skills and help you to learn what your specific skills are as a zoologist. Science is, after all, a knowledge base that scientists and those in training want to make contributions to, conserve, and make new discoveries in. The first year of your degree is, therefore, a very exciting time! You have started on the path to learning all about the ins and outs of the animal kingdom, the variety of habitats, and the relationships animals have with each other and their environment. So, enjoy your studies and university life and we will see you around campus! 15

16 12

New Year: Horse Style

n typical Aussie fashion was the year of 2014 celebrated: beers in our hands, new year’s resolutions set, our jobs re-begun, our lives ‘back on track’ … the end finally, after days upon days of festivities. But if you thought the opportunity to celebrate the New Year has already passed us by, think again!

The Chinese celebrate their New Year in a traditional sense—that is, according to the seasons and cycles of the moon. Although they have adopted the western solar calendar, the lunar calendar is still utilised to guide some of their key cultural festivals. Historically, the lunar calendar was formulated to facilitate agriculture, by keeping track of time so villagers knew when to till the soil and sow the crops. Like any culture, the origins of this significant event are from way back in the ‘good ol’ days’ when ‘legends were born’; the most popular being the story of Nian, meaning Year, as in New Year or ‘Xin Nian’. And it goes something like this… In Ancient times, there was a monster—a ferocious animal—one that bore the body of a bull and the head of a lion. Deep in the mountains did it dwell, hunting for its existence. Towards the end of winter however, there would be little to nothing to eat so the monster would

Monica studies a Bachelor of Pharmacy, loves a good coffee, and endless swimming.

Artwork by Monica Fortunaso

travel down from the mountains and attack the villages, eating anything it could find. Over this time the villagers would be in constant fear and terror, not able to leave their houses.

But over time, the villagers came to realise that the fierce and unstoppable Nian was fearful of three things: the colour scarlet, fire and noise. Now having worked this out, the villagers came together and agreed that when it was time for Nian’s annual visit around the end of winter, they would all start fires in front of their doors, hang scarlet painted boards in front of their houses and stay awake, making a lot of noise. So, when Nian was spotted slinking down from the mountains to make his first kill, the villagers arose, started the fires, put up the boards and stayed up, making as much noise as they could. As the monster arrived and heard the terrible ruckus as well as the fire and scarlet boards, he freaked and ran full pelt back into the mountains never to return. Exhausted, the villagers went to sleep but the next day celebrated and congratulated themselves on ridding the village from fear of the monster. The next year, they repeated the ritual in the chance of the monster Nian returning and it has since been passed down generation to generation. Following this legend came many of the

traditions associated with Chinese New Year: fireworks, to drive away evil; ‘Shou Sui’ which involves a family member staying awake until midnight to fend off Nian; a red packet or envelope given to the youngsters, which contains money, believed to suppress evil and keep them healthy and long living; and last but not least, scarlet-coloured decorations—symbolic of the scarlet used to banish the wicked Nian. Another important aspect of Chinese New Year is the 12 animals that are cycled through, taking turns to represent each year. This year, 2014, is considered the year of the horse which, if you attend any of the festivities, will be a noticeable theme amongst the decorations. People born in the last Year of the Horse, which may be some of you (1978 and 1990 were also Years of the Horse), are considered clever, kind, animated and energetic. Horses are a social and intelligent animal and so love to immerse themselves in a crowd (parties, concerts, meetings, sporting occasions). However, it is also a wild animal and therefore has a lot of energy and works hard but can couple this with a tendency to be hot-headed and impatient! Sound familiar to anyone? The Chinese New Year celebrations take place until 9 February—if you miss out this year, you may want to keep it in mind for 2015, the Year of the Sheep.

by Louise Young

I was born in the late 1950s at a time when the climate was more benevolent than it appears to be now. I feel that each generation has a profound duty to try to leave the earth a better place for those who come after—not just people, but nature as well. I am saddened to see what we are doing to this beautiful planet, and will continue to do what I can to improve our shared future.

ou could easily be forgiven for thinking that the science of climate change is a relatively new subject, especially given the way that some of the media portrays the issue as still unsubstantiated, and our government continues to fail to address the urgency of the situation.

However, in reality, the role that CO2 has on the warming of the earth’s atmosphere was first accepted and understood over 160 years ago.1 In 1850 Irish scientist John Tyndall established that CO2 is a greenhouse gas, which means that it traps heat and keeps it from escaping from our atmosphere.

1850

In the early 20th century, Swedish geochemist Svante Arrhenius realised that CO2 released into the atmosphere by the process of burning fossil fuels could alter Earth’s climate. By the 1930s, British engineer Guy Callendar had compiled empirical evidence that this effect was already discernible. Callendar’s concern was pursued in the 1950s by numerous American scientists, including oceanographer Roger Revelle, who was once a commander in the US Navy Hydrographic Office. Revelle helped his colleague Charles David Keeling find funds to implement a systematic monitoring program.

1950s

By the 1960s, Keeling’s assiduous measurements at Mauna Loa Observatory in Hawaii demonstrated conclusively that atmospheric carbon dioxide was steadily rising.

Photo credit: bea_marques http://pixabay.com/en/leaf-eyes-green-leaves-look-heart-117554/

In 1965, Lyndon B Johnson, the 36th President of the USA, declared: “This generation has altered the composition of the atmosphere on a global scale through a steady increase in carbon dioxide from the burning of fossil fuels.”

1965

In 1979 the subject was addressed by the JASON Committee, an independent scientific advisory group that provides consulting services to the US government on matters of defence, science and technology. The committee was established in 1960 and conducts research under contract to the Department of Defense, the Department of Energy, the US Intelligence Community, and the FBI.2 The JASON scientists predicted that atmospheric carbon dioxide might double by 2035, resulting in mean global temperature increases of 2 to 3 degrees Celsius, and polar warming of as much as 10 to 12 degrees. These concerns led to the establishment of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change and, in 1992, to the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change, which called for immediate action to reverse the trend of mounting greenhouse gas emissions.

1992

One early signatory was President George H W Bush, who called on world leaders to translate the written document into “concrete action to protect the planet”. Three months later, the treaty was unanimously ratified by the Senate.

ENVIRONMENTAL

A Brief History of the Science of Climate Change

Since that time, global research into the science of climate change has continued relentlessly. Over the years the predictions have been modified, but they have never radically changed. There are many and various dire consequences of increased CO2 in the atmosphere, and these consequences are slow moving, difficult to reverse, and have been happening now for decades. That the earth is warming is now undeniable,3 with 2013 being the hottest year on record. The 10 warmest years on record have all been since 1998. If you are younger than 29 you’ve never experienced a month of below average global temperatures and considering the likely demographics of the Nucleus, that is probably quite a few of you who are reading this.

2013

So why then are we still releasing everincreasing amounts of CO2 into the atmosphere? This is a really important question, and goes to the heart of why we as a global society continue to avoid the scientific facts, the overwhelming and ever-increasing evidence, and our own common sense. Next time, I will focus on the politics behind our inaction. 1 - www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/ article/2007/01/31/AR2007013101808.html 2 - Many of the JASON reports are classified, but you can view some of the unclassified ones here: www.fas.org/irp/agency/dod/jason/ 3 - www.climatecouncil.org.au/wp-content/ uploads/2014/01/2013offthecharts.hottestyear-1.pdf

HOW TO MAKE A TOOL

magine, the Our

dear

physical

readers,

that

technology

dormitories,

our

laptop

perfect tool? This, dear reader, we want you to answer. Go on. Think about it. Put down the paper and think:

what would it take for someone to make a spanner? A

whole group of people, even, and from scratch. A lot

of you are just skipping this part, but please, this

is a thought experiment; it does not work if you do

not think about it. Take another five minutes out of your schedule. You have time. Exams are not for many months.

There are many things you could have said in response

to this, or, more likely thought. We do expect most of tomorrow

have

all

disappears.

computers,

our

motorbikes, our books and all of the ground tea.

Some of these things (tea) are more necessary than others (books), but what would be the most devastating

loss? The answer, dear readers, is the everyday tools

that would be needed to build society back up to the

top of the natural order. What follows is a thought

experiment. The aim is to spread some fire through your minds, and to see how much the average student knows

readers

this

mentally

and

without

collaboration. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Now if you think that a machine is the only

way to make something so strong and perfect, you are right. That degree of accuracy and strength requires machines. A human with a forge and a chisel could make

one just as accurate by whittling it down, yes, but it wouldn’t be as strong, and a human with a hammer could

make one just as strong, but far less accurate. Well that was easy, wasn’t it? All we need is some machines to make them. Bam, article over.

But we don’t have any machines. We lost all our

about what lengths humans had to go through over the

technology, remember? So how do we get them? We know

mention that none of our readers are “average”, and

must bore down your mind, but they are necessary to

must lay down some ground rules:

answered, an answer is often thought of for it.

years. We are unwillingly obliged, at this point, to

that we ask a lot of questions, dear reader, and they

you are all “different”. Now that that is over, we

get you to think. Even if a question isn’t being

1. Current technology is not just unusable; the world is completely devoid of its existence.

2. Only physical technology is gone so if you know now what a toaster is, and how it works, you still know that. You just don’t have one.

3. Manipulations to the earth remain unchanged, but

not manipulations of earth. So a stone statue would disappear, but a soccer field would still be flat.

Lastly, to make this easier, we will pick a singular

tool as opposed to tools in general; one that is very simple in design and in use. We have picked a spanner.

To help this imaginary society recover, let us start

off by thinking about what a spanner is. A spanner is a piece of metal with many uses, such as makeshift weapons,

makeshift

crowbars,

paperweights

makeshift

advanced

hammers,

variable

wrench can even be used as a makeshift thing-on-the-

back-of-hammers); but its main purpose is to be shaped

in such a way that it will fit almost perfectly around bolts. It gives the user enough strength to tighten

Continuing. We currently make machines using, well,

other machines. This is not a good place to be.

Let us think back to when heavy duty machines first started being used. Yes, history majors, that is the

industrial revolution. At least, we believe. We are not history majors. Disregarding that, the machines in the industrial revolution could not have been made

from other machines, simply because they did not exist.

However, they were imperfect because of this. Those machines were made by hand, and some were used to make

slightly better machines, which made better machines which made even better machines, and those machines

made spanners. How were those first machines made? By tongs and hammers. We have been hammering metal into shapes for thousands of years. Simply,

need

hammer

metal

into

imperfect

machines, and work our way up from there. Well, dear

readers, we worked hard for it, but we finally found the end of the chain. We are glad you have stuck with

us so far, and we hope you reached all the ideas we did. Now, we can get to the real point of the article. Actually, we don’t have any hammers, because we lost

said bolts so they will remain firm and hold an object

all our technology. Great. So we have to bang rocks

made. A spanner too big, too small, too soft or too

use those to make less shitty hammers; and we haven’t

together. It has to be durable, strong and accurately brittle is useless. 20 20

our

So how would someone go about making such a beautiful,

against warm metal until we have shitty hammers and

even talked about getting metal for those hammers,

which means we need more tools to mine, refine, and

forge. This is getting out of hand. We think you’ll

all agree when we say that we can just leave it there. To make a spanner from scratch would take a hundred

men who know each a hundred things about spanners and

the making thereof — a hundred years to get anywhere

Why Have A Nationwide External Student Association by Colin Hargreaves

close to what we have in our hands right now.

Whether you are an ancient smith hovering over a

lonely fire or a hungry lecturer huddled around a taunting assignment, we must all pay our respects to those that worked before us. No knowledge is without foundation, both physical and mental. It does not

matter whether you have forgotten how to multiply or if you have forgotten how to keep a pen on you, you will have to work harder to get to the end.

The one thing you must not forget, though: everyone

must save a penny for the ferryman.

Until next time, Hoi Sin Hoi Sin does not exist, has never existed and can never exist. But we keep getting articles.

First Year Advisors Julie Godwin Science, Faculty of Arts and Sciences, School of Science and Technology jgodwin3@une.edu.au Room 324, McClymont Building 02 6773 2057 Nola Holmes Business and Law nola.holmes@une.edu.au Room 31/EBL Building 02 6773 2181

Di Kelton-Chambers Education, Health and Medicine dkeltonc@une.edu.au PBL Reception, Pat O’Shane Building 02 6773 4084

obel Prize winner Nelson Mandela was possibly the world’s most famous external student. While incarcerated in prison for 27 years, he studied Law as a University of London External Student. More examples of Nobel Prize-winning external students are Derek Walcott, Sir FG Watkins, Prof R Coase and Wole Soyinka. This is just looking at the University of London. Some of these would now be called international students, studying externally as they lived far, far away. But what is the difference between ‘distance’ and ‘external’? These terms are often confused and used synonymously, but there is a key difference. An external student does not attend lectures and seminars on campus. The term ‘external’ seems more meaningful as it denotes how the person interacts with the university, while the term ‘distance’ could be anything from a few kilometres to 5000 kilometres. There are also ‘internal’ students who study online for a third trimester and many other mixed mode combinations. For the student, the major distinction between internal and external is possibly whether one is mostly studying on one’s own or whether one congregates with other students for lectures and tutes. The meetings with other students tend to provide a great deal of support, purpose and encouragement. Students living on campus are often provided with meals, room cleaning, sports facilities and entertainment, and in some cases a lot of partying! In contrast, most external students are part-time (75% in 2012), having to hold down a job while studying. They often have a family to attend to, with all the interests and responsibilities that that entails. While the proportion of female internal students has remained the same (53%) over the past 12 years, the proportion of female external students has risen to nearly 66%, two in three. Having finished work, cooked the family dinner and put the kids to bed, it can be hard to find the energy to study. It can also be very lonely, having to cut oneself off from one’s partner or family to focus on studies. The needs and wishes of external students tend to be very different to on-campus students. This year the proportion of external students in Australia is likely to be about the same as the proportion of postgraduates and of overseas students, about one in four. While these other groups are fully represented on student association boards and university councils, external students hardly feature at all. Furthermore, the terms ‘distance’, ‘external’ and ‘online’ do not exist in the Higher Education Acts while all the other distinctions do. With the rise of Massive Open Online Courses (MOOCs) and the lack of space for city universities to physically expand, the number of external students is predicted to rise significantly. Hence, given the vast difference in the interests and issues faced by external, in comparison to internal, students, we have formed the Australian Online and External Students Association. AOESA was formed in late 2012 as a non-profit, national, democratic, pan-university body. Membership is currently free. We are approachable, transparent and always open to suggestions. We may not be able to get students out of incarceration but we will do the best to help your studies run smoothly. For more information: www.aoesa.org 21

(College) RecipeS

by Ashley Pianca

am a huge believer in the saying: ‘the fastest way to someone’s heart is through their stomach’. Food is a marvellous way to bring people together, so what better way to start the year than by making these recipes! Whether you are returning to UNE and catching up with old friends, or you are fresher trying to make new friends, these creations are an excellent addition to a long awaited reunion or even introductions. A brand new year brings with it a sparkling beginning and a multitude of opportunities to be grasped and exploited. I wish you all the courage to rise to the challenges you will be faced with and an insatiable appetite for love, laughter and—of course— food! If you have any recipes you want Ashley to make, email her at collegerecipes@outlook.com

Peanut Caramel Popcorn

Chocolate Coconut Balls

1 packet microwave popcorn

1 packet of plain biscuits (I used Nice) 1 tin condensed milk ¼ cup cocoa 1 cup of coconut, plus extra for rolling

100g granulated peanuts 125g butter ¾ cup brown sugar 2 TBS honey 1.

Pop the popcorn as per the instructions on the packet and empty the contents into a large mixing bowl. Remove the corns that didn’t pop before sprinkling the

Crush biscuits finely before placing them in a bowl with the cocoa and coconut. Stir these ingredients together before adding the condensed milk. Continue stirring until the mixture comes together into a bit of a dough.

Roll the mixture into small balls before coating them in the extra coconut.

These can be eaten right away, but are best left in the fridge to set for about an hour.

peanuts over the popcorn. 2.

Place all remaining ingredients in a large microwavesafe jug.

Heat in the microwave in 1 minute intervals, stirring

drop a small amount into cold water to see if it hardens.

250g packet of marshmallows 200g packet of lollies (I used Snakes Alive) 100g granulated peanuts 200g silvered almonds 350g chocolate (I used dairy milk)

Once the caramel has finished cooking, quickly pour

Cut marshmallows in half and slice your lollies into small pieces. Place them in a large mixing bowl along with the nuts. Roughly mix.

Break or cut chocolate into pieces and place in a microwave safe bowl. Be careful when melting it in the microwave remembering to only leave it in there for 10–20 seconds at a time.

When chocolate is melted and smooth, pour over lollies and nuts and quickly stir until everything is coated.

Tip mixture into a tray lined with baking paper and place in the fridge to set. This should only take about 10 minutes.

between each, until the sugar has dissolved and the mixture has thickened. This should take approximately 10–12 minutes. To test whether the caramel is ready, 4.

it over the popcorn and stir till the popcorn is well coated. 5.

Empty popcorn onto baking paper and spread out to allow the caramel to set. This should only take about 20 minutes.

Tip: Be incredibly careful when handling the caramel. Sugar has a very high boiling point so it will be extremely hot.

Rocky Road

Ashley is studying a Bachelor of Criminology/Bachelor of Laws and can’t go a day without listening to Beyonce.

The UNE International Student Writing Prize The UNE International Student Writing Prize came about through a self-identified need for international students to work on and maintain their English language skills during the summer holiday period. Many UNE international students have expressed a desire to improve or maintain their written English skills outside of the classroom, but often do not have the means or finances to do so. Therefore, this activity aimed to address several key issues facing international students at UNE. Firstly, it offered an additional activity to keep students busy in the holiday (T3) period. Secondly, it gave students a ‘voice’ to express themselves, raise issues relevant to them (in a choice of writing styles) and give them a chance to contribute to the Nucleus. Finally, it provided students with a chance to win some English tutoring from a qualified ESL teacher. Sithara Ralapanawe, a PhD student at UNE, wrote the winning poem, called ‘The Joy Is’. Wen Lie won the News Articles/Social Issues category with his entry ‘Culture Policy on Tourist Areas’. The joy is… walking barefoot on green grass— feeling fresh dew drops. Joy is… watching the sun go down— so gloriously— then the veil of darkness engulfing you Joy is… just closing your eyes and hearing a call Photo credit: chensiyuan

of a Cuckoo.

Extract from ‘Culture Polocy on Tourist Areas’, which details the author’s personal experience in the famous area of Fenghuang, in Hunan Province, China.

Joy is… seeing the clouds passing by and stars twinkling in the night. Joy is… Jumping into waves rolling to the beach kissing the sandy beach.

ur hotel man, a middle-aged man called Yang, drove us with his rickshaw on the road near the river. The night scene here was so amazing: a small river crossed this village, it flowed quietly and peacefully. Several wooden boats were on the river, boatmen were singing a local song which sounded original. On the two sides of this river, many stilted house were there. Actually, they were not totally on the sides, half of them were in the river on stilts. Yang told us they had lived in this kind of house for hundreds of years. In the past, the poor could not afford an entire house, so they constructed half of the house on the river, using stilts to support it. But now, it became a heritage. Government made policies to protect this architecture. It is beautiful. I looked at so many stilted houses and hoped I could stay in here my whole life.

Joy is… the feeling of warmth of small feet against your skin and you smile— not knowing why. So my friend, Joy is… everywhere. Just stop and feel it It is there… — Sithara Ralapanawe

Yang smiled and said, “All the tourists said so but we cannot feel like this way, we even cannot get an air conditioner in this house because it is partly made of bamboo which makes conditioners useless. And living beyond the river cause much inconvenience, in summer mosquitoes are really terrible”. Yang also asked us about modern life in big cities and he seemed to envy us. Yang said local people here live on running family inns and restaurants, although now they got enough money for new houses but they were not allowed to build the houses they wanted. On the other hand, they did not want to demolish the stilted house they were living in. “Maybe you can buy another apartment in big city and live there, just retain someone to look after your inn,” my friend suggested. He shook his head and told us his family lived here since they were born and they know nothing about the outside world, although they had travelled to big cities before, they just found they did not even know how to take a bus. They all have poor education and are only familiar with the life style here… For village people in Fenghuang, their rich life is complex: on the one hand, they must keep these traditional but not comfortable houses to attract tourists; on the other hand, they want to get better living conditions and get more education. — Wen Lie

New Beginnings

By Lauren Harrington

New Beginnings

by Lauren Harrington

t the start of every year, before coming back to Armidale to commence my studies, I always say that I’m going to have a big clean out of my room. You know, get rid of all of those things that I’ve been holding on to just because one day I might need them for something important (when am I ever going to use a protractor again? When?), or that I’ve forgotten were there (hello cute pencil case full of awesome coloured gel pens), or that I didn’t even know I had (a floor length denim skirt? Mum, why would you think I would want to wear that some day?!). But I always put it off because I’d been packing for living at college, so I only took the things I needed and left everything else behind, knowing that I could come back to it later. Because I still had my room, at my house. This year is different. I’m not going back to college. I’m moving into a house. I have to take everything with me. And so, while packing to move out of my childhood home, for good, I came to this conclusion: I own a lot of wank. It’s not at hardcore hoarder levels, but it’s

getting there. It’s softcore hoarding. There is everything from electronic labellers, to primary school art projects, to that beanie an aunty made and I didn’t want to wear because it was green and orange. I spent several hours going through old school books alone. That was fun. And I think my handwriting has actually gotten worse. I also seemed to find a lot of notes and scribbles to and from friends. It’s cringeworthy and embarrassing and wonderful, finding stuff like that. A lot of it is quotes from TV shows (clearly we were learning about Hamlet when I went through my British comedy discovery phase), and terrible puns (which out of context don’t seem very funny). Mostly I’m a little alarmed at the amount of times I actually use ‘lol’ unironically. Obviously 2009 was not my greatest moment. But it also was. I didn’t have so much to worry about then. Well, I did, but it all seems insignificant compared to my worries now.

Worrying about the guy who slapped my butt on the way to class and then asked out two of my friends all on the same day doesn’t really compare to ‘How am I going to pay my rent this month?’. It seems fitting, then, that I discover all of this crap as I am about to embark on a new chapter of my life. It’s kind of comforting to look back and see how far I’ve come. It gives me hope that even though things seem difficult now, they might get better. So here’s to a new year with new beginnings. May it be filled with more puns, more money, more gel pens, and less questionable 90s fashion choices. Lauren studies Media and Communications and probably wears pajamas more than is socially acceptable. Her interests include marathoning TV shows and telling people how much she loves Batman.

REVIEW

THE JEZABELS THE BRINK by Alana Young

he Jezabels are a four-piece alt-rock band (and now slightly discorock) from Sydney. Their EP trilogy was one of the best things I’ve ever listened to. Their 2011 debut album Prisoner quite rightly received piles of recognition and awards. And their new album The Brink is the album that I’ve been waiting for for three years. Lead singer Hayley Mary is an outspoken fan of ABBA, and that love of disco comes across in almost every track of The Brink. The favoured sounds of the other band members (metal, classical, and country music) come together with this sparkling synth-pop to create a flourishing sound of power and elegance that drives the album on. From the fast guitar-anddrums-heavy opening title track ‘The Brink’, which is strongly reminiscent of the sounds of the EPs, to the boogiest disco track ‘Beat To Beat’, to the soaring delicate piano ballad ‘Marianne’, The Brink never ceased to amaze and delight this joyful fan. The lyrics of The Brink are perhaps the biggest change between albums. The Jezabels’—or, more specifically, Hayley Mary’s—lyrics have never been easy to decipher, with Mary explaining that they were never specifically about her. For The Brink, however, the lyrics do focus on Mary, providing an insight into ‘a year in the life of ’. “This one is personal,” said Mary. Which makes lyrics like ‘Bring back my spirit and my soul’ all the more powerful and yearning.

It may have been a three year wait, but no part of The Brink is not worth that wait. I’d wait twice that time if it meant another album this good. Although, if you’re reading this Jezabels, I’d prefer to not wait half that long. Favourite songs: Are you sure you’re ready for this list? Alright; here are my Must Listens: ‘The Brink’, ‘Beat To Beat’, ‘No Country’, ‘Got Velvet’, ‘All You Need’. If you’re already a fan of The Jezabels these songs will show off the band’s progression since Prisoner, and if you’ve never listened to them before then they’ll convert you. Favourite lyric: If I had it again I’d want to know what every part of your body is for.

The Secondhand Bookshop

Tune!FM

Supporting a sustainable tertiatry experience

The student voice

Your Student Association the elephant in the room

Uni4Me

Nucleus

Service Support Social

The student paper 25

The Adventures of Arabella Henderson UNE Time Detective Episode 3: a wASTE OF tIME

Check out her blog, where she promises you’ll find lots more to tide you over until the next episode of Arabella!

By Kate Wood

The Man In Room 13: www.themaninroom13. wordpress.com

It was a typical Monday morning at the New England University College…

irds were chirping, bees were buzzing, students were sitting quietly in the chemistry lab and the narrator was recapping the

events of the previous episode. When we left them, Arabella Henderson, UNE Time Detective, and her colleague, The General, were attempting to ascertain what criminal element had been causing stains on the beautiful yellow lockers and bench tops of the Chemistry Department. Their success in this, their first time-travelling mystery, would save oppressed chemistry students thousands of pounds (because, if you recall, all this is happening in 1950, before sensible money). A young man with totes fashionable horn-rimmed glasses had just attracted the detectives’ attention. He had discovered a Clue and was anxious to contribute it to the investigation. ‘Now that we’re all reacquainted with the story,’ said Hornrims, ‘Come and look at this Clue.’ Borrowing The General’s giant pocket magnifying glass, Arabella hauled it over to the window to look. Sure enough, there was a Clue there. With the help of twelve students to hold up the magnifying glass, Arabella examined the Clue. ‘This is a fascinating Clue,’ she said. ‘It blows this whole Locker Stain mystery wide open! Come and see, The General.’ The General joined her by the window and looked carefully at the Clue. ‘I have never seen such a convenient clue,’ he said. ‘It’s almost as if it were placed here for narrative convenience.’ ‘Indeed,’ Arabella agreed. ‘But what does it mean?’ asked Professor Hardnose. ‘It means,’ The General announced, ‘That the Butler did it.’ ‘How dare you!?’ Mr Butler shouted, at a volume somewhat out of proportion with the magnitude of the accusation. ‘I’ll have you know that I am a war veteran, Sir.’ ‘It’s true,’ said Hardnose. ‘Mr Butler won a VC, you

Like Kate’s writing?

know.’ ‘The real Mr Butler may well be a war hero,’ said Arabella. ‘But this isn’t really Mr Butler at all!’ She pulled off the lab assistant’s latex mask, revealing his true identity. There was a gasp from the assembled students. ‘The zombie who lives at the abandoned amusement park!’ exclaimed Hornrims. ‘Nooooooo!’ screamed the zombie. ‘And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids.’ ‘I am shocked!’ Hardnose declared, ‘I am shocked indeed that my own lab assistant would turn out to be a zombie who deliberately makes mess in my attractive yellow laboratory. I’ll decimate you for this, Butler!’ The zombie Butler raised a tentative hand ‘Do you mean that you will completely destroy me?’ he asked. ‘Or merely that you will have ninety-percent of me execute the remaining ten percent?’ ‘Um…’ said Professor Hardnose. ‘I have no idea.’

Sure

enough,

the

wide skirt. She looked amazing in it, and the style is

‘We should go dig for that body,’ Arabella an episode and a half and we came here on a mission.’ ‘You go ahead,’ The General agreed. ‘I’ll carry the Time Bike.’ Leaving Professor Hardnose and his students to argue over who had allowed the zombie to escape, why he had been staining benches in the first place and whether or not polka dots are super cute, Arabella and The General sought out the future site of the new college. ‘This looks about right,’ said The General. Arabella agreed. ‘Let’s start digging.’ ‘We don’t have a spade.’ And so it was that Arabella Henderson and The General climbed back aboard their time travelling exercise bike to go back to the future and pick up some spades, thus wasting two entire episodes of their serial on total nonsense. To be continued… To catch up with The Adventures of Arabella Henderson go to www.nucleus.org.au or follow these QR codes to Episode 01 and 02.

actually back in fashion now, so it definitely wouldn’t have looked out of place in a modern night club. In

Episode 01: The Convenient Plot Device

fact, 50s fashion as a whole is kind of coming back. They did some fabulous things with hair. Distracted by fashion, the author temporarily forgot what was happening in the story, but fortunately Hornrims didn’t like polka dots and he retained his focus. ‘A limb is probably more than ten percent,’ said Hornrims. ‘We’d need to measure the entire mass of this zombie lab assistant and then keep removing and weighing parts until he was decimated.’ ‘What zombie lab assistant?’ asked Professor Hardnose. ‘He’s gone.’

has

whispered to The General. ‘We’ve already had over

‘How can a person execute ten percent of

woman in one of those polka-dotted dresses with a

Butler

absquatulated.

themselves?’ asked Hornrims. ‘They could chop off a limb?’ suggested a young

imposter

Episode 02: A Stained Reputation

O n this her debut M adam A dam , presents of the academic year .

issue ,

own mistress of mysticism ,

her predictions and advice for the opening

ARIES

I see political success in your future as your leadership planets, Jupiter and Saturn, part to make room for your huge ego. Perhaps you’ll join a local party branch, run for a position in UNE’s student association, or run a smear campaign against that kid from primary school who grew up to be more attractive than you. Your options for supremacy are virtually limitless.

Taurus

Taurus is usually seen as a sign that craves security, and if you’re having trouble shaking the feeling that you’re a child trapped in a terrifying adult’s world, you’re not alone. Your history tutor? She sometimes says spaghetti as ‘busketti’. The third year who showed you around when you arrived? He has an Action Man collection that would make you cry. And your biology professor? He’s six years old.

Gemini

Balance is a key feature in your 2014. A year’s first term is generally filled with college functions, pub nights, and social gatherings galore! Enjoy them while you can, but don’t let them get the better of you. While nauseating 3am rounds of King’s Cup may be alluring, the stars and Tyra Banks have conferred, and hangovers are definitely not in this year.

Cancer

I see a frustrating encounter with Centrelink in your near future. A well-meaning but ill-equipped consultant will misinterpret everything about your application and leave you destitute for some time. But fear not, a few three hour calls and a form or two will get you back on instant noodles and old textbooks in no time. What Henderson poverty line?

Leo

UNE’ s

This year is about setting goals and achieving them, whether they’re for assessment marks, new friends made, or lectures actually attended. Some will be easy, but some will require determination, planning, and maybe a liquid refreshment or seven. Who knows,

work hard enough, and you could end up UNE’s Vice Chancellor. I hear they’re hiring…

Virgo

The New Year brings new expectations—don’t let them get them get the better of you. Living the twentysomething student life is not cute if the stress has you feeling sixty-something by graduation. Remember to breathe: exam results aren’t the end of the world. Unless you’re a med student, in which case people’s lives are literally in your hands. No pressure.

Libra

Lectures, Tutorials, Labs, Quizzes, Assignments—so much to do, so little time! Hot tip: if zipping from place to place isn’t your style, online lectures are the ultimate way to unleash your inner hermit! Throw in a bar fridge and a year’s supply of cereal, and with a bit of work, soon you’ll be a colostomy bag away from doing away with mobility altogether!

Scorpio

I see potential social conflict in your future. Remember, in every environment, there’s always a chance there’ll be people you won’t ‘click’ with, and university is no exception. Your lecturers or tutors won’t always seem like the most inspiring or friendly people, but they’ve done a lot to earn their place as your academic superior. If you think you’d do things differently, don’t get bitter, just get better!

Sagittarius

The world is your oyster, and you know it! But remember—some find oysters to be an acquired taste, requiring persistence, while others will never munch a marine mollusc. If your classes turn you off, take a left and head in another direction! Unless you want to graduate with a degree in denial and dissatisfaction…

Capricorn

This year, take a step out of your comfort zone. The library or the barstool may be your haunt of choice, but find someplace that gives you a new perspective

Absquatulate So you threw a sandwich at someone. You may need to leave with haste. What can you do? You might like to leave quickly, but that seems to bland. Abscond? That is too cliché. What you need to do is ABSQUATULATE! Which quite simply put means leaving rather abruptly. So you throw your sandwich at the Federal Minister for Industry and then absquatulate from the premises in a orderly, but somewhat flailing manner. This will ensure not only a fast retreat, but leaving the Minister in such a state of bewilderment that he could not possibly understand what it is you have just done or what science is (not that he understood that in the first place).

on life. Pick up a new hobby, like knitting or catwalking, or join a doomsday cult. You could expand your social circles, be open to new relationships, or even befriend an owl. I hear they’re a real hoot.

Aquarius

Universities are places of tremendous diversity. If you’ve an obscure interest, chances are there’s a club for it. A fan of international cinema? Join the Foreign Films Society! Experience with cadavers? The New England Volunteer Morticians are accepting new members now. Like milk? The UNE Milk-Drinkers Collective meet twice a month. You’ll find your place in no time.

Pisces

This year you’ll be presented with countless new opportunities for friendship and closeness, but be sure not to sacrifice your own needs and experiences to support a drunken cohort who look to you for free drinks and a designated driver. Support may be the bedrock of any relationship, but goon-vomit-chic does not complement a college jersey.

UNE Horoscope Spotlight: VC Jim Barber

I see great change in your future. Perhaps a new haircut, perhaps a move down south— who knows! The future is yours to seize and we suggest you carpe that diem! Opportunities like this don’t come around too often and your happiness is the only thing that really matters— everything else is ancillary.

Decimated I often hear when something is destroyed people uttering that the subject matter has been ‘decimated’ – particularly if it is almost completely annihilated. Well, I should really stop you right there dear reader, and just put your little heart at rest. Decimated does not mean almost totally destroyed, on the contrary, it means that one tenth has been destroyed. See the word actually comes from a Roman form of punishment, in which, if a legion failed in its duty it would be lined up and every tenth man would be slaughtered by the other nine-tenths. Cheery folks the Romans. Hence, the army was decimated. So next time you see something is destroyed, do you really think it has been decimated or just three-quartered? Because if you are not sure, I may hunt you down and decimate one part of your anatomy. 27