SPECIAL 4-PAGE FEATURE
SPORTS: Local boarder dudes don “buckets” before busting out session. A2 Son forced Wednesday, August 1, 2012
to help father without pay; social schedule thrown into chaos. A15 A3
UNBC student walks extra 3.048 metres to use crosswalk Student: “Wasn’t even winded.”
Janine SAMRA The pristine beauty of a Northern B.C. lake was shattered by spontaneous and vociferous hilarity this weekend.
Dramatic weekend boating incident involves “bright orange” life jackets, mild windburn
Nicole Smith, Prince George resident: “I could do this all day!”
Onlookers say: Group wearing bright orange life jackets at time of incident.
SANDY MAH
RHYSE THOMSON
A group of local residents returned from their day-long boating trip on an area lake laughing, joking around and generally enjoying each other’s company. The group was allegedly seen boating, swimming and water-skiing on the lake throughout the day. Onlookers reported that the entire group was wearing CSA-approved life jackets. The life jackets appeared securely fastened at all times. “Looked like they were having a great time,” said boat launch supervi-
sor Bill Donnelly. “I heard a lot of laughter. And it was laughing with, not laughing at, you know?” Donnelly confirmed the group was wearing life jackets for the entire day. “Yup, they put ’em on soon as they were on the boat,” Donnelly said. “The good ones – big and full-sized. Bright orange. Everyone put them on, without any fuss.” While witnesses applauded the decision to stay safe on the water, some suggested it came at an exceptionally heavy cost. “Uhhh . . . that’s not what I meant at all,” said Donnelly obstinately. “OK, sure, one of the guys might have gotten a little windburn. He’s a little red on his cheeks, you know? That’s about it.”
Despite the threat of tender, sore cheeks for the next 48 hours, Donnelly insisted the group had the right attitude about water safety. “You always hear about ‘tragedy on the water’ – you know, people go out in a boat, not wearing any life jackets, thinking nothing will ever happen. They end up hurt, or worse,” Donnelly mused. “Well, this was about as far from a tragedy as possible. Everybody laughing, having a good time. Wasn’t a tragedy. It was, like . . . reality. Yeah, a reality TV show. That’s what it was.” When informed that the opposite of tragedy is, in fact, a comedy, Donnelly issued a terse reply. “Oh,” he said.
If you think serious injuries only happen to other people, have a word with yourself.
Tim BOOTH
UNBC student Nicole Smith deliberately decided to use the crosswalk at Fourth Avenue and Highway 16 instead of jaywalking late Thursday afternoon. The decision added an extra 3.048 metres to her journey. “Sure, I could have run across the street,” admitted Smith with confidence. “I mean, I’m fit. I’m quick on my feet. I came in second in my high school in the 100-metre. But then I thought to myself: why risk it?” When asked whether her snazzy new cross-trainers were a factor behind her impressive street-crossing performance, Smith had no comment.