December 7, 2016 - Pittsburgh City Paper

Fares, zones, boarding, made simple. See page 7.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.07/12.14.2016

EVENTS 12.8 – 7pm MY PERFECT BODY: DOUGLAS CRIMP AND BEFORE PICTURES READING The Warhol theater FREE parking in The Warhol lot FREE

12.16 – 10pm MY PERFECT BODY: BODY BEATS DANCE PARTY FEATURING PRINCE RAMA Presented in conjunction with the exhibition Andy Warhol: My Perfect Body, The Warhol and VIA present Body Beats, an after-hours dance party featuring Prince Rama.

Tickets $15/$12 Members

12.26 – 10am—5pm SPECIAL HOLIDAY HOURS The Warhol will be open on Monday, December 26, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.

1.10 – 8pm FORCED ENTERTAINMENT: TOMORROW’S PARTIES New Hazlett Theater Co-presented with Carnegie Nexus, as part of the Strange Times series and The New Hazlett Theater Tickets $15/$12 students & members or two shows (Forced Entertainment: Real Magic on January 11) for $20/$15 students & members

1.11 – 8pm FORCED ENTERTAINMENT: REAL MAGIC New Hazlett Theater Co-presented with The New Hazlett Theater Tickets $15/$12 Members & students or two shows (Forced Entertainment: Tomorrow’s Parties on January 10) for $20/$15 Members & students

Visit us without paying museum admission.

Open during museum hours. Call 412.237.8303.

The Andy Warhol Museum receives state arts funding support through a grant from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, a state agency funded by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency and The Heinz Endowments. Further support is provided by the Allegheny Regional Asset District.

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THIS WEEK

“WE NEED TO MAKE ROOM FOR MORE PEOPLE OF COLOR.”

ONLINE

www.pghcitypaper.com

In this week’s podcast, Margaret Welsh and Alex Gordon sit down for a chat with Edward Banchs, author of Heavy Metal Africa.

Listen online at www.pghcitypaper.com.

Duquesne broke a 15-year City Game losing streak by upsetting the Pitt Panthers.

Check out our slideshow from the game at www.pghcitypaper.com.

Estimates indicate as many as 2.5 million U.S. citizens are living with the debilitating illness known as ME/CFS, yet little is known about it.

{CP PHOTO BY JOHN ALTDORFER}

Ricardo Vila-Rogers in the Stephen Collins Foster theater at Pitt

Read the stories of patients and their families this week in our latest CP Longform piece at www.pghcitypaper.com.

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HIS PAST JULY, Little Lake Theatre

Company staged a production of Anna in the Tropics, Nilo Cruz’s Pulitzer-winning 2003 play about Cuban immigrants, and cast all the roles with white actors. That casting provoked a response on Facebook from Sol Crespo, a Puerto Rico-born, New York-based theater artist who often works in Pittsburgh.

Seeing white actors in roles written for people of color “makes me feel like I don’t matter, like I’m invisible, like my voice doesn’t need to be heard,” she later said.

Crespo’s posts attracted the attention of others concerned about diversity and equitable casting in local theater. These perennial issues also flared regionally last year, when playwright Lloyd Suh withdrew permission for Clarion University to stage his Jesus in India because white actors were

cast as Indian characters. And last summer, New York-based Bay Street Theater Co. canceled a performance of The Prince of Egypt after critics noted that the musical, set in Africa, had an all-white cast. Controversy over equitable casting has also touched Hollywood, with white actors playing nonwhite characters in recent films like Exodus: Gods and Kings and Doctor Strange.

In wake of controversial shows, theater artists gather to discuss equitable casting {BY DREW PRASKOVICH} Now Crespo is among those organizing Equitable Casting: A Town Hall for Pittsburgh’s Theater Community, on

Mon., Dec. 12, at the University of Pittsburgh’s Charity Randall Theatre. The free event, open to the public, aims to explore authors’ rights, representation, racial justice in theater, and the consequences of cultural appropriation.

Diep Tran, an associate editor at American Theatre magazine, will facilitate what organizers call a “firestarter” panel including Crespo and four locally based artists: performer Siovhan Christensen; playwright Gab Cody; actor, director and playwright Monteze Freeland; and Adil Mansoor, of Hatch Arts Collective. And in breakout groups led by City Theatre artistic producer Reginald Douglas, guests will share ideas and resources.

The program is hosted by the Dramatists Guild of Pittsburgh in partnership with Pitt, Bricolage Production Company, CONTINUES ON PG. 08

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.07/12.14.2016

1/1/ 17 simple.portauthority.org

Fares, zones, boarding, made simple.

One Zone. One Fare.

Base fare will be $2.50 with a ConnectCard.

Cash riders will pay $2.75 per ride.

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Transfer for $1.00 with a ConnectCard. $1 in stored cash value will be automatically deducted from your balance within 3 hours of your last tap. Cash customers will pay a full fare to transfer.

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Board through the front door of the bus and pay as you enter. Every time, everywhere. This means there will be no free fare zone for bus riders. You can still ride the T for free anytime from First Avenue Station to Allegheny Station.

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the Greater Pittsburgh Arts Council and Indiana University of Pennsylvania. The idea is to show how equitable casting affects everyone, accountability is essential, and inclusivity is required to advance theater in Pittsburgh. Co-organizer Ricardo VilaRoger, a performer, director and theaterarts professor at Pitt, wants the dialogue “to raise awareness and offer guidance to those who are struggling to attract more artists of color.”

Such was the challenge facing Little Lake with Anna in the Tropics — the first work by a Latino playwright ever staged by the long-running, Canonsburg-based troupe. Artistic director Jena Oberg says Little Lake had always intended to use Latino actors in the production, but “[t]wo of the Latino actors cast dropped [out],” she says. She adds that the Latino community in Washington County is small, and that “papers that published our casting notice took the phrase ‘Cuban actors’ out of the press release.” When Crespo posted her objections on Little Lake’s Facebook page, Little Lake initially responded, in part, “Anna is not a play about being Cuban — it is a play about love and relationships, and the power of ideas through language,” before deleting the entire thread.

Today, Oberg tells City Paper that the controversy over the show hasn’t “impacted next season, and we will choose [plays] based on what we want to do artistically and hope more resources will be created to connect companies and performers.”

She says she fully supports the Equitable Casting town hall and “its goals to connect the community.”

Vila-Roger emphasizes that the response to Little Lake’s Anna was not an attack on the company, but rather the call-

ing-out of a bigger problem. The Dec. 12 town hall’s organizers agree that if companies want to do shows about people of color, they should do everything in their power to find the right actors, but if they cannot cast the show appropriately, they should cancel those productions. (Full disclosure: Some Facebook critics of Little Lake’s Anna in the Tropics noted that City Paper’s own positive review of the production failed to mention the casting of whites as Latinos.)

EQUITABLE CASTING: A TOWN HALL FOR PITTSBURGH’S THEATER COMMUNITY 6-9 p.m. Mon., Dec. 12. Charity Randall Theatre, Stephen Foster Memorial, 4301 Forbes Ave., Oakland. Free. Register at www.pittsburghartscouncil.org.

The problem isn’t solely “whitewashing” — casting whites as nonwhite characters — but also representation: what sort of characters and experiences get portrayed, and how. “We need to make room for more people of color,” says Bricolage general manager Jackie Baker. “This will continue to be a problem as long as we aren’t mindful about who is in the room, and, most importantly, who is not.”

Indeed, a lack of diversity of plays, playwrights, producers and directors has long been at least as big a concern as who’s on stage. In his 1996 speech “The Ground on Which I Stand,” playwright August Wilson famously blasted color-blind casting — often used to put black actors in roles originally conceived for whites — as cultural imperialism. (“To cast us in the role of mimics is to deny us our own competence.”) The real challenge, said the CONTINUES ON PG. 10

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ROLL CALL, CONTINUED FROM PG. 08

What does your child buy at convenience stores?

The RAND Corporation, in Pittsburgh, is conducting a research study to learn about what children, ages 11–17, purchase at convenience stores. Participation requires one 20 minute phone/internet survey and one 90 minute visit to the RAND study center.

Children who complete the study will be compensated for their time and effort with $50 in gift certificates. Parking and travel compensation is provided.

If you are interested and want to learn more about the study, please call 412-545-3005, e-mail c-storestudy@rand.org or visit us at www.rand.org/storestudy.

Pittsburgh-born Pulitzer-winner, is to support black voices: “We do not need colorblind casting; we need some theatres to develop our playwrights.”

Notwithstanding the unique case of Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton — a megahit hip-hop musical in which the founding fathers are played by men of color — ours remains a world where most producers and playwrights are white. That puts nonwhite performers especially at risk of stereotyping. Crespo, for instance, says that in casting rooms she’s been told, “You don’t look Puerto Rican,” that she’s “too dark” or “not dark enough,” and been asked to be more “spicy.” So when a company stages that rare play written, for instance, about Cuban characters, by a Cuban-born playwright (as was Anna in the Tropics), and then casts it with whites, it is doubly painful.

Asked about diversity in casting in Pittsburgh, Tomé Cousin, an internationally known performer and choreographer

and Carnegie Mellon University associate professor, says, “certain artistic directors in the city should be ashamed.”

“People must speak up,” adds Cousin, who’s writing a book on diversity and nontraditional casting. “Artistic directors and boards [of directors] must be aware something has to happen, not should.”

Vila-Rogers adds that some companies select works that are primarily white and then each season stage one “diversity show,” usually one with an all-black cast. He doesn’t consider this diversity; rather, he says, “it’s more like segregation.”

But responsibility in casting extends beyond race. “Theater is still considered an elitist art form,” says Vila-Rogers, citing high ticket prices. And Crespo recalls reading about a production of Marathan of Hope, a musical about an amputee, in which the lead role was played by an ablebodied man. “We need,” she says, “to make space for actors with disabilities.”

“ARTISTIC DIRECTORS AND BOARDS [OF DIRECTORS] MUST BE AWARE SOMETHING HAS TO HAPPEN, NOT SHOULD.”

I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM C O R P O R AT I O N

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.07/12.14.2016

New Year’s Eve in Wonderland!

Will you go MAD?

Lodging Packages Include:

• 2 Nights stay • Breakfast both mornings • Tickets to New Year’s Eve in Wonderland & More!

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From the majestic Carnegie Trees and Neapolitan presepio to spectacular exhibitions including Hélio Oiticica: To Organize Delirium and Women of Vision, there's something for everyone at Carnegie Museums of Art and Natural History this holiday season!

Holidays

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17 16–January 9, 20 December 1, 20 Sponsored by

View full schedules at: CMOA.ORG/HOLIDAYS CARNEGIEMNH.ORG/VISIT/HOLIDAYS

two of the four carnegie museums of pittsburgh

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HEALTHY RIDER Local cyclist takes on the Dirty Dozen in weight-loss journey {BY RYAN DETO} ON NOV. 26, hundreds of cyclists climbed

up a hill in Stanton Heights as part of Pittsburgh’s iconic Dirty Dozen bicycle race. The course traverses the city and its suburbs, and cyclists must climb 13 of the area’s steepest hills along its 50mile length.

On this cold, gloomy day, most cyclists were riding ultra-light bikes that weigh less than five pounds and wearing trim-fitting spandex and other specialized gear. But one rider took a different approach. Jeremiah Sullivan rode up the Stanton Heights hill on a 37-pound Healthy Ride bike-share bike, wearing a flannel shirt, jeans and a hoodie.

“This is what I am used to, this is what I trained on, it would feel like cheating any other way,” said Sullivan as he rested at the top of Woodbine Street, joking about his atypical bike-race appearance. “I should have put a keg of beer in this thing.”

Sullivan is not your typical cyclist.

He’s not a spandex-wearing, weekendonly recreational rider, nor is he a rippedjeans-clad, fixed-gear city commuter. He got on a bike to lose weight.

By taking to two wheels for an hour each weekday, either on a Healthy Ride or a secondhand bike he owns, Sullivan has lost more than 50 pounds in the last year. (Six months before that, he lost another 50 pounds thanks to a diet.)

He is now 106 pounds lighter than his previous 300-pound weight. Additionally, he has gained a new appreciation for the city from a cyclist’s viewpoint, and has explored trails, hills and almost every city neighborhood.

{CP PHOTO BY RYAN DETO}

Jeremiah Sullivan (right) rides up a hill during the Dirty Dozen bike race.

“I was a large person my entire life,” says Sullivan in an interview with Pittsburgh City Paper. “I have lost 50 pounds [riding bikes], but I also want to be part of the community and part of the revitalization of the city.”

Sullivan grew up in Vergennes, a small town along Otter Creek in the middle of Vermont. He says there are hills there, but there aren’t any paved roads that travel up them, so biking up slopes is only a recent passion.

Despite his progress, he was upset he didn’t complete the entire Dirty Dozen race. Impressively, Sullivan finished nine of 13 hills on an extremely heavy bike whose lowest gear pales in comparison to the low gears of specialized bikes. (The lower the gear, the easier it is to pedal.) His downfall

was Canton Avenue in Beechview, which is arguably the steepest paved road in the country. “The bike might as well be a one-speed up that hill,” says Sullivan.

Two days after the race, when Sullivan spoke to CP, he was kicking himself for not finishing. “The hard part of this is that there is another 363 days until I can prove I can do it,” he said.

But his wife, Emily Sullivan, is easier on him. She is fully supportive of his weight-loss goals and passion for biking. “I told him the other day, ‘You are not the man I married, but in a good way,’” she says.

Emily Sullivan says her husband has become much more active since starting his lunchtime riding routine. “It has been a huge improvement in my life, he

“I SHOULD HAVE PUT A KEG OF BEER IN THIS THING.”

is so much more active,” she says. “Just in general he has more energy to do things.”

Together, they have two young children, and both parents work. Because of his work and family responsibilities, Sullivan has limited time for exercising, so he decided to dedicate his lunch break to burning calories. And with a Healthy Ride station right outside his office, he took to the trails and beyond.

Sullivan says his typical rides range from traveling from Millvale to the old penitentiary beyond the McKees Rocks Bridge on the Ohio River Trail, to riding from Point State Park to Bloomfield. He says one of his favorite trips is riding to the top of the Upper Hill District, for great views of the East End that other people outside the neighborhood rarely experience.

“Seeing some of the neighborhoods that people don’t often see makes me want to see all the neighborhoods,” says Sullivan.

Healthy Ride director David White, who provided water bottles and cheered on Sullivan during the Dirty Dozen, says this goal is something that could catch on to all bikeshare riders. “[Sullivan] captures that sentiment perfectly,” says White. “Pittsburgh is pretty remarkable. With 90 neighborhoods, it’s difficult for anybody to know all the gems, but getting on a bike is a great way to see as much as you can.”

And White says that Sullivan showcases an added, unexpected, benefit to riding bike-share bikes. “To be honest, I would never [have] envisioned that someone would have that much improvement in their health, but it makes sense.

It was a delightful surprise,” White says.

Sullivan plans to conquer the Dirty Dozen next year on a Healthy Ride bike, and his wife is confident he can finish.

“When he started this weight-loss thing, I thought he would lose a bit [of] weight and plateau,” she says. “But he has just really changed so much. I don’t see him ever going back to his old habits.”

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Handcrafted and imported gifts, Santa’s house and photos, live entertainment and the BNY Mellon Season of Lights.

holiday saturdays Free trolley and carriage rides, free Downtown parking* and free family fun. *Pittsburgh Parking Authority garages only

Downtown Shopping Downtown is home to retailers of apparel, jewelry, toys, gifts, and much more!

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kidsplay Holiday weekends Free activities, free trolley rides, short films, improv comedy, crafts, stories and more!

Energy Flow Art Installation Rachel Carson Bridge Nightly throughout the Holiday Season See one of Pittsburgh's famous bridges shine with a special light installation.

The project was commissioned for the 2016 Pittsburgh Bicentennial celebration and is presented by Covestro.

for a full schedule of events visit DowntownPittsburgh.com/Holidays

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SAFE ZONE Pittsburgh City Council takes step to protect LGBT minors with conversion therapy ban {BY REBECCA ADDISON} WHEN PARKER HOWARD was in middle school, growing up in Kentucky, he went to a summer church mission camp. It wasn’t his first year at the camp, but that summer was different from the others.

“In the middle of the mission camp,” says Howard, “they sat us down in this room and they were telling us that we were horrible people and that we were going to go to hell.”

Sins discussed included everything from breaking the Ten Commandments to having an eating disorder. Howard’s sin: being gay.

That day he was outed by his youth pastor and subjected to a lecture about the “evils of homosexuality” in front of his peers.

“I did not go back after that,” Howard says.

Years later, working as a coordinator at Pittsburgh’s Gay Lesbian Community Center, Howard says what he experienced was a form of conversion therapy, a practice of psychological treatment or spiritual counseling meant to change a person’s sexual orientation from homo-

sexual or bisexual to heterosexual.

Last week, Pittsburgh City Council proposed a city-wide ban on conversion therapy, following in the footsteps of states like Vermont, California, New Jersey, Illinois and Oregon, as well as cities including Miami, Cincinnati and Seattle. The local ordinance would prohibit licensed mental-health practitioners from conducting conversion therapy on minors.

“With the incoming [presidential] administration, with the history Mike Pence has, we thought it was a good time to make a stand and to make certain on the books here in Pittsburgh it states loud and clear we’re opposed to conversion therapy

being performed on minors,” says Council President Bruce Kraus, the city’s first openly gay councilor. “They’re saying that LBGTQIA people are flawed, that we’re inherently damaged. I think that’s dangerous and offensive.”

Conversion therapy is opposed by the American Psychiatric Association, the American Medical Association, the American College of Physicians and the National Association of Social Workers. Some mental-health professionals, spiritual organizations and more, however, do still support the practice. For instance, asked about the Pittsburgh ordinance, Pittsburgh Theological Seminary professor Robert Gagnon says, “It would be a great shame for a politician to deny self-determination to adolescents.”

Its advocates, however, say the ordinance is a big step in protecting LGBT youth, especially in light of the election of Vice President Mike Pence, a former Indiana governor who as a candidate for Congress once supported the use of federal funding to treat people seeking to change their sexual behavior. The legislation, however, would not ban conversion-therapy practices in the church, where many are impacted.

“If a faith leader wants to tell an individual anything — you will go to hell if you use contraception, or have an abortion, or if you’re gay — they have a constitutionally protected right to say whatever they want to say,” says Shannon Minter, a civil-rights attorney and the legal director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights in San Francisco. “It’s very unfortunate for young people, because they generally have no choice in the matter and are sent there by their parents; and we know from the research that the numberone most damaging thing that can happen to an LBGT young person is to be told by a person of faith that they’re going to be condemned and rejected by God because of who they are. It is deadly.”

Howard says he’s heard stories of just how deadly the practice can be. He says his boyfriend witnessed the devastating impact when he was subjected to conversion therapy as a child in his South Carolina church.

“He could tell that the numbers would dwindle as it went on,” Howard says. “But it wasn’t because the kids were doing better; it wasn’t because they were released from the program. It was because they no longer existed on the planet. Conversion therapy has a very high death rate. There are kids that go into conversion therapy and kill themselves.”

The American Psychological Association, which has disavowed conversion therapy, found that lesbian, gay, and bisexual young adults who reported higher levels of family rejection during adolescence were more than eight times as likely to report having attempted suicide.

Shawn O’Donnell, a 40-year old survivor living near Chicago, is among their numbers. He attempted suicide twice during more than a decade in and out of conversion therapy at the hands of both licensed therapists and faith leaders. While he went into the treatment willingly, he says his decision was based on fear of rejection by his family and church.

“It really screws people up,” says O’Donnell. “People think it’s a fix but it really takes a toll on the individual spiritually, emotionally and physically, to the point some people don’t live full lives after this. I know people who are still struggling at my age because of what they’ve gone through.”

While the ordinance won’t prevent antiLGBT spiritual counseling in the church, it can help those minors who were referred to licensed conversion-therapy psychologists by faith leaders. And beyond that, activists hope these bans send a message to parents who might be considering church-based therapy for their LGBT children. Ultimately, they hope the bans will lead to more readily available information about the dangers of conversion therapy.

“These families often have no idea how to react when they find out their child is gay or transgender, and often do turn to their own faith leaders,” says Minter. “Way too often, the messages they get back are completely false. They get the message that being gay or transgender is a sin and a choice, and [that] it should be changed. These parents have no idea that they are directly causing their children harm. We’ve got to do absolutely everything we can to make sure parents have access to this information.”

“THERE ARE KIDS THAT GO INTO CONVERSION THERAPY AND KILL THEMSELVES.”

RN U T TA L L @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.07/12.14.2016

Weird Pittsburgh

SEND YOUR LOCAL WEIRD NEWS TO INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

{BY NICK KEPPLER}

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Discussion at a recent meeting of the Gateway School Board, which serves Monroeville and Pitcairn, was dominated by what board president Chad Stubenbort dubbed “cheesegate.”

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reports that a whistleblower in the district’s food-services department shared with the board pictures allegedly taken recently in cafeteria coolers. One showed cheese growing blue mold with a use-by date of 2011, and others showed packages of ground meat with use-by dates of 2012 and 2014. Stubenbort told the board that the Allegheny County Health Department has since inspected and approved the freezers. He also read a report from the district’s food services director. It said cafeteria workers follow a “two-year rollover in regard to the use and storage of meat” and that they also inspect

the color and smell of a product before cooking it, and discard any suspect items.

Moldy cheese is still usable, as per U.S. Department of Agriculture guidelines, as long as cafeteria workers cut off the mold and all surrounding areas within an inch, according to the report.

Additionally, cooks use cheese that once sported mold only in recipes where it is heated, in a just-in-case effort to kill off any remaining bacteria. The report was apparently meant to be reassuring.

said, “man to man, bro.” The speaker was apparently principal Kevin Murray, who is now on paid administrative leave. An attorney for the boy’s family told KDKA that Murray often berated and intimidated him. In addition to threatening to “knock [his] fucking teeth down [his] throat,” Murray also allegedly gloated to the boy, “I will punch you in the face and when we go down to court, it’s your word against mine and mine wins every time,” which might be the case this time.

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Typhoon Lighting is closing its doors in Regent Square and needs to

clear out inventory!

Unbelievable discounts on the whole store.

Claim your Lighting Treasure!

Police say that Breanne N. Schaum, who was in downtown Charleroi to appear at the Washington County Courthouse on charges of stealing a cell phone from an acquaintance, urinated in front of a watch-repair shop before her hearing. The Observer-Reporter newspaper reports that Schaum, 32, was charged with indecent exposure, criminal mischief and disorderly conduct for her alleged soiling of the entrance mat of About Time.

A 14-year-old student at Woodland Hills High School, east of Pittsburgh, was apparently sick of the bullying he endured, so he hid a recording device to document the verbal abuse and bring his tormentor to the attention of officials.

“I’m going to fucking punch you in the face,” the voice on the boy’s recording

WAYNOVISION +

In more bad news for entranceways, a man was arrested for defecating on the front porch of the Men of the Mountain Gun Club, a hunting club in Metal Township, Franklin County.

According to the Chambersburg newspaper Public Opinion, police charged a suspect with disorderly conduct but have not released his name.

1130 S. Braddock Avenue Regent Square, PA 15218 Phone: 412.242.7050 Tuesday-Saturday 11-6

www.typhoonlighting.com

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“We’ve got seven hanging bodies!” said auctioneer Fred Peters. “Buy and take all seven! Hang them up!” The scene, described on the Pittsburgh news website The Incline, was the liquidation sale of Terror Town, a defunct haunted house that once lurked in the basement beneath the Cruze Bar/Club Zoo complex in the Strip District. The owners decided to close up after a water-main break and called in Peters’ company to recoup some cash. The event attracted scare-house owners from as far as Florida to bid from an auction catalog that included “bat demon,” “dragon prop,” “mummy,” “asst [assorted] skeletons,” “jail cell,” “rack w/ shackles,” “spider hallway w/ strobe lights” and “asst guts.”

The seven hanging bodies sold for $90.

An octagon-shaped cage went for $110.

An “alien room” — including two replicas of the creature in the Alien movies, a short gray extraterrestrial, and a few hanging, brain-like organs — sold as a set for $375. An electric-chair prop went for $1,000. Buyers also picked up miscellaneous plastic guts and body parts for $5 to $10 a pile.

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LOCAL

“BALANCE JUST IS. THERE ISN’T ANYTHING ELSE.”

BEAT

{BY LAUREN REARICK}

Indie-pop act Dinosoul got its start in a living room.

About a year ago, partners Heather Donny Donovan and Carolyn Hillard began casually jamming in their home. Donovan, already established in the Pittsburgh music scene as a member of Dream Phone and Roulette Waves, enjoyed collaborating with Hillard, and they quickly realized it was leading to something more.

Hillard recruited her brother, Steve, to play guitar, and the trio started playing small shows.

“Our first show, we played as a threepiece with no drums,” Donovan says.

“Afterward we realized we ... needed a drummer.”

Glenn Durham ended up filling that role and, with a fixed lineup, the foursome continued working on material for the EP Dimension (the release show is Sunday, at Spirit). Dinosoul’s intricate indie pop features lush instrumentals with compelling vocal duets from Hillard and Donovan. The band’s sound has been a perfect match in opening spots for Florist and Diet Cig, and will please fans during its biggest opening performance for She Wants Revenge, Saturday.

Since forming, Dinosoul has worked to solidify a cohesive sound, incorporating each member into the creative process.

“Usually our writing process is very collaborative,” Steve Hillard says. “Somebody will bring in a riff and together we’ll develop it from there with more structure.”

Moving from the city’s DIY spaces to studio recording and larger stages has been a learning process. Recording Dimension at Very Tight Recordings, in Sharpsburg, exposed the band’s sound in a way that felt larger and more raw than in live performances.

“This was the first time any of us had ever done a studio recording,” Donovan says. “It was a lot to prepare for, but it ... went really well.”

What follows now is not far from the members’ minds. Donovan acknowledges the band has had amazing opportunities, but doesn’t intend to stop.

“We want to start writing and recording more, and we’re already working on new songs,” Carolyn Hillard says. “We’re thinking of how … we move forward from this.”

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

DINOSOUL with SHE WANTS REVENGE 8 p.m. Sat., Dec. 10. Mr. Smalls Theatre, 400 Lincoln Ave., Millvale. $25. 412-821-4447 or www.mrsmalls.com. DIMENSION RELEASE SHOW 9 p.m. Sun., Dec. 11.

Spirit, 242 51st St., Lawrenceville. $5-10.

412-586-4441 or www.spiritpgh.com

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Dinosoul {PHOTO COURTESY OF GREG BRUNNER}

HEART AND SOUL

{PHOTO COURTESY OF PETER MELLEKAS}

Showing the gleam under the mess: Kristin Hersh

BALANCED ACT {BY TROY MICHAEL}

I

N ORDER TO survive as a profes-

sional musician, an artist needs to find balance. Sure, there needs to be equilibrium between one’s professional and personal lives, but plenty of it is required when it comes to creating new music, too.

Musically, there are few more balanced than indie-rock icon Kristin Hersh.

While she’s the co-founder of rock band Throwing Muses, she knows how to both showcase her aggressive side with power-punk trio 50FOOTWAVE, and flex her singer-songwriter muscles with her mostly acoustic solo career.

“Every song that plays through my window seems to be made of different colors, whether it’s the neighbors’

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.07/12.14.2016

lousy record collection, a car radio, or a new song of my own,” Hersh writes via email while on tour overseas. She goes on to describe the varying sounds of her three musical outlets. “The neighbors’

KRISTIN HERSH 8 p.m. Tue., Dec. 13. $20. Club Café, 56 S. 12th St., South Side. $20. 412-431-4950 or www.clubcafelive.com.

record collection I’ve come to accept, but my songs come asking questions and demanding better outfits, so I like to give them what they ask for. Throwing Muses gets the ones that sound sweet, but tan-

gled. They need a thin voice; the sound of broken balls, or at least fragile ones.

“50FOOTWAVE is shame as power.

That voice is both meaty and ready to break. Solo, I still haven’t figured out yet. I make those records alone, no friends, just playing drums all night, racing around building instruments and breaking instruments ... But interesting, dervishlike things can happen when you start whirling. Solo records are like Cinderella at the stroke of midnight.”

Over the past five years, Hersh has been working on new solo material in between releasing Throwing Muses’ 2013 album, Purgatory/Paradise; putting out a new 50FOOTWAVE EP, Bath White, earlier this year; and publishing the critically

acclaimed book Don’t Suck, Don’t Die, about her close friendship with the late singer-songwriter Vic Chesnutt.

As with her previous solo album, 2010’s Crooked, and Purgatory/Paradise, Hersh’s new solo album, Wyatt at the Coyote Palace, comes in a book/CD format that includes true stories and songs of all the life, death, dark, light, love, loss, piety and desire that Hersh has experienced over an unsettled time in her life.

But again, Hersh manages to find balance.

“Balance just is. There isn’t anything else,” she writes. “Mathematically, there couldn’t be. When systems seem out of balance, all you have to do is wait.”

If there any one subject could upset the balance of themes on Wyatt at the Coyote Palace, it would be death. Hersh has come face to face with death on more than one occasion, and she writes about these experiences in the book. Some of these incidents were worse than others, but the underlying lesson seems to be that most people approach the idea of mortality with a mix of fear and fascination.

making her own instruments in an effort to find a sound that no one has heard before. She even sang into a garbage can full of stuffed animals to gain a certain effect. “[Longtime friend and producer Steve] Rizzo often reaches the point of asking me what the fuck I’m doing,” she writes. “But I know exactly what I’m doing — sort of.”

Although it took five years, some pain, some healing, and some engineering, Wyatt at the Coyote Palace is one of Hersh’s best efforts since she began her solo career more than 20 years ago — a solo career she once said would never happen. And while her faithful fans might now have the book and album in hand, for the singer/songwriter, the album is never truly finished.

“I finished the final musical edit at exactly the same time as the final text edit,” she writes. “I can’t tell you how impossible this is. Just the odds of working on both at the same time are goofy.

“I can’t bear that this record is finished. In my head and heart, it will never be done; that way I can keep it alive. Almost like praying over water so that it doesn’t freeze, doesn’t evaporate, stays fluid. Pointless and a total mindfuck, but it works for me!”

“I hadn’t noticed how many of [my bandmates’ and my] stories involve almost dying,” Hersh writes. “A conversation I had with a friend over sushi at the beach inspired this collection of stories. He didn’t think almost dying was as funny as we did … this turns out to be a balance thing, too — you can’t take yourself seriously [and you] can’t take life lightly.”

Death is an unsettling topic for most, but not for Hersh. She’s not afraid to spill her inner-most thoughts through her words and lyrics. But it does make one wonder how far she’ll go with her personal anecdotes.

“What the songs make me say is awfully embarrassing, but beneath shame is universal experience,” she writes. “It’s my job to show the gleam under the messes.”

Part of that mess for Hersh is playing and learning to play new instruments while recording in the studio. Hersh is probably one of the most overlooked guitar players in the business today, but she is also fluent on bass, piano and drums.

On Wyatt at the Coyote Palace she takes her exploration a step further, experimenting with horns and cello, and even

“IT’S MY JOB TO SHOW THE GLEAM UNDER THE MESSES.”

LISTEN UP! You read City Paper’s music coverage every week, but why not listen to it too?

Each Wednesday, music editor Margaret Welsh crafts a Spotify playlist with tracks from artists featured in the music section, and other artists playing around town in the coming days.

Find it on our music blog, FFW>>, at pghcitypaper.com

INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

Sean Jones Live at the Jazz Bistro CD RELEASE PERFORMANCE

SATURDAY, December 17, 2016 • 8 PM

August Wilson Center TRUSTARTS.ORG • BOX OFFICE AT THE ATER SQUARE 412-456-6666 • GROUPS 10+ TICKETS 412-471-6930 NEWS

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diesel C LU B | LO U N G E

UPCOMING CONCERTS

12/8 | 7:00 PM | AA

12/9 | 7:00 PM | AA

SPRING INTERNS WANTED City Paper’s editorial team is seeking several interns for the spring. Please contact the appropriate editor listed below by Dec. 12, 2016.

Each internship includes a small stipend. No calls, please.

12/ 13 | 7:00 PM | AA

1 2/ 1 5 | 8:00 P M | 18+

1 2/20 | 10:00 P M | 2 1+

MULTIMEDIA INTERN The multimedia intern will produce content for our digital platform at pghcitypaper.com. The right candidate must be capable of working in the field as well as in the office. Necessary skills include: recording and editing audio and video, writing and copy-editing, as well as a working knowledge of social media. Apply to editor Charlie Deitch, cdeitch@pghcitypaper.com.

MUSIC INTERN 1/20| 7:00 PM | AA

2/4| 8:00 PM | AA

The music intern will have a working knowledge of the local music scene and assist the music editor by writing new-release reviews and previews of upcoming shows, as well as artist features.

Apply to music editor Margaret Welsh, mwelsh@pghcitypaper.com.

NEWS INTERN 2/ 14| 7:00 PM | AA

2/ 18 | 7:00 7 00 | AA

2/22 | 8:00 | 21+

3/8 | 7:00 | AA

The news intern will pitch and write stories for both the print and online editions, as well as assist news reporters with research and fact-checking. Basic writing and reporting experience required.

Please send résumé, cover letter and samples to news editor Rebecca Addison, rnuttall@pghcitypaper.com.

PHOTO INTERN We are looking for a photography intern who can tell a story through images.

Work will include shooting assignments to supplement the paper’s news and arts coverage, both in print and online.

Weekend availability is required.

Send a résumé and a link to an online portfolio to art director Lisa Cunningham, lcunning@pghcitypaper.com.

for tickets visit LIVEATDIESEL.COM or Dave’s Music Mine (southside) 1801 e. carson st | pittsburgh |412.481.8800

{PHOTO COURTESY OF CAMILLA SAUFLEY}

Earthless (Isaiah Mitchell, right)

GROUNDED {BY IAN THOMAS} THAT THE MEMBERS of Earthless are able

to achieve their unique brand of bluesbased synchronicity — alternately focused and freewheeling — owes a lot to off-stage efforts to get on the same page.

The heavy-psych three-piece — comprised of bassist Mike Eginton, drummer Mario Rubalcaba (also of Off!) and guitarist Isaiah Mitchell — formed in San Diego.

Their work in other bands has always placed time constraints on the project and now, more than a decade in, they find themselves in separate cities, as well. But despite the obstacles, Earthless remains a priority.

“We really don’t like to go too long without meeting up and playing on stage or getting together,” Mitchell says by phone. “We all have busy lives. Mario and Mike have families. I live in a different city, about 500 miles away from those guys, so … we do have to plan ahead.”

Earthless makes much from little. Its instrumental excursions, which often reach run times of up to an hour, are built upon the most basic components of blues-based rock, which are extrapolated to the furthest degree and performed with infectious fervor. The resulting sound — a swirling, spilling brew of relentless riffs poured over a driving and cohesive rhythm — would feel self-indulgent in less capable hands.

Mitchell and company, however, ride the wave to transcendent revelation.

“Improvisation is the majority of it. We do have cues. We know when to go into the next parts, but those moments between cues, it’s all improv,” Mitchell says. Within

these jaunts, the members of Earthless take a jazz approach in communicating their intentions to one another. A drum roll or guitar phrase is as good as a nod of the head. “I might want to come out of something at a certain time and then I look over at Mario, and he’s like ‘No, I’m not ready to come out of it yet,’ so we keep going,” Mitchell says.

In many ways, Earthless is an exercise in harnessing happy accidents. “‘Acid Crusher,’ the new [song] that just came out, that’s a riff and it’s all improv, just in the moment and just throwing stuff on it,” Mitchell says. “It came out the way it came out. Improv is still the main ingredient for what we do and why we like to do what we do.”

EARTHLESS, RUBY THE HATCHET, CRUCES 9:30 p.m. Thu., Dec. 15. Club Café.

56 S. 12th St., South Side. $15-17.

412-431-4950 or www.clubcafelive.com

It’s an approach that doesn’t always work. While the Earthless sound speaks for itself, the band’s yardstick for success is more felt than heard. It’s a fickle vibe they’re chasing. “There’s stuff I am proud of, but there’s other shows [that are] like ‘God, that was horrible!’” Mitchell says. “There are people that come up to you after the show and say, ‘That was amazing!’ and you’re like, ‘Ah, that was fucking horrible!’”

But for Earthless, the rewards outweigh the risks. “It’s not always easy to be super inspired, [to] be super on. You try your darnedest to be, but there’s just off nights,” Mitchell says. “But then the next night for some reason, ‘Whoa, I found myself again,’ it’s awesome.”

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.07/12.14.2016

CELEBRATE THE RETURN OF THE

{PHOTO COURTESY OF JIMMY KATZ}

David Murray

JOINT VENTURE {BY MIKE SHANLEY} DAVID MURRAY and Kahil El’Zabar have a music partnership that began in 1975, but they didn’t meet at a loft or on the bandstand. Murray, then a college sophomore, was visiting Chicago en route to New York City when he was introduced to drummer and poet El’Zabar on a basketball court.

Immediately El’Zabar impressed the young tenor saxophonist. “Kahil was really, really good,� Murray says, on the phone from New York. “He could’ve been a great basketball player. He was really good then. And I used to play, but he had the size.�

Before long, they began playing music together, connecting through a version of jazz that tapped into a spiritual feeling. “He’s an original, a total new-world thinking person,� Murray says of his bandmate. “Sometimes he can really channel what’s happening in society. He’s a visionary. And I’m glad to be playing with him, because when we come together, there’s a certain power that I’ve never experienced with anyone else.�

If anyone can see such depth in a musician, it’s David Murray. For over four decades he has been one of the most dynamic tenor saxophonists on the planet, absorbing the straight-ahead jazz of Sonny Rollins and the free cathartic playing of Albert Ayler, and channeling both into an original voice.

Best known for his tenure with the World Saxophone Quartet, he has also led groups as diverse as a big band that featured R&B star Macy Gray on vocals, and an ensemble that pays tribute to Nat “Kingâ€? Cole’s Cole EspaĂąol albums, in which he played Spanish-language songs with Cuban musicians.

Within days of this conversation, Murray (also a uent bass clarinet player) ďŹ nished a European tour with the collective trio

6*+5 9''-'0& #0& 0':6

MAC, which includes the University of Pittsburgh’s Geri Allen on piano and Terri Lynne Carrington on drums.

El’Zabar and Murray (who bounces between homes in New York, Paris and Portugal) released several albums together in the ensuing years as a duo. While both have played with bassist Harrison Bankhead, another Chicagoan, this tour marks the ďŹ rst time all three have played together as a unit.

Murray’s enduring career and reputation relate directly to the way he approaches music — understanding and respecting the traditions of jazz without getting restricted by them. In talking about titans like Ornette Coleman, Sun Ra or the World Saxophone Quartet, he says, “We understand a quality of the music [and] try and keep it on a certain level. But at the same time, we try to push it forward. Otherwise, it’s just redundant. What we hate, what we detest, we try to run from, is to be put in little boxes, so that we can only be a certain kind of musician.�

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WITH DAVID MURRAY, KAHIL ELâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ZABAR & HARRISON BANKHEAD 8 p.m. Sun., Dec. 11. James Street Gastropub, 422 Foreland Ave., North Side. $25-30.

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He and Elâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Zabar collaborated on a piece called â&#x20AC;&#x153;One World Family,â&#x20AC;? which theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve revisited on several albums. Murray points to this as an example when he calls the drummer a visionary. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Kahil concentrates on the love among people, humanity, ecology, spiritual preservation, spiritual rejuvenation,â&#x20AC;? Murray says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a message there. Some people might think itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s corny, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the thing that probably needs to be reverberated in this millennium. Something that needs to revisited.â&#x20AC;?

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{PHOTO COURTESY OF DANI FRESH}

CRITICS’ PICKS Koji

[FOLK PUNK] + FRI., DEC. 09

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.07/12.14.2016

{PHOTO COURTESY OF JIMMIE SIDES/3SIDES PHOTOGRAPHY}

Tickets go on sale Monday

“1865 (96 Degrees in the Shade)” (a track with some of the hottest harmonizing ever), Koji is a songwriter overflowing with emotion, or maybe the ripping cover of “Have You Ever and his honesty and integrity is something the Seen the Rain” from 2014’s Under the Magic world could use a little of right now. The last Sun. MF 8 p.m. 6 Allegheny Square East, song Koji released was “Keeping Count,” about empathy and compassion in a time when Allegheny Center. All ages. $35. 412-320-4610 or www.newhazletttheater.org politicians are as corrupt and blatantly racist as ever. Pittsburgh’s Homeless Gospel Choir is [GRUNGE] + MON., DEC. 12 embarking upon this tour with Koji and joins If you’ve been paying any attention to the in on the punk-in-the-name-of-hope fun at the mid-level punk and rock scene, you probably Mr. Roboto Project with Lawn Care and Otis have a sense that ’90s Wolves. Meg Fair grunge and shoegaze 7 p.m. 5106 Penn Ave., have been a major Bloomfield. $10-12. guiding force. Citizen All ages. www.

Chrome Moses is no exception to that robotoproject.org trend, but the band has managed to create a [ROCK] + distinct sound that feels FRI., DEC. 09 sometimes subtly Chrome Moses promises unhinged. What the rock ’n’ roll with no band’s debut Youth gimmick, just groovy expressed with riffs. To celebrate its harshness, 2015’s third release, Mother Nobody Goes to Heaven Volt, Chrome Moses professes with quieter will be taking over the intensity. Standalone James Street Gastropub single “Silo” is the best and Speakeasy ballroom of both these gloomy with Nox Boys. Mother worlds. Catch ’em Volt is the sister record tonight at the Rex to last year’s Tamaraine, Theater with Same and and the single “The YRS. MF 7 p.m. 1602 Bleeder” — in which E. Carson St., South Side. $11.25-17. All ages. gritty vocals tell a tale of a alluring woman with 412-381-6811 or www.rextheater.com a sinister side — showcases the band’s bluesy charm and totally rockin’ sound. MF 8 p.m.

[SONGWRITER] + WED., DEC. 14 422 Foreland St., North Side. $10. 412-904-3335 Adam Torres’ latest record Pearls to Swine is a or www.jamesstreetgastropub.com journey into folk worlds full of promise and adventure. With a timbre even more delicate than [REGGAE] + SAT., DEC. 10 Fleet Foxes’ Robin Pecknold, Torres draws the Few bands can boast a career that spans ear with the gentlest of voices and the warmest four decades, but reggae legends Third World of guitars, making Club Café the perfect setting — appearing tonight at the New Hazlett for tonight’s solo performance. Joining Torres is Theater — can. With 43 years of reggae-magic local pop-Americana group Bindley Hardware in the books, the band is still taking its music Co. This evening is for fans of Bon Iver, staring around the globe. Twenty-one studio records wistfully at shadows and taking long car rides on in, the group has a lot of music to choose from, a rainy day. MF 8 p.m. 56 S. 12th St., South Side. but there’s a good chance you’ll hear “Now $10-12. 412-431-4950 or www.clubcafelive.com That We’ve Found Love,” “Try Jah Love,”

TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://PGHCITYPAPER.COM/HAPPENINGS 412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X165 (PHONE) {ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

ROCK/POP THU 08 CATTIVO. Condition Critical w/ Vermithrax, Shattered Souls & Xander Demos. Lawrenceville.

412-687-2157.

CRAFTHOUSE STAGE & GRILL. Hawkeyes Duo. Whitehall.

412-653-2695.

DIESEL. Stitches, STR8KASH. South Side. 412-431-8800.

THE MR. ROBOTO PROJECT. Worriers, Hearken, Nightmarathons & The Lopez.

Bloomfield. 412-706-1643.

REX THEATER. The New Mastersounds & Turkuaz.

South Side. 412-381-6811.

FRI 09 CATTIVO. Dazzletine, Pet Clinic, Side Eye. album release.

Lawrenceville. 412-687-2157.

CLUB CAFE. An Evening with Steve Forbert. early. The Rusty Haywhackers w/ Patrick Varine & Peter Flynn from Charlie Hustle & the Grifters. late. South Side.

412-431-4950.

CRAFTHOUSE STAGE CLUB CAFE. An Evening w/ Joe Grushecky & the Houserockers. & GRILL. Totally 80s. Whitehall.

South Side. 412-431-4950.

412-653-2695.

DIESEL. Secret Eyes. South Side.

DIESEL. Alteras. South Side.

412-431-8800.

412-431-8800.

DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Nicky Mo JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & The Mamalukes. Robinson. & SPEAKEASY. Chrome Moses 412-489-5631. & Nox Boys. album release.

THE HOB NOB LOUNGE. North Side. 412-904-3335.

King’s Ransom. West Mifflin.

THE MR. ROBOTO 412-461-8541.

PROJECT. Koji, The JAMES STREET Homeless Gospel GASTROPUB & Choir, The Otis Wolves, SPEAKEASY. Sweet Lawn Care. Bloomfield.

Earth & Moment 412-706-1643. . w w w Being. North Side.

REX THEATER. Charlie paper pghcitym .co 412-904-3335.

Wheeler Band. South MOONDOG’S. Squeezin’ Side. 412-381-6811. the Shaman. Blawnox.

ROCK ROOM. Connections, 412-828-2040.

Positive No!, The Gotobeds MR. SMALLS THEATER. & Bat Zuppel. Polish Hill.

She Wants Revenge w/ Nikki’s 412-683-4418.

Wives, Dinosoul. Millvale.

THE FUNHOUSE @ MR. SMALLS. 412-821-4447.

NeverWake, Resistance 13, OAKS THEATER. Totally Alter The Design, Winter’s Descent 80’s Xmas Party. Oakmont. & Silence Follows. Millvale.

412-828-6322.

412-821-4447.

THE R BAR. Norman Nardini.

Dormont. 412-942-0882.

REX THEATER. Billy Price Band & BALTIMORE HOUSE. Cerberus.

The Commonheart. South Side.

Pleasant Hills. 412-653-3800.

412-381-6811.

ROYAL PLACE. Prime 8, Burned & Rimbo Koss. Castle Shannon.

412-882-8000.

SQUIRREL HILL SPORTS BAR. TheCAUSE w/ Johnny “JB” Bigman. Squirrel Hill.

412-422-1001.

TABLE 86 BY HINES WARD. Right TurnClyde. Mars. 724-741-0860.

FULL LIST E N O LIN

SAT 10

MP 3 MONDAY

{CP PHOTO BY EM DEMARCO}

SILENCE

SUN 11 CLUB CAFE. The Districts w/ Tangiers, Slugss. South Side.

412-431-4950.

THE R BAR. Billy The Kid and the Regulators. Dormont.

412-942-0882.

MON 12 CLUB CAFE. Storm Large Holiday Ordeal. South Side.

412-431-4950.

TUE 13 CLUB CAFE. An Evening with Kristin Hersh. South Side.

412-431-4950.

DIESEL. Bobaflex. South Side.

412-431-8800.

WED 14

Each week we bring you a song from a local artist.

This week’s track comes from gothy peace-punk band Silence. Stream or download “The Deafening Sound of Absolutely Nothing, Part 1,” from the record, The Deafening Sound of Absolutely Nothing, for free at FFW>>, our music blog at www.pghcitypaper.com.

CLUB CAFE. Adam Torres w/ Bindley Hardware Co. South Side.

412-431-4950.

HOWLERS. Ruby, Morpheus Laughing, Valerie Kuehne.

Bloomfield. 412-682-0320.

PALACE THEATRE. Kenny Rogers.

Greensburg. 724-836-8000.

CONTINUES ON PG. 22

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CONCERTS, CONTINUED FROM PG. 21

SUN 11

DJS

THE FLATS ON CARSON. Pete Butta. South Side. 412-586-7644.

THU 08 BELVEDERE’S. DJ hates you 2.0 & DJ killjoy. NeoN 80s Night.

Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555.

MR. SMALLS THEATER. Centrifuge Thursdays.

At the Funhouse. Millvale.

603-321-0277.

PERLE CHAMPAGNE BAR. Bobby D Bachata. Downtown.

412-471-2058.

FRI 09 ANDYS WINE BAR. DJ Malls Spins Vinyl. Downtown. 412-773-8884.

THE FLATS ON CARSON. Pete Butta. South Side.

412-586-7644.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Downtempo & Ambient PLAY. North Side.

412-904-3335.

ONE 10 LOUNGE. DJ Goodnight, DJ Rojo. Downtown. 412-874-4582.

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance.

South Side. 412-431-2825.

RUGGER’S PUB. 80s Night w/ DJ Connor. South Side.

412-381-1330.

SAT 10 DIESEL. DJ CK. South Side.

412-431-8800.

REMEDY. Feeling Without Touching. Lawrenceville.

412-781-6771.

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance.

South Side. 412-431-2825.

TUE 13 THE GOLDMARK. Pete Butta.

Reggae & dancehall. Lawrenceville.

412-688-8820.

WED 14 SMILING MOOSE. Rock Star Karaoke w/ T-MONEY. South Side.

412-431-4668.

SPOON. Spoon Fed. East Liberty.

412-362-6001.

HIP HOP/R&B FRI 09 1LIVE STUDIO. DJ Goodnight: Open Elements. Avalon.

412-424-9254.

SAT 10 1LIVE STUDIO. DJ Goodnight: Open Elements. Avalon.

412-424-9254.

TUE 13

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Ian Gordon’s Electric Five w/ Theresa Hawthorne.

North Side. 412-904-3335.

MOONDOG’S. Kim Simmonds & Savoy Brown. Blawnox.

412-828-2040.

JAZZ THU 08 JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Roger Humphries Jam Session. Ballroom. North Side.

412-904-3335.

VALLOZZI’S PITTSBURGH. Eric Johnson. Downtown.

412-394-3400.

FRI 09 ANDORA RESTAURANT - FOX CHAPEL. Pianist Harry Cardillo & vocalist Charlie Sanders. Fox Chapel.

412-967-1900.

GRILLE ON SEVENTH. Tony www. per a p ty Campbell & Howie pghci m .co Alexander. Downtown.

412-391-1004.

FULL LIST ONLINE

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Beauty Slap w/ Grandadchilds.

North Side. 412-904-3335.

BLUES FRI 09 565 LIVE. The Blues Orphans.

Bellevue. 412-522-7556.

SAT 10 JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Tony Campbell Saturday Afternoon Jazz Session.

North Side. 412-904-3335.

THE MONROEVILLE RACQUET CLUB. Jazz Bean Live. Every Saturday, a different band. Monroeville.

412-728-4155.

THE SPACE UPSTAIRS. Second Saturdays. Jazz-happening series feat. live music, multimedia experimentations, more. Hosted

by The Pillow Project. Point Breeze.

412-225-9269.

ED! RECE NTLY POST

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. All-Star Ritual Trio: Murray, Bankhead, El Zabar David Murray, Harrison Bankhead, Kahil El-Zabar. Speakeasy.

House of Waters w/ Eastend Mile & The Bleil Brothers. Ballroom.

North Side. 412-904-3335.

PRESIDENT’S PUB. Washington Jazz Society Jazz Brunch.

Washington. 724-747-5139.

ROCKS LANDING BAR & GRILLE. Tony Campbell & the Jazz Surgery. McKees Rocks.

412-857-5809.

Go to wqed.org/sessions THANKS to Live Nation and Pittsburgh City Paper for their underwriting support.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.07/12.14.2016

The Kinks

“Father Christmas”

The Sonics

“Santa Claus”

MON 12 HAMBONE’S. Ian Kane. Jazz Standards, showtunes & blues.

Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

The Who

“Christmas”

TUE 13 BACKSTAGE BAR AT THEATRE SQUARE. Poogie Bell. Downtown.

412-456-6666.

Twisted Sister

WED 14 CITY OF ASYLUM @ ALPHABET CITY. William Parker: Studies in Freedom.

An evening of jazz w/ dance & poetry collaboration ft. musician William Parker and dancer/poet Patricia Nicholson. North Side.

412-323-0278.

RIVERS CASINO. Jessica Lee & Friends. North Side.

412-231-7777.

“Heavy Metal Christmas”

REGGAE THU 08 PIRATA. The Flow Band.

Downtown. 412-323-3000.

FRI 09

FRI 09

565 LIVE. The Blues Orphans Christmas Party. Bellevue.

412-301-8158.

THE SOUTH SIDE BBQ RESTAURANT. Tony Germaine, singer/guitarist. South Side.

412-381-4566.

CAPRI PIZZA AND BAR. Bombo Claat w/ VYBZ Machine Intl Sound System. East Liberty.

412-362-1250.

SAT 10

SAT 10 THE HOP HOUSE. Ras Prophet.

Green Tree. 412-922-9560.

DOUBLE WIDE GRILL. The Skipper Johnson Band. Mars.

724-553-5212.

DOUBLE WIDE GRILL. Joint Commision. North Huntingdon.

724-863-8181.

TAVERN IN THE WALL. Peter King w/ Mark Perna. Aspinwall.

412-782-6542.

COUNTRY

SUN 11

CLUB CAFE. The Gabriel Alegria Afro-Peruvian Sextet. South Side.

412-431-4950.

LINDEN GROVE. Karaoke.

Castle Shannon. 412-882-8687.

HAMBONE’S. Ukulele Jam. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

JASIRI X

Here are the seasonal tunes “Metal” Mary Bielich (Derketa, Behind Enemy Lines, Mud City Manglers) can’t stop listening to:

SUN 11

ACOUSTIC

This direct-to-web series spotlights our region’s talented, innovative and diverse artists.

HEAVY ROTATION

WED 14 ALLEGHENY ELKS LODGE #339. Pittsburgh Banjo Club.

Wednesdays. North Side.

412-321-1834.

FULL PINT WILD SIDE. Grant Street Grifters. Lawrenceville.

412-408-3083.

PARK HOUSE. Shelf Life String Band. North Side.

412-224-2273.

SAT 10 CRAFTHOUSE STAGE & GRILL. Nomad. Whitehall. 412-653-2695.

OTHER MUSIC THU 08

FRI 09 LINDEN GROVE. Nightlife. Castle Shannon. 412-882-8687.

MR. SMALLS THEATER. For Today w/ Norma Jean, My Epic, Silent Planet. Millvale. 412-821-4447.

PITTSBURGH WINERY. Joy Ike & JD Eicher. Strip District.

412-566-1000.

SAT 10 CHILDREN’S MUSEUM OF PITTSBURGH. Bel Suono Ensemble.

North Side. 412-322-5058.

TUE 13 CITY OF ASYLUM @ ALPHABET CITY. Andrea Parkins. North Side.

412-323-0278.

HOLIDAY MUSIC SAT 10 THE FUNHOUSE @ MR. SMALLS. Merry ChristmaChannaKwanzaa.

Phat Man Dee croons & belts seasonal classics to accompany the performances of Pittsburgh’s most delightful darlings of dance, Macabre Noir, Lita D’Vargas, Hakan Dances and The Hamer Sisters - Maria & Christine!

Dancing dreidels! Candy cane wielding elves! Extreme burlesque Grinch over dramatizations!

Live music provided by members of the Cultural District Carlos Peña, Jesse Prentiss, Jeremy Papay, Miguel Sague III and Langston Kelly! Free hugs for the holiday from Phat Man Dee after the show! Millvale.

412-821-4447.

WED 14 BENEDUM CENTER. Michael W. Smith & Jordan Smith. Downtown.

412-456-6666.

What to do IN PITTSBURGH

Dec 7 - 13 WEDNESDAY 7 Queensrÿche

REX THEATER South Side.

412-381-6811. With special guests Armored Saint & Midnight Eternal. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

Kevin Devine & the Goddamn Band CATTIVO Lawrenceville.

412-687-2157. With special guests Pinegrove & Petal.

All ages show.

Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 6:30p.m.

THURSDAY 8

My Perfect Body: Douglas Crimp and Before Pictures Reading ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM North Side. Free event. 7p.m.

Holiday Hootenanny STAGE AE North Side. With special guests Molly Alphabet, Morgan Erina, Billy Price, Josh Verbanets, The Wreckids, DJ Selecta, & more.

Tickets: wyep.org. 7p.m.

TRANSIBERIAN EXPERIENCE: WIZARDS OF WINTER CARNEGIE OF HOMESTEAD MUSIC HALL DEC . 9

Doors open at 6p.m.

MONDAY 12 Citizen

REX THEATER South Side.

412-381-6811. All ages show.

Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 7p.m.

FRIDAY 95

Storm Large – Holiday Ordeal

For Today

MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-821-4447.

With special guests Norma Jean, My Epic, & Silent Planet.

Tickets: ticketweb.com/ opusone. 7:30p.m.

1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

21+ Night: Holiday Party

A Musical Christmas Carol

CLUB CAFE South Side.

412-231-4950. Over 21 show.

Tickets: ticketweb.com/ opusone. 8p.m.

CARNEGIE SCIENCE CENTER North Side. Over 21 event.

Tickets: carnegiesciencecenter. org. 6p.m.

Christmas Brasstacular

Transiberian Experience: Wizards of Winter

CARNEGIE MUSIC HALL Oakland. All ages show.

Tickets: rivercitybrass.org.

7:30p.m.

CARNEGIE OF HOMESTEAD MUSIC HALL Munhall.

All ages show.

Tickets: ticketfly.com or

NEWS

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MUSIC

Wives & Dinosoul. All ages show. Tickets: ticketweb.com/ opusone. 8p.m.

An Evening with Joe Gruschecky and the Houserockers

BYHAM THEATER Downtown. 412-456-6666.

Tickets: pittsburghclo.org.

Through Dec. 23.

CLUB CAFE South Side.

412-231-4950. Over 21 event.

Tickets: ticketweb.com/ opusone. 9p.m.

SATURDAY 10

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She Wants Revenge: 10-Year Anniversary

Third World

MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-821-4447.

With special guests Nikki’s

NEW HAZLETT THEATER North Side. 412-320-4610.

Tickets: kentearts.org. 8p.m.

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TUESDAY 13

SUNDAY 11 The Districts

CLUB CAFE South Side.

412-231-4950. Over 21 show.

Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

The X’s Kickass Christmas Show STAGE AE North Side.

With special guests Third Eye Blind, The Struts, Holy White Hounds, & Daily Grind.

Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000.

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MANNHEIM STEAMROLLER CHRISTMAS

by Chip Davis

BENEDUM CENTER Downtown. 412-456-6666.

Tickets: trustarts.org. 8p.m.

An Evening with Kristin Hersh CLUB CAFE South Side.

412-431-4950. Over 21 show.

Tickets: ticketweb.com/ opusone. 8p.m.

CLASSIFIEDS

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[DANCE REVIEW]

“THEY KNOW THAT THEY HAVE TO BE REALLY CREATIVE.”

POINTE TAKEN

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

Conservatory Dance Company’s BALLET OFF-CENTER continues through Sun., Dec. 11. Pittsburgh Playhouse, 222 Craft Ave., Oakland. $10-24. 412-392-8000 or www.pittsburghplayhouse.com

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{CP PHOTOS BY LUKE THOR TRAVIS}

John Shortino and Allison Mosher, owners of Nine Stories in Lawrenceville

[BOOKS]

Fresh off its annual Contemporary Choreographers program, Point Park’s Conservatory Dance Company is presenting another intriguing program of contemporary ballet works, Ballet OffCenter, at the Pittsburgh Playhouse.

The production, as viewed this past Friday, began with Beyoncé choreographer Darrell Grand Moultrie’s “Beyond The Cover.” A recorded shout of “Go!” sent eight women and three men into a flurry of contemporary ballet movement that quickly morphed into a series of duets and solos that often ended with a dancer lying on the stage floor, only to be dragged off by the heels by another dancer.

Interjected into the eclectic soundtrack were voiceovers of dancers reflecting on performing for an audience, and Moultrie extolling the virtue of diversity in dance.

While the piece had its bright moments, overall it lacked structural cohesion.

Next, former Cedar Lake Contemporary Ballet artistic director Alexandra Damiani’s spellbinding “Portrait De Femmes” transported the audience to a surreal psychosexual world. Looking like a sci-fi movie that brought the past into the future, the ballet blended Renaissance-period sensibilities and wardrobe (futuristically updated) with deliciously quirky choreography and an intense cinematic score to create one of this dance season’s very best dance works.

From the moment dancer Paige Devitt began a series of tightly controlled ballet poses in a spotlight, the work took on an ominous tension that reached out and grabbed you by the throat, demanding your full attention. The cast of six women and two men were exquisite in Damiani’s illustrative choreography. Most compelling were two predatory duets featuring dancers Kimie Parker partnered by Damond Garner, and Jane Zogbi dancing with Eric Lobenberg. The wonderfully unusual ballet ended with the dancers casting dark, accusatory glares out at the audience.

The final two ballets on the program were choreographed by Point Park dance faculty members Daniel Karasik and Jason McDole. Karasik’s “Volumes” provided the production’s other highlight, a nicely woven pas de deux contained within it performed with skill and grace by dancers Annie Morgan and Shawn Lesniak.

McDole’s aerobic “Karmic Variations” closed the program. Led by dancer Terrell Rogers, a cast of 20 exuded of emotion, from rapturous joy to cowering fear, that fed into the ballet’s karmic theme. But a sense of being overly melodramatic and too long diminished its overall impact.

Performers in Contemporary Dance Company’s Ballet Off-Center {PHOTO COURTESY OF KATIE GING}

{BY STEVE SUCATO}

SHELF LIFE {BY IAN FLANAGAN}

I

N THE 1990S, the rise of chain booksell-

ers threatened independent bookstores; in the 2000s, the advent of Amazon and, later, e-books, looked to seal their fate. But in Pittsburgh as nationally — even as the chains themselves have dwindled — friendly neighborhood bookshops continue their unlikely comeback.

“The idea that independently owned bookstores are a thing of the past has been way overestimated,” said Arlan Hess, who owns City Books.

In October, Hess, a former college professor, organized a night of dinner and drinks for local indie booksellers at her store’s North Side neighbor, the Modern Café. Discussion at this unprecedented assembly included the possibility of a collaborative website and a map of local bookstores.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.07/12.14.2016

The dinner also functioned as a meetand-greet for the city’s newest booksellers: John Shortino and Allison Mosher, of Lawrenceville’s Nine Stories. The couple moved here in 2012 from Philadelphia, where they were also involved in the bookstore scene. Nine Stories held its grand opening Oct. 1. That made it the city’s second new or reborn bookstore this year alone — after Hess reopened City Books, formerly of the South Side — and at least the sixth in five years, joining White Whale (formerly East End Book Exchange), in Bloomfield; Classic Lines, in Squirrel Hill; and the two newest outposts of Amazing Books, in Squirrel Hill and Oakland. (Coming soon on the North Side: The Alphabet City bookstore, owned by nonprofit City of Asylum and managed by former East End Book

Exchange owner Lesley Rains.)

Like many newer indie stores, Nine Stories specializes in used books. The modest, cozy space, named after a J.D. Salinger short-story collection, is connected to Caffé d’Amore Coffeeshop. That allows patrons to buy a book, get a hot drink, take a seat and read. “People seem more interested in buying books from somebody who knows something about books — there’s a kind of interaction that I think people are really craving,” Shortino says.

Like many indies, Nine Stories looks to weave itself into the city’s literary fabric.

The store’s book club held its first meeting in late November. Readings and live music are planned for December. “Events are a nice way to get [authors] who don’t have a lot of readings to be able to have an

LEGENDS FROM THE ’BURGH TAMARA TUNIE DECEMBER 9-10 CITY THEATRE MAIN STAGE 7:30PM

featuring...

MAX LE AKE / PIANO ROGER HUMPHRIES / DRUMS JEFF GRUBBS / BASS

White Whale Bookstore’s new childrens’ book section

audience,” says Mosher. “Being a space where the community can come is really important to both [Nine Stories and Caffé d’Amore].” Nine Stories and City Books also offer sections spotlighting local authors, and novelties like scented candles with literature-themed scents, including bourbon and tobacco flower for Catcher in the Rye. Some shops, like City Books, have gotten new life through new ownership. Two venerable stores focusing on new books, Sewickley’s Penguin Bookshop and Oakland’s Mystery Lovers Bookshop, recently changed hands. So did White Whale Bookstore, whose name, logo, interior design and inventory (formerly mostly used, now half new) were all changed by its new owners this past summer.

Pittsburgh’s longest-tenured booksellers, on the other hand, might be husband and wife John Schulman and Emily Hetzel, whose Caliban Book Shop has anchored South Craig Street, in Oakland, since 1991.

Caliban is known for its poetry selection and in-house record store, Desolation Row. For Schulman, the changes rendered in the used-book trade by the internet both helped and hurt. While he can now sell books online to people as far away as Tasmania — Caliban keeps a warehouse in Wilkinsburg specifically for online stock — Amazon remains indie booksellers’ boogeyman, with its discount prices and point-and-click convenience.

“I don’t think people start an independent bookstore in the same way they used to. They know that they have to be really creative, that they have to have an interesting business model,” says Pittsburgh-based bookseller and author Karen Lillis, whom Schulman calls “an expert on bookstore culture.” Her pop-up bookshop, Karen’s Book Row, has recently started selling

TICKETS STARTING AT $20 BUY YOURS TODAY! 412.431.CITY (2489) CityTheatreCompany.org 1300 Bingham Street / South Side

Use code CITYCITY to save $5 on single tickets C O H E N

&

G R I G S B Y

T R U S T

P R E S E N T S

ON SALE FRIDAY!

“FUNNIER THAN YOU COULD SIBLYY IMAGINE!” IMAGI POSSIBLY

Caliban Book Shop offers an in-house record store.

- Spin Magazine -

books online, and she is currently writing a memoir about working at New York City’s storied St. Mark’s Bookshop, which closed in March after 40 years in business.

Hess, too, believes independent bookstores do best in a niche. “I think that Pittsburgh can be particularly hospitable to a number of bookstores because each neighborhood has its own character,” she says. Mystery Lovers carries mostly what its name suggests, as does Polish Hill’s longrunning Copacetic Comics. And The Big Idea Bookstore, in Bloomfield, specializes in politically radical writings.

Even in the 21st century, Pittsburgh’s bibliophiles are still turning pages and shopping local. And nationally, membership in the American Book Association, a trade group, has grown for seven straight years, from members at 1,651 locations in 2009 to 2,311 venues this year. Sales at the stores rose 10 percent in 2015 and 5 percent so far this year, according to ABA numbers.

“We all stare at screens all day and when people curl up at night with their dog and cup of tea they want a book,” Hess says.

S E R I E S

“OFF-THE-WALL FFUN!” FU N! - Chicago Tribune -

LIVE ON STAGE Written and performed by CHARLES ROSS

SATURDAY, JANUARY 14, 2017 • 7 PM

BYHAM THEATER

412-456-6666 • BOX OFFICE AT THEATER SQUARE TRUSTARTS.ORG • GROUPS 10+ TICKETS • 412-471-6930

I NF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

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[PLAY REVIEWS]

TWO IN TIME {BY TED HOOVER} BRITISH PLAYWRIGHT Duncan MacMillan achieves a rare feat with his 2011 play Lungs, making its Pittsburgh premiere at Off the Wall Productions. He’s written a two-character play about a man and a woman, stuffing it with every single relationship cliché you can imagine, and has come up with some of the most compelling 100 minutes of theater around.

I sat there as the extremely, let’s be charitable and call them well-worn plot points and events duly made an appearance, and yet I fell for each one: Woman and Man (the characters go unnamed) are thinking about wanting to have a baby.

She does and he doesn’t, then he does but she doesn’t. He’s forced to give up his musical-career dreams, she deals with in-law problems. There’s the inevitable break-up, infidelity, reunion … I could go on, but what’s the point? Anything that flashed into your head when I said “play about a relationship” finds its way into Lungs. And not once was my attention anywhere else.

Alfred Hitchcock once said that drama is life with the boring bits cut out.

MacMillan takes the same approach and doesn’t waste time on transitions: We are continually dropped into the middle of high-voltage scenes only long enough to get the idea, then whisked off into another happening days or months later.

Most flamboyantly, he uses a highly idiosyncratic stage vocabulary that’s so elliptical it would make David Mamet seem loquacious.

His only stumble is, oddly, the element he employs to make the play “fresh.”

Woven into the couple’s arguments are worries about global climate change … and they always sound like PSAs. In the

{PHOTO COURTESY OF HEATHER MULL}

Alec Silverblatt and Sarah Silk in Lungs, at Off the Wall

hermetically sealed world of this play’s theatricality, any mention of anything in the real world seems false.

MEDIEVAL MODERNS {BY STUART SHEPPARD}

LUNGS continues through Dec. 17. Off the Wall at Carnegie Stages, 25 W. Main Street.

Carnegie. $25-40. 724-873-3576. www.insideoffthewall.com

But mostly, I think, I was riveted because of the extraordinary performances of Sarah Silk and Alec Silberblatt. With Spencer Whale’s unbelievably focused and achingly controlled direction, Silk and Silberblatt burst onto the stage and for an hour-and-a-half burn their way through this play with a style and intelligence that I’m sure has left scars.

My hat is lifted to some brilliant, brilliant work.

THERE IS A delicious insouciance among the characters in PICT Classic Theatre’s The Lion in Winter, which is refreshing, as so many productions these days fall prey to psychological tendentiousness.

This 1966 play by James Goldman examines the intrigue that besets the royal family of Henry II during a Christmas gathering in 1183. Power, succession, and war are on the minds of all the attendees, yet director John Shepard gives these 12th-century figures a profoundly interior — and modern — sensibility, one that doesn’t come across as dictated by the playwright.

Alan Stanford as Henry, and Cary

I NF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

NOW OPEN FREE ADMISSION Peter Paul Rubens, Portrait of Charlotte-Marguerite de Montmorency, Princess of Condé (detail), c. 1610. Oil on canvas, Frick Art & Historical Center.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.07/12.14.2016

Anne Spear as his estranged wife, Eleanor of Aquitaine, tangle like a medieval version of George and Martha from Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? They enjoy playing the game of who can trump whom as the better pathological liar, which becomes perplexing to their three children, all vying for the throne.

Stanford exudes a relaxed grandiosity when delivering lines like, “Henry, they’ll say, was a master bastard,” and looks like Falstaff holding a dry martini.

His guile as the king makes the dangerous space between charm and cunning feel so warm that you want to bask in it, even if it kills you. Spear brilliantly underplays the qualities that made Eleanor a survivor in this male-dominated world, delightfully summing up her philosophy in two words: “Promise anything!” Their scene together in the second act is a powerful duel between old lovers who relish each other more as adversaries.

Johnmichael Bohach’s set puts us in the intimate chambers away from public display at this court, adding to the intrigue that is constantly mounting.

Joan Markert’s costumes, and Jessica Kate Matthews’ props take us to a time when clothes were worn for warmth indoors, and knives meant serious business.

THE LION IN WINTER continues through Dec. 17. PICT Classic at the Union Project, 801 N. Negley Avenue, Highland Park. $15-50.

412-561-6000 or www.picttheatre.org

Karen Baum’s Alais is a complex mistress to Henry, who reveals her true motives in a trickle, until they become something torrential. Tony Bingham, as Richard, and Gregory Johnstone, as Geoffrey, also stand out in the excellent cast.

Shepard and his company deserve immense credit for making this history of a thousand years ago seem so human today.

I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

THEFRICKPITTSBURGH.ORG 412-371-0600

Ring in 25 years of holiday joy!

[ART REVIEW]

SEASONING

HOME AGAIN

{BY GWENDOLYN KISTE}

{BY AMANI NEWTON}

MIDNIGHT RADIO’S HOLIDAY SPECTACULAR! continues through Dec. 17. Bricolage Productions, 937 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $35. 412-471-0999 or www.bricolagepgh.org

The show includes fabulous mash-ups of holiday classics from comedy writers Matt Henderson, Tessa Karel and Gayle Pazerski, with the bulk of the running time spent on two locally penned parodies — A Frightmare Ahead of Christmas and Homestead Alone, both of which deliver a dose of loving respect to the source material while also subverting expectations in devilishly fun ways. Without a moment wasted, shorter segments of spoof songs and a holiday-themed Mad Libs buffer the main programming; The Fake Breaking News segment in particular showcases the talents of the entire cast with aplomb. Between skits, musical interludes from rotating performers, including Molly Alphabet, Anqwenique Wingfield and Bob Banerjee, up the holiday ante with a unique blend of holiday tunes.

To finish off the evening, the cast brings it down a notch as they perform the quiet Christmas-in-outer-space tale “The Gift,”

by Ray Bradbury. After the raucous laughs that preceded it, this simple and underrated holiday story is almost out of place, but with the cast’s spot-on delivery and Bradbury’s characteristically gorgeous prose, the pithy yet sweet finale is an ideal end to a wonderful evening.

Although in no way a typical holiday foray, the production features enough of the season’s well-worn trimmings to please the traditionalist and plenty of wacky laughs for those of us who are already sick of all this eggnog and joy, Midnight Radio’s Holiday Spectacular! is one festive adventure that’s sure to entertain.

Phantasm: Inside Dennis Maher’s A Second Home

Holiday Spectacular! is the perfect vintage throwback for the season. Performed in the style of a 1940s radio program, this Bricolage production is a delightful nod to holiday mainstays while including plenty of local flair and Pittsburgh in-jokes. At 90 minutes, the evening’s entertainment is brisk but satisfying. Starring in a show that spotlights dozens of characters, and creating all the sound effects in real time on stage, the five-person cast is nothing short of brilliant. Likewise, director Jeffrey Carpenter channels the frenetic energy of his actors into something that feels at once effortless and meticulously produced.

INFO@ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

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Eli Tokash | Photo: Harry Giglio

OFFBEAT TO the max, Midnight Radio’s

Dennis Maher’s A Second Home, currently filling all three floors of the Mattress Factory’s row-house annex, utilizes salvaged materials, antique furniture, toys, timber, video projections and audio loops to create an immersive domestic phantasm that ruminates and reflects on the function of a home and the meaning of its contents.

Visitors speculate on that meaning while stepping on carpets nailed onto carpets, gazing through skylights to other floors, examining dollhouses with tiny ornate furniture, and discovering doors to nowhere.

The speculation becomes significant and attaches to the deconstructed/reconstituted beauty of the work. It feels singular.

One trademark of a tremendously unique vision is how fruitless any attempt to mechanically reproduce it will be. A photograph will accompany this review.

It will look like a picture of junk. I fear for future students who, flipping through textbooks, deceive themselves that they know what is going on inside Maher’s astonishing, overflowing environment. In 1936, Walter Benjamin resolved that what was divorced from artwork once it was reproduced was its “aura,” the essence that included the tradition, culture, time and place of its creation: “In other words, the unique value of the ‘authentic’ work of art has its basis in ritual, the location of its original use value.” The experience of walking the streets toward Second Home, past other old Pittsburgh rowhouses and into this Pittsburgh rowhouse, which looks like all the rest, and entering into this hallucinatory vision, cannot be underestimated. This house is really, really cool.

Maher is an artist, architect and assistant professor of architecture at SUNY Buffalo, and the founder/director of FARGO HOUSE, Buffalo. His projects “engage processes of disassembly and reconstitution.”

There’s precedent for it, beginning with Rauschenberg’s erased De Kooning, in 1953. In 1962, Ralph Ortiz wrote in their manifesto that Deconstructivists “do not pretend to play at God’s happy game of creation”: “It is one’s sense of death which needs the life giving nourishment of transcendental ritual.” Here, Maher takes what has already been destroyed and transforms it through the transcendent ritual of artmaking, while exposing the role conspicuous consumption plays in constructing an American home. (Where would this salvaged material have ended up? Is this really just Pittsburgh’s garbage?)

All this while the pungent smell of dead trees lingers in your nostrils.

December 9 - 23 De Byham Theater

½ Price Tickets for kids 3-14! $

As low as

16.75

pittsburghCLO.org 412-456-6666 Groups 412-325-1582

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

A SECOND HOME continues through August 2019. 516 Sampsonia Way, North Side. 412-231-3169 or www.mattress.org +

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FOR THE WEEK OF

12.08-12.15.16 Full events listed online at www.pghcitypaper.com Fluids make up some 50 to 65 percent of our bodies. In the latest edition of its “memory” series, memory 5, Dec. 9 and 10 at Wood Street Galleries, dance troupe slowdanger explores how our memories seep into those fluids — and how the fluids, in turn, move along, trap and dilute our memories. Say slowdanger founding directors Anna Thompson and Taylor Knight of their approach to this abstract contemporary dance work: “On a psychological/emotional level, we observe memory and compare it to the highly purported ability of water to retain memory of a substance previously dissolved … ‘water memory.’ Within this we question

{PHOTO COURTESY OF RENEE ROSENSTEEL}

how much of our reality, when examined, could be pseudoscience and how much of the actual substance of memory do we retain in the recall of a lived experience?”

The 40-minute work-in-progress, to be performed by Thompson, Knight and Ru Emmons, is set to a recorded soundscape designed by slowdanger plus live sounds created by the dancers. memory 5 also recalls and reflects upon what Thompson and Knight refer to as “submerged and overgrown” elements from prior works in their “memory” series.

BY STEVE SUCATO

{PHOTO COURTESY OF MATT POLK}

^ Fri., Dec. 9: A Musical Christmas Carol

thursday 12.08

8 p.m. Fri., Dec. 9, and 8 p.m. Sat., Dec. 10. Wood Street Galleries, 601 Wood St., Downtown. $5-10 at the door.

412-471-5605 or woodstreetgalleries.org.

If you’re used to going Downtown for exhibits at Future Tenant, don’t bother with the new one. The gallery’s latest, She Called It a Bug, opens on Sat., Dec. 10, but it’s viewable only online, at www.futuretenant.org. According to local artist and curator Maddy Varner, the online interactive show explores “the relationship Art by Maddy Varner between software failures, breaking points, and of course, actual bugs.” The exhibit includes works by local artists Zach Rispoli, Heather Cowie and Lauren Valley. IF Exhibit continues through Jan. 15. 412-567-8861 or www.futuretenant.org

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.07/12.14.2016

friday 12.09

WORDS

STAGE

For social and cultural ferment — from its crime rates to its art scene and the rise of punk and hip hop — few times and places in modern America beat New York City in the 1960s and 1970s.

As a young gay man, art critic and educator, Douglas Crimp was right there. Tonight, in conjunction with The Andy Warhol Museum’s exhibit Andy Warhol: My Perfect Body, Crimp reads from his 2016 memoir, Before Pictures. Then the museum’s Jessica Beck leads a Q&A. A book-signing follows. Bill O’Driscoll 7 p.m. 117 Sandusky St., North Side.

Free. 412-137-8300 or www.warhol.org

There’s still plenty of time to catch two of Pittsburgh’s longestrunning holiday stage favorites. The Nutcracker — Pittburgh Ballet Theatre’s Pittsburgh-themed production on the classic ballet with music by Tchaikovsky is at the Benedum Center through Dec. 27. And starting tonight, A Musical Christmas Carol returns for its 25th anniversary season. This Pittsburgh CLO production, at the Byham Theater, promises new special effects and stars Broadway veteran Patrick Page as Scrooge. BO Nutcracker: 7 p.m. tonight; continues through Dec. 27 (719 Liberty Ave., Downtown; $28-108; 412-456-666 or www.pbt.org). Christmas Carol: 7:30 p.m.; continues through Dec. 23 (101 Sixth St., Downtown; $32.75-60.75, half-price for kids 3-14; 412-456-6666 or www.pittsburghclo.org).

STAGE Redemption: Sons turns conversation into performance. Tonight, at the New Hazlett Theater, writers and parents Tameka Cage Conley and Jason Mendez team up for a “duologue,” or scripted call and response, on race, trauma and their hopes and fears for their children. Conley has been published in several journals, including an online piece in response to the Ferguson protests in The Southeast Review. Mendez is a Puerto Rican author, educator and theater artist from the South Bronx. Their spoken-word performance is part of the New Hazlett’s Community Supported Art series.

Ian Flanagan. 8 p.m. 6 Allegheny Square East, Allegheny Center. $25. 412-320-4610 or www.newhazletttheater.org

ART Multimedia exhibit The Domesticity of Abandonment seeks to “question the impacts of displacement, civil war, occupations and genocide, centering on civilians, displaced families and environmental and political refugees.” The show at SPACE — guest-curated by internationally exhibited Pittsburgh-based artist, filmmaker and ^ Thu., Dec. 8: Douglas Crimp {PHOTO COURTESY OF JAMES NARES}

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$1 Tacos/ $2 tequila shots/ $4 Margaritas —Also Availabe—

Football & Hockey Game Day specials

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educator Carolina Loyola-Garcia — features the works of 15 artists from the U.S. and around the world, including such Pittsburgh-based talents as Joey Behrens, Rose Clancy and Stephen Grebinski. The opening reception is tonight. IF 5:30 p.m. (free).

Exhibit continues through Jan. 29. 812 Liberty Ave., Downtown. 412-325-7723 or www.spacepittsburgh.org

ART The world faces many a dire mess, from neocolonialism to climate change, and most of them show no signs of improving on their own. Are these problems we can design our way out of? Climactic: Post Normal Design, co-organized by Carnegie Mellon University’s School of Design, features work by 50 local, national and international designers proposing “alternative models for design that broaden human capacity to understand and intervene in accelerated social and environmental crises.” The show, at CMU’s Miller Gallery, went up in November; the closing reception is tonight.

BO 6-8 p.m. (free). Exhibit continues through Sun., Dec. 11. 5000 Forbes Ave., Oakland. millergallery.cfa. cmu.edu/

CABARET McKeesport native and {ART BY AYSU ARSOY} Tony-winning actress ^ Fri., Dec. 9: The Domesticity of Abandonment Tamara Tunie brings her touring cabaret Tamara Tunie: Legends From the ’Burgh to Western Pennsylvania. Featuring Tunie on vocals, Roger Humphries on drums, Jeff Grubbs on bass and Max Leake on piano and conducting, the group will perform American standards and jazz numbers by Pittsburgh artists. Tunie, a Carnegie Mellon University graduate, starred opposite Denzel Washington on Broadway and in film — in Julius Caesar and Flight, respectively — and was a longtime recurring character on Law and Order: SVU. The first of two shows this weekend is tonight at City Theatre. IF 7:30 p.m. Also 7:30 p.m. Sat., Dec. 10.

1300 Bingham St., South Side. $20-65 412-431-2489 or www.citytheatrecompany.org CONTINUES ON PG. 30

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SHORT LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 29

[DAILY RUNDOWN] {PHOTO COURTESY OF TIMOTHY COX}

^ Sat., Dec. 9: Highmark Holiday Pops

TALK

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.07/12.14.2016

< Fri., Dec. 9: Michael Chabon

A newsletter you’ll actually want to read.

Michael Chabon, who grew up partly in Pittsburgh and studied at Pitt, remains one of the top literary names associated with this town: Titling your first novel The Mysteries of Pittsburgh will do that, especially if you go on to acclaim including, you know, a Pulitzer Prize. Chabon’s latest, Moonglow (Harper), is a novel about a man absorbing his well-traveled but terminally ill grandfather’s wild life story. Chabon returns for a live interview with Dan Kubis, host of Pitt’s “Being Human” podcast, live onstage tonight at Carnegie Music Hall. A book-signing follows this free, ticketed event. BO 8 p.m.

4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. www.chabon.eventbrite.com

MUSIC The Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra’s Highmark Holiday Pops has long been an annual affair. But because this year’s program represents the PSO’s grand return to regular performances after a protracted musicians’ strike, expect a little extra seasonal cheer in renditions of “All I Want for Christmas Is You,” the Hallelujah Chorus, “Chanukah Lights” and more. Starting tonight, and for seven performances through next week, conductor Francesco Lecce-Chong welcomes to Heinz Hall special guests including singer and Broadway actress Capathia Jenkins; the Mendelssohn Choir of Pittsburgh (pictured); the Three Rivers Ringers; Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre School; and Krampus.

(OK, not Krampus, but actually Santa Claus.)

BO 8 p.m. Continues through Dec. 18. 600 Penn Ave., Downtown. $20.

412-392-4900 or www. pittsburghsymphony.org

saturday 12.10 MUSIC

^ Sat., Dec. 10: The Passion of the Wilt-Mold Mothers

A mother and her children, species unspecified, are starving in their burrow, victims of a blight. So begins The Passion of the Wilt-Mold Mothers, a new chamber oratorio by Pittsburgh-based composer Curtis Rimrill that was commissioned by the critically acclaimed Quince Contemporary Vocal Ensemble. Rimrill’s works have

EVERYONE IS A CRITIC EVENT: Theatreworks USA’s musical The Lightning Thief, at the August Wilson Center, Downtown CRITIC: Roger Sobkowiak, 74, a retiree from Frederick, Md. WHEN: Sat.,

Dec. 03

So in the first three minutes I reached over to my wife and I said, “This exceeds my expectations.” Having gone a lot of times to plays all over the world — I’ve been to Broadway a number of times — I could tell that some of the lead singers could actually be in any performance. The choreography was sensational, and I thought the battle scenes were well done. Even a little scene like the motorcycle, you could use your imagination and feel it and see it. I’m quite studied in Greek mythology; I think they contemporized it nicely. I didn’t know the story as much as my grandchildren knew it, so the story pieces could be understood for somebody who was not familiar with it. I just talked to my grandchildren — some of them are really good readers and have read all of the [Percy Jackson and the Olympians] books — and they thought it worked well with the material.

BY IAN FLANAGAN

been performed internationally. Tonight, the Quince’s four vocalists — sopranos Elizabeth Pearse, Amanda DeBoer Bartlett and Carrie Henneman Shaw and mezzo Kayleigh Butcher — and guest soprano Anna Elder perform Passion at Frick Fine Arts Auditorium. The concert begins Chicago-based Quince’s season-long residency with Alia Music Pittsburgh. BO 7:30 p.m. 650 Schenley Plaza, Oakland. $12-15. www.aliaamusicapittsburtgh.org

MUSIC It’s a good a night to catch up with Thoth Trio. Saxophonist and clarinetist Ben Opie, upright bassist Paul Thompson and drummer David Throckmorton — all known from OPEK, Flexure and David Throckmorton Quartet — are the three stalwarts of the local scene who comprise this inventive, long-running acoustic-jazz combo.

They’re the guest artists at this weekend’s Second Saturdays at the lounge-style Space Upstairs, jazz happenings that are also known to feature multimedia work and improvised dance. BO 8 p.m.

214 N. Lexington St., Point Breeze. $10 suggested donation. www.thespace upstairs.org

sunday 12.11 STAGE Actor and playwright Bridget Killen Mitchell’s experimental play {ART BY DEEPA BUTOLIYA} Water or Glass is a ^ Fri., Dec. 9: Climactic: Post Normal Design family affair. It depicts the life of German-Jewish expressionist painter Charlotte Salomon, her mother and her grandmother, through their struggles during both world wars. Mitchell, a Pittsburgh native now based in Charlottesville, Va., plays Salomon’s mother, and Mitchell’s daughter Sophie voices Salomon — known for her autobiographical collection of 769 paintings entitled Life? Or Theater? — in a visually involving look at her paintings. Mitchell’s own mother, Patricia Barker, plays Salomon’s grandmother in a short film that makes up the show’s second act. Water or Glass receives one Pittsburgh performance, at The Oaks Theater, this afternoon. IF 2 p.m. 310 Allegheny River Blvd., Oakmont. $15. www.igg.me/at/waterorglass

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THE BEST SIDE WE TRIED MAY HAVE BEEN Q’S SIGNATURE COLE SLAW

A SPOT FOR TEA {BY RYAN DETO} Walking into Tupelo Honey Teas’ new brick-and-mortar spot in Millvale makes you, not unexpectedly, want to curl up in an armchair with a cup of steaming tea. An electric fireplace blazes a simulated flame; there are small lamps for each tabletop and, on the shelves, gift baskets that double as ornaments for sale.

“I want it to feel like an extension of my home,” says Tupelo owner Danielle Spinola. “It’s warm and cozy, without feeling over-cluttered.”

Tupelo started as a wholesale tea-blender, then moved to a shop in Allison Park. It now occupies a space in the Millvale business district. For Spinola, a Millvale native, it’s a homecoming.

{CP PHOTO BY JOHN COLOMBO}

Chicken wings and waffles {CP PHOTO BY RYAN DETO}

BARBECUE SPOT

Mug of plum-cinnamon tea and a grilled-cheese sandwich, with brie and pepper jam

The storefront provides dozens of different hot and iced teas (from typical varieties like English Breakfast to unique blends like plum cinnamon). For a more exotic palate, Tupelo will soon be offering a Kashmiri pink tea, which mixes green tea with baking soda, cream and almonds for an authentic taste of northern India.

Pastries and homemade sandwiches, soups and salads (all vegan and vegetarian) are now also on the menu, including the popular grilledcheese sandwich, made with brie and pepper jam.

Spinola says the homey feeling is not just in the decor, but in her business model, too. The store’s hours are 10 a.m. to 9 p.m., giving Millvale residents a place to go that isn’t a bar; most shops close at 4:30 p.m. “One couple even came in for some tea before going to the area breweries, then just decided to hang out here until close,” says Spinola.

“The neighborhood needed something open later.”

RYANDETO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

{BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

E

VER ALERT TO the possibility of bar-

becue, Jason was the one to spot the storefront in a little strip mall just off Saltsburg Road, near Boyce Park in Plum. We drove past in a flash, but that was enough to imprint the initials Q&M and the enticing words “Fish, Chik & Ribs.” A little internet research confirmed our hunch that we’d stumbled upon a new source of barbecue, and we were back within weeks.

Q&M’s has a counter and a few tables, surrounded by the requisite pig pictures and statuary, but our favorite part of the decor was the row of framed photos above the big storefront window.

Family photos of fishing trips and cookouts, they included the late Quincy Banks, who cofounded Q&M with partner the Rev. Terri Michele. Michele currently

211 Grant Ave., Millvale. 412-821-0832

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.07/12.14.2016

co-owns the restaurant with Banks’ daughter, Linda Banks-Willoughby. When we visited, a member of the next generation was sitting at the counter doing some homework.

Q&M’S FISH, CHIK & RIBS 100 Boyce Park Drive, Plum. 412-795-1905 HOURS: Wed.-Fri. noon-7 p.m.; Sat. 1-7 p.m.

PRICES: $4-13 LIQUOR: BYOB

CP APPROVED Built from a store of family recipes, Q&M’s menu is broader than is typical for a barbecue place. In addition to smoked meats and sides, there’s fried fish (both filets and croquettes), wings, countrystyle sausage sandwiches and more.

Wings come in two styles: fried halfwings, which we had with waffles, and whole, smoked wings, which we had with Carolina vinegar sauce on the side.

The fried were about perfect — crisp and well seasoned with juicy meat within; despite their modest size, they were more like true Southern-fried chicken than sauce-less Buffalo wings.

The waffles didn’t have a lot of taste on their own apart from the seductive combination of salty, savory chicken and sweet maple syrup. But we liked their substantial size and texture, thick and chewy without actually being Belgian style.

The smoked wings were extraordinary, both for their intense smokiness and for their size, although some variation there caused problems: While the bigger wings were tender and succulent,

the smaller ones could be a little on the dry side. The vinegar sauce was fantastic, spicy and not too sour, with ample flavor to hold its own against the smoke. The leftovers, shredded in the sauce, made superb sandwiches.

After such an excellent start, we were surprised by the fish and grits. The grits were merely blah — on the thick side, with no cheese or seasoning to enhance their porridge-like texture and bland flavor. But the whiting filets were tough, dry and oversalted. There was no salvaging this with sauce, so we quickly moved on.

Fortunately, the fish was an outlier.

Ribs were served cut up and swimming in a barbecue sauce fairly typical of Pittsburgh joints; it was vaguely Kansas Citylike, but not quite as sweet and thick.

The ribs themselves were big and meaty, tender without being mushy, and, like the wings, infused with enough smoke to hold up to the dark sauce. Much better than typical local sauce, it had a full balanced array of flavors, including spice and little tang. (We poured the extra into a cup to take home; we froze it for future use on our own barbecue.)

The kitchen returned to that flavor profile in its excellent collard greens, studded with shredded pork, slow-cooked in the Southern style without rendering the leaves to mush. Black-eyed peas were thick, almost evoking refried beans, but whole and firm, and their distinct flavor shone through the seasonings.

But the best side we tried may have been Q’s signature cole slaw, a creamy version with a relatively light dressing. Not drowning in mayonnaise allowed the crisp cabbage and carrots to really step up, while a generous dusting of paprika punched up the already great flavor.

Finally, with great difficulty, Jason chose a brisket sandwich over country sausage, mostly because great brisket is, to him, the Holy Grail of barbecue.

Alas, Q&M’s wasn’t great. It was actually hard to tell just how good it was because it wasn’t consistently sliced across the grain, resulting in some pieces that were tough and chewy. However, where the grain was suitably short, it was a pretty respectable brisket.

So in our broad foray across the barbecue menu of Q&M, we learned a few things, and we’re sharing them with you.

One: Don’t choose between the wings, get both. Two: Rather than fish, go big on the sides. And if you go — and we hope you will — please invite us so that we can try that sausage sandwich and get a slice of Grand Ma’s 7-Up pound cake.

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[PERSONAL CHEF]

WHITE CHICKEN CHILI

BOOK YOUR HOLIDAY PARTY TODAY!

{BY ALEX GORDON} I used to watch football for hours on Sundays, but these days I tend to get bored somewhere between the ball being kicked off and caught. I can’t say I miss it much, but I do miss the free time, shameless laziness and long-form cooking involved.

In our post-college years, my friends and I developed a rotating menu of Sunday cooking: buffalo chicken sliders, stew, that sort of stuff. I was mostly the cheerleader and onion-chopper until I tasted this white chicken chili and swore to master it for myself.

Done right, the chili is rich and seriously satisfying, with a great balance of spicy and savory flavors. Done wrong — ditto. That’s the best thing about chili, there’s so much room for fucking up and time to fix it. So whether you’re a good cook or not, or into football or not, I highly recommend taking a stab at it.

HAPPY HOUR OFF O FF F FA ALL LL DRAFTS Mon-Thurs 5-7 Fri & Sat 4:30-7:30

BLACK & GOLD FOOTBALL SUNDAYS OPEN DAILY • 9AM - 1:30AM

INGREDIENTS • 1 packet boneless chicken breasts, cut into bite-sized pieces • 1 large red onion, chopped • 3 green chilies, diced • 2 bell peppers, chopped • 1 sweet potato, peeled and chopped into one inch cubes • 12 oz. can Great Northern beans, drained • 1 liter chicken broth • 5 tbsp. olive oil • salt and pepper, to taste • garlic powder, wder, to taste • paprika, to taste • 1 cup sour ur cream • half and half, as desired ed

862 WESTERN AVE. 412-321-4550 themoderncafe.com

INSTRUCTIONS ONS Heat oil in one large pot and one pan.

Once oil is hot, add peppers, chilies and most of the chopped onion to pot.

Reduce heat. Add chicken, remaining onion, garlic powder, paprika, salt and pepper to pan. Stir and continue cooking until no pink is visible. Once peppers and onions caramelize, pour chicken broth into pot and bring to simmer. Add chicken and onions. Bring it to boil, add potatoes and beans, reduce to medium-low heat. Cook, stirring occasionally, for two to three hours or until chicken and potato are tender.

Stir in sour cream and half and half.

Continue cooking for 30 minutes. Serve with a big-ass baguette.

ALEXGORDON@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

WE WANT YOUR PERSONAL RECIPES AND THE STORIES BEHIND THEM. EMAIL THEM TO CELINE@PGHCITYPAPER.COM.

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{CP PHOTO BY JOHN COLOMBO}

Bartender Elliott Sussman shaking cocktails

[ON THE ROCKS]

MIRACLE ON LIBERTY {BY CELINE ROBERTS} BEVERAGE CONSULTANTS and bartenders Warren and Clayton built much of the Spencer Warren and Carrie Clayton have shelving themselves. Local bartenders also a Christmas present for Pittsburgh. Al- gave their time. “Without that happening, though they’ve been busy building menus it would have been damn near impossible and training staff in bars around the city, to get this place open in a week,” says Claywhen the opportunity came to pop-up a ton. “We realized the only thing we could holiday bar for a month, they set to work. do was make it look like Christmas vomited Miracle on Liberty opened on Nov. 25 to everywhere. There have been guests who ofmuch fanfare. “We did $4,000 in sales on fered to bring stuff in and we’re like, ‘Here, I’ll give you thumb tacks. Go nuts.’” the first Saturday,” says Clayton.

Cocktail Kingdom requires every The bar is part of a concept from Miracle bar to buy glassware from the company Cocktail Kingdom, MORE the company at cost, and there is purveyor of industry-standard PHOTOS LINwE. a universal menu that must be tools and barware. Two years ON w at w aper used, but there isn’t outright proago, the company opened a popp y pghcit m motion of the brand. Individual up Christmas bar in New York .co establishments are allowed to feaCity. Last year, the Miracle concept ture specials in order to showcase their expanded to a few other Northeastern states. This year, it’s gone international. creativity. This week, look for Winter White Locations include Athens, Greece; Paris; and Negronis. A portion of the proceeds from sales will go to a different charity every week.

West Coast U.S. cities.

If you’re looking for something non-alAll the bars are named “Miracle” plus their location. All are Christmas-themed, coholic to drink, Clayton’s daughter Adeline although Miracle on Liberty adds a Ha- Whitlock will be opening up a hot-chocolate nukah Hideaway. Pittsburgh’s Miracle is stand and donating some of her proceeds to unique because the space was previously charity. Bar snacks will also appear in the empty. “The thing that pushed us through form of Crockpot cocktail weenies, haluski last week, when we were exhausted and and “pretty much the most Pittsburgh holisleeping in the office, was when we looked day foods you can think of,” says Clayton.

Warren and Clayton might decide to at the list of all the other places doing this, they all went to existing bars. We didn’t get extend the hours for the week post-Christkeys to this space until about a week ago,” mas, but for now the bar is only open through Christmas Eve. Enjoy the good says Clayton.

Much of the space is donated. A friend, cheer and a stiff drink while you can.

Sean Enright of the Carrick Lit Club, provided C E L I N E @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM the animatronics. Half the decorations were donated by the Club, including ice wells 539 Liberty Ave., Downtown. and racks. Poros provided patio tables, and www.facebook.com/miraclepgh/

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.07/12.14.2016

BOOZE BATTLES {BY CELINE ROBERTS}

Each week, we order the same cocktail at two different bars for a friendly head-to-head battle.

Go to the bars, taste them both and tell us what you like about each by tagging @pghcitypaper on Twitter or Instagram and use #CPBoozeBattles. If you want to be a part of Booze Battles, send an email to food-and-beverage writer Celine Roberts, at celine@pghcitypaper.com.

THE DRINK: PIMM’S MM’S LIQUEUR

VS.

Spice Island Tea House

Franktuary

253 Atwood St., Oakland

3810 Butler St., Lawrenceville

DRINK: Pimm’s Cup INGREDIENTS: Pimm’s No. 1, house-made ginger beer, mint, orange with orange, mint and cucumber garnishes OUR TAKE: The delicate, warm flavors of the ginger beer are cooled by the cucumber and mint, which are particularly potent on the nose. Refreshing citrus from the orange adds depth to an otherwise mild and enjoyable cocktail.

DRINK: Pimm’s (No. 2) INGREDIENTS: Pimm’s, cucumber, St. Germain, lemon, lime and maraschino cherry garnishes OUR TAKE: This sweet, herbal and bubbly drink is basically an alcoholic soda. Lots of bubbles and a dry flavor profile keep it from being cloyingly sweet. The herbal aftertaste of the Pimm’s lingers after the finish while the bright notes of lemon and lime give the cocktail some tang.

This week on Sound Bite: Author and journalist Simran Sethi talks about her book Bread, Wine, Chocolate: The Slow Loss of Foods We Love. www.pghcitypaper.com

One Bordeaux, One Scotch, One Beer Brunello di Montalcino, Caparzo La Casa 2007 Price $19/glass or $90/bottle I love older vintage wine. Right now everyone seems to want newer wine, 2015. This one has very interesting characteristics. It’s very smooth and it’s very drinkable without food. Most Italian wine you drink with food.

— RECOMMENDED BY FRANCO BRACCIA, OWNER, SENTI RESTAURANT AND WINE BAR

Brunello di Montalcino, Caparzo La Casa 2007 is available at Senti Restaurant and Wine Bar by the glass and bottle.

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PARLOR INTRIGUE {BY AL HOFF}

THE FIRST-PERSON ACCOUNTS, MANY UNTOLD UNTIL NOW, RETAIN THE EVENT’S SHOCK

Park Chan-wook’s new film, The Handmaiden, is an erotic, languid crime thriller set on an isolated country estate, in 1930s Japanese-occupied Korea.

Living there is a fragile bird, Lady Hideko (Min-hee Kim), who is under the thumb of her domineering uncle (Jin-woong Jo), a collector of rare books. Newly arrived is Sook-hee (Tae-ri Kim), a young Korean woman hired to be Hideko’s handmaiden.

Jung-woo Ha and Min-hee Kim

CP APPROVED

But Sook-hee is actually a member of a thieves’ gang, dispatched as an undercover operative by her boss (Jung-woo Ha), who is posing as a Japanese count and hoping to marry the wealthy Hideko. In this exploration of a long con, to say more about how the story unfolds would spoil the film’s pleasures.

Naturally, the film features a lot of duality: the two physically similar women who share clothes; characters pretending to be another; the bifurcated mansion that is part English, part Japanese; and even the film, which offers “Part One” and “Part Two,” each telling the same story differently.

The Handmaiden has antecedents in Victorian melodrama (orphans, gentry trapped in creepy houses); the slow-burn of Hitchcockian suspense; and the more modern technique of non-linear narrative, which both hides and reveals information.

And like other grand period pieces, the film is beautifully produced, with fine cinematography and exquisite sets and costumes.

There is also a fair amount of sexually explicit material, with roots in vintage erotica, that toggles between meaningful and titillating. In a work that is ultimately about female sexual empowerment, there are scenes that can be read as exploitive.

But Park does have a loophole: He is depicting a milieu that favors male sexual dominance, and these men are presented as emotionless sadistic spectators.

The third part resolves the incongruities of the first two and drags a bit, even as Park adds more sex and violence (for fans of his earlier Old Boy, there is even a creepy octopus cameo).With a two-and-ahalf-hour running time, the film could have been tightened up, but understandably a work that is in part about self-indulgence is apt to become padded.

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In Korean and Japanese, with subtitles.

Starts Fri., Dec. 9. Regent Square

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Claire Wilson and her boyfriend, Thomas Eckman

AMERICAN HORROR STORY {BY AL HOFF}

“H

E’S UP in the tower!”

Keith Maitland’s affecting, .documentary-ish film, The Tower, recounts the fraught two hours before, during and after America’s first significant mass shooting on a school campus. At midday, on Aug. 1, 1966, at the University of Texas at Austin, a sniper set up on the observation deck of the clock tower, 28 stories above the campus and its open plazas. For 96 minutes, confusion, panic and terror ensued, as the gunman shot 46 people, killing 14.

The story is re-told by seven people present that day: pregnant student Claire Wilson; paper boy Aleck Hernandez; rookie patrolman Houston McCoy; off-duty officer Ramiro Martinez; campus bookstore manager Allen Crum (later deputized when he accompanied the cops to the top of the tower); freshman John Fox; and newsman Neal Spelce, who arrives on the scene in a station wagon equipped with an FM transmitter and winds up giving a horrified nation a real-time accounting.

Maitland takes a page from some current thoughts about how media covers

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.07/12.14.2016

such news, and focuses on the event and its effect on victims rather than on the killer.

(He’s not even identified until the film’s last moments; he was Charles Whitman, a 25-year-old engineering student who had also killed his family earlier that day.)

THE TOWER DIRECTED BY: Keith Maitland Starts Fri., Dec. 9. Harris

CP APPROVED The Tower reconstructs the event with actors (rotoscoped into animation), while intercutting archival footage. The firstperson accounts, many untold until now, retain the event’s shock; the recreated animated scenes feel remarkably intimate and immediate. What will strike modern viewers is the excruciatingly slow pace of the response, whether from cops, campus authorities, emergency medical or even just members of the public caught up in it. That’s no criticism — recounted here are some incredible stories of sacrifice

and heroism — but this happened before SWAT teams, text alerts and our common familiarity with mass-shooting events.

The real punch of this film comes in its final reel, in which Maitland offers a reckoning of historical events with today, including contemporary live-action interviews with some of the people featured earlier as “cartoons.” It’s an extraordinarily powerful transformation from past to present.

Also at the end, Maitland includes a brief reel of news footage from now boldfaced shorthand signifiers — Columbine, Virginia Tech, Sandy Hook — that illustrates how such “unthinkable” acts of random gun violence on campuses have become all too commonplace. That grim coda is intercut with a televised editorial statement from news anchor Walter Cronkite, following the Austin shooting.

He calls out the American propensity for violence, and the country’s unwillingness to confront its effects, and concludes that “it seems likely that Charles Joseph Whitman’s crime was society’s crime.” Familiar words from more than 50 years ago.

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FILM CAPSULES CP

= CITY PAPER APPROVED

NEW MANCHESTER BY THE SEA. Lee (Casey Affleck) seems like a pretty closed-up guy, living alone in the Boston area and working as a janitor. Yet he’s likely plodding along under some burdens — he rages at strangers and his bleak, haunted look matches the gloomy winter skies. He gets a call that his older brother has died, and his return to his hometown — the titular Manchester — sets off writer-director Kenneth Lonergan’s drama, a well-acted exploration of grief, in its assorted and complicated forms.

Manchester’s not a good place for Lee, and through flashbacks we learn why. We see how his brother, Joe (Kyle Chandler), was the steady good guy in the family, and how that absence has an immediate effect. There was once Lee’s wife, Randi (Michelle Williams), and a different set of circumstances. But now there’s Patrick (Lucas Hedges), Joe’s 16-yearold son who has been left in Lee’s care.

Much of the film is Lee and Patrick sorting out how to deal with each other; Patrick is a mercurial teenager, but he has more support systems than the isolated and emotionally damaged Lee. As much as they bicker and sulk, there are moments of goofiness and clarity that underscore how even this fractured family has some chance of survival. Manchester is a sobering work, with a couple of wrenching scenes. But Lonergan has a keen eye for the full spectrum of tragedy, which fortunately also includes humor and even hope. Starts Fri., Dec. 9 (Al Hoff)

CP

MISS SLOANE. John Madden directs this drama about a powerful Washington, D.C., lobbyist (Jessica Chastain) who shifts gears to fight for gun-control legislation. Starts Fri., Dec. 9

Manchester by the Sea lent revenge set-up. (You know it’s twisted when Michael Shannon shows up to play a lawman literally rotting from the inside out.)

Susan’s compulsive reading of the novel opens up a third plot in which she recalls her long-ago failed relationship with Edward, whom she rejected for his weakness. But as the Tony character takes a different path when his manhood is questioned, the blurring of these lines is enough for Susan to reconsider her former actions, and perhaps take fresh ones.

Nocturnal is a disappointing follow-up to director Tom Ford’s debut, the elegant and understated A Single Man. It is fantastic to look at, but its cross-story themes are too oblique at times. (It builds to a climax so low-key you might miss its import.) As a well-performed intellectual exercise, it holds one’s attention, especially if you don’t mind its more baroque touches and odd shifts in tone, but it lacks emotional engagement. After filleting the protagonists to expose their vulnerabilities, Ford seems content to view them with the same detached bemusement as he does the overweight go-go dancers the film brazenly opens with. Starts Fri., Dec. 9. (AH) OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY. Co-workers, holiday stress, family resentments, alcohol — what could go wrong? T.J. Miller, Jason Bateman and Jennifer Aniston head up this ensemble comedy about a totally wild party. Josh Gordon and Will Speck direct. Starts Fri., Dec. 9

Nocturnal Animals NOCTURNAL ANIMALS. Unhappily married art-gallery owner Susan (Amy Adams) receives a book manuscript in the mail, a novel penned by her estranged ex-husband, Edward (Jake Gyllenhaal); the book is dedicated to her, and there’s a note that suggests they meet. So Susan, who doesn’t sleep well — she is among the titular nocturnal animals — stays up late to read it, opening up the film’s story within a story.

The novel’s tale is a holiday from hell — a gritty version of a generic B-movie in which roadside thugs kidnap and abuse a family on a lonesome West Texas highway. Dad Tony (also Gyllenhaal) can’t save his wife (Adams’ lookalike Isla Fisher) or their teenage daughter, which prompts an increasingly dark and vio-

ROGUE ONE. First film in the new “Star Wars Anthology” series, depicting events prior to the original Star Wars. Gareth Edwards directs a cast including Felicity Jones, Diego Luna and Donnie Yen. Starts Thu., Dec. 15.

REPERTORY STRONG: LIFT LIKE A GIRL. Julie Wyman’s 2012 documentary profiles Olympic weight-lifter Cheryl Haworth, who, at 5’8” and 300 pounds, has to navigate an awkward space between celebrating her body for its prowess and confronting cultural expectations that uphold smaller, slimmer physical ideals for women. The film screens as part of an ongoing series of social-justice films. 6:30 p.m. Thu., Dec. 8. Eddy Theater, Chatham campus, Shadyside.

Free. www.justfilmspgh.org MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET. In George Seaton’s 1947 charmer, a Macy’s-store Santa, Kris Kringle, claims to be the real deal. This being modern America, lawyers are called in, but what counts most is winning hearts, not court cases. Look for the redCONTINUES ON PG. 38

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Film Kitchen and-white guy to triumph. 7:30 p.m. Thu., Dec. 8.

AMC Loews Waterfront. $5 CASTLE IN THE SKY. Two orphans set off on a quest to find a floating castle, encountering odd people and adventures along the way. Hayao Miyazaki directs this 1986 animated film. Dec. 9-15.

Row House Cinema HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE. Hayao Miyazaki’s 2004 anime is a magical mystery trip worth taking: A young girl is transformed into a 90-year-old woman and subsequently rescued by a rebellious wizard named Howl. Dec. 9-15. Row House Cinema

ments of two of his own performance-art pieces; an offbeat tribute to the organ; “Bemusement Park,” a unique take on Kennywood; and “Wild Horses Couldn’t …,” a wordless, impressionistic and sometimes beautiful document of two trips to Assateague Island, with its famed wild horses. Other shorts on the hour-long Dec. 13 program, curated by Matthew R. Day, are: Bill Moore’s “Vector Security,” a satirical comedy about a low-rent security firm; Kevin Hejna’s dark thriller “Power Play”; and Andy Keleman’s “Tastefully Done,” a gothic comedy that opens with a fatal car accident. 8 p.m. Tue., Dec. 13 (7 p.m. reception). Melwood Screening Room, 477 Melwood Ave., Oakland. $5. www.pfpca.org (Bill O’Driscoll)

KIKI’S DELIVERY SERVICE. In Hayao Miyazaki’s 1989 animated film, a teenage witch launches a delivery service, with help from her flying broomstick and adorable black cat. Dec. 9-15. Row House Cinema PONYO. Who wouldn’t want a goldfish to be a real pet? In Hayao Miyazaki’s 2008 anime, a lively goldfish princess escape the sea to make friends with a young boy. Dec. 9-15. Row House Cinema A CHRISTMAS STORY. Guess what Ralphie wants for Christmas? An official Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle. Will he get it?

Discover this and other small wonders of holidays past in Bob Clark’s 1983 holiday film, presented on the big screen. 7 p.m. Fri., Dec. 9; 4:30 p.m. Sat., Dec. 10; 4:30 p.m. Sun., Dec. 11; and 7 p.m. Tue., Dec. 13 (Hollywood). Also, 7:30 p.m. Thu., Dec. 15 (AMC Loews Waterfront, $5) IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE. Why not catch Frank Capra’s beloved 1946 holiday classic, in which a harried man (Jimmy Stewart) re-discovers the simple joys of life, on the big screen? Tell ’em Clarence sent you. 7:30 p.m. Tue., Dec. 13. AMC Loews Waterfront. $5 FILM KITCHEN. The monthly series for local and independent artists is highlighted by “Connection Lost (The Tinder Opera).” The clever romantic comedy features original music sung by actual opera singers, including tenor Scott Joiner as a young man trying (and failing) to date via social media. Credited to Joiner and Pittsburgh native Adam Taylor, and shot in Taylor’s current hometown of New York City, the 11-minute piece delivers its tuneful score with smart lyrics and visual whimsy. Also showing are five new shorts by experimental filmmaker tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE, including docu-

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.07/12.14.2016

Kiki’s Delivery Service NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VACATION. For my money, the funniest entry in the “Vacation” franchise, because it taps a universal truth: Other people’s behavior ruins your holidays, while your behavior contributes to other people’s misery. It’s all about giving and getting! Everyman Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) tries to lay on the perfect Christmas, but is undercut by his low-rent cousin (Randy Quaid), uptight neighbors, demanding elderly relatives, his boss, a squirrel and a tangle of Christmas lights. Jeremiah S. Chechik directs this 1989 neo-classic holiday comedy, penned by John Hughes. 8 p.m. Thu., Dec. 15. Hollywood (AH)

CP

“ANYBODY CAN PLAY THIS GAME. ALL RACES, AGES SHAPES AND SIZES.”

RONALD RULES {BY CHARLIE DEITCH} Antonio Brown wants you to call him Ronald. He didn’t say why, just “From now on call me Ronald.” I know about this “news” because it was reported absolutely everywhere. It was on television, in print, online and in publications ranging from small outlets to USA Today.

He announced the name change after practice last Friday and then announced that it was for “top-secret” reasons.

Reporters tried to soldier on and ask football questions, but Ronald only wanted to talk about his new moniker.

{CP PHOTO BY LUKE THOR TRAVIS}

The athlete formerly known as Antonio Brown

REPORTER: Any lingering effects from that hip issue you had a couple of weeks ago?

RONALD: “There’s effects against Ronald everywhere.”

{CP PHOTOS BY THEO SCHWARZ}

Carl Harrington, a.k.a. Death Card, takes a position during a scenario paintball game at Three Rivers Paintball in Freedom.

BROTHERS IN ARMS

REPORTER: With the league getting on you about your cleats, yet this week guys can do what they want … would you like to see that freed up a little bit?

RONALD: “We all follow the rules.

The NFL does a great job of taking care of the players. Ronald just gotta follow the rules.”

For the record, I love Ronald. I love it because we take sports too seriously as fans and even as journalists. Certainly the NFL takes the game too seriously when they fine guys for custom cleats or for doing a four-pump twerk when three pumps is apparently the imaginary standard. You can’t take your helmet off and celebrate; you can’t do a choreographed celebration with a teammate. That day in 2003 when former Saints wide receiver Joe Horn celebrated a touchdown by pulling out his cell phone (a flip-phone no less), started the NFL’s descent into the “No Fun League.”

I’m sure there’s no great meaning behind Ronald’s emergence in a No. 84 Steelers jersey. He’s probably just fucking with everyone because it’s funny and the more people take it seriously, the funnier it gets. Well, it’s funny to me, but we are the paper that brings you coverage of underwater hockey and competitive paintball.

L

IKE MOST forty-somethings, friends

Rahim Jones and Carl Harrington wanted to find an activity to get them up off the couch and moving. Also, like a lot of forty-something Gen Xers, they grew up playing video games, so if they were leaving the house, it had to be for something challenging and entertaining.

They realized that the sport they were looking for was paintball. What they didn’t realize when they started, however, was how much of their lives and their time it would consume. Not that they’re complaining. Jones and Harrington compete as a duo called the Command B.R.O.S., and the partnership extends beyond running-and-gunning across tri-state-area paintball fields.

They’ve become well-known in the world of scenario paintball for both high levels of play and a YouTube channel (www. tinyurl. com/CommandBrosTv) that puts the sport in front of their lens.

“We had security jobs and so we were

sitting around all day,” Harrington says.

“We were bored so we gave it a try and it just blew up. The best part is when you play this game you can become a character; you can become whoever you want.”

The Command B.R.O.S. are taking the game of paintball to the next level {BY CHARLIE DEITCH} Harrington and Jones grew up watching G.I. Joe cartoons and playing with the action figures. They decided to model their paintball personas after their favorite characters. Jones became Brik Top, a.k.a. The Immortal, because he was a fan of the musclebound G.I. Joe machine-gunner, Roadblock.

Harrington, always a fan of the masked special-ops mastermind Snake Eyes, patterns his persona, NRG-1 a.k.a. The Death Card, after the character.

“That’s also how we play the game,” Harrington says. “Brik will run at things head-on and I prefer a stealthier approach.”

Adds Jones: “I like to walk in there like I can’t be hit.”

The two play scenario paintball, a much different game than traditional head-tohead competitions. Scenario paintball is usually a one- or multi-day event broken up into several chapter-like missions, much the way modern video games are designed.

There’s usually one main goal that you work toward through the event, and each chapter has its own objective. It could involve securing an item, for example, or it could mean solving a puzzle. Each also has a theme, usually based on a famous battle like the D-Day invasion; a movie, like the Lord of the Rings; or a well-known video game like Assassin’s Creed.

Mission Masters is the area’s premier scenario-paintball company. It was started

by Dean Allen, a paintball enthusiast since

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the mid-1980s. He says he first started to play scenario games in 2002 and was disappointed. “I couldn’t believe this was all the farther paintball had evolved since I first started playing,” Allen says. “I dropped $100 and felt like a number. I wasn’t with the incrowd, so I didn’t get to be directly involved in the missions and the fun. That’s why Mission Masters sets out to make sure everyone is included and part of the game.”

On Nov. 5, Mission Masters held its final event of the year (three to four events are planned for 2017) at Three Rivers Paintball in Freedom. The contest was based on the Resident Evil video game. Hundreds joined in, including the Command B.R.O.S. Jones says Allen’s scenarios are second to none.

“Nobody’s out there putting on the type of events that Dean does,” Jones says. “You can’t grow a sport unless it’s accessible to everyone. “Anybody can play this game. All races, ages shapes and sizes.”

Harrington says the games attract all kinds of players, from the fighters on the field to puzzle fans to older players who can’t run but stay behind the lines, like generals plotting strategies. “For them, it’s like a game of Risk all day long,” Harrington says.

“But that’s the great part of this. Make it what you want and have fun.”

Allen says Jones and Harrington are good for the sport because they give it exposure through their videos and they make an effort to teach the game, not just play for themselves. Both men referee youth games at local paintball parks and teach young players strategy and, most importantly, sportsmanship.

“The great thing about these guys is how they expose people to the game,” Allen says. “When I first started playing, nobody cared if I got involved. But these guys

Carl Harrington, left, a.k.a. Death Card, and Rahim Jones, a.k.a. The Immortal, are making a splash in scenario paintball games.

will take new players and put them on their team and they make sure the kids are included, and everyone loves their videos.

“They are exactly the kind of ambassadors that this game needs to grow.”

That’s what Jones and Harrington want to do with their videos. They preach the gospel of a game that not only makes you use your body, but also your mind. The duo wants more players involved, and at the end of their videos they challenge the viewer with a simple question: What do you do?

“I don’t think I’ll ever get too old for this,” Harrington says. “Look, I can’t afford to take a lot of exotic trips, and I also can’t just live to work. This allows us to go out, run around and be whoever we want to be.

“He’s the Immortal, I’m the Death Card and we paintball. What do you do?”

C D E I T C H @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.07/12.14.2016

[THE CHEAP SEATS]

ROTTEN BUSINESS {BY MIKE WYSOCKI} IN THE WORST-KEPT secret of baseball’s off-

season, the Pirates want to get rid of Andrew McCutchen. “You’ve been the franchise’s best player in 25 years; now get out.” That’s the only way to compete with the Cubs and Cardinals next year, apparently. Sure, his first seven seasons included an MVP, a Gold Glove, and five MLB All-Star Games. But his performance dropped off last year, and that means the Pirates can no longer afford to keep around the 67th highest-paid player in the game. MVP-less players like Yulieski Gurriel, Elvis Andrus and Homer Bailey all make more money than McCutchen. So forget about any of those guys, because they must be out of our price range.

If the Pirates move McCutchen, Francisco Cervelli will assume the title of highestpaid Bucco. It’s a curse like being the world’s oldest man; the countdown to your exit has already begun. Cervelli’s $9 million contract is still less than what the Pirates paid Jason Kendall 16 years ago. The Pirates seem content running a thrift store disguised as a baseball team. Apparently, 2015, when the Pirates won 98 games, was the team’s zenith. Just 14 months later, only 11 players from that team remain. The dismantling began almost immediately, and trading McCuthchen would send a message to Pirates fans and future players: If you are the best player at your position for years, sign a team-friendly contract below your market value, and never cause any controversy, that’s not good enough. “It’s just business” is a phrase used to justify everything from job layoffs to benefits reductions to mob hits. If you use that term, you can do anything you want.

McCutchen is the only player since Barry Bonds whom fans from outposts like DuBois, Somerset, Meadville and East Liverpool, Ohio, would drive hours to see play.

He’s the only Pirate your mom can identify, and the only Pirates player anyone outside of Western Pennsylvania recognizes. Thousands of kids with No. 22 jerseys would be crushed. People were a little upset when Nate McLouth was sent packing; imagine the pain when McCutchen is shown the door.

If Pirates management is going to trade the face of the team, they are going about it the wrong way. Telling everyone that you want to trade him immediately diminishes

{CP FILE PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL}

Andrew McCutchen

his value. Interested teams are lining up to lowball the Pirates because they look desperate. At least try to play it cool. Teams like the Nationals, Dodgers and Blue Jays are already telling the Pirates which top prospects they won’t trade for him. Hopefully, they’ll work out a better deal than they did with Neil Walker. Last year they traded their second-most popular player to the Mets for pitcher Jon Niese. Niese was terrible, so they traded him back to the Mets for Antonio Bastardo. Bastardo was a player the Pirates had let go the previous off-season because they didn’t think he was worth his contract.

What if the Pirates trade McCutchen to Atlanta for a pitcher, then trade that pitcher back to Atlanta in July for new Brave Sean Rodriguez? It could happen.

The precedent for stupidity has already been set.

McCutchen has been through the best and worst of times with the Bucs. In 2010, they bottomed out with a 57-105 record, but just five years later they went 98-64. Last year Cutch hit 24 home runs and drove in 79 runs; those kind of seasons put you on the Pirates’ trading block. On the bright side, maybe the Pirates have raised their standards. There can’t possibly be one Pirates fan that wants to see him leave. Unless you are heir apparent to his position, like Austin Meadows, nobody wants to see this happen.

After years of bungling high draft picks, the Pirates finally got it right when they drafted the outfielder from Fort Meade, Florida. Cutch brought the dormant Pirates fans back to the ballpark. He even got kids who identified the Pirates only with losing to start appreciating the great sport of baseball. Ticket sales and jersey sales began to boom once again. But oh, well, baseball owners worth millions of dollars can’t rest comfortably unless they find a way to save money. It’s just business, after all.

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SWAPPING SIDES

ACROSS 1. Colliding bits 6. Problems for lighthouses 10. Scribble (down) 13. First in a series 14. Reed instrument 15. Brit Lit assignment, maybe 16. Forest moon of sci-fi 17. Payne of One Direction 18. Rickey ingredient 19. Slangy honks?

22. “What ___ you saying?”

25. Daft Punk, e.g.

26. Fireplace shaft 27. Red spots you might get from a feeding trough?

32. Waffle that comes in a “Homestyle” variety 33. Couple of bucks?

34. Breath mint taken in self-defense?

42. Positive particle 43. Tiniest bit 44. Giving director Ingmar a hard time?

50. Gambling game at a convenience store 51. Shoe size letters 52. Glamour figs.

53. Pastries with colorful cravats?

58. Long Trail selection 59. “Dagblasted” 60. Mumford and Sons instrument 64. Shark’s giveaway 65. Really corny 66. U-shaped yoke 67. 61-Down broadcaster 68. 61-Down broadcaster 69. “Family Circus” cartoonist

DOWN 1. Copy mindlessly 2. With 41-Down, food drive donations 3. Broken down 4. Big name in synthesizers 5. Walked 6. Prison that took Cash 7. “Guards at the Taj” award 8. Kickstarter number 9. Big road runner 10. Shake a bit 11. Loathsome 12. Unable to relax 20. Sharers’ word 21. Bills’ home: Abbr.

22. Straw poll city 23. Sauce that comes in a “Homestyle” variety 24. Bridge builder: Abbr.

28. Mike Pence, e.g.: Abbr.

29. Burrowing fish 30. Space bar neighbor on PCs 31. Compete in the super G 35. Jr.’s son 36. Super Bowl 50 MVP Miller 37. Director Lee 38. Small butt?

39. Heavy reading 40. Somewhat 41. See 2-Down 44. Land, in a boat 45. Start a new

paragraph 46. Small point 47. Hammered 48. “Get that thing out of HERE!” 49. Puma rival 50. Jell-O and Velveeta’s owner 54. In between gears 55. Reliever’s stats 56. Summer getaway 57. ___-Coburg 61. See 67- and 68-Across 62. Snow on television 63. “I don’t ___ you anything!” {LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS}

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FOR THE WEEK OF

Free Will Astrology

12.07-12.14

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “The awesome splendor of the universe is much easier to deal with if you think of it as a series of small chunks,” wrote novelist Terry Pratchett. That’s true enough, but I’ll add a caveat: Now and then the trickle of small chunks of awesome splendor gives way to a surge of really big chunks. According to my astrological analysis, that’s either already happening for you, or else is about to happen. Can you handle it? I’m sure you’ve noticed that some people are unskilled at welcoming such glory; they prefer to keep their lives tidy and tiny. They may even get stressed out by their good fortune. I trust you’re not one of these fainthearted souls. I hope you will summon the grace you’ll need to make spirited use of the onslaught of magnificence.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In his book The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, John Koenig coins words to describe previously unnamed feelings. I suspect you may have experienced a few of them recently. One is “monachopsis,” defined as “the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.” Then there’s “altschmerz,” meaning “weariness with the same old issues you’ve always had.” Another obscure sorrow you might recognize is “nodus tollens,” or “the realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense anymore.” Now I’ll tell you two of Koenig’s more uplifting terms, which I bet you’ll feel as you claw your way free of the morass. First, there’s “liberosis”: caring less about unimportant things; relaxing your grip so you can hold your life loosely and playfully.

Second, there’s “flashover,” that moment when conversations become “real and alive, which occurs when a spark of trust shorts out the delicate circuits you keep insulated under layers of irony.”

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In 1983, two Australian blokes launched a quest to tip a drink at every pub in Melbourne. Thirtytwo years later, Mick Stevens and Stuart MacArthur finally accomplished their goal when they sipped beers at The Clyde. It was the 476th establishment on their list. The coming weeks will be a highly favorable time to plan an epic adventure of your own, Aquarius. I hope and pray, though, that you will make it more sacred and meaningful than Stevens and MacArthur’s trivial mission.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): For three seasons of the year — spring, summer and fall — a certain weasel species has brown fur. During that time, it’s known as a stoat. When winter arrives, the creature’s coat turns to white.

Its name changes, too. We call it an ermine. The next spring, it once again becomes a stoat. Given the nature of the astrological omens, Pisces, I think it would make poetic sense for you to borrow this strategy. What would you like your

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nickname to be during the next three months?

Here are a few suggestions: Sweet Sorcerer; Secret Freedom-Seeker; Lost-and-Found Specialist; Mystery Maker; Resurrector.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Normally I cheer you on when you devote singleminded attention to pressing concerns, even if you become a bit obsessive. But right now, in accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to run wild and free as you sample lavish variety. It’s prime time to survey a spectrum of spicy, shiny and feisty possibilities … to entertain a host of ticklish riddles rather than to insist on prosaic answers.

You have been authorized by the cosmos to fabricate your own temporary religion of playing around and messing around and fooling around.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus poet Adrienne Rich described “an honorable human relationship” as “one in which two people have the right to use the word ‘love.’”

How is that right earned? How is such a bond nurtured? Rich said it was “often terrifying to both persons involved,” because it’s “a process of refining the truths they can tell each other.”

I bring this to your attention, Taurus, because you’re in a favorable phase to become an even more honorable lover, friend and ally than you already are. To take advantage of the opportunity, explore this question: How can you supercharge and purify your ability to speak and hear the truth?

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In Goethe’s play Faust, the hero bemoans his lack of inner unity. Two different souls live within him, he says, and they don’t cooperate. Even worse, they each try to rule him without consulting the other. I’m guessing you’ve experienced a more manageable version of that split during the course of your life. Lately, though, it may have grown more intense and divisive. If that’s true, I think it’s a good sign. It portends the possibility that healing is in the works . . . that energy is building for a novel synthesis. To help make it happen, identify and celebrate what your two sides have in common.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The poet Dick Allen described Zen Buddhism as being “so filled with paradoxes that it jumps through hoops that aren’t even there.” I’m tempted to apply this description to the way you’ve been living your life recently. While I can see how it may have entertained you to engage in such glamorous intrigue, I’m hoping you will stop. There is no longer anything to be gained by the complicated hocus-pocus. But it’s fine for you to jump through actual hoops if doing so yields concrete benefits.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.07/12.14.2016

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): For decades, numerous self-help authors have claimed that humans use 10 percent or less of their brain’s potential. But the truth is that our gray matter is far more active than that. The scientific evidence is now abundant. (See a summary here: tinyurl.com/mindmyths.) I hope this helps spur you to destroy any limited assumptions you might have about your own brainpower, Leo. According to my astrological analysis, you could and should become significantly smarter in the next nine months — and wiser, too!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Born under the sign of Virgo, Mary Oliver is America’s best-selling poet. She wasn’t an overnight sensation, but she did win a Pulitzer Prize when she was 49. “What I loved in the beginning, I think, was mostly myself,” she confesses in one poem. “Never mind that I had to, since somebody had to. That was many years ago.” I bet that even at her current age of 81, Oliver is still refining and deepening her self-love. Neither she nor you will ever be finished with this grand and grueling project. Luckily for you both, now is a time when Virgos can and should make plucky progress in the ongoing work. (P.S.: And this is an essential practice if you want to keep refining and deepening your love for others.)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Most high-quality suits worn by men are made from the wool of merino sheep raised in Australia. So says Nicholas Antongiavanni in his book The Suit: A Machiavellian Approach to Men’s Style. There are now more than 100 million members of this breed, but they are all descendants of just two rams and four ewes from 18th-century Spain. How did that happen? It’s a long story. (Read about it here: tinyurl. com/merinosheep.) For the oracular purposes of this horoscope, I’ll simply say that in the next nine months you’ll also have the potential to germinate a few choice seeds that could ultimately yield enormous, enduring results. Choose well!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Five of my Scorpio acquaintances and 17 of my Scorpio readers have let me know that they’re actively seeking to make new alliances and strengthen their existing alliances. Does this mean that Scorpios everywhere are engaged in similar quests? I hope so. I would love to see you expand your network of like-minded souls. I would love for you to be ardent about recruiting more help and support. Happily, the current astrological omens favor such efforts. Hot tip: For best results, be receptive, inviting and forthright.

Imagine it’s many years from now. As you look back on your life, what adventure do you regret not trying? Truthrooster@gmail.com

GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT-MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 OR 1-900-950-7700

Savage Love {BY DAN SAVAGE}

I’m a 37-year-old gay man who just got out of an abusive relationship. We were together five years, moved to Portland together, got married three years ago, yada, yada, yada. He suffered a traumatic injury earlier this year, which led to PTSD, which led to a nervous breakdown, which led to our savings being depleted, which led him to leave me in October. He moved back to the other side of the country, and I’m broke and on my own in a strange city. I saw your dirty-film festival when it played here, and it made me realize something: At my age, I should still be enjoying myself and evolving sexually. I was unhappy in my marriage for the last two years, but sexually I was unhappy for a long time. Recently, I had a decent one-night stand. It was a drunken, stoned hot mess, but it got the job done — and there was no guilt on my part, which to me signifies that it really is over with my ex. But I can’t help feeling like I’m starting over. Not just dating, but starting over with my sex life and my writing. My ex had me switch from LGBT media — which I am very good at — to copywriting, which sucks but is “steadier.”

The point is: I want so much sexually, because I’ve been starved physically and psychologically, but I don’t know where to begin. I feel like my marriage eviscerated me sexually. Not just the sex part of it, but the parts of my homosexuality that felt important to my personality, not just my turn-ons. Help.

Please don’t succumb to meth or any of the other stupid drugs. Pot and alcohol — in moderation — aren’t stupid drugs.

Reach out to friends you lost touch with over the last five years, apologize for letting these relationships go, and ask if they’d like to reconnect. Not all will — some might be too angry to reconnect right now, some might not have any extra friendship bandwidth right now. Focus on friends who want to reconnect, and don’t be bitter about friends who don’t.

Masturbate. A lot. And don’t use porn every single time — try using your imagination, flip through the ol’ solodex. Be open to new experiences. Ask yourself where you’ve always wanted to go. Pick a big gay event you’ve always wanted to attend — gay days at Disneyland, International Mr. Leather in Chicago, the World Series of Beer Pong in Las Vegas — and start setting money aside so you’ll have that trip to look forward to.

[DAILY RUNDOWN]

YOUR HUSBAND SENT THOSE PICS BECAUSE HE ENJOYS SHOWING OFF THE GOODS.

I’m a 44-year-old married gay male. I recently found out my 30-year-old husband has been sending dick pics to randoms on Grindr. He says he doesn’t remember who he sent pics to, or why, other than I was working late and he was drunk and pissed at me.

I want to be mature about this, but I’m really hurt. We’ve been together more than four years and married six months.

We have a closed, monogamous relationship. He says he’s been faithful, and I believe him. I’m struggling to trust him, however. Am I overreacting?

HELP UNDERSTANDING RELATIONSHIP TRAUMA

GRIEVING AND YEARNING MAN ASKING NICELY

You’re not too old to enjoy yourself and evolve sexually, GAYMAN — you’re never too old to enjoy yourself or evolve, sexually or otherwise. But it takes time to bounce back after a committed LTR ends traumatically. So don’t rush yourself. But as soon as you can — sooner than perhaps it feels right — you’ll need to get out there. You’ll need to actively and intentionally reconnect to your homosexuality and the ways in which it shaped and continues to inform your personality, your perspective, and your joy.

And now some random tips…

I’m not being look-ist or body-fascist here — this isn’t about having Instagrammable abs or the best torso on Grindr — but join a gym.

Or take up a sport that kicks your ass, cardiowise. Forcing your body to outrun your brain is a good way to get back in touch with yourself physically, emotionally and sexually. And exercising — again, I’m not talking abs here — is good for us. It’s a natural antidepressant.

It gets blood pumping into our extremities.

(Your dick is an extremity.) And it gets us out of our heads. It also creates a social space, if you do it regularly, where you can make friends and connections without booze or drugs or the scourge of dance music.

Go volunteer at the ACLU or Planned Parenthood, do some copywriting for an LGBT civil-rights organization, find out what orgs are working with immigrants in your community and ask them what kind of help they need.

Which would you rather have, HURT: This particular husband (a.k.a. the man you married) or a husband (a generic husband) who wouldn’t, couldn’t and didn’t send dick pics to randoms on Grindr? Given a choice between a perfect, flawless, blameless but imaginary husband and the imperfect, flawed, living, breathing husband you’ve got, which would you pick?

Hopefully with that choice made, your husband needs to drop the “I was mad at you for working late” bullshit and take responsibility for his actions. Drunk may have played a role, as booze is the great disinhibitor, but swapping dick pics isn’t something reasonable dick-having people do in response to run-ofthe-mill annoyances. Your husband sent those pics because he enjoys showing off the goods.

So what to do about it? You could forbid it but creating a little space in our marriages for pleasures we may not share or fully understand — making accommodations instead of issuing threats — can make our marriages stronger, not weaker, less contentious and therefore less brittle. If swapping pics makes your husband feel desirable, and he plows that sexual energy into you … not only aren’t you being betrayed, you’re benefiting.

If I were you I would grant him this small zone of erotic autonomy.

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SPEAKING OF HUMP!: My porny film festival’s 2017 tour kicks off in January. For cities, info, and tickets, go to humpfilmfest.com.

SEND YOUR QUESTIONS TO MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET AND FIND THE SAVAGE LOVECAST (DAN’S WEEKLY PODCAST) AT SAVAGELOVECAST.COM

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