February 8, 2017 - Pittsburgh City Paper by Pittsburgh City Paper

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EVENTS

Kid Koala: Nufonia Must Fall

2.10 – 7pm TALKS BACK: A SCREENING PROGRAM The Warhol theater Co-presented with the Miller Gallery and the School of Art at Carnegie Mellon University FREE; Registration suggested; visit warhol.org

3.16 – 8pm Carnegie Music Hall (Oakland)

Co-presented with The New Hazlett Theater. Part ﬁlm, part puppetry, part live music, and 100% award-winning storytelling, Nufonia Must Fall is a multidisciplinary performance piece created by internationally renowned Canadian DJ and musician Kid Koala and directed by KK Barrett (Being John Malkovich and Her). Get ready for romancing the Anthropocene.

2.11 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: VALERIE JUNE Carnegie Lecture Hall (Oakland) This performance is co-presented with Calliope: The Pittsburgh Folk Music Society. Tickets $20/$15 members & students

Co-commissioned by BAM, Luminato Festival, Adelaide Festival, Banff Centre, Internationales Sommerfestival Hamburg, Roundhouse UK, and Noorderzon Performing Arts Festival Groningen

Tickets $25/$20 members & students; visit www.warhol.org or call 412.237.8300

2.12 – 11am VINTAGE VALENTINES WORKSHOP AT ACE HOTEL Ace Hotel – Gym (East Liberty) Ace Hotel Pittsburgh is The Warhol’s ofﬁcial hotel sponsor. FREE; Registration suggested, visit warhol.org

Bang on a Can: Field Recordings

2.18 – 8pm SOUNDS SERIES: HYPERCUBE The Warhol theater Co-presented with the Music on the Edge series of the University of Pittsburgh Department of Music Free parking in The Warhol lot. Tickets: $20/$15 students; visit www.music.pitt.edu/tickets or call 412.624.7529

3.25 – 8pm Carnegie Lecture Hall (Oakland)

Presented with Music on the Edge series of the University of Pittsburgh Department of Music, and the Pittsburgh Humanities Festival. The Bang on a Can All-Stars are an electric chamber ensemble known for exploring the furthest reaches of the classical music world. Field Recordings is the group’s ongoing multimedia project that combines music, ﬁlm, found sound, and obscure audio-visual archives. A new soundscape for the Anthropocene.

2.24 – 7pm NO HALF STEPPIN’: AUTHOR READING AND BOOK SIGNING WITH PARADISE GRAY The Warhol theater Co-presented by 1Hood Media and Artist Image Resource (AIR) FREE; Registration suggested for all free programs

Tickets $15/$12 members & students; visit www.warhol.org or call 412.237.8300 Both performances are presented with Carnegie Nexus, as part of the Strange Times series. Media sponsors for Strange Times.

The Andy Warhol Museum receives state arts funding support through a grant from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, a state agency funded by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency and The Heinz Endowments. Further support is provided by the Allegheny Regional Asset District.

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Editor CHARLIE DEITCH News Editor REBECCA ADDISON Arts & Entertainment Editor BILL O’DRISCOLL Associate Editor AL HOFF Web Producer ALEX GORDON Staff Writers RYAN DETO, CELINE ROBERTS Interns JOHN HAMILTON, KATEY LADIKA, AMANI NEWTON, ALONA WILLIAMS

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“This issue of artmaking, and building community around artmaking, is central.” PAGE 33

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[ADMINISTRATION] Circulation Director JIM LAVRINC Office Administrator RODNEY REGAN Interactive Media Manager CARLO LEO

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“Style-wise, the songs are united by an experimental DIY mentality.” PAGE 26

News 06 Views 14 Weird 16 Music 26 Arts 33 Events 36 Taste 40

Screen 44 Sports 46 Classifieds 48 Crossword 50 Astrology 52 Savage Love 53 The Last Word 54 NEWS

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“THE BIGGEST ISSUE IS SEX WORKERS NOT KNOWING WHERE THEY CAN GO AND TALK OPENLY AND HONESTLY.”

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In this week’s City Paper podcast, CP staffers discuss online dating and hook-up apps like Tinder. Listen at www.pghcitypaper.com.

Last week, hundreds rallied at the local offices of U.S. Sen. Pat Toomey and state Rep. Dom Costa to decry anti-immigrant policies. Follow our coverage of ongoing resistance efforts at www.pghcitypaper.com.

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AST MAY, while many were caught up in the presidential election, Amnesty International published a call for the decriminalization of sex work. The group joined other international organizations, like the United Nations and the World Health Organization, who have been working to raise awareness about the impact decriminalizing sex work would have on issues like sexual violence and public health. “Sex workers are among the most vulnerable people in society and are routinely subjected to violence, discrimination and harassment,” said Margaret Huang, interim executive director of Amnesty International USA, in a statement. “They cannot turn to the police and have very few options for protection. “Our goal is to protect the human rights of all people, particularly those who are

most vulnerable, and decriminalizing sex work is one crucial step toward protecting the human rights of sex workers. This policy is based on years of research and consultation, including with current and former

Pittsburgh offers several resources for sex workers, but the industry’s stigma keeps many from accessing them {BY REBECCA ADDISON} sex workers on both sides of the question of decriminalization. In the end, we’re outlining how governments can best protect people engaged in sex work from violence and discrimination.” According to WHO, female sex workers

are 13.5 percent more likely to have HIV than other women of reproductive age. WHO says that studies indicate decriminalizing sex work could lead to a 46 percent reduction in new HIV infections in sex workers over 10 years. But based on regressive attitudes toward the sex trade in the United States — as evidenced by recent actions such as the shutdown of classiﬁeds website Backpage. com’s adult section — decriminalization might be a long way off. For now there are organizations working in cities across the country to better serve the sex-worker community and ensure it has access to social services. Pittsburgh is doing the same. Several local organizations provide no-judgment spaces where sex workers can receive services like counseling and health care. The problem? Many health and public-services CONTINUES ON PG. 08

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organizations don’t market themselves to the sex-worker community. And often, the stigma associated with sex work stops workers from seeking them out. “The biggest issue is [sex workers] not knowing where they can go and talk openly and honestly about the risk behaviors they’re engaging in for fear of judgment and being turned into the police,” says Lyndsey Sickler, Persad Center’s youth-services coordinator. “Nobody in the city that I know of actually advertises directly to sex workers, so that ends up being a big barrier.” Persad is a human-services organization serving the LGBT community. Through working with Persad, Sickler has seen how the stigma placed on sex work prevents youth sex workers from obtaining necessary resources. “Even though it’s 2017, Pittsburgh is way far behind in terms of sex-worker rights,” Sickler says. “People should stop demonizing sex work, because if there weren’t clients, they wouldn’t be doing it. Sex workers get a bad rap when really they’re providing a service just like everybody else.” One common misconception Sickler sees is that sex work equals sex trafﬁcking. In a 2005 report by the Sex Workers Project, 17 out of the 21 sex workers interviewed said they were not trafﬁcked against their will. “There should be more open communication. People should realize that some people do engage in this profession because they wish to,” says Sickler. “There’s a lot of different circumstances as to why somebody would choose to do sex work. “I hope more conversation is had around this around the city. This has been an historical issue in the city and quite often very ignored.” Sickler says those seeking more information about sex work can turn to organizations like Trans Pride Pittsburgh, Sisters

United and Trans Youniting, which Sickler says are sex-positive and friendly community groups that actively work with people either currently engaged in sex work or those previously employed in the sex-work industry. But Sickler believes more sexworker advocacy groups are necessary. “I believe in creating spaces that are as judgment-free as possible and safe for all people. We’ve really done a disservice to people in the sex-working community because there is no community,” says Sickler. “When I talk to young people engaged in sex work I have personally witnessed their high anxiety, not knowing where they can turn, not knowing where they can get resources and not knowing who they can talk to.” Among the resources Sickler points them to is the Pittsburgh AIDS Task Force, which provides HIV testing and other health services and counseling. Jason Herring, PATF director of programs and communications, says the stigma associated with sex work prevents many served by PATF from disclosing that they are in the sex-worker industry. But he says that full disclosure helps PATF to ensure its clients are receiving the care they need. “We really want people to be honest. We’re a harm-reduction facility, so at the heart of that, we don’t judge,” says Herring. “I’m not going to tell you what to do or what not to do. I’m here to help you be healthier. Part of that is knowing what you’re involved in that you may need help with. Everybody is usually worried about judgment.” In addition to free HIV testing, PATF provides risk-mitigation counseling to each of its clients, advising them of safety precautions. Sex workers are often advised to take PrEP or Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis, an oral medication taken daily that reduces the chance of HIV transmission. In countries outside of the United States,

“THE MOST IMPORTANT THING WE CAN DO IS TO REALIZE STIGMA IS BAD.”

*Certain restrictions apply.

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LANDMARKS PRESERVATION RESOURCE CENTER - A program of the Pittsburgh History & Landmarks Foundation Foundation

Join us at the Landmarks Preservation Resource Center for ongoing workshops as we continue programming on architecture, history, design, urban planning, and other topics related to how cities function and historic preservation as a tool of community development.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 16 • 6:30 PM – 8:30 PM

WORKSHOP: EXTERIOR WOODWORK MAINTENANCE AND REPAIR REGIS WILL: Carpenter & Craftsman, Vesta Home Services, LLC In this workshop, we focus on how to maintain and repair the exterior woodwork of your house, and also look at which products and techniques to use for such a house project. About the presenter: Regis Will is a woodworker, craftsman, and owner of Vesta Home Services, a consulting ﬁrm on house restoration and Do-it-Yourself projects. He blogs about his work at The New Yinzer Workshop.

THIS WORKSHOP IS FREE TO PHLF MEMBERS. NON-MEMBERS: $10. RSVPS ARE APPRECIATED: MARYLU@PHLF.ORG OR 412-471-5808 EXT. 527 FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT WWW.PHLF.ORG 744 REBECCA AVENUE

WILKINSBURG, PA 15221

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.08/02.15.2017

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when PrEP was first introduced, it was specifically marketed as a way to make the sex-work industry safer. “The most important thing we tell sex workers is to get tested regularly. You should be wearing condoms and doing anything you can do to protect yourself,” Herring says. “On top of that, there are things you can do to prevent the transmission of HIV like PrEP.” In order to ensure that more people take advantage of its services, PATF works to spread the word that it is a welcoming, nonjudgmental space. And Herring says current and former clients are PATF’s best source of referrals. “If you’re here to help someone, you shouldn’t be judging them along the way,” Herring says. “Sometimes it is hard to get that word out. But that’s why when we work with people, we want them to be the ones to promote us. If they are comfortable with us, if they trust us, then their word counts more than any flier. If they have friends or colleagues who are engaging in the same activities, then we want them to feel comfortable going out and letting them know we can help.” Ensuring that people feel comfortable

with PATF is integral to the group’s success because it recommends that sex workers, or others engaging in frequent high-risk sexual activity, return to be tested on a regular basis. “If they’re not comfortable in the experience, if they don’t feel accepted, if they don’t feel like you’re taking them seriously and not judging them, they’re less likely to come in again, much less every three months,” Herring says. “More times than not, people come and they’re really apprehensive, but then they see how easy it is. I don’t think people don’t seek help because they don’t care about themselves. I think it’s more that stigma. Stigma is a very real thing and it has very real consequences.” Herring says he hopes cities like Pittsburgh can reduce the stigma associated with sex work in order to ensure a vulnerable segment of the population isn’t missing out on much-needed resources. “The most important thing we can do is to realize stigma is bad, and if you are the person making those judgments, you’re the one perpetuating those stigmas,” Herring says. “The best thing you can do is to be understanding and to be a helper.” RA D D I S ON @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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EVERYDAY MATH CMU professor applies math to real-life problems {BY RYAN DETO} CARNEGIE MELLON University math professor Po-Shen Lo wants everyone with internet access to think about math as much as they can. His new free website Expii crowdsources math problems and solutions from students, teachers and math enthusiasts from around the globe. Expii gives users the ability to explore math through real-world and pop-culture problems, like which artists will win the most music awards, how one makes a bigger Death Star, and how self-driving cars can improve travel times. Lo, who is also the coach of the USA International Math Olympiad Team, heads a small Expii team in a nondescript ofﬁce in Oakland. Users can visit www.expii.com.

WHY DID YOU START EXPII? I have been trying to popularize mathematics as not just a thing that you do in school, but something you do to really understand the world better, in a really practical way. We can use math to ﬁnd some surprising insights in the

{PHOTO COURTESY OF CARNEGIE MELLON SWARTZ CENTER FOR ENTREPRENEURSHIP

Po-Shen Lo

real world. … Every week, I sit down and meditate on some topic in the real world and try to see if there are any surprising math insights there — thinking about a

RREESSEEAARRCCHH SSTTUUDDYY

Borderline Pe r s o n a l i t y D i s o r d e r The University of Pittsburgh and UPMC are seeking men and women ages 18 to 45 to take part in a research study of borderline personality disorder. To participate, you must have symptoms of the disorder, which may include: troubled personal relationships, chronic feelings of emptiness or boredom, difﬁculty controlling anger or frustration, mood swings, self-destructive or impulsive behaviors, or history of self-inﬂicted pain or injury. Participants are interviewed about their moods, behaviors, and personality traits and will be compensated up to $125 upon completion of the interviews. Some participants may also undergo an fMRI scan. There is no cost for this procedure. Participants are compensated $50 upon completion of the fMRI. For more information, call 412-246-5367.

real thing as a mathematician, in contrast to just thinking about mathematical theory. Every week is different; this last week’s topic was about Star Wars. ... Another one was the American Music Awards. There was this question — who is winning these things? Actually, it turns out there is a really strong correlation between the winners and how many Instagram followers they have. Which is what you might expect, because it is fanvoting, but I myself was shocked at how huge that correlation was. I can almost predict who are going to be the top [winners]. This is what we do. When I was thinking about cars on the anniversary of the Model T Ford. I was thinking about the mathematics behind cars, transportation and so on, and noticed a few observations about self-driving vehicles and transit.

tunnel. … Following distance is generally two to three seconds; this is because of human-reaction time. You can’t just follow [so close] because you can’t hit the brakes fast enough. ... This means only one car every two seconds can pass in each lane, or one car per second for the tunnel. That means the numbers of cars that can pass through the Fort Pitt Tunnel, no matter how fast they are driving or slow they are driving, is 3,600 [per hour]. That is real life. If your capacity of the tunnel is only 3,600 per hour, now you know why there is rush hour. I know that highway engineers know this, but now I was finally thinking about it in the same way. Now, how does this factor into selfdriving cars? The two-second followingdistance reaction time is because of human-reaction time. As a human, I can only see the car in front of me; I don’t have this omniscient view of traffic five miles ahead. Now, imagine a huge network of self-driving cars; in fact, the value of the self-driving car is in this swarm-like network. Now suddenly, you don’t need that two-second following time. You can actually pack cars closer, and that is the only way to overcome this. If you allow a shorter following distance, we can break through this barrier of only 3,600 cars per hour. But the extreme case of this [already exists]; it’s the subway train. Take New York City, trains come every five minutes, with 10 cars, and each car can fit 150 people. That’s 1,500 people every five minutes, that’s 18,000 people an hour.

“THIS LAST WEEK’S TOPIC WAS ABOUT STAR WARS.”

WHAT KIND OF INSIGHTS DID YOU HAVE ABOUT SELF-DRIVING CARS? First, I want to say that I am not the first person to ever think of these things — I am just trying to popularize [ideas like these]. I have heard before that traffic is caused by people braking and accelerating, causing these waves of traffic. But there is another thing that fundamentally governs traffic. Take the Fort Pitt

WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO ACCOMPLISH WITH EXPII? We are trying to help everyone in the world learn mathematics, where all they need is a smartphone. We are trying to deliver mathematics learning to the whole world for free. There are two ways to do this. One is to evangelize why mathematics might be worth doing in the ﬁrst place. This is why I try to come up with these problems, so [users] too might want to come up with [mathematical] insights. The other part is to make it so you don’t have to pay. So [Expii] is an automatic virtual tutor, which lets you have a personalized road to learn mathematics. Ours is a learning platform where people have contributed towards the problems and mini-lessons, and so everyone shares in it together. RYA N D E TO@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.08/02.15.2017

NOT YOUR R ORDINARY BLACK B HISTORY MONTH

@ AWC

CINEMA FOR THE SOUL.

SHOWCASE

BLACK BOTTOM FILM FESTIVAL

NOIR

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 2017 AUGUST WILSON CENTER

FEBRUARY 24 - 26, 2017

FEBRUARY 24 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 26, 2017

AUGUST WILSON CENTER

New from Pittsburgh: Nonstop flights to Germany.

Starting June 23: Fly nonstop from Pittsburgh to Germany and beyond.

Born to fly. NEWS

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TRUE LOVE? {BY CHARLIE DEITCH} AS YOU BEGIN flipping through the next few pages, you’re bound to run into City Paper’s 2017 Love and Sex features. As we were putting the finishing touches on it, I realized that, much like the brain of a 16-year-old boy, it’s mostly filled with stuff about sex. Now don’t get me wrong — it’s filled with some pretty interesting stories about sex — but make no mistake, this issue is lacking on the love. Is it because the whole world is lacking in love right now? Maybe, but sometimes I think it’s because we misuse the word so often, it’s lost some meaning on what it truly means. Think about how many times in a day you use some variation of the phrase “I love [fill in the blank]!” For example: Do you really love that awesome parking spot you got this morning? Are you willing to park there exclusively? Will you be there when it needs to have its lines repainted? Will you be there to scrape unwanted snow and dog shit off it? The point is, the phrase has become a part of our daily lexicon. We throw it around like other misused words like “irregardless” and “literally.” When we say “love,” we should mean it. That got me thinking about all the times I had said it. I told a girl in kindergarten that I loved her because she said if I did, she would give me the three M&Ms that were melting in her book bag. I was a huge Dodger fan as a kid, and when I was 7 or 8, I once wrote a letter to third baseman Ron Cey to tell him how much I loved his mustache to sweet talk him into sending me an autographed picture. Not sure what he thought about it, but he did send the picture. I first said those words to someone I truly liked in January 1981 at the tender age of 9-and-a-half. This wasn’t a rushed decision like the M&Ms. I “met” this woman in 1979 when I stole a record album called Parallel Lines from my brother’s room. Initially, I thought the woman on the cover was called Blondie, because that’s what it said in big red letters. My brother had been playing this awesome song called “Sunday Girl,” and I wanted to hear it again and see what’s doing with the woman on the cover. I put the vinyl on — I shit you not — my Mickey

Mouse record player. I was enchanted, not just by the song, but by the woman. “Blondie” turned out to be lead singer Debbie Harry, the most beautiful person I’d ever seen: white dress, blonde hair and a “don’t fuck with me look” that I couldn’t stop staring at. Nobody in Wellsville, Ohio, looked like her. She was gorgeous, smart and a little intimidating. She wore dresses, she wore suits, her hair was wild and, man, was she talented. The next song on the record was “Heart of Glass.” Her voice breathlessly sighed out of Mickey’s ears. I wasn’t sure what was going on but I was definitely in … something. I was hooked. A few months later, Blondie made me another record, Eat to the Beat. I imagine it was a great album, but I never got past the first cut, “Dreaming.” I was 8 years old and daydreamed a lot. This was the first time, though, I wasn’t dreaming about professional wrestling or Star Wars. After that, I was more than smitten. I was buying music magazines, cutting out pictures and making collages. Fall 1980 saw the release of Autoamerican. I didn’t know what the fuck that meant, but Debbie wore a black dress on a rooftop, while the other band members stood a distance away. (I assumed this was out of respect for our love.) Then in January 1981, I was watching one of my favorite new shows, Solid Gold. Debbie Harry appeared without the band and sang a song that I knew she had written for me, “The Tide Is High.” (It turns out the song was actually written by a Jamaican band in 1966.) I was so infatuated that I went upstairs and stared at that record before leaning in and kissing her and whispering, “I love you.” Retelling this story makes me sure of two things: First, there’s a good chance Debbie Harry will file a restraining order against me. And second, and most importantly, it was love. Granted, having a meaningful relationship with an album is the kind of love that only a 9-year-old can get away with. Later in life, I always dismissed it as childhood nonsense (and granted, it was), but thinking back, I’m pretty sure my love was genuine and I’m pretty happy about that.

DEBBIE HARRY WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON I’D EVER SEEN.

C D E I T C H @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.08/02.15.2017

Now Hiring - Giant Eagle, Market District & GetGo Pittsburgh City and North locations

Join us for our Hiring Events hosted in collaboration with Youth Places! WHEN:

Tuesday, February 14 from 10:00am - 5:00pm Wednesday, February 15 from 12:00pm – 7:00pm

WHERE:

YOUTH PLACES MAIN CAMPUS 711 West Commons, Pittsburgh, PA 15212 (located in Pittsburgh’s North Side between the National Aviary and Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh)

Recruiters will be conducting on-the-spot interviews for the following Pittsburgh area locations: · · · ·

Shakespeare Street Giant Eagle Southside Giant Eagle Shadyside Market District Waterworks Market District

· · · ·

Baum Boulevard GetGo Waterworks GetGo Lawrenceville GetGo Camp Horne Giant Eagle

We are hiring for a variety of positions and departments, including: Cashiers, Pharmacy Techs, Grocery & Produce Clerks, Guest Services, Meat & Seafood Specialists, Fuel Station Attendants/GoGetters, Prepared & Gourmet Food Clerks, Cake Decorators, Bakers and more!

GIANT EAGLE REWARDS We seek Team Members who are honest, genuine, passionate, engaging and personal. More than anything, they need to understand the importance of excellent customer service. In turn, we offer our Team Members extensive benefits, including: · · · ·

Team atmosphere Team Member incentives Development programs Competitive wages

· A safe and respectful workplace · Medical, dental, vision and other benefits

If you love food, are passionate about delivering unparalleled guest service and have an active interest in our community, consider joining our growing team!

Apply online at: www.GiantEagle.com/PittsburghJobs NEWS

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News of the Weird

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{BY CHUCK SHEPHERD}

“Field work is always challenging,” explained Courtney Marneweck of South Africa’s University of KwaZulu-Natal in a recent journal article. But studying the sociology of a white rhino’s dung meant developing a “pattern-recognition algorithm” to figure out “smell profiles” of 150 animals’ feces — after tracking them individually to observe them in the act. Wrote Marneweck, “I think my record for waiting for a rhino to poo was 7½ hours.” Conclusion: Rhinos use feces to send distinct social signals on genetically compatible herds, mating access and predator dangers. (Or, in the Los Angeles Times “clickbait” version of the story, rhino dung “has a lot in common with a Facebook post.”)

Wrist-Slapping: (1) Rutgers University Athletic Director Pat Hobbs, responding to the NCAA’s announcement of violations against the school’s sports programs (including failure to penalize 16 football players who tested positive for drugs), told the Asbury Park Press in January that he would immediately dismiss from teams any player testing positive for hard drugs — upon the fourth violation (if for marijuana only, upon the fifth). (2) In January, the Russian parliament voted 380 to 3 to amend its assault law to allow a spouse one punishment-by“ticketing” (i.e., not criminal) for domestic violence against his partner — provided the bodily harm was not “substantial” and that it happens no more than once a year.

Gary Gibson, 65, of Chiloquin, Ore., admits he is sexually attracted to little girls but never acts on his urges, and therefore, demands that people get off his case. He formed the Association for Sexual Abuse Prevention, campaigning, he says, to keep children safe from other pedophiles whose self-restraint may not match his. Gibson describes himself as a “normal, everyday person,” married to a British nurse (whom he met via a Christian singles organization), and has three children and 10 grandchildren — none so far molested (though in an interview, London’s The Sun allowed him to explain his side of various edgy events of his life, such as his having moved for a while to the South Pacific, where little girls sometimes played naked).

Wait, What? (1) Surgery on a 16-yearold Japanese girl, reported in January by New Scientist, revealed that her ovary contained a miniature skull and brain. Doctors say that finding rogue brain cells in ovaries is not that uncommon, but that an already organized brain, capable of transmitting electric impulses, is almost unheard-of. (2) The neonatal intensivecare unit of Texas Health Fort Worth disclosed in January that the secret to keeping the most fragile prematurely born babies alive is to quickly stick them into Ziploc freezer bags to create, according to a clinician, a “hot-house effect.” (It turns out that merely raising the temperature in the delivery room had only marginal effect.)

+ 16

Doughnut lovers have legitimately mused for years how U.S. law could condemn,

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.08/02.15.2017

say, marijuana, yet permit Krispy Kreme to openly sell its seemingly addictive sugary delights on America’s streets. Sonia Garcia, 51, realized a while back that residents of Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, so much needed Krispy Kreme fixes that she earns a handsome living running a black market from El Paso, Texas, bringing in 40 boxes at a time and re-selling from the trunk of her car at a 60 percent markup. She pointed out to a Los Angeles Times reporter in January that her trafficking has already put one son through engineering school. (Mexico City now has Krispy Kremes, but apparently the company’s distribution system cannot yet vanquish Sonia Garcia’s car.)

Reporting from Mbyo, Rwanda, in January on the success of a “reconciliation” program following the country’s bloody genocidal wars, London’s The Guardian found, for example, Laurencia Niyogira living peacefully and forgivingly alongside neighbor Tasian Nkundiye — even though, 22 years ago, Nkundiye murdered Niyogira’s entire family (except for her

and her siblings, left barely alive). (Over a 100day span in 1994, 800,000 ethnic Tutsis were systematically slaughtered by Hutus.) A survey by the country’s national unity commission showed that 92 percent of Rwandans have come to accept reconciliation.

Trader Joe’s has gained popularity among grocery shoppers in large part by having relentlessly sunny employees, but now that the firm has expanded from mellower California to more brusque New York City, it is learning that cheerfulness is harder to find. The company fired Thomas Nagle recently because, though he said he frequently smiled, he was told his smile was insufficiently “genuine,” and, backed by several colleagues, he has filed an unfair-labor-practice charge (and union organizers have taken notice). The National Labor Relations Board has already ruled (against another employer) that workers cannot be forced to convey that all-important “positive work environment” because they are entitled to have grievances.

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Open Questions

Sex research can yield unexpected answers {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

HEN THE SEX isn’t what you

expect, it’s sometimes a nice surprise. But surprises might be less welcome when research about sex climaxes differently than you imagined. In 2015, researchers at Carnegie Mellon University published what they called the ﬁrst study to examine whether having more sex made people happier. Sixty-four healthy married male-female couples, all spouses ages 35 to 65, were assigned to one of two groups: One set received no instructions on sexual frequency, while the second group was asked to double their weekly incidence.

CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY SEX STUDY SEEKS PARTICIPANTS

Participate in a survey on sex (or lack thereof) in long-term relationships conducted by CMU researcher George Loewenstein. Participants must be 18 or older. Here’s a shortened link to the survey: http://bit.ly/2kxazNo

Lead researcher George Loewenstein’s hypothesis, he says, was that “people don’t naturally have as much sex as is good for them,” so they’d appreciate the nudge, as it were. But surveys ﬁlled out by the couples before, during and after the study, along with daily online questionnaires, didn’t back him up: While couples told to boink more did so, they actually reported a small decrease in happiness, along with less sexual desire and less sexual enjoyment. Loewenstein was similarly disappointed with the outcomes of a study that he’s still writing up. This one looked at the re-

lationship between sexual excitement and — wait for it — disgust. His idea was that many common sexual practices, even one so celebrated in song and story as kissing, are “inherently disgusting,” he says. And he means that clinically: Disgust research (which is a thing) finds that humans consistently identify bodily secretions as the “the height of disgust.” Loewenstein wondered whether eagerness to engage in icky behavior with someone is actually a measure of how attractive you find that person: a mutual signal that “this is gross, but you’re so hot I don’t care.” This study didn’t involve actual sex. Instead, more than 400 participants were given a list of 20 sexual practices that started with the nondisgusting — like hugging — and proceeded to moister behaviors like kissing and French kissing, then dutifully onward to swallowing semen, rimming and golden showers. Participants were asked to imagine being with a partner they were very sexually excited by, one whom they were not so excited by but would or did have sex with, and one whom they would not want to have sex with. Then they were asked how exciting or disgusting they would find it to do each of the 20 behaviors with each sort of person. Loewenstein predicted that the behaviors that participants would find most exciting to do with someone they were very excited by would be judged most disgusting if done with someone they were less excited by, or whom they wouldn’t want to have sex with. But it didn’t work out that way. While the surveys revealed that “[e]verything is less disgusting when you are with someone CONTINUES ON PG. 20

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you are more excited by … the hierarchy of disgustingness is the same,” he says. In other words, behavior involving more bodily ﬂuids — even stuff like licking a partner’s sweat — was seen by most people as disgusting, regardless of the company. Research involving other kinds of bodily ﬂuids and sex has also turned out differently than many people think. You’ve probably heard of pheromones — chemicals that, when smelled, cause a reaction in creatures of the same species. And cued by reports of research into insects and other animals — or maybe just by perfume ads, sitcom punchlines or daydreaming — you might believe that humans, too, emit compounds that can prove irresistible to whichever people one might wish to prove irresistible to. And after all, one study found that the smell of men’s underarm secretions altered the timing and length of women’s menstrual cycles, as well as increasing the women’s relaxation and reducing tension. Conversely, another study found that the smell of women’s tears reduced men’s sexual arousal and testosterone levels. So, we’re all just puppets of chemistry, right? Eh, probably not. It’s true that certain chemicals in our bodies can affect the physiology of other humans (what scientists call

{GRAPHIC BY CASSANDRA TAYLOR}

a “primer” effect) or their moods (“modulator” pheromones). But so far, no one’s found the human equivalent of the pheromones that cause an immediate need to couple as emitted by, for instance, female silkworm moths or male wild boars. In fact, “no scientiﬁcally rigorous study using human secretions has led to the isolation and chemical identiﬁcation of a true human pheromone,” according to organic chemist George Preti. Preti, of the Monell Chemical Senses Center, in Philadelphia, is no less than a coauthor of the aforementioned underarm

study. He’s also a go-to media debunker of the human-pheromone myth. Preti acknowledges that human pheromones might exist. But, he says, we’ve not yet found them, and even if we did, there’s no evidence that they’d produce the same “involuntary attractant response” as insect or animal pheromones do. Which brings us back to the visual inputs and other social cues that researchers like Preti say greatly override any chemical signals we’re getting about who’s desirable. For instance, Loewenstein’s dis-

gust study, he says, revealed “the overall prudishness of the subjects” — though he admits the results might have been affected by the fact that all the participants were CMU alums. “They probably tend to be pretty nerdy,” he says. With the study on frequency of sex and happiness, researchers guessed that what got participants down wasn’t having all that sex per se, but being required to have it. The key, Loewenstein says, might be having sex that’s enjoyable. One unpublished study he co-ran, he says, found that “people did enjoy sex more … if they reported that they were learning new things about their partner and they were trying new things.” Loewenstein, by the way, isn’t a sex researcher by trade; he’s an economist (married since 1985) who mostly studies decision-making with implications for public policy and neuroscience, and whose papers have titles like “Neural Predictors of Purchases.” But every so often, he does a sex-themed experiment because “it’s such an important aspect of life and it seems so understudied to me. There’s so many fascinating unanswered questions.” His latest question is, “What keeps excitement alive in long-term relationships?” To participate, see the sidebar to this article for a link. D RI S C OL L @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

Join us Feb. 17 for our NO-KIDS night!

sex, love, & science

Explore the science behind sex and reproduction. Ask experts questions, experiment with latex, and learn about the biology of disease transmission. Plus live music, time in the exhibits, cash bars, and NO KIDS! Details & tickets: CarnegieScienceCenter.org

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.08/02.15.2017

{PHOTO COURTESY OF RANDALL ROBERTS}

Aiden Sin Flame: “It’s a lot of fun, honestly.”

Day-to-Day Domming {BY CELINE ROBERTS}

IDEN SIN FLAME didn’t set out

to be a career dominatrix six years ago; it actually happened

by chance. “Initially, I was on a fetish site that was similar to FetLife [a social-networking site for those into fetishes],” Flame says. “I saw girls, their proﬁle was basically an ad where they were charging for [camera] time as a domme. I just kinda kept thinking, ‘I could do that,’ and it just kinda went from there.” That was in 2010, and now the 24-year-old has moved beyond camera work to real-time sessions with a developed client base. While maintaining her domme business, she also works as a hair stylist. Dommes, or dominas, as she prefers to call herself, are professionals who are paid to create power-exchange scenarios for their clients. Some of the activities listed on Flame’s application for potential

clients, or “slaves,” are public humiliation, needle play, orgasm denial and couples sessions. Sessions are negotiated on a client-by-client basis. “Foot fetish is definitely the most vanilla fetish, but it’s the most requested,” she says. While it is considered sex work, Flame’s profession isn’t prostitution and isn’t subject to the same laws. She works from her apartment, where her living room serves as her dungeon. Her typical equipment includes whips, riding crops, a spanking bench, wooden shackles and ﬂoggers (a short-handled, multi-lashed whip). “The rest of my stuff I have in storage until I can get a bigger place,” Flame says, smiling. She receives a lot of her equipment and clothes as gifts from clients as a form of tribute or as thanks for a session. Financial domination of different degrees is common for slaves, who enjoy buying

“IT’S FUCKING GREAT TO HAVE SOMEONE PAY YOU TO SMELL YOUR DIRTY SHOES.”

presents or handing over bank-account information as an act of submission. In order to schedule a session, Flame requires potential slaves to ﬁll out an application. If she accepts it, an in-person meeting is set up before a session is scheduled. She also requires an upfront deposit for initial meetings to protect her from clients with last-minute cold feet. Safety, in all aspects of the exchange, is highly important to her. “I get asked a lot how to do this safely. It really comes down to common sense. If something seems shady, just don’t do it,” she says. Flame checks up on her clients’ information before meeting with them, and during sessions, cleanliness, sanitization, routine check-ins with the client and using a safe word are musts. “You can’t just wing this,” she says emphatically. “Especially with BDSM. If you don’t know about something, don’t do it.” Most of her clientele are middle-aged white men. Flame says minority and female clients are rare. “Women can get it for free. The women who I have had, they wanted more of a professional experience,” she says. Maintaining a client base takes a tremendous amount of work, which Flame does with a robust social-media presence. “People tend to come and go,” she says. Most of Flame’s relationships with her slaves are friendly. “I do develop some sort of caring or bond,” she says. However, maintaining the power dynamic is such an integral part of the work and fantasybuilding that she has to be careful to maintain her emotional distance. “I had a really loyal slave, who I saw on a weekly basis. We became too close in a friendship, and it kind of ruined everything,” she sighs. Make no mistake — domming isn’t all strutting around in high heels and humiliating clients for top dollar. It takes a tremendous amount of time, work, learning from mistakes, and energy to have a successful career. “I spent a really long time before I ever did real-time [sessions], working online and researching things. I wasted a lot of time, I got ripped off a lot, I got lied to a lot,” she says. “I went through a lot of crap to get to the point of knowing what I know now.” Flame herself worked with another domme when she first started doing real-time sessions with clients. The arrangement allowed her to both feel safe and learn. “It’s a lot of fun, honestly,” she says, “If it’s not fun, you really shouldn’t be doing it. It’s fucking great to have someone pay you to smell your dirty shoes.”

{CP PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY KATEY LADIKA}

Public sex is illegal, but whatever {BY ALEX GORDON}

eople love to have sex in cars. I was researching good places to have sex in public for this issue, and all anybody could talk about was car sex. That’s probably because Americans love sex and Americans love cars, so the math is pretty easy on that one. Secondly, because public sex is technically illegal, committing the crime in the getaway vehicle is just common sense. Generally speaking, the illegality can be chalked up to public nudity, since sex often involves exposed vaginas, penises, butts, and the lewdest and most indecent of body parts: the female nipple. While I wouldn’t advise breaking the law, I do think there are healthy, harmless approaches to public sex that folks should be aware of. Here’s what I got.

CAR SEX IS OLD HAT. Since it’s only a couple of minutes per ride, the Incline is good for couples who prefer their sex short and sweet, rather than long and savory. If you get the car to yourself, you’ll be all set — though a courtesy break as you pass the other car is always a good look. I was also going to suggest Kennywood, but I have to imagine that after 118 summers in business, the place is essentially built on a bedrock of used condoms. Let’s move on. For some, public sex is about the adrenaline rush from the risk of getting caught. But for others, it’s just because they can’t wait until they get home. For this, I was thinking we could start carrying tents, sleeping bags and white-noise machines at all times, in case we get the urge while out and about. Lastly, while tandem kayaks aren’t the most comfortable venue for love-making or “fucking,” if you’re an experienced couple, this could kind of be like your boss-level challenge. Life vests are mandatory. Don’t get caught. ALEXGORDON@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

C E L INE @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

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Toy Story

CP tries out a few sex toys so you don’t have to {BY ALEX GORDON}

4 NIGHTS

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NCIENT DILDOS keep turning up. It’s evidence of how surprisingly modern our forbears’ sex lives were. Even thousands of years ago, our ancestors were making dildos, pornographic sculptures and cock rings — though “dildo” is a bit of a misnomer; “penis-shaped rock” might be more ﬁtting. Today, the sex-toy industry is robust and rapidly expanding. In 2016, Forbes reported that what had once been a niche market has grown into a $15 billion industry. Far from the days of penis-shaped rocks, now we have products like the Portable Glory Hole and the three-breasted Area 51 Love Doll. Fantastic. So for our Love and Sex Issue, several staff members reviewed sex toys to help our readers parse all the noise and vibration. Also, my colleagues are not as adventurous as me and have removed their names from their reviews.

Here’s what we found.

Remote Control Rechargeable Bullet, Sensuelle Inspire: Remote Vibrating Breast Massager, California Exotic Novelties I was flummoxed by this toy at first blush. I wasn’t sure what the benefit would be, and with a $138 price tag, results are desirable. The massager has 10 functions that vary the pulsation and vibration pattern. Each has five speed settings. The remote looks like a makeup compact and toggles through the settings. There aren’t straps, so it lays across the chest. For fuller breasts, it may just barely cover the nipples while laying down, so it might have better contact if tucked into a bra. The design and materials were sleek, making it easy to clean. Used on its own, it was a pleasant if hardly electrifying sensation, but could be a good candidate for pairing with other toys.

This toy is definitely for more adventurous users. While the vibrating bullet can be fun in the comfort of your own bed, this device is best enjoyed away from home, say at a boring charity dinner or your niece’s five-hour dance recital. The wireless and discreet remote lets you or your partner turn on and turn up the bullet at will. Simply slip it in, or into your panties, before a night out, and you’re in for a real treat. It can also be used by men when placed in tight-fitting underwear, or ya know, anywhere else it will fit. While the model CP tried was purple, it also comes in pink or black. Have fun testing out each of the 10 different settings. The remote has been tested to work up to 65 feet away. And since the product is rechargeable, you never have to worry about batteries. BY FEMALE REVIEWER 2

BY FEMALE REVIEWER 1

ElectroErotic Neon Wand, Kinklabs

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Scandal: Over the Bed Cross, California Exotic Novelties

Her G-Spot Kit, California Exotic Novelties

This sex toy consists of a network of straps and buckles to restrain your partner in bed, spread-eagle — like George Costanza in the hotel room or that skinny guy in the film Seven (probably bad examples). It’s ideal for role-play (says the box), so we opted for the roles of “writer and girlfriend trying out sex toy for a review in City Paper.” Not super creative, but whatever. At first, it seemed sort of unnecessary. Wouldn’t ropes serve just as well? But I guess a built-for-sex product is a lot more arousing than MacGyvering one yourself. If this sounds like your piece of pie, I’d recommend prepping first. Trying to assemble the straps and buckles during the act has a sort of building-an-IKEA-dresser-during-sex vibe, which is decidedly not sexy. If you’re more experienced, this might be a solid product to add to your repertoire.

At $35, this toy kit packs a lot of literal bang for your buck. It comes with not just one, but two vibrators: a sleek, slightly curved version optimal for G-spot stimulation and a phallic-shaped model complete with heart imprints I can only imagine are meant to simulate the penis’ natural ridges. But the second model also comes with what CalExotics calls the “world famous Butterfly Kiss,” which is literally a butterfly-shaped mold attached to the shaft that stimulates the clitoris. And on top of all of this, there are three different finger teasers just to make sure you have no problem reaching the big O. In truth, the kit is highly effective, but there’s no escaping the fact you’re basically doing it with a robot. And now that the robots have mastered the ever-elusive G-spot, there’s no telling when they’ll decide to use that power to enslave us all.

I once went to a physical therapist who had an item called a TENS unit. The unit sent electric impulses into four pads that were directly over my injury. I remember thinking during one of those sessions, “I wonder what that would feel like if somebody slapped it on your balls?” Thanks to the $155 Neon Wand, I don’t have to wonder anymore. The item is great for those looking for an introduction to erotic electrostimulation or BDSM scenarios that call for some light-to-moderate electrocution of your tender vittles. The wand’s large handle comes with ample cord to allow you to plug into a wall socket and still maneuver around. This unit comes with four glass implements that send the purple-colored electric current through the glass and onto your desired area. (And this is safe to use on any desired area, even the most sensitive of both sexes.) The feeling is like several hot needles massaging your skin. It’s not exactly painful, but it’s also not your run-of-the-mill erotic sensation. If getting shocked is your thing, this item is definitely for you. Also, it goes without saying, don’t shock your balls in the shower.

BY FEMALE REVIEWER 2

BY MALE REVIEWER 1

BY ALEX GORDON

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.08/02.15.2017

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Love Stories

Free range time or gun rental your choice expires 3/31/2017

{BY RYAN DETO}

EX IS AWKWARD, but great. Love

is great, but also can be awkward and uncomfortable at times. So if both are great, which is better? What better way to find out than to ask some Pittsburghers which was better — your first time or your first time with your first love?

Day Bracey is co-host of Drinking Partners, a popular craft-beer-themed podcast. Bracey and co-host Ed Bailey hold lively discussions with local politicians, entrepreneurs and entertainers. Catch the podcast on epicastnetwork.com. FIRST TIME: Freshman semester in college. I had only experienced mouth cuddles in high school. My girlfriend at the time made me wait a couple of weeks. She didn’t believe I was a virgin. Why would anyone make that up? She had one of the few single bedrooms on the whole campus, so no worries about roommates walking in. I was excited and couldn’t believe my boys were about to get their first hip hugs! She hopped on, and 60 seconds later looked down in confused disgust and asked, “Is that it?” I was in a euphoric daze that would later slip into a nap. The relationship didn’t last very long after that. FIRST LOVE: I met my first love at a college event where I was working security. She chatted me up because she was digging my

3 or more people in a class for $60 each ($20 SAVINGS)

Jackson 5 ‘fro and yellow security shirt combo. Afterwards, she drove me home, and I asked if she wanted to stay. Twelve hours later, I was in love.

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WHICH WAS BETTER? The second experience was better because she was patient, more experienced. Since then, I’ve always preferred dating older women. In my experience, older women tend to know what they want and aren’t as shy giving direction to a younger man. I never understood guys who only date younger women. Must be an ego thing, [but they’re] never really testing their boundaries. Love doesn’t make sex better, communication does. A lot of people fail to listen to their partners. I communicate for a living, so I’ve honed my ability to read and react. Women are like sexual pirates on the high seas of orgasms. Let them plot the course, and you’ll always find the booty.

Gab Bonesso is a local comedian known for taking on controversial topics. But she also has a day job as a children’s performer, spreading an anti-bullying message to elementary kids, so Bonesso decided to tell a PG-rated story. She’ll be performing a free Valentine’s Day show at 8 p.m. at Brillobox in Bloomfield. Maybe she’ll tell the raunchier version there. FIRST TIME: My first kiss was pretty passionate. I was 6 years old, and I planted one on Sam Zekler in CONTINUES ON PG. 24

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LOVE STORIES, CONTINUED FROM PG. 23

the cubby-hole section of our homeroom. He told on me, and I was scolded not to kiss boys in school. I was reprimanded for this same action nine more times. Always kissing Sam. Oops.

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FIRST LOVE: My first real kiss with a boy that I thought I was in love with came later. I was a senior in high school, and I finally met a boy I found both hysterical and adorable. His name was Brad. Neither of us had really dated anyone [seriously], and we were both super nervous about our first kiss. We decided that we’d go to the movies, get pie at Eat’n Park and then go to the Sears parking lot in Robinson. We both applied Chapstick and began chewing spearmint gum. Dave Matthews was on the radio, and suddenly Brad’s head came crashing into mine. I remember our teeth banging and my head hitting the car window. Suddenly, a cop car pulled up beside us. Brad and I were convinced we were going to be accused of trying to have sex when we couldn’t even pull off a proper kiss. I made up a lie [to the cop] that we were [siblings] trying to find a last-minute gift for our parents. The cop bought it. We waited for the cop to leave, continued practicing kissing, and then I drove Brad home in a snow storm. WHICH WAS BETTER? Honestly, I was probably more proud of my work in the cubby-hole section.

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Adam Shuck

Do You Shop at Convenience Stores? Have you ever purchased energy drinks, cookies, or cigarettes from a convenience store? If so you may be eligible for a research study. The RAND Corporation, in Pittsburgh, is conducting a research study to learn about what ADULTS, ages 18-65, buy at convenience stores. Participation requires completion of a 10 minute phone or internet survey, one 90 minute visit to the RAND study center, and a short follow-up phone call. People who complete the study will be compensated for their time and effort with $75 in gift cards. Parking or bus passes will be provided. If you are interested and want to learn more about the study, please call 412-204-7353, e-mail adult-cstore-study@rand.org or visit us at www.rand.org/storestudy. The RAND Corporation is a nonprofit institution that helps improve policy and decision making through research and analysis.

is editor of The Glassblock, an online magazine, and creator of the popular lunchtime e-newsletter Eat That, Read This, which compiles news about Pittsburgh. Shuck’s story isn’t in the same format since it’s more complicated: He’s a gay man, who dated and loved a woman before fully coming to terms with his sexuality. FIRST TIMES: It’d never occurred to me that I might not be straight and, would have to tell everyone around me, until the age of 17. I broke the news first to myself, and then to my girlfriend. We met at 12. I was gawky and out of place, while she was cute and savvy. We were together for most of our teenage years. She was my first love, my first sex partner, and eventually, the person it was most difficult to tell that I might be gay. She was shocked, but she understood — and we remained friends. That summer, just after graduation, I hooked up with a guy for the first time. I can’t remember if I picked him up in my extremely uncool Buick Skylark, or if he had driven himself to meet me in some predetermined, out-of-the-way spot; our cars parked side by side. The two of us in the backseat of mine, getting into each other’s

pants. A few months later, I moved away from my rural town and was suddenly an 18-year-old gay man in Manhattan’s West Village. One or two months later, I lost another virginity in my first boyfriend’s dorm room. I’ve loved and had sex with men ever since — today, I’m even married to one. Whether we’d hook up once and never see each other again, or date, or stay in bed in his tiny apartment every night eating dumplings and watching movies — each relationship was its own first, its own discovery, its own particular combination of sex and love, those discrete instincts that can sometimes coincide, and thrill when they do.

Joy KMT is a racial-equality advocate who also co-founded Roots Pride, the alternative LGBT-Pride festival that sprang up in 2015. KMT is working on a full-length book of poetry and a visual-art exhibit at the Community Futures Lab, in Philadelphia. FIRST TIME: I’m about to tell you things that I only tell my closest friends. Consequently, you have all become my closest friends. I was 14, [and] he was probably 20. My mom worked nights, and boys were constantly trying to come over, invited or uninvited. His name was Rob. I probably knew him for two days. I fucked him on my living-room floor; it lasted maybe 10 minutes. He offered me $30 after we were done. My feelings were pretty much “meh.” I didn’t really have too many thoughts or feelings beyond that. FIRST LOVE: I never had much physical intimacy with my first love. We were just friends with a bit of fondling at the bus stop after school sometimes. He had a girlfriend who for obvious reasons didn’t like me very much. I had a necklace that smelled like his cologne, and I used to wear it all the time, especially after he went [into juvenile probation], and I didn’t get to see him at school anymore. We danced together once at the Top of the Game, in East Liberty, to Akinyele’s “Put It In Your Mouth” — that song is mad romantic in my mind still. He was shot in the head when I was 19 and pregnant with my first child, obviously not his. I used to think I saw him all the time after he died.

“I’M ABOUT TO TELL YOU THINGS THAT I ONLY TELL MY CLOSEST FRIENDS.”

WHICH WAS BETTER? The intimacy of sitting at a bus stop waiting on the 81B and missing it on purpose, while snowflakes fell around us, being warmed by a beautiful boy who made me feel safe in my skin, felt much better to me than something that I can only be thankful happened before the advent of social media. RYANDETO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.08/02.15.2017

when she was invited by a friend to a party soon after Fuchs’ divorce. What she didn’t know was that it was a sex-toy party. But while she was initially annoyed at the surprise, she walked away from the party with a Jack Rabbit Vibrator, a toy popularized by the HBO series Sex and the City. “That was the ﬁrst time I hit my G-spot privately,” Fuchs says. After that, Fuchs got into the sex-toyparty business herself and now owns two stores in Southwestern Pennsylvania and another in Ohio. Her boutiques specialize in pleasure toys, costumes, games, lubricants and lotions, fetish items, books and DVDs, lingerie and shoes. But her path hasn’t always been smooth. Years ago, when she ﬁrst attempted to open a store in Robinson, she was met with public opposition and an eight-month court battle. “I still have problems today because people have preconceived notions about what you are, and it’s really sad,” she says. “Even though things have gotten more open, [and] people are more accepting, I still see a lot of old attitudes, because people are still nervous about sex.” In order to combat the negative impression many still have of the adult industry, Fuchs works to show how the things she sells can positively impact a person’s mental health and help strengthen relationships. “Sex isn’t dirty, it’s healthy. If everyone had a healthy sex life, maybe we wouldn’t have the issues we have,” Fuchs says. “It helps partners. It helps couples. It’s amazing what it can do to take you to another level. Maybe that person’s bored and maybe you’re bored, but you don’t want to say so.” But despite her openness, even Fuchs has her limits. She gets numerous requests every year to carry different products for her customers, but there’s one thing she isn’t willing to carry: adult diapers. “I do not judge anyone,” she says. “But go to Giant Eagle.”

{CP PHOTO BY JOHN COLOMBO}

Vanessa Fuchs, of Sassy Sensations

Sensationally Sassy {BY REBECCA ADDISON}

fter two decades in the sextoy industry, there’s one story that still stands out in Sassy Sensations owner Vanessa Fuchs’ mind. Fifteen years ago, a visibly uncomfortable woman came into one of her stores looking for help. But she wasn’t there for herself; she was looking for a sex toy for her daughter that would allow her to experiment with her sexuality in a safe way. “To tell you the truth, I had tears in my eyes. The other customers who were walking around and overheard, had tears

in their eyes,” says Fuchs. “I said, ‘You’re amazing. I admire that you don’t feel comfortable in a store like this and yet you came for the beneﬁt of your daughter.’” Sassy Sensations (www.sassysensations.com) provided City Paper with the sex toys for our reviews on page 22.

That’s just one of the many examples of how Fuchs has helped improve thousands of people’s sexual health through her Sassy Sensations stores. She knows

which devices are good for transitioning transgender women, and she’s helped people with multiple sclerosis ﬁgure out creative ways to stay sexually active while managing their symptoms. “Those stories mean more to me than anything,” says Fuchs. “To have somebody so nervous coming in that door that you can see they’re white-knuckled, and then they leave with a pink Sassy bag, giggling, happy and empowered, that’s why I do this.” Now a veteran in the adult industry, Fuchs ﬁrst got involved selling sex toys

RA D D I S ON @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

NEWS

M A I N F E AT U R E

MUSIC

ARTS

EVENTS

TA S T E

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CLASSIFIEDS

LOCAL

A MAJORITY OF THE PROCEEDS WILL BENEFIT PLANNED PARENTHOOD

BEAT

{BY ALEX GORDON}

Crawling for Culture, the new monthly performance series at Zenith, started as an idea for a music video. The event’s curators, Garret Shafer and Supplant, of the hip-hop jazz fusion group The Uptown Woods, thought the South Side vegan spot would make a good video set. It’s outfitted with antiques, old photos and vintage furniture, the sort of rich visuals that would make for a cool, funky video. It’s also a go-to breakfast joint for the duo, and after a recent discussion with the owners, they opted to do a long-term performance series rather than a video. The series debuts on Feb. 23, offering a variety of musical performances, spoken word and visual art. Joining The Uptown Woods is minimalist folk artist Angela Autumn, throwback classic-rockers Millgroves Crossing, and the experimental indie-rock band Different Places in SPACE. There will also be performances from spokenword artists Andrew Aluise, Emma Vescio, Brittney Chantele and Tribe Eternal. Supplant and Shafer, both juniors at Duquesne University, founded The Uptown Woods in 2015. They developed their chemistry over a series of jam sessions, with Shafer on keys and Supplant as MC and saxophonist. Jazz and hip hop are common musical sparring partners, but with The Uptown Woods, the split is pretty much 50-50. Shafer’s compositions and Supplant’s lyrics stand with equal confidence, and it’s fun watching the two go toe to toe. Though only one date is set so far, Shafer and Supplant are intent on growing the event each month, and making sure it remains diverse and open. “We want there to be a special feeling of family and community,” says Supplant. “We feel as if the Pittsburgh music scene in general could use a little more strength. [And there should be] a place where everyone can get together for free, appreciate art [and] listen to music. [It would] also give a platform for new artists who would like to collaborate and be part of the event in the future.” ALEXGORDON@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

CRAWLING FOR CULTURE with ANGELA AUTUMN, MILLGROVES CROSSING, DIFFERENT PLACES IN SPACE and THE UPTOWN WOODS. 86 S. 26th St., South Side. Free. 412-481-4833 or www.zenithpgh.com

The Uptown Woods {PHOTO COURTESY OF PAMELA RUSSELL, PJR PHOTOGRAPHY AND STUDIO}

CRAWLING AROUND

{CP PHOTOS BY KATEY LADIKA}

Connor Murray, in his University of Pittsburgh dorm room, where he does work for his label Crafted Sounds

POWER TAPE {BY ALEX GORDON}

N THE WEEKS following the inauguration of President Donald Trump, many of Pittsburgh’s cultural and charitable institutions fought to raise money to combat the president’s expected wave of new policies. Shows donated proceeds to causes affected by the new administration; musicians gave their time and music to rallies and protests. On Feb. 3, the online music hub Bandcamp donated all proceeds from the day’s sales to the American Civil Liberties Union, prompting many local artists to upload previously released albums to the site. When the new administration arrived, many of Pittsburgh’s institutions knew how they’d respond. But what about newcomers? How do the city’s younger, more recent transplants get their feet in the door?

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.08/02.15.2017

According to Connor Murray, you just need to listen to those who have been doing it longer and write polite emails. Murray is a freshman at the University of Pittsburgh, as well as the founder of a boutique tape label called Crafted Sounds. You can check out some of the bands from Have a Nice Day at Dogfunk (house show) on March 2, with Jack Stauber, Pinstripe Sunny, Side Ape and Surf Bored. More info at www.craftedsounds. bandcamp.com

He’s released four tapes so far, with a ﬁfth, Have A Nice Day: A Pittsburgh Collection, due out on Feb. 28. All digital sales and half of the physical sales will be donated to Planned Parenthood.

“This was something where I could highlight what’s going on in Pittsburgh and help out the people in Pittsburgh,” says Murray, an 18-year-old Maryland native studying economics and marketing at Pitt. His foray into the music business is purely recreational. Have a Nice Day features 16 tracks from mostly local artists, including Surf Bored (who previously released a tape through Crafted Sounds and also attends Pitt), Rue, String Machine, AllegrA, Spaceﬁsh, Brianna Snider and IT IT. While the songs aren’t especially political — unless you count a title like wwoman’s “Eating Ass” as a metaphor for 2017 — there is sort of a zeitgeist vibe to it, considering it was curated by a freshman college student during a particularly abnormal election year. Style-wise, the songs are united by an

diesel C LU B | LO U N G E

UPCOMING CONCERTS

o f F LYL E A F

2/ 14| 7:00 PM | AA

2/ 15 | 7:00 PM | AA

Surf Bored’s Ryan Hartman (left), with Murray in Crafted Sounds’ “office”

experimental DIY mentality. The compilation opens with a woozy track called “The Ride,” by Sleep Movies, pure bedroom stuff and pretty as hell. The aforementioned “Eating Ass” from wwoman is sexy electronic R&B. Joy Division’s “Disorder” gets a high-energy injection from Surf Bored. If that sounds disparate to you, it’s not. Murray, who runs the label from his Pitt dorm room, was inspired to create Crafted Sounds after growing up attending shows in Baltimore and Washington, D.C., and recognizing the sense of community those events brought. Friends Records, based in Baltimore, was particularly inspiring to Murray because of its commitment to maintaining a strong sense of community within the scene. “I thought, ‘Maybe I’ll try to make my own music,’” he says. “But I was terrible at it, so I started a label.” In addition to Surf Bored, Crafted Sounds has released tapes by High Sunn (San Francisco), Father Tribe (Nashville) and Flossy Clouds (Santa Fe, N.M.). Murray likes to keep the overhead low. He doesn’t turn any proﬁt; all proceeds go to the production of the next tape, of which he makes no more than 100 per release. The label provides only distribution and promotion, which allows Murray to stay focused on a quality product and ensuring that the label can continue. Murray knew he wanted to release a compilation to highlight the underrated bands he’d been working with and listening to, but he was unsure of what to do with the proﬁts. So naturally, he turned to social media and asked his followers to weigh in on a worthy cause. They chose Planned Parenthood. At the time, the threat to defund it was a vague campaign promise, but as it became more of a reality, Murray realized the initiative could actu-

NEWS

2/ 16 | 8 : 00 PM | 18 +

ally make a difference. The 2016 election was the ﬁrst election Murray was old enough to vote in. He had no context for what a “normal” election cycle looks like, but he says it quickly became clear to him that this was not normal. “Being able to see Hillary at the University of Pittsburgh, and then vote for her the next day ... it was insane,” says Murray. “But now to rally with all these individuals to make sure we can keep together as a city, as a state, as a country. That’s what this is. It’s me saying, ‘We can still get it done.’”

2/ 18 | 7:00 7 00 PM | AA

2/21 | 7:00 PM | AA

2/22 | 8 : 00 | 21+

ALEXG O RD O N@PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

2/23 | 8:00 PM | AA

Here are some additional upcoming events that benefit local and national causes. FEB. 10

2/24 | 8 : 00 PM | 21+

1 Billion Been Rising Youth Open Mic Night to END Gender-Based Violence. BOOM Concepts, 5139 Penn Ave., Garfield. 412-450-0290 or www.newvoicespittsburgh.org/sistahspeak. Benefits SistahSpeak Youth Project

3/7 | 7:00 | AA

FEB. 17 The Vagina Monologues performed by Magee Women’s Hospital providers. Ace Hotel, 120 S. Whitfield St., East Liberty. $10. 412-361-3300 or www.acehotel.com/ pittsburgh. Benefits Pittsburgh Action Against Rape

3/8 | 7:00 | AA

FEB. 23 Reign Check, King Fez and Weird Corners. Brillobox, 4104 Penn Ave., Bloomfield. 412-621-4900 or brilloboxpgh.com. Benefits Planned Parenthood

3/ 13 | 7:00 | AA

MARCH 3 The Who’s Tommy, Live In Concert, performed by members of Pittsburgh’s music scene. Rex Theater, 1602 E. Carson St., South Side. 412-381-6811 or rextheater.com. Benefits Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh

M A I N F E AT U R E

MUSIC

ARTS

for tickets visit LIVEATDIESEL.COM or Dave’s Music Mine (southside) 1801 e. carson st | pittsburgh |412.481.8800 +

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CLASSIFIEDS

NEW RELEASES {BY MEG FAIR}

HEARKEN CARTE BLANCHE SELF-RELEASED WWW.HEARKEN.BANDCAMP.COM

Hearken is a grunge-rock duo composed of Donny Donovan (Dinosoul, ex. Roulette Waves), on vocals and guitar, and Greg Brunner (ex. Roulette Waves) on drums. Its debut EP is called carte blanche, and as the title suggests, it offers sound and lyrics that urge reclamation, freedom and risk-taking. The attitude of bands like Nirvana, The Distillers and Screaming Females is present in Hearken’s sound, but carte blanche’s sonic diversity and Donovan’s vocals give the music a brand-new feeling. It’s like a grunge revival that doesn’t just revive, but also puts a fresh pep in the genre’s step. In three songs, Hearken manages to boldly experiment with genre without sounding sloppy or confused. carte blanche leads with the strongest song on the release, “Wake Up.” This track feels the most realized with its mix of gritty alto vocals in the verses, and sharp, heavy vocals in the chorus. Its big sound makes it feel appropriate for basement and bar gigs, but it also would not sound out of place in an arena; the drum work is the most creative on “Wake Up.” “Sure Shock” has a nice mid-tempo feel, and Donovan’s ability to riff hard is very evident in this track. “Tired” is the poppiest of the tracks, but that half-time chorus is destined for a fun crowd-pogo opportunity. Donovan’s flexible vocals capture the soul of the bands in the early grunge movement, from Hole to Pearl Jam, in one fell swoop. Sometimes the reverb on the vocals almost hides the unique timbre that makes Donovan’s voice so distinct and special, but it is a smart production tool that makes two people sound like five. Hearken is bringing something special to Pittsburgh’s alternative scene by combining smart songwriting with clever genre-blending. All three of these tracks would be natural fits into the rotation of any major alternative radio station. With this very strong debut, Hearken is certainly a band to watch. INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.08/02.15.2017

CRITICS’ PICKS blogh.pghcitypaper.com

Martina McBride

Every time you click “reload,” the saints cry.

presents

[COUNTRY] + THU., FEB. 09 She doesn’t always get as much credit as the Shanias and Faiths of the Top 40 country world, but Martina McBride should be considered a genre powerhouse in her own right — she has sold more than 18 million records, after all. Last year’s Reckless, her 13th studio release, found her on the poppier side of twangy (she launched her career in the early ’90s as more of a neo-traditionalist), but her familiar voice and always-warm approach will make fans, new and old, feel right at home. Tonight, she brings the extended leg of her Love Unleashed tour to the Palace Theatre along with pop-country up-and-comer Lauren Alania. Margaret Welsh 7:30 p.m. 21 W. Otterman St., Greensburg. $58.25-243.25. 724-836-8000 or www.thepalacetheatre.org

[ROCK] + FRI., FEB. 10 When well-loved post-punk revival group The Walkmen went ent on hiatus in 2013, frontman Hamilton on Leithauser struck out on his own. On his debut solo record, Black Hours, s Leithauser explored his innerr lounge crooner, blending g the Walkmen-style reverby verby chamber-rock sound und with vintage orchestral hestral arrangements. (The he fact that Leithauser er has always sounded ed more like Nick Lowe or a young Bono than Sinatra a Mykki Blanco only adds to the {PHOTO COURTESY OF charm). Last year, JULIA BURLINGHAM} he collaborated with Vampire Weekend’s Rostam Batmanglij for I Had a Dream m That You Were Mine, a lovely record ord that, if you squint, t, might make you feel like you’re living in n 2008 (if only).

NEWS

Tonight, Leithauser comes to Mr. Smalls Theatre along with another true crooner, Richmondbased indie-rocker Lucy Dacus. MW 8 p.m. 400 Lincoln Ave., Millvale. $20. 412-821-4447 or www.mrsmalls.com

The best in local ttalent, from Polka to theater to acapella stylings

Tickets start at just $17. FREE PARKING! For more information call 724-223-9796 or visit www.washsym.org

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 12 3:00 PM

TRINITY HIGH SCHOOL 231 Park Avenue Washington, PA 15301

Pre-concert program on Henry Mancini begins at 2:15 pm

[LO-FI] + SUN., FEB. 12 Talking about gear and recording equipment can be insufferable and pointless (writer’s opinion), but not so much when it comes to reel-to-reel analog recoding. The Tascam 388, for example, produces a sound well known for its warmth and weird mix of blurriness and clarity. Take a spin through Lina Tullgren’s debut EP, WISHLIST, and no doubt you’ll recognize those qualities and how well they fit with her somber, bittersweet songwriting. Tullgren is a guitarist and songwriter from New England — for some reason everyone mentions this — and tonight, she’s bringing her warm sound to Spirit bill including locals alongside a versatile bil Old Game Erina. Alex e and Morgan Mor Gordon 8:30 p.m p.m. 242 51st St., $7. 412-586-4441 or Lawrenceville. $ www.spiritpgh.com www.spiritpgh

M A I N F E AT U R E

The WSO SO h has received i d ffunding di ffor it its 2016-2017 season marketing project from the Washington County Tourism Promotion Agency, Inc.

[HIP HOP] + THU., FEB.16

Mykki Blanco rolls into Cattivo an early stop on tonight for a Queen tour. If this is the Stunt Qu the first time you’re hearing the name, name do whatever you have to do to experience the provocative, compelpro ling performance from pe this gender-queer rapper, ge activist and poet. Blanco, along with w Cakes Da Killa — another emerging ano artist in the LGBT hip-hop hip-ho community — are here he to serve looks and get g wavy with slick lyrics and the attitude to match. m Alona Williams Will 9 p.m. 146 44th St St., Lawrenceville. $15-17. 412-687-2157 $15-17 www.cattivopgh.com or ww

MUSIC

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TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://PGHCITYPAPER.COM/HAPPENINGS

412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X165 (PHONE)

{ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

ROCK/POP FRI 10

MCG JAZZ PRESENTS

Rufus Reid’s Tribute to Ray Brown with the Pittsburgh Jazz Orchestra February 10 & 11 8:00 p.m. All concerts are held at Manchester Craftsmen’s Guild. For tickets, please call 412-322-0800 or visit mcgjazz.org.

BLACK FORGE COFFEE HOUSE. Thieves & Lovers w/ Tough Night on Carson & Tranquility. Knoxville. 412-291-8994. CATTIVO. 13 Saints, Venus in Furs, False Icons. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2157. CLUB CAFE. Blvd Shakedown. South Side. 412-431-4950. DIESEL. Local Foreigners, Asco Jones, Moemaw Naedon & Peter $un. South Side. 412-431-8800. MR. SMALLS THEATER. Hamilton Leithauser w/ Lucy Dacus. Millvale. 412-821-4447. SPEAL’S TAVERN. Lenny Smith & The Instant Gators. New Alexandria. 724-433-1322. SPIRIT HALL & LODGE. Mike Dillon Band & Spafford. Lawrenceville. 412-586-4441. STAGE AE. Less Than Jake, Pepper w/ The Attack, The Bunny Gang. North Side. 412-229-5483.

SAT 11 BAJA BAR AND GRILL. Ferris Bueller’s Revenge Band. Fox Chapel. 412-963-0640. BALTIMORE HOUSE. Teresa Hawthorne & Legacee Live. Pleasant Hills. 412-653-9332. CLUB CAFE. Rachel B & the Boys w/ Alyssa Turkowski. South Side. 412-431-4950. CRAFTHOUSE STAGE & GRILL. Waiting for Ray. Whitehall. 412-653-2695. DOWNEY’S HOUSE. RPG’s. Robinson. 412-489-5631. GOOSKI’S. Matt King & The Dukes of Saint Clair, The Standard Moves. Polish Hill. 412-681-1658. THE HANGAR. The Eclectic Acoustics. Coraopolis. 724-457-9630. HOWLERS. The Gothees, Vertigo-Go & the Barrelhouse Barroom Country, The Highballers & Sean “Link” Lally. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320. NIED’S HOTEL. James Buckley, Donna O, Bill Ivins, Shani Love, John Casciato. Feat. former Steel City Angel, singer/dancer Cathey Means. Lawrenceville. 412-781-9853. PALACE THEATRE. Foghat. Greensburg. 724-836-8000. PALANZO’S BUILDING. Valerie Kuehne & Wasps Nests, Homing, Giling, Cris Schayer, Arvid Tomayko. Bloomfield. 412-682-0591.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.08/02.15.2017

REX THEATER. Donna The Buffalo. South Side. 412-381-6811. ROCHESTER INN HARDWOOD GRILLE. SpinCycle. Ross. 412-364-8166. SMILING MOOSE. Divulge , Tori Leigh, Pinstripe Sunny, Multiverse Theory, The Seedz. South Side. 412-431-4668. THE SUB ALPINE. King’s Ransom. Turtle Creek. 412-823-6661.

SUN 12 THE R BAR. Billy The Kid & the Regulators. Dormont. 412-942-0882.

TUE 14 CLUB CAFE. Sugar Daddy & the Big Boned Girls. South Side. 412-431-4950. DIESEL. Lacey Sturm, Palisades, Letters From The Fire & Stitched Up Heart. South Side. 412-431-8800. SMILING MOOSE. Message to the Masses, Altered Perceptions,

My Heart to Fear. South Side. 412-431-4668.

WED 15 CLUB CAFE. Albert Lee w/ Cryers. South Side. 412-431-4950. DIESEL. Motograter, Only Flesh. South Side. 412-431-8800. MR. SMALLS THEATER. August Burns Red w/ Protest The Hero, In Hearts Wake, ‘68. Millvale. 412-821-4447.

DJS THU 09 BELVEDERE’S. Strangeways w/ Babesway. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555. MR. SMALLS THEATER. Centrifuge Thursdays. At the Funhouse. Millvale. 412-821-4447. PERLE CHAMPAGNE BAR. Bobby D Bachata. Downtown. 412-471-2058.

MP 3 MONDAY MARISSA HAPEMAN

Each week, we bring you a new song from a local artist. This week, it’s some chiptune brilliance from Marissa Hapeman’s “Big Bad Crush,” the opening track from her Solstice EP released last month. Check out the full EP on her Bandcamp, but in the meantime, stream or download “Big Bad Crush” for free at FFW>>, the music blog at www.pghcitypaper.com.

EARLY WARNINGS

SUN 12

JAZZ

HAMBONE’S. Ukulele Jam. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

THU 09 JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Roger Humphries Jam Session. Ballroom. North Side. 412-904-3335. VALLOZZI’S PITTSBURGH. Eric Johnson. Downtown. 412-394-3400.

FRI 10 ANDORA RESTAURANT FOX CHAPEL. Pianist Harry Cardillo & vocalist Charlie Sanders. Fox Chapel. 412-967-1900. GRILLE ON SEVENTH. Tony Campbell & Howie Alexander. Downtown. 412-391-1004. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Lee Robinson & ISKA. North Side. 412-904-3335. SWEETWATER CENTER FOR THE ARTS. Craig Davis. Sewickley. 412-741-4405.

JoJo

[SAT., APRIL 01]

JoJo

SAT 11

Stage AE, 400 North Shore Drive, North Side

FRI 10

TUE 14

ANDYS WINE BAR. DJ Malls Spins Vinyl. Downtown. 412-773-8884. BELVEDERE’S. Lazercrunk w/ Castle. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555. THE FLATS ON CARSON. Pete Butta. South Side. 412-586-7644. HOWLERS. Night Time feat. Zombo & Futurism. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Downtempo & Ambient PLAY. North Side. 412-904-3335. ONE 10 LOUNGE. DJ Goodnight, DJ Rojo. Downtown. 412-874-4582. ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance. South Side. 412-431-2825. RUGGER’S PUB. 80s Night w/ DJ Connor. South Side. 412-381-1330.

THE GOLDMARK. Pete Butta. Reggae & dancehall. Lawrenceville. 412-688-8820.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Tony Campbell Saturday Afternoon Jazz Session. North Side. 412-904-3335. THE MONROEVILLE RACQUET CLUB. Jazz Bean Live. Every Saturday, a different band. Monroeville. 412-728-4155. THE SPACE UPSTAIRS. Second Saturdays. Jazz-happening series feat. live music, multimedia experimentations, more. Hosted by The Pillow Project. Point Breeze. 412-225-9269. TABLE 86 BY HINES WARD. RML Jazz. Mars. 412-370-9621. VILLAGE TAVERN & TRATTORIA. Roger Barbour Band. West End. 412-458-0417.

WED 15

SUN 12

SAT 11

MOONDOG’S. Miller and the Other Sinners, with the Stevee Wellons Band. Blawnox. 412-828-2040.

[THU., MAY 11]

Red Hot Chili Peppers PPG Paints Arena, 1001 Fifth Ave., Uptown [MON., MAY 15]

Tech N9ne

Stage AE, 400 North Shore Drive, North Side

BELVEDERE’S. Dirty south night w dj admc. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555. DIESEL. DJ CK. South Side. 412-431-8800. REMEDY. Feeling Without Touching. Lawrenceville. 412-781-6771. ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance. South Side. 412-431-2825. SPIRIT HALL & LODGE. BOUNCE: Hip Hop, Trap & Bounce w/ Christo & Slim Tha DJ. Lawrenceville. 412-726-0061.

NEWS

SMILING MOOSE. Rock Star Karaoke w/ T-MONEY. South Side. 412-431-4668. SPOON. Spoon Fed. East Liberty. 412-362-6001.

HIP HOP/ R&B SAT 11 SMILING MOOSE. Super Generic (Music) Showcase. South Side. 431-431-4668.

FULL LIST ONLINE

www. per pa pghcitym .co

PITTSBURGH SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. Tchaikovsky’s Sleeping Beauty. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900.

CLASSICAL

ALLEGHENY ELKS LODGE #339. Pittsburgh Banjo Club. Wednesdays. North Side. 412-321-1834. PARK HOUSE. Shelf Life String Band. North Side. 412-224-2273. WHEELFISH. Jason Born. Ross. 412-487-8909.

TUE 14

THU 09

RADOSLAW, VIOLINIST. Rivers Casino, North Side. 412-231-7777.

...IN EXCELSIS. Feat. PSO trumpeter Neal Berntsen as soloist in MacMillan’s Seraph & the Prayer of St. Gregory by Alan Hovhaness. Our Festival Chorus will perform works by MacMillan & Verdi, along w/ Vaughan Williams’ Flos Campi for solo viola, wordless chorus & chamber orchestra. Third Presbyterian Church, Oakland. 412-501-3330.

REGGAE THU 09 PIRATA. The Flow Band. Downtown. 412-323-3000.

FRI 10 CAPRI PIZZA AND BAR. Bombo Claat w/ VYBZ Machine Intl Sound System. East Liberty. 412-362-1250.

SAT 11 MR. SMALLS THEATER. 5th Annual Reggae Fusion Fest. Millvale. 412-821-4447.

OTHER MUSIC THU 9 LINDEN GROVE. Karaoke. Castle Shannon. 412-882-8687. RIVERS CASINO. Nick Fiasco. North Side. 412-231-7777.

FRI 10 LINDEN GROVE. The House Band. Castle Shannon. 412-882-8687. RIVERS CASINO. The Bill Henry Band & Right Turn Clyde. North Side. 412-231-7777.

FRI 10 PITTSBURGH SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. Tchaikovsky’s Sleeping Beauty. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900.

SAT 11

COUNTRY THU 09 CLUB CAFE. Jonathan Byrd & the Pickup Cowboys w/ T. Mitchell Bell. South Side. 412-431-4950.

FRI 10 CLUB CAFE. Charlie Hustle & the Pickers, Hollow Oaks w/ Corey Kurtz. South Side. 412-431-4950.

SAT 11

CARNEGIE LECTURE HALL. Valerie June. Oakland. 412-237-8300. RIVERS CASINO. Artistree & Sully n’ Friends. North Side. 412-231-7777.

MON 13 CABARET AT THEATER SQUARE. Brandon Uranowtiz. Downtown. 412-325-6769.

MON 13

HAMBONE’S. Ian Kane, Ronnie Weiss & Tom Boyce. Jazz Standards, showtunes & blues. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

ACOUSTIC

FRI 10

THU 09 ATRIA’S RESTAURANT & TAVERN. Just JJ. Monroeville. 724-733-4453. DOWNEY’S HOUSE. John Y. Robinson. 412-489-5631.

SAT 11 MOONDOG’S. John Nemeth. Blawnox. 412-828-2040. THE R BAR. Strange Brew. Dormont. 412-942-0882.

FRI 10

SUN 12

SAT 11

THE HARDWOOD CAFE. The Eclectic Acoustics. Butler. 724-586-5353.

CARNEGIE LIBRARY, OAKLAND. Christopher Mark Jones. Oakland. 412-622-3151.

M A I N F E AT U R E

SUN 12

ELWOOD’S PUB. The Agway Shoplifters. Rural Ridge. 724-265-1181.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Ethnic Heritage Ensemble. Kahil El’Zabar feat. Corey Wilkes & Alex Harding. North Side. 412-904-3335. ROCKS LANDING BAR & GRILLE. Tony Campbell & the Jazz Surgery. McKees Rocks. 412 -857- 5809.

BLUES

WED 15

SAT 11

DOUBLE WIDE GRILL. Right TurnClyde. North Huntingdon. 724-863-8181.

MUSIC

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What to do Feb

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WEDNESDAY 8

FRIDAY 10 105

Smiling Moose South Side. 412-431-4668. With special guests Round2Crew. All ages show. Tickets: ticketﬂy.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 7:30p.m.

SPIRIT Lawrenceville. 412-586-4441. Over 21 show. Tickets: greyareaprod.com. 9p.m.

SMILING MOOSE South Side. 412-431-4668. With special guests Highway 4, Tommy Magik & the Wonderfulls. Over 21 show. Tickets: ticketﬂy.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

Less Than Jake & Pepper

Vintage Valentine’s Workshop

WHY DON’T WE

THURSDAY 9

Jonathan Byrd & the Pickup Cowboys CLUB CAFE South Side. 412-431-4950. With special guest T. Mitchell Bell. Over 21 show. Tickets: ticketweb.com/ opusone. 8p.m.

Martina McBride THE PALACE THEATRE Greensburg. 724-836-8000. With special guest Lauren Alaina. All ages show. Tickets: thepalacetheatre.org. 7:30p.m.

MAKEnight: My Snarky Valentine CHILDREN’S MUSEUM North Side. Over 21 event. For tickets and more info visit pittsburghkids.org. 6:30p.m.

Mike Dillon Band & Spafford

STAGE AE North Side. With special guests The Bunny Gang & The Attack. All ages show. Tickets: ticketmaster. com or 1-800-745-3000. Doors open at 6:30p.m.

The X Winter Rock Showcase

HARD ROCK CAFE Station Square. 412-481-7625. With special guests A Little Less Human, Fallen Kingdom, Horus Maze, Mourning After & more. All ages show. Tickets: ticketﬂy.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 9p.m.

Hamilton Leithauser

MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-421-4447. With special guest Lucy Dacus. All ages show. Tickets:

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.08/02.15.2017

ACE HOTEL East Liberty. For more info visit warhol.org. Free event. 11a.m.

SLEEPING BEAUTY HEINZ HALL THROUGH FEB 12 ticketweb.com/opusone. 8p.m.

Rufus Reid: Tribute to Ray Brown

MANCHESTER CRAFTSMEN’S GUILD North Side. With special guest Pittsburgh Jazz Orchestra. Tickets: mcgjazz. org or 412-322-0800. Through Feb. 11.

SATURDAY 11 Donna the Buffalo

REX THEATER South Side. 412-431-1681. Over 21 show.

MONDAY 13 Tickets: greyareaprod.com. 8p.m.

Sleeping Beauty

HEINZ HALL Downtown. 412-456-6666. Tickets: pittsburghsymphony.org. Through Feb. 12.

Reggae Fusion Fest

MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-821-4447. All ages show. Tickets: reggaefusionfest. eventbrite.com. 9p.m.

SOUND SERIES: Valerie June CARNEGIE LECTURE HALL Oakland. For tickets and more info visit warhol.org. 8p.m.

SUNDAY 12 Skillet

STAGE AE North Side. With special guests Sick Puppies & Devour the Day. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. Doors open at 6:30p.m.

Alice in Wonderland: A thrill ride of wonders BENEDUM CENTER Downtown. 412-456-6666. Tickets: pbt.org. Through Feb. 19.

TUESDAY 14

A Spoonful of Sugar: A Valentine Antidote CLUB CAFE South Side. 412-431-4950. With special guests Sugar Daddy & the Big Boned Girls. Over 21 show. Tickets: ticketweb.com/ opusone. 7:30p.m.

[DANCE]

IT STILL HAS DARKROOMS, AFTER ALL

SHADOW PLAY Popular dance troupe Pilobolus returns to Pittsburgh for two performances of its internationally acclaimed theatrical production Shadowland, Feb. 10 and 11 at the Byham Theater. This stop on the troupe’s nationwide tour — Pilobolus’ first visit since 2010, courtesy of Pittsburgh Dance Council — is also a homecoming for Murrysville native Nathaniel Buchsbaum, a member of the Shadowland cast since 2012. While it has been entertaining audiences across Europe since it premiered, in 2009, Shadowland didn’t debut in North American until 2015. Why the delay? Buchsbaum, speaking by phone from a tour stop in Charleston, S.C., suggests that reasons include the success of the show abroad and a desire to avoid competing with the venerable, Connecticut-based Pilobolus’ regular U.S. repertory company. Shadowland was created in collaboration with Steven Banks, the lead writer of TV’s SpongeBob SquarePants. The 75-minute dance-theater piece, set to original music by David Poe, combines projected shadow play, multimedia, circus arts, dance and more to tell the surreal story of a young girl’s dream of a sensational world as she comes of age. To portray figures from that dream, performers contort their bodies into shadow configurations of airplanes, elephants, flowers and more. Buchsbaum says he will perform several roles in the Pittsburgh premiere, from a chef to various shadow creatures. He describes his indoctrination into the show as a trial by fire. He and another new dancer “got the barebones structure of the show in Connecticut [Pilobolus’ home base] and then flew to Europe. Within three weeks of performances adding us in scene by scene, we were fully integrated into the show,” says Buchsbaum. In her 2015 review, the New York Times’ Siobhan Burke described one sequence in Shadowland: “A teenage girl lost in a dark dream, she’s at the mercy of a mysterious giant who, with the rustle of one imposing hand, turns her into a dog from the waist up. Both before and after this transformation, she is chased, threatened, prodded, eaten, humiliated, even tied up and whipped.” While the show’s target audience skews more mature than that of SpongeBob SquarePants, “It’s definitely a family-friendly show,” says Buchsbaum. “We get a lot of kids and adults who really enjoy it.” INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

SHADOWLAND 8 p.m. Fri., Feb. 10, and 8 p.m. Sat., Feb. 11. Byham Theater, 101 Sixth St., Downtown. $10-60. 412-456-6666 or www.trustarts.org NEWS

Pilobolus in Shadowland {PHOTO COURTESY OF IAN DOUGLAS}

{BY STEVE SUCATO}

{CP PHOTOS BY JOHN HAMILTON}

Germaine Williams, the new CEO of Pittsburgh Filmmakers/Pittsburgh Center for the Arts

[ARTS]

NEW TAKE {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

ERMAINE WILLIAMS ﬁrst visited

Pittsburgh Filmmakers around 1999, when, new to town, he took a photography class at the group’s then-new Oakland headquarters. In those heady days, Filmmakers was growing, from its real-estate footprint and film-exhibition program to enrollment at its school. In 2006, Filmmakers merged with another venerable arts organization, Pittsburgh Center for the Arts; Williams, for his part, went on to become a senior program officer for arts and culture with the Pittsburgh Foundation. This past December, PF/PCA hired its first chief executive officer: Williams, 43. The hiring comes following a few years of crisis for the group, which in June 2015 was running big deficits when it laid off 18 full- and part-time workers, one-fifth of its staff. Six months later, following a state-

ment of no confidence signed by more than 30 staffers, longtime executive director Charlie Humphrey resigned. In 2016, under interim leadership, restructuring began. But the group’s once-expansive film festival was reduced to a single weekend, and many questions about the organization’s future remain. Interviewed Feb. 1, 10 days into his tenure, Williams says he has begun looking for answers. As the Pittsburgh Foundation’s program officer for PF/PCA during his nine years there, he arrives at his new job well informed. He was joined for the interview by two longtime staffers: director of administration Dorinda Sankey and director of education Susan Howard. And, says Williams, he was busy talking to staff and others, “just really getting to understand where the organization is.”

PF/PCA is out of crisis mode. It now has 25 full-time and 30 part-time workers (the latter number fluctuates seasonally), and few dozen adjuncts and teaching artists. After three straight years of deficits in the mid six figures, its budget of $3.9 million is balanced. PF/PCA revamped its bylaws, transitioning from a membership organization to a more conventional communitybased arts group. Its organizational chart was revamped to save money and clarify its mission. Other promising developments included, last fall, a new arrangement with the University of Pittsburgh that was years in the making: Pitt’s film-studies major now has a production track, and PF/PCA is providing many of those classes. That’s important because while the group might be best known for its film screenings and gallery CONTINUES ON PG. 34

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exhibits, it makes most of its money from education — a revenue stream that took a huge hit after Point Park University started its own film-production program, in 2003. The arrangement with Pitt “means that we have a film-production major at a major university in our city, and Filmmakers is partnered with that,” says Howard. (“We’re thrilled,” says Robert Clift, director of Pitt’s film-and-media production track. “I think it’s going to draw a lot of students.”) Other initiatives include marketing to independent students the group’s certificate programs in film, digital video and photography. Conventional wisdom suggests that independent media students have been lost to higher-quality consumergrade gear and YouTube tutorials. But PF/ PCA’s braintrust believes its classes still appeal, in any art form. (PCA offers classes in things like ceramics and painting.) “We have community, we have expert mentorship, guidance, feedback — that critical process of responding to people’s work,” says Howard. “This issue of artmaking, and building community around artmaking, is central,” adds Williams. “That’s the core of what the organization offers.” PF/PCA’s educational offerings through classes and summer camps and in commu-

Williams with director of administration Dorinda Sankey (left) and director of education Susan Howard

nity-based settings for students of all ages remain extensive. The group is exploiting a resurgent interest in analog ﬁlmmaking and photography among younger people — it still has darkrooms, after all. And it’s embracing new technology, for instance with classes incorporating 3-D printers and drone photography. While the group’s visual-art exhibitions have continued apace, the ﬁlm side has seen changes. Programming for its three theaters (Regent Square, Harris and Melwood)

has been outsourced. But that’s a temporary development, Williams says — and so is the scaling-back of the Three Rivers Arts Festival, run last year by JFilm. “The goal, ultimately, is to have it be a vibrant festival that people want to come to, and that people in the region want to travel to,” he says. Big ﬁnancial challenges remain, among them simply maintaining the group’s ﬁve aging buildings. “There are huge needs,” says Williams. Sankey, the director of administration, says estimated maintenance

costs for the group’s 85,000 square feet of space are $100,000 this year, and then $1.1 million in 2018. Other challenges trace to the 2006 merger. Critics within the organization had long contended that the two groups were too different to merge, and bad feelings had persisted. “Those artist communities are deep,” acknowledges Williams. “But as an organization, it’s critical for us to be as efﬁcient as possible. … By and large, folks that I hear from are not wedded to a separateness. They are interested in really coming together and realizing a true merger.” During PF/PCA’s crises, employee morale, not surprisingly, sank. Williams’ hiring seems to have generated optimism. “I’m really hopeful, actually,” says Will Zavala, a Filmmakers associate professor. The choice for CEO of someone with an arts background like Williams’ suggests “that they really want to build an organization for the community, and not just one that survives.” “We’re no longer thinking about just stabilizing, just operating in safe mode,” says Williams. “We are really out in the community, we’re vibrant, we’re taking risks, we’re ﬁring on all cylinders. That’s where I want the staff to feel like it’s going.” “I think everyone is looking forward,” he adds. D RI S C OL L @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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Call today 412-329-6523 to schedule a visit and complimentary meal! Bethel Park Independent Retirement Living Bethel Park, PA bethel-park.net ©2017 HARVEST MANAGEMENT SUB LLC, HOLIDAY AL MANAGEMENT SUB LLC, HOLIDAY AL NIC MANAGEMENT LLC.

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Ann Talman in Woody’s Order, at The REP

[PLAY REVIEWS]

LIFE LINES {BY TED HOOVER}

ANN TALMAN ought to be a Pittsburgh

landmark. She grew up here, and graduated from Upper St. Clair High School and Penn State. Moving to New York, she was quickly cast as Elizabeth Taylor’s daughter in the notorious 1981 Broadway production of The Little Foxes. More Broadway followed, as well as most of the important off-Broadway theater companies, with ﬁlm and television credits, too. She even gueststarred on Seinfeld! Now having taken up writing, she’s back in Pittsburgh with her one-woman show Woody’s Order at the Pittsburgh Playhouse’s The REP. So how come she doesn’t have streets named after her all over town?

WOODY’S ORDER continues through Feb. 19. Pittsburgh Playhouse, 222 Craft Ave., Oakland. $10-29. 412-392-8000 or www.pittsburghplayhouse.com

Because all of the above has really been Talman’s second job; her main work, indeed the focus of her life, has been guardianship of her older brother, Woody, a man with profound cerebral palsy. When he was a child, he forcefully made his wish known for a baby sibling. When Ann was born, her mother wrote on her photograph, “Woody’s Order!” and it was always understood that Ann would learn to care for him since, at some point, her parents

NEWS

would not be able to. At the cost of career and relationships, she’s filled that destiny admirably. And now Talman looks back over her life as her brother’s keeper, and working actress, and puts those thoughts, stories and reflections into this play. It’s an evening of intense emotion as Talman surveys a tumultuous past. Woody’s well-being hasn’t been her only challenge — there’s also familial substance and alcohol abuse, emotional and physical illness, and mind-boggling exhaustion. At one point, she’s dividing her time between Los Angeles, New York, her brother’s nursing home in Allentown and her father’s nursing home in Pittsburgh. (In his later years, he becomes afflicted with Alzheimer’s disease.) What pulls her, and us, through it all is not only the great love she has for her brother, but the support he gives her and the sense of home she feels with him. Talman, no surprise, is a quite capable performer, and the guidance of director John Shepard makes this a deeply moving journey of pain, compassion and, ultimately, love.

[BOOK REVIEW]

burgh hero. Josh: The Black Babe Ruth juxtaposes the greatness of the future Hall of Famer with the systemic racism that withheld the Major League stature he deserved. The Negro Leagues slugger died young, at age 35 in 1947 — of a broken heart, the legend goes — just a few months before Jackie Robinson ofﬁcially broke the color barrier. Michael A. Jones’ 2008 one-act touches on parts of Gibson’s early life, but Josh isn’t so much a bio-play as a portrait of struggle, “a dream deferred,” in Langston Hughes’ famous (and acknowledged) words. Josh is indeed dream-like, moving back and forth in time, inside Gibson but also with running commentary from his buddy and brother, Pittsburgh/baseball legend Satchel Paige. The surreal approach is lovingly punctuated with photos of the times (projected on the wall) and classic songs, both recorded and live. The result, while pleasant, isn’t always easy to follow. I never realized that the character of the harridan Hattie, seemingly from a previous generation, wasn’t an inlaw or aunt, but Gibson’s estranged second wife. Nor is it clear that Gibson’s neurological problems long predated his alcohol and alleged (never proven) drug abuse. The small cast, directed by Charles Dumas, brings a lot of energy. In the mercurial title role, the always dependable Jonathan Berry contrasts the steadiness of Satchel Paige, played strongly by Lamar K. Cheston. Shaun McCarthy embodies the siren Grace Fournier, the femme fatale who aids Gibson’s self-destruction. Jacquea Olday ably portrays several women, including the mysterious Hattie.

SYMMETRIES {BY FRED SHAW}

But it’s Kevin Brown who, besides serving as the multiple male ensemble, provides the pulse of the play as the Music Man. In between the occasional comic turn as a bartender or observer, Brown belts out spirituals and blues that clean out the soul. Most notable, seemingly Josh’s “theme” song, is Blind Lemon Jefferson’s “See That My Grave Is Kept Clean.” Here’s one kind favor: It is indeed. Allegheny Cemetery Section 50, Lot C, Grave No. 232. Wear sturdy shoes for the uphill climb. More symbolism?

When Robert Gibb quotes modernist master Ezra Pound saying, “The natural object / is always the adequate symbol,” in his Poundian poem “Cathay,” it’s a sign that what follows leans heavily on imagery and precise language. Gibb doesn’t disappoint as the poem unwinds in a series of painterly images (“The pleached frazzled asphalt / still splotchy with rain … / The guardrail, the river / still blue through the trees”) that add up to something emotionally evocative in his well-crafted lines. After, Gibb’s 11th collection and 2016 winner of the Marsh Hawk Press Poetry Prize (chosen by the acclaimed Mark Doty), showcases a writer finding beauty in the everyday and making it relatable. Gibb, a Homestead resident (and native) and winner of numerous awards and grants, shows he’s lost nothing off his fastball as the new collection’s 96 pages descriptively explore the speaker’s daily life, often through the natural world, music, art and literature. As a long-time reader and former pupil of Gibb’s, it’s nice to see him maintain his aesthetic principles while also approaching more intimate topics. In the sonnet “Saying Goodbye,” he writes, “Miles Davis famously gave up playing ballads / And with them that beautiful measured aching / He loved, he said, too much.” The poem ends with a turn toward the elegiac, referencing a wife’s passing by saying, “The first gift I gave you was a dress, to keep you / Safely under wraps, and only then to undress you.” The connection of the two subjects might leave a reader in awe. The lines’ descriptiveness here offers insight into the speaker’s self, moreso than in previous books. In “Teasel,” Gibb writes, “Even the brown furze of lawn grass / Is drawing the promise of water / Into its nap, the teasel glowing / Brindle alongside the roads. / It’s time again, nearing the start / Of autumn and the birthday / I’d thought I might never reach, / to begin relearning just what I know: / That anger is a kind of sorrow …” The pastoral here takes on the more personal and philosophical. The poems in this collection succeed in their symmetry. In “Snow Days,” it’s the shifting images of “the dead of winter.” In “Listening to Pharaoh Sanders …,” a jazz album sparks memory, as Gibb writes of an infant son whose “whole body would be jumping for joy.” After is a potent reminder of Gibb’s talents.

INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

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I N F O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

HARDBALL {BY MICHELLE PILECKI}

NEW HORIZON THEATER celebrates its 25th anniversary with a salute to a Pitts-

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JOSH: THE BLACK BABE RUTH continues through Sun., Feb. 12. New Horizon Theater at the Falk School, 4020 Allequippa St., Oakland. $15-20. www.newhorizontheater.org

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FOR THE WEEK OF

02.09-02.16.17 Full events listed online at www.pghcitypaper.com John Henry was a legend — and he was also a real person. So contends Scott Reynolds Nelson in his 2006 book Steel Drivin’ Man, which located the 19th-century inspiration for the John Henry folk tale in a former African-American Union soldier who, imprisoned for theft, ended up a convict who was leased out to blast railroad tunnels through the Alleghenies in West Virginia.

{PHOTO COURTESY OF RENEE ROSENSTEEL AND THE NEW HAZLETT CSA}

Steel Drivin’ Man was a key inspiration for theater artist Anya Martin in conceiving JH: Mechanics of a Legend. The play was devised for her Hiawatha Project by Martin, Monteze Freeland, Kyle Bostian, Tom Driscoll and Delana Flowers; following its compelling work-in-progress debut in 2015, as part of the New Hazlett Theater’s CSA series, it returns in a full-length version for its premiere production, Feb. 9-18 at the August Wilson Center. The script, unconventionally, is mostly a collage artfully assembled from direct quotes from found sources ranging from slave narratives to modern scholarly studies. John Henry (played by Freeland) and his wife, Polly (Flowers), traverse a landscape of the Reconstruction-era South where what’s being rebuilt is the machine that turned the slavery on which America’s wealth was founded into inmate labor and other forms of exploitation of African Americans. That machine is embodied by the characters of The Engineer and The Mechanic, some of whose dialogue is drawn from the book Science of Mechanics. The plentiful music, composed of excerpts and iterations, all a capella, of the oft-sung folk song “John Henry,” comes courtesy of musical direction by Caroline Wazenegger. The play’s full-length version also features a new character, Lucy (Linda Haston), a later version of Polly who serves as a narrator. JH also intentionally finds parallels between the racial injustices of John Henry’s time and those of today, when labor camps have been replaced by the prison-industrial complex. Staging the show, she says, “You’re working with a lot of ghosts in the room.”

{PHOTO COURTESY OF DUANE RIEDER}

^ Fri., Feb. 10: Alice in Wonderland

thursday 02.09

BY BILL O’DRISCOLL

Thu., Feb. 9-Feb. 18. 980 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $30-35. 412-456-6666 or www.hiawathaproject.org

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.08/02.15.2017

PARTY Remember how proud you used to be of your homemade valentines in elementary school? Relive those moments during MAKEnight (21+): My Snarky Valentine at the Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh. Make a shrinky-dink or a gold-leaf valentine, silkscreen a love note, or decorate an Eat’n Park Smiley cookie during this adults-only event. Think of how much saucier you can make them now that they’re not for your mom. (On second thought, make your mom one too!) Afterward, enjoy a dance lesson and some adult refreshments. Get your tickets now, this event sells out fast. Amani Newton 6:30 p.m. 10 Children’s Way, North Side. $15-20. 412-322-5058 or www.pittsburghkids.org

STAGE The Pink Unicorn has been performed all over the U.S. and Canada since its debut in 2013, and it’s easy to see why. The oneperson play by Elise Forier Edie focuses on Trish, a widow raising her 14-year-old daughter in a small, conservative Texas town. When the girl announces that she is gender-queer, mom is torn between her love for her child and her fear of nonconforming. Off the Wall Productions will stage four performances this

week, starring Amy Landis. A reprise production is planned in May. AN 8 p.m. Continues through Sun., Feb. 12. Carnegie Stage. 25 W. Main St., Carnegie. $25-40. 724-873-3576 or www.insideofthewall.com

COMEDY For its fourth anniversary, Arcade Comedy Theater has planned four days of shows. Tonight, sample the improv of Bonus Stage. Friday night, see more improv from Player One, plus standup comedy game show Stand-Up Get Down. Saturday afternoon brings the Penny Arcade Kids Comedy Show. That night, the Arcade Hootenanny finds improvisers building scenes out of true stories told live on stage; the guest storytellers are nationally known Second City vets Rob Belushi (pictured) and Tim Stoltenberg. Belushi and Stoltenberg stick around for a late-night show, with their improv duo, Sheldon, making its Arcade debut. Things wrap Sunday with a Bonus Stage show featuring Arcade house teams. Proceeds from the weekend benefit Arcade’s upcoming move to a bigger space up the street. Bill O’Driscoll 8 p.m. Continues through Sun., Feb. 12. 811 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $7-15. www.arcadecomedytheater.com ^ Thu., Feb. 9: Arcade Comedy Theater

^ Thu., Feb. 9: MAKEnight (21+): My Snarky Valentine

friday 02.10 ART

[ JAN 21 – FEB 1 2 ]

Two art shows open Downtown tonight, each with a reception. At SPACE, catch Doubt, a multimedia group show with works in neon, photography, audio and more by artists including Lenka Clayton, Lori Hepner and Diane Samuels; it’s curated by Nadine Wasserman (a frequent CP contributor). Just blocks away, the Pittsburgh Cultural Trust’s Lantern Building hosts Miniatures, an exhibit of mixed-media paintings by Harish Saluja, abstracts inspired by the traditional miniature paintings of his native India. Saluja is also known for leading arts organization Silk Screen. BO Receptions: 5:30-10 p.m. (free). Miniatures continues through March 19 (600 Liberty Ave.); Doubt continues through March 26 (812 Liberty Ave.). www.trustarts.org

“AN ENTHRALLING EVENING OF THEATER.” — PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

DANCE Renowned British choreographer Derek Deane’s Alice in Wonderland world-premiered in London, in 1995, and made its North American premiere in 2008, courtesy of Pittsburgh Ballet {ART BY GINA OCCHIOGROSSO} Theatre. The PBT reprises the ^ Fri., Feb. 10: Doubt show starting tonight, with 10 performances over a rare two-weekend Benedum Center run. Set to a medley of Tchaikovsky works, this Alice — full of favorite scenes and characters, from Mad Hatter to Red Queen —is acclaimed for both its rich dancing and its wild costuming and set design, which honor both Lewis Carroll and John Tenniel’s iconic original illustrations. BO 8 p.m. Continues through Feb. 19. 237 Seventh St., Downtown. $28-108. 412-456-6666 or www.pbt.org

THE ROYALE BY

Marco Ramirez

DIRECTED BY

Stuart Carden

BUY YOUR TICKETS TODAY! Use code CITYCITY to save $5 on single tickets 412.431.CITY (2489) | CityTheatreCompany.org | South Side

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328 Atwood wood ood od Str Street r t • Oa Oak Oakland

^ Sat., Feb. 11: Requiem

saturday 02.11 MUSIC When it was founded in 1934, The Bach Choir of Pittsburgh intended, fittingly, to perform the work of Johann Sebastian Bach exclusively. However, tonight and tomorrow, at Downtown’s First Presbyterian Church, the choir will touch audiences with a rare performance of Randall Thompson’s Requiem. Thompson, an American composer, wrote his masterpiece in response to the loss of close friends. Composed for double-chorus a cappella, it takes the form of a dramatic dialogue between two choirs, a “chorus of mourners” and a “chorus of the faithful,” employing an extensive selection of Biblical verses to map the despondence of grief and the promise of eternal life. AN 8 p.m. Also 4 p.m. Sun., Feb. 12. 320 Sixth St., Downtown. $12-27. 412-241-4044 or www.bachchoirpittsburgh.org

sunday 02.12 WORDS Chris Grabenstein went from acting in an improv troupe alongside Bruce Willis to writing award-winning novels for the middle-school crowd. Today he’ll read from his New York Times bestselling books The Island of Dr. Libris and the Mr. Lemoncello series, as part of the Words & Pictures talks presented by Pittsburgh Arts & Lectures. Bring your kids even if they haven’t read the books yet — Grabenstein’s presentations are buttressed with lessons extracted from his acting days. The golden rules of improv, which prioritize openness, can communicate valuable lessons about not focusing on perfection. AN 2:30 p.m. Carnegie Library Lecture Hall. 4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $11. 412-622-8866 or www.pittsburghlectures.org

tuesday 02.14

^ Tue., Feb. 14: Galumpha

STAGE Take the choreography, acrobatics, physical comedy and visual effects of Cirque du Soleil, and subtract, well, all the weirdness, and you’ll start to get an idea of Galumpha. The “human jungle gym” from Binghamton, N.Y., starts a mini-tour of Pittsburgh this week, with six performance locations throughout the region. Formed in 2002, the troupe has performed around the world, earning the Edinburgh Festival Critics’ Choice Award and the Moers International Comedy Arts Prize. The family-friendly shows are part of Citizens Bank Children’s Theater Series. AN 7 p.m. (Seneca Valley Senior High School, 128 Seneca School Road, Harmony). Continues through Feb. 19 (various locations). $10.50; kids under 2 free. 412-456-6666 or www.trustarts.org

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.08/02.15.2017

EVENT: Adults-Only Disco Skate with DJ Eddie Jenkins at the Schenley Ice Rink, Schenley Park CRITIC: Alaina Zangaro, 23, a certified nursing assistant from the North Side WHEN: Sat.,

HIGH-OCTANE MUSIC MUSICAL CAL ENTERTAINMENT!

Drew Leigh Williams, Jon Rohlf, Erika Strasburg & David Toole| Photo: Archie Carpenter

EVERYONE IS A CRITIC

Feb. 04

This is so fun! Everybody looks like they’re having a good time. There’s such good vibes all around. I love this DJ. I really do, though [the disco] takes me back in time! My best friend actually works here at the park, she let me know about it on Friday, and I was so excited. I said, “I’m definitely gonna come and get my skate on!” This is actually my first time ice-skating. I’m here with my boyfriend and he’s gonna show me, ’cause he’s really good. I’ve heard. We’ll see, though. I’m skeptical. I would definitely recommend this to everyone. Everybody’s so nice, everyone’s smiling! If they were here, they’d see — everyone’s having a great time.

Now - April 15

GREAT E’S A V LENTIN! GIFT

THE CABARET AT THEATER SQUARE IS A PROJECT OF THE PITTSBURGH CULTURAL TRUST

CLOCabaret.com 412-456-6666

Groups 10+ 412-325-1582

B Y AMANI NE WTO N

C o h e n

a n d

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wednesday 02.15 STAGE Taj Express: The Bollywood Musical stops at the Byham Theater for one night only as part of its international tour. The original Indian stage musical was produced, directed and choreographed by Shruti and Vaibhavi Merchant, award-winning sisters who happen to be third-generation Bollywood film choreographers. Follow Vasu, a thief, on board the Taj Express as he works his way through oodles of song and dance sequences, fulfilling his destiny from Mumbai to Agra, home of the Taj Mahal. The show features music composed by A.R. Rahman, who ho won an Oscar for original song with 2008’s best picture Slumdog Millionaire. e. AN N 7:30 p.m. 101 Sixth St., Downtown. town. $37.50-57.50. 412-456-6666 56-6666 or www.trustArts.org

thursday 02.16 STAGE A Love Supreme takes kes its title from a touchstone one work by John Coltrane, but ut this “journey through love, ove, death and womanhood” ranges beyond even Coltrane’s ne’s fusion of bop and free jazz z into the realm of classical al music. Vocalist and composer ser Anqwenique Wingfield field celebrates the works ks of such unsung AfricannAmerican women composers omposers as Florence Price and d Dorothy Rudd Moore, adding g her own compositions. The evening, part of the New Hazlett zlett Theater’s CSA series,, includes video art by Julie Mallis. allis. BO 8 p.m. 6 Allegheny eny Square East, North Side. $25. 412-320-4610 or www. newhazletttheater.org org

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 2017 7:30PM

BYHAM THEATER TRUSTARTS.ORG BOX OFFICE AT THEATER SQUARE 412-456-6666 GROUPS 10+ TICKETS 412-471-6930

> Thu., Feb. 16: A Love Supreme {PHOTO COURTESY OF RENEE ROSENSTEEL}

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THE WAFFLE, FLAVORED WITH CHEDDAR AND CHIVE, WAS A STANDOUT

FRESH COFFEE {BY REBECCA ADDISON}

When the Pittsburgh Water & Sewer Authority issued a flush-and-boil advisory for tap water last week, Redhawk Coffee was one of many businesses forced to shut down. The pop-up coffee shop had just arrived in Oakland at the start of the year, and already it was faced with its first hurdle. But the temporary setback didn’t throw Redhawk off track too much. Husband-and-wife proprietors Mary Gonzales and Braden Walter used the time to get caught up on other tasks related to their venture. When the advisory was lifted two days later, by that afternoon, the coffee shop was open again. Redhawk started out as a coffee truck in 2016. In January, the couple moved into a location on Meyran Avenue, in Oakland. The original lease ran only through March, but Walter told City Paper that they now plan to remain open for a full year. “We offer a quality and knowledge of coffee that’s different from anywhere else in Oakland, and we’re not a chain,” says Walter. “I think people have been pretty excited by that.” Redhawk carries coffee from five different roasters, including Pittsburghbased Commonplace Roastery. The drinks menu is relatively simple, with items like double espresso, macchiato, cappuccino and latte. Since setting up at the Oakland location, Redhawk has also been partnering with local eateries like Baby Loves Tacos to offer lunchtime food options to customers. “People get sick of the same stuff every day, so we wanted to offer them something different,” says Walter. “Our customers have really been enjoying it.” RADDISON@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

120 Meyran Ave., Oakland. 412-708-4270

the

FEED

Warning: Tuesday is Valentine’s Day. If your love likes sweets, then spend wisely (and locally) on candy and pastries. But beyond the chocolateindustrial complex and overcrowded restaurants, consider the gift of a homecooked meal. Smart lovers will plan ahead, using the weekend to make a heat-and-eat meal like stew or chili. Make it fancy with garnishes and nice tableware.

{CP PHOTO BY JOHN COLOMBO}

3 Rivers Mac & Cheese with bacon

UPDATED CLASSICS {BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

EGEND ATTRIBUTES the sandwich

to the whim of John Montagu, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich in 18thcentury England. When the earl was too busy to consume a proper meal, he had a waiter hand him some salt beef between two slices of toasted bread. From this expedient beginning, the humble sandwich has entered the canon of handheld meals. Nearly all diners, pubs and casual restaurants offer a selection of hot and cold sandwiches, and a few, such as Stak Shak in Allison Park, specialize in them. Here, it’s all about the execution of mostly tried-and-true classics like the burger, the reuben and the BLT. The innovation is in the top-shelf ingredients and occasional modern, meaningful updates, such as pickled-ketchup aioli on the Colonel Klink (a.k.a.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.08/02.15.2017

reuben), and leeks and jalapeño cream on the hot turkey. Appetizers and a half-dozen “comfort dishes” round out the menu.

STAK SHAK 2684 Wildwood Road, Allison Park. 412-386-1021 HOURS: Mon.-Thu. 4-10 p.m.; Fri. 4 p.m.-midnight; Sat. 11 a.m.-midnight; Sun. 11 a.m.-9 p.m. PRICES: Starters and sandwiches $7-13; comfort dishes $17-25 LIQUOR: Full bar

CP APPROVED Located on a stretch of country road between Route 8 and North Park, Stak Shak occupies a small but rambling building nestled along a creek in the woods. A glassed-in rear dining room with a stone ﬁreplace, half hunting lodge and half solarium, must be

spectacular in the summer or in snow, but on a rainy winter night, we sat in the small dining room beside the cheerily-lit bar. Like the menu, the decor was simple but quirky: all gray and red, punctuated by a few prints and a big, cartoonish mural of the animals featured on the menu. Our first appetizer, a nacho-like potatochip bake, was topped with chewy bacon, tangy Vermont blue-cheese sauce and plentiful scallions: a perfect taste combo. The only downside was the chips themselves. Hand-cut to a thicker texture than bagged chips, these were a little pale and ranged from slightly soft to a bit tough. Only a handful caught that perfect crisp. “Bang bang” cauliflower — pankocoated and baked in sriracha aioli — had a nice crisp exterior, but the florets were only just cooked by frying, so that the inte-

rior was too firm to really contrast with the crust. But the sriracha aioli was flawless, flavorful with just a bit of kick, and expertly drizzled on top. Charred Brussels sprouts were also firmer than we like and lacked the crispy outer leaves their name suggested. But the size of the cut suited the sprouts, and their flavor profile was excellent, well balanced between salty and sweet, and boosted by big pieces of softened, tangy red onion and a fruity balsamic dressing. Meat patties are available in turkey, salmon, steak or crab. The first of these turned out to be inspired. Lean turkey burgers tend to be either dry and pebbly or loaded up with masking ingredients. But this one, served simply on a brioche bun, was flawlessly supple and tender. We thought we detected a panade, a bread-dairy mixture usually used to enrich meatballs, resulting in a tender, juicy burger that was also well seasoned with herbal notes. A traditional egg-dipped Monte Cristo has a layer of jam among the turkey, ham and Swiss cheese. Stak Shak enticed Angelique by skipping the jam, swapping out Swiss for Gouda, and adding only a slight sprinkling of powdered sugar on the fried surface of the Italian bread. Sweetness could be added back in, to taste, via the cup of maple syrup served on the side. This sandwich would make a stellar breakfast, though it tended toward heavy and soggy. Yet a third turkey sandwich, “Going Hot Turkey,” was a triumph, no less than the best turkey sandwich of Jason’s life. The shredded breast meat itself was fantastic enough to distinguish any sandwich, comparable in savor to pulled pork, yet it wasn’t the sole focus. Roasted tomatoes, tender sautéed leeks and jalapeño cream, all on a lightly grilled hoagie roll, amplified the flavor of this sandwich to pure deliciousness. Four boneless pieces of chicken breast, more substantial than tenders or fingers, were served atop a single Belgian waffle in our comfort dish of choice. The chicken had a golden-brown crust and juicy interior, but the waffle, flavored with cheddar and chive, was a standout: light and fluffy with savory flavors mingling with a faint sweetness and hints of malt, or perhaps buttermilk. Southern-style pan gravy had excellent chicken flavor but a strangely pudding-like texture. We finished with a chocolate-butterscotch brownie a la mode, the butterscotch coming in the form of golden crumbs sprinkled atop a tall, cakey brownie that was packed with chocolate flavor. It was an indulgent finish to a pretty great meal. Without gimmicks or pretension, Stak Shak delivers fantastic versions of food you already like. INFO@ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

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OAXACAN CUISINE

[PERSONAL CHEF]

MAC-ANDCHEESE FOR ONE

LIVE MUSIC LATIN GUITAR

Eating mac-and-cheese on a holiday made for lovers is like eating ice-cream cake after a funeral. At first, it’ll taste so good, you’ll forget how absolutely alone you feel. You’ll savor the flavors, audibly sighing at your ability to cook a basic, yet satisfying meal. This will counterbalance the dread you feel scrolling through the hellscape of social media, where all your friends in loving relationships are posting pics of fancy dinners and bouquets of roses (in case you forgot what it’s like to have a significant other who is willing to spend extra bucks in the dead of winter). After eating past the point of being full, you’ll start to feel just as bad about the amount of food consumed, as you do about the card hanging from your refrigerator signed in your own handwriting — “We love you like a bag of treats,” from your two cats. At this point, you should shove whatever gooey deliciousness is left on your plate into your mouth, and then crawl to your sofa to prepare for the impending food coma. INGREDIENTS • 1-pound box of macaroni • 1 cup of sliced cheddar cheese • 5 tbsp. butter, extra for pan ex • 5 tbsp. flour • ½ cup breadcrumbs • 2½ cups milk (warm) • assorted grape tomatoes (optional)

Open Valentine’s Night! 6-9 pm

LIVE MUSIC

Special menu available.

Diningg with a

1200 GRANDVIEW AVENUE • MT. WASHINGTON 412-381-1919 • VUE412.COM

NOW OPEN IN THE SOUTH SIDE

WE WANT YOUR PERSONAL RECIPES AND THE STORIES BEHIND THEM. EMAIL THEM TO CELINE@PGHCITYPAPER.COM.

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$50 PER COUPLE 5 Courses, Includes one cocktail or tequila shot each

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INSTRUCTIONS Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Coat large baking pan with butter. Follow directions on the box for the macaroni; set aside the cooked pasta. In a large saucepan, melt the butter. Slowly whisk in the flour and cook for 1-2 minutes. Slowly add in warm milk, while whisking the mixture until the consistency is smooth. Cook for 5-8 minutes, stirring frequently until sauce thickens. Remove pan from heat; add cheese slowly into the sauce and stir. Pour cheese mixture over cooked noodles and stir thoroughly. Smooth noodles into the baking dish and cover evenly with breadcrumbs. On a separate pan, spread out grape tomatoes. Bake both dishes for approximately 10-15 minutes; the cheese mixture should be bubbly and slightly crispy. Serve with roasted tomatoes.

Tin Angel

Friday, February 10th

{BY KELLY ANDREWS, GREENFIELD}

M A I N F E AT U R E

Formerly the

Bistro

Mention the Pittsburgh City Paper ad for 20% OFF all food orders. Not valid with any other offer.

Happy Hour: M-F 4-6PM

$5 MARTINIS $5 OFF SPECIALTY ROLLS 2017 E. CARSON ST. 412-251-0558 PUBLIC PARKING IN THE BACK.

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Korean BBQ Buffet FRIDAYS-SUNDAY 4-9PM • CHICKEN/ BEEF BULGOGI • • PORK, BEEF SHORT RIB • • SCALLOPS, SHRIMP •

COOKED AT YOUR OWN TABLE

EAT ME... NOW. AWARD WARD WI WINNING INNING NN SU SUSHI

Best 25 Restaurant Honoree in Pittsburgh

Sushi Kim

blogh.pghcitypaper.com

Clicking “reload” makes the workday go faster SHOT + BEER [ON THE ROCKS]

The boilermaker lives on {BY DREW CRANISKY}

Check us out at 1241 Penn Avenue Downtown / Strip 412-281-9956

DESPITE WHAT some local old-timers might preach from atop their barstools, Pittsburgh did not invent the boilermaker. In fact, it’s highly unlikely that the simple idea of pairing a spirit and a beer even originated in America. Scots have long enjoyed the hauf ’n’ hauf (a nip of whiskey chased by a half-pint of beer); Germans have the schnapps-andbeer marriage known as a Herrengedeck; yorsh is a Russian mixture of vodka and beer — the list goes on. Regardless of origins, Pittsburgh has long embraced its reputation as a “shot and a beer” town. Though scholars are uncertain where the name “boilermaker” originated, the drink is likely named for actual boilermakers (those who fabricate and repair boilers) and other blue-collar laborers who downed them in great quantities. Because in a hardworking, industrious town, after (or sometimes before) a backbreaking shift in the steel mill or coal mine, it’s hard to imagine a better salve than a bracing shot of whiskey and an ice-cold beer. When it comes to actually drinking the thing, there are a few different approaches. Some drop the shot (glass and all) into the beer, while others will shoot the liquor and chase with the beer. I prefer to sip on both, letting the sharp sting of alcohol linger on my tongue for a moment before washing it away with a slug of beer. Ultimately, the allure of the

boilermaker is much like that of a Reese’s Cup — there’s no wrong way. Here in Pittsburgh, the classic boilermaker is a shot of Imperial Whiskey paired with an Iron City: an “Imp ’n’ Ahrn.” If you want to jazz it up, however, plenty of local bars have gotten creative with their shot-and-beer specials. The menu at Ace Hotel’s bar features “A Bat and a Ball” section, with pairings like Tiger and tequila. Downtown’s new Pork & Beans offers boilermakers that unite high and low, like Wigle rye whiskey alongside good old Yuengling. And at Lawrenceville’s Goldmark, the drinks menu revolves around tiers of boilermakers that range from “Ballin’ on a Budget” (Hamm’s and Wild Turkey) to “That Sh*t Cray” (Victory Golden Monkey and Booker’s). Of course, the boilermaker hardly needs to be featured on a menu. Unlike fussy craft cocktails, boilermakers are widely available and ready at a moment’s notice. When pairing a beer and a spirit, take the same approach as a sommelier matching wine to food. For a congruous pairing, match a robust stout with a scotch that will echo the smoky notes in the beer. For a complementary pairing with the same stout, select a bright, spicy rye whiskey that will cut through the roastiness. Whether you slug something cheap or sip on a carefully considered pairing, to drink a boilermaker is to pay homage to Pittsburgh’s proud working-class history.

THERE’S NO WRONG WAY TO DRINK ONE.

I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.08/02.15.2017

BOOZE BATTLES {BY CELINE ROBERTS}

Each week, we order the same cocktail at two different bars for a friendly head-to-head battle. Go to the bars, taste both drinks and tell us what you like about each by tagging @pghcitypaper on Twitter or Instagram and use #CPBoozeBattles. If you want to be a part of Booze Battles, send an email to food-and-beverage writer Celine Roberts, at celine@pghcitypaper.com.

THE DRINK: GIN-FUELED UELED AVIATION

VS. r it a s n Beers a ic x e $1 off M eti zers $2 off app

$5 Ma rg a

Soba

5847 Ellsworth Ave., Shadyside DRINK: Aviation INGREDIENTS: Beefeater gin, maraschino liqueur, lemon, crème de violette, cherry OUR TAKE: This drink had an extremely clean flavor profile due to the Beefeater gin. The citrus popped throughout the duration of the drink and gave it a lightness that was a nice contrast to the crème de violette. The finish was balanced and refreshing, with the perk of a cherry at the end.

The FFoundry Th d

381 North Shore Drive, North Side www.elcampesinospgh.com

DRINK: Aviation INGREDIENTS: Bluecoat gin, maraschino liqueur, crème de violette, lemon, brandied cherry OUR TAKE: Piney and floral with just a hint of sweetness, this drink showcased the gin in a different way than most classic cocktails. The cocktail was slightly bitter, with tart citrus highlights. Although this drink offered a parade of flavors, the nose and finish were both mild and booze-forward.

This week on Five Minutes in Food History: We explore bitters with Wigle Whiskey’s Jill Steiner. www.pghcitypaper.com

One Bordeaux, One Scotch, One Beer N39 Chambourcin, Merlot & Cab Franc blend, Knob Hall Winery $7/ glass, $24/750 ml bottle

“ a really deep, dark, inky wine with cracked-black-pepper flavors. It’s “It’s good for smoked gouda, steak salads, Italian food and anything with red g ssauce. For [winter] weather, it’s great for sitting by the fire and drinking.” — RECOMMENDED BY NOVA BRACEY, BARTENDER AT KNOB HALL WINERY

N39 is available at Knob Hall Winery, in Shadyside.

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SHORT STUFF {BY AL HOFF}

THE TROUBLES IN THE BESIEGED SYRIAN CITY OF ALEPPO ARE THE FOCUS OF TWO FILMS

This year’s Academy Award nominees for Best Short Live-Action Film comprise a 130-minute program, with material ranging from the comic to the political. Sélim Azzazi’s “Ennemis Interieur” (France, 28 min.) is a two-hander in which a man is applying for French citizenship. He was born in French Algeria, and has lived most of his life in France. But he is a “foreigner” and a Muslim, and thus his loyalty to France is suspect. “Show me that you belong here,” says his police interrogator. In response, the man makes various moral and practical arguments to establish his bona fides. The film is set in France in the 1990s, but its setup and theme seem ripped from last month’s headlines.

Silent Nights

An immigrant from Ghana struggling to find work in Copenhagen in “Silent Nights” (Denmark, 30 min.) strikes up a romantic relationship with a lonely woman who works at a homeless shelter. Directors Aske Bang and Kim Magnusson combine melodrama with contemporary issues (immigration, racism, elder care) and a tribute to the general goodness of people. The indefatigable human spirit fuels “La Femme et le TGV” (Switzerland, 30 min.), in which an elderly woman waves a flag every morning at the train that passes her cottage. It leads to a letter-writing relationship with the train’s engineer, and awakens the woman’s feisty spirit. Timo von Gunten and Giacun Caduff’s short, set in a pretty Swiss village, offers plenty of whimsical charm. In Kristof Deák and Anna Udvardy’s “Sing” (Hungary, 25 min.), it’s up to the children of an award-winning school choir to sort out what to do about a corrupt system. The fraud comes to light when a new girl joins the choir. Based on a true story, it’s a useful parable about speaking up and the power of organized protest. Juanjo Giménez’s “Timecode” (Spain, 15 min.) follows two parking-garage security guards, Luna and Diego. One works the night shift, the other the day shift. Luna reviews surveillance footage after a car taillight is broken, and from this mundane act, the two develop a unique way of beating the job’s boredom and communicating with each other. A delightful story of human connection set in a very nice parking garage. In various languages with subtitles. Starts Fri., Feb. 10. Regent Square

Clockwise from upper left: “4.1 Miles,” “The White Helmets,” “Extremis” and “Joe’s Violin”

REAL LIVES {BY AL HOFF}

EGINNING Fri., Feb. 10, Pittsburgh Filmmakers presents three programs of Oscar-nominated short films. The Live Action shorts are reviewed to the left, and the Animated shorts on the following page; those programs begin Fri., Feb. 10, at Regent Square. Also opening are the Oscar-nominated Documentary Shorts in a 154-minute program. These short documentaries often cover tough topics; 2016 was a year of serious issues, and this year is no exception. But despite the tragedy and sadness these films depict, the filmmakers do seek out the affirmation of humanity. Three of five films highlight the plight of refugees, and serve as a useful reality check beyond the inflammatory news headlines. Daphne Matziaraki’s harrowing “4.1 Miles” (USA/Greece, 26 min.) may be the toughest to sit through. The title refers to the distance across the Aegean Sea from Turkey to the Greek island of Lesbos; it is a stretch of water that hundreds of thousands of refugees now cross, often in flimsy boats. On one day, Matziaraki travels out with a Greek Coast Guard boat, as the overwhelmed crew struggle to pull hysterical women and children from the choppy waters; some don’t make it, and Matziaraki puts viewers inches from these tragedies. Later, we stand with tourists in the picturesque harbor, as drenched bodies, alive

AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.08/02.15.2017

and dead, are hastily piled up on the dock. The non-stop horror of it — even the rescued face uncertain fates — weighs heavily on the Coast Guard crew, yet they persevere. The troubles in the besieged Syrian city of Aleppo are the focus of two other docs. “The White Helmets” (USA, 41 min.), directed by Orlando von Einsiedel and Joanna Natasegara, profiles the men who rush to bombed structures, hoping to rescue people from the rubble. They have matching jackets and white helmets, but

OSCAR-NOMINATED DOCUMENTARY SHORTS In English, and various languages, with subtitles Starts Fri., Feb. 10. Melwood

CP APPROVED little else in the way of search-and-rescue equipment. The film follows them to Turkey, for a month-long training session, but even this break is shattered by devastating news from home. Still, their reward is saving people, including a tiny baby whom they re-encounter as a toddler. In “Watani: My Homeland” (U.K., 39 min.), from Marcel Mettelsiefen and Stephen Ellis, a family endures in battle-torn Aleppo. But after

the father is kidnapped by ISIS, the mother and four children find life increasingly fraught. (Says one child: “There’s no need to be scared of anything because there is nothing left of our lives.”) But in 2015, they are lucky enough to make it to Turkey, and then to a refugee-relocation program in Germany. Life there is immeasurably better, but the sense of loss and dislocation still hangs heavy. Dan Krauss’ “Extremis” (USA, 24 min.) takes viewers to a public hospital where teams of doctors work with families to make the difficult decision whether to prolong patient care through life-supporting machines, or not. It’s an academic decision, of course — unless it is your parent. And finally, a film whose tale has roots in tragedy but which ends in a happy place — “Joe’s Violin” (USA, 24 min.), from Kahane Cooperman and Raphaela Neihausen. Holocaust survivor Joe Feingold bought a violin after the war and brought it with him when he immigrated to the United States. Now 91, he donated the violin to a program that matches unused instruments with school students; his violin ends up with a girl in the South Bronx. Feingold is lucky enough to be present for handing off to a new generation, not just the violin, but a passion for music and the beauty it brings to life. A HOF F @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

REPERTORY

FILM CAPSULES CP

AMADEUS. Milos Forman directs this 1984 bio-pic that tells the story of 17th-century musical prodigy Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (Tom Hulce), as recounted by his rival Antonio Salieri (F. Murray Abraham), now held in an insane asylum. To be followed by a discussion with pianist and historian Tom Roberts. 7 p.m. Thu., Feb. 9. Melwood

= CITY PAPER APPROVED

NEW JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 2. After avenging his dog’s death in the 2014 film, John Wick (Keanu Reeves) now finds he’s the target of a large bounty. Chad Stahelski directs. Starts Fri., Feb. 10

SABRINA. In this 1954 romantic comedy from Billy Wilder, Audrey Hepburn, the daughter of a chauffeur, juggles the affections of two brothers — the charming David (William Holden) and the more aloof Linus (Humphrey Bogart). Feb. 10-15 (Row House Cinema) and 11 a.m. Feb. 12 (Hollywood)

FIFTY SHADES DARKER. Things getting increasingly complicated (and supposedly sexier) in the relationship between Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) and Christian (Jamie Dornan) in this adaptation of E.L. James’ erotic novel. James Foley directs. Starts Fri., Feb. 10 JULIETA. A stylish middle-aged woman is leaving Madrid to relocate to Portugal. Then Julieta (Emma Suarez) runs into an old acquiantance who speaks of having seen Julieta’s daughter and her children recently. Clearly rattled, Julieta cancels her move; she pens a letter to her estranged daughter, explaining that now she can tell the full story. The letter prompts flashbacks, as well as establishing Julieta’s central mystery: What happened long ago that caused a rift between mother and daughter? Back in the 1980s, we meet the younger Julieta (Adriana Ugarte), traveling on a train. She meets a handsome young fisherman named Xoan (Daniel Grao), and they begin a relationship. And so the film moves back and forth, filling in the years in which Julieta’s daughter grew up, and the present, where the older woman struggles to understand that time. Pedro Almodóvar’s latest film is a relatively straightforward affair for the Spanish director more often noted for his flamboyant visual style and his playful reworking of genres. Julieta, adapted from three short Alice Munro stories, recalls classic Hollywood “women’s pictures,” melodramas in which the role of women was informed and undone by domestic crises. What happened to Julieta is a mystery to us, but her search for answers is more existential: Where did she (possibly) go wrong balancing work, motherhood and self? This film is fairly reserved, and not leavened by much humor. Its examination of a woman reconciling the joys, pains, regrets and fears of her life resolves in a manner that is satisfying to the narrative, but which viewers might feel lacks an emotional catharsis. In Spanish, with subtitles. Starts Fri., Feb. 10. AMC Loews Waterfront and Manor (Al Hoff) THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE. The LEGO Movie was a delightful surprise, an original story that found a lot of organic humor in the very essence of those tiny toy blocks we all thought we knew. Alas, this follow-up, directed by Chris McKay, is something of a bust. It’s enjoyable enough for a rainy afternoon, but make no mistake: It’s trying awfully hard to be edgy while doubling down on some of Hollywood’s most common tropes. It’s a movie about superheroes (Batman and many more), not Legos. While ostensibly everything in the film is constructed from LEGOs, it looks a lot like any other digitally animated action film; it is noticeably less … LEGO-y. The film is presented as a parody of superhero movies that plays out a lot like an actioner — so many frantic chase scenes! (This film opens with a send-up of Deadpool, itself a send-up, which is an early indicator of the lack of fresh ideas.) There is hugging. And like so many other animated comedies, LEGO Batman can’t decide if it’s for the kids or adults. In the end, it delivered more jokes to adults

NEWS

THE LOBSTER. Colin Farrell and Rachel Weisz star in Yorgos Lanthimos’ dark comedy from last year about a resort in a dystopian future that forces singles to pair up. Feb. 10-15. Row House Cinema The Lego Batman Movie

WHEN HARRY MET SALLY. Rob Reiner’s 1989 film starring Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal as soulmates who don’t quite connect (yet) is the rare romantic comedy that (1) works; and (2) was arguably elevated to neo-classic status by one deadpan line uttered by the director’s mother. Feb. 10-12, Feb. 14 and Feb. 16. Row House Cinema WHO’S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF? Adapted from Edward Albee’s play by Mike Nichols, 1966’s Woolf offers a frank, and at times brutal, depiction of a troubled marriage. Richard Burton is a boozy professor, Elizabeth Taylor his haranguing wife. Feb. 10-13 and Feb. 15-16. Row House Cinema

“Blind Vaysha” from Oscar-Nominated Animated Shorts

Julieta

(especially those old enough to remember the 1980s). The film also makes a joke about how many Batman movies already exist, and now here’s another, made from plastic, to add to that sagging pile. In 3-D, in select theaters. Starts Fri., Feb. 10 (AH)

born and raised in secret in a Martian research facility, comes to Earth as a teenager. He meets his internet pen pal, a street-smart teenage girl named Tulsa (Britt Robertson), and the two of them steal a car and drive to California. They learn about life, love, family and in Gardner’s case, hamburgers. The film also offers a number of side plots — some melodramatic, some metabolic — featuring BD Wong, Gary Oldman and Carla Gugino. The main plot is insanely preposterous, but it might have worked if the story had taken a more focused and bittersweet bent. It must be lonely being the only boy on Mars, and a trip to Earth — where literally every other human lives — must be more meaningful and upsetting than this mish-mash suggests. (AH)

OSCAR-NOMINATED ANIMATED SHORTS. Four quite short animated films (less than 10 minutes each) and one 35-minute work make up this year’s batch of nominees. (The screening program also includes a couple of extra films.) Folks might have already seen the Pixar short “Piper,” about the young sandpiper, but it’s just as charming the second time around. “Pearl” is also about growing up, as the relationship between a single dad and his rebellious daughter is charted over time, using shared touchstones of a love of music and a beat-up old car. The remaining shorts are a bit darker. “Blind Vaysha” uses a carved-wood-block style to tell of a girl cursed with malfunctioning eyes (one see the past, the other the future), and “Borrowed Time” is a digitally animated tale about an Old West sheriff revisiting a tragic moment in life. At more than 30 minutes, “Pear Cider and Cigarettes” is like a novella. It’s a compelling story of one man’s friendship with a troubled soul — “To befriend Techno was to board a thrill ride of some sort” — and the twisty, rocky life his pal led. Director Robert Valley employs a graphicnovel aesthetic, both in the film’s look and its darkly humored first-person narration. It’s a contemporary noir, and a bittersweet elegy to those friends who never stop confounding and delighting us. A note: Unlike other years, this program is not wholly familyfriendly. Starts Fri., Feb. 10. Regent Square (AH) THE SPACE BETWEEN US. An interesting premise can’t pick a lane in Peter Chelsom’s coming-of-age, sci-fi, mystery rom com. Gardner (Asa Butterfield),

M A I N F E AT U R E

MUSIC

ARTS

FILM KITCHEN. This month, the series detours from featuring local artists to screen Don’t Let the Devil In, a new feature-length horror film by nationally known micro-budget filmmaker Courtney Fathom Sell. In the wake of a miscarriage, a Manhattan businessman and his wife move to rural Maryland, where he’ll oversee construction of a casino. But the locals’ hatred for him and his mission quickly proves to have destructive and, eventually, satanic overtones: Think Rosemary’s Baby meets The Blair Witch Project, with some David Lynch blended in. While the film’s title is perfectly sound advice, this one might appeal most to genre junkies. Still, Sell has a real gift for atmosphere and, especially, for casting interesting faces in what seems to be a largely nonprofessional cast. Nor is he afraid of nonlinear editing or yawning plot ellipses, both of which can frustrate even as they add interest. Sell will attend the Feb. 14 screening, which opens with two locally made shorts: “Delivering Justice,” Brad Sydorick’s amusing detective-movie spoof about a pizza deliveryman tracking down his missing $95.50; and Dustin Stumpy’s moody journal film “December 26th.” 8 p.m. Tue., Feb. 14 (7 p.m. reception). Melwood. $5. www.pfpca.org DIRTY DANCING. The much-loved 1987 romance from Emile Ardolino is back on the big screen, for one night. Swoon anew as Baby (Jennifer Grey) learns about dance, love and heartbreak from local dirty-boogier Johnny Castle (Patrick Swayze) while vacationing in the Catskills. You just might have … the time of your life. 7:30 p.m. Wed., Feb. 15. AMC Loews. $5

ONGOING NERUDA. After a recent foray into American history (Jackie), Chilean director Pablo Larrain returns to his wheelhouse — the messy politics and culture of his homeland. His latest work is a fictionalized biopic depicting the travails of Pablo Neruda (Luis Gnecco) when, in 1948, the Communist politician and revered poet went on the run from the government. In pursuit is the cartoonishly serious policeman Oscar Peluchonneau (Gael Garcia Bernal), who trails closely enough that Neruda taunts him. Each man takes turns delivering voiceovers, explaining himself, and the meaning of the two lives finally intertwine in an almost-fantastical closing sequence. Larrain’s film is hardly a straightforward biography — the more you know about Neruda and Chilean politics, the better off you will be. But it is marvelously acted and mostly entertaining, if you don’t mind a film that frequently criss-crosses lanes between historical, satirical and a bit self-consciously self-important. In Spanish, with subtitles. Harris; starts Fri., Feb. 10, at Hollywood (AH)

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DREAMCATCHER. Kim Longinotto’s forthright documentary profiles Chicagoan Brenda Myers-Powell, a former prostitute who now works tirelessly to convince other women to come off the streets. She also works with at-risk teenage girls, who feel they have few or no other options than to resort to prostitution. The life stories, which illuminate generational cycles of poverty, domestic violence and sexual abuse, are heartbreaking, but Myers-Powell stands unbowed, a sturdy shoulder to cry on and a mentor who says, “I’ve been there.” The film screens as part of an ongoing series of social-justice films. 6:30 p.m. Thu., Feb. 16. Eddy Theater, Chatham campus, Shadyside. Free. www.justfilmspgh.org

SPORTS

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A TRUE FIGHTER KNOWS IT’S THE GETTING UP THAT REALLY COUNTS

SPORTS BRIEFS Riverhounds announce home start times Well, the Pittsburgh Steelers didn’t make it to the big game in American football, but perhaps the Pittsburgh Riverhounds will fare better at the game recognized as football by the rest of the world when they kick off their 2017 campaign at home on March 25. The Riverhounds, who compete in the United Soccer League, will play 31 games between March and October, and they’ll open and close the season with home games. The opener will be held at 5 p.m. on March 25 at Highmark Stadium, against New York. A week later, the ’Hounds face Cincinnati, at 5 p.m. on April 1. All other home games start at 7 p.m. One highlight of the season will be the Keystone Derby Cup, which kicks off in Pittsburgh on April 29. The competition, a three-game set between the Riverhounds and the Harrisburg City Islanders, is in its third year. The final two games will be held in Harrisburg on May 24 and Aug. 12. The team will also play four preseason games locally starting Feb. 25. More info is at www.riverhounds.com.

Kurt Angle to be inducted into WWE Hall of Fame In late January, World Wrestling Entertainment announced that Pittsburgh’s Kurt Angle would enter the company’s Hall of Fame during a March 31 ceremony in Orlando during WrestleMania weekend. Angle was a colorful character during his time as a professional wrestler, but most people here know him as the 1996 Olympic Gold Medalist in freestyle wrestling. From there, he began his career locally as a failed sportscaster. (Really, did anyone think it would go well?) He signed with WWE in 2000 and became a nearly instant superstar as one of the company’s best heels. A couple of weeks ago, Angle also launched a new app called AngleStrong, designed to help addicts be accountable once they leave rehab by requiring daily checkins and providing meeting reminders. Angle became addicted to painkillers during his time in WWE and has been sober the past four years. More info is at www.anglestrong.com.

GOT A TIP? Know of a local sport that isn’t getting the attention it deserves? Did a local athlete just do something incredible that warrants recognition? City Paper Sports want to hear about it: info@pghcitypaper.com

{PHOTO COURTESY OF RYAN GREENE/PREMIER BOXING CHAMPIONS}

Monessen’s Sammy Vasquez, left, takes on Luis Collazo Feb. 2 in Tunica, Miss.

GETTING UP {BY CHARLIE DEITCH}

’VE COVERED a lot of boxing since I started working as a journalist in 1992. I’ve covered kids in headgear ﬁghting for pride in Golden Glove competitions. I’ve covered world champions like Roberto Duran and Tommy Morrison. And, mostly, I’ve covered potential world champions coming out of Western Pennsylvania. That list includes names like Paul Spadafora, Monty Meza-Clay, Verquan Kimbrough, Ed Latimore and Sammy Vasquez. But except for Spadafora, none has ever reached that plateau. (And Spadafora, although he was world champ, saw that feat eclipsed by his out-ofthe-ring bad behavior.) Of those names, though, the one that I always felt would put Pittsburgh boxing back on the map was Sammy Vasquez. City Paper profiled Monessen’s Vasquez almost two years ago, after he signed with Mike Tyson’s Iron Mike Promotions. Vasquez, a 27-year-old, left-

handed welterweight, had by then stacked up 13 straight victories without a loss. And he continued to win, amassing a record of 21-0. But last July, Vasquez lost by unanimous decision to Felix Diaz, a late substitute for his scheduled opponent, Luis Collazo. On Feb. 2, in Tunica, Miss., Vasquez finally got his shot at Collazo, a former welterweight champ. The fight was pretty tight until, in the sixth round, Collazo hit Vasquez with a short right hook to the jaw. It was one of the purest one-punch knockouts I’ve ever seen. For a lot of fighters, two straight losses might put them on a fast track into a downhill slide. Some fighters live and die by what they do in the ring; they see a loss as the end of the world. But I don’t think that’s the case with Vasquez, a U.S. Army veteran who did two tours in Iraq. He saw a lot of dangerous situations. He knows what a life-or-death fight is. “May-

be we get a black eye or a busted nose, but at the end of the night we’re both going home,” Vasquez told CP in 2014. Based on his comments after last week’s loss, it seems that perspective is still intact. “He just caught me with a really great shot at the right time. I knew his big punch was the right hook. I was working on keeping my hand up to block it. I dropped it at the wrong time and he got me,” Vasquez told Boxingscene.com. “Obviously this is going to set me back. I need to come back stronger.” That’s why I still think Sammy Vasquez will get a title fight. Minutes after a tough loss, he’s extremely rational. He didn’t blame anyone but himself for the loss, and he knows that a loss or even two straight losses doesn’t mean your life is over. Sammy Vasquez isn’t just a boxer; he’s a fighter. A fighter doesn’t worry about being knocked down; they know it’s the getting up that really counts. C D E I T C H @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.08/02.15.2017

[THE CHEAP SEATS]

SMALL BUT MIGHTY

{BY MIKE WYSOCKI}

HERE’S A little-known fact: If you rounded up all the legal citizens of Armstrong County, they would fit into Heinz Field. For a county that still has a drive-in movie theater and a museum dedicated to the ancient radio, every day is Throwback Thursday. There is neither hustle nor bustle in the sleepy towns of Ford City, Kittanning and Apollo. The town of Parker has the odd claim of “smallest city in the U.S.A.” But like its surrounding neighbors, Armstrong County has made some pretty good contributions to the world of sports. The cousins Frerotte and brothers Christy are two good examples. The late Mitch Frerotte went from Kittanning to Penn State to three Super Bowls with the Buffalo Bills. In 1992, Mitch scored three touchdowns in one season. Maybe that doesn’t sound impressive at first, but it’s considerably more remarkable considering he was an offensive lineman. His cousin Gus grew up in Ford City and cashed an NFL check every year from 1994-2008. The much-under-appreciated Frerotte played in the Pro Bowl in 1996 and once threw a 99-yard touchdown pass. But he’s probably best known for spraining his neck by ramming his head into a cement wall as a touchdown celebration. In his defense, it was part of an exciting 7-7 tie with the New York Giants. But he was a serviceable backup, and he threw more touchdowns (114) than picks (106) in his professional career. Not even Beaver County native and Pro Football Hall of Famer Joe Namath can say that. Jeff Christy, from Freeport Senior High School, was a fourth-round pick for the Arizona Cardinals after his time at Pitt. Christy went out on top as a Super Bowl champion in 2002 with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. A respectable career with mostly the Minnesota Vikings was eclipsed only by his high school accomplishments. At Freeport, Christy rushed for almost 3,000 yards, made more than 300 tackles and set nine school records. Good enough to be the first football player from Freeport Senior High to have his jersey retired. His older brother, Greg, blocked for Dan Marino at Pitt, and then played for Buffalo in the NFL. His career was cut short with an injury, but he played on one of the best offensive lines

{CP FILE PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL}

Mike Wysocki

ever assembled with the Panthers. The tiny hamlet of Yatesboro gave us College Football Hall of Famer Bob Pellegrini, who was a standout center and linebacker for the Maryland Terrapins in the 1950s. He went on to play professionally with Washington and Philadelphia. Plus, former Steeler Eric Ravotti, of Freeport High and Penn State, played three seasons under Bill Cowher from 1994-1996. Armstrong County’s most famous baseball player is Mickey Morandini. You might remember him from his unassisted triple play at Three Rivers Stadium. Morandini, of the Philadelphia Phillies, snagged a liner of the bat of Jeff King, stepped on second to get Andy Van Slyke, then tagged out regular-sized-head Barry Bonds for the trifecta. Three outs while barely moving. It was the ﬁrst no-help triple play in the National League since 1928. Morandini was a solid defensive second baseman and even played in the World Series in 1993, losing to Toronto. Red Mihalik, from Ford City, is a member of the Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame. He played professionally with the Pittsburgh Ironmen and Youngstown Bears in leagues that were forerunners of the NBA. He’s not in the Hall as a player, but as a referee. Mihalik was considered the best by his peers and the media, and that was back before fake news and alternative facts. You might not think of Armstrong County as a hotbed for NASCAR drivers, because it’s not. But Ryan Hemphill, from Apollo, had his time in the big leagues. Hemphill was dropped from Chip Ganassi’s racing team after a lackluster year, but still had the proverbial “cup of coffee” in the bigs. The county’s most famous native has no sports connection, but she must be

mentioned. National Women’s Hall of Fame inductee Nellie Bly is from Cochran’s Mills. Her investigative reporting in the late 19th century exposed the inhumane treatment of asylum patients, and she even traveled the world in 72 days. Only four journalists in history have a USPS stamp, and Nellie is one of them. The entire population of Armstrong County is less than that of Murfreesboro, Tenn., or Edmond, Okla. But they don’t have a Nellie Bly; they probably don’t have drive-in movie theaters; and, of course, there can only be one Mickey Morandini.

@PGHCityPaper

INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

YOU MIGHT NOT THINK OF ARMSTRONG COUNTY AS A HOTBED FOR NASCAR DRIVERS, BECAUSE IT’S NOT.

M I K E W YS O C KI IS A STA NDUP CO MED I AN. FO LLO W HI M O N TWI TTER: @IT SMIK E WYSO C K I

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HELP WANTED AUDIT SPECIALIST Bayer U.S. LLC’s Corporate Auditing department in Pittsburgh, PA, seeks an Audit Specialist to plan, perform, & supervise financial & operational reviews, reporting on adherence to internal controls, corporate policies & sound business practices. Apply at https://career.bayer.us.

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HM Health Solutions Inc. seeks Team Manager, IT to work in Pittsburgh, PA & to manage activities of various IT personnel. Must have Master’s or foreign equiv. in Comp. Sci., Info. Sci., or dir. related field + 2 yrs of exp. in related position. Alt. req’t: bachelor’s or foreign equiv. in Comp. Sci., Info. Sci., or dir. related field + 5 yrs of post-bacc., prgrssvly rspnsbl exp. in related position. Must know (from any comp’d university-lvl crswrk, seminars, wrkshps, or real-world, hands-on exp.): Oracle; J2EE; Cognos; Mainframes; Teradata; & Microsoft Project. Apply at www.highmarkhealth.org, keyword J102254.

HM Health Solutions Inc. seeks Sr. Consultant in Pittsburgh, PA to contribute to delivery & execution of complex, large-scale, multiyear client enterprise transformation prgrms. Must have bachelor’s or foreign equiv. in Bus. Admin., Mgmt Info. Sci., Health Admin., or rltd field + 5 yrs of postbacc., prgrssvly rspnsbl exp. in rltd position. Exp. must incl. 3 yrs of exp. w/: healthcare or insurance industry; technology platform delivery; & prgrm/ project mgmt. Exp. must incl.: technical & functional bus. req’ts; working w/ in large multi-state health plans; bus. process improvement & design; sales/RFP & product solutioning; provider sys. strategy; developing provider payment reimbursement strategy; & supporting payer/provider collab. (Integrated Delivery Network). Must be willing & able to travel to client locations up to 80%. Apply at www.highmarkhealth. org, keyword J102047.

HM Health Solutions Inc. seeks Application Developer to work in Pittsburgh, PA & to be responsible for analyzing, designing, coding, testing, & implementing app enhancements w/no supervision. Must have Master’s or foreign equiv. in Comp. Sci., Info. Sci., Math, Stats, Economics, Engnrng, Operations Research, or related field + 2 yrs of exp. in related position. Alt. req’t: bachelor’s or foreign equiv. in Comp. Sci., Info. Sci., Math, Stats, Economics, Engnrng, Operations Research, or related field + 5 yrs of post-bacc. & prgrssvly rspnsbl exp. in related position. Must know (from any comp’d university-lvl crswrk, seminars, wrkshps, or real-world, hands-on exp.): Java; J2EE; JPA; Spring Framework; Agile; & Oracle Database. Apply at www.highmarkhealth.org, keyword J101996.

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HM Health Solutions Inc. seeks Team Manager, IT to work in Pittsburgh, PA & to mng. activities of various IT personnel. Must have Master’s or foreign equiv. in Comp.Sci., Info Sci., or rltd. field + 2 yrs exp. in rltd position. Alt. req’t: bachelor’s or foreign equiv. in Comp. Sci., Info. Sci., or directly rltd field + 5 yrs. post-bacc., prgrssvly resp. exp. in rltd. position. Must know (from any comp’d university-lvl coursework, seminars, wrkshps, or real-world, hands-on exp.): J2EE; SQL & Databases; HTML5; Service Oriented Architecture (SOA); Broadvision; & Teamsite. Apply at www.highmarkhealth.org, keyword J101797.

HM Health Solutions Inc. seeks Manager, Business Platform to work in Pittsburgh, PA & to be responsible for planning, managing, & overseeing implementation of strategic bus. & functional infrastructure of underlying systems that support respective bus. platforms for all health insurance products, prgrms, ancillary services, & markets served by Highmark. Must have Master’s or foreign equiv. in Info. Sys., Comp. Sci., Engnrng, or related field + 2 yrs of exp. in related position. Alt. req’t: bachelor’s or foreign equiv. in Info. Sys., Comp. Sci., Engnrng, or related field + 5 yrs of post-bacc. & prgrssvly rspnsbl exp. in related position. Req’d exp. must incl. at least 1 yr of mgmt consulting. Must know (from any comp’d university-lvl crswrk, seminars, wrkshps, or real-world, hands-on exp.): Java; Oracle; Six Sigma; & Agile. Apply at www.highmarkhealth.org, keyword J102107.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.08/02.15.2017

HELP WANTED BUSINESS TECHNICAL ANALYST CONSULTANT

Highmark Inc. seeks Business Technical Analyst Consultant to work in Pittsburgh, PA & to provide expert data analysis re: complex data processes, bus. processes, & interfaces to support various platform & business areas. Must have high school diploma & 5 yrs of exp. in related position. Must know (from any comp’d university-lvl crswrk, seminars, wrkshps, or real-world, hands-on exp.): Pega systems; Agile; MS Office; & IBM Rational sftwr. Apply at www.highmarkhealth.org, keyword J102045.

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Vesuvius USA Corporation is seeking a Principal Scientist II to work in its office in Pittsburgh, PA Responsible for planning and conducting R&D work in the areas of ceramics, fused silica, rheology, refractories, and geopolymers. The position requires, at a minimum, a Ph.D. in Materials Science, Metallurgical Engineering, or a closelyrelated field, and three years’ experience in the job offered or a related occupation. The position also requires three years’ experience with high temperature materials development and characterization; three years’ experience with castable systems, including carbon based additions; knowledge of inorganic binders including geopolymer systems; knowledge of ceramic slip or slurry rheological characterization and control; knowledge of gunning and shotcreting applications for steel vessels; and knowledge of furnace reline materials and techniques. This knowledge and experience may have been gained through employment or academic coursework and/or research studies. Applicants must also be willing to travel both domestically and internationally up to 20% of the work schedule. Interested applicants should e-mail their resumes to Tricia Ketterer, Senior Regional HR Manager NAFTA, at tricia.ketterer@us.vesuvius.com and reference “Principal Scientist II” in the subject line.

Job Fair - Come work with us! Familylinks is hiring direct care Teacher/ Counselors at our residential facilities in Plum, Verona, Uptown, McKeesport and Wilkinsburg. Opportunities include working with males and females between the ages of 12 and 21 years old with a mental health diagnosis. Hourly rates from $10.20 to $15.00 per hour based on location, having a degree and experience. Applicants must be 21 years old, have a valid driver’s license and access to transportation to and from the job site. A bachelor’s degree is preferred. Act 33, 34 and FBI clearances are required upon hire and applicants will be required to have a pre-employment drug screen and physical exam. If you’re looking for an opportunity at a nonprofit that helps families across western Pennsylvania, Familylinks is the place for you!

IN PERSON INTERVIEWS: WHEN: Friday February 10, 2017 - 9a.m. to 5p.m. WHERE: 401 North Highland Avenue, Pittsburgh, PA 15206

(across from Home Depot in East Liberty)

FOR MORE INFORMATION: Call 412-661-9750

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THE BOARD OF PUBLIC EDUCATION OF THE SCHOOL DISTRICT OF PITTSBURGH Sealed proposals shall be deposited at the Administration Building, Room 251, 341 South Bellefield Avenue, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15213, on February 14, 2017, until 2:00 P.M., local prevailing time for the following:

Vesuvius USA Corporation is seeking a Senior Development Engineer to work in its office in Pittsburgh, PA

Pittsburgh Carrick H. S. Roof Replacement General and Plumbing Primes

Responsible for developing new Slide Gate products for the global market, including product design and characterization. The position requires, at a minimum, a Bachelor’s degree in Materials Science, Materials Engineering, Mechanical Engineering, or a closely-related field and five years’ progressive, post-baccalaureate experience in the job offered or a related occupation. The position also requires five years’ Slide Gate Refractory and/or Purging Systems applications experience; knowledge of Slide Gate Refractory and Purging Systems applications, products, and technology; a strong understanding of liquid steel process technology and steel-refractory interaction; and knowledge of refractory processing and assembly techniques and issues. Applicants must also be willing to travel domestically and internationally up to 30% of the work schedule. Interested applicants should e-mail their resumes to Tricia Ketterer, Senior Regional HR Manager NAFTA, at tricia.ketterer@us.vesuvius.com and reference “Senior Development Engineer” in the subject line.

Pittsburgh Woolslair K-5 and Cupples Stadium Various Asphalt and Concrete Repairs General Prime Pittsburgh King PreK-8 and Pittsburgh Lincoln K-5 Various Asphalt and Concrete Projects General Prime Project Manual and Drawings will be available for purchase on January 23, 2017 at Modern Reproductions (412-488-7700), 127 McKean Street, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15219 between 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. The cost of the Project Manual Documents is non-refundable. Project details and dates are described in each project manual. We are an equal rights and opportunity school district. Parent Hotline: 412-622-7920 www.pps.k12.pa.us

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THE BOARD OF PUBLIC EDUCATION OF THE SCHOOL DISTRICT OF PITTSBURGH Sealed proposals shall be deposited at the Administration Building, Room 251, 341 South Bellefield Avenue, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15213, on March 7, 2017, until 2:00 P.M., local prevailing time for the following:

Pittsburgh Obama 6-12 Science Labs & ADA Restroom Renovations General, Plumbing, Mechanical, Electrical and Asbestos Primes Pittsburgh Obama 6-12 ADA Stage Lift General Prime Pittsburgh Greenfield PreK-8 Replace PA/Sound Systems / Emergency Generator Electrical Prime Project Manual and Drawings will be available for purchase on February 6, 2017 at Modern Reproductions (412-488-7700), 127 McKean Street, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15219 between 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. The cost of the Project Manual Documents is non-refundable. Project details and dates are described in each project manual. We are an equal rights and opportunity school district. Parent Hotline: 412-622-7920 www.pps.k12.pa.us NEWS

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ACROSS

1. Problem 6. Where Margaret Mead studied 11. Story line shape 14. Font measurements 15. Monkey’s uncle? 16. Money amt. needed to be in the three-comma club 17. Terrible guitarist? 19. The “Man” in the headline at 55-Across 20. Crumbly cookie 21. Esthetician Lauder 23. Problem where a piano has 88 middle Cs? 27. Scaly squeezers 29. Cheer for Atletico 30. “That makes sense” 31. Ingredient in some breakfast cereals 32. Swindler’s ruse 36. Drummer’s kit ruined postavalanche? 41. Navy : Seabees :: Air Force : ___ 42. Viscous ooze 43. Dear columnist? 46. Peaceful feeling 47. Morlocks meal 48. Problem for a horn player who uses a slide? 53. Top-most section of an application 54. Little brat 55. “___ Man Yells

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.08/02.15.2017

At Cloud” 56. Problem for a singer with stage fright? 63. “Moonlight” Oscar-nominee Mahershala 64. Shoots 65. Give a speech 66. Pre-schooler 67. QB’s stats 68. Frisco resident

DOWN

1. Place to get a microdermabrasion 2. Cancel 3. Top notch 4. Known to everybody 5. Take by force 6. “Same here!” 7. “All the cool kids ___ doing it” 8. Women’s History Mo. 9. United 10. Come to terms 11. Slackens 12. Steak selection 13. “Cheese shop” comic 18. Wedding invitee, for short 22. One with a season pass on their jacket 23. Number cruncher’s stuff 24. Approve of 25. Spy Hiss 26. Signs of laughter

27. Spam distributor? 28. Regatta propeller 32. Wichita-toTulsa dir. 33. Southern vine 34. Walk a mile ___ shoes 35. Sallie in the student loan biz 37. Jonathan who plays the High Sparrow in “Game Of Thrones” 38. Look up and down, in an uncomfortable way 39. Lovebird’s call 40. Carp in a pond 43. Not sinking 44. Big name in

scrubbing pads 45. One who takes things the wrong way? 47. All of everything 49. Salt water ___ 50. Become decent 51. Bread at a barbecue 52. Blazing, likely 57. Shallow inlet 58. Cars bassist Benjamin 59. Last letter in the Guardian? 60. Goddess of peace 61. Guess affected by wind current: Abbr. 62. Chuck Schumer’s title: Abbr. {LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS}

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Free Will Astrology

02.08-02.15

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The time is now, Brave Aquarius. Be audacious about improving the big little things in your life. (That’s not a typo. I did indeed use the term “big little things.”) For example: Seek out or demand more engaging responsibilities. Bring your penetrating questions to sphinx-like authorities. Go in search of more useful riddles. Redesign the daily rhythm to better meet your unique needs. Refuse “necessary” boredom that’s not truly necessary. Trust what actually works, not what’s merely attractive. Does all that seem too bold and brazen for you to pull off? I assure you that it’s not. You have more clout than you imagine. You also have a growing faith in your own power to make subtle fundamental shifts. (That’s not a typo. I did indeed use the term “subtle fundamental shifts.”)

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “Love does not at first mean merging, surrendering and uniting with another person,” wrote the poet Rilke, “for what would a union be of two people who are unclarified, unfinished and still incoherent?” That’s an excellent meditation for you to entertain during the Valentine season, Pisces. You’re in the right frame of mind to think about how you could change and educate yourself so as to get the most out of your intimate alliances. Love “is a high inducement for the individual to ripen,” Rilke said, “to become something, to become a world for the sake of another person.” (Thanks to Stephen Mitchell for much of this translation.)

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Your reputation is in a state of fermentation. Will this process ultimately produce the metaphorical equivalent of fine wine, or else something more like pungent cheese? The answer to that question will depend on how much integrity you express as you wield your clout. Be as charismatic as

you dare, yes, but always in service to the greater good rather than to self-aggrandizement. You can accomplish wonders if you are saucy and classy, but you’ll spawn blunders if you’re saucy and bossy.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Using a blend of warfare and diplomacy, Napoleon extended French control over much of Western Europe. In 1804, he decided to formalize his growing sovereignty with a coronation ceremony. He departed from tradition, however. For many centuries, French kings had been crowned by the Pope. But on this occasion, Napoleon took the imperial crown from Pope Pius VII and placed it on his own head. Historian David J. Markham writes that he “was simply symbolizing that he was becoming emperor based on his own merits and the will of the people, not because of some religious consecration.” According to my reading of the astrological omens, Taurus, you have the right to perform a comparable gesture. Don’t wait for some authority to crown you. Crown yourself.

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GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Have you heard the fable about the four blind men who come upon an elephant for the first time? The first man feels the tail and declares that the thing they’ve encountered must be a rope. The second touches one of the elephant’s legs and says that they are in the presence of a tree. The third strokes the trunk and assumes it’s a snake. Putting his hand on a tusk, the fourth man asserts that it’s a spear. I predict that this fable will NOT apply to you in the coming weeks, Gemini. You won’t focus on just one aspect of the whole and think it’s the whole. Other people in your sphere might get fooled by shortsightedness, but you will see the big picture.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): For now, at least, your brain is your primary erogenous zone. I suspect it will be generating some of your sexiest thoughts ever. To be clear, not all of these erupting streams of bliss will directly involve the sweet, snaky mysteries of wrapping your physical body around another’s. Some of the erotic pleasure will come in the form of epiphanies that awaken sleeping parts of your soul. Others might arrive as revelations that chase away months’ worth of confusion. Still others could be creative breakthroughs that liberate you from a form of bondage you’ve wrongly accepted as necessary.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Human beings upload 300 hours of videos to YouTube every minute of every day. Among that swirling flow is a hefty amount of footage devoted exclusively to the amusing behavior of cats. Researchers estimate there are now more than two million clips of feline shenanigans. Despite the stiff competition, I suspect there’s a much better chance than usual that your cat video will go viral if you upload it in the coming weeks. Why? In general, you Leos now have a sixth sense about how to get noticed. You know what you need to do to express yourself confidently and attract attention — not in regard only to your cats, but anything that’s important to you.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I know you haven’t literally been wrestling and wrangling with a sweaty angel. But if I were going to tell a fairy tale about your life lately, I’d be tempted to say this: Your rumble with the sweaty angel is not finished. In fact, the best and holiest part is still to come. But right now you have cosmic permission to take a short break and rest a while. During the lull, ratchet up your determination to learn all you can from your friendly “struggle.” Try to figure out what you’ve been missing about the true nature of the sweaty angel. Vow to become a stronger

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advocate for yourself and a more rigorous revealer of the wild truth.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Even if you’re not an occult wizard or pagan priestess, I suspect you now have the power to conjure benevolent love spells. There’s a caveat, however: They will work only if you cast them on yourself. Flinging them at other people would backfire. But if you do accept that limitation, you’ll be able to invoke a big dose of romantic mojo from both your lower depths and your higher self. Inspiration will be abundantly available as you work to reinvigorate your approach to intimacy and togetherness.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Here’s some advice from Scorpio writer Norman Rush: “The main effort of arranging your life should be to progressively reduce the amount of time required to decently maintain yourself so that you can have all the time you want for reading.” It’s understandable that a language specialist like Rush would make the final word of the previous sentence “reading.” But you might choose a different word. And I invite you to do just that. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to devotedly carve out more time to do The Most Important Thing in Your Life.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sixteenth-century Italian painter Titian was renowned for his brilliant use of color. He was also prolific, versatile and influential. In 2011, one of his paintings sold for $16.9 million. But one of his contemporaries, the incomparable Michelangelo, said that Titian could have been an even greater artist if he had ever mastered the art of drawing. It seems that Titian skipped a step in his early development. Is there any way that your path resembles Titian’s, Sagittarius? Did you neglect to cultivate a basic skill that has subtly (or not so subtly) handicapped your growth ever since? If so, the coming weeks and months will be an excellent time to fix the glitch.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Our obsessive use of digital devices has diminished our power to focus. According to a study by Microsoft, the average human attention span has shrunk to eight seconds — one second less than that of a typical goldfish. I’m guessing, though, that you Capricorns will buck this trend in the coming weeks. Your ability to concentrate might be exceptional even by pre-internet standards. I hope you’ll take opportunity of this fortunate anomaly to get a lot of important work and play done. Don’t get back to where you once belonged. Go forward to where you’ve got to belong in the future. Testify at Freewillastrology.com.

GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT-MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 OR 1-900-950-7700

Savage Love {BY DAN SAVAGE}

Last week, I spoke at the Wilbur Theater in Boston and the Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in Troy, N.Y. Audience members submitted their questions on tiny cards before the show, allowing them to remain anonymous while forcing them to be succinct. Here are some of the questions I didn’t have time to get to at both events. My girlfriend wants to explore her sexuality with another woman but be “heterosexually exclusive” with me. She wants me to have equal freedom but doesn’t think it’s fair for me to be with a woman. I am a heterosexual man. How can we achieve sexual equality? An open relationship for her but a closed-on-atechnicality relationship for you? Yeah, no. Want to achieve sexual equality? Explore your sexuality with other women — as a single man. I am a 50-year-old queer man who never really came out — except to people I’m cruising or fucking. Oh, and to my wife. Is there any social or political value to coming out now, in the shadow of a Trump presidency? There’s tremendous social and political value to being out, whoever the president is. There’s also social and political risk, whoever the president is. If you’re in a position to come out — and you must be, otherwise you wouldn’t be asking — not coming out is a moral failing.

and insist all legal weed shops employ people of color and pay a living wage. And once the profits start rolling in, demand that pot activists and shop owners stay in the fight to demand that people convicted of possessing or selling pot in the past — primarily POC — get full pardons and restitution. Please elaborate on your suggestion that an open relationship could save a marriage. Here’s an example: married couple, together a long time, low-conflict relationship, good partners. Spouse No. 1 is done with sex — libido gone, no interest in taking steps to restore it — but Spouse No. 2 isn’t done with sex. This can play out two ways: (1) Spouse No. 1 insists on keeping the marriage closed, and Spouse No. 2 opts for divorce over celibacy. (2) Spouse No. 1 allows for outside contact — they open the marriage up — and monogamy is sacrificed but the marriage is saved. What’s the healthiest way to address jealousy in a relationship with a jealous and confrontational partner? Your jealous and confrontational partner can address their issues with a therapist after you’ve dumped them. Fuck, marry, kill: Donald Trump, Rick Santorum, Mike Pence. Fuck everything, call off the wedding, kill myself.

When I’ve tried to do the fuck-buddy thing, I’ve gotten attached. Any way to avoid that? Only do the fuck-buddy thing with Republicans. I’m a 31-year-old straight female. I have an intermittent sexual relationship with a married polyamorous friend. Each time we hook up, he says he regrets it. But later, he will contact me and we will hook up again. Should I say no? What do you think is up? Your friend’s head is what’s up — up his own ass. Stop letting him stick his dick up yours. (P.S. His regret has me wondering if his marriage is actually open or if he’s cheating on his wife. If you’ve never discussed their polyamorous arrangement with her, that probably what’s up.) Why are liberals OK with people selfidentifying their gender but not their race? Aren’t both considered social constructs? “If race and gender are both social constructs,” Evan Urquhart writes at Slate, “and if both have been built around observable biological traits, then what is the crucial difference that makes a felt gender identity a true one, but a felt racial identity fraudulent? The short answer is that most trans people and their allies suspect that transgender people are born that way.” (Read the rest of his essay online.) We just legalized weed here in Massachusetts! Yay! How can I, as a consumer but industry outsider, help to ensure more diversity in the legal selling business? Before the shops open, get in the face of your elected officials to make sure licenses are made available to pot entrepreneurs of color. Once legal weed shops are open, go out of your way to patronize pot shops owned by people of color

I see you’ve resurrected your ITMFA campaign. (Bragging rights: I got the Massachusetts license plate ITMFA. The DMV tried to take it back when someone complained, and the ACLU won the case for me!) My question: If Trump is removed from office — if we “impeach the motherfucker already” — we’ll have Mike Pence. Do you really think he’d be any better? We already have Mike Pence. And Pence, as awful as he is, oscillates within a predictable band of Republican awfulness. With a President Pence, we’ll get shitty Supreme Court nominees, attacks on queers and people of color, and fiscal mismanagement. With President Trump, we get all that plus war with Mexico and Australia. And you don’t have to remove your ITMFA buttons once Trump is removed from office — keep ’em on until Pence is impeached, too. Speaking of impeachment: Four in 10 Americans support impeaching Trump. Nixon didn’t hit that number until 18 months into the Watergate scandal. And speaking of my ITMFA campaign: We’ve already raised $100,000 at ITMFA.org, with all proceeds going to the ACLU, Planned Parenthood and the International Refugee Assistance Project. Get your ITMFA hats, buttons and T-shirts at ITMFA.org! (Coming soon: coffee mugs and stickers!) DEAR READERS: Valentine’s Day is coming up. This is your annual reminder to #FuckFirst — have sex and then go out to dinner. Don’t have a heavy meal, drink, eat some chocolate gut-bomb of a dessert, and then write to me on the 15th whining about how you didn’t get laid on the 14th. Fuck first! Or better yet, stay home and fuck all night on the 14th and go out to dinner on the 15th. You’re welcome. On the Lovecast, Dan chats with polyamory luminary Cunning Minx: savagelovecast.com.

SEND YOUR QUESTIONS TO MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET AND FIND THE SAVAGE LOVECAST (DAN’S WEEKLY PODCAST) AT SAVAGELOVECAST.COM

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In Search Of ... {BY AL HOFF}

BEFORE MATCH.COM, Tinder and the like, strangers seeking romantic partners could place personal ads in newspapers, magazines and alt weeklies. At their heyday in the mid1990s — after the social stigma of placing such ads had eased, and before the internet absorbed all the lovelorn — hundreds of personal ads ﬁlled the pages. I was always captivated by those little blocks of text condensing someone’s life, looks, hobbies and hopes into four or ﬁve lines. (Ads cost money, and thus were brief.) Imagine having only 40 words to describe yourself, what you do, whom you would like to meet, and what you might do together. All for the formidable task of selling yourself and hopefully attracting others. Sadly, most folks chose to parrot the same predictable dull ad, but others confronted these constraints with inventiveness or humor. In 1997, I doubled down on my obsession. I read close to 50,000 personal ads drawn from papers across the country, and compiled the best in a zine titled If You Like Piña Coladas … Finding Humor, Weirdness and Exotic Cocktails in the Language of the Personal Ads. (It was later published as a square-shaped book which one reviewer Pe pegged as a “fun book for those who like to read in the bathroom.”) Newspaper personal ads are essentially gone, and I miss the days of idly reading them while waiting for the bus or eating lunch. As a writer (and reader), I saluted those who could transcend the restrictions to craft a great ad — a perfectly honed wordw arrow to win w a suitor. Or at least get noted and appreciated by a bus-rider. AH O F F @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

** SHOWN HERE, ACTUAL PERSONAL ADS

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