April 5, 2017

WWW.PGHCITYPAPER.COM | 04.05/04.12.2017 X PGHCITYPAPER XXXX PITTSBURGHCITYPAPER XX PGHCITYPAPER XX PGHCITYPAPER

RickStarter? More like RickSharter.

WHICH LOCAL RESTAURANT WILL RICK SEBAK NEVER GO TO AGAIN?

Darlene Harris: “PEDUTO WIRETAPPED MY OFFICE”

INSIDE: REAL NEWS ABOUT

FAKE NEWS

PAGE 06!

WORLD EXCLUSIVE

YOU’LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT WIZ KHALIFA PUT ON ANDY WARHOL’S GRAVE! “Heck, I won’t even be alone in a room with my wife.”

PAT TOOMEY DEFENDS MIKE PENCE’S CONTROVERSIAL VIEWS ON MARRIAGE

INSIDE: 15 REASONS TOOMEY WON’T HOLD A TOWN HALL

(NUMBER 11 WILL SHOCK YOU!!)

REVEALED:

SHOCKING PWSA PLANS TO REPLACE CITY WATER WITH …

HEINZ KETCHUP?!

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 04.05/04.12.2017

EVENTS 4.11 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: PETER EVANS SEPTET The Warhol theater Tickets $15/$12 members & students

4.12 – 6pm SIP AND SKETCH: BLOODLINES The Warhol entrance space Presented in conjunction with the exhibition Firelei Báez: Bloodlines, join us for a 21+ live drawing class led by artist educators.

This event is co-presented with Butterjoint.

Free parking in The Warhol lot.

Tickets $15/$12 members; visit warhol.org or call 412.237.8300

4.13 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: MARK EITZEL AND HOWE GELB The Warhol theater Co-presented with WYEP 91.3FM Free parking in The Warhol lot.

Tickets $15/$12 members and students

4.20 – 6-10pm SENSORY-FRIENDLY AUTISM ACCEPTANCE DISCO The Warhol entrance space and underground Open to teens and their families from 6-8pm and 21+ after 8pm.

Free parking in The Warhol lot.

Tickets $15/$10 students & seniors, $5 Access/EBT card holder

4.21 – 8pm GAB BONESSO WITH SPECIAL GUEST GENE COLLIER The Warhol theater Tickets $10/$8 members & students

(UK` >HYOVS»Z ÄST Vinyl (1965)

Co-presented with Ace Hotel Pittsburgh 4.22 – 8pm The Gym at Ace Hotel Pittsburgh (East Liberty), FREE; Register at warhol.org

Ace Hotel Pittsburgh is The Warhol’s official hotel sponsor.

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The Andy Warhol Museum receives state arts funding support through a grant from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, a state agency funded by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency and The Heinz Endowments. Further support is provided by the Allegheny Regional Asset District.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 04.05/04.12.2017

04.05/04.12.2017 VOLUME 27 + ISSUE 14

[EDITORIAL] Editor CHARLIE DEITCH News Editor REBECCA ADDISON Arts & Entertainment Editor BILL O’DRISCOLL Associate Editor AL HOFF Web Producer ALEX GORDON Staff Writers RYAN DETO, CELINE ROBERTS Music Writer MEG FAIR Interns JOHN HAMILTON, AMANI NEWTON, ALONA WILLIAMS

[ART] Director of Operations KEVIN SHEPHERD Production Director JULIE SKIDMORE Art Director LISA CUNNINGHAM Graphic Designers JEFF SCHRECKENGOST, JENNIFER TRIVELLI

[COVER STORY]

[ADVERTISING]

The fake news on our cover is easy to spot. Now we’ll show you how to find the rest.

PAGE 06

[VIEWS]

“Just because you disagree with what we say doesn’t make it any less true.”

Associate Publisher JUSTIN MATASE Senior Account Executives PAUL KLATZKIN, JEREMY WITHERELL Advertising Representatives MACKENNA DONAHUE, BLAKE LEWIS Classified Manager ANDREA JAMES National Advertising Representative VMG ADVERTISING 1.888.278.9866 OR 1.212.475.2529

[MARKETING+PROMOTIONS] Marketing Director LINDSEY THOMPSON Office Coordinator THRIA DEVLIN

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[ADMINISTRATION] Circulation Director JIM LAVRINC Office Administrator RODNEY REGAN Interactive Media Manager CARLO LEO

[PUBLISHER] EAGLE MEDIA CORP.

[SPORTS]

“If you’re taking holidays, people are passing you.”

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Screen 36 Sports 38 Classifieds 41 Crossword 41 Astrology 44 Savage Love 45 The Last Word 46 NEWS

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GENERAL POLICIES: Contents copyrighted 2017 by Eagle Media Corp. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission of the publisher.

The opinions expressed in Pittsburgh City Paper are those of the author and not necessarily of Eagle Media Corp. LETTER POLICY: Letters, faxes or e-mails must be signed and include town and daytime phone number for confirmation.

We may edit for length and clarity. DISTRIBUTION: Pittsburgh City Paper is published weekly by Eagle Media Corp. and is available free of charge at select distribution locations. One copy per reader; copies of past issues may be purchased for $3.00 each, payable in advance to Pittsburgh City Paper. FIRST CLASS MAIL SUBSCRIPTIONS: Available for $175 per year, $95 per half year.

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THIS WEEK

WE’RE LOSING OUR GRASP ON WHAT COUNTS AS RELIABLE INFORMATION

ONLINE

www.pghcitypaper.com

In the next few pages, you’ll find a selection of pieces from our Real News About Fake News media-literacy issue.

Check out the rest, including warning signs to be alert for, at www.pghcitypaper.com.

If you tune in to television news to find out what’s happening in your neck of the woods, read our online-only news analysis, where we discovered local TV news might not be the best place to go for actual news.

Memes make us laugh, but they’re not the best sources of factual information. Head to our website to find out whether there’s any truth to the memes you’ve seen circulating about Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. Hint: probably not.

After you’ve read all the stories in print and online as part of our media-literacy issue, test your newfound knowledge at www.pghcitypaper.com.

Donald Trump has been accusing the media of “fake news” throughout his presidency.

REAL NEWS ABOUT FAKE NEWS

GOOD-NEWS, BAD-NEWS SCENARIO T

HERE’S GOOD NEWS and there’s bad

news: Use of the term “fake news” might have peaked. That’s good news because people are realizing that the label is growing meaningless — an insult tossed at information you don’t like. But it’s also bad because, well, fake news itself hasn’t gone away. We live, after all, in a nation whose president is the loudest purveyor both of outlandish hearsay and of accusations that actual journalists are “enemies of the people.”

Official lying is as old as civilization.

But today, confronted with “alternative facts” spread instantly online, we’re losing our grasp on what counts as reliable information — and perhaps even on reality itself. There’s a real risk that we’ll just

give up on independently verified facts, and — deer caught in the headlines — remain mesmerized instead by the comforting words of our preferred pundits, bloggers and demagogues.

A guide for navigating “good news” and “bad news” in the fake-news era {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL} So let’s define fake news as words and images either intended to deceive, or shared without regard for their truth. This issue of City Paper is meant to help you to both identify such “bad news” and find “good news” to take its place.

Fake news takes many forms. Some is simply clickbait (including made-up articles that don’t match their ridiculous headlines). But few fake-news articles are entirely fictional. More likely, and more insidiously, that deceptive article on your social-media feed (where so many of us get our news) involves something subtler, like made-up quotes buried in otherwise factual stories, or cherry-picked statistics set in misleading contexts (see Last Word, on page 46). Another problem is the blurring of the lines between “news” and “opinion.” Point Park University journalism professor Steve Hallock cites the case of TV’s political “shout shows,” where a given guest, far from an expert on the topic at hand, might be an unacknowledged CONTINUES ON PG. 08

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 04.05/04.12.2017

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RREESSEEAARRCCHH SSTTUUDDYY

GOOD-NEWS, BAD-NEWS, CONTINUED FROM PG. 06

Borderline Pe r s o n a l i t y D i s o r d e r The University of Pittsburgh and UPMC are seeking men and women ages 18 to 45 to take part in a research study of borderline personality disorder.

To participate, you must have symptoms of the disorder, which may include: troubled personal relationships, chronic feelings of emptiness or boredom, difficulty controlling anger or frustration, mood swings, self-destructive or impulsive behaviors, or history of self-inflicted pain or injury.

Participants are interviewed about their moods, behaviors, and personality traits and will be compensated up to $125 upon completion of the interviews.

Some participants may also undergo an fMRI scan. There is no cost for this procedure. Participants are compensated $50 upon completion of the fMRI. For more information, call 412-246-5367.

A Google.com query reveals what people are searching for.

“surrogate for a politician or elected official who has a particular point of view to sell, or … simply a long-time right-wing or left-wing commentator with few credentials other than having been published or aired by a cable channel or publication with a political agenda.”

Fake news knows no ideological or partisan bounds, and its spread is facilitated by factors including our tendency on social media to converse with like-minded folks; our habit of believing what friends tell us; and search engines’ efficiency at feeding us the news our reading habits suggest we want to see. We all live in some sort of information silo.

But it’s also important to understand what fake news isn’t. It’s not satire — even if your uncle thinks that Onion story you shared on Facebook is real. It’s not opinions you disagree with (unless the pundit twists facts). It’s not honest errors by journalists.

It’s not even necessarily bad journalism; for

instance, while factual assertions by public officials should be fact-checked, a reporter who can’t manage that task by deadline probably isn’t trying to deceive you (unless there’s a pattern of leaving untrue assertions unchallenged). Nor is fake news the accurate reporting of patently crazy-pants statements by (say) the president of the United States — though even reporters who call out such lies can be complicit in distracting us from more important issues.

How to proceed? Identifying fake news can be as easy as checking the url.

Odd domain names, and links ending in “.lo” or “.co” often signal fake-news sites, librarians say, and “wordpress” or “blogger” in the url usually signal an opinion site rather than a credible news source. To evaluate further, click on sites’ “About Us” tabs. Other red flags include sensationalistic or all-caps language (“x CRUSHES y”) and the absence of bylines on articles. Also note original publication dates: Marnie Hampton, a teaching librarian at the University of Pittsburgh’s Hillman Library, cautions that old web pages “seem to rise like zombies” to spread outdated information.

Statistics or other facts offered without sources should raise suspicions; if a source or study is cited or linked, check that out, too. For any given news story, Hampton adds, don’t rely on just one source: See whether and how the story’s being reported elsewhere. Sites like PolitiFact, FactCheck and Snopes exist to ferret out the truth about rumors and politicians’ public statements. And if a story is breaking — the latest bombing or political scandal — don’t draw conclusions based on the usually sketchy information and speculation (often ideologically charged) that’s immediately available.

“See what the story is in 24 hours, when people have more chance to do background research,” Hampton says.

Fake news would start to die if each of us would simply check out articles and factoid-based memes before sharing them.

And in fact, journalism professor Hallock contends that the new wave of official lying

FAKE NEWS TAKES MANY FORMS.

FIVE WARNING SIGNS OF FAKE NEWS >> Sensationally worded headlines (“you won’t believe,” “x CRUSHES y”) routinely indicate clickbait >> urls ending in “.lo” or “.co” often indicate comedy or satire sites >> No byline >> Sources not fully identified or only unnamed sources >> Cited events are not dated to provide proper context

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 04.05/04.12.2017

APRIL 19 & 20, 2017 DAVID L. LAWRENCE CONVENTION CENTER / HALL A

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GOOD-NEWS, BAD-NEWS, CONTINUED FROM PG. 08

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LANDMARKS PRESERVATION RESOURCE CENTER - A program of the Pittsburgh History & Landmarks Foundation Foundation

Join us at the Landmarks Preservation Resource Center for ongoing workshops as we continue programming on architecture, history, design, urban planning, and other topics related to how cities function and historic preservation as a tool of community development.

THURSDAY, APRIL 6 • 6:00 TO 8:00 P.M.

PRESERVATION & SUSTAINABILITY FORUM INNOVATION THROUGH PRESERVATION: EXPLORING THE TIES BETWEEN HISTORIC PRESERVATION AND SUSTAINABLE DESIGN

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Join Pittsburgh History & Landmarks Foundation (PHLF) and the Green Building Alliance (GBA) for an evening in which we discuss this complex and nuanced relationship between historic preservation and green building practices and principles. This event will feature speakers who will offer perspectives that relate to historic and cultural preservation, green building and design.

This event will be hosted in the offices of Strada Architecture, in the Regional Enterprise Tower (the former Alcoa Building) and will use that building as a case study for exploring this topic.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 04.05/04.12.2017

has renewed healthy skepticism in the press: “I do think that Trump has changed the landscape a little, because he’s forced some people to do some doublechecking to make sure there’s not another side to it.”

Hallock notes rising subscription rates for The New York Times and other reputable papers. “I think Trump is actually strengthening journalism and I don’t think he intended to do that,” Hallock says.

But what are the traits of credible news sources?

Inevitably, all journalists and newsgathering institutions (even this one) have biases. They choose to tell a given story from a particular perspective. They include some facts and leave out others. And they frame those facts in a certain way. So because not even the most responsible journalist is perfectly objective, on any given topic it’s wise to consult news sources from across the political spectrum — even international viewpoints.

Hallock, for his part, says that the best criteria for good journalism isn’t objectivity, or even the ever-malleable “balance.”

He prefers “thoroughness.” Having “both sides” of a story trade accusations and rebuttals isn’t always illuminating; most

HOW TO KILL FAKE NEWS Check links out before you share >> If a story is breaking, wait: Facts will change shortly >> For any given story, seek out multiple sources of information >>

stories, in fact, have way more than two sides. Journalists should present as many of them as possible, double-check facts and put them in context.

In a complex world, the willingness to go in-depth, in longer formats if need be, is crucial to finding the truth. And if that takes more effort from journalists, it’s going to require more effort from readers, viewers and listeners, too.

D RI S C OL L @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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LYNN CULLEN IS GOING BACK TO SCHOOL!

With so much media around the world, how do we know which publications are following their own rules?

REAL NEWS ABOUT FAKE NEWS

STRAIGHT TO THE SOURCE In the current news climate, it’s time to question where news outlets get their information {BY RYAN DETO}

Lynn Cullen Live is now broadcasting daily from studios at Point Park University’s

Center for Media Innovation The show, presented by Pittsburgh City Paper in conjunction with Point Park University, airs daily at 10 a.m. at

www.pghcitypaper.com

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 04.05/04.12.2017

PEOPLE WANT an easy answer to ending the spread of fake news. And while there are some easy fixes — like checking if websites end in “.co” instead of “.com” — for the most part, filtering through media options to get a balanced truth requires time, skill and persistence.

Adding to that work, another complex problem is developing in the fake-news cannon: legitimate news sources citing non-legitimate sources for stories.

For example, PennLive. com, the website of Harrisburg newspaper, The Patriot-News, ran a story in November 2016 about a University of Pittsburgh employee who allegedly offered extra credit to students who attended a social-justice rally in Downtown Pittsburgh.

The conservative-leaning, studentrun news site The Pitt Maverick originally reported this, and it was picked up by Fox News and other conservative outlets. As Pittsburgh City Paper reported in March, writers at The Maverick, while earnest, have little journalism training and no journalism adviser. The Maverick also failed to reach out to Pitt for comment and never printed Pitt’s side of the

story. And while PennLive.com did additional reporting to get more of the story, many other news outlets didn’t. (Pitt officials later issued a statement, saying the email in question was created by a student and later forwarded by an administrative assistant, not a professor; officials also said extra credit can’t be offered for such an event.)

So when legitimate news sources are citing suspect sources, what can readers do to find the full truth? Some experts point to a few suggestions, like cross-referencing claims in the media with long-standing reliable sources. Journalists also suggest readers themselves should adopt some reporting skills. And it’s not just readers who need to change their strategies.

Media-ethics experts say publications should up their accountability to rebuild trust with readers and viewers.

Maybe with all these t e ch ni qu e s co m b i ne d , readers, journalists and society can push fake news back to the periphery of U.S. culture where it belongs.

Steven Barrett is a retired psychiatrist who operates Quackwatch.org and other consumer-protection websites. He’s been publishing reports on unreliable health studies for 40 years. He says news outlets often cite sources that aren’t legitimate, and a good practice is to double-check with more reliable sources. Barrett mentions, for example, if you hear a sensational story about cancer, check what the American Cancer Institute says.

“I would not take my advice from media reports,” says Barrett. “I would take

“I WOULD NOT TAKE MY ADVICE FROM MEDIA REPORTS.”

advice from reliable anchors, like the government agencies, respectable professional groups and health periodicals.”

But some journals, like the Journal of American Physicians and Surgeons, have been cited in Breitbart, even though many of their claims have been rejected by institutions like ACI and the journal has been accused of right-wing bias. This is why Barrett believes readers should look for signs of unreliability. He says it’s like finding a reliable doctor.

“I can’t tell you who the best doctor is, but I can tell you the ones to stay away from: anyone that is selling you vitamins,” says Barrett, citing multiple studies showing multi-vitamins have zero health benefits for well-nourished adults.

Barrett says once reliable sources of information are identified, it’s easier to debunk fake news. But he also understands the landscape people are up against. “If there is a way to trick people, I am sure it is being done,” says Barrett.

“There are potential counterfeits in almost all aspects of our life.”

Andrew Seaman, of the Society of Professional Journalists, says the idea of the media holding itself accountable is key.

He’s noticed an uptick in outlets merely quoting sources and not doing the necessary vetting to see if they’re legit. And if those publications end up being wrong, they don’t often own up.

“In SPJ code of ethics, even if you are going to be quoting another source, you are ultimately responsible for what you publish,” says Seaman, who chairs SPJ’s ethics committee. “We don’t often see news sources take accountability on this.”

For example, Seaman is critical of the oft-used technique of quoting people on Twitter. He says many reporters will just pluck tweets from Twitter to use as quotes in stories, without checking the account for some credibility. It’s like quoting people on the street by overhearing one sentence they say and then walking away.

“The best solution is for journalists to [be critical of] themselves,” says Seaman.

He also says an increase in an openly partisan press has made this issue worse, citing outlets on both sides, like ThinkProgress and Fox News. With more partisanship, reporters are less likely to question sources when sources say something that confirms their bias. Seaman thinks we can fight through this problem, but it starts with publications rebuilding trust.

“Basically, we sort of have to start from scratch,” Seaman says. “If people are going to be more skeptical of us, then

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we have to be better too. … We have an army of ethical journalists across the country, we just have to mobilize.”

To help readers make sense of the current news climate, Pittsburgh-based nonprofit news organization Public Source has been holding workshops across Pittsburgh to help news consumers identify what is reliable and what isn’t. The workshops teach people how to flag fake news, check claims for accuracy and teach citizens how to access public data and records.

“This whole ‘fake news’ thing is becoming more of a problem, so we should do something about it,” says Public Source reporter J. Dale Shumaker.

He says helping teach Pittsburghers about investigative techniques also can remind journalists to practice what they preach.

“We as journalists are going to take on the responsibility of helping people know what is true and what is not true,” Shumaker says. “We need to show them that journalism is ultimately about truth.”

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REAL NEWS ABOUT FAKE NEWS

CONFIRMATION VIRUS Media consumers are taking memes at face value, but they often contain misinformation {BY REBECCA ADDISON} THE KNOWING smile of Gene Wilder in

his role as Willy Wonka. Basketball legend Michael Jordan with tears streaming down his face. The wild eyes of the unknown woman who’s been dubbed “overly attached girlfriend.” Grumpy Cat. Memes make us laugh. They’re accessible and condensed ways to share your views. And since the aim is to go viral, they often speak to universal truths creators hope will resonate and lead others to pass the meme on. We identify with the Gene Wilder meme admonishing people who constantly complain about Mondays because those people are annoying. And we nod our heads at that scowling Grumpy Cat meme succinctly summarizing what many of us feel on a Monday because, well, Mondays do really suck.

(The staff at Pittsburgh City Paper are also big fans of memes. We used them to sum up our year-end coverage in 2014 and 2016).

Memes can also be great for expressing political views. No complicated paragraphs.

No citing of sources. If you think Hillary Clinton’s a criminal, say it in a meme.

While there’s nothing wrong with sharing a light, humorous meme, too often the medium is being used for heavier subject matter. More and more, people are actually taking the information they read in memes as fact. But

While Snopes debunked the People meme in October 2015, it circulated long after that. Last year, several news outlets, including CNN, published pieces debunking the meme, but its circulation continued. Ironically, in November, comedian Amy Schumer posted the meme on Instagram as part of a wordy post she penned about how uninformed Republicans are. In the final line of her diatribe she wrote, “Yes, this quote is fake but it doesn’t matter.”

In the months since the election, memes have been used to show the damage President Trump and the Republican Party — who now control the House of Representatives and the Senate — will do to the United States. In one, the words “The last time Republicans controlled the White House and Congress in 1928, causing the . at www Great Depression” are put over an r e p a p pghcitym image meant to portray a Depres.co sion-era soup kitchen.

In actuality, 1928 wasn’t the last time Republicans controlled both branches of government. They held majorities under President Dwight Eisenhower and President George W. Bush.

And blame for the Great Depression doesn’t rest solely on any party.

Says Snopes: “Regardless, the Republican Party, the United States and the world as a whole are all vastly different than they were 88 years ago, so offering superficial comparisons between elements from now and back then is not likely to contribute much substance to today’s 1998 interview Trump did with People political discourse.” magazine, but according to Snopes.com No political party is more culpable and other fact-checking websites, there of this than the other. (The examples is no record of any interview. In fact, in this article favor a liberal worldTrump has frequently identified as a view.) It’s up to consumers on both Republican, and in an article published sides not to pass along misinformain 1998 by the Orlando Sentinel, it was tion simply because it confirms what reported that Trump raised $1 million we believe to be true. As with everyfor Gov. Jeb Bush and the Republican thing we consume online, verify before Party that year. you share.

MORES E MEMN I L ON E

since memes are designed to go viral, these “facts” can be skewed or even completely made up.

During the recent presidential election, this trend was on full display. Over the past year, there were hundreds of tweets circulating about then-candidate Donald Trump, but one in particular was posted often on social media.

Accompanied by a picture of Trump, the meme reads: “If I were to run, I’d run as a Republican. They’re the dumbest group of voters in the country. They believe anything on Fox News. I could lie and they’d still eat it up. I bet my numbers would be terrific.”

The meme went viral, due in no small part to how it meshed with how liberals characterize Trump: phony.

“See,” the Democrats cheered, virtual fingers wagging in Republican faces, “this man is lying to you.”

The quote has been attributed to a

“YES, THIS QUOTE IS FAKE, BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER.”

RA D D I S ON @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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REAL NEWS ABOUT FAKE NEWS

ALTERNATIVE (WEEKLY) FACTS {BY CHARLIE DEITCH} EARLY IN MY journalism career, I was working on a story involving a dispute between two parties (the details escape me), and my editor at the daily newspaper told me to make sure I got both sides of the story. Sounded reasonable enough.

I vaguely remembered that being on a test or two in college.

After getting quotes from all parties involved, I realized that some of the claims and numbers given by one side didn’t make sense, seemed arbitrary and couldn’t be verified. I brought this to my editor, and he told me to print it anyway — as the person said it — because both sides were “entitled to have their say.” This editor wasn’t alone. I’d hear that instruction off and on at dailies I’d work on for more than 10 years.

In 2000, I got a job with In Pittsburgh News Weekly, the now-defunct competitor of City Paper. Like CP, it was an alt weekly, and I quickly learned a new, and I think better, way of doing things. We’ve always operated differently from daily papers.

We are able to devote more time to the stories we write about, and we’re able to take a more in-depth look at things.

We also are more willing to look into or talk about issues that other media outlets, for one reason or another, won’t.

Some of our best stories have come from people who said they couldn’t get anyone at bigger papers or TV stations to help them.

But there’s also another significant difference between us and other media outlets: Our goal isn’t to be “fair and balanced”; we’ve also never pretended it was. Our goal, as it is with most alt weeklies, is to be factual and thorough. We try to talk to as many people as we can when we do a story to make sure we understand the issue we are writing about and to present all valid arguments.

We don’t, however, seek out opinions on the other side of an issue when the only purpose is to create an illusion of so-called fairness.

There are some people, for example, who don’t believe in same-sex marriage because it goes against their religion. There are some people who believe that gender is defined by sexual organs. There are people who believe

that the Confederate flag is an expression of heritage, not hate; that climate change is phony; and that the police are justified in all circumstances. But years of study and real-world examples have proven that these opinions are backward, invalid or ignorant. We do more of a disservice to readers by allowing uninformed, small-minded opinions to pass as facts.

However, that doesn’t mean that we ignore arguments that are counter to our own philosophical beliefs; quite the contrary, actually. I’ve written my opinion many times on the need for gun control, for instance. But when we do these stories, we talk to all sides, because it’s a conversation worth advancing to perhaps reach a solution to a serious problem. By the same token, if a legislator’s argument to mitigate school shootings is to arm teachers, we have an obligation to both report their side and point out to the public how utterly insane that is.

Just because there’s more than one side to an issue doesn’t mean each is equally valid. If one side is more right or more wrong than another, it’s our job to present the facts and point that out.

Which brings us to our illustrious President Donald Trump. On the campaign trail, he told so many lies that it was hard to keep track. Media outlets who have spent decades using the “he said, she said” approach to reporting began to take a different approach. After Trump took office, he continued to misrepresent the truth, and more of the press began directly calling him out on it.

He declared us an enemy of the people.

But we’re not; we’re not even his enemy.

We’re also not his friend.

And as an alt weekly, CP is even less of one. Donald Trump changed the way that many media outlets report the news. But this isn’t new to us. This is how we’ve always done it. We are a progressive publication that has created a niche in the newspaper industry by doing things differently. Our reporting is complete and, most importantly, factual. That’s what people like Donald Trump need to learn.

Just because you disagree with what we say doesn’t make it any less true.

Our paper is alternative, not our facts.

JUST BECAUSE THERE’S MORE THAN ONE SIDE TO AN ISSUE DOESN’T MEAN THEY’RE EQUALLY VALID

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News of the Weird

S E N D YO UR WE I R D N E WS TO W E I RD N E W S @ E ART HL I NK . N E T O R WWW. NE WS O F T HE WE I R D. C OM

{BY CHUCK SHEPHERD}

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TATTOO & Body Piercing

China’s public-park restrooms have for years suffered toilet-paper theft by local residents who raid dispensers for their own homes (a cultural habit, wrote Hong Kong’s South China Morning Post, expressing taxpayer feelings of “owning” public facilities), but the government recently fought back with technology. At Beijing’s popular Temple of Heaven park, dispensers now have facialrecognition scanners beside the six toilets, with pre-cut paper (about 24 inches long) issued only to users who pose for a picture. (Just one slug of paper can be dispensed to the same face in a nine-minute period, catastrophic for the diarrhea-stricken and requiring a call to an attendant to override the machine.)

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The U.S. House of Representatives, demonstrating particular concern for military veterans, enhanced vets’ civil rights in March by removing a source of delay in gun purchases. A 2007 law had required all federal agencies to enter any mentally-ill clients into the National Instant Criminal Background Check database for gun purchases, but the new bill exempts veterans (including, per VA estimates, 19,000 schizophrenics and 15,000 with “severe” posttraumatic stress syndrome). (An average of a dozen veterans a day in recent times have committed suicide with guns.)

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Police and prosecutors in Williamsburg, Va., are absolutely certain that Oswaldo Martinez raped and killed a teenage girl in 2005, but, though he was quickly arrested, they have — 12 years later — not even put him on trial. Martinez, then 33, is still apparently, genuinely (i.e., not faking) deaf, illiterate and almost mute. And besides that, the undocumented Salvadoran immigrant has such limited intelligence that test after test has shown him incapable of understanding his legal rights, and therefore “incompetent” to stand trial. (Police made multiple “slam dunk” findings of Martinez’s DNA on the victim’s body and also linked Martinez via a store camera to the very bottle of juice left at the crime scene.)

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On the morning of March 20 in Winter Park, Fla., Charles Howard, standing outside his home being interviewed live by a WFTV reporter, denied he had committed a crime in a widely reported series of voicemail messages to a U.S. Congressman, containing threats to “wrap a rope around your neck and hang you from a lamp post.” He boasted that “proof” of his having done nothing wrong was that if he had, he would have already been arrested. “Three minutes later,” according to the reporter, agents drove up and arrested Howard.

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People Different From Us: Hey, How About a Little “Remorse”: (1) Royce Atkins, 23, told the judge in Northampton

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 04.05/04.12.2017

County, Pa., in March that he was so sorry he did not stop his car in 2015 and help that 9-year-old boy he had just hit and killed.

However, Atkins had earlier been jailhouserecorded viciously trash-talking the boy’s family for “reacting like they’re the victims. What about my family? My family is the victim, too.” (Atkins got a four-year sentence.) (2) In February, in a Wayne County, Mich. court during sentencing for a DUI driver who had killed a man and severely injured his fiancee, Judge Qiana Lillard kicked the driver’s mother out of the courtroom for laughing at the victim’s sister, who was tearfully addressing the judge. (Lillard sentenced the mother to 93 days for contempt, but later reduced it to one day).

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Among the facts revealed in the ongoing criminal proceedings against U.S. Navy officials and defense contractor Leonard (“Fat Leonard”) Francis, who is charged

with arranging kickbacks: In 2007, Francis staged a party for the officials at the Shangri-La Hotel in the Philippines during which (according to an indictment unsealed in March) “historical memorabilia related to General Douglas MacArthur were used by the participants in sexual acts.”

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The Passing Parade: (1) A 23-year-old Albuquerque woman performed cartwheels instead of a standard field sobriety test at a DUI stop in February, but she did poorly and was charged anyway. On the other hand, student Blayk Puckett, stopped by University of Central Arkansas police, helped shield himself from a DUI by juggling for the officer. (2) Oreos fans sampling the limited-edition Peeps Oreos in February expressed alarm that not only their tongues and saliva turned pink, but also their stools (which left a pink ring in the bowl).

A gastroenterologist told Live Science it was nothing to worry about.

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LOCAL

“YOU’RE SCREAMING LOUDLY BECAUSE YOU NEED TO SCREAM LOUDLY.”

BEAT

{BY ALEX GORDON}

Molly Spear was in a creative rut, or so she says.

The Pittsburgh-based composer, pianist and guitarist currently plays in the math-rock trio Sick Bay (plus a number of other groups over the years), and seems to have a handful of ambitious projects on deck at all times. It doesn’t sound much like a rut, but over the past few months, Spear says she started to feel frustrated and disappointed with her creative output.

So she challenged herself to write and release an album a week, starting on March 5.

These albums, available for nameyour-own-price on her Bandcamp, vary in style, but are all comfortably rooted in abstract, ambient traditions.

HARD SWALLOW kicked off the series, comprised mostly of lo-fi guitar-based loops ranging from minimal post-rock (“33 Days”) to awesomely nightmarish (“Wear Your Fucking Seatbelt”).

Erde, March EP No. 2, is pleasantly hellish as well, this time leaning on distortion and feedback for an alternately mesmerizing and antagonizing listen.

If that description gets you jazzed, you should try DRUGS!. That EP from March 29 also straddles the line between harsh and happy, particularly the highlight, “God’s Morning Breath,” which sounds like something Moondog might have written to help his pets sleep.

Spear grew up studying classical piano, guitar and the Flashdance soundtrack before expanding into world music, minimalism and the avant garde. She became drawn to anything that felt dangerous or bizarre. That mix of classical familiarity and penchant for oddity seems to be the guiding principle in her music.

On CORN CHIPS, easily the warmest album in the series, Spear takes Claude DeBussy’s “Claire du Lune” and plays it backward to create “Cerulean Lid.” This can be achieved with a few clicks in most audio programs, but Spear actually played the sheet music backward in real time. This was predictably difficult, but produced an unpredictably unique tune. Treating the piano part with a Panda Bear-ish reverb, Spear’s “version” is dreamy and vaguely haunting, which is a good way to describe her whole deal.

Check out the project at mollyspear. bandcamp.com. She plans to continue the project “as long as [her] creativity holds out.”

Molly Spear

WRITER’S BLOC

{PHOTO COURTESY OF JAKE CUNNINGHAM}

Julien Baker

{BY MEG FAIR}

C

Julien Baker as is her music.

Well, probably not, but it’s up there pretty high. When City Paper catches up with Baker by phone, she’s parked outside one of those combination gas station/ Dunkin’ Donuts, but she’s not likely to get a cup off coffee here (more on that in a minute). She’s with Lucy Dacus, her Matador Records labelmate and good friend, and they’re on their way down to visit Baker’s hometown of Memphis, Tenn. They plan on attending a house show to see a screamo band that Baker loves.

Those who know Baker by her vulnerable, soaring vocals and gentle songwriting might be shocked by her affinity for hardcore and grungy DIY spaces. She has a stick ’n’ poke Underoath tattoo and spent a lot of her free time as a teen at an allages, drug-free skate park. Hardcore music and the ethos behind it are embedded in Baker’s mind.

ALEXGORDON@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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OFFEE IS ALMOST as important to

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 04.05/04.12.2017

“At those heavy shows, the artists are admitting their faults and putting their hearts on display,” she says. “You’re screaming loudly because you need to scream loudly.”

THE DECEMBERISTS WITH JULIEN BAKER

7 p.m. Sat., April 8. Stage AE, 400 North Shore Drive, North Side. $40.

412-229-5483 or www.stageae.com

In just a few years, the songwriter has gone from playing living rooms to touring with The Decemberists, playing festivals and taping Tiny Desk concerts for NPR. Despite that, the 21-year-old Baker hits up the same shows she did before she debuted Sprained Ankle, in 2015.

The moment that represents the epitome of what Baker loves about hardcore culture is the sacred passing of the microphone.

“The most revolutionary thing that happens is putting that microphone into the crowd,” says Baker. “That participation is cleansing.”

The tradition goes back to a speech that Josh Scogin, vocalist for Christian hardcore outfit The Chariot, gave during a performance in Australia, later featured in a video of the performances on that tour.

“This microphone is your microphone,” he proclaims. “This stage is your stage. This is our house, so be free.”

Baker looked up to Scogin, and their mutual desire to heal through music bonded them after her post-punk band, Forrister, performed with his new project, ’68.

Religion was the root of The Chariot’s own catharsis, and it is for Baker as well.

The faith, hardcore and DIY communities are all linked by a similar mission.

“DIY and faith communities are united in [the] participants’ hunger for community. Social egalitarianism is at the heart of

DIY and the Gospel,” Baker explains. “At the heart of DIY and at the heart of … communities of faith is the goal to heal, not to judge.

“If we could reach that understanding, I think conversations about spirituality would make people squirm less.”

When Baker talks about DIY ethics, hardcore culture and socio-political theory, she does so knowledgeably. She had just finished reading Refugees, Terror and Other Troubles with the Neighbors, by Slavoj Žižek, and was digging into Let Us Now Praise Famous Men, journalist James Agee’s account of life among American sharecroppers during the Great Depression.

These are serious, heady topics, but what makes Baker unique is how her wisdom and curiosity are combined with the goofy, fun-loving musings of a 21-yearold. She’s still that young adult who loves going to house shows, drinking good coffee and traveling with her best friends.

As our conversation winds down, we begin to talk about coffee and the threetiered system she’s developed to categorize coffee shops.

“It may seem counterintuitive, but you usually want a tier-two coffee,” explains Baker. “The third tier are your big chains, your Tim Hortons, Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks. The first tier are those coffee shops where the barista probably has a name tag on that says ‘coffee artist’ instead of ‘barista’ and is contractually obligated not to smile. All the furniture is angular, like you’re meant to feel uncomfortable.”

She chuckles as she leads into the sweet spot, tier two.

“It’s that coffee shop with old couches, board games missing a bunch of pieces, and a push-pin board where somebody is looking for their lost cat, someone else is trying to start an open-mic night. You probably have to walk through beads to get to the bathroom,” she explains.

It’s this balance, her funny way of categorizing coffee and her genuine penchant for hardcore mingling with her melancholic, spiritual music, that makes Baker a crossover artist without her having to write music that panders to different fans. Just by being herself, a complex human being with varied interests, she’s able to deliver crowds into complete, attentive silence Without intending to, or ever daring to claim such a title, Baker has become the patron saint of the lost and brokenhearted. She uses her stewardship to heal both the crowd and herself. And who knew that that patron saint would be found in a living room listening to a screamo band in Memphis, not knowing just how important she is.

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STATE OF BLISS {BY MEG FAIR}

{PHOTO COURTESY OF SHERVIN LAINEZ}

Charly Bliss

Charly Bliss is a perfect storm of bubblegum vocals crooning twisted lyrics. Its pop-punk instrumentation oozes bouncy energy while carrying a darker, complex message.

Its forthcoming record, Guppy, is a brutally honest, super-catchy record that has mass appeal, while still feeling intimate in its exploration of inner demons.

Guppy’s power surges from its ability to show its neck, confessing intimate bad habits over unreasonably catchy, poppy hooks.

It’s an inside look into the highs and lows of the band, especially those of vocalist Eva Hendricks. The songs are a vehicle for Hendricks to explore the darker, sometimes embarrassing things about herself.

“I think that’s kind of how I am. I’m both ways; really bubbly and excitable and outgoing, but also I struggle with anxiety and self-doubt,” Hendricks writes via email.

“I think it’s kind of cool that we accidentally made a record that mirrors that.”

The opening lyrics of “DQ” are a perfect example: “I loved when your dog died. / It is cruel, but it’s true. / Take me back, kiss my soft side. / Does he love me most, now that his dog is toast?”

Though confessing you’re happy someone’s pet has passed seems intense, Hendricks isn’t afraid to tap into that theatrical, desperate desire to be loved above all, to be someone’s everything.

“To me, [‘DQ’ is] this really fun, irreverent, goofy song about a lot of really destructive behavior,” she explains.

“I’m making fun of myself for ‘going south’ in a supermarket parking lot and for my insatiable need for love. It makes me laugh about things I’m ashamed of.”

“Ruby” is an homage to Hendricks’ therapist; in “Percolator,” Hendricks slyly declares that her self-destructive behavior will end up leaving her dead in a getaway car; and the album closer, “Julia,” is a grungy voyage that ends with a distorted scream of frustration.

Rather than writing the kind of emotive music that has fans curling up and moping, Charly Bliss encourages its followers to bounce around and shout along to free themselves from inner torment.

MEGFAIR@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

OPERATORS with CHARLY BLISS 9 p.m. Fri., April 7. Cub Café, 56 S. 12th St., South Side. $10-12. 412-431-4950 or www.clubcafelive.com

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 04.05/04.12.2017

Make a fresh start.

Call 412-329-6523 today to schedule a visit!

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Blowing it away: Peter Evans

STILL KILLING {BY MIKE SHANLEY} ALL HYPERBOLE aside, Peter Evans has one

of the most unique voices on the trumpet.

When he picks up his horn, there’s no telling whether he’ll emit some guttural, low-end rumbles, reedy midrange lines or vicious smears and growls. In one performance, though, he’s likely to do all of the above at some point. But while his approach might move beyond musical trappings like chord changes and lines and into the realm of pure sound, he always approaches his instrument, and his compositions, with emotion.

Evans was a founding member of the group Mostly Other People Do the Killing, which reveled in the collision between jazz tradition and freewheeling improvisation. But he now focuses on his own works, which range from solo performances to duets to his current septet, which comes to town next week. The group began as a quintet that included Jim Black on drums; Ron Stabinsky (also of MOPDtK) on piano and synthesizer; Tom Blancarte on bass; and Sam Pluta on live electronics. At a performance at Winter Jazz Fest, in January, they were joined by violinist Mazz Swift, and Levy Lorenzo has also joined on percussion and electronics.

“This configuration is continuing the trajectory we have been on as a group,” Evans writes via email, “more towards a multi-dimensional and multi-faceted ‘orchestral’ approach to the variety of sound, texture and mood than ever before.”

Even with seven players, many of whom use pedal effects on their instruments, Evans says the music sounds less crowded than one might expect. “I think it’s due to the sensitivity of all the players to each

other and the wide variety of sound that is always possible, lurking under the surface of every moment.”

Genesis, an album the quintet recorded predominantly on a 2015 European tour, features several extended pieces, ranging from the rollicking “Genesis/Schismogenesis” to “3 for Alice,” which is dedicated to the late pianist Alice Coltrane. The latter piece begins in a meditative mood and goes through several settings, including a jagged electronic section.

blogh.pghcitypaper.com

Work yourself into a lather.

Rinse. Repeat.

PETER EVANS SEPTET 8 p.m. Tue., April 11. Andy Warhol Museum, 117 Sandusky St., North Side. $15.

412-237-8300 or www.warhol.org

While the music often gets rather technical, sonically and compositionally, Evans always maintains an expressive quality.

“The overarching thrust of my work these days — which is I think made more pertinent in our abysmal political and cultural climate — is to make sure that the music provides something different, something directly opposed to the superficiality, meanness and spiritual impoverishment we see all around us,” he writes. “Art might not be able to destroy white supremacy or authoritarian corporate hegemony, but it has its role to play in a larger struggle for the minds and spirits of our fellow humans. [It can] open a window in time and reaffirm, if there are any doubts, that something else is possible.”

Besides, even improvisation can offer life lessons. “This is a process-oriented approach that prioritizes sensitivity, the ability to adapt and listen, individual and collective power, the compression of all of one’s faculties and history into a single moment of musical creativity,” writes Evans.

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CRITICS’ PICKS

Great Lake Swimmers

[ROCK] + THU., APRIL 06

[PUNK] + MON., APRIL 10

Cincinnati’s Leggy possesses the larger-thanlife feel of rock ‘n’ roll days gone by. Its latest release is a full-length, self-titled compilation featuring songs from its three EPs, Cavity Castle, Nice Try and Dang. With those EPs sewn together, Leggy is a raucous, reverb-soaked venture that shows the band’s range and depth.

Grimier proto-punk sneaks into songs like “Lana.” “Chardonnay Summer” is a darker track that works in a tiny bite of rockabilly with a femmefatale edge.

Joining Leggy at the Mr. Roboto Project tonight is the catchy rock of Reign Check, The Lopez and artful spoken word delivered by Brittany Chantele.

Meg Fair 8 p.m.

5106 Penn Ave., Bloomfield. $7.

All ages. www. robotoproject.org

The Rizzos of NYC are crafting music for everything from your next couple’s skate to your speedy bike ride down Penn Avenue when you’re late to work. Tonight at Gooski’s, the trio unleashes the fuzzy garage party at its core with tongue-in-cheek tracks like “Suckitude” and “Prom Mom.” The band also has a penchant for writing music that makes us want to dance like we’re at a school dance in the ‘60s or cast members of Hairspray.

Jumping in on the fun is Dumplings, a psych-tinged rock band from Pittsburgh that brings the groove as well as the party, balancing FIDLAR-ish tendencies with Bowie-esque party anthems like “Silly Leggy Boy.” Polish Hill’s own The Lopez wraps it all up with a bratty little bow on top. MF 9 p.m. 3117 Brereton St., Polish Hill. $5. 412-681-1658

[LOCALS ONLY] + SAT., APRIL 08 If you love seeing even a sliver of the incredible talent that Pittsburgh’s music scene contains, get your butt down to Mr. Smalls Funhouse for tonight’s local showcase. This one is for those who love guitar rock and psych. Grandiose and manic, the devilish rockers of Misaligned Mind bring a subtly spaced-out vibe to hard-rock instrumentation. The astral pop of wwoman will mesmerize with catchy hooks and psychdriven movements, while delicious pastries satiates your appetite for guitar-driven fuzzy psych pop. Folky rock pop with a tinge of trip, The Garment District transports showgoers to a bygone era where people roam with flowers in their hair and celebrate life freely. NOX BOYS’ garage-y, surf-soaked sound rounds it all out.

MF 8 p.m. 400 Lincoln Ave., Millvale. $10-12.

All ages. 412-821-4447 or www.mrsmalls.com

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 04.05/04.12.2017

[FOLK ROCK] + WED., APRIL 12 Great Lake Swimmers make sultry, melodic folk pop, and they’re damn good at it. Over six full-lengths dating to 2003 (many of which were recorded in such unlikely venues as a subway station, a church and a grain silo), the members of this Toronto five-piece have established themselves as some of the strongest songwriters in the genre. If you’re new to GLS, start with “Don’t Leave Me Hanging.” Joining them tonight at Club Café is the brilliant subdued melancholy of local songwriter Emily Rodgers.

Come out, cry and maybe call your ex after.

Alona Williams 7 p.m. 56 S. 12th St., South Side. $15. 412-431-4950 or www.clubcafelive.com

TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://PGHCITYPAPER.COM/HAPPENINGS 412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X165 (PHONE) {ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

ROCK/POP THU 06 CLUB CAFE. Six Organs Of Admittance. South Side.

412-431-4950.

HOWLERS. Lea Bertucci, Thousandzz of Beez, Amadea & Futurism. Bloomfield.

412-682-0320.

JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. M.E.M.3. Warrendale.

724-799-8333.

FRI 07 CLUB CAFE. Operators w/ Charly Bliss. South Side. 412-431-4950.

CORAOPOLIS VFW POST 402.

The Rockers. Coraopolis.

412-264-3335.

HOWLERS. Sam Vicari, Amoeba Knievel & Dumplings. Bloomfield.

412-682-0320.

JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. Dancing Queen. Warrendale.

724-799-8333.

MOONDOG’S. The Compadres.

Blawnox. 412-828-2040.

MR. SMALLS THEATER. Chelsea Grin w/ Ice Nine Kills, Gideon & Enterprise Earth. Millvale.

412-821-4447.

RIVERTOWNE BREWING THE HOB NOB LOUNGE. King’s Ransom. West Mifflin.

COMPANY. Lenny Smith & 412-461-8541.

The Instant Gators. North Side.

MOONDOG’S. Norman Nardini.

724-519-2145.

Blawnox. 412-828-2040.

THE FUNHOUSE @ MR. SMALLS. MR. SMALLS THEATER. Raised By Wolves, Love Letters, Misaligned Mind, Woman, Qlitterati & ATS. Rock Against Delicious Pastries, Nox Boys & Trump! Donations at the door The Garment District. Millvale. to support the homeless, 412-821-4447.

LGBTQ/human/civil rights, STAGE AE. The Decemberists marijuana legalization, w/ Julien Baker. North anti-mountaintop coal Side. 412-229-5483. removal, religious VILLAGE TAVERN equality & nuclear & TRATTORIA. non-proliferation.

The Bo’Hog Brothers. www. per Millvale. 412-821-2308. a p West End. 412-458-0417. pghcity

FULL LIST ONLINE .com

SAT 08

BAJA BAR AND GRILL. Switch Band. Fox Chapel.

412-963-0640.

BALTIMORE HOUSE. Eagles Tribute. Pleasant Hills.

412-653-3800.

CLUB CAFE. Bill Toms & Hard Rain ft. The Soulville Horns w/ Chet Vincent & the Big Bend.

South Side. 412-431-4950.

DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Waiting For Ray. Robinson. 412-489-5631.

HAMBONE’S. Stephanie Nilles w/ Dorothy 6. Lawrenceville.

412-681-4318.

MP 3 MONDAY BINDLEY HARDWARE CO.

SUN 09 CLUB CAFE. The Weeks w/ The Lonely Biscuits The Weeks.

South Side. 412-431-4950.

THE R BAR. Billy The Kid & the Regulators. Dormont.

412-942-0882.

SPIRIT HALL & LODGE. DiCaprio, Derider & Bat Zuppel.

Lawrenceville. 412-586-4441.

STAGE AE. Killswitch Engage & Anthrax. North Side. 412-229-5483.

MON 10 CLUB CAFE. Delicate Steve w/ Grand Piano, Andre Costello & the Cool Minors. South Side.

412-431-4950.

TUE 11 DIESEL. Paralandra. South Side.

412-431-8800.

SPIRIT HALL & LODGE. Evolfo, Bad Custer, The Silver Thread.

Lawrenceville. 412-586-4441.

WED 12 DIESEL. K CAMP w/ Izzy Strange & Chorus. South Side. 412-431-8800.

DJS THU 06 BELVEDERE’S. NeoNoir Dark 80s w/ Erica Scary. Lawrenceville.

412-687-2555.

MR. SMALLS THEATER. Centrifuge Thursdays. At the Funhouse. Millvale. 412-821-4447.

PERLE CHAMPAGNE BAR. Bobby D Bachata. Downtown.

412-471-2058.

FRI 07 ANDYS WINE BAR. DJ Malls Spins Vinyl. Downtown. 412-773-8884.

BRILLOBOX. Pandemic : Global Dancehall, Cumbia, Bhangra, Balkan Bass. Bloomfield.

412-621-4900.

THE FLATS ON CARSON. Pete Butta. South Side. 412-586-7644.

ONE 10 LOUNGE. DJ Goodnight, DJ Rojo. Downtown. 412-874-4582.

Each week, we post a song from a local artist online. Today, it’s the raucous, wicked-fun “All Right, Already!” from Bindley Hardware Co. This is country-fied rock by the books, with a simple but charming lyrical premise and some of the finest bass work in town. (Song’s got a killer video, too.)

Stream or download the track for free at FFW>>, the music blog at pghcitypaper.com.

CONTINUES ON PG. 24

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CONCERTS, CONTINUED FROM PG. 23

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance.

South Side. 412-431-2825.

RUGGER’S PUB. 80s Night w/ DJ Connor. South Side. 412-381-1330.

Diamonds. Blawnox. 412-828-9842.

SAT 08

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Feral Cat. Speakeasy.

Roger Humphries Jam Session.

Ballroom. North Side. 412-904-3335.

VALLOZZI’S PITTSBURGH. Eric Johnson. Downtown. 412-394-3400.

BELVEDERE’S. Dirty South Night w/ DJ ADMC. Lawrenceville.

412-687-2555.

BRADDOCK ELKS. Zardonic!

Braddock. 412-513-5005.

DIESEL. DJ CK. South Side.

412-431-8800.

PERLE CHAMPAGNE BAR. DJ Tenova. ladies night.

Downtown. 412-471-2058.

REMEDY. Feeling Without Touching.

Lawrenceville. 412-781-6771.

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance.

South Side. 412-431-2825.

TUE 11 THE GOLDMARK. Pete Butta.

Reggae & dancehall. Lawrenceville.

412-688-8820.

WED 12 SMILING MOOSE. Rock Star Karaoke w/ T-MONEY. South Side.

412-431-4668.

SPOON. Spoon Fed. East Liberty.

412-362-6001.

BLUES

JAZZ THU 06

THE SPACE UPSTAIRS. Second Saturdays. Jazz-happening series feat. live music, multimedia experimentations, more. Hosted

by The Pillow Project. Point Breeze.

412-225-9269.

SUN 09

EMMANUEL EPISCOPAL CHURCH. Jazz at Emmanuel. The service is titled “Lonely Heart”.

Our musicians include Dr. James Johnson, Jr, Pamela Johnson, ANDORA RESTAURANT Lou Schreiber, Tony - FOX CHAPEL. Pianist DePaolis, James Harry Cardillo & vocalist Johnson III and guest Charlie Sanders. Fox artists. North Side. . w w w Chapel. 412-967-1900.

412-231-0454. aper p ty ci h g p JAMES STREET JAMES STREET .com GASTROPUB & GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Lee Robinson SPEAKEASY. Antoinette & ISKA. Speakeasy. Soul Chronicles Manganas. North Side. feat. Poogie Bell & Kendra Ross.

412-904-3335.

North Side. 412-904-3335.

ROCKS LANDING BAR & GRILLE. Tony Campbell & the Jazz Surgery.

McKees Rocks. 412-857-5809.

ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM. Sound Series: Peter Evans Septet.

North Side. 412-237-8300.

HAMBONE’S. Ian Kane, Ronnie CITY OF ASYLUM @ ALPHABET Weiss & Tom Boyce. Jazz Standards, CITY. The Daniel Bennett Group. showtunes & blues. Lawrenceville.

North Side. 412-435-1110.

412-681-4318.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Tony Campbell Jam Session. North Side. 412-904-3335.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB THE MONROEVILLE RACQUET & SPEAKEASY. George Heid III, CLUB. Jazz Bean Live. Every Sam Harris, Tony Depaolis & Eric Saturday, a different band.

Susoeff. North Side. 412-904-3335.

Monroeville. 412-728-4155.

RIVERS CASINO. Roger Barbour RIVERS CLUB. Jessica Lee & Band. North Side. 412-231-7777.

FRI 07

FULL LIST ONLINE

SAT 08

MON 10

TUE 11

SAT 08 CLUB CAFE. Bill Toms & Hard Rain feat. The Soulville Horns, Chet Vincent & The Big Bend.

South Side. 412-431-4950.

STARLITE LOUNGE. Jack of

WED 12

LET S GET ’

S CIAL

Friends. Downtown. 412-391-5227.

ACOUSTIC THU 06 DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Scott & Roseanna. Robinson. 412-489-5631.

ELWOOD’S PUB. West Deer Bluegrass Review. Rural Ridge.

724-265-1181.

FRI 07 BOTTLEBRUSH GALLERY & SHOP. Tom Mason & Clint Hoover.

Harmony. 724-452-0539.

FRIDAY FAITH CAFE. Soldiers & Sons. Washington. 724-222-1563.

SAT 08 BEER HEAD BAR. Right TurnClyde.

North Side. 412-322-2337.

FIRST UNITARIAN CHURCH. Jesse Milnes & Emily Miller, Red Tail Ring.

Shadyside. 412-621-8008.

HAMBONE’S. Ukulele Jam. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

WED 12 ALLEGHENY ELKS LODGE #339.

Pittsburgh Banjo Club. Wednesdays.

North Side. 412-321-1834.

CLUB CAFE. Great Lake Swimmers.

South Side. 412-431-4950.

PARK HOUSE. Shelf Life String Band. North Side. 412-224-2273.

PENN HEBRON GARDEN CLUB. Penn Hills Coffeehouse. Singer songwriter showcase featuring a rotating lineup of jazz, acoustic, bluegrass & world music. Penn Hills.

412-204-7147.

WHEELFISH. Jason Born. Ross.

412-487-8909.

REGGAE THU 06 PIRATA. The Flow Band.

Downtown. 412-323-3000.

FRI 07 565 LIVE. The Flow Band w/ Joe Spliff Finney Junior, Deb Star, Sam Fingers, D. Lane.

412-522-7556.

CAPRI PIZZA AND BAR. Bombo Claat w/ VYBZ Machine Intl Sound System. East Liberty. 412-362-1250.

THU 06 STAGE AE. Billy Currington.

North Side. 412-229-5483.

SAT 08 JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. Eldorado, Brokn’ Pic & Frank Vieira.

Warrendale. 724-799-8333.

CLASSICAL FRI 07

@PGHCITYPAPER Ř FACEBOOK.COM/PITTSBURGHCITYPAPER

24

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 04.05/04.12.2017

BROOKLYN, N.Y. {APRIL 6-11}

LCD Soundsystem Brooklyn Steel

LAKEWOOD, OHIO

SUN 09

COUNTRY

)ROORZ XV WR ƓQG RXW ZKDWōV KDSSHQLQJ

These tours aren’t slated to come to Pittsburgh, but maybe they’re worth a road trip!

CHATHAM BAROQUE: SONGS AND SONATAS OF OLDE ENGLAND. Experience 17thcentury London with lute songs by John Dowland and theater songs

by Henry Purcell, all ranging from the tender to the bawdy. We also serve up a variety of superb English instrumental music, including the

{FRI., MAY 26}

Diet Cig, Cayetana, Petal, Slingshot Dakota Mahall’s

PHILADELPHIA {TUE., MAY 16}

WAVVES The Foundry exquisite Royal Consorts of Henry Lawes for two violins, two viols, and two theorbos. With Pascale Beaudin (soprano), Dongmyung Ahn (violin), Martha McGaughey (viola da gamba), and David Walker (theorbo). Westminster Presbyterian Church, Upper St. Clair. 412-687-1788.

DOHNÁNYI CONDUCTS BRAHMS. Heinz Hall, Downtown.

412-392-4900.

SAT 08 CHATHAM BAROQUE: SONGS AND SONATAS OF OLDE ENGLAND. Experience 17thcentury London with lute songs by John Dowland and theater songs

by Henry Purcell, all ranging from the tender to the bawdy. We also serve up a variety of superb English instrumental music, including the exquisite Royal Consorts of Henry Lawes for two violins, two viols, and two theorbos. With Pascale Beaudin (soprano), Dongmyung Ahn (violin), Martha McGaughey (viola da gamba), and David Walker (theorbo). St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church, Highland Park.

412-687-1788.

SUN 09 CHATHAM BAROQUE: SONGS AND SONATAS OF OLDE ENGLAND. Experience 17thcentury London with lute songs by John Dowland and theater songs

by Henry Purcell, all ranging from the tender to the bawdy. We also serve up a variety of superb English

instrumental music, including the exquisite Royal Consorts of Henry Lawes for two violins, two viols, and two theorbos. With Pascale Beaudin (soprano), Dongmyung Ahn (violin), Martha McGaughey (viola da gamba), and David Walker (theorbo). Campbell Memorial Chapel, Squirrel Hill.

412-687-1788.

DOHNÁNYI CONDUCTS BRAHMS. Heinz Hall, Downtown.

412-392-4900.

OTHER MUSIC THU 06 LINDEN GROVE. Karaoke.

Castle Shannon. 412-882-8687.

SAT 08 KEYSTONE OAKS HIGH SCHOOL. “Sounds of the Rivers” w/ Dennis James. River-themed music w/ vocalist Jen Conklin, demonstration of an air-powered calliope, Buster Keaton’s silent “Steamboat Bill Jr.” accompanied by Dennis James on the PATOS Wurlitzer pipe organ.

Dormont. 412-241-8108.

MEADOWS CASINO. Jimbo & the Soupbones. Washington.

724-503-1200.

TEUTONIA MÄNNERCHOR. Spring German Music Show.

North Side. 412-668-2960.

TUE 11 CLUB CAFE. Vieux Farka Toure.

South Side. 412-431-4950.

What to do IN PITTSBURGH

April 5-11 WEDNESDAY 5 Erra

SMILING MOOSE South Side.

412-431-4668.

With special guests Phinehas, Auras, Seven Remedies & Nullity. All ages show.

Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 6p.m.

Devin the Dude REX THEATER South Side.

412-381-1681.

With special guests Billy Pilgrim, LAZYBLACKMAN, ChainGang & Prospectz Nation. Over 18 show.

Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8:30p.m.

Bon Jovi PPG PAINTS ARENA Downtown.

Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. 7:30p.m.

THURSDAY 6

Childers & Buffalo Rose.

Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 6:30p.m.

Wild With Happy

LEWIS BLACK HEINZ HALL APRIL 8

CITY THEATRE COMPANY South Side.

Tickets: citytheatrecompany. org or 412-431-2489.

Through May 7.

Billy Currington STAGE AE North Side.

With special guest Jillian Jacqueline. All ages show.

Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000.

Doors open at 7p.m.

Lewis Black - The Rant, White & Blue Tour HEINZ HALL Downtown.

Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. 8p.m.

Collaborators

Misaligned Mind, wwoman, Delicious Pastries, Nox Boys & The Garment District

FRIDAY 75

MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-421-4447.

All ages show. Tickets: ticket web.com/opusone. 8p.m.

MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-421-4447.

With special guests Ice Nine Kills, Gideon, Enterprise Earth & Deathbed. All ages show. Tickets: ticketweb.com/ opusone. 6:30p.m.

Mipso

Big Mean Sound Machine

HARD ROCK CAFE Station Square.

412-481-ROCK. With special guests Tyler

REX THEATER South Side.

412-381-1681. With special guest Starship Mantis.

Over 21 show. Tickets:

Uncle Tom’s Cabin

The Decemberists

Tickets: carnegielibrary.org/

Cocktails & Kryptonite CARNEGIE LIBRARY Oakland. Over 21 event.

@paulvalerio

SUNDAY 9

STOMP

SMILING MOOSE South Side.

412-431-4668. All ages show.

Tickets: ticketfly.com or

SATURDAY 8

@crabbymum

TUESDAY 11

ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM North Side. For tickets and more info visit warhol.org.

8p.m.

Astronoid

afterhours. 7p.m.

PITTSBURGH PLAYHOUSE Oakland. Tickets: pittsburgh playhouse.com.

Through Apr. 16.

Sound Series: Peter Evans Septet

STAGE AE North Side.

With special guest Julien Baker. Tickets: ticketmaster. com or 1-800-745-3000.

Doors open at 7p.m. greyareaprod.com. 9p.m.

STAGE AE North Side.

With special guests The Devil Wears Prada & Jasta.

All ages show.

Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000.

Doors open at 6p.m.

MONDAY 10

QUANTUM THEATRE East Liberty. 412-362-1713.

Tickets: quantumtheatre.com.

Through Apr. 30.

Chelsea Grin

Killswitch Engage & Anthrax

BENEDUM CENTER Downtown. 412-456-6666.

Tickets: trustarts.org.

Through Apr. 15.

@trippac

Thanks for sharing your photos with us!

Tag your photos of Pittsburgh on Instagram with #CPReaderArt, and we’ll regram our favorites!

pghcitypaper

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[DANCE]

LIGHT MOVES

IT OUTLINES A NAGGING PROBLEM

Miwa Matreyek might still be working in commercial animation, she says, had she not thought to incorporate herself into her animations. As in February’s performance here by dance company Pilobolus in Shadowland, the Los Angeles-based animator, director and designer appears in her works as a shadow figure, but one who interacts live with recorded imagery. The effect is magical and something audiences around the globe have marveled at.

Martreyek, a 2007 graduate of CalArts with a master’s degree in experimental animation and integrated media, says that while in school she started collaborating with people in theater and puppetry. It got her thinking about animation and video projected on a screen as something she could interact with as an environment.

Her resulting works combining elements of collage animation and live shadow silhouette have been seen at Sundance New Frontier, Lincoln Center, Adler Planetarium, Meta.Morph (Norway) and REDCAT. Matreyek makes her Pittsburgh debut on Sat., April 8, at the Carnegie Museum of Natural History’s Hall of Mammals in two shows of two solos, each performed back to back, as part of the Strange Times series, co-presented with Carnegie Nexus.

The older of the two, 2010’s “Myth and Infrastructure,” was her first real foray into the medium of animation and performance, says Mastreyek by phone from Los Angeles. The 17-minute piece, set to original music by her friends, the composers Anna Oxygen, Caroline and Mileece, “is about the power of imagination and creativity,” she says. Matreyek creates a world where everyday household objects come to life in fantastical ways.

Conversely, the 30-minute “This World Made Itself” (2013) is a journey through the history of the earth. Performed to music by Flying Lotus, Careful (a.k.a.

Eric Lindley) and Mileece, the piece plays like skipping through the pages of a children’s encyclopedia “from the universe’s epic beginnings to the complex world of humanity.”

The award-winning artist says she has always been interested in “big picture” themes in her works. “I have never made a boy-meets-girl standard storyline, nor have I had characters in my works,” says Matreyek. “Even ‘the shadow’ in my works has been a larger-than-life representation of consciousness and humanity.”

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

MIWA MATREYEK performs THIS WORLD MADE ITSELF and MYTH & INFRASTRUCTURE 6 and 8 p.m. Sat., April 8. Carnegie Museum of Natural History, 4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $12-15.

412-237-8300 or www.warhol.org

26

Miwa Matreyek in “This World Made Itself” {PHOTO COURTESY OF AHRUM HONG}

{BY STEVE SUCATO}

Julie A. Wilson (left) and Emily Chivers Yoachim, authors of Mothering Through Precarity

[BOOKS]

MOTHERS ON THE EDGE {BY AMANI NEWTON}

N

ANCY ALWAYS wanted a baby. And it was important for her to do things the “right way.” So, Nancy went to school, and got a job. Then she met a man, they got married, and Nancy had a baby boy.

At first, Nancy envisioned doing what her own mother did, staying home while her kids were young. Nancy hated the idea of day care, but quitting work wasn’t an option financially. So, Nancy changed her mind about day care. Now she appreciates visiting her son during her lunch breaks. The thing is, Nancy had ideas about what kind of mother she would be, centered on her confidence that she would be home. She knew all about sleep training, and planned on being strict. Now she feels guilty. “If I was home during the day it wouldn’t bother me,” she says. “But I’m

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 04.05/04.12.2017

gone all day, and he’s with someone else ... this is our only time.”

But Nancy knows she’s lucky, so she doesn’t dwell on how her life differs from the life she wanted and expected. “Some days I’m like, ‘Oh, this isn’t so bad. We’ve got it.’ ... [T]hen other days I’m like, ‘I can-

MANY MOTHERS ENTER THE “MAMASPHERE.” not do this ... We’re falling apart ... We don’t have clean clothes.’ So it’s kind of a day-today up-and-down kind of thing. But it’s overall working pretty well.” Nancy says this last part through tears. Her husband, Jeff, is expecting a layoff.

Nancy is one of many Christian, workingclass, Rust Belt mothers interviewed by

Allegheny College professors Julie A. Wilson and Emily Chivers Yoachim in their new book, Mothering Through Precarity: Women’s Work and Digital Media (Duke University Press). Despite its leaden title, women, with children or without, have a lot to gain from this smart, insightful work. It outlines a nagging problem so specific I lacked a clear definition of it before I started reading.

Nancy, and many American women, including myself, simultaneously harbor a conscious desire for a family, and a somewhat unconscious, all-American desire for an autonomous family. Bob Dole once famously said that it doesn’t take a village to raise a child, it takes a family to raise a child. It’s an idea rooted directly in our dominant political ideology, one that many cannot name: neoliberalism.

ID CHECK

Art by Francis Crisafio

{BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

MUSIC

TRUSTARTS.ORG • BOX OFFICE AT THEATER SQUARE APRIL 11-16 • HEINZ HALL 412-392-4900 • GROUPS 10+ TICKETS 412-471-6930 PNC Broadway in Pittsburgh is a presentation of the Pittsburgh Cultural Trust, Pittsburgh Symphony and Broadway Across America.

BY

DRISCOLL@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

JOHN HODGE DIRECTED BY

FELLOWSHIP 17 continues through April 15. Silver Eye Center at Filmmakers Galleries, 477 Melwood Ave., Oakland. www.silvereyecenter.org +

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Through April

30

Moscow, 1938. A dangerous place to have a sense of humor; even more so a sense of freedom. quantumtheatre.com 412.362.1713

The London Times

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The artists in Silver Eye Center for Photography’s Fellowship 17 explore identity from two different angles.

Kris Sanford, chosen by Arizona-based juror Rebecca Serf for the International Award, offers Through The Lens of Desire: two dozen repurposed found snapshots from the 1920s through the ‘50s, each depicting two people of the same gender.

All of the images capture affection expressed, from two jaunty men in frock coats, arms around each other’s shoulders, to two women in fancy dresses holding hands. The Michigan-based Sanford’s artist statement explains that she “grew up queer” and intends here to create “an imaginary queer past” for these partners.

With the subjects’ faces cropped out, and each black-and-white image vignetted by a frame for a peep-hole view, Sanford’s point seems quickly made. But linger. In a couple images, one member of the pair seems more invested in togetherness, leaning toward or twining an arm around a less engaged pal. Here, perhaps, lies longing. Maybe those “imaginary histories” are more real than we imagine.

Serf’s pick for the Keystone Award, for Pennsylvania-based photographers, was Pittsburgh’s Francis Crisafio, who exhibits 32 images from his remarkable long-running project HOLDUP in The HOOD. Crisafio and collaborator Meda Rago led mostly AfricanAmerican schoolkids from the Manchester neighborhood in creating self-portraits, and he photographed them holding the results in front of their real faces.

The pencil drawings often suggest subjects a bit older than the hands grasping the paper indicate. We never see the actual kids, who were likely told not to smile in their portraits, most of which wear dignified, even heartbreakingly serious expressions. One has anxiously twisted lips; a few look ready to take on the world.

Perhaps most striking are the selfportraits crafted from magazine cutouts.

One kid made a mask of a lion’s face; another of a stern-looking black man; a third of a white female model’s face, his real eyes peering through scissored holes.

And what to make of the collage with a hummingbird for a face, a human model’s eye and mouth, machine parts for the other eye, and grapefruit-section ears?

Or of the mask fashioned from some magazine’s densely packed environmental portrait of a bearded man wearing a hat that reads “White Trash,” and sitting in what looks like his bunker? These images will haunt you for while.

"Rare and special... and it's seriously funny."

INFO@ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

NEWS

OPENS NEXT WEEK!

[ART REVIEW]

BEHIND BAKERY SQUARE

“[Neoliberalism] says the private market can do everything better than any state or public infrastructure can,” Wilson says, on a recent video call with Yoachim. (Both are professors of communication arts and theater.) “It grew out of a reaction to the New Deal [and] came to prominence with [President Ronald] Reagan. All of our administrations since Reagan have been very neoliberal, [both] Republican and Democrat. ... They are about steering the nation towards global competition and the markets, versus the older idea that the state should be there to provide basic safety nets that were public. We’re supposed to take more and more personal responsibility for ourselves, regardless of what’s going on with us, in order to compete in the market.”

Like Nancy, my own mother stayed home while I was small, and like Nancy, I have some desire to do the same. However, I have long been acutely aware that the numbers don’t add up. Taking on the cost of raising a child ($233,610, not counting college, according to a 2017 CNN Money article) seems irresponsible without a plan for how I’ll make that money over the next 17 years.

The knowledge that neoliberalism makes economic insecurity indivisible from motherhood today is central to the book. After Nancy’s husband, Jeff, loses his job, for instance, it adds an immense amount of pressure to her family. But many mothers in the book recoil instinctively from the idea of public assistance. “We’re all subject to the general precariousness of life itself,” Wilson says. “What neoliberalism does is subject everyone to precarity in a structural sense, because it says you’re responsible for yourself, you have to manage risks, you have to take personal responsibility for the conditions of your life. That no one’s gonna be here for you.”

To gain security in a world where mothers’ labor is unpaid, but paid labor and participation in the market are a financial and moral imperative, many mothers enter the “mamasphere,” finding important financial and emotional support online.

This finding surprised the authors. “We expected to hear more about television shows,” Wilson tells me. “It really became more about how the internet undergirds their lives, which are overloaded because of economic insecurity.”

“We were trying to think about [how] media and mother’s labor is working together,” Yoachim adds. “Pushing beyond the mommy-wars stuff you hear … like working moms versus stay-at-home moms.” Those ideas are mostly disingenuous, and support the neoliberal agenda of family life being a private sphere. I, for one, am glad to know that online at least, there’s a village.

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{PHOTO COURTESY OF PITT STAGES}

Peter and the Starcatcher at Pitt Stages

[PLAY REVIEWS]

SUBWAYS {BY HARRY KLOMAN} IT’S A DARK and stormy night when a Pittsburgh subway train gets stuck under Mount Washington during a power outage, leaving 10 diverse characters in search of sex, validation, redemption, heaven, a tall cold one and, in the end, an author.

Pittsburgh playwright Steve Hallock’s affable Lights Out, a world premiere at Pittsburgh Playwrights Theatre Co., directed by Cheryl El-Walker, is never dull, but it’s also never as absorbing as it could be.

That’s the result, I think, more of its foundation than its potential.

The characters are pretty stock, which is fine: Egos aside, aren’t we all? But there’s a point at which you simply have to go for it, and Lights Out gets them only halfway there.

from their pasts about another blackout they experienced, three of which involve death, and one that involves sex.

And as I watched those moments — the mannequin device was awkward, the soliloquies a mixed success — I began to wish Hallock had created one big bold abstraction, where the stranded passengers barely talk to each other (if at all), and where we hear just their intermingled inner monologues, bringing them all together and apart in philosophy and experience without their ever knowing it.

The buoyant Connor McCanlus has the most to say as a loquacious-cumobnoxious faux-ciologist who sees his fellow travelers as lab rats for his scholarship, and who types his interpretations on a laptop, occasionally sharing his hackneyed wis-dumb in voiceover.

The burly Sam Lothard delivers the most effective flashback, a reflection on how, in the dark, we can’t see our ethnic and racial differences.

But the most credible characters are the bearded guy in the Pirates jersey (Michael Lane Sullivan) and the frisky blonde (Jenny Malarkey) with whom he chats, busses and manages to arrange a dinner date. (He’s a student chef, so he’ll cook.) I don’t quite believe they’d start smooching right there on the train, but they’re still about as recognizably Pittsburgh as Lights Out gets.

IT’S NEVER DULL, BUT IT’S ALSO NEVER AS ABSORBING AS IT COULD BE.

LIGHTS OUT continues through April 15. Pittsburgh Playwrights Theatre Co., 937 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $22.50. www.pghplaywrights.org

Three of the characters’ companions on the train are mannequins, and the living actors converse with them. Almost all of the characters eventually step forward into a spotlight to tell a poignant story

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 04.05/04.12.2017

NEVERLAND HO!

COLOR LINES

{BY TED HOOVER}

{BY STUART SHEPPARD}

ADAPTED FROM a novel by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson, Peter and the Starcatcher, now at University of Pittsburgh Stages, is the origin story of Peter Pan and others from J. Barrie’s classic tale. But Rick Elice’s 2009 adaptation, an Off-Broadway and Broadway hit, is nothing less than a celebration of show biz itself.

An orphaned boy with no name (guess who) joins forces with a young girl, Molly, guarding a trunk filled with bits of fallen stars which possess great magical powers. And there’s an evil pirate named Black Stache who, at some point, looks likely to have his hand replaced by a hook. The boy, Molly and Stache, along with various pirates, Jack Tars, island natives and one crocodile, get mashed together in a story spanning the turbulent seas and a beautiful tropical paradise.

BALTIMORE IS the kind of play that is relevant more than it is revelatory. It adroitly captures the divergent mores of contemporary race relations. But this 2015 work

by Kirsten Greenidge (and now at University of Pittsburgh Stages) will probably become dated, because as exemplary as it is in reproducing the language of racial and gender issues, it gets stuck in the muck of it, trying to think for the audience, instead of leading the audience to think for itself.

Director Ricardo Vila-Roger does an excellent job of transforming the often didactic text into believable dialogue among the characters at an imaginary college, where a racial slur has blossomed contentiously on social media.

Daria M. Sullivan delivers a strong performance as Shelby, the resident adviser who hides behind her cell phone instead of intervening to quell the growing maelstrom in her dorm. We all know this young person, who thinks life is what is put on a résumé, not what is actually lived.

Fiona (Gabrielle Kogut), who is white, insists that because she has been called “snowball” back home, she has the right to make a racial joke about her black classmate Alyssa (Tyler Cruz).

The other students take various positions, including Rachel (Sophia Rodriguez), who insists that she is “Latina” and not “Hispanic,” and has a lot of fun with lines like “post-racial, post-my ass.” Carson (Charles Kronk) is a white nerd who talks of “a metric system of race” and tries to gain credibility by hinting that he’s not sure whether he’s gay, plus he “has a Chinese grandmother.” The sardonic Leigh (Maya Boyd) sees life in Manichean terms, and is the most offended.

PETER AND THE STARCATCHER continues through Sun., April 9. Charity Randall Theatre, 4301 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $12-25. 412-624-7529 or www.play.pitt.edu

The plot, though, hardly matters. The entire evening is an occasion of theater —specifically the imagination of theater, and how seasoned comedy performers can dream up worlds of entertainment out of a nothing but a few props, hard work and razzle-dazzle.

Director Kathryn Markey and her gungho student cast can’t be accused of holding back: Everyone gives their all, and the level of commitment is through the roof. This very large cast is having a great deal of fun, and works overtime to generate that enjoyment in the audience.

All things considered, they don’t do half badly. Hsuan Chang and Tanner Prime play Molly and Peter with enormous sweet sincerity. Zachary Romah and Brendan Karras are very funny in supporting roles, and Dennis Schebetta attacks Stache like a dog chomping a bone.

The one drawback is, perhaps, that it’s all too much. There are too many performers on stage (this production nearly doubles the cast size); there’s too much set (it should be just a couple of ladders and boxes, not these very location-specific designs); and too much in the way of unfocused playing and hazy stage patterns in a comedy requiring an achingly perfected, laser-sharp performance style.

So I can’t say this production hits the available heights, but in the attempt, it scores an evening of fun.

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OPENS NEXT WEEK!

APRIL 11 – 15, 2017 • BENEDUM CENTER

TRUSTARTS.ORG • BOX OFFICE AT THEATER SQUARE •412-456-6666 • GROUPS 10+ TICKETS 412-471-6930

Jewish Federation of Greater Pittsburgh presents a live multimedia performance event

Thursday, April 27th • 7:00pm New Hazlett Theater

BALTIMORE continues through Sun., April 9.

Henry Heymann Theatre, 4301 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $12-12.50. 412-624-7529 or www.play.pitt.edu

6 Allegheny Square E, Pittsburgh, PA 15212 ISRAEL STORY is an Israeli podcast that shares stories about Israel’s diversity and culture.

The dialogue veers from hip to preachy to gratuitous, and some lines, like Shelby’s “My world view is a bunch of memes cut and pasted together,” feel like they’re waiting for a rim shot. The cacophony scenes, which say nothing, say the most, with all the characters circling the set and talking at once. Vila-Roger stages these moments to powerful effect.

Leenie Baker’s lighting, and MarkoWest’s sound designs, keep the show glowing and flowing.

INFO@ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

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For tickets, register at jfedpgh.org/Israel-Story.

For questions or to make requests for special accommodations contact eprobola@jfedpgh.org or 412.992.5247 Supported by the Naomi & Nehemiah Cohen Foundation of the Jewish Community Foundation of Greater Pittsburgh.

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FOR THE WEEK OF

04.06-04.13.17 Full events listed online at www.pghcitypaper.com On paper it seems unlikely: a musical adaptation of a graphic novel/memoir about a middle-aged lesbian ruminating on her strained relationship with her longdead father. But the Broadway production of Fun Home won five Tony awards in 2015: best new musical, best performance by a leading actor, best direction of a musical (Sam Gold), best book (Lisa Kron), and best score (music by Jeanine Tesori, lyrics by Kron). It broke ground with the first all-female writing team ever to win best musical, and as the first Broadway

show with a lesbian protagonist. Now Fun Home is touring after leaving Broadway late last year, and theater-goers have eight chances to experience it at Heinz Hall, April 11-16, courtesy of PNC Broadway in Pittsburgh. Kate Shindle stars as Alison Bechdel, the award-winning writer and artist of comic strip “Dykes To Watch Out For,” who ponders her past. Robert Petkoff plays Bruce, Alison’s mortician father who runs their home like a fascist country, while struggling with his sexuality. Susan Moniz plays Helen, Alison’s mom, and Alessandra Baldacchino joins the cast directly from Broadway as Small Alison. Baldacchino will sing “Ring of Keys,” the paean to discovering oneself that the producers chose to represent the show during the televised Tonys.

{ART BY RITA DUFFY}

^ Fri., April 7: so it is

thursday 04.06

BY AMANI NEWTON

7:30 p.m. Continues through Sun., April 16. 600 Penn Ave., Downtown. $26-77. 412-392-4900 or www.trustarts.org

Tuned gongs, drums, and metal-keyed instruments, plus bamboo flutes and vocals, make gamelan one of the world’s most distinctive musical traditions.

Tonight, Pitt’s University Gamelan gives its annual concert, a rare chance to see this hypnotic Indonesian music performed live. The concert at Frick Fine Arts Auditorium,

Inspired by Gamelan: Music by Indonesian and Western Composers, features student performers and two artists in residence: bamboo flautist Endang Sukandar and Endang Rukandi, a master of the music of West Java. 8 p.m. Sat., April 8. 650 Schenley Drive, Oakland. $5-12. 412-624-7529 or www.pitt.edu/tickets

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STAGE In 1938, Stalin’s secret police gave famed dissendent Mikail Bulgakov a choice: To premiere his new play, Molière, he must write a flattering work about the Soviet dictator as a youth. Collaborators, Trainspotting screenwriter John Hodge’s 2011 dark comedy inspired by real events, won Britain’s Olivier Award for best new play. The Pittsburgh premiere is a Kafka-esque Quantum Theatre production staged in a warehouse in Larimer. Jed Allen Harris directs this exploration of selling one’s artistic soul to save it, featuring local favorites Tony Bingham (Bulgakov) and Martin Giles (Stalin). Bill O’Driscoll 8 p.m. Continues through April 30. 6500 Hamilton Ave., Larimer. $18-51. 412362-1713 or www.quantumtheatre.com

STAGE Point Park University Conservatory Theater closes its season with a new take on Uncle Tom’s Cabin. Subtitled “The Most Popular American Play You’ve Never Seen,” Tomé Cousins and Jason Jacobs’ adaptation keeps the framework of George Aiken’s 1852 blockbuster, while incorporating elements from Harriet Beecher Stowe’s famous novel that Aiken condensed or abandoned. The troupe promises that this adaptation “reflects modern concepts and gives insight into the classic” with contemporary

theatrical techniques. Cousins and Jacobs direct; the first performance is tonight. Amani Newton 8 p.m. Continues through April 16. Rauh Theater, 222 Craft Ave., Oakland. $10-24. 412-392-8000 or www.pittsburghplayhouse.com

friday 04.07 ART Why Non-Punk Pittsburgh? In the late 1970s and early ’80s, Pittsburgh’s “wasn’t a punk scene like the rest of the world was having, it was more of an explosion of creativity.

It was the beginning of Pittsburgh’s transition from smoky old town to the renaissance city we live and work in today.” So says Dennis Childers, who along with Larry Rippel, co-curated this SPACE Gallery retrospective of music and art. The scene boasted seminal bands like the Cardboards (pictured here at the Mattress Factory), Carsickness and The Five, plus painters, poets, filmmakers and more. Special events (including an April 21 Carsickness album release!) mark the exhibit’s run; an opening reception is tonight.

BO 5:30-10 p.m. (free). Exhibit continues through June 18. 812 Liberty Ave., Downtown.

412-325-7723 or www.spacepittsburgh.org ^ Thu., April 6: Uncle Tom’s Cabin {PHOTO COURTESY OF JOHN ALTDORFER}

[DAILY RUNDOWN]

{PHOTO BY LARRY RIPPEL}

^ Fri., April 7: Non-Punk Pittsburgh

ART Tonight, The Mattress Factory’s Monterey Street annex hosts the opening reception for so it is. Curated by Carnegie Mellon University professor John Carson, the exhibition features installations created in-residence by seven artists from Northern Ireland, all of whom experienced the Troubles, the violent 30-year conflict between British loyalists and the IRA. Carson and the featured artists worked while (and in response to) living in a divided society, and their work contemplates disunity in the United States today.

AN Reception: 6-8 p.m. (free).

Exhibit continues through Aug. 7. 1414 Monterey St., North Side. 412-231-3169 or www.mattress.org

A newsletter you’ll actually want to read.

ART Criminal-justice reform, including expanding parole eligibility for lifers, is the aim of Contraband, opening tonight at BOOM Concepts as part of Penn Avenue’s monthly gallery crawl Unblurred. Featured are paintings on leaves — a.k.a. prison contraband — by Todd “Hyung-Rae” Tarselli, {ART BY TODD “HYUNG-RAE” TARSELLI} who 25 years ago was sentenced to life ^ Fri., April 7: Contraband without parole for a homicide conviction he received as a juvenile. The exhibit includes portraits of women lifers by Mary Dewitt, and other art by prisoners. An auction includes 30-plus artworks by “outside” artists; proceeds benefit locally based advocacy group Let’s Get Free. BO 6-10 p.m. (speakers at 7 p.m.) 5139 Penn Ave., Garfield. www.facebook.com (“april unblurred contraband”)

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EVENT Multiple Choice Event night returns to the August Wilson Center, offering three activities to choose from and the option to pay for only what you want to do.

Visitors to this Pittsburgh Cultural Trust affair can pick between Sh!t-faced Shakespeare, a staging of A Midsummer Night’s Dream by one entirely wasted actor; the crAfter Party, where guests 21 and over will sample from Millvale CONTINUES ON PG. 32

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SHORT LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 31

EVERYONE IS A CRITIC

{ART BY ED PISKOR}

^ Sat., April 8: Hermetically Sealed: The Art of Ed Piskor

EVENT: Tony Campbell’s Jam Session, part of the Pittsburgh Fringe Festival, at James Street Gastropub, North Side

CRITIC: Megan

brewery Grist House Craft while helping build a cardboard city (destined for destruction at the next Multiple Choice); hanging out with friends at the food trucks; or all three.

AN 8 p.m. 980 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $0-25. 412-456-6666 or trustarts.org

saturday 04.08

Dandar,

43, a vocational case manager from Irwin

WHEN: Sat.,

April 01

I found out about this through a Facebook posting by my friend.

Her son is the keyboardist.

She posted that he had the opportunity to work with the gentleman that plays the sax, and I had never heard of him, but I enjoy jazz music and I thought, “I want to go see them.” So we drove out here; it took about a half an hour, but it was enjoyable. It’s an enjoyable, relaxing type of an evening.

You know, [James Street Gastropub and Speakeasy is] a great casual place.

Good drinks. I’d never even heard of it.

B Y A M A NI NEWTO N

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STAGE Starting tonight, City Theatre presents Wild With Happy, the 2012 Off-Broadway hit by Fear the Walking Dead actor and playwright Colman Domingo. The New York Times called the play, about a 40-year-old gay actor returning home to cremate his mother, “sweet and funny,” mining laughs from life’s absurdity. Reginald L. Douglas directs a cast including Corey Jones as Gil; tonight is the first performance. Special events during the show’s run include City Connects/ LOVE with Proud Haven, a program blending art and activism by pairing plays with relevant community organizations.

AN 5:30 p.m. Continues through May 7. 1300 Bingham St., South Side. $1569. 412-431-2489 or www. citytheatrecompany.org

comics journey, from teenage juvenilia copying superhero panels through his early pro work for the legendary Harvey Pekar and self-published hit Wizzywig, to the four-volume (so far) global phenomenon that is Piskor’s Hip Hop Family Tree. ToonSeum promises both quality and quantity, with hundreds of Piskor’s works displayed. Tonight’s opening reception doubles as the opening party for Sunday’s PIX indy-comics expo. BO Reception: 7-10 p.m. (free).

945 Liberty Ave., Downtown. www.toonseum.org

sunday 04.09 COMICS

The sixth annual Pittsburgh Indy Comix Expo sets up at the August Wilson Center. The all-day ToonSeum event celebrates creator-owned, self-published, small-press and handmade comics, with some 50 exhibitors from Pittsburgh and around the country.

Across the street, at The ToonSeum, panel discussions feature guests including Anya Davidson (Band for Life); Closed Captions Comics co-founder Lane Milburn; Carol Tyler (You’ll Never Know); and local heros Ed Piskor (Hip Hop Family Tree) and Jim Rugg, the latter ART premiering his Street Angel Local gallerygoers know After School Kung Fu Special. ^ Sun., April 9: “Life and Dreams in the Burgh” Ryder Henry’s richly PIX also offers comics workdetailed scale-model shops and more. BO 11 a.m.spaceships and futuristic cities made from reclaimed 6 p.m. 980 Liberty Ave., Downtown. Free. www.pixcomics.org materials. Henry’s footprint grows with There Is More to Explore, a big solo show at UnSmoke Systems Artspace.

SCREEN The exhibit of spaceships, architectural constructions and Russian-born, New York-based artist and writer Tatiana oil paintings was inspired by a 1950s science-fiction novel Istomina explores mysteries of Pittsburgh in her new film, that imagined the cities of earth flung into space by “Life and Dreams in the Burgh.” In 2015, as a City of Asylum antigravity machines. An opening reception is tonight. BO visiting artist, Istomina interviewed 14 Pittsburghers, from a 6-9 p.m. (free). Exhibit continues through April 30. 1137 medical student and an artist to a dishwasher and a foster Braddock Ave., Braddock. www.unsmokeartspace.com mother of six. Digital animation, found footage and original imagery from locally based artists Sofia Sandoval and Emily ART Newman help round out the 47-minute work. Istomina The ToonSeum honors one of Pittsburgh’s great recent will do a Q&A after the film’s free premiere screening, this home-grown artistic successes with Hermetically Sealed: The afternoon at Alphabet City. BO 3 p.m. 40 W. North Ave., Art of Ed Piskor. The new exhibit tracks this Munhall native’s North Side. Free. www.cityofasylum.org

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A COLD SALAD OF BRAISED OCTOPUS, RED POTATOES AND CELERY WAS SUPERB

WINTER FEASTS {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL} The opening of the Café Carnegie this past December was something new for more than visitors to the Carnegie Museums of Art and Natural History, who were long used to cafeteria-style lunches in the museum’s lobby: Now they could enjoy a full-service restaurant, plus a wine, beer and coffee bar. It was also a big change for Sonja Finn, the Dinette chef and owner who’s the new restaurant’s executive chef.

Finn is celebrated for her use of local and seasonal ingredients. But managing that fea(s)t was easier at Dinette, where she could revise the menu daily, if necessary, to accommodate what was available from area producers during long Pittsburgh winters. At Café Carnegie, working under food-service provider Culinaire, she’d need to maintain the same menu all winter, and then some.

It took research, and ingenuity. Finn uses standbys like Jamison Farms Lamb and Penn’s Corner Farm Alliance, and has added greenhouse-grown salad greens, from Who Cooks For You. Of course, on a menu that includes a raw bar with Island Creek oysters on the half-shell, and starters like house-cured salmon, it’s not all local. But thanks to a handy sub of local chicken bones for beef broth, the French onion soup, for instance, is completely local, Finn says.

There’s also butternut squash soup, a roast-leg-of-lamb sandwich, and vegetable pot pie. All the bread is made on site, with local flour. Even the beer is neighborly (Full Pint, Grist House, East End, etc.) — though the wine list, admittedly, skews international.

“We’ve been able to continue to source locally even in the dead of winter and coming out of it,” says Finn.

Café Carnegie is open for lunch weekdays (closed Tuesdays), and until 8 p.m. Thursdays, plus weekend brunch hours; the coffee and wine/beer bar keeps longer hours. The restaurant, situated by those floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the museum’s landmark fountain and Forbes Avenue, will seat 100 with room for outdoor seating once the weather breaks. That’s probably also around the time spring produce season starts coming available.

“WE’VE BEEN ABLE TO CONTINUE TO SOURCE LOCALLY EVEN IN THE DEAD OF WINTER.”

DRISCOLL@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

{CP PHOTO BY VANESSA SONG}

Italiano panini with prosciutto, Genoa salami, soppressata, ham, lettuce, tomato, onion and spicy pepper-cherry relish

ALL-DAY ITALIAN {BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

J

USTLY RENOWNED for its food markets,

the Strip District is less of a destination for sit-down, social dining. It does have restaurants, and good ones. It’s just that, with Downtown at one end and Lawrenceville at the other, it’s tempting to see those more vigorous dining districts and skip right over the blocks in between.

Lately, though, we’re seeing signs that the Strip might be on the verge of bridging the gap with a dining culture of its own.

One such sign is DiAnoia’s in the little white building at the corner of Penn and 25th that, until recently, housed a bridal shop signified by an oversized wedding-cake topper.

As DiAnoia’s, the building still houses a marriage of sorts. Aimee DiAndrea and Dave Anoia have joined their names, their lives and their talents to create a sneakily ambitious Italian café, bakery, deli, bar,

4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. www.cmoa.org NEWS

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micro-market and casual sit-down restaurant. She decorates, he cooks, and the combination is a recipe for an instant destination.

DIANOIA’S EATERY 2549 Penn Ave., Strip District. 412-918-1875 HOURS: Café opens Tue.-Sat. 7 a.m.; breakfast Tue.-Sat. 8-11 a.m.; deli Tue.-Sat. 11 a.m.-5 p.m.; dinner Tue.-Thu. 5-9 p.m., Fri.-Sat. 5-10 p.m.; brunch Sunday 10 a.m.-2:30 p.m.

PRICES: Sides and antipasti $5-15; pasta and entrees $16-33 LIQUOR: Full bar

CP APPROVED DiAnoia’s interior is bright in both lighting and color scheme, dominated by cheerful whites and Adriatic blues. The dining room, with big garage doors facing the street corner, has intimate, marble-topped

café tables and one big, tall table for large groups topped with a lacquered slice of tree trunk. The other operations are on the other side of the floor plan, but a big doorway and an open set of shelves connect the two for a sense of harmony and exploration.

Similarly, a paper menu presents a simple selection of antipasto, pasta, entrees and sides. Simple, but ambitious: The pasta is all housemade, including complex shapes like cresto di gallo (rooster’s comb), as is the sausage. Some preparations are elaborate combinations like charred radicchio with caramelized shallots, fennel, spinach, gorgonzola and walnuts; others are fearlessly simple, such as porchetta piled atop a focaccia (with no sauce), or raw branzino with sea salt and olive oil.

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Sushi Kim

ALL-DAY ITALIAN, CONTINUED FROM PG. 33

FRIDAYS-SUNDAY 4-9PM • CHICKEN/ BEEF BULGOGI BULG • PORK, BEEF SHORT RIB • SEAFOOD, VEGETABLES

COOKED AT YOUR OWN TABLE

EAT ME...

NOW. HAPPY HOUR

10% 10 0% O OFF FF

4PM-6PM

CLOSED MONDAY

1241 PENN AVE • 412-281-9956

INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

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[PERSONAL CHEF]

ICING FOR ICING HATERS {BY CELINE ROBERTS}

The author at around age 3, eating birthday cake with her cousins {PHOTO COURTESY OF SUELLEN ROBERTS}

Korean BBQ Buffet

an opportunity to order it; as a result, we’ve sampled probably hundreds of versions. For all that, DiAnoia’s is one of the few standouts. Its excellence was largely due to its proportions, with crumbled hot sausage, creamy cannellini and chopped, wilted escarole sharing the lead. The broth, based on chicken stock, held the dish’s elemental flavors together with rich, savory substance.

A cold salad of braised octopus, local red potatoes and celery was also superb. The potatoes and diced celery were perfectly at home in a lemon vinaigrette that let the fruity olive oil come forward. And the tentacles were lusciously tender without a hint of rubberiness. Great octopus is good enough to take center stage, but it was a pleasure to enjoy it with a strong supporting cast.

All seven pasta dishes were enticing, from basic cacio e pepe to exotic squid-ink spaghetti aglio e olio. The latter was a masterpiece: the white rings of squid graphically striking against the black pasta, while another deceptively minimalist sauce highlighted the primary ingredients without shrinking into the background. The use of chili oil in the aglio e olio, plus mellow cooking, kept the garlic from dominating either the mild squid or the briny, inky noodles.

This would be a standout dish on any menu in the city, but it was far from our only good plate of pasta. Vitello pappardelle used pulled osso bucco and braised carrots to create a hearty, deeply satisfying, almost stew-like dish, sauced with rich veal stock.

The aforementioned cresto was baked into a casserole with sausage, roasted red peppers, vodka sauce and slices of fresh mozzarella browned into a sort of creamy crust on top. There just wasn’t much of the vodka sauce, though, and it lacked the kick that it usually gets from the booze and pepperoncini, though this is just the kind of zip a pasta bake can really use.

There were no complaints about the porchetta. On feast days, this dish is an entire pig, deboned and spit-roasted; more practically for an everyday dinner, it’s pork loin wrapped in pork belly, the fatty cut basting the lean, and the skin crisping up.

Here, it was served sliced thin and piled atop a big slab of focaccia with a cup of savory drippings on the side. All of the meat was swooningly succulent, but we especially loved how its character shifted from bite to bite as different cuts took prominence. The leftovers made an insanely great sandwich.

DiAnoia’s deserves your attention all day, from your morning coffee and pastry to your late nightcap, excelling in every facet (did we mention the great service?).

Anoia and DiAndrea have achieved the extraordinary: In an odd location with no culinary history, they’ve created easily one of the top Italian restaurants in the city.

I’m not big on sweets. I’m one of those icing haters. I am that person who annoys everyone at parties by taking my little white plastic fork and carefully scraping off almost all of the globby, going-tosend-you-into-diabetic-shock-immediately icing clinging to a perfectly good piece of baker’s confectionary. Hell, I don’t like cake that much, but every year on my birthday, I ask for exactly the same one: chocolate with chocolate whipped-cream icing. I can’t remember ever having another kind of birthday cake, much to the chagrin of my mom, who is probably sick of making them.

It doesn’t help that my brother and dad never want anything else either. One year I remember her making a pointed request to have a fruit tart on her birthday, selfishly met by groans from the rest of us.

It’s not even about the cake, it’s about the frosting: beautiful cocoa waves, whipped into crests, that immediately melt in your mouth. It manages to be extremely light, while maintaining the richness that a dense chocolate cake requires. While I’m dedicated to chocolate cake, feel free to experiment with other flavors; vanilla or almond would make excellent choices. It’s also incredibly simple to make, although cooks beware: I usually eat enough spoonfuls for “taste testing” to make myself queasy before I even ice the cake.

INGREDIENTS • 1 pint whipping cream • ½ cup semi-sweet cocoa (go for the gold here and buy some nice cocoa powder. It will taste a lot better, plus you’ll finally have an excuse to buy the brand you’ve been staring at longingly) • 1½ cup powdered sugar • 1 tbsp. vanilla INSTRUCTIONS Whisk ingredients together in a large bowl. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap.

Refrigerate the mixture for 45 minutes at a minimum, or prepare the day before and chill overnight. Beat the mixture with a hand mixer until the whipping cream starts to form thick peaks. If it isn’t whipped enough, it will melt quickly when exposed to room-temperature air when serving the cake. This recipe makes about six cups.

CELINE@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

WE WANT YOUR PERSONAL RECIPES AND THE STORIES BEHIND THEM. EMAIL THEM TO CELINE@PGHCITYPAPER.COM.

BOOZE BATTLES {BY CELINE ROBERTS}

Each week, we order the same cocktail at two different bars for a friendly head-to-head battle. Go to the bars, taste both drinks and tell us what you like about each by tagging @pghcitypaper on Twitter or Instagram and use #CPBoozeBattles. If you want to be a part of Booze Battles, send an email to food-and-beverage writer Celine Roberts, at celine@pghcitypaper.com.

THE DRINK: GARDEN IN A GLASS

{CP PHOTO BY JOHN COLOMBO}

Dancing Gnome’s Better One or Two double IPA

[ON THE ROCKS]

HAZY AND JUICY “New England” IPAs are all the rage {BY DREW CRANISKY} Stagioni 2104 E. Carson St., South Side DRINK: Sage Bee INGREDIENTS: Blue Coat gin, sage-honey simple syrup, lemon OUR TAKE: Every ingredient in this cocktail shines in perfect detail on the palate. The sweetness of the honey and the herbaceous, slightly smoky smell of sage are finished with notes of juniper in the gin. Tart citrus flavors highlight the drink.

VS.

BAD BOY or Death Row? Wu-Tang or N.W.A.?

Biggie or Tupac? In the world of ’90s hip hop, East Coast versus West Coast was a big deal. Fans chose sides, defending them vehemently and sometimes violently. Though that rivalry has, thankfully, quieted, there might just be another (albeit far more goodnatured) one bubbling up in your glass.

Thanks to the hop-friendly climes of the Pacific Northwest and the vast number of hop-obsessed craft brewers in California and beyond, the West Coast has long been associated with American IPAs. In the 1980s, pioneering breweries like Sierra Nevada began loading beers with new American hop varieties. The

craft-beer boom that followed saw West Coast brewers push the boundaries of bitter, with brews like Russian River’s Pliny the Elder attracting a rabid cult following. It didn’t take long for the West Coast to earn a reputation for big, bold and bitter beers.

In recent years, however, the West Coast’s position at the top of the IPA heap has started to look a little shakier. A new trend in IPAs has emerged, one that emphasizes the juicy, floral flavors of hops and dials back the bitterness. The style originated in the Northeast, with breweries

like The Alchemist, in Vermont, and Trillium and Treehouse (both in Massachusetts) earning accolades for their hazy, flavorful IPAs. Though no one can quite agree on a name — you might hear the style called “New England,” “Northeast” or “East Coast”— one thing is for sure: Everybody wants some.

So what makes these beers so special?

“As far as being different from ‘West Coaststyle’ IPAs, it’s when and how you utilize the hops, and then what varieties of hops you use,” explains Andrew Witchey, owner of Sharpsburg’s Dancing Gnome Brewery.

Though one of the newest breweries on the scene, Dancing Gnome has quickly made a splash with its brand of aromatic, hopforward beers.

These new IPAs are perhaps most recognizable by their distinctive hazy appearance.

Thanks to a variety of factors, including late and generous hopping, the specific yeast strain, and a lack of filtration, many “New England” IPAs look more like a glass of pineapple juice than a pint of Bud. That haziness is caused by suspended hop particulates, which create a rich mouthfeel along with huge hop aromas and flavors. Because of those volatile compounds, freshness is paramount, with the beer at its best weeks (if not days) after kegging or canning.

As far as the trend’s popularity, Witchey credits the approachable nature of the beer.

“It’s very palatable across the spectrum,” he explains.

“You have old-school hopheads that can appreciate it for the new-school hop nuances that it has. But you also have people who thought they didn’t like IPAs who have a sample and say, ‘Wow, this is not what I thought an IPA was.’ It’s so low in bitterness but high in flavor.”

“IT’S WHEN AND HOW YOU UTILIZE THE HOPS.”

I N F O@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

This week on Sound Bite: City Paper met up with food stylist Quelcy Kogel for an inside take on the business of making food look picture-perfect. www.pghcitypaper.com

Pork & Beans

One Bordeaux, One Scotch, One Beer

136 Sixth St., Downtown DRINK: Bumble Fuzz INGREDIENTS: Beefeater gin, smoked honey, ginger, lemon, orange bitters, hefeweizen, bee pollen OUR TAKE: Bright floral notes are the highlight of this drink. The nose (with the help of the bee pollen) is blooming honeysuckle bushes on a hot day. Citrus adds a pucker to the sweetness of the honey and gin, followed by light smokiness to balance it.

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Green Chartreuse $55.99/750ml “ “The vibrant, herbal spirit from which the color receives its moniker. A mysterious, vegetal elixir with a history as deeply compelling as the flavor. Chartreuse asserts its profile onto such classic cocktails as the Bijou, the Tipperary or d tthe Last Word. A standard for any true cocktail bar.”

RECOMMENDED BY SEAN ENRIGHT, BARTENDER AT TIKI LOUNGE, IN SOUTH SIDE, AND SPIRIT, IN LAWRENCEVILLE

Green Chartreuse is available at Pennsylvania Fine Wine & Good Spirits stores.

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SECOND ANNUAL JAPANESE FILM FESTIVAL TAKES PLACE AT ROW HOUSE CINEMA

FACES OF IDENTITY The Carnegie Mellon International Film Festival: Faces of Identity continues through Sun., April 9. Unless noted, films screen at McConomy Auditorium, on the CMU campus, and are $10 ($5 students/ seniors). A complete schedule, including guest speakers and specials events, is at www.cmu.edu/faces. Some recent films screening this week: HOME CARE. Slávek Horák’s recent Czech dramedy checks in with a home-care nurse who realizes she might need some help herself. In Czech and Slovak, with subtitles. 7 p.m. Wed., April 5 THE EAGLE HUNTRESS. In the remote Kazakh region, a teenage girl (with the help of her father) defies tradition by training to enter an eagle-hunting competition. Otto Bell directs this recent uplifting documentary, which is also a fascinating ethnography depicting a group of people, who despite some contemporary trappings, still live by the old ways. In Kazakh, with subtitles. 7 pm. Thu., April 6 THE AGE OF CONSEQUENCES. The connection between current and potential geo-political unrest and climate change is laid out in Jared P. Scott’s sobering documentary. Among those who express grave concern are folks with extensive military backgrounds, who cite disruptions in global food supply, and water crises (floods, droughts) as catalysts to dangerous instability and likely violent conflict among world populations. 7 p.m. Fri., April 7. CMOA Theater, Carnegie Museum of Art, 4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland BETWEEN FENCES. Avi Mograbi’s documentary checks in with a group of men held in a geopolitical limbo. They are refuges from Africa, and now live in Israel, but in restricted circumstances, held within an encampment and sometimes a nearby detention center. Frustrated, they use theater, spoken word and other performance techniques to share their plight. In English, and Hebrew, Tigrigna and Arabic, with subtitles. 7 p.m. Sat., April 8. Regent Square Theater, 1035 S. Braddock Ave., Edgewood EL FUTURO PERFECTO. In Nele Wohlatz’s lean drama, a young Chinese woman struggles to find a place for herself after joining her immigrant family in Argentina. She dutifully attends Spanish classes, works in a deli and strikes up a relationship with another lonely and disconnected immigrant, a young man from India. A low-key précis of how folks adjust amid our rapidly shrinking world.

In Spanish and Mandarin, with subtitles.

3 p.m. Sun., April 9

Aisholpan Nurgaiv, in The Eagle Huntress

{BY AL HOFF}

Things are not going well in House.

JAPANESE IMPORT {BY AL HOFF}

L

AST YEAR, Row House Cinema, in Lawrenceville, debuted the Japanese Film Festival. The festival, highlighting historically and culturally significant films from Japan, returns for a second year, and with expanded programming. The festival, offering seven films with multiple screenings, runs April 7-13 at Row House Cinema. The complete schedule, tickets and details about special events, which include ramen nights, a pajama party and a tea ceremony, are at www.jffpgh.org. Below are some highlights:

SAMURAI CAT. In Takeshi Watanabe and Yoshitaka Yamaguchi’s 2014 comedy, a samurai, hired by a dog-loving clan, finds he cannot complete his assignment — to kill the pet cat of the rival clan. Also screening: “Ghiblies: Episode 2,” a 24-minute animated film from 2002, and directed by Yoshiyuki Momose, that purports to show life at the famed Studio Ghibli. Among the highlights: hot curry for lunch. 6:30 and 9:30 p.m. Fri., April 7 HOUSE. Nobuhiko Obayashi’s gloriously oddball 1977 Japanese horror-comedy is like putting

AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 04.05/04.12.2017

a teen comedy, a haunted-house story and a surreal art film, along with some Japanese history, sexual fetishism, myth, romance and a cat, into a blender. Now hit “chop” and leave the lid off. Seven high school girls vacation at a country house, and things go very, very weird, with the house and its contents turning on the girls. Some scenes are played for laughs, whereas others are more disturbing or cryptic.

The whole thing is a visual, aural and narrative jumble — part art, part shlock — but it’s unlike anything you’ve likely seen. April 7-10 and April 12-13 HARAKIRI. Masaki Kobayashi directs this 1962 samurai drama, set in 17th-century Japan. An older warrior, set to commit the titular ritual suicide, changes his plans to revenge after learning what befell his son-in-law. April 7-9 and April 11-13 SAILOR MOON R: THE MOVIE. Adapted from the popular manga, Kunihiko Ikuhara’s 1993 anime follows the plucky schoolgirl’s adventures as she saves Earth from dangerous seeds.

April 7-13 WHY DON’T YOU PLAY IN HELL? Shion Sono’s 2013 mash-up of comedy, gangster film and martial-arts actioner requires patience: There’s

a pretty epic payoff, but Sono takes well over an hour to set up all the components. Key players include: a slapdash amateur film crew; two groups of battling yakusa; a 98-pound weakling fake-dating a gangster’s wild-child daughter; a toothpaste commercial sung by a perky young girl; and the God of Film. It all comes to a head when the two gangs go to war, and both sides agree to let a movie crew film the action. For fans of filmmaking, martial-arts movies and silly humor, this is some amusing, albeit very bloody, stuff. April 8-13 TSUNAMI PUNX. This 2013 documentary from Maki Kimura and Shuichi Obaichi recounts the struggle of Japanese punk musicians and DIY organizers to form new artistic spaces called “Live Houses” in the aftermath of the 2011 tsunami. 4:30 p.m. Sun., April 9 GHOST IN THE SHELL. The critically acclaimed 1995 sci-fi anime from Mamoru Oshii set in a dystopian 2029 has the moody animation, pumped-up action and pneumatic heroines one expects from the genre, while it also tackles less linear philosophical questions: How human is human; can machines possess a soul; and is technology liberating or threatening? 9 and 10:50 p.m. Thu., April 13 A HOF F @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

FILM CAPSULES CP

= CITY PAPER APPROVED

NEW GIFTED. A single man, raising his niece — a child prodigy — gets entangled in a custody battle with his mother. Chris Evans and Jenny Slate star.

Starts Wed., April 12 GOING IN STYLE. Zach Braff directs this comedy in which three struggling retirees (Morgan Freeman, Alan Arkin, Michael Caine) plot to rob a bank. Starts Fri., April 7 QUEEN OF THE DESERT. Werner Herzog directs this biopic about British explorer and writer Gertrude Bell, who, among other things, helped establish the 20th-century boundaries of the Middle East. Nicole Kidman, James Franco and Damian Lewis star. Starts Fri., April 7. Harris SMURFS: THE LOST VILLAGE. Kelly Asbury directs this animated comedy starring those brightblue folk from your childhood. In this tale, the gang takes an adventure through the Forbidden Forest. In 3-D, in select theaters. Starts Fri., April 7 THE VOID. This recent Canadian horror film, directed by Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski, packs a lot in: spooky robed people, a nearly abandoned hospital, weird diseases, freaky beasts, mad scientists and a last-reel pivot into some pretty crazy time-space-life-death stuff. Not sure it all holds together satisfactorily plot-wise, but it sure was fun to watch. 7 p.m. Fri., April 7, and 9:30 p.m. Sat., April 8. Hollywood (Al Hoff) YOUR NAME. Makoto Shinkai directs this new Japanese anime about two strangers who form an odd connection. Starts Fri., April 7.

SouthSide Works

lay the groundwork for the increasingly complex battles to come. 11 a.m. Sat., April 8. Tull Family Theater, 418 Walnut St., Sewickley. www.thetullfamilytheater.org BANFF MOUNTAIN FILM FESTIVAL. It’s spring, and time to start thinking about going outside again. Get some fresh ideas with this popular touring festival of short films celebrating nature, outdoor activities (including extreme sports), environmental issues, and the people and culture of other lands. 7 p.m. Sat., April 8, and 5 p.m. Sun., April 9. Byham Theater, Downtown.

Tickets $15-25; plus $100 VIP and $40 after-party. www.ventureoutdoors.org

Pittsburgh City Paper’s Burger Week is coming, and we’re looking for participating restaurants!

For more info visit PGHBURGERWEEK.COM.

STEAMBOAT BILL JR. Silent-screen comedian Buster Keaton stars in this 1928 film, in which he portrays a reserved lad who winds up piloting a steamboat through some treacherous weather. Things are little better on land, where Keaton, in a famous stunt, avoids getting flattened by a house during a tornado. The movie is presented by the Pittsburgh Area Theatre Organ Society. Organist Dennis James will accompany the film on the Wurlitzer. Before the screening, James will perform on a 1926 Calliaphone, salvaged from a Mississippi riverboat. 7:30 p.m. Sat., April 8. Keystone Oaks Auditorium, 1000 Kelton Ave., Dormont. $15 in advance ($20 at door). www.pittsburghtheatreorgan.com THE CLUB. In a small seaside town, a small group of former Catholic priests and a nun share a house, intentionally isolated. A new resident, a disgraced priest, arrives and precipitates a disruption, eventually revealing long-buried secrets, torments and desires. This 2015 Chilean drama from Pablo Larraín (Jackie) may be spare, but it packs a lot into its loosely plotted and deceptively low-key spaces. In Spanish, with subtitles. 7 p.m. Tue., April 11 (re-scheduled from March). Public Health G23, 130 DeSoto St., Oakland. www.ucis.pitt.edu/clas/node/432. Free (includes pizza) (AH)

CP

REPERTORY BREATHLESS. An American in Paris (Jean Seberg) and a raffish criminal (Jean-Paul Belmondo) meet and run wild, in Jean-Luc Godard’s 1959 New Wave classic. In French, with subtitles. 3 p.m. Wed., April 5, and 9:20 p.m. Thu., April 6.

Row House ALPHAVILLE. Jean-Luc Godard’s 1965 film is a vision of a dystopian Paris of the future and stars Eddie Constantine and Anna Karina. In French, with subtitles. 5 p.m. Wed., April 5, and 3:45 p.m.

Thu., April 6. Row House CONTEMPT. A screenwriter’s marriage dissolves during a movie production, as he spends time with the producer, in Jean-Luc Godard’s 1963 drama about art and business. In French, German and English, with subtitles. 7:15 p.m. Wed., April 5. Row House SINGING IN THE RAIN. Hollywood’s transition from silent film to talkies is lovingly skewered in this rousing musical from Stanley Donen.

The 1952 film stars Debbie Reynolds, Donald O’Connor, Pittsburgh’s own Gene Kelly and a very important lamppost. 7:30 pm. Wed., April 5.

AMC Loews Waterfront. $5 PIERROT LE FOU. Jean-Paul Belmondo and Anna Karina star in Jean-Luc Godard’s 1965 film about a bored man, the women he meets and the getaway they embark on after discovering a corpse. In French, with subtitles. 9:30 p.m. Wed., April 5. Row House HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN. Alfonso Cuarón’s 2004 film broadens the world of witches and wizards, and begins to

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Film Kitchen

CALLING ALL RESTAURANTS!

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FILM KITCHEN. Short films and music videos by Bailey Donovan highlight this edition of the monthly series for local and independent artists. The evening includes “Maggie vs. Evil Dead,” a clever send-up of horror films, and “The Big Fold,” a cute film noir spoof revolving around a little boy’s obsession with a movie tough guy. Donovan’s music videos include Arcade High’s “Cool Inc,” a mini action flick that makes unexpected use of an ’80s-style dance-aerobics video, and Grand Piano’s “February Blues,” an amusing scenario set in a life-drawing class. The April 11 Film Kitchen, curated by Matthew R. Day, also features “Check Yes or No,” Molly Duerig’s affecting, smartly made short drama about a precocious tween. Rounding out the program are several self-produced music videos by the local performer known as Unfinished Symphonies.

The proudly low-budget affairs include “Uh Huh,” in which incompetent street criminals stalk Bloomfield to a garage-pop beat; “Life’s Too Short,” a faux-Irish folk ditty; and the sort-of love song “Divided Sum.” 8 p.m.

Tue., April 11 (7 p.m. reception). Melwood Screening Room (Bill O’Driscoll) RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK. In Steven Spielberg’s 1981 film, our square-jawed hero, archeologist Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford), tackles everything from giant boulders to snakes and conniving Nazis. 7:30 pm. Wed., April 12. AMC Loews Waterfront. $5

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“HE’S ONE OF THE TOP SWIMMERS IN THE REGION AND STATE.”

HEAD FAKES {BY CHARLIE DEITCH} The rapidity with which Americans share fake news is astounding. We’re doing it so much that it makes me wonder whether it’s an addiction for some people; they engage in this reckless behavior even though they know it’s harmful. My suggestion is, if you can’t stop, then share fake news that is benign, like sports.

A few weeks ago, at the NHL trade deadline, I blindly retweeted a “breaking news” item that Pittsburgh Penguins goalie Marc-Andre Fleury had been traded. I quickly realized that I had been duped and deleted the item.

That made me remember the greatest fake sports story of all time, one that to this day I’m convinced some people still think was true.

In March 1985, Sports Illustrated ran a story by George Plimpton about a baseball rookie named Sidd Finch, a reclusive man who had been signed by and was training with the New York Mets. The story told how Finch had a 168-mile fastball, was a master yogi, and pitched in only one shoe. His career choices were either baseball player or professional French-horn player. This story was pre-internet, so there was no way to debunk it — well, except for the fact that it was completely absurd.

Even at age 13, I knew it was fake and my suspicion was confirmed by a story a week or so later by Peter Jennings on ABC’s World News Tonight. But at Easter dinner that year, an elderly man from our church came to dinner and afterward, he began telling the Finch story.

I never said anything, but I was astounded that while I had figured the ruse out as a kid, this man (and a lot of other people) believed it.

At the end of the day, though, believing that story doesn’t really hurt anyone. So the next time you get ready to share a story about the private army that Nancy Pelosi is assembling in preparation for a government takeover, Google and circulate the Sidd Finch story instead; it’s much safer.

BELIEVING THAT STORY DOESN’T REALLY HURT ANYONE.

CDEITCH@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

GOT A TIP? Know of a local sport that isn’t getting the attention it deserves?

Did a local athlete just do something incredible that warrants recognition?

City Paper Sports want to hear about it: info@pghcitypaper.com

{CP PHOTO BY JOHN HAMILTON}

Making a splash: Sead Niksic

POOL WINNER {BY BILLY LUDT}

S

EAD NIKSIC IS one of the most accomplished high school athletes in the Pittsburgh region whom you’ve probably never heard of.

Niksic, a junior at Pittsburgh’s Obama Academy, holds two WPIAL swimming records (51.29 seconds in the 100-yard backstroke and 50.52 seconds in the 100yard butterfly), and recently he placed second and third in those respective events at the Pennsylvania Interscholastic Athletic Association tournament.

Varsity swim coach Mark Rauterkus says Niksic’s efforts at the PIAA helped the team rank among the top 20 in the state. Niksic’s times were also good enough to qualify him to swim in national competitions.

“Sead’s one of the best around,” Rauterkus says. “He’s one of the top swimmers in the region and state. He’s really smart, academically and socially. He’s got a lot of …

intelligence. You couple that with being very goal-oriented — he works hard at it.”

“He’s been able to show a great deal of independence, but he’s also a fun person to have around the team,” he adds. “To be a champion, you have to have a great deal of skills.”

Niksic has been swimming the majority of his life. At an early age, he began swimming recreationally for Team Pittsburgh Aquatics. He still trains with Team Pittsburgh six days a week, sometimes twice a day.

“You do what you got to do,” Niksic says.

Niksic is taking a break from swimming after this latest tournament, but he’ll be back training shortly. His usual day consists of class from about 8 a.m. to 3 p.m., a short nap at home after school, training with Team Pittsburgh from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m., dinner at 7:30 p.m. and then homework.

“It’s a bit of a lifestyle where it’s a part of every day,” Rauterkus says. “If you’re taking holidays, people are passing you.”

Aside from swimming, Niksic is interested in computer engineering. With a proficiency in math, a lifelong familiarity with computers, and aspirations to work in major software development, he plans to pursue computer engineering in college.

But Niksic is unsure of swimming at the collegiate level.

“It’s a struggle,” he says. “It’s something every student athlete has to think about.”

But that uncertainty hasn’t affected his success in competition.

“Some people have specific goals,” Niksic adds. “My specific goal was to improve on the 100 [yard] back[stroke]. Every day going to practice, that helps you stay motivated, and you want to make sure you do well for your team.”

I N F O@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 04.05/04.12.2017

What have you always wanted to know about Pittsburgh?

“WHY DOES PITTSBURGH HAVE AN H IN IT?” “IS A PARKING-SPOT CHAIR LEGALLY BINDING?” “WHAT IS SLIPPY?” Mike Wysocki has the answers. (well...sorta)

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[THE CHEAP SEATS]

SECOND TO NONE {BY MIKE WYSOCKI} WHAT STARTED a few weeks ago as an idea to figure out who was the best Pirates pitcher of the past 50 years has quickly turned into an obsession.

The answer to that question was John Candelaria. Then our formula crowned Kent Tekulve as top reliever, and Bobby Bonilla as best third baseman.

This week, we move to the middle of the field to determine the winner of the Bill Mazeroski Award for best secondbagger since Maz retired. Maz is the gold standard, and all of these guys are just playing for second. Statistics included in the rankings are batting average, runs, stolen bases, RBI, WAR (wins above replacement level), defensive rating, weighted runs created (WRC), OPS (on-base plus slugging percentage), BABIP (batting average on balls in play) and home runs.

10. Jose Lind is the Pee-wee Herman of this list — a respectable career that nobody remembers, overshadowed by a single incident that nobody forgets.

For Chico, as he was known to fans and teammates, it was a routine groundball deflecting off his Gold Glove in game 7 of the 1992 NLCS; we all know what

{CP FILE PHOTO BY CHARLIE DEITCH}

Second at second: Neil Walker

happened next. Lind also had a very Peewee Herman-like moment at the end of his career, when he was arrested on drugand alcohol-related charges after he fled the scene of a crash that occurred while he was driving around without pants.

9. Tony Womack stole 122 bases as a Pirate and was caught only 15 times. By comparison, the 2016 Pirates stole 110 bases, but returned to the bench after

being called out 45 times. Womack had a better stealing percentage than a really fast “porch pirate” who swipes Amazon packages from your stoop. Womack was an early victim of the annual “Pirates Purge,” when the team sold off good players for nothing. The Bucs sent him to Arizona for Paul Weichard and Jason Boyd. The first guy won two games in the minors and the other guy pitched a total of five innings for the Pirates. Womack went on to win another stolen-base title and get a key hit off Mariano Rivera to help win Game 7 of the 2001 World Series.

8. Carlos Garcia is the guy you forget about, yet who shows up in almost every one of these categories. He never had an outstanding season, just a string of decent ones. He did make an AllStar appearance in 1994 due to the unpopular, and kind of humiliating, “Every team has to have an All Star” rule.

7. Dave Cash arrived in Pittsburgh when second base was a clusteryou-know-what of talent.

Mazeroski was winding down his career, Rennie Stennett was on his way up and a young Willie Randolph was climbing through the system. A .285 hitter with the Pirates, Cash was traded to the Phillies, where he made three straight All Star Games. In return, the Bucs got serviceable starter Ken Brett, who wasn’t even the best baseball player in his family (Hall of Famer and pine-tar aficionado George Brett was his more successful brother).

6. Phil Garner makes his second ap-

pearance on our lists; he was also ranked among third basemen. In 1978, Scrap Iron played 81 games at second and 81 games at third. That year, he hit grand slams in consecutive games, becoming the first National League player since 1922 to do that. If there’s ever a Pirates all-time utility-player list, a best nickname list or a best facial-hair list, Scrap Iron will be on those, too.

5 and 4. Just like Garner, Freddy Sanchez and Josh Harrison are on both lists. They also tied again, because they are basically the same player. Each was ranked next to the other in most categories. They also were both better defensively at third base than at second. Also, Sanchez earned $31 million in his career and J-Hay will have earned $30 million by the time his contract expires.

3. Like Jose Lind, Rennie Stennett is basically known for one thing, but it’s much better than Chico’s thing. Stennett was the only man in MLB history to go 7-for-7 in a nine-inning game. Only 4,932 loserish Cubs fans were at Wrigley the day Stennett hit two doubles, a triple and four singles, scored five runs and drove in two more. That afternoon alone, Stennett had more hits in a Pirates uniform than Benito Santiago, Felix Pie and Gorkys Hernandez had in their Pirates careers. A stellar defensive player as well, he has the highest defensive rating of any player on this list, at 69.3.

2. Conversely, Neil Walker had a defensive rating of -21.7. Still, the Pittsburgh Kid (the good one, not the one who threatens senior-citizen ladies outside of bars) finishes second for his overwhelming offense. Walker is tops in home runs, RBI, OPS, and WRC. But being so bad defensively and having no speed cost him the No. 1 spot. Because statistically speaking, the best second baseman for the Pirates since Maz left is ...

1. Johnny Ray. I’ll be honest, we didn’t see it coming either. Ray ranked first overall in WAR, second in batting average, second in RBI, second in defensive rating, and second in runs, which is good enough to declare him the second-best second basemen in the post-Forbes Field era.

A solid, reliable player, he never played fewer than 151 games in a season and walked more often than he struck out.

Ray led the league in doubles twice and came in, you guessed it, second in the 1982 NL Rookie of the Year voting.

I’LL BE HONEST, WE DIDN’T SEE IT COMING EITHER.

MIK E WYSO C K I IS A STANDU P C O ME DIAN. F O L L OW H I M ON T W I T T E R: @ I T S M I K E W YS OC K I

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1. Carrie ___ Inaba (“Dancing With The Stars” judge) 4. Does nothing 9. Sierra maker 12. Late night comic Samantha 13. Grammywinner Raitt 14. “She dances on the sand,” per a Duran Duran hit 15. Letter run 16. Inedible 17. The whole shooting match 18. Place where it’s impossible to stop 21. Directing piece 23. Consume 24. Airplane ticket info 25. Untouched 28. Actress Seehorn of “Better Call Saul” 32. Unlikely to get out of bed 33. Worry big-time 34. Makes watertight 35. “Agnus ___” 36. Google Home rival 38. Londoner’s “laters” 39. “___ The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)” 41. Baby’s cries 42. No-win situation 43. River nobody remembers visiting 44. City in Nevada 45. Isn’t wrong 46. Office doc choice 48. “___ Gold”

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49. #1 hit by girl group The Angels 55. Peace sign 56. Olympic wreath 57. Shoot-em-up weapon 60. K-12 group 61. “Things Fall Apart” author Chinua 62. Retina cell 63. Sloth, e.g.

64. Like many a PAX conference attendee 65. Baby’s first “word,” but c’mon, let’s face it, it’s not really a word, per se, more like a grunt

DOWN

22. Show some mercy 25. Loaded gun 26. Other name for the lumpfish, which sounds like it should fly 27. Violin legend Perlman 29. Mississippi home to the African American Military History Museum 30. Department of Transportation head Chao 31. Black figures 33. Miles away 34. “Legend of Zelda: A Link To The Past” platform

1. Crunch targets 2. With 3-Down, hot-button issue for the FCC 3. See 2-Down 4. Electronic musician’s staple 5. Wise about 6. Vehemently against 7. Ralph who voices Alfred in “The Lego Batman Movie” 8. Nissan sedan 9. Bit of political corruption 10. “A Gallery of Children” author 11. Pantone selection 13. Make beer 19. Incredibly popular 20. Rather strange 21. Spots for the hits, on old 45s

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37. Cuatro y cuatro 40. Event for new products 44. Blot out 45. Alan of “Bridge of Spies” 47. 2016 Literature Nobelist 48. “Stop hurting me!”

49. Four awards for LeBron 50. Bigfoot’s cousin 51. Noggin 52. Dortmund’s river 53. More than pissed 54. Barely pass 58. Scene of mayhem 59. “My round, who needs another?” response (always) {LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS}

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FOR THE WEEK OF

Free Will Astrology

04.05-04.12

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Be interested in first things, Aries. Cultivate your attraction to beginnings. Align yourself with uprisings and breakthroughs. Find out what’s about to hatch, and lend your support. Give your generous attention to potent innocence and novel sources of light. Marvel at people who are rediscovering the sparks that animated them when they first came into their power. Fantasize about being a curious seeker who is devoted to reinventing yourself over and over again. Gravitate toward influences that draw their vitality directly from primal wellsprings. Be excited about first things.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Are you weary of lugging around decayed guilt and regret? Is it increasingly difficult to keep forbidden feelings concealed? Have your friends been wondering about the whip marks from your self-flagellation sessions? Do you ache for redemption? If you answered yes to any of those questions, listen up. The empathetic and earthy saints of the Confession Catharsis Corps are ready to receive your blubbering disclosures.

They are clairvoyant, they’re non-judgmental, and best of all, they’re free. Within seconds after you telepathically communicate with our earthy saints, they will psychically beam you 11 minutes of unconditional love, no strings attached. Do it! You’ll be amazed at how much lighter and smarter you feel. Transmit your sad stories to the Confession Catharsis Corps NOW!

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Now is an excellent time to FREE YOUR MEMORIES. What comes to mind when I suggest that?

Here are my thoughts on the subject. To FREE YOUR MEMORIES, you could change the way you

talk and feel about your past. Re-examine your assumptions about your old stories, and dream up fresh interpretations to explain how and why they happened. Here’s another way to FREE YOUR MEMORIES: If you’re holding on to an insult someone hurled at you once upon a time, let it go. In fact, declare a general amnesty for everyone who ever did you wrong. By the way, the coming weeks will also be a favorable phase to FREE YOURSELF OF MEMORIES that hold you back. Are there any tales you tell yourself about the past that undermine your dreams about the future? Stop telling yourself those tales.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): How big is your vocabulary? Twenty thousand words? Thirty thousand? Whatever size it is, the coming weeks will be prime time to expand it.

Life will be conspiring to enhance your creative use of language . . . to deepen your enjoyment of the verbal flow . . . to help you become more articulate in rendering the mysterious feelings and complex thoughts that rumble around inside you. If you pay attention to the signals

get your yoga on! schoolhouseyoga.com gentle yoga yoga levels 1, 2 ashtanga yoga meditation

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coming from your unconscious mind, you will be shown how to speak and write more effectively.

You may not turn into a silver-tongued persuader, but you could become a more eloquent spokesperson for your own interests.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): We all need more breaks from the routine — more holidays, more vacations, more days off from work. We should all play and dance and sing more, and guiltlessly practice the arts of leisure and relaxation, and celebrate freedom in regular boisterous rituals. And I’m nominating you to show us the way in the coming weeks, Leo. Be a cheerleader who exemplifies how it’s done. Be a ringleader who springs all of us inmates out of our mental prisons. Be the imaginative escape artist who demonstrates how to relieve tension and lose inhibitions.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): People in your vicinity may be preoccupied with trivial questions. What’s more nutritious, corn chips or potato chips? Could Godzilla kick King Kong’s ass? Is it harder to hop forward on one foot or backward with both feet? I suspect you will also encounter folks who are embroiled in meaningless decisions and petty emotions. So how should you navigate your way through this energy-draining muddle? Here’s my advice: Identify the issues that are most worthy of your attention. Stay focused on them with disciplined devotion. Be selfish in your rapt determination to serve your clearest and noblest and holiest agendas.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I hope that by mid-May you will be qualified to teach a workshop called “Sweet Secrets of Tender Intimacy” or “Dirty Secrets of Raw Intimacy” or maybe even “Sweet and Dirty Secrets of Raw and Tender Intimacy.” In other words, Libra, I suspect that you will be adding substantially to your understanding of the art of togetherness.

Along the way, you might also have experiences that would enable you to write an essay entitled “How to Act Like You Have Nothing to Lose When You Have Everything to Gain.”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): If you have a dream of eating soup with a fork, it might mean that in your waking life you’re using the wrong approach to getting nourished.

If you have a dream of entering through an exit, it might mean that in your waking life you’re trying to start at the end rather than the beginning. And if you dream of singing nursery rhymes at a karaoke bar with unlikable people from high school, it might mean that in your waking life you should seek more fulfilling ways to express your wild side and your creative energies. (P.S. You’ll be wise to do these things even if you don’t have the dreams I described.)

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 04.05/04.12.2017

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If you’re a Quixotic lover, you’re more in love with love itself than with any person. If you’re a Cryptic lover, the best way to stay in love with a particular partner is to keep him or her guessing. If you’re a Harlequin, your steady lover must provide as much variety as three lovers.

If you’re a Buddy, your specialties are having friendly sex and having sex with friends. If you’re a Histrionic, you’re addicted to confounding, disorienting love. It’s also possible that you’re none of the above. I hope so, because now is an excellent time to have a beginner’s mind about what kind of love you really need and want to cultivate in the future.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Your new vocabulary word is “adytum.” It refers to the most sacred place within a sacred place — the inner shrine at the heart of a sublime sanctuary.

Is there such a spot in your world? A location that embodies all you hold precious about your journey on planet Earth? It might be in a church or temple or synagogue or mosque, or it could be a magic zone in nature or a corner of your bedroom. Here you feel an intimate connection with the divine, or a sense of awe and reverence for the privilege of being alive. If you don’t have a personal adytum, Capricorn, find or create one. You need the refreshment that comes from dwelling in the midst of the numinous.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You could defy gravity a little, but not a lot. You can’t move a mountain, but you might be able to budge a hill. Luck won’t miraculously enable you to win a contest, but it might help you seize a hard-earned perk or privilege. A bit of voraciousness may be good for your soul, but a big blast of greed would be bad for both your soul and your ego. Being savvy and feisty will energize your collaborators and attract new allies; being a smart-ass show-off would alienate and repel people.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Here are activities that will be especially favorable for you to initiate in the near future: 1. Pay someone to perform a service for you that will ease your suffering. 2. Question one of your fixed opinions if that will lead to you receiving a fun invitation you wouldn’t get otherwise.

3. Dole out sincere praise or practical help to a person who could help you overcome one of your limitations. 4. Get clear about how one of your collaborations would need to change in order to serve both of you better. Then tell your collaborator about the proposed improvement with light-hearted compassion.

Who’s the person you’d most like to meet and have coffee or a drink with? Why? Testify at Freewillastrology.com

GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT-MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 OR 1-900-950-7700

Savage Love {BY DAN SAVAGE}

I’m a woman in my late 40s. In my early 20s, I married a much older man. We did all the requisite things: kids, house, intercourse once a week. When the sex fell off due to his declining health, he surprised me by suggesting we open our marriage. He said I was too young to be limited, and he didn’t want me to leave him for sex. I spent time contemplating how to truly fulfill my desires. I read a lot of erotica, indulged in porn, and discovered that what turned me on was Dominance. Not intercourse particularly, but power play with me as the Queen controlling a slave. I like chastity, face-sitting and light bondage. I have found that this type of play appeals to smart and kinky gents. But I am finding that, despite a gentleman’s declaration of “wanting something long-term,” perhaps a friendswith-benefits arrangement, they tend to drop out in short order. Three times in the past two years I have spent a great deal of time getting to know someone before there was any play — a lot of time chatting online, several vanilla dates. In each of these instances, I felt that I had found a good friend.

Each of these three men dumped me in exactly the same way. Each said that I was too overwhelmingly beautiful and powerful, and that their obsession with me took up too much room in their lives. This is very frustrating because I feel like I give someone the space they need. I think this is likely BS. Could “I’m overwhelmed” be the new “It’s not you, it’s me”? I am tired of having my feelings hurt. Must I hang up my crop forever?

guys before you play — again, for your safety — but not so much emotional energy that you’ll be annoyed/upset/devastated if it doesn’t work out.

My husband is wonderful. We are into BDSM. It’s always been super hot for me, and he’s always respected my boundaries. The other night, both of us had a lot to drink. I had WAY too much. We’d also been talking all night about me sucking his dick later. When we got home, he asked if I was too drunk for sex and I said we should have sex. I encouraged him. But when kinky stuff happened — him fucking my mouth, slapping my face a little — I quickly realized I was too drunk. I felt hurt and confused instead of feeling turned on, I felt sad, but I didn’t want to tell him to stop. At some point, he realized I was too drunk for what we were doing and he stopped. The next day, I felt so sad. He feels horrible and says that, regardless of me insisting (more than once) that he continue, he should’ve known I was too drunk. He feels bad. I feel bad. Any direction you could point me in — perhaps a book to read? — would be appreciated.

MUST I HANG UP MY CROP FOREVER?

DONE OFFERING MY MENTAL ENERGY

Forever hanging up your crop because a few guys tactfully ended things over a two-year period seems a bit melodramatic. So hang in there, DOMME, and hold on to that crop.

The mistake you’re making, if I may be so bold as to offer some constructive criticism to the Queen, is investing too much time and energy up front, i.e., you’re making large emotional investments in these guys before you get around to the play. You’ll want to screen guys for your own safety, of course, but spending “a great deal of time getting to know” a potential kinky FWB is a recipe for disappointment. Because if you don’t click during play — if your style of BDSM doesn’t do it for them or vice versa — there are really no “benefits” in continuing.

I suspect that was the case with your last three gents. But instead of ghosting you or saying something that could be construed as critical or unkind, all three heaped praise on you instead.

You were too beautiful, too overwhelming, etc.

It was, indeed, a kinder, gentler, subbier way of saying, “It’s not you, it’s me.”

Dominant women are in such short supply relative to demand that submissive men will, well, they’ll submit to an endless vetting process.

During that process, submissive guys open to something long-term will say so, DOMME, but submissive guys who aren’t looking for something long-term will say so, too, if they sense that’s what you want to hear. In order to be safe while avoiding avoidable heartache, DOMME, you’ll want to invest a little time in getting to know

DIDN’T KNOW MY LIMITS

You don’t need a book, DKML, you need a shift — a shift in focus.

Right now, you’re focused on everything that went wrong that night — the boozing, the confusion, a bad sexual experience with a trusted partner — and you don’t seem to be really registering or giving enough weight to what went right that night. Your husband sensed you weren’t feeling it, realized you were too drunk (a little late, but still), and then, despite the fact that you encouraged him to continue, he sensed you weren’t in the right head space (you weren’t enjoying yourself, you were too drunk) and stopped.

Your husband, even with a hard dick, even inebriated himself, even while topping during BDSM, didn’t lose sight of your safety and comfort.

Don’t feel bad about the sex, or the kink, or your partner, DKML. Learn from this experience — BDSM and boozing don’t mix — and move on.

My wife and I are poly. Next week, my wife is going on a business trip, and I made plans with a woman who we sometimes hook up with to come over. The complication is that, at 8 a.m. the next morning, our housekeeper is supposed to show up — and she’s likely to see that my wife is away but I’m eating breakfast with another woman. I’m not sure what to do. We’re open about being poly, but that seems like an awkward and inappropriate conversation to have with your housekeeper.

AN INCONVENIENT GUEST

You shouldn’t have to sneak around in front of your housekeeper, AIG, but your housekeeper probably — definitely — doesn’t want to hear the details of your sex life. So sneak out the back door or pass your lady friend off as a houseguest (remember to rumple the sheets in the guest room) — or reschedule either your housekeeper or your hookup.

On the Lovecast, the science of monogamous versus nonmonogamous happiness: savagelovecast.com.

SEND YOUR QUESTIONS TO MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET AND FIND THE SAVAGE LOVECAST (DAN’S WEEKLY PODCAST) AT SAVAGELOVECAST.COM

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REAL NEWS ABOUT FAKE NEWS

BROKEN NEWS

How Journalists Can Mislead Readers: An Annotation {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

FAKE NEWS USUALLY does not involve complete fabrications. Often, news-fakers cherry-pick a real fact and repackage it in a misleading context. This example was posted on Breitbart News on Nov. 30, 2016, by Britishbased writer James Delingpole. (For sources for this annotation, see www.pghcitypaper.com.)

The Mail article argued that last year’s unusually high temperatures were due to El Niño, not climate change, and that a recent drop in land temperatures is cause for disbelief in global warming.

Sounds convincing — until you recall that some 70 percent of the world’s surface is covered by water, which is a big heat sink.

The Mail on Sunday article was debunked in a Dec. 2 New York Times article that quoted two actual scientists from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.

El Niño, they said, was not solely responsible for the warmer temperatures, but merely added to a pronounced long-term warming trend.

Delingpole’s only other source is “Dr. David Whitehouse, science editor of the Global Warming Policy Foundation.” Sounds authoritative, no? But Whitehouse is an astrophysicist, not a climate scientist. And notwithstanding the Foundation’s neutral-sounding name, in 2014, The Independent described the British-based think tank as “the UK’s most prominent source of climatechange denial.”

The world’s climate researchers overwhelmingly agree that climate change is real, man-made and happening now. But this snarkily written piece, complete with sensational headline, cites an article in British newspaper The Mail on Sunday to argue that climate change is the province of “alarmists.”

The Breitbart story was widely shared, and the subject of an approving tweet by the climate-denying U.S. House Committee on Science, Space and Technology.

The Mail article was written by David Rose, whose professional affiliations Delingpole never identifies. Rose is a veteran climatechange denier who has approvingly passed along predictions of a mini ice age. (Delingpole himself is known for questioning both the role human activity plays in climate change and the severity of climate change itself; he also promoted “Climategate,” the fraudulent 2009 attempt to claim that scientists had conspired to fool the public into believing in global warming.)

All this confusion might simply be attributable to bad reporting — a journalist swayed by a flawed article. But this “death rattle” part of Delingpole’s article is an outright lie: In the real world, evidence that climate change is real, happening now and caused by humans is only mounting.

Important indicators like declines in polar sea ice suggest that the climate is warming even faster than previously predicted.

The idea that there was a recent “pause” in global warming is another lie, thoroughly debunked.

Within weeks of the Breitbart article’s publication, NOAA confirmed that 2016 was our third straight hottest year on record — and that 10 of the other 11 hottest have been since 2003.

The 12th was in 1998.

D RI S C OL L @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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ning e p O t Nigh ed rv Rese s Seat 15! $ Just

Friday, April 7 – 7:00PM Saturday, April 8 – 10:30AM, 2:30PM, 7:00PM Sunday, April 9 – 2:00PM Buy tickets at the Dick’sSporting Goods Box Office at PPG Paints Arena, charge by phone at 800-745-3000, or online at Ticketmaster.com

Proceeds are for the benefit of Shriners of Pittsburgh. Payments are not deductible as charitable contributions.