August 2, 2017 - Pittsburgh City Paper by Pittsburgh City Paper

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08.02/08.09.2017

Stars of the Silver Screen Rooftop Shindig

EVENTS 8.5 – 10am -12pm HALF-PINT PRINTS The Factory Free with museum admission

8.26 – 2pm MEMBER TOUR: STARS OF THE SILVER SCREEN Free for CMP members; registration is suggested

8.26 – 3pm DANDY ANDY: WARHOL’S QUEER HISTORY Free with museum admission

9.15 - 8pm TQ LIVE! A queer evening of dazzling performance, dance, poetry, comedy, music, and more. Please note this performance contains adult subject matter and strong language. Tickets $10/$8 members & students Pittsburgh Downtown Partnership’s Rooftop Shindig, photo by Renee Rosensteel

8.29 – 5:30-11pm 9.16 - 8pm & 10 pm NIGHT OF 1,000 MARILYNS 8pm VIP & General, 10pm Late Night Tickets $200 VIP; $50 General Admission; $25 Late Night

Rooftop of the Theater Square Garage in Downtown Pittsburgh, FREE

The Warhol and The Pittsburgh Downtown Partnership (PDP) are teaming up with Pittsburgh Filmmakers to present a special edition of the PDP’s popular Rooftop Shindig series highlighted by a screening of the 1932 Greta Garbo and Ramon Novarro spy thriller, Mata Hari (1932). Featuring entertainment by Phat Man Dee, food, themed cocktails, and a vintage fashion market produced by Second Shift Crafters. The movie will be shown at dusk and guests are encouraged to bring their own seating or blanket. Rooftop Shindigs are made possible with the support of Alco Parking, The Pittsburgh Cultural Trust, WYEP & WESA FM. The Andy Warhol Museum receives state arts funding support through a grant from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, a state agency funded by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency and The Heinz Endowments. Further support is provided by the Allegheny Regional Asset District.

Andy Warhol: Stars of the Silver Screen is generously supported by Cadillac.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

08.02/08.09.2017

08.02/08.09.2017 VOLUME 27 + ISSUE 31

[EDITORIAL] Editor CHARLIE DEITCH News Editor REBECCA ADDISON Arts & Entertainment Editor BILL O’DRISCOLL Associate Editor AL HOFF Digital Editor ALEX GORDON Staff Writers RYAN DETO, CELINE ROBERTS Music Writer MEG FAIR Interns CARLEY BONK, HALEY FREDERICK, KRISTA JOHNSON, HANNAH LYNN, JORDAN MILLER, MATT PETRAS

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THIS WEEK

POLITICS IS ONE OF THE FEW PLACES WHERE TURDS ACTUALLY RISE TO THE TOP

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JUST BECAUSE the 2016 election is over doesn’t mean City Paper is done wading through political excrement. After all, politics is one of the few places where turds actually rise to the top. President Donald Trump expels more crap than a chimp on laxatives, but this year, we put a big focus on municipal politicians, since there’s no better place to take a dump than at home. We’ll have some juicy nuggets on the big girls and boys in higher ofﬁces. But with municipal and county elections just a few months away, CP wanted to inform you of the ﬂaming bag of poop that’s on your doorstep, in case you want to stamp it out. It’s messy to do, but worth it in the long run.

Last week, half-clothed cyclists traversed city streets in the latest installment of the Pittsburgh Underwear Bike Ride. Check out our photo slideshow from the event online at www.pghcitypaper.com.

City Paper staff writer Ryan Deto won an Association of Alternative Newsmedia Award for his series of stories on undocumented immigrant Martín Esquivel-Hernandez. Read it online at www.pghcitypaper.com.

B Y C P S TA F F

Wrestling fans, unite: City Paper has a new wrestling-focused blog, Smark Attack, at www.pghcitypaper.com.

CITY PAPER

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Our featured photo from last week is by @dwaphoto. Use #CPReaderArt to share your local photos with us for your chance to be featured next!

THE SH*T LIST From local judges to the President of the United States, our guide to politicians who need to clean up their act

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08.02/08.09.2017

Lester

Nauha

Municipal Manure

Allegheny County Ed Kress

Common Pleas Court Senior Judge Lester Nauhaus

cash in exchange for yet-to-be-known environmental effects), but Kress also was key in passing an ordinance to charge couples to use the County Courthouse for large weddings. He even tried to pass bills to sell the naming rights of county parks and bridges. If Kress got his way, we would take the American Dick’s Sporting Eagle Outfitters bridge to D view of Mount Goods Park for a perfect vi Washington’s Washington giant stone carving of the th face of the “I used to be b the ‘can-youhear-me-now’ hear-me-no guy but now I’m with Sprint” dude. Sp

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It’s hard to imagine what’s worse: The fact that Nauhaus tried to fine an 18-year-old male student who had been convicted in a harassment case of forcibly touching the genitalia of a female student in the hallway way just $1 for each of the six times he touched her — or the fact that he doesn’t ’t see why he’s out off his goddamned mind for doing so in the first st place. Add a case from rom earlier this year when hen Nauhaus told another her woman that the verbal harassment she suffered from a business (D-WEST (Dacquaintance was MIFFLIN) MIF “silly.” Because So mired in he’s a senior judge,, the good-ol’Bob Macey Nauhaus serves at boys’ club of the pleasure of the Western Pennsylvania Pennsylvania Supreme Court. So, until Democrats, Macey thinks it’s still 1950. that body is forced by the public to oust He supports the Mon-Fayette Extension, Nauhaus, he’ll remain a pariah in our a $2 billion highway project, and county court system, and victims who defended its antiquated build-acome before him will have to endure the highway-and-prosperity-will-come theory next disgusting comment he makes. by citing President Eisenhower, who

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created the nation’s interstate system. The MFE is set to be completed 80 years after Eisenhower signed the interstate act. In 2015, Macey was forced to resign from his job with state Sen. Jim Brewster due to an ethics violation, since he held another elected office. Brewster, coincidentally, is one of the biggest champions of the MFE.

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switched his vote in 2008 to support Walmart moving into Moon. In 2016, Vitale and other Moon supervisors continued to kowtow to the retail giant, authorizing a $66,900 taxpayer-funded payment to the big-box store, because the corporation painted some light posts near its new location, at the request of n tthe township. In the 2015-2016 fiscal year, Walmart made $121 billion in profit, W about 2 million times what Moon residents ab reimbursed to the company — meaning rei it ttook the cash because it could, not because it needed it. be

Pittsburgh and suburbs

Pittsburgh City Councilor Darlene Harris (D-NORTH SIDE) It’s baffling to us that 10 years ars on city council still hasn’t led Darlene ne Harris to a real understanding of city y policies. Harris says that she can’t support upport Pittsburgh becoming a sanctuary city because undocumented workers are “treated like slaves,” butt that she might change her mind ind if they’re called “beacon cities,” ities,” even though no new rules ules would be attached. She e claims bike lanes are bad for public ic safety and traffic (without citing evidence), even ven though dozens of studies show they’re good for public safety and traffic. She also verbally accosted a cyclist on the North Side who was obeying all traffic laws. Not cool.

Pine-Richland School Board This board came onto our radar after it ruled last year to prohibit transgender students from using the bathroom that matches their gender identity. The ruling spurred three lawsuits by transgender

agner Scott W

Darlene

Harris

students, and in February, a judge ruled that Pine-Richland’s policy was discriminatory. Just two weeks ago, the board reversed its ruling by a vote of 6-2, and days later the lawsuits were settled. But you don’t get credit for being a champion of LGBTQ rights when you changed your position only because a court told you to. CP isn’t convinced that the board’s shit no longer stinks; keep an eye out for how it fares on LGBTQ issues in the future.

M Murrysville ill Municipal Councilors Rich people get screwed over by politicians, too. Murrysville, the region’s 10th wealthiest community, did little to protect residents from potential environmental problems when it passed a fracking ordinance this past May. More than 600 concerned residents offered suggestions, like increasing the drill-pad setback length and updating zoning to limit where drillers can operate, but councilors instead voted 6-1 to allow frackers to drill in the bedroom community. Council did approve a 750-foot setback, but environmentalists say one mile should be the minimum. A gas rig should look good next to that fancy infinity pool.

Mount Lebanon anon Township Commissioners oners

W Woodland Hills School Board Sc I June, a group of leaders from 12 In municipalities in the Woodland Hills School District issued a vote of no-confidence to the school board. For more than a year, activists have called for the firing of Woodland Hills High School Principal Kevin Murray, who was placed on leave after he was recorded threatening to punch a student. He was later reinstated. This year, footage emerged of Murray holding down a student’s head while he was being handcuffed. A letter from the municipal leaders claimed the board was not taking these incidents seriously.

Pennsylvania Poop State Sen. Scott Wagner (R-YORK)

Wagner actually admits climate clim change is which is a step happening, w forward for Republicans. But this year he took two “I’m drivin’ here!” must when he claimed steps back w be Mount Lebanon’ss that climate change can equivalent to NYC’s be attributed attribute to the heat “I’m walkin’ here!” by human bodies. generated b Commissioner John Bendel Wagner’s claims about c (D-Ward 1) introduced ed a bill heat have been body hea that would fine pedestrians estrians debunked by hundreds debunke up to $300 for jaywalking king scientists, who of sci in a town with a maintain that mai vibrant, walkable climate change is a clim business district and a result of man-made res walking-only school emissions of carbon em system. Commissioners ers dioxide. Wagner’s diox unanimously approved ved Mike Stack lack of understanding the ordinance, and the about the causes of Mount Lebanon Police Chief supported climate change is especially troubling, as the vote by claiming the region has a lot of he’s currently running for governor. “pedestrian entitlement.” Meanwhile, car crashes involving driver error in Pennsylvania increased 14 percent from 2014-2016.

Lt. Gov. Mike Stack

Moon Township Supervisor James Vitale Despite widespread opposition from residents and local businesses, Vitale

(D-PHILADELPHIA) It’s been a rough year for this official, and the shit really hit the fan in April. That month, complaints surfaced about the Stack family’s alleged abusive treatment of state-assigned staff members at the lieutenant governor’s mansion, and he was CONTINUES ON PG. 10

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08.02/08.09.2017

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criticized for trying to expense thousandss of dollars in hotel stays in Philadelphia, where he owns a home. Stack is the highestestpaid lieutenant governor in the country ($160,000). He is currently being investigated ated by the state’s inspector general, but still plans to run for re-election next year.

Former Gov. Ed Rendell dell (D-PHILADELPHIA)

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According to recent reports, the former governor gave a $310,000 bonus to a consultant who was hired ed to help bring the Democratic National onal Convention to Pennsylvania. The bonus has been criticized because e the consultant, Kevin Washo, was vice e president of a firm that was also paid $243,000 for helping Philadelphia secure the convention. Rendell served as chairman of the committee and authorized nearly $1 million in bonuses for committee staff. Of the $86 million raised by the committee, $10 million came from Pennsylvania taxpayers.

Still Circling g the Bowl owl Speaker of the Pa. a. House Mike Turzai zai

Mike Tu

rzai

failed to get his Republican House majority to even consider his idea. He appears more consumed with messaging than with actually governing; for years, his Wikipedia page has been edited by state House GOP staffers, who have consistently tly deleted critical passages and replaced them with fluffy praise. We wonder and often unsourced pr back-to-back Shit List if Turzai’s back will make his accolades wil Wikipedia page. pa

State Rep. Daryl Metcalfe (R–CRANBERRY) (R–CRAN

It’s no sur surprise that state Daryl Metcalfe Rep. D makes a second mak straight appearance stra In his crusade to on the Shit List, never raise or create te because he is, after bec taxes — not even a an asshole. As all, a popular severance head of the House tax on fracking e lf ca Daryl Met state-government companies — Turzaii committee, he spent the past year has once again helped d continuing to block LGBTQ anti-discrimination steer the state into a potential budget legislation. He’s also railed against sanctuary impasse. His solution to fill Pennsylvania’s cities, and carried President Trump’s water $2 billion budget shortfall was to borrow during the federal investigation into nonfunds, and take money that subsidizes existent voter fraud; he appears to hate the recycling, farmland-preservation and environment, unions and a minimum-wage highway-beautification programs. But he

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increase. He really hates undocumented immigrants. He recently released a video decrying the â&#x20AC;&#x153;intolerant left,â&#x20AC;? claiming that after an immigration debate, Philadelphia state Rep. Brian Sims, who is openly gay, allegedly called Metcalfe an â&#x20AC;&#x153;ignorant bigot.â&#x20AC;? Metcalfe was outraged by this, while the rest of us simply thought, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yeah, that sounds about right.â&#x20AC;?

transparency makes him a shitty representative. Rothfus casts himself as a champion of the working class, even as he receives the bulk of his campaign donations from the finance industry. He told constituents in June that Trumpâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nixing of environmental regulations led to 70 Somerset County coal-mining jobs, but the expansion was more likely caused by increased demand from Asia. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also been a broken record for more than two terms about repealing the Affordable Care Act. However, his party, despite controlling both congressional chambers, is having trouble doing that. The public could call Rothfus out for his bullshit at a district town-hall meeting, but, unfortunately, he has never actually held one.

Pennsylvania State Sen. Guy Reschenthaler (R-JEFFERSON HILLS) In April, Reschenthaler voted in favor of a piece of legislation that would allow the National Rifle Association and other organizations to sue cities that have passed gun-control measures they deem unconstitutional. These suits could financially burden cities like Pittsburgh that have passed laws requiring gun owners to report lost or stolen firearms. He also voted for legislation passed by the senate in June to allow teachers and staff to carry firearms in school. Both pieces of legislation have been called â&#x20AC;&#x153;dangerousâ&#x20AC;? by organizations working to reduce gun violence.

Pa. State Rep. Dom Costa (D-STANTON HEIGHTS) Costa hasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t learned much from last yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s criticism of his poor stances on immigrant

osta

Dom C

U.S. Rep. Tim Murphy

rights. Though he did drop cosponsorship of a bill forcing colleges es to communicate with U.S. immigration ation officials, he still appears to lack the e in-depth knowledge that normally ly leads Democrats to support undocumented immigrants. Costa says he supports immigrants, but they have to be â&#x20AC;&#x153;going through the legal process to be documented.â&#x20AC;? Experts say many undocumented immigrants, particularly the poor, have little to no opportunity to gain citizenship. Also, state politicians like Costa have no jurisdiction over peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s immigration status; thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a federal matter.

(R-UPPER ST. CLAIR) Keith R othfus

Federal Feces U.S. Rep. Keith Rothfus (R-SEWICKLEY) His clever messaging contributes to his popularity in District 12, but his lack of

Murphyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most recent â&#x20AC;&#x153;supportâ&#x20AC;? for mental-health reform is toothless. Murphy, a licensed psychologist, did some good by helping to craft and pass the Cures Act, in 2016, but he also voted for the GOPâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ACA repeal, which risked kicking 4 million Americans with mental illness and substance-abuse disorders off Medicaid, a government program that provides healthcare to disabled and low-income people. Murphy argued the repeal would actually improve mental-health coverage, CONTINUES ON PG. 12

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contradicting the opinions of severall other experts and mental-health-care e organizations, as well as common sense. nse.

U.S. Sen. Pat Toomey y (R-LEHIGH) The Pennsylvanian senator is a bully who talks a big game, but trips over his own wn punches. Toomey was one of the main in authors of the Senate’s proposal to repeal the ACA, which could strip health alth insurance from 22 million people. However, he failed to convince a Republican majority and the measure failed 43-57. Toomey has also been crusading against “dangerous sanctuary cities” (which studies actually show have lower-than-average crime), but his 2016 bill to strip sanctuary cities of funding also failed to clear the Senate. Also, his tele-town halls held on an hour’s notice with no actual input from the public are not town halls.

Donald Trum

President Donald Trump (R-NEW YORK) The first six months of President Trump’s administration have been — somewhat predictably — a ceaseless shitstorm. Beyond the threat his presidency poses to the people of the United States and the people

outside of it (read: all people), as well as to democracy, LGBTQ rights, the safety of immigrants, civility, climate (read: the livability of planet Earth) and cultural standards of appropriate tie-length, there’s the infuriating reality that the dude will never ever realize it. When it all comes tumbling down — and it’s likely that it will — he will never admit his hand in it, never own his many failures, never cop to his spectacular incompetence. And there’s nothing shittier than that. The Shit List was compiled and written by City Paper staffers Rebecca Addison, Charlie Deitch, Ryan Deto and Alex Gordon.

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Unique styling at SALON IAOMO is done with impeccable precision to keep your hair looking terrific for weeks to come. With many years of industry experience & ongoing education in innovative techniques, co-owners Roberta Kozel & Maureen Haley and their friendly, professional team are fully qualified, dedicated and ready 2101 Greentree Rd to serve you and your beauty needs. From a full selection of hair cuts Scott Towne Ctr, #B-101 for women & men, blow dry & hair style, hair relaxers & up-do’s to hair Pittsburgh, (412) 428-0121 color, full color application, re-touch, highlights or lowlights (full/ partial), toner and corrective color. Ask about their makeovers and bridal services. For truly outstanding hair and beauty care in a sophisticated and relaxed atmosphere, visit Salon Iaomo. Mention this profile and receive 10% OFF your first appointment. Visit: www.saloniaomo.com

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Serving all faiths & cultures, SPRIGGS-WATSON FUNERAL HOME is prepared to handle any funeral service that your family may have with openness and understanding. Whether traditional, cremation, or specific cultural funeral practices, Spriggs-Watson will help you design a service that best meets your family’s needs. Possessing many years of experience, owner/Director Donald Jones offers caring 720 N Lang Ave and compassionate service. Pittsburgh Their pre-arranged, pre-financed and irrevocable trust funeral plans (412) 243-8080 help to lessen the stress surrounding the death of a loved one and alleviate the financial and emotional burden placed upon the family. Regardless of your financial circumstances, Spriggs-Watson is available 24 hours-a-day, to assist you in making all of the necessary arrangements. Visit: www.spriggsandwatson.com

THE ART & BEAUTY OF DANCE

DYNAMIC DANCE ACADEMY, LLC features expert instruction in ballet, tap, jazz, lyrical, modern & hip hop dancing with easy-tounderstand lessons. The studio offers instruction for ages 2.5 to adult. Owners/Directors Rachel D’Amico & Lynn Soika will be happy to discuss all of the classes available to you. Dancing provides students with a sense of confidence and selfworth. Their instructors teach their students proper dance alignment and excellent technique. Dynamic Dance Academy provides a disciplined understanding of dance and a self-awareness that shows the 5727 Library Rd student how to enjoy the art of dancing. They are building self-conBethel Park fidence one dance step at a time. They are the two time winners of (412) 580-5442 the 2017 “Studio of Excellence” award from the Association of Dance Conventions & Competitions, and had the highest scoring dance receiving the 2017 National World Cup Champion of Champions Award in Sandusky, Ohio. Visit: www.dynamicdance.us

FINE ART, FURNITURE & ANTIQUES ASIAN INFLUENCES offers an incomparable collection of fine

art, furniture & antiques. Located in a beautifully restored gallery in Lawrenceville, you will find a wide range of home furnishings, including ceramics, lamps & objets d’art. Pieces are carefully selected by proprietor Susan Fisher to complement any home or office décor. 3513 Butler St Butler Street has become the “go-to” destination with its galleries, Pittsburgh boutiques and growing number of cafes & restaurants. The unique (412) 621-3530 inventory has been selected from antiques emporiums, dealers and private collections throughout the U.S. The lamp may be from China, the vase from France or the desk from England, but each piece bears the imprint of the Orient. Browse their online galleries or stop by their showroom. Visit: www.asianinfluences.com NEWS

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Good fortune quickly turned to horror for a man in Allyn, Wash., who scored some raccoon roadkill to use as crab-trap bait on June 25. As the unidentified man walked toward home dragging the carcass behind him on a 15-foot rope (so he couldn’t smell it), two different vehicles stopped, and their occupants, mistakenly thinking he was dragging a dead dog, began berating the would-be fisherman. As the dispute heated up, someone produced a gun, shooting the man twice in the leg before he was struck by one of the vehicles as the assailants fled.

In New Hampshire on June 29, a state police officer stopped the 57-year-old driver of a Honda Odyssey minivan who had piled a Beverly Hillbillies-esque stack of belongings on top of his car. The collection, which was about as tall as the minivan, included a wooden chest, a bike, a floor lamp, a rake, a snow shovel, a moving dolly and a folding ladder, along with blankets and towels and a shopping cart full of items hanging off the back. Police cited the driver for negligent driving, and the car was towed away.

A Canada Day parade in southern Ontario sparked a flood of typically mild protests over Dave Szusz’s float, which featured a 3-meter-tall blow-up Jesus (holding a baby sheep) and several real sheep. “I thought it was kind of sad to see sheep out with very loud blasting music, out in the heat in the city,” said animal-rights activist Dan MacDonald. Others flooded Szusz with complaints on Facebook. Szusz and MacDonald have since talked it out, although MacDonald still hopes Szusz will discontinue using sheep on his floats.

Flower girls at weddings often steal the show, and Georgiana Arlt of Chaska, Minn., was no exception as she walked down the aisle on July 1. The 92-year-old grandmother of the bride, Abby Arlt, told her granddaughter the only other wedding she had been in was her own, when she was 20 years old. Abby had hoped to have her grandfather as the ring bearer, but he passed away last year.

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Villagers in the eastern Thailand province of Amnat Charoen have called in the Royal Thai Police Force to help rid them of an evil female spirit, “phi pob,” they accuse of killing four cows and sickening four border police officers, reported the BBC in June. In Thai folklore, phi pob can possess people and sow chaos, including a 2016 incident in which neighbors were forced to strip naked at gunpoint by three reportedly possessed individuals. Adul Chaitprasithkul, the local police chief, noted, “More people believe in phi pob than those who don’t.”

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Police in Dearborn, Mich., are hoping a thief’s unusual loot may draw him back to the scene of the crime. Surveillance video at a Walgreens store captured a bald man making off with seven boxes of Rogaine, a hair-growth product, on June 22. “While this is not the most hair-raising crime ... it is suspected he will continue committing this type of crime, as 12 to 14 months of consistent use is needed to see results,” Police Chief Ronald Haddad said in a news release. What does ol’ St. Nick do in the offseason? Perhaps look for a bail bondsman. In a dramatic chase, Maine State Police pursued a stolen car from Fairfield to Bangor on July 4, finally striking the vehicle and bringing it to a stop. When the driver was taken into custody, he identified himself as Santa Claus. But rest easy, boys and girls: Turns out he was Christos Kassaras, 54, from New Hampshire.

Residents of Baraboo, Wis., must have done a double-take when they looked outside during the early hours of June 30. Kelly, a full-grown elephant, had escaped from the Circus World Museum nearby and wandered the neighborhood, munching on marigolds. Apparently, her partner, Isla (also an elephant), had used her trunk to free Kelly from a restraint. A trainer from Circus World was summoned, and Kelly was returned to her home at the museum. Anger over spilled sugar led a Blue Springs, Mo., grandfather to a chilly end when his grandson, Tyreik Baldwin, 21, allegedly killed Harvey C. Baldwin, 77, and stuffed him into a chest freezer. A family member who had become worried about the elder Baldwin visited the home on June 30, then called police after Tyreik hit him in the head with a hammer and drove off in the family member’s truck. Police caught up with Tyreik as he tried to escape and took him into custody.

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LISTEN AS YOU READ: SCAN THE CODE FOR OUR NEW SPOTIFY PLAYLIST, A SOUNDTRACK TO THE STORIES IN THIS SECTION, OR VISIT WWW.PGHCITYPAPER.COM/BLOGS/FFW/

NEW LOCAL RELEASES Action Camp ACTION CAMP EP (DUQUESNE LIGHT ORCHESTRA)

Action Camp’s Maura Jacob (vocals, bass) and Bengt Alexsander (guitar, vocals) performed and recorded extensively as a duo before Joe Tarowsky (also of the Park Plan) became their drummer two years ago. Pop structures and tensionand-release dynamics can be felt at the core of their new self-titled, four-song EP. What they add to each song makes all the difference. “The War at My Side” and “Turn of the Blade” featured droptuned bass and baritone guitar, and could’ve sunk in heavy-metal quicksand. But the band never takes the sound over the edge with flashy fretwork or excess. Jacob’s husky voice, which could have come up a little in the mix, maintains an understated Polly Harvey-esque tone, which adds to the tension, even at a slow tempo. “Nameless” recalls the early experimentation of My Bloody Valentine, where the vocals and drums are awash in a sea of distorted guitar chords, the ACTION CAMP results sounding CD RELEASE blissful rather than WITH HEARKEN excessive. After all AND SILENCE that, the disc closes 10:30 p.m. Sat., with an intriguing Aug. 4 Club Café, take on the early 56 S. 12th St., rock ’n’ roll classic South Side. $8. “Shakin’ All Over.” 866-468-3401 For the first half, or www.clubcafe the band strips it live.com down to just Jacob’s voice and Alexsander’s guitar and backing vocals. When Tarowsky finally enters, the release kicks the mood into high gear. Within only five songs, Action Camp has a lot of sonic ideas running wild, and the band makes them work together. BY MIKE S SHANLEY HANLEY

Your next visit it to Jerry’s s Records in n Squirrel Hilll will be a sad one e because July 30 was the last day for or owner and founder der Jerry Weber, who ho has retired after more re than 40 years in n the vinyl business. business

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

KIDDING AROUND {PHOTO COURTESY OF EMILY DUBIN}

{BY MEG FAIR}

OZWELL KID IS one of those bands

that is impossible to ignore onstage. Between the wildly catchy hooks and larger-than-life riffs, the music bursts with passion and joy, even when the lyrics offer contemplative self-deprecation, heavy nostalgia or anxious meltdowns. It’s blunt, it’s full of pop-culture references, and it sounds unbearably fun — the kind of music you want to crowd-surf to while also air-guitaring. And if that sound isn’t enough to reel you in, the classic-rock stage antics and outrageous spirit of RK will certainly keep your eyes glued to the stage. “It probably comes from consuming a lot of AC/DC, Queen, The Darkness,” vocalist and guitarist Jordan Hudkins says of the stage energy. “Our ridiculous stage antics are done with heart. We try to go with the flow, see where the fickle hand of art, the fickle finger of inspiration, the fickle compass of creativity points us.” When City Paper catches up with Hudkins, he and the rest of the band are driving through Wyoming admiring the wide-open sky and prairies spreading out before the mountain ranges on the ho-

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Rozwell Kid

rizon. It’s the band’s ﬁrst headlining tour on the West Coast, and Hudkins expresses the band’s excitement. “We’re excited to play new songs live after touring for several years on the last record,” says Hudkins. “The crowds have been so awesome, and we’re loving watching Vundabar and Great Grandpa tear it up every night.”

ROZWELL KID

WITH CHRIS FARREN, GREAT GRANDPA 7 p.m. Tue., Aug. 8. Mr. Smalls, 400 Lincoln Ave., Millvale. $12-14. All ages. 412-821-4447 or www.mrsmalls.com

On Precious Art’s opening track, “Wendy’s Trash Can,” Hudkins declares, “I’m a lightning bolt of cosmic self-expression / I’m listening to ‘Band on The Run’ and that’s it.” This is the only band that can include a person shouting, “Shred for me!” before a guitar solo without being insufferable; instead, it evokes giddy joy. Rozwell Kid gets into all sorts of shenanigans. For example, in a scheme with

SideOneDummy’s director of marketing Jamie Coletta, the band sent Potato Parcels (a service that will send your message on a potato) pitching Precious Art to reviewers like The A.V. Club. “I checked my mail one day, and there was this bag with a potato in it,” says Hudkins. “On it was a note from Jamie saying how proud she was of the record. It was a really sweet message. But then the gears started turning. What if we pitched the album to all sorts of publications using these potatoes?” Hudkins and his bandmates all have a sharp wit and sense of humor that winds its way through the band’s sound. During our conversation, Hudkins references Outback Steakhouse’s 2013 “No Rules, Just Right” campaign before confessing that guitarist Adam Meisterhans once ordered just a take-out Bloomin’ Onion from Outback. “That was one of our lowest points,” laughs Hudkins. “A Bloomin’ Onion is like five days’ worth of eating. Maybe I’m exaggerating.” But just to double-check, Hudkins pauses as someone else in the van searches for the nutrition facts online, clarifying that

Outback’s onion is 800 calories and has 58 grams of fat, 22 of which are saturated. Later on, Hudkins very casually mentions that he applied to the Art Institute of Pittsburgh, and when he came for his interview in 2003, the school rejected him because his portfolio was “too scatter-brained.” As he waited in the lobby, he watched the space shuttle Columbia explode on the news. “I guess it was a pretty dark moment,” chuckles Hudkins. When CP asks what the band’s been listening to in the van, Hudkins immediately responds that the band is currently listening to some “Red Hot Chili Peps,” specifically Blood Sugar Sex Magik. “We spin some Chili Peps at least twice a tour,” says Hudkins. “Sean [the drummer] is up there in the van just air-slapping the bass. If you’re not air-slapping the bass to some Chili Peps, what the heck are you doing, you know?” It seems so cliché to say, but Rozwell Kid is real. And it’s the realness in the lyrics and the members’ goofy personalities that endear the group to fans and make those admirers comfortable sharing with Rozwell Kid. As a result, it’s not uncommon for folks to make Rozwell Kid-inspired art and share it online or bring it as a gift at shows. “I just can’t believe that people take the time to make art inspired by our art,” Hudkins says. “I’m always blown away.” Sometimes, however, the band’s goofiness makes people skeptical of the information the band distributes on its social media. For example, Glassjaw once opened for Rozwell Kid at a show in Long Island. It wasn’t promoted ahead of time, but Glassjaw wanted to play a warm-up gig before leaving for the Wrecking Ball festival in Atlanta. “I posted a picture on the internet of Glassjaw playing, and nobody thought I was serious,” laughs Hudkins. “But they really did play before us!” For fans of the band who follow RK’s social media, it should come as no surprise that the band loves Sheetz and is happy this tour will visit the Sheetz territory of Pittsburgh. However, Hudkins does not support the Sheetz vs. Wawa war that rages between Western and Eastern Pennsylvanians. “I want to go on record and say that I am not a fan of the aggression online about Sheetz and Wawa. It’s not a competition, so there are no winners, and only losers in that game,” says Hudkins. “Both are fine establishments doing what they do well. Everyone needs to stop being confrontational, and take a step back and remember that we’ve only got a small amount of time on this blue marble. “Do we really want to spend it fighting over gas-station food?”

THE BOARD OF PUBLIC EDUCATION OF THE SCHOOL DISTRICT OF PITTSBURGH Sealed bids will be received in the Office of The Chief Operations Officer, Room 251, Administration Building, 341 South Bellefield Avenue until 11:00 A.M. prevailing time, TUESDAY, AUGUST 22, 2017 and will be opened at the same hour for the purchase of the following supplies:

ROCK SALT & ICE MELT

alleghenycounty.us/summer

General Information regarding bids may be obtained at the Office of the Purchasing Agent, Service Center, 1305 Muriel Street, Pittsburgh, PA 15203. The bid documents are available on the School District’s Purchasing web site at:

August 4 Sauce Boss with Jimbo & The Soupbones

http://www.pghboe.net/pps/site/default.asp Click on Bid Opportunities under Quick Links.

(Blues)

The Board of Public Education reserves the right to reject any and all bids, or select a single item from any bid.

August 6

“Nick’s Fat City Night” feat. Gathering Field and Brownie Mary with Scott, Rob, and Greg of The Clarks Acoustic (Rock/Pop/Folk)

All concerts are free and begin at 7:30 p.m.

Food trucks and Hop Farm Brewing Company craft beer at all concerts beginning at 6:00 p.m. 3WS

ME GFA IR @ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

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CREATIVE FREEDOM {BY ELI ENIS} IN AN AGE where social action and resis-

tance are more important than ever, it’s comforting to know that Jeff Rosenstock and Laura Stevenson are not only touring together, but also bearing the torch of the DIY ethos. Last winter, Stevenson released her first live album via Rosenstock’s Quote Unquote Records, with all of the proceeds going to Planned Parenthood. Rosenstock, now in the midst of an unexpected career high after the success of 2016’s Worry., is continuing to bring his anti-capitalist, progressive rhetoric to places he never dreamt of (i.e. Pitchfork Music Fest). “I think it’s cool to be able to contribute to a cause you stand behind by making something,” Stevenson tells City Paper. “I’ve done a bunch of comps and benefit shows for causes I care about and want to support. I like to help in those ways, because I feel like I can see a tangible contribution, a cause and effect.” Rosenstock and Stevenson both grew up on Long Island, N.Y., and met each other through Rosenstock’s first band, The Arrogant Sons of Bitches. After the ASOBs disbanded, Rosenstock enlisted Stevenson as the keyboardist for his next band, the DIY powerhouse Bomb The Music Industry! That band maintained a cult following throughout the mid-2000s by way of touring relentlessly and self-releasing gobs of material. “During that time, he definitely mentored me while I was kind of privately writing songs, and he urged me to play them for people and to get a band together. My first band was basically all of the members of Bomb The Music Industry!,” Stevenson says. Eventually, around the time Bomb! ended in the early 2010s, Stevenson began putting out her own music. Her first, A Record, was released through Asian Man Records. The next three, her most recent being 2015’s Cocksure, which Rosenstock actually produced, were through the respected indie label Don Giovanni Records. “It’s very cool to close out that record cycle with a tour with him,” she says. The month-long run, which is taking

Laura Stevenson

them all across the U.S. (and parts of Canada), is particularly special for Stevenson because of her history with Rosenstock, as well as his longtime bassist, John DeDomenici. “It’s a really nice full circle for me,” Stevenson says. “[Rosenstock and DeDomenici] took me on my ﬁrst-ever tour, and they taught me how to be in a band and how to book shows. I honestly wouldn’t be doing this if it weren’t for them.” When the tour stops in Pittsburgh, fans will get the chance to experience some of the camaraderie that helped birth their respective solo careers in the ﬁrst place.

“IT’S VERY COOL TO CLOSE OUT THAT RECORD CYCLE WITH A TOUR WITH HIM.”

LAURA STEVENSON WITH JEFF ROSENSTOCK, DOG PARTY

7 p.m. Sun., Aug. 6. Mr. Smalls Funhouse, 400 Lincoln Ave., Millvale. $13-15. All ages. 412-821-4447 or www.mrsmalls.com

“John has been playing bass for me on this tour, and [Rosenstock’s drummer, Kevin Higuchi] has been playing drums, so it has been very collaborative,” she says. “Also, Jeff and I were talking today about what songs he’d want to play guitar on so ... it’s about to get even more fun.” I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

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diesel C LU B | LO U N G E

UPCOMING CONCERTS 8/3 | 7:00 PM | AA

8/7 | 7:00 PM | AA

8 /8 | 7: 00 PM | 21+

8/ 10 | 7:00 PM | AA

FAREWELL TO RACHEL B SHOW 8 /25 | 7: 00 PM | 21+ {CP PHOTO BY SARAH WILSON}

The Beagle Brothers

[LOCAL BEAT]

POWERING ON

9/7 | 7: 00 PM | 21+

UPCHURCH THE REDNECK 9/9 | 7:00 PM | AA

{BY MIKE SHANLEY}

INCE THE BEAGLE Brothers released

their sophomore album ﬁve years ago, the band members’ lives have taken turns akin to characters like the ones in the country songs they play. Two members got divorced. Two got married (one for a second time). Two became parents. While all of that could be fodder for its new album, the band itself also went through some major transformations. A longtime acoustic group, the players decided to go electric. After years of getting their percussive drive from Kyle Kline’s upright bass, they now have a full-time drummer in Ezra Smith, the blood brother of frontmen Noah and Gabriel Smith. Not only did Kline ditch his upright bass for a bass guitar, he recently left the Steel City for Austin, Texas. (Erin Snyder now plays with the band, but Kline will return for the band’s CD-release show.) Sitting in its Bloomﬁeld practice space, the band says the new Hearts Go By record was three years in the making. They’ve come a long way from the group of friends learning their favorite country songs over a case of beer. “We have this long history as a band and, in Pittsburgh, we can fall back on that,” says pedal-steel guitarist Read Connolly. “But in

terms of the product we have here — with Ezra [joining], and this new arrangement of instrumentation and the fact that we’re trying to promote this on a national level — in a lot of ways I feel like it’s our first record.” Kline, who joins the conversation via Skype, agrees. “It’s the first record that we’ve really taken serious from start to finish,” he says.

cism if things weren’t clicking. “That was very different for us,” says Noah Smith. “We’re all very self-conscious about bringing songs to practice. It’s already a hard thing, so we had [DiStefano’s] critical ear right out of the gate saying, ‘That sounds like the last song you wrote.’ Which we got used to, but it was tough too.” Hearts Go By proves the efforts paid off. The arrangements are bolstered by Connolly’s pedal-steel lines, DiStefano’s keyboard contributions and the multi-dimensional lyrics of brothers Noah and Gabriel. Like good country singers, the songs acknowledge the band’s roots (a Gabriel Smith original is boldly titled “I Walk the Line”), discuss troubled relationships (“Loving/Sleeping”) and tug at the heart strings (the title track, with a guest vocal by Kayla Schureman). Still, renewed work ethic aside, the “Architects of the Bloomﬁeld Sound,” as they have been called, still maintain the self-deprecating quality for good measure. The album “is on the verge of sounding like what I think a real band should sound like,” Noah Smith says. Without missing a beat, Gabriel Smith, embellishes the thought: “… if only we weren’t in it.”

BEAGLE BROTHERS CD RELEASE

WITH ANDRE COSTELLO & THE COOL MINORS, KAYLA SCHUREMAN 9 p.m. Fri., Aug. 4. Howlers, 4509 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. $5. 412-682-0320 or www.howlerspittsburgh.com

Noah Smith explains that process was much different this time around. “Prior to this, we’ve never written [songs] with the intention of writing a record,” he says. “This one has been more deliberate, more practiced and workshopped.” Dino DiStefano, who has recorded all the Beagle Brothers’ albums, began coming to practices to help the band ﬁne-tune its material, occasionally offering harsh criti-

9/ 14 | 9: 00 PM | 18 +

WILL HOGE

9/ 19 | 8 : 00 PM | 21+

9/20 I 8:00 PM I AA

9/21 I 7: 00 PM I 21+

9/28 | 7:00 PM | AA

for tickets visit DIESELPGH.COM or Dave’s Music Mine (southside) 1801 e. carson st | pittsburgh |412.481.8800

INF O@PGHC ITYPAPE R.C OM

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{PHOTO COURTESY OF MICHAEL DELANEY}

CRITICS’ PICKS

The Wild Reeds

[THROWBACK] + SAT., AUG. 05

Do yourself a giant favor and catch Philadelphian Bilal at the August Wilson Center tonight. He has a dynamic sound, incorporating soul and funk influences but innovating with modern beats. His 2015 album In Another Life is dynamic and unpredictable, featuring guest vocals from Kendrick Lamar and Kimbra. Bilal’s voice can fall low, but more often than not, he stays in a Prince-like falsetto, which is maybe best demonstrated on album standouts like “Pleasure Toy” or in his astounding tribute to The Purple One at the 2016 BET awards. (Do yourself a favor and watch that too.) Hannah Lynn 8 p.m. 980 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $25. 412-456-6666 or www.trustarts.org

You know what they say: The years start coming and they don’t stop coming! It’s been 16 years since Shrek gave us one of the greatest moments in cinematic history, when the green ogre himself kicks open the door of his outhouse at the exact moment the 1999 hit “All Star” begins to play. It was one of a couple Shrek-related moments that shot California rock band Smash Mouth to fame. Ahead of their Three Rivers Regatta performance today at Point State Park, an anonymous, beautiful, genius posted an ad on Craigslist encouraging people to come to the show dressed as Shrek in order to help the band “feel at home.” Whether the audience is full of ogres or not, you’ll enjoy some quality throwback tunes by the river. HL 6 p.m. 100 Commonwealth Ave., Downtown. Free. www. yougottaregatta.org

[FOLK] + FRI., AUG. 04 I always expect to be bored by groups of three women singing folk songs in pretty harmonies, but I never am. It’s a sound chemically designed to lull you into a Bilal calm, like sirens luring sailors. Los Angelesbased The Wild Reeds follows the format, but switches roles between songs: who sings lead, who plays the guitar, the banjo, the accordion. Their sound centers around strong harmonies and wistful lyrics, in the same vein as such peers as The Staves and First Aid Kit. It’s nostalgic enough to use the emotional tinge of a harmonica but not so nostalgic as to avoid the electric guitar. Joining them tonight at Mr. Smalls is local singer-songwriter Angela Autumn. HL 9 p.m. 400 Lincoln Ave., Millvale. $12-14. 18+. 412-821-4447 or www.mrsmalls.com

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

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{PHOTO COURTESY OF KAWAI MATTHEWS}

[NEO SOUL] + FRI., AUG. 04

[SYNTH POP] + WED., AUG. 09 For most of us, Oklahoma brings to mind the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical of the same name, and the Dust Bowl. But Okla.-based Sports has me thinking we should start associating it with great synth pop. While the band employs an ’80s throwback vibe, it always feels fresh, self-aware and a little unsettling. The group’s latest album, People Can’t Stop Chillin’, features eerie but upbeat tracks like “Manicure,” with an accompanying video depicting a neon-lit nightmare of disembodied, but beautifully manicured, hands crawling up the walls. Sports will bring its funky tunes to Spirit, along with the experimental pop of L.A.based Yeek. HL 9 p.m. 242 51st St., Lawrenceville. $10. 21+. 412-586-4441 or spiritpgh.com

TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://PGHCITYPAPER.COM/HAPPENINGS {ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

ROCK/POP THU 03 DIESEL. Chris Webby & Justina. 7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-8800. HOWLERS. Osmia Avosetta, That’s My Brother, Amadea, Futurism. 9 p.m. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320.

THE R BAR. Cosmic Attack Blues Band. 9:30 p.m. Dormont. 412-942-0882.

Col. Eagleburger’s Highstepping Goodtime Band. 8 p.m. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320.

SUN 06

TUE 08

SAT 05

DIESEL. Men Without Hats. CLUB RADIOACTIVE. Thieves 7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-8800. & Lovers w/ Welcome Home & THE LAMP THEATRE. Parry Adams. Intervention. 6 p.m. 724-388-9540. 7:30 p.m. Irwin. 724-367-4000. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & STAGE AE. Dashboard SPEAKEASY. Safety Last. 3 p.m. Confessional w/ The North Side. 412-904-3335. All-American Rejects, MR. SMALLS THEATER. The Maine. 6:30 p.m. ONE OK ROCK. 6 p.m. North Side. Millvale. 412-821-4447. 412-229-5483. THE R BAR. Billy ww. r w the Kid’s Steel Town pape pghcitym All-Stars. 7 p.m. .co JAMES STREET Dormont. 412-942-0882. GASTROPUB & SHADYSIDE NURSERY. SPEAKEASY. Scott Sharrard & Essential Machine & Chet Vincent. The Brickyard Band. 8 p.m. 5 p.m. Shadyside. 412-251-6058. North Side. 412-904-3335.

BAJA BAR AND GRILL. Switch Band. 8 p.m. Fox Chapel. 412-963-0640. DIESEL. Austin John & more. 7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-8800. HOWLERS. The Jasons, The Young Rochelles & Rocky Dennis Face. 9 p.m. Bloomfield. 740-424-0302.

CLUB CAFE. Whiskerman. 7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-4950. DIESEL. Arsonists Get All The Girls, I Set My Friends On Fire, Circuit of Suns & more. 7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-8800. HOWLERS. Red Pony Clock,

FRI 04 BAJA BAR AND GRILL. NightLife Band. 8 p.m. Fox Chapel. 412-963-0640. MR. SMALLS THEATER. Jimmy Herring & the Invisible Whip. 7:30 p.m. Millvale. 412-821-4447. THE SHOP. Cruel Noise w/ Dark Thoughts, Secret Tombs & Eel. 7 p.m. Bloomfield. 412-951-0622.

FULL LIST ONLINE

WED 09

MON 07

MP 3 MONDAY THE VELCRO SHOES

DJS THU 03 BELVEDERE’S. NeoNoir Dark 80s w/ Erica Scary. First Thu. of every month. 10 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555. MR. SMALLS THEATER. Centrifuge Thursdays. At the Funhouse. 9 p.m. Millvale. 412-821-4447. PERLE CHAMPAGNE BAR. Bobby D Bachata. 10 p.m. Downtown. 412-471-2058.

3603 BUTLER ST

DISAPPEARINGINK.NET

724-972-7734

LET S GET ’

S CIAL

FRI 04 {PHOTO COURTESY OF MATT DAYAK}

PITTSBURGH, PA 15201

ANDYS WINE BAR. DJ Malls Spins Vinyl. 5 p.m. Downtown. 412-773-8884. BRILLOBOX. Pandemic : Global Dancehall, Cumbia, Bhangra, Balkan Bass. First Fri. of every month, 9:30 p.m. Bloomfield. 412-621-4900. THE FLATS ON CARSON. Pete Butta. 10 p.m. South Side. 412-586-7644. ONE 10 LOUNGE. DJ Goodnight, DJ Rojo. 9 p.m. Downtown. 412-874-4582. ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance. 10 p.m. South Side. 412-431-2825. RUGGER’S PUB. 80s Night w/ DJ Connor. 9 p.m. South Side. 412-381-1330.

SAT 05 BELVEDERE’S. Sean MC & Thermos. 90s night. First Sat. of every month. 10 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555. CATTIVO. Illusions. w/ Funerals & Arvin Clay. First Sat. of every month, 9 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2157. DIESEL. DJ CK. 10 p.m. South Side. 412-431-8800. PERLE CHAMPAGNE BAR. DJ Tenova. ladies night. 9 p.m. Downtown. 412-471-2058.

Each week, we post a song from a local artist online for free. This week, it’s the closing track from The Velcro Shoes’ new album All That You Are (album release show at Brillobox on Aug. 12). “Times Are Different” is a smart, percussiondriven track from this indie-rock four piece that only clocks in at a little over four minutes but feels unexpectedly epic. Stream or download “Times Are Different” for free from FFW>>, the music blog at pghcitypaper.com.

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CONTINUES ON PG. 24

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CONCERTS, CONTINUED FROM PG. 23

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance. 10 p.m. South Side. 412-431-2825. SPIRIT HALL & LODGE. TITLE TOWN Soul & Funk Party. Rare Soul, Funk & wild R&B 45s feat. DJ Gordy G. & J.Malls First Sat. of every month, 9 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-586-4441.

EARLY WARNINGS Dick Dale

SAT 05

THE GOLDMARK. Pete Butta. Reggae & dancehall. 10 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-688-8820.

THE SHARP EDGE CREEKHOUSE. Tracy Lee Simmen. 7 p.m. Crafton. 412-922-8118. WALNUT GRILL. Eclectic Acoustics. 8 p.m. Robinson. 412-747-2100.

WED 09 SMILING MOOSE. Rock Star Karaoke w/ T-MONEY. 9:30 p.m. South Side. 412-431-4668.

SUN 06

HIP HOP/R&B

[SUN., AUG. 13]

Dick Dale

WED 09

Rex Theater, 1602 E. Carson St., South Side

STAGE AE. Die Antwoord. 6:30 p.m. North Side. 412-229-5483.

[SAT., SEPT. 16]

Sylvan Esso Stage AE, 400 North Shore Drive, North Side

FRI 04

[SUN., SEPT. 24]

ARSENAL CIDER HOUSE & WINE CELLAR. Still Not Sober. 5 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-682-7699. BISTRO 9101. The Blues Orphans. 7:30 p.m. McCandless. 412-318-4871.

SAT 05 EXCUSES BAR & GRILL. Bill Toms & Hard Rain. 9 p.m. South Side. 412-431-4090.

Tei Shi

Cattivo, 146 44th St., Lawrenceville

JAZZ THU 03 JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Roger Humphries Jam Session. Ballroom. 8 p.m. North Side. 412-904-3335. RILEY’S POUR HOUSE. Jazz Happy Hour w/ Martin Rosenberg. 5:30 p.m. Carnegie. 412-279-0770. SPIRIT HALL & LODGE. The Clock Reads, Manic Soul & Eastend Mile. 8 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-586-4441. VALLOZZI’S PITTSBURGH. Eric Johnson. 5:30 p.m. Downtown. 412-394-3400.

SPEAKEASY. Funk You, The Funky Fly Project. 7 p.m. North Side. 412-904-3335. KENNEDY PARK. Erin Burkett & Virgil Walters w/ Max Leake & Mike Tomaro. 6 p.m. New Kensington. ROCKS LANDING BAR & GRILLE. Tony Campbell, John Hall, Howie Alexander & Dennis Garner. 7 p.m. McKees Rocks. 412- 875-5809.

MON 07 HAMBONE’S. Ian Kane, Ronnie Weiss & Tom Boyce. Jazz Standards, showtunes & blues. 6:30 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

FULL LIST E N O LIN

TUE 08

ANDORA RESTAURANT CITY OF ASYLUM - FOX CHAPEL. Pianist @ ALPHABET CITY. Harry Cardillo & vocalist Roger Humphries. Charlie Sanders. 6:30 p.m. 8 p.m. North Side. www. per a p Fox Chapel. 412-967-1900. 412-435-1110. pghcitym o .c JAMES STREET JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Max Leake Trio. SPEAKEASY. Aubrey Bruce 7 p.m. North Side. 412-904-3335. & The East Coast Project. 7 p.m. VINOSKI WINERY. Tania Grubbs. North Side. 412-904-3335. 6 p.m. Greensburg. 724-872-3333. RILEY’S POUR HOUSE. Jazz Happy Hour w/ Martin Rosenberg. 5:30 p.m. Carnegie. 412-279-0770. CIOPPINO RESTAURANT & CIGAR BAR. Lucarelli Jazz w/ Peg Willson. 7 p.m. Strip District. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & 412-519-2680. SPEAKEASY. Roger Romero. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & 7 p.m. North Side. 412-904-3335. SPEAKEASY. The Tony Campbell RIVERS CLUB. Jessica Lee & Jam Session. Speakeasy. 5 p.m. Friends. Second Wed. of every Jessica Lee. 8 p.m. North Side. month, 5:30 p.m. Downtown. 412-904-3335. 412-391-5227. THE MONROEVILLE RACQUET CLUB. Jazz Bean Live. 7 p.m. Monroeville. 412-728-4155.

SAT 05

WED 09

ACOUSTIC

SUN 06 JAMES STREET GASTROPUB &

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

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HAMBONE’S. Calliope Old Time Appalachian Jam. First Sun. of every month, 5 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

WED 09 ALLEGHENY ELKS LODGE #339. Pittsburgh Banjo Club. 8 p.m. North Side. 412-321-1834. PARK HOUSE. Shelf Life String Band. 9 p.m. North Side. 412-224-2273. WHEELFISH. Jason Born. 7 p.m. Ross. 412-487-8909.

REGGAE THU 03

FRI 04

FRI 04 BEER HEAD BAR. Eclectic Acoustics. 8 p.m. North Side. 412-322-2337.

TUE 08

BLUES

ELWOOD’S PUB. West Deer Bluegrass Review. First Thu. of every month, 7:30 p.m. Rural Ridge. 724-265-1181.

THU 03

THE BULLPEN. Eclectic Acoustics. 5 p.m. Avella. 724-356-3000.

PIRATA. The Flow Band. 9 p.m. Downtown. 412-323-3000.

SUN 06 BAJA BAR AND GRILL. Flow Band. 2 p.m. Fox Chapel. 412-963-0640.

WED 09 CLUB CAFE. Pasadena w/ Lovebettie. 7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-4950.

OTHER MUSIC THU 03 LINDEN GROVE. Karaoke. 8 p.m. Castle Shannon. 412-882-8687. RIVERS CASINO. Billy the Kid Trio. 7 p.m. North Side. 412-231-7777. STAGE AE. Social Distortion. 7 p.m. North Side. 412-229-5483.

FRI 04 ARSENAL CIDER HOUSE WEXFORD. Charles Godwin. 4:30 p.m. Wexford. 724-777-2402. RIVERS CASINO. Kenny Blake Trio. 9 p.m. North Side. 412-231-7777.

SAT 05 DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Granati’s Dueling Pianos. 8:30 p.m. Robinson. 412-489-5631. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Afro Yaqi Music Collective. 8 p.m. North Side. 412-904-3335. RIVERS CASINO. Ferris Bueller’s Revenge. 9 p.m. Kevin Howard Trio. 9 p.m. North Side. 412-231-7777.

TUE 08 SEVICHE. Hot Salsa & Bachata Nights. 10 p.m. Downtown. 843-670-8465.

What to do IN PITTSBURGH

August 2-8 WEDNESDAY 2 Backup Planet

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY North Side. 412-904-3335. With special guest Voodoo Circuit. Over 21 show. Tickets: greyareadprod. com. 8p.m.

Bring It! LIVE HEINZ HALL Downtown. 412-456-6666. Tickets: trustarts.org. 7:30p.m.

THURSDAY 3 Social Distortion

STAGE AE North Side. With special guest Jade Jackson. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. Doors open at 7p.m.

With special guests House of Soul, Guarcha & Cello Fury. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 6:30p.m.

Bilal

AUGUST WILSON CENTER Downtown. 412-456-6666. Tickets: trustarts.org. 8p.m.

NEWS

BENEDUM CENTER. 412-456-6666. Tickets: pittsburghclo.org. Through Aug. 13.

SOUTH PARK. With special guest Jimbo & the Soupbones. Free show. For more info visit alleghenycounty.us/summer. 7:30p.m.

Cliff Barnes AGNES KATZ PLAZA Downtown. 412-456-6666. Free show. 5p.m.

Pittsburgh Underground Film Festival

Dashboard Confessional & The All-American Rejects

MELWOOD SCREENING ROOM Oakland. For tickets and more info visit reelq.org/ puff. Through Aug. 6.

SATURDAY 5 ALLEGHENY COMMONS PARK EAST North Side. Free event. For more info visit for more info visit pittsburgh vegfest.org. 11a.m.

Ambitions

SHERWOOD EVENT CENTER Wilkinsburg. 412-342-1351.

TUESDAY 8

Million Dollar Quartet

SUNDAY 6

Sizzling Sounds of Summer

Cod. Over 21 show. Tickets: ticketweb.com/opusone. 8p.m.

Sauce Boss

Vegfest

FRIDAY 45

BRING IT! LIVE HEINZ HALL AUGUST 2

MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-421-4447.

MUSIC

With special guest Set It Off & Palisades. All ages show. Tickets: ticketweb.com/opus one. 7p.m.

Gathering Field & Brownie Mary HARTWOOD ACRES PARK. With special guests Scott, Rob & Greg of the Clarks Acoustic. Free show. For more info visit alleghenycounty.us/summer. 7:30p.m.

City in the Clouds BLACK FORGE COFFEE HOUSE Arlington. 412-291-8994. With special guest Johnny Walylko. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 6:30p.m.

ARTS

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Alesana

REX THEATER South Side.

TASTE

412-381-1681. With special guests Eyes Set to Kill, Lakeshore, Alteras & The Amatory Murder. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 6:30p.m.

Tesla THE PALACE THEATRE Greensburg. 724-836-8000. With special guests The Cringe & Voices Of Extreme. All ages show. Tickets: thepalacetheatre.org. 7:30p.m.

Whiskerman

MONDAY 7

STAGE AE North Side. With special guests The Maine & The Social Animals. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. Doors open at 6:30p.m.

CLUB CAFE South Side. 412-431-4950. With special guests The Me Toos & Cape

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[BOOK REVIEW]

SOMETHING OF THE REGION’S SOUL IS HERE

ADULTING Even in a culture where adolescence can stretch into one’s 30s, many of us are embarrassed by our self-identified inability to be competent grownups. But in his new essay collection, Manchild: My Life Without Adult Supervision (Six Gallery Press, $12), Alan Olifson owns it, often hilariously. In 38 essays over 144 pages, the comedian and humorist explores his general life-skills deficit, from childhood tee-ball traumas and collegiate drinking binges to his foibles as a parent. If the essays, just two to four pages long each, read like monologues or humor columns — David Sedaris crossed with Dave Barry — Olifson comes by it honestly. The California native moved to Pittsburgh in 2011 and is best known here as the expert host of the Moth StorySlam and storytelling series WordPlay. Many of these essays originated as pieces for WordPlay, which Olifson created while still in Los Angeles. While some of his subject matter is unique — the eeriness of baby toys; his life-long desire to wear glasses — most of it is familiar comedy fare: hair loss, quitting smoking, how the Olympics make him feel inadequate. One thing that transforms it all is Olifson’s rapid-fire pacing and joke-writing facility: He’s got a million of ’em. An orientation meeting for a terrrible job “might have been interesting to someone coming out of a thirteen-year coma.” He punctuates his discovery that jury duty is boring by noting that “Contrary to popular belief, Lady Justice isn’t blindfolded so she can do tequila shooters.” On the rise of the Starbucks date: “Great, because when I’m trying to impress someone, I really want them to be more alert.” The book is organized neither thematically nor chronologically, so that in one essay he’s married with a kid, and the next he’s single, only to emerge pages later as married again. The term “manchild” notwithstanding, we hear nearly as much about his days as a young son as about his time as a middle-aged dad. A couple essays are lackluster, and the proofreading is spotty. But Manchild is perfect bathroom reading, and that’s no insult: While he’s not a polished prose stylist, Olifson has the raconteur’s knack for using an entertaining yarn to make a cogent point. A good example is “Man of the House,” in which his risible home-repair skills become a concise metaphor for both his hopes and his insecurities about fatherhood and adulthood alike.

Alan Olifson {PHOTO COURTESY OF HANDERSON GOMES}

{BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

{IMAGE COURTESY OF THE ARTIST}

An untitled 2010/2017 photo from Ross Mantle’s series In The Wake

[ART REVIEW]

EYE ON PITTSBURGH {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

ENERABLE ART galleries in Pittsburgh are probably more likely to close than they are to get shiny new digs. So last year, when Silver Eye Center for Photography announced it was leaving its long-time home on the South Side, it was good to hear that it was only for greener pastures on the Penn Avenue arts corridor, in Bloomfield. Appropriately, the 36-year-old Silver Eye re-emerges with Past Present Future: Western Pennsylvania’s People and Places, a rich and sprawling show that looks backward, around and forward, both at the medium Silver Eye celebrates and the region it inhabits. Visitors familiar with Silver Eye’s intimate former storefront space on East Carson Street will appreciate the spacious, modestly chic new venue on the first floor of a newer mixed-use structure. It has high ceilings, a big main gallery, polished concrete floors, and floor-to-ceiling plateglass windows offering a panorama of Penn; there’s also lab and printing space,

DRISCOLL@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

08.02/08.09.2017

expanded classroom capability, and an outpost of local photo-book purveyors Spaces Corners, with sitting area and handsome book display.

PAST PRESENT FUTURE: WESTERN PENNSYLVANIA’S PEOPLE AND PLACES continues through Aug. 19. Silver Eye Center for Photography, 4808 Penn Ave., Bloomfield. 412-431-1810 or www.silvereye.org

Past Present Future, curated by Silver Eye executive director David Oresick, includes some 130 photos and two videos, all on loan from collections and individual artists, and hung salon style in loosely thematic groupings (people, place, industry, etc.). The photos date from the mid-1800s to the present, and the 40 contributors include some of the biggest names in Pittsburgh photography, from icons like W. Eugene Smith and Tee-

nie Harris to contemporary masters like Charlee Brodsky and Ross Mantle. Among the most-represented artists, however, is Duane Michals. The McKeesport native (b. 1932) pioneered, among other things, handwriting on the prints to illuminate his images. The technique is crucial to his elegaic 1982 series “I Remember Pittsburgh,” in which he revisits the people and sites of his youth, some then still here (like Kaufmann’s department store), others long gone, like a burlesque joint that became a parking lot. His “Family Portrait” poses immediate relatives in front of U.S. Steel’s Duquesne Works mill. “Now,” Michals notes of his family, “we are all gone.” From the Mon Valley or from life, he means; the mill itself would shut down just two years later. That’s Pittsburgh for you — so much is just gone, and this show recalls it vibrantly. Classic mill shots like Clyde Hare’s “Teeming Platform” — masked, long-coated workers laboring amidst rising smoke and ﬂying

[PLAY REVIEW]

TROUPERS {BY DREW PRASKOVICH}

Left to right: Lori Hammel, Sally Ann Triplett and Michelle Dawson in Pittsburgh CLO’s Mamma Mia! {PHOTO COURTESY OF ARCHIE CARPENTER}

sparks — summon a time when steelmaking remained very much a hands-on business. (For contrast, smart curation includes Ross Nugent’s 2013 short film “Steel Mill Rolling,” shot at a modern, automated Sharon, Pa., mill that appears almost unpeopled.) Viewing Smith’s “Pittsburgh (City at Night, Trees in Foreground),” you are startled to realize that you’re seeing Downtown from the perspective of the North Side — a whole neighborhood now long since plowed under stadia and raised highways. Martha Rial’s cleverly composed “Civic Arena” memorializes another nowvanished landmark; it’s like something famed photographer Luke Swank (also represented here) might have tried if he’d had a crack at a retractable dome. Teenie Harris’ 1969 photo of young men with the Garfield Teen Organization, holding an anti-policeharassment sign, suggests how little, unfortunately, some things have changed. Pittsburgh’s past is ever with us — and should be, if it’s as moving as Esther Bubley’s 1951 shots of stoical parents bringing their offspring to Children’s Hospital. The future can be represented only speculatively (here, by some photo-based collages by local middle-schoolers). The present, meanwhile, can be tough to grasp. Perhaps intentionally, little in Past Present Future, for instance, documents the much-touted “new” Pittsburgh of modern medicine, high tech, higher ed, artisanal food and boutique retail. (Though William Wade’s shot of a tuxedoed Dennis Hopper at the 1996 opening of The Andy Warhol Museum does, in retrospect, herald a cultural renaissance.) We don’t even see anyone using a computer or smart phone. Still, something of the region’s soul is here, including reminders of poverty, displaced people, and neighborhood decay as well as industrial decline. It’s in Brodsky and Njaimeh Njie’s forthright street photography; Dylan Vitone’s panoramic environmental portrait of a scruffy young couple on a Polish Hill rooftop; Ross Mantle’s “Untitled (In the Wake),” a stunning highangle shot of a snow-covered neighborhood in evening, a single spot of streetlight at lower right. Christine Holtz and Lauren S. Zadikow tersely offer images of illegal trash dumping sites — many of them city parks. Two other favorites. One is a haunting image from Pete Marovich’s series “Searching for Dream Street,” documenting Aliquippa, that finds a man wrapped in a Steelers blanket walking up a misty residential street. The other is Stephen Speranza’s “Wilmerding Swing at the Wilmerding 125th anniversary fair” (2015/2017), in which a girl whirling past on a lit-up carnival ride gestures as if in ecstasy. Here’s to Silver Eye’s next 36 years. D R ISC OLL@ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

NEWS

MUSIC

There’s a trope that every musical ends in a wedding. Mamma Mia! promises the same, but instead of “Here Comes the Bride,” the audience is taken through the greatest hits of ABBA. The Broadway mega-smash starts with Sophie, who in Pittsburgh CLO’s new production is given the buoyancy and freshness of a Grecian breeze by Erika Henningsen. (Keep an eye on Henningsen; in October, she’ll originate the role of Cady Heron in the Broadway-bound Mean Girls the Musical.) Sophie is trying to reconnect with a father she never knew before her wedding. The only problem is that, after reading about her mother’s old flings in her diary, she realizes that there are three potential candidates. Benny Andersson and Björn Ulvaeus, original members of ABBA, provide music and lyrics that wash over the audience with nostalgia and cleverly push Catherine Johnson’s book forward. It’s nearly impossible to not tap your foot or sing a few verses out loud. But though the show is filled with vitality and romance, the ensemble does seem thrown off balance onstage. Barry Ivan, in the dual role of director and choreographer, would’ve benefitted from cutting down the onstage commotion. Actors pulled focus when doing remedial tasks like wiping down stone walls or tossing pool floaties. And this skilled ensemble could’ve handled more dexterous choreography to accompany their energized vocals. Still, the leads are steadfast in making the show a success. Sally Ann Triplett gives Donna, Sophie’s mother, an endearing laissez-faire attitude but tackles her vulnerability with greater commitment, like in “The Winner Takes It All.” At the root of Donna’s woes are the three potential fathers whose charm gives each the chance to win us over. Though more attention is given to Matt Bogart’s Sam, Rick Negron and Christian Whelan give Harry and Bill, respectively, plenty of heart. Mamma Mia’s music and wit carry the show through its plot troubles, which are all well-forgiven. It’s ABBA; what’s there to be that mad about? Despite a need for focus during company numbers, Lori Hammel’s breakthrough in “Take a Chance on Me” demonstrates that Pittsburgh CLO’s production is led by a stellar group of women — “Dancing Queens,” one might say.

What have you always wanted to know about Pittsburgh?

“WHY DOES PITTSBURGH HAVE AN H IN IT?” “IS A PARKING-SPOT CHAIR LEGALLY BINDING?” “WHAT IS SLIPPY?” Mike Wysocki has the answers. (well...sorta)

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MAMMA MIA! continues through Sun., Aug. 6. Pittsburgh CLO at the Benedum Center, 237 Seventh St., Downtown. $25.75-80.75. 412-281-3973 or www.pittsburghclo.org +

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“Dispersed (detail),”Heather Kanazawa

[ART REVIEW]

ACCESS MEMORY {BY LISSA BRENNAN} HEATHER KANAZAWA does not paint portraits, landscapes or still lifes, but memories. Her predominantly abstract works layer oil paint and wax, supplemented with bits of vintage fabric, in spindly, hazy compositions that spatter and wend across canvas: highlight reels of color and movement. Investigations of Life, the collection of recollections currently installed at BoxHeart Gallery, speciﬁcally documents travel remembrance, the sights and sounds and scents of time recently spent in Japan. The Pittsburgh-born, New York-based artist has placed particular emphasis on commemorating interactions with the natural world, suggesting tree branches, mountains, leaves and water; that world’s relationship with the man-made that surrounds and intersects with it; and how both the organic and the synthetic are perceived when ﬁltered through the practice of Zen. In a description of her work, Kanazawa says that she has total recall of her experiences. The memories she summons during the creative process, captured through rigorous attention that anticipates the need to someday reference them, are pitch-perfect and fully realized, free of blanks or blurs and solid as concrete. But what her work can evoke for the viewer is a different kind of memory translated to imagery — not the kind we can stand before and observe with clarity

and precision, but the kind that ﬂits elusively around the edges, seemingly solid when hovering in the periphery, ethereal and dissolving when we try to contain it head-on. We can sense and almost pinpoint something representational lying in wait within the gauze of the abstract. We can almost bring it into focus, but we just fall short.

INVESTIGATIONS OF LIFE continues through Aug. 11. BoxHeart Gallery, 4523 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. 412-687-8858 or www.boxheartgallery.com

What we can perceive in Kanazawa’s works, in this gathering of a dozen-and-ahalf pieces, is vibrant and exquisite. Form and hue join in motion steady as a wave or unpredictable as an avalanche, conjuring environments here vast and unstoppable, there minute and contained. Color mottles and blotches, reaches out gently like delicate tendrils or pushes forward in explosion. Every surface pulsates with life, overﬂowing with movement and booming with sound, no matter how we look at it, and we’ll be inspired to examine every inch as thoroughly as we can. While the details may confound and puzzle our eyes, it’s evident they’re crystalline in Kanazawa’s mind; that which remains tenuous makes what we regard electrifying, deepening something simply beautiful with the thrill of seeking what is hidden. I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

08.02/08.09.2017

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FOR THE WEEK OF

08.03-08.10.17 Full events listed online at www.pghcitypaper.com “What would happen,” playwright Anne Washburn once asked, “to a pop-culture narrative pushed past the fall of civilization?” Washburn’s answer was Mr. Burns, a post-electric play, a 2012 drama making its Pittsburgh debut Aug. 3-20 at 12 Peers Theater. The three-act play traces the trajectory of a classic episode of The Simpsons from the halting recollections of survivors of a collapsed electric grid to the basis for a live stage show that those survivors create seven years later, and finally to its incarnation as a muchtransformed stage musical 75 years later still.

It’s “an ode to the function of story and how that story’s function changes over time,” says 12 Peers artistic director Vince Ventura. He’s directing the troupe’s largest production yet, with cast of eight, choreographer and expansive (if appropriately cobbled-together) sets. The show has previously been produced in Washington, D.C., and New York. 12 Peers’ staging, in the University of Pittsburgh Studio Theatre, features local favorites Matt Henderson, Everett Lowe and Gayle Pazerski. While the show includes in-jokes for Simpsons buffs, you needn’t be a big fan of the long-running series to appreciate it — though it’s helpful, Ventura says, to have seen “Cape Feare,” the 1993 Simpsons episode in question. That the episode parodies Martin Scorsese’s 1991 remake of Cape Fear suggests the heavily meta nature of Mr. Burns. Just as Simpsons episodes make continual pop-culture references, so does Washburn’s play supplement its original music (by Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson composer Michael Friedman) with — in Act II — recreations of bygone TV commercials and loads of recent pop tracks, from Lady Gaga and Britney Spears to Kanye and Eminem. That’s just how Washburn’s post-apocalypse types choose to amuse, comfort and inspire themselves. As one character puts it, “We get Meaning for free, whether we like it or not. ... Meaningless entertainment, on the other hand, is actually really hard.” BY BILL O’DRISCOLL

Aug. 3-20. University of Pittsburgh Studio Theatre (Cathedral of Learning), 4200 Fifth Ave., Oakland. $20. 412-626-6784 or www.12peers.org

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{PHOTO COURTESY OF FULL CIRCLE FOUNDRY}

^ Fri., Aug. 4: Three Rivers Regatta

thursday 08.03 COMEDY Comedian Sarah Tiana comes to the Pittsburgh Improv for six shows starting tonight. Tiana has appeared on shows like Reno 911 and @midnight. Sex is frequently on her mind. For instance, she doesn’t understand why her friends with benefits thought she would do a “walk of shame.” “I can do the walk of shame if I leave the movie Real Steel with a smile on my face. … That’s shameful.” Matt Petras 8 p.m. Continues through Sun., Aug. 6. 166 E. Bridge St., The Waterfront, West Homestead. $20. 412-462-5233 or www.pittsburgh.improv.com

friday 08.04 OUTDOORS The Three Rivers Regatta returns to Point State Park for its 40th anniversary. Alongside the familiar powerboat races, jet-ski stunts and Anything That Floats Race is the Pittsburgh debut of the Red Bull Flugtag competition, in which participants launch homemade flying machines. Musical headliners include country artist Easton Corbin and Smash Mouth, a rock band whose lyrics everybody knows by heart. Admission to the three-day Regatta is free, including Sunday night’s

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fireworks. MP Noon-10 p.m. Also 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Sat., Aug. 5, and, 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Sun. Aug. 6. Downtown. Free. www.yougottaregatta.org

TALK This weekend, Confluence, an annual literary conference focused on horror, fantasy and science fiction, comes to the Sheraton Pittsburgh Airport Hotel. The bevy of visiting authors and other guests include guests of honor Sharon Lee and Steve Miller, a husband-and-wife duo who write science-fiction novels and short stories within a shared setting called the Liaden Universe. The featured musical guest is the Consortium of Genius, a geeky and comedic band whose songs have titles like “I Think Therefore I Rock.” MP 3-10 p.m. Also 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Sat., Aug. 5, and 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Sun., Aug. 6. 1160 Thorn Run Road, Moon Township. $22-55 (half-price for children). www.parsec-sff.org

ART “To have an idea of home, but not a sense of belonging” “is how photographer Kenneth Neely describes life for low^ Thu., Aug. 3: Sarah Tiana

PROUDLY TATTOOING PITTSBURGH SINCE 1994! August 6th: h

“Pups on the Patio” 5-7pm with tastings from Arsenal Cider House

August 17th:

Bike night with free music from Three Sides

tattoo & piercing studio

^ Fri., Aug. 4: Pittsburgh Underground Film Festival

August 25th:

Hungarian Night with free music from George Batyi with Gyspy String Band.. Featuring traditional bacon Band roast, and entree features.

Open Daily, 1pm-8pm walk-ins welcome, appointments recommended!

income Pittsburghers. Neely has been documenting black Pittsburgh since 2003; Welcome to Pittsburgh, an exhibition of his work at BOOM Concepts, is sure to be a highlight of this month’s Unblurred gallery crawl. All along Penn Avenue, more than a dozen venues will showcase visual art and more. Also check out Past Present Future, Silver Eye Center’s debut show of photography at its new space, and Summer Camp, a multimedia installation on the titular theme by Dakarai Akil, Harriet Smith and Anna Azzizy, at the Irma Freeman Center. Bill O’Driscoll Unblurred: 6-10 p.m. 4100-5400 Penn Ave., Bloomfield/Friendship/Garfield. Free. www.pennavenue.org

(412) 683-4320

224 East 8th Ave., Homestead

5240 Butler St.

Pgh, PA • 15201 inkadinkadoo.net

DOROTHY-6-BLAST-FURNACE-CAFE.COM Wed,Thurs,and Sun 4-10 Fri,Sat 4-11*Bar open later

SCREEN It’s the first night of the first-ever Pittsburgh Underground Film Festival, the Reel Q Film Festival’s three-day showcase for filmmakers with multicultural and multi-gender identities, including free lectures and workshops, at the Melwood Screening Room. The opening-night feature is Ovarian Psycos, a documentary about a crew of bike-riding feminist Latina activists in Los Angeles. (Cast members will attend.) Saturday highlights include Only in Pittsburgh, a showcase of shorts by local artists; an archival screening by Harrison Apple, of the Pittsburgh Queer History Project; and The Revival: Women and the Word, a doc about an internationally touring group of musicians and poets who are queer women of color. PUFF wraps Sunday {ART BY KENNETH NEELY} with Joy!, a documentary about San ^ Fri., Aug. 4: Welcome to Pittsburgh Francisco’s famed Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. BO Ovarian Psychos: 7 p.m. Fest continues through Sun., Aug. 6. 477 Melwood Ave., Oakland. All shows $10. www.reelq.org/puff

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The first hit is free. Actually, so are all the others.

STAGE Shakespeare’s timeless works have been endlessly adapted and borrowed from. This weekend, Urban Impacts Shakes stages its rendition of Macbeth at The New Hazlett Theater. The cast consists entirely of young people, some as young as 12. Founded in 2010 by Eric Anderson, Urban Impacts Shakes has tackled seven other Shakespeare plays over the years. Macbeth gets two full weekends of performances, starting tonight. MP 8 p.m. Continues through Aug. 13. 6 Allegheny Square East, North Side. $8-12. 412-320-4610 or www.newhazletttheater.org CONTINUES ON PG. 32

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EVERYONE IS A CRITIC

{ART BY JOAN IVERSEN GOSWELL}

^ Fri., Aug. 4: AUGUST

EVENT:

Alumni Theater Company’s Avenue Q at the New Hazlett Theater, North Side

MAGIC David London, who visited back in January with his philosophical magic show Cerebral Sorcery, returns with Magic Outside the Box. The nationally touring, critically acclaimed Baltimore-based surrealist magician’s 90-minute show combines illusions, storytelling, comedy and puppetry. The first of three performances at Downtown’s Pittsburgh Playwrights Theater is tonight. When ordering tickets, note the promo code HALFOFF. BO 8 p.m. Also 5 and 8 p.m. Sat., Aug. 5. 937 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $20-40 (VIP: $60-80). www.davidlondonmagtic.com

CRITIC:

Jim Smith, 50, a software developer from Shadyside

WHEN:

Fri., July 28

I thought it was really good. I didn’t really know what to expect, I didn’t even know what the story was about. It was much better than I expected it to be. I liked a lot of the singing. Everyone was very good. I was reading the program here, and the ages of some of the people in this show are very impressive. I was gonna say [I’d recommend this to] all ages, but [instead I’ll say] teen and over. Everyone teen and older. I think the story portrays pretty much everybody, all sorts of lives, no matter where you’re from. Everyone will relate to the story; I know I related to the story right off the bat. Because it was right after college, you don’t know what you’re going to do, you think you’re ready for the world and things come at you and change everything that you’re gonna do, dreams that you thought you had, you kinda forget about. B Y M ATT P E TRAS

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ART Last week, Gallerie Chiz founder Ellen Chisdes Neuberg announced that she’s winding down operations at her venerable Ellsworth Avenue fixture. But Chiz still has a couple of formal exhibitions to go — including, fittingly, AUGUST, celebrating the talents of artists over age 70. Tonight’s opening reception spotlights work by 24 artists, including Robert Bowden, Peter Calaboyias, Rae Gold and Joan Goswell. Pianist Lee Alverson provides tunes. BO 5:30-8:30 p.m. (free). 5831 Ellsworth Ave., Shadyside. 412-441-6005 or www.galleriechiz@gmail.com

device at the museum. BO 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Exhibit continues through Jan. 28. 4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $11.95-19.95 (free for children under 2). 412-622-3131 or www.cmoa.org

thursday 08.10 SCREEN In 1959, American filmmaker Lionel Rogosin released Come Back, Africa, a partly scripted film about life for blacks under South African apartheid; the film, about a black man forced to work in the gold mines, starred nonprofessional actors improvising their dialogue. Hailed as an indictment of apartheid and for its cinematic power, Come Back, Africa was both widely censored and widely seen (and helped launch the career of singer Miriam Makeba). See it tonight in a special screening at City of Asylum’s Alphabet City, courtesy of Sembène — The Film & Art Festival. A discussion led by Sembène’s Sabira Bushra follows. BO 7 p.m. 40 W. North Ave., North Side. Free. www.alphabetcity.org

WORDS

Matthew Rohrer is coming to White Whale Bookstore to read from his format-bending new book The Others. It’s a novel, written entirely in verse, about a single day {PHOTO COURTESY OF CHRISTOPHER MEYERS} in the life of a mid-level publishing ^ Fri., Aug. 4: Magic Outside the Box assistant. In an interview with the ART Poetry Society of America, Rohrer Teenie Harris photographs are full said, “One reason, and maybe the best reason, for ‘why of local history; if only these images could talk, you a novel in verse’ is why not, right?” The Brooklyn-based might have thought. Teenie Harris Photographs: In Their Rohrer, best known as a poet, also wrote collections Own Voice, a new exhibit at the Carnegie Museum of Art, including Surrounded by Friends and Destroyer and pairs 25 of Harris’ photos of 20th-century African-American Preserver. Also reading tonight are locally based writers life in Pittsburgh with oral histories recorded by historian Ben Sherrie Flick, Scott Silsbe and Beth Kracklauer. MP 7 p.m. Houston, of England’s Newcastle University, with notable local 4754 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. Free. 412-224-2847 or voices like Sala Udin and Alma Speed-Fox. Listen while you whitewhalebookstore.com look via a free Carnegie app, or borrow a free, pre-loaded

sunday 08.06

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the

THE “DIRTY” SAUCE WAS PLEASANTLY SPICY AND SMOKY

TRAIL CUISINE

A Jen Brown trail meal: Whole-wheat tortilla with walnuts, apricots and peanut butter

Pre-packaged freeze-dried meals, from beef stew to pad thai, are popular with backpackers. But they’re heavily processed, often super salty, and come in high-tech, cook-in plastic pouches that are not easily recyclable. The repetitive prep (just add boiling water!) can grow tedious. But what besides old-school trail-food options — jerky, trail mix, oatmeal, etc. — meets requirements for taste, nutrition, carrying weight and non-spoilage? I asked some local experts. Jen Brown, who’s backpacked in Olympic National Park and Banff National Park, and along the Appalachian Trail, claims culinary feats including baking a cake on trail. But, she says, “My absolute go-to is a couscous.” The crushed-pasta dish is light, travels well, and takes all flavors including Brown’s favorite make-on-trail sauce, a blend of peanut butter, soy sauce, vinegar and sugar. Brown also likes hard cheeses, which can go days without refrigeration. Mike Schiller has climbed Death Valley’s Telescope Peak, and Alaska’s Denali; less concerned about the weight he’s carrying than the day’s-end reward of a good meal, he’s been known to pack a 12-inch cast-iron skillet to fry pierogies on-trail in mid-winter. His blackened Spamfish over polenta is cayenne-dusted Spam slices, cut into fish shapes, fried in a skillet and served with polenta and tomato sauce. Schiller’s Thanksgiving dinner in pot combines instant stuffing and canned turkey with craisins and canned corn; he even makes a skillet lasagna, with bow-tie pasta or macaronis layered with tomato sauce, shredded cheese, and bulghur instead of meat. Shin Ramyun spicy instant noodles are a fave of Sean Brady, especially with add-ins like dried mushrooms and canned (or pouched) chicken or tuna. He also likes packing fresh meat, fruit and vegetables for at least the first night’s camp-out. Brady has backpacked from Southwestern Pennsylvania’s Quebec Run Wild Area to (on his honeymoon) Wyoming’s Wind River Range. But lately, he notes, he’s gotten into canoe camping, especially on the upper Allegheny River, where coolers solve the what-to-eat problem. “There is no freeze-dry. You bring everything,” he says. “We actually eat pretty gourmet canoe-camping.”

{PHOTO COURTESY OF JEN BROWN}

{BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

{CP PHOTO BY VANESSA SONG}

A selection of tacos from Condado

TACOS GALORE {BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

OR THE SECOND time in just over

a year, we have dined at an Ohiooriginating Mexican restaurant in the Cultural District. The first was Bakersfield; the second is Condado, which focuses on tacos, chips and dips, although “focus,” as we shall see, is not a word which does justice to the almost overwhelming variety on offer. Condado’s Pittsburgh location at the corner of 10th and Liberty, which Tonic held down for more than a decade, is its first outside of Columbus. Happily, one of the great pleasures of dining at Tonic — the ground-floor bar and dining room lined with big windows for peoplewatching — survived the transformation. (For people-watching at even closer range, try to snag one of the outdoor tables on the sidewalk.) Interior changes

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were largely cosmetic and consisted of an odd mishmash of Instagram-friendly murals: graphic, black-and white geometric stencils; big, grafﬁti-style skeletons vaguely reminiscent of Day of the Dead imagery; and cartoonish scenes of the surreal. It all communicates “fun place for tacos and margaritas,” and we were down with that.

CONDADO 971 Liberty Ave., Downtown 412-281-9111 HOURS: Daily 11 a.m.-2 a.m. PRICES: $1.50-8 LIQUOR: Full bar

The tacos were even more bewildering in their variety than the wall decor. There was a set menu of 10 pre-designed

options, but the real fun was in creating your own personal taco from the checklists of tortillas, fillings, toppings, cheeses, salsas, sauces and sides. Even loaded, Condado’s tacos were competitively priced. The flip side of the build-yourown concept is that, while no chef would put an item on a menu without tasting it first, here you’re encouraged to be your own chef and hope your mix-and-match creation comes out to your liking, despite not knowing in advance how each ingredient will taste. Will the roasted chicken have any real flavor of its own? How spicy is the chorizo — would it be better paired with cooling lime-cilantro aioli, or with “mucho caliente!” house secret sauce? While we pondered all this, we started with tortilla chips, traditional guacamole

and “dirty” queso. Traditional was one of three guac options — the others (Tuscan and pineapple) were off-putting (to us) — while hot queso dip came plain; spicy; with corn, chorizo or black beans; and “dirty,” i.e. loaded with chicken, black beans, onions and hot (“dirty”) sauce. All these extras were placed in the center of the cheese bowl, so that dippers could scoop up as much or as little as we liked on one of the superb, hearty, housemade chips. The dirty sauce was pleasantly spicy and smoky, bringing plenty of flavor to the finely shredded chicken and mild, creamy queso. We were so glad we’d ordered this. The guac was less of a stand-out. The avocado was smooth, borderline puréed, and without much indication of chili. However, there were pickled red onions on top and welcome acidic notes within, whether from the pickling liquid or a squeeze of lime, rounding out the flavor. Condado offers hard corn and soft flour tortillas, plus four custom variations: the Goody-goody (soft flour with guac, sour cream and crumbled chips); the Ju-ju (soft flour, hard corn, queso and chorizo); the Sweet Lucy (soft flour, hard corn, queso and guac;) and the Peezler (soft flour, hard corn, bacon refried beans, guac and sour cream). We tried the Goody-goody with chorizo, chipotle crema, shredded smoked cheddar and salsa verde. On the traditional taco spectrum, this was excellent, full of piquant flavors and their cool, creamy counterpoints. And the answer to the how-spicy-is-the-chorizo question: quite, and delicious. Unfortunately, few of the other proteins measured up. Ceviche shrimp, plump and tasty, was an exception. But braised beef brisket was lackluster, while pulled pork was soft and too sweet for our liking. Also sweet were Thai chili tofu, pickled onions and the supposedly spicy jicama-cabbage slaw. Sweetness has a place in tacos, but it needs to be balanced, and, without knowing flavor profiles in advance, it was hard to create that balance. Still, we tend to grade build-yourown places on a curve. After all, it’s not their fault if we picked chimichurri when the salsa verde would have been better. But the disappointing meats can’t really be excused, and the over-sweetness was off-putting, especially on a menu full of inherently sweet options like pineapple salsa and chipotle-honey sauce. Condado is cheap, fast and fun, with a great tequila selection, but it falls behind the pack as a source of pure taco enjoyment. INFO@ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

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A PERFECT FOOD

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OAXACAN CUISINE

{BY CELINE ROBERTS} There are very few perfect foods in the world. I define a perfect food as a dish with minimal ingredients or one ingredient (for example, peaches), that requires little preparation to achieve maximum effect. Caprese is most certainly one of them. Because of our growing season, excellent caprese in Pennsylvania is a summertime-only dish. It also requires using excellent ingredients. Treat yourself to some nice cold-pressed, extra-virgin olive oil from a place where you can sample before you buy. Take in the smells and jewel tones of heirloom tomatoes at a local farmers’ market, before burying your face in a bunch of basil you just bought. Beyond a little slicing, there isn’t much else a cook can do to improve upon what they are already holding in their hands. My only words of warning are: Please, please, PLEASE do not use balsamic vinegar.

Authentic traditional handcrafted Hungarian cuisine

MEXICAN RESTAURANT & BAR

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WE CATER! INGREDIENTS • 2 or 3 heirloom tomatoes (I like Cherokee Purples and Brandywines), cut into ¼-inch slices • 8 oz. good-quality, fresh mozzarella, cut into ¼-inch-thick slices • 1 bunch sweet Italian basil, leaves picked off the stem • Good quality olive oil (head to the Strip, so many options!) • Sea salt, to taste • Freshly cracked black pepper, to taste

Destination

INSTRUCTIONS Go to your local farmers’ market. There’s one every day, somewhere in the city. Select your tomatoes from one of the vendors. If you don’t know much about tomatoes, most farmers are more than happy to tell you about the different varieties and make suggestions. This dish can be a fun way to try new tomatoes. Basil, and hopefully mozzarella, should also be available at the market, the fresher the better. At home, rinse the produce and select a large plate or platter. Slice the tomatoes into slices and lay on the plate. Slice the mozzarella. Pluck basil leaves from the stem. On top of each tomato slice, layer basil and then mozzarella. Top with a drizzle of olive olive, plus a pinch of salt and cracked pepper. Serves 4 to 6 people.

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412-252-2877

Check us out @ frontporchgrille.com

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WE WANT YOUR PERSONAL RECIPES AND THE STORIES BEHIND THEM. EMAIL THEM TO CELINE@PGHCITYPAPER.COM.

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{CP PHOTO BY KRISTA JOHNSON}

Blend Bar bartender and cigar enthusiast Rocky Croyle

[ON THE ROCKS]

CIGAR BAR {BY CELINE ROBERTS} WITH THE OPENING of a few new cigar bars around town supplementing Leaf & Bean’s steady presence in the Strip District, cigars are making a comeback. Culturally, cigars have a lot of context, but to the layperson, smoking them can seem like ritualized mystery. “In Pittsburgh, we get a lot of customers who have never had a cigar before. They are some of my favorite people to talk to. They have so many questions and it’s fun for me,” says Rocky Croyle, bartender and cigar enthusiast at Blend Bar with Davidoff Cigars, in Downtown’s Koppers Building. Cigars saw their last renaissance in the mid-’90s. “One thing that really helped cigar culture was a photo, I think it was on Time magazine [it was a June 1992 issue of Sports Illustrated] of Michael Jordan smoking a cigar and that brought back this idea that cigars were like a reward for yourself,” says Croyle. “The luxurious thing about the cigar is the time it takes to smoke it. You’re basically saying, ‘I’m not going to do anything for 35 minutes to an hour-and-a-half, except sit here and enjoy this cigar.’” Before you sit down for an hour with a cigar, there’s a few things you should know that affect the smoking experience. Firstly, there are about 60 different shapes of cigar, but they can be divided into two categories: parejos, which are straight-

sided cigars, and figurados, which have irregular shapes. The shape of the cigar, along with its diameter or “ring gauge,” and length, affect the way a cigar burns. Different heat distributions determine how the essential oils from the tobacco are released and contribute to the intensity of the flavor. A classic parejo, which is uniformly rounded, is typically between 5 and 7 inches long. Parejos are relatively easy to roll and smoke consistently. Irregular shapes can offer you different smoking experiences all in one smoke by varying their ring gauges. Figurados are also more difficult to roll and tend to be made by a master cigar-roller, or torcedor. Most companies have several brand tiers. There are premiums, a mid-level brand, and what industry folk call “golfcourse cigars.” Cigar-rollers move up the ranks as their skills progress toward the status of master roller. The cigars have price tags that are dictated, in part, by the roller’s experience and expertise. Prices of cigars vary widely, with some as inexpensive as $5. The world’s most expensive cigar (gold-leaf-wrapped and diamondencrusted) rings in at $1 million. And, the cultural image that comes with cigars often involves scotch. There are no hard and fast rules for pairing the two, says Croyle, as long there is balanced flavor and intensity. “Everyone’s palate is different. Find out what they like to eat. What aspects of the cigar or scotch are you trying to showcase?” he says.

“THE LUXURIOUS THING ABOUT THE CIGAR IS THE TIME IT TAKES TO SMOKE IT.”

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BOOZE BATTLES {BY CELINE ROBERTS}

Each week, we order the same cocktail at two different bars for a friendly head-to-head battle. Go to the bars, taste both drinks and tell us what you like about each by tagging @pghcitypaper on Twitter or Instagram and use #CPBoozeBattles. If you want to be a part of Booze Battles, send an email to food-and-beverage writer Celine Roberts, at celine@pghcitypaper.com.

THE DRINK: GIN AND SHERRY

VS.

Allegheny Wine Mixer Alleghen Mi er

The Livermore

5326 Butler St., Lawrenceville

124 S. Highland Ave., East Liberty

DRINK: Jabberwock INGREDIENTS: Gin, sherry, Caperitif, orange bitters OUR TAKE: Caperitif is a white-wine-based aperitif from South Africa that lends medicinal notes to this easy sipper. Hints of citrus mingle with the botanicals of the gin, while the sherry softens the overall profile of this cocktail.

DRINK: Maó-mahón Smuggler INGREDIENTS: Xoriguer gin, oloroso sherry, bitter orange, mint, lime OUR TAKE: The nose is dominated by florals and clean celery aromas. Berry and hibiscus flavors add complexity, and are balanced by the accented juniper of the gin and bright acid of the lime juice.

Learn more about Pittsburgh’s food scene on our podcasts Sound Bite and Five Minutes in Food History online at www.pghcitypaper.com.

One Bordeaux, One Scotch, One Beer Stillwater Cellar Door American Farmhouse Ale $12/12-oz. can While a dollar an ounce might seem pricey, this wheat ale brewed with white sage is worth it. This delicate hazy beer is complex and crisp. The sage is herbal, but doesn’t overwhelm the citrus notes with its perfume. Plus I’m a sucker for marketing, and the packaging is eye-catching and fun. RECOMMENDED BY CELINE ROBERTS

Stillwater Cellar Door is available at Biergarten, at the Hotel Monaco, Downtown.

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“I’M GOING TO JUST ASSUME YOU’RE ALL CRIMINALS.”

LADY IN WAITING {BY AL HOFF} I have respect for stealth movies. Those are the ones that appear to be easygoing genre fare, but turn out to be something else entirely. That’s the case with William Oldroyd’s debut film, Lady Macbeth, which has nothing to do with Shakespeare, other than an allusion to women acting badly. The film is adapted from a 19thcentury Russian novel, Lady Macbeth of the Mtsensk.

HISTORY LESSONS

At home: Katherine (Florence Pugh)

CP APPROVED

It appears to be a classic gothic romance, unfolding in an austere manor in the north of England in the 19th century. Young Katherine (Florence Pugh) has just married. “Stay inside,” her cold, much-older new husband tells her. But dressing up and sitting alone on a divan is so boring she actually falls asleep. When her husband leaves for an extended business trip, she lets down her hair and takes to the moors for long walks. But nature isn’t the only thing to catch her eye: She begins a torrid romance with handsome stablehand Sebastian (Cosmo Jarvis). And she, let’s say, starts to take a more active role in managing the household. (Better, dear viewer, to see for yourself.) The film begins as a domestic melodrama — the pretty bird trapped in a dark cage — and transforms into an icecold femme fatale noir (more than once did I recall the Barbara Stanwyck classic Double Indemnity). Katherine moves from a position of powerlessness, beginning with her arranged marriage, to controlling all the pieces on the board. Lady Macbeth can also be read as a righteous feminist work, despite Katherine’s transgressions. It’s not as if the men here are great paragons of morality; they are variously cruel, weak or both. It’s just that the system grants them the privilege of their misdeeds. It’s a system that lady of the manor Katherine exploits herself in her unequal relationships with Sebastian and her maid, Anna, both people of color. Some of what occurs is alarming, but given where she started — bartered in marriage for pasture land — we’re almost sympathetic. Bad behavior is still a form of agency. How ultimately successful Katherine’s machinations are is up for debate, depending what aspects of her pursuit strike one as most valuable. Starts Fri., Aug. 4

{BY AL HOFF}

ATHRYN BIGELOW’S docudrama Detroit depicts events that happened 50 years ago during the city’s infamous riots, but today’s viewers will surely process this film through the lens of current events. It’s white cops abusing black citizens, and it’s disheartening that five decades later, a teenager can easily relate without any foreknowledge of the specific historical events. Detroit does begin with a mini history — depicted in animated oil paintings — which sets the racial, social and economic conditions that helped spark riots in several cities in 1967, including Detroit. The first third plays out in a wide documentary style, often incorporating archival footage and audio. It begins with a police raid on an after-hours club on July 23 that sparked several days of unrest, including looting, arson and arrests, as the army and National Guard joined city and state police on the streets. The primary character here is simply the city itself, be it frightened citizens, burning buildings or

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The Motor City is burning: John Boyega

grim-faced cops. Slowly, the ﬁlm focuses in on a few people, and the event that will bring them all together. Two are members of the nascent R&B group The Dramatics, Freddy (Jacob Latimore) and Larry (Algee Smith). They wind up at the Algiers Motel, where they meet two young white women and some of

DETROIT DIRECTED BY: Kathryn Bigelow STARRING: Algee Smith, William Poulter, John Boyega STARTS: Fri., Aug. 4

CP APPROVED their friends, including a Vietnam vet (Anthony Mackie). A block away, a black security guard named Melvin (John Boyega) watches over a store. When it seems like sniper ﬁre is coming from the motel, Melvin and a trio of Detroit police, dominated by the hot-headed Krauss (William Poulter), respond. The cops round up everybody in the lobby — “I’m going to just assume

you’re all criminals” — and a night of horrific actions and consequences unfolds. The next hour of film is harrowing: It depicts in close quarters, and vivid close-up, sustained violence, racial animus and psychological abuse. (It is also a presentation of abuse enacted on African Americans depicted by a white filmmaker for entertainment, and criticisms of this are likely to join the wider cultural discussion.) The final third of the film covers the follow-up investigation and court case. But the chances of institutional fair play for the victims seem as elusive as the presumption of innocence denied them back at the motel. Viewers will note with some irony that one of the criminally charged cops complains that “something that took one minute shouldn’t define your entire life.” At the end of Detroit, it’s clear that that night at the Algiers changed a lot of lives — and ended some others. Left unsaid but still explicit is how much larger change is left to happen. A HOF F @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

Raise your hand, if you’ve lived it. Aug. 4-10. Row House Cinema

FILM CAPSULES CP

= CITY PAPER APPROVED

THE HUDSCUKER PROXY. Tim Robbins, Paul Newman and Jennifer Jason Leigh star in the Coen brothers 1994 comedy about a corporate scheme to purposefully install an idiot to run the company. Aug. 4-10. Row House Cinema

NEW ATOMIC BLONDE. It’s November 1989 and in the divided city of Berlin, the wall is about to fall. But first, there’s some lastminute East vs. West spy business to take care of. Lorraine (Charlize Theron) is an undercover MI6 agent sent to the German city to meet up with another British spy (James McAvoy). They, like their East German and Soviet counterparts, are after a list of spies, which includes the identity of a double agent. In David Leitch’s comic actioner, there is plenty of old-fashioned ultra-violence (mostly being hit in the face and kicked in the balls), neon-lit rooms, colorful characters with dodgy motivations and a mix-tape’s worth of your favorite early-1980s synth-pop songs like “Blue Monday,” “99 Luftballoons” and “Voices Carry.” (Theron also rocks smokey eyes and a number of stylish coats and mini-dresses.) The film is a fun-enough summer diversion, but it’s not nearly as clever or stylish as it thinks it is. (Al Hoff) THE DARK TOWER. Nikolaj Arcel directs this drama, adapted from the Stephen King novels, in which two men — the Gunslinger (Idris Elba) and the Man in Black (Matthew McConaughey) — are locked in an eternal good vs. evil struggle. Starts Fri., Aug. 4 AN INCONVENIENT SEQUEL: TRUTH TO POWER. So what’s changed in the 11 years since Al Gore’s climate-change documentary, An Inconvenient Truth? Here’s your catch-up on how the planet is doing, and how humans are helping and hurting things. Bonni Cohen and Jon Shenk direct. Starts Fri., Aug. 4 KIDNAP. A mother (Halle Berry) takes action to rescue her kidnapped son. Luis Prieto directs. Starts Fri., Aug. 4 THE LITTLE HOURS. The hazy lazy days of late summer are perfect for a naughtynun comedy! Jeff Baena’s film is adapted from parts of the 14th-century work The Decameron. But fear not: It stars a virtual convent of your favorite comic actors (Alison Brie, Aubrey Plaza, Kate Micucci, Molly Shannon, John C. Reilly, Dave Franco, Fred Armisen, Nick Offerman and more), and is an amusing piffle of a comedy of (sex) manners. The plot is as old as time – or at least as the 1300s — when life in a cloistered convent is disrupted after a hot young man seeks refuge there. (He’s on the run from the crime of being a sexy beast.) The young nuns compete to … um … counsel him, and profane screaming matches, a boozy late-night bitch fest, and a black-magic ritual ensue. The fun is in watching these actors — dressed up in an assortment of drab robes — play this silly farce with straight faces. Starts Fri., Aug. 4. Hollywood (AH)

NEWS

THE DAY THE SUN FELL. The grandfather of filmmaker Aya Domenig worked for the Red Cross after the Hiroshima bombings. The more recent events at the Fukushima nuclear-power plant prompted her to explore her the work of late grandfather and other medical professionals who cared for people after the bomb fell. The recent documentary screens to mark the 72nd anniversary of the atomic bombs dropped on Japan. To be followed by a discussion. In German and Japanese, with subtitles. 6 p.m. Sat., Aug. 5. Harris Atomic Blonde

THE LURE. In Agnieszka Smoczynska’s new musical dramedy with a touch of horror, two mermaids wind up performing at a familyrun seedy nightclub. In Polish, with subtitles. Aug. 6-9. Harris

Aug. 6 (Schenley Plaza); Tue., Aug. 8 (West End/ Elliott Overlook); and Thu., Aug. 10 (Brookline). Almost Christmas, Wed., Aug. 9 (Schenley Park: Flagstaff Hill). Films begin at dusk. Free. 412-2552493 or www.citiparks.net

PITTSBURGH UNDERGROUND FILM FESTIVAL (PUFF). This new mini-film festival, presented by Reel Q Film Festival, offers four feature-length films and two programs of shorts celebrating the creative non-conformity of the LGBTQ community. There are also workshops, lectures, panels and a program offering archival video from the ongoing Pittsburgh Queer History Project. Films include: the opening-night feature Ovarian Psycos (see review, below); an Only in Pittsburgh! showcase of local short films; The Death & Life of Marsha P. Johnson, a doc about the trailblazing transgender icon; The Revival: Women and the Word, a doc about an arts-and-poetry group for queer women of color; and Joy!, a documentary recounting the creation and dissemination of San Francisco’s Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. A complete schedule is at www.reelq.org/puff. Aug. 4-6. Melwood. $10 per screening.

KID FLIX FROM NYICFF (PROGRAM 2). A program of short films from the 2017 New York International Children’s Film Festival “Best of the Fest” aimed at older kids, who can appreciate more layered stories and characters. Best for ages 8 and older. 5:15 p.m. Wed., Aug. 2, and 1:30 pm. Thu., Aug. 3. Row House Cinema

OVARIAN PSYCOS. Filmmakers Joanna Sokolowski and Kate Trumbull-LaValle share the story of the women behind the Ovarian Psycos Bicycle Brigade, a collective of women of color from Eastside Los Angeles. They use nighttime bicycle rides to give women and gender-nonconforming folks a place to reclaim the streets and support each other amid the violence and turmoil in their individual lives. The documentary beautifully captures the Mexican and Native traditions on display; the solidarity of the bike rides is impressive, and the historical contextualizing was well done. The interviews are intimate, and while the Ovas’ work is empowering, there are moments of sadness that remind us why the bicycle brigade’s work matters. 7 p.m. Fri., Aug. 4. Melwood. $10 (Meg Fair)

ROCKY. The endless sequels have made Sylvester Stallone’s Philadelphia-based pugilist something of a joke. But the 1976 film, directed by John Avildsen, was a small-scale, bittersweet drama that was nominated for 10 Academy Awards, and won three, including Best Picture. Stallone, Talia Shire, Burgess Meredith and Burt Young star. 7:30 p.m. Wed., Aug. 2. AMC Loews Waterfront. $5 KID FLIX FROM NYICFF (PROGRAM 1). A program of short films from the 2017 New York International Children’s Film Festival “Best of the Fest” aimed at very young children. The films rely on color, music and clear narration to tell a story. Best for ages 3-7. 9:30 a.m. Thu., Aug. 3. Row House Cinema FIGHT CLUB. David Fincher’s darkly comic 1999 mindbender follows a depressed young man (Edward Norton) as he finds a savior in a new buddy, Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt), and a new hobby in the secretive underground world of bare-knuckles fighting. (Remember, if anybody asks — there is no Fight Club screening.) Aug. 4-10. Row House Cinema

REPERTORY

9 TO 5. It’s no way to make a living. Lily Tomlin, Dolly Parton and Jane Fonda star in Colin Higgins’ 1980 company about some fed-up office workers who stick it to the man (Dabney Coleman). Aug. 4-10. Row House Cinema

DOLLAR BANK CINEMA IN THE PARK. Arrival, Wed., Aug. 2 (Schenley Park: Flagstaff Hill), and Sat., Aug. 5 (Riverview). A Dog’s Purpose, Thu., Aug. 3 (Brookline); Fri., Aug. 4 (Arsenal); and Sat., Aug. 5 (Grandview). Queen of Katwe, Sun.,

OFFICE SPACE. Mike Judge’s 1999 comedy spotlights three software engineers (Ron Livingston, Ajay Naidu and David Herman) whose lives and joy are worn away by their tedious cubicle jobs.

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THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE. Some unfortunate people are literally joined together in a horrific medial experiment in this low-budget 2009 horror film from Tom Six. Midnight, Sat., Aug. 5. Row House Cinema THE FRIENDS OF EDDIE COYLE. Peter Yates directed this 1973 drama about a low-level Boston gangster, facing serious jail time, who considers snitching on his friends. Robert Mitchum and Peter Boyle star. 7 p.m. Sun., Aug. 6. Hollywood JAWS. Steven Spielberg’s aqua-thriller that terrified beach-goers in the summer of 1975, when it unspooled the tale of a great white shark eating swimmers along the Atlantic seaboard. Richard Dreyfus, Robert Shaw and Roy Schneider hit the waves to capture the man-eater: They’re gonna need a bigger boat, and you should see this on a bigger screen. It’s still lots of scary fun. 7:30 p.m. Tue., Aug. 8. Tull Family Theater, Sewickley. (AH)

BACK TO THE FUTURE. Through the use of a kicky time machine, young ’80s dude Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) finds himself back in the 1950s, where he’s tasked with getting his parents to hook up, lest he never be born. Christopher Lloyd, Crispin Glover and Lea Thompson also star in Robert Zemeckis’ 1985 comedy. 7:30 p.m. Wed., Aug. 9. AMC Loews Waterfront. $5 THE VALLEY OF DECISION. Tay Garnett’s 1945 adaptation certainly takes some liberties with Marcia Davenport’s sprawling, sudsy novel of Pittsburgh steel magnates and the working classes who line their coffers. But who can resist the against-all-odds love story: Can an Irish maid from a union family find happiness with her employer, a scion of North Side steel? Greer Garson, Gregory Peck and the full trappings of mid-century Hollywood melodrama say yes. Presented by the Battle of Homestead Foundation, and to be followed by a discussion. 7 p.m. Thu., Aug. 10. Pump House, 880 E. Waterfront Drive, Munhall. Free. www.battleofhomestead.org (AH) THE HOUSE ON COCO ROAD. Damani Baker’s new documentary profiles one family’s journey, from racial troubles in 1980s Oakland, Calif., to the Caribbean island of Grenada, where they wind up in the path of a U.S. military invasion. Aug. 10-16. Harris

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PEOPLE OF ALL DIFFERENT SHAPES AND SIZES COME TOGETHER TO HAVE A GREAT TIME

This week in Pittsburgh Sports History {BY CHARLIE DEITCH} AUG. 3, 1937 Boxer Johnny Page dies after taking an in-ring beating the night before at the hands of Pittsburgh lightweight Eddie Zivic at Millvale’s Hickey Park. According to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette at the time, Page — who was living in Lawrenceville but originally from Chicago — was a last-minute substitute opponent for Zivic. The paper reported: “Eddie put over a crashing right to the jaw as Page was hung on the ropes like a wet wash.”

AUG. 3, 2002 Steelers wide receiver John Stallworth and Buffalo Bills Quarterback Jim Kelly, a Western Pa. native, are inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. A year earlier, Steelers receiver Lynn Swann was inducted.

AUG. 4, 1901 During pre-game warmups, the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Cincinnati Reds have a contest to see which players could run from home to first base the fastest. According to The Deacon and the Schoolmaster, a book by Robert Peyton Wiggins, the Pirates’ leadoff hitter made the run in three seconds. Some sources claimed the run may have been closer to four seconds. For historical perspective, current Cincinnati speedster (and maybe the fastest person to ever play pro baseball) Billy Hamilton has been clocked at 3.3 seconds.

AUG. 5, 1921 For the first time ever, a sporting event is broadcast live on the radio. The Pirates beat Philadelphia, 8-5 at Forbes Field, while KDKA Radio beamed the game to the masses.

AUG. 6, 2001 Pirates legend Bill Mazeroski is inducted into the Hall of Fame.

AUG. 6, 1984 Pitt hurdler Roger Kingdom captures the first of his two Olympic gold medals by beating fellow American Greg Foster in the 110-meter hurdles in Los Angeles.

AUG. 9, 1976 Pitcher John Candelaria becomes the fifth Pirate in history to throw a no-hitter.

AUG. 12, 1977 Pirates catcher Ed Ott slides hard into New York Mets second baseman Felix Milan. Milan tries to punch Ott, who picks up Milan and slams him to the ground, breaking Milan’s collarbone and ending his MLB career. CDEITCH@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

{CP PHOTOS BY JORDAN MILLER}

SHORTS RIDE {BY THRIA DEVLIN}

S A NEWBIE to the Pittsburgh Underwear Ride, it can be super intimidating to roll up to a crowd of 200 half-naked people. But since body positivity and safe cycling are the takeaway from such an event, the nerves disappear the moment you merge with the crowd. Riders are supportive, encouraging and work together to make sure all participants feel that they can not only safely bike the route, but do so comfortably with no clothes on. The July ride was my second time participating. I felt so welcome as women asked to take pictures with me in my lingerie and we exchanged words of encouragement. The whole vibe is unbelievably positive, with people of all different shapes and sizes coming together to have a great time (people blow bubbles, wear neon lights, and wave and chant to the people ﬁlming on the sidewalks — it’s just too damn cool). If you haven’t had a chance to do an Underwear Bike Ride yet, I highly encourage you to come out with us before they’re done in October. These evening rides always begin with the crowds meeting at the corner of Butler and 64th streets. The next ride is Aug. 31, to the James St. Gastro Pub, followed by a ride to Penn Brewery on Sept. 28. The ﬁnal ride is the Halloween Ride, on Oct. 26, which ends at Spirit. More information: www.tinyurl.com/pghunderwearride.

08.02/08.09.2017

T H R IA@PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

[THE CHEAP SEATS]

YOUNG GUNS

Felipe Rivero

{BY MIKE WYSOCKI} BASEBALL’S TRADE deadline passed Mon-

day afternoon, and we can be thankful that it’s not like it used to be. It used to be the time of year when fans turned their attention to Steelers training camp and said goodbye to their favorite baseball players. Jack Wilson, Jason Bay and Freddy Sanchez were all sent off to clubs with higher baseball aspirations. In return, guys like Jeff Clement and Andy LaRoche came to town along with a slew of nobodies who petered out in the minors. It was even worse a time for fans who shelled out their money to buy authentic jerseys of players who no longer played here. The front ofﬁce had deemed your purchase irrelevant. But now things are different. It’s fun hearing that the Pirates landed an average player with a halfway recognizable name and respectable track record. And this season has seen the emergence of three young players who are so good, you may want to invest in a jersey again. This is the younger generation of players, all born way back at the end of the 20th century — a time known as “the ’90s.” Andrew McCutchen, Jordy Mercer, Ivan Nova and Josh Harrison are all 30 now, and such graybeards can’t be trusted to be the future. Those old-timers were born during the Reagan administration. Gregory Polanco and Gerrit Cole are part of the youth movement as well, but both were already established major-leaguers at a young age. Polanco is still a work in progress, and the general consensus on Cole is that he inevitably will become too expensive for the Pirates. Everybody expects him to sign a $20 million-a-year contract with somebody else in the next couple of years. So maybe don’t buy Cole’s jersey, but if you buy one featuring the names of these three guys, you should get your money’s worth.

{CP PHOTO BY CHARLIE DEITCH}

Josh Bell

cancer have tried to derail Taillon, but he’s overcome all of them. He was born in Florida, has Canadian parents, went to high school in Texas, and has a surname that sounds French. Taillon is 6’5” and gets the radar gun up to the high 90s; he’s got a circle curve that cuts diagonally across the plate. When he’s on, it’s fun to watch. The heir apparent to the position of Pirates ace has almost one full year under his belt.

IF YOU BUY JERSEYS FEATURING THE NAMES OF THESE THREE GUYS, YOU SHOULD GET YOUR MONEY’S WORTH.

Jameson Taillon Baseball executives have known about him since he threw a no-hitter in high school while striking out 19. Tommy John surgery, a sports hernia, and even

not see disasters like Gaby Sanchez, Lyle Overbay, Ike Davis, Casey McGehee, Travis Ishikawa, Eric Hinske, Matt Hague, Corey Hart or Michael Morse. Also, if you bought any one of those jerseys, it’s your fault, not the Pirates’.

Rivero is having maybe the greatest season by a Pirates reliever since Mark Melancon, for whom he was traded. He’s better than Melancon so far, and maybe the best since Rich “Goose” Gossage brought his nasty stuff out of the Three Rivers bullpen back in the 1970s. Rivero’s ERA and WHIP are both at 0.70. Having either one of those numbers that low this late in the season is truly remarkable. Scouts and fans alike are enamored with the radar gun, and Rivero gives the people what they want as he routinely hits triple digits. If the Pirates can hang in and win the division, they have a closer who is as good as, maybe even better than, anyone in the game right now. The thing that most upsets Pirates fans is the dreaded blown save. The blown save causes a Tourette’s-like reaction from fans who say horrible things about the pitcher who’s just ruined the game. So far this season, Rivero has not blown one game. Nobody has uttered his name in combination with a swear word all season long. At times, he is simply untouchable. Closers come and go in the majors, so there’s no guarantee he’ll be here long. So, let’s hope the Buccos can turn things around and give him a chance to close games in October. I N F O@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

Josh Bell

The guy knows how to make an entrance, as he slugged a grand salami in just his second majorleague plate appearance. Bell’s career was in doubt early, when he badly injured his knee while playing in Charleston with the West Virginia Power. From there, he cruised through Bradenton, Altoona and Indy before arriving here last July. The Pirates’ revolving door of hasbeens and never-weres at first base may finally be over. The Pirates haven’t had a steady, reliable first baseman since Jason Thompson. That was before old man Mercer was even born. Giving Bell $5 million to not play football at the University of Texas is some of the best money the Pirates ever spent. Especially if he’s producing and playing at first base three years from now. It’s nice to look over there and

MI K E W YS O CKI IS A STA NDUP CO MED I AN. FO LLO W HI M O N TWI TTER: @I T SMIK E WYSO C K I

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45. Advertising avenue 47. Yemen or Oman, financially? 53. Put in a serape 54. Tube from the heart 55. Sine ___ non 58. Server’s setback 59. Acquire shares of the pot? 61. Present time 62. Geometry homework 63. Persian speaker 64. Home run runs 65. Pop singer Aimee 66. Some sexts

DOWN 1. Tease 2. ___ Sea (environmental tragedy of Kazakhstan) 3. Legendary Steelers coach Chuck 4. Pro at CPR 5. Sunbather’s spot on a city roof, in slang 6. Make another backup of 7. Fertilized item 8. Promising one 9. Mayweather achievements 10. Product that kills 99.9% of viruses and bacteria 11. Boca ___ 12. Soap acid

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Free Will Astrology

08.02-08.09

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Leo actor Robert DeNiro once observed that most people devote more energy to concealing their emotions and longings than to revealing them. Is that true about you? If so, the coming weeks will be a favorable time to hide less of yourself and express more. There’ll be relatively little hell to pay as a result, and you’ll get a boost of vitality. Don’t go overboard, though. I’m not suggesting that you unveil every last one of your feelings and yearnings to everyone – just to those you trust. Most importantly, I hope you will unveil all your feelings and yearnings to yourself.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): It has almost become a tradition: Each year at about this time, you seem to enjoy scaring the hell out of yourself, and often the heaven, too. These self-inflicted shocks have often had a beneficial side effect. They have served as rousing prompts for you to re-imagine the future. They have motivated and mobilized you. So yes, there has been an apparent method in your madness — an upside to the uproar. What should we expect this time, my dear? A field trip to a crack house or a meth lab? Some fun and games in a pit of snakes? An excursion to the land of bad memories? I suggest something less melodramatic. How about, for example, a frolic with unruly allies in a future paradise that’s still a bit unorganized?

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Before grapes become wine, they have to be cleaned. Then crushed. Then macerated and pressed. The next phase is fermentation, followed by filtering. The aging process, which

brings the grapes’ transformation to completion, requires more time then the other steps. At the end, there’s one more stage: putting the wine in bottles. I’d like to compare the grapes’ evolution to the story of your life since your last birthday. You are nearing the end of the aging phase. When that’s finished, I hope you put great care into the bottling. It’s as important as the other steps.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Are you gearing up to promote yourself and your services? In my astrological opinion, you should be. If so, you could put the following testimonial from me in your résumé or advertisement: “[place your name here] is a poised overseer of nerve-wracking transitions and a canny scout who is skilled at tracking down scarce resources. He/she can help you acquire the information and enhancements you don’t quite have the power to get by yourself. When conditions are murky or perplexing, this plucky soul is enterprising and inventive.”

get your yoga on!

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Your eyes are more powerful than you realize. If you were standing on a mountaintop under a cloudless night sky with no moon, you could see a fire burning 50 miles away. Your imagination is also capable of feats that might surprise you. It can, for example, provide you with an expansive and objective view of your entire life history. I advise you to seek that boost now. Ask your imagination to give you a prolonged look at the big picture of where you have been and where you are going. I think it’s essential to your discovery of the key to the next chapter of your life story.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Love is your gritty but sacred duty. It’s your prickly prod and your expansive riddle, your curious joy and your demanding teacher. I’m talking about the whole gamut, Capricorn — from messy personal romantic love to lucid unconditional spiritual love; from asking smartly for what you desire to gratefully giving more than you thought you had. Can you handle this much sweet, dark mystery? Can you grow your intimacy skills fast enough to keep up with the interesting challenges? I think you can.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): There’s an eclipse of the moon coming up in the sign of Aquarius. Will it bring bad luck or good luck? Ha! That’s a trick question. I threw it in to see if you have been learning anything from my efforts to redeem astrology’s reputation. Although some misinformed people regard my chosen field as a superstitious pseudo-science, I say it’s an imaginative art form that helps us identify and transform our subconscious patterns. So the wise answer to my earlier question is that the imminent lunar eclipse is neither bad luck nor good luck. Rather, it tells you that have more power than usual to: 1. tame and manage the disruptive and destructive aspects of your instinctual nature; 2. make progress in dissolving your old conditioning; 3. become more skilled at mothering yourself.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

schoolhouseyoga.com gentle yoga yin yoga ÁRZ \RJD meditation

teacher training ashtanga yoga prenatal yoga family yoga

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

08.02/08.09.2017

August is Good Hard Labor Month for you Pisceans. It’s one of those rare times when a smart version of workaholic behavior might actually make sense. Why? First of all, it could ultimately lead to a pay raise or new perks. Secondly, it may bring to light certain truths about your job that you’ve been unconscious of. Third, it could awaken you to the fact that you haven’t been trying as hard as you could to fulfill one of your long-term dreams; it might expand your capacity to devote yourself passionately to the epic tasks that matter most. For your homework, please meditate on this thought: Summoning your peak effort in the little things will mobilize your peak effort for the Big Thing.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In my astrological opinion, your life in the coming days should draw inspiration from the ancient Roman festival of Saturnalia, a six-day bout of revelry that encouraged everyone to indulge in pleasure, speak freely, and give gifts. Your imminent future could (and I believe should) also have resemblances to the yearly Doo Dah Parade in Pasadena, which features a farcical cavalcade of lunatics, like the Shopping Cart Drill Team, The Radioactive Chicken Heads, the Army of Toy Soldiers, and the Men of Leisure Synchronized Nap Team. In other words, Aries, it’s an excellent time to set aside your dignity and put an emphasis on having uninhibited fun; to amuse yourself to the max as you experiment on the frontiers of self-expression; to be the person you would be if you had nothing to lose.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): It’s time to Reinvent the Wheel and Rediscover Fire, Taurus. In my astrological opinion, you’ll be wasting your time unless you return to the root of all your Big Questions. Every important task will mandate you to consult your heart’s primal intelligence. So don’t mess around with trivial pleasures or transitory frustrations that won’t mean anything to you a year from now. Be a mature wild child in service to the core of your creative powers.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Writing in The Futurist magazine, Christopher Wolf says that the tradition of eating three hearty meals per day is fading and will eventually disappear. “Grazing” will be the operative term for how we get our fill, similar to the method used by cavemen and cavewomen. The first snack after we awaken, Wolf suggests, might be called “daystart.” The ensuing four could be dubbed “pulsebreak,” “humpmunch,” “holdmeal” and “evesnack.” In light of your current astrological omens, Gemini, I endorse a comparable approach to everything you do: not a few big doses, but rather frequent smaller doses; not intense cramming but casual browsing; not sprawling heroic epics but a series of amusing short stories.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The RIKEN Institute in Japan experiments with using ion beams to enhance plant growth. In one notable case, they created a new breed of cherry tree that blossoms four times a year and produces triple the amount of flowers. The blooms last longer, too, and the trees thrive under a wider span of temperatures. In the next 11 months, Cancerian, you won’t need to be flooded with ion beams to experience a similar phenomenon. I expect that your power to bloom and flourish will be far stronger than usual. What do you know or do that very few people know or do? Tell me at FreeWillAstrology.com. Click on “Email Rob.”

GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT-MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 OR 1-900-950-7700

’ LET S

Savage Love {BY DAN SAVAGE}

My wife has been seriously ill for three years, and I have been her sole caregiver. The doctors here weren’t getting the job done, so we made the difficult decision for her to move 2,000 miles away to start over and be near her family. Our sex life has been nonexistent since she became ill. She offered me a “hall pass” with two rules: (1) It couldn’t be anyone I worked with and (2) she didn’t want to know about it. She offered multiple times, but I was taking care of her 24/7 and never used it. I started to consider using it after she moved. But I didn’t want to just find some random person on Tinder. You see, I am a cross-dresser. My wife knows. She’s never seen me dressed and isn’t interested in knowing more about it. So instead of paying for a traditional escort, I found someone who would dress me, do my makeup, go out to dinner with me, but no sex. We met three times. However, one time I did hire a trans woman who dressed me and we did have sex. Obviously, I had to lie at times about where I was when I was using my hall pass, but I considered it a white lie to meet Rule No. 2. But my wife flew home unannounced to get her things (with her ex-husband along to help) and found my clothes out and quickly got out of me what I had done. She was beyond pissed. She says I had a hall pass for sex but not cross-dressing. She belittled me for the cross-dressing and said the sex was supposed to be a one-and-done thing. She knew I was a cross-dresser, and I derived more pleasure from this cross-dressing experience than having anonymous sex with an escort. My questions: Did I violate the hall pass? Was I wrong to cross-dress?

be free to find a partner you don’t have to hide your cross-dressing from.

MORE THAN HALF THE WOMEN MURDERED IN THE UNITED STATES EVERY YEAR ARE KILLED BY THEIR HUSBANDS, BOYFRIENDS, OR EXES.

DUDE RELISHING EROTIC SEXCAPADES SUDDENLY ENTERTAINING DIVORCE

P.S. I am quite convincing when dressed and blend well in public. Your wife went home to get well and “start over.” And it sounds like she got well — at least well enough to fly — and started over with her ex-husband. I don’t think you were wrong to cross-dress, DRESSED, and if you violated that hall pass, it was only because your soon-to-be-ex-wife didn’t share all the rules with you until after you used it. It looks like a setup to me. Your soon-to-beex-wife gave you permission to fuck someone else — permission that came with rules that were disclosed and secret bylaws and codicils that were not — because, consciously or subconsciously, she wanted to catch you doing it wrong (in your case, DRESSED, doing it more than once, cross-dressing when you did it, etc.). Because now she can divorce you with a clear conscience, since she’s not to blame for the split — you and your dick and your dresses are to blame. You might want to brace yourself for some hardcore blaming and kink-shaming, DRESSED, and for the very real possibility she’ll out you as a cheat and a cross-dresser to family and friends. But however the divorce plays out — and here’s hoping it doesn’t get ugly — at least you’ll soon

GET S CIAL

I’m a 25-year-old man who is mostly interested in women but I like to mess around with men sometimes. I also love wearing high heels and makeup — not to “pass,” but just because I love it. Most women seem to be instantly turned off by these two things. I usually do very well with women, but they bolt when I tell them, and some have been quite hurtful. My family is very understanding about the high heels and my sexuality — even my father — but the average woman doesn’t seem to like it when I do something that they deem “theirs.” Which is so unfair. Women can do anything they please — wear pants if they like, have same-sex experiences — but I must submit or face the life of an outcast. Any advice on how to deal with this while also dealing with the bitterness and envy I feel? ENRAGING GENDER AND DOUBLE STANDARDS

Let’s start with those feelings of envy, shall we? While it’s true that women can wear pantsuits without causing alarm (or winning the White House), and while it’s also true that women can have samesex experiences without freaking out the men in their lives (because straight men are likelier to be aroused than repulsed), women’s choices and their bodies are subjected to much more scrutiny, control and violence than our male bodies are, EGADS. Until politicians legislate against your right to control your own body (and wear your own heels), you can note the few areas where women enjoy more latitude than men, but you aren’t allowed to bitch about them. And this should put your pain in perspective: According to a new report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than half the women murdered in the United States every year — 55 percent — are killed by their husbands, boyfriends or exes. It sucks to be dumped for your sexual orientation or gender expression, I know. And people kink-shaming is more painful than non-kinksters realize. But none of your exes have stalked and murdered you. Now the good news: There are women out there who dig men in high heels, there are women out there into bi guys, and there is a significant overlap between those two groups of women. If you succumb to bitterness at your young age because you’ve been dumped a few times — if you despise all women because you were dumped by women you wouldn’t want to be with anyway — you’re going to scare off the women who are genuinely attracted to guys like you. The women who bolted did you a painful favor, and you should be grateful. Because with those average women out of your life, EGADS, you’re free to go find an above-average woman who wants an above-average guy like you. Pro tip: You’re likelier to find those women at a fetish party or club, or via a kink social-media site or dating website. Good luck.

)ROORZ XV WR ƓQG RXW ZKDWōV KDSSHQLQJ @PGHCITYPAPER FACEBOOK.COM/ PITTSBURGHCITYPAPER

On the Lovecast, “sub space” with Mollena Williams: savagelovecast.com.

SEND YOUR QUESTIONS TO MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET AND FIND THE SAVAGE LOVECAST (DAN’S WEEKLY PODCAST) AT SAVAGELOVECAST.COM

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THE SH*T LIST

Hall of Shame {BY CHARLIE DEITCH}

ELSEWHERE IN THIS ISSUE, we brought you our second-annual

Shit List, which highlighted some of the crappiest elected officials currently serving our citizens. However, dealing with turds in public office isn’t something new for this region. In order to give our esteemed list historical perspective, here is the first class in City Paper’s Shit List Hall of Shame.

Luke Ravenstahl, Former Pittsburgh Mayor He was the youngest person to ever serve as mayor of a large U.S. city, so it’s only fitting that the Democrat leads off this inaugural class of dingleberries. Ravenstahl would serve eight long years until he decided to halt his 2013 re-election campaign. He took over after Mayor Bob O’Connor died in 2006. Ravenstahl took a questionable trip on a millionaire’s plane; he used the old do-you-know-who-the-fuck-I-am trick to scam his way into a golf outing with Tiger Woods; he took a Homeland Security-funded police vehicle to a Toby Keith concert; a campaign donor was awarded a $250,000 URA contract despite being the highest bidder; Ravenstahl spent more than $250,000 in grant money to put his name on 250 city trash cans (yes, that’s more than $1,000 each); and he tried to place a 1 percent tax on university tuition that would go straight to city coffers. If we ever start a D-list (D = douche), I’m sure Ravenstahl will be the first inductee for that as well.

Jeff Habay, Former Pa. Representative This Republican state rep from Shaler had one of the most loyal campaign staffs of almost any politician in the country. Unfortunately, they were loyal because they also worked on his state-funded legislative staff, and he forced them to do campaign work on the public’s time. Habay was convicted of that charge, which included threatening to take an employee’s health care if the worker didn’t march in a parade to campaign for Habay; and forcing state employees to hold campaign signs on election day and wave at passing motorists — a move that was dubbed the “Habay Wave.” The shittiest thing he did, however, was to accuse a constituent in 2004 — the one who requested the audit that led to the criminal conviction — of sending Habay a letter filled with suspected anthrax. The powder was baking soda, and Habay staged the entire thing. He was convicted on those charges as well, and served four additional months in prison. Today, Habay sells real estate and takes bit parts in movies filmed here (fun fact: he played a police officer in The Dark Knight Rises). Here’s hoping his movie work is more convincing than his anthrax performance.

Rick Santorum, Former U.S. Senator An introduction to all the horrible shit former U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum has done over the years is really unnecessary at this point. He’s so antigay that syndicated columnist Dan Savage (whose work we proudly publish in this paper every week) and his readers turned “Santorum” into the name for the “frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.” Some of the more ridiculous things Rick Santorum has said include comparing homosexuality to bestiality, and saying that the fight against same-sex marriage is just like the fight against the terrorists involved in the 9/11 attacks: “We didn’t decide we wanted to fight the war on terrorism because we wanted to. It was brought to us.” He’s also against contraception, pornography, science of any kind and even legal immigration. He’s a turd of the highest order.

Darlene Harris, Pittsburgh Schools Board Member Before you start writing nasty letters to the Hall of Shame Board of Directors alleging that Harris is both on the active Shit List and in the Hall of Shame, note that this designation is only for her work on the Pittsburgh Public Schools Board. (Truth be told, her city-council career will likely make this list in the future.) While Harris will say that she was only providing checks and balances on the school’s superintendents during her tenure, she thrived on micromanaging and nitpicking. She once took up a chunk of a board meeting arguing about the necessity of box lunches that were bought for student musicians who were invited by the governor to play at a function. She fought, often tooth-and-nail, with superintendents over every decision, be it the aforementioned school lunches or the necessary move to close neighborhood schools and consolidate students for the sake of efficiency and quality education for all students. She once even drafted, without any district input, a “housewife’s special” budget — which was passed — that included a plan for an annual telethon with the district’s faculty and students performing to raise money. The budget also slashed the pay of many district administrators while giving the board $1 million to hire consultants to double-check every decision school officials made, and reopened three neighborhood schools that together served fewer than 300 students. Luckily for the district, she was crushed by Patrick Dowd in the 2003 election. Unfortunately for city council, she resurfaced there three years later. C D E I T C H @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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