Pittsburgh’s pools, ranked
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Pittsburgh’s pools, ranked
Which pool is “Patrick Mahomes” and which is “human soup”? Read on to find out ahead of the 2024 Citiparks pool season.BY: JILL TERNER // INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM
Pittsburgh being a river city has its recreational benefits, but one thing our waterways don’t offer is a key summertime activity: swimming. So what do Pittsburghers do when the temps go up and a cool dip beckons? Why, visit one of the city’s many public swimming pools, of course!
Growing up in Pittsburgh meant that the public pool was a home away from home from Memorial Day through Labor Day. As an adult, when the spring of 2020 turned to summer, the chorus of complaints from the kids in my neighborhood had a recurrent theme: the pools were closed. When only eight pools were reopened in 2021, the chorus remained.
Then, in 2022, 12 Citiparks pools opened. I hatched a plan to visit every pool and rate it. This plan was born of two things: a love of public pools and a love of lists. I began posting that content on Instagram
and eventually compiled an inaugural rating season for The Incline newsletter in 2022.
After year one, I adjusted my rubric and delivered another set of ratings for the 2023 season. In 2023, I rated pools across six broad categories, with two to four criteria within each category.
The biggest change ahead of the 2023 season was openings and closures. Four pools that had been closed in 2022 were re-opened in 2023: West Penn, Phillips, Banksville and McBride. Though the addition of these four pools meant an overall increase to the roster, the closure of Bloomfield Pool left a void in the summer landscape that was hard to fill both socially and literally. I think I speak for everyone when I say I hope to see this hipster hotspot open again in 2024.
Continued staffing shortages meant that not all 18 pools could be open, and, of the 15 that were open
during the 2023 season, not all of them were open every day. On the brighter side, however, community engagement kept pools such as Sue Murray open as Pittsburghers continued to recognize the importance of having a place to cool down, move their bodies, and generally get outside.
As for what’s changed about the rubric itself, after the 2022 season, I asked my devoted Instagram followers to share any thoughts they had on how the rubric could be improved. The biggest change this led to was the addition of two new categories: Accessibility and Infrastructure & Upkeep. Further, I tweaked a few existing categories to give more weight to General Accommodations and less to Adult Considerations. While proximity to a cold post-swim beer is important to some (including yours truly), I thought items like functioning kiddie areas and an inclusive environment were more representative
of how most swimmers use pools.
Making pools more accessible, whether through ease of commute, ADA-compliant facilities, or expanded hours of operation is crucial. A smart person I know once quipped, while floating in one of our city’s pools, “Public pools are for everybody, so they should be accessible to everybody.” As things continue to heat up in both our literal and figurative climates, a great way to mitigate this is to take a dip. Easier access to pools may just be what we need for cooler heads to prevail.
Full rankings ahead of the 2024 season are below. The lowest score a pool could get was 19 (though thankfully none scored that low), and a perfect score would be a 114 (no pool got a perfect, either).
The average score was 82.76, with a standard deviation of 8.15.
“PUBLIC POOLS ARE FOR EVERYBODY, SO THEY SHOULD BE ACCESSIBLE TO EVERYBODY.”
15
McBride Pool in Lincoln Place (65 POINTS)
While this pool is close to other recreational amenities (tennis courts, deck hockey, etc.) and situated in a very cute neighborhood, it is the smallest public pool I have ever seen. The bathrooms and locker rooms are not part of the pool area. Instead, they are located across the parking lot. When I went, it was nearly impossible not to make physical contact with another person while in the pool, and the sense that I was in a human soup was very real. But the crowd was friendly and diverse, frequently assisting the staff with skimming the surface of the pool while catching up on neighborhood gossip.
14 Riverview Pool in Observatory Hill (68 POINTS)
This pool feels like a fortress atop a hill and offers a glimpse of the dome of the Allegheny Observatory on a clear day. Accessibility is an issue here, though: In order to get to the pool, you either have to walk up steps from street parking or take a long macadam path from the playground that has no guardrail. But once you’re in the pool area proper, there are lifts and a generous shallow end where you can listen to the wind rustle through the trees in the park, along with a very accessible bathroom.
13 Phillips Pool in Carrick (79 POINTS)
Carrick is truly its own special place, and Phillips Pool lends itself to that community vibe. One of the pools with a separate and functioning kiddie area, its proximity to the local school and park make it no wonder that adults and kids alike are all on a first name basis with each other. Even though it was a little buggy and the liner was folded in the shallow end on the day I visited, this local gem showed the importance of public pools in building and maintaining community relationships.
12 Sue Murray Pool on the North Side (79 POINTS)
The public outcry that kept Sue Murray pool open over the past few years was part of the reason I became interested in pools as a public good. The infrastructure here is in need of some TLC (I saw grit coming out of the filtration system), but the location is amazing. You can swim a few laps before walking to a Pirates game or grabbing a bite in Deutschtown. I hope repairs are made to this pool soon because the historic feel is great, and the neighborhood definitely benefits from having an open pool during the summer, even if it is only open limited days a week.
11
Banksville Pool in Banksville (80 POINTS)
Growing up in the South Hills, I was a regular at Dormont Pool just outside the city limits. I never knew this sweet little pool existed just down Banksville Rd., and that it possessed a certain je-ne-sais-quois retro vibe that I really liked. Similar to McBride pool, Banksville is located in close proximity to other recreational options, but it has its own dedicated locker room (which was officially The Cleanest). Up on Crane Ave., it is not walkable, but it’s worth the drive if you want to go through the tunnel for a dip. Superlative Winner: Cleanest Locker Rooms
10
Ammon Pool in The Hill District (81 POINTS)
I’ve been to this pool a handful of times, and I’d really like to be there when the grill is lit and cooking. This pool’s clean water and overall size lends itself to sport so well that they host water polo practices. There isn’t a good deal of space for wading or kiddie swimming, and the entrance’s accessibility is a little dicey, but the pool, adjacent structures, and fencing are all in good shape and the staff is friendly.
9 West Penn Pool in Polish Hill (83 POINTS)
This was where I kicked off my pool tour in 2023. Though small, the pool, locker rooms, and surrounding area are very clean. The view to the North of Millvale/Shaler is in contrast to the greenery that hugs it from every other side. If the pool isn’t punk enough for you, you can always walk over to one of the local Polish Hill haunts afterwards for refreshments Superlative Winner: Best New Pool
8 Jack Stack Pool in Brighton Heights (84 POINTS)
Jack Stack pool was my personal favorite in 2022, with its view of the Observatory (opposite Riverview’s) and cool shower sculpture near the entrance. Unfortunately, 2023 saw this pool closed for a decent portion of the season due to a tragic shooting. After re-opening, the police presence was a reminder of the violence that took place, but the presence of families and older neighborhood regulars was a sign of resilience. While the kiddie pool was not operational, there is an ample shallow area for wading, and the general lack of tree cover makes it a great place to catch some rays.
7
Westwood Pool in Westwood (84 POINTS)
I don’t think I would have ever known the neighborhood of Westwood existed if it weren’t for this pool, and I am glad it brought me there. While parking is a tight squeeze past the elementary school, especially during Little League games, this pool is well maintained and boasts a functional separate kiddie pool. In all of 2022 and 2023, Westwood was the only pool I visited where the snack bar was open, but that was for the adjacent Little League game. If it s not a game day, definitely pack your own snacks.
6
Ormsby Pool on South side (85 POINTS)
Even if you’ve never been there, I am sure you know where this pool is, right by the Birmingham Bridge in the South Side. In an otherwise busy urban landscape, it’s a cool respite from the heat of the streets. That said, one of my goals for is to ask the staff here how you would access the bathroom if you use a wheelchair. The locker rooms and bathrooms are down a poorly lit ight of stairs in the ad acent community building and are in need of some TLC. Otherwise, the pool and surrounding area are clean, welcoming, and just a stone’s throw from many places to catch public transport, or even a post-swim drink.
5 Schenley Pool in Schenley Park (87 POINTS)
This is a great example of accessibility shining as a new category in 2024. The only pool to score perfectly in this category, Schenley has a gently sloping ramp to the entrance located right by ADA parking spots, as well as an accessible shower stall. Being located near two of the city’s busiest campuses, commuter accessibility and proximity to public transport is great, as well. There was no designated adult lap swim time at chenley due to staffing shortages, but there are nearby bike trails if you want to get your exercise in the park before cooling off with a dip. Superlative Winner: Most Accessible
4
Magee Pool in Greenfield (87 POINTS)
Magee boasts both concrete and grass sitting areas, along with some extra canopies to add to the shade already provided by the trees. A gently sloping shallow end allows swimmers of all abilities to wade in to a comfortable depth. The adjacent building that houses the locker rooms is an active living center for neighborhood seniors, accessible by both steps and a ramp. You’d never guess that this urban oasis is located on busy Greenfield Ave., but if you work up a hunger while swimming, Rialto Pizza and other tasty spots are nearby for a bite.
3 Moore Pool in Brookline (90 POINTS)
Talk about a Cinderella story! Moore ranked last in 2022 but has made its way up to bronze medal status due to overall accessibility and updated infrastructure. This pool is large and also has bleachers along the side that give it a natatorium feel. While the deep end only goes down to 6’6”, there’s ample space for swimmers of all abilities. Though not walkable to a commercial district, do yourself a favor and drive or take the bus to Red’s Good News or Moonlite Cafe in Brookline after you dry off. Superlative Winner: Glow-Up Award
2
Ream Pool in Mt. Washington (92 POINTS)
You know what they say: “Teamwork makes the Ream work,” right? Well that’s right in this case. I simply cannot get over how adorable this pool is. Even though there is no grass in the pool area proper, there’s plenty of shaded concrete areas to put your towels. The friendly staff has a bulletin board with their bios (“The Ream Team”), and the community garden just over the fence from the pool has an undeniable hobbit vibe. While the locker rooms could use a facelift, the whole facility is clean and welcoming. There’s no separate kiddie area, but a large shallow end helps make up for that. Walkability to Mt. Washington commercial districts makes this charming pool a great way to spend a summer day. Superlative Winner: Most Charming/Rater’s Favorite
1
Highland Park Pool in Highland Park (96 POINTS)
With "Bloomfield Beach" closed in 2023, I thought for sure that many of those patrons would flock over to West Penn pool in Polish Hill. But only one pool had the capacity, the idyllic location, and the sheer rizz to draw the crowds from the closed mid-size pool and still have room to spare. Yes, my friends, we are talking about the GOAT and two-time pool-rating champion — Highland Park, the Patrick Mahomes of pools. It’s not my personal favorite, but I can’t deny that size matters. Not only could the main pool likely fit multiple smaller pools in it, there is a separate kiddie pool and splash area with a working mushroom. Especially after fixing the issues that plagued it last year, I have to admit the title is well deserved. Superlative Winner: See and Be Seen •
BESSIE GANT:
BY: STACY ROUNDSIam an avid collector of vintage cookbooks. There are at least 40 in my collection, which I started at age that s when I received my very first Betty Crocker cookbook as a Christmas gift. So when I was researching an article about Pittsburgh’s historic cookbooks, I felt inspired by our local culinary foremothers and forefathers (some of whom were Steelers), and I wound up purchasing a couple more cookbooks. Okay, four.
But there was one book, let’s call it the “one that got away,” that I couldn’t find in any local bookstore or library. I even combed the web, scouring sites like Ama on and Thriftbooks. I eventually found a few copies on rare book sites, all sold out. This cookbook was originally self-published by its author. Only one copy can be found in Pittsburgh, at the University of Pittsburgh’s rare books and special collections catalog ... and it can t leave the university. Then, I found an active listing at Swann Auction Galleries, so I got my hopes up. A day later, it sold for nearly .
That price tag made me wonder what could have been so special about this local cookbook from the 1940s: Bess' Cook book, 400 Original Recipes, and its author, essie ant. It turns out, she was one of the nation s most notable Black culinary experts of her time, and perhaps Pittsburgh s
very first celebrity chef.
After scouring dozens of issues of the Pittsburgh Courier from 1928-1954 and scanning old photos and records from CLA Library s Special Collections, I discovered that Bessie Gant (1896 -1962) lived in Pittsburgh during the 1920s and again in the late s s, and possibly the s (though records show she spent much of her later years in Los Angeles).
he was born in Omaha, eb.and grew up in ansas City, o. before she returned to ebraska as a young woman and married orrest ant. hen essie was years old, she won a baking contest and found her life’s passion, according to an interview from the ec. , issue of the Pittsburgh Courier. In that same article, Gant says that she cooked at home every chance she got before moving on to work for wealthy
families in their kitchens, “always with good results.”
Gant wrote extensively in her cooking column in the Pittsburgh Courier , “Bess' Secrets 'bout Good Things to Eat,” about her travels around the United States and Canada, picking up tips, tricks, and timehonored recipes along the way. She fused this culinary knowledge with her Midwestern roots and created a mass of homespun recipes that captured the hearts of Pittsburgh society, Chicagoans, Los Angeles’ Black elite, and numerous celebrities.
An article in the Pittsburgh Courier on Aug. 25, 1928 highlights Gant, known then as a well-respected Pittsburgh caterer, as the up-andcoming proprietor of a new society tea room in Chicago. This tea room, called the Stop and Dine, was slated in the article to serve all of the finest in breakfasts, dinners, and society parties, as well as offer a centralized meeting place for fellow Pittsburgh natives to gather in the Windy City.
Between 1928 and 1938, Gant must have made a name for herself nationally. An article in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette in 1939 stated that she was already cooking for celebrities such as Gertrude Lawrence, Tallulah Whitehead, and Helen Hayes. After self-publishing her cookbook, Gant famously penned the weekly Pittsburgh Courier cooking column from 1939 to 1956. In those days, the Pittsburgh Courier circulated to over 200,000 Black Americans all over the U. S..
During her tenure at the Pittsburgh Courier, Gant spent much of her time in California, calling Los Angeles her second home. There, she got acquainted with many of the A-list celebrities of the day and became a chef to the stars. The last five pages of the 1947 and 1949 (third edition) prints of her cookbook are devoted to "Favorite Recipes of Famous Personalities," including Lena Horne, Walt Disney, Katherine Hepburn, and more. Several of her cooking columns
between 1941 and 1956 pay tribute to celebrities she hobnobbed with and possibly cooked for, including Fred Astaire and Hattie McDaniel.
The first edition of her self-published cookbook was available for purchase on Dec. 22, 1938, nearly two years before James Beard’s first cookbook, Hors d’Oeuvre and Canapés was released. There are no known first editions of Gant’s cookbook in circulation today. The second and third editions were printed between
1940 and 1949 with several updates including 200 additional recipes and her “celebrity favorites” section.
Gant's original cookbook was sold for $1.50 with the third edition retailing for $2. At the time of the book's release, she advertised extensively in the Pittsburgh Courier, collecting money order payments at a P.O. Box in Pittsburgh. I’m sure she’d be tickled to see her sought-after book sold at auction for hundreds of dollars today. •
FOX CHAPEL FALLOUT
Locals of color say they’re “not wanted” given the expensive borough’s history of racismBY: DAVID ROTENSTEIN // INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM
Pittsburgh City Paper ’s article about Fox Chapel as a sundown town elicited a lot of strong reactions. Some people objected to describing the borough as a “sundown town.” Others acknowledged Fox Chapel’s exclusionary history but claimed the community has moved on and is now welcoming to all people.
And then there were the people for whom the article hit home. People in the last group shared recent
examples of racial hostility and the many reasons why Fox Chapel’s demographic profile still looks like it did nearly a century ago.
There were no known lynchings in Fox Chapel, and there were no episodes of racial violence like the 1909 roundup of Hill District residents or the racial massacres that happened in Elaine, Ark., in 1919 and Tulsa, Okla., in 1921. Yet, public policies and private land transactions made Fox Chapel a place for white people
only for most of its history. The borough remains one of a handful of Pittsburgh communities that some Black homebuyers say they avoid, and where many Black Pittsburghers do not feel comfortable visiting.
Sociologist James Loewen, author of the 2005 book, “Sundown Towns: a hidden dimension of American racism,” published an essay in 2016 aimed at journalists and historians. He asked them to consider one question: “If [a town] is overwhelmingly monoracial,
decade after decade, ask why.” City Paper did that in our first article. We asked borough officials and combed through historical records to show that Fox Chapel’s history fit the sundown town model.
But what about Fox Chapel today? There must be reasons why its zoning remains exclusionary by some definitions and why Black residents comprise only one percent (64 out of 5,343 people) of the borough’s population.
Marshall McDonald is a Grammywinning musician who grew up in Fox Chapel. His father, Alonzo, was an oral surgeon, and his mother, Inez, was a civil rights activist. The McDonalds might have been the first Black people to buy a home there. The five-member family was among the 23 Black residents — 22% of Fox Chapel’s Black population — recorded in the 1970 census.
A neighbor called him a “monkey” and other names while waiting for the school bus. Still, the family bought the house from Houghteling five months later.
“The police were stationed outside of our house when we first moved there,” McDonald remembers his mother telling him. “The police also told her to keep me away from the windows because they were afraid
“MY MOTHER ALWAYS TOLD ME, DON’T LIVE NOWHERE YOU’RE NOT WANTED. DON’T GO NOWHERE WHERE YOU’RE NOT WANTED.”
Two Carnegie Mellon University economics professors paved the way for the McDonalds to move into Fox Chapel. James Houghteling Jr. bought 15 Chapel Ridge Rd. in January 1964. He owned a Squirrel Hill home when he bought the Fox Chapel house with the intention of reselling it, which he eventually did, to the McDonalds. Houghteling was a straw buyer: a white man who bought property from another white person who did not want to sell to Black buyers.
At the time, Richard Cyert and his family lived a few houses away from 15 Chapel Ridge Rd. A colleague of Houghteling’s in CMU’s Economics Department, Cyert became the university’s president in 1972. The Cyert and McDonald families attended the First Unitarian Church in Shadyside and they became friends prior to the McDonalds’ move.
Marshall McDonald was in elementary school when his family moved into the Chapel Ridge Rd. home, and he recalls the hostile environment his family moved into.
that someone would try to shoot through the window.”
The Cyerts had three daughters. They have remained friends with Marshall. Steffes recalls the ostracism their family faced after the McDonalds moved onto the street.
“I was told by a couple of the families when I went over to play with my neighborhood friends that I was no longer welcome in their home,” Steffes tells Pittsburgh City Paper
The other kids, Steffes vividly remembers, called her family “n— lovers.”
They resisted the community’s racism by avoiding segregated places like the Chapel Gate Swimming Club, which opened in O’Hara Township in 1960. “We had to have our own swimming pool because we weren’t allowed to swim in any of the other pools because Blacks and other races weren’t allowed,” Steffes says.
“The only Black people who could come in [there were] ... nannies, people who are watching the children,” says Lynn Cyert, Steffes’ older sister.
DON’T LIVE WHERE YOU’RE NOT WANTED
More recent examples include a Black cyclist who told CP about the racial slurs shouted to their group by drivers as they rode through the borough. “We started on the North Side, came through Millvale, Aspinwall to Fox Chapel,” says the cyclist who asked that we not name them. “So as we’re going up the hill, this truck rides past and starts calling us you know, n-word.”
Then, another truck passed. “And you could tell they were white men, [they] called us the n-word.”
It’s reasons like the cyclist’s experience, and the episodes recounted by the McDonald and Cyert families, that perpetuate Fox Chapel’s uneven racial makeup.
The cyclist was born in the Hill District and now lives in Penn Hills. “When I looked for my house … I was not looking anywhere but either Penn Hills or Monroeville. You’re not looking in Fox Chapel,” they tell CP “My mother always told me, don’t live nowhere you’re not wanted. Don’t go nowhere where you’re not wanted. And you know, nobody wants to be in the middle of some racist [people].”
Biking through Fox Chapel
dredged up familiar and unpleasant memories. The first time they were called the n-word as a child is indelibly etched in their memory. They were waiting for a trolley to take them from the Hill District to Brashear High School.
“This old man who was like the town little drunk or crazy, he kept repeating the word ‘[n—]’” they say.
“I can remember each time it happened to me. Nobody forgets that.”
Rob Jones is a Black man whose family has lived in Pittsburgh since the early 1900s. He describes a climate where passive acceptance of racist behavior is the norm.
“This stuff is [on] automatic pilot,” he says. “You don’t really have to do anything. You don’t have to pass any ordinances, you don’t have to have those exclusive covenants. You just don’t have to do anything.”
All the work to make Fox Chapel exclusionary was completed decades ago.
“Whether you look at Fox Chapel or Upper St. Clair, it’s just all the same dynamic where … government, either local or all the way up to federal, implements certain policies as long
as you can get away with them for a decade or two or five,” Jones says. “After that, you can take the signs down because all of the rest of this stuff happens organically and you don’t have to do anything.”
Fox Chapel’s invisible walls worked well enough to keep Cheryl Hall-Russell from looking for a home there when she moved to Pittsburgh 13 years ago. The community looked good on paper, especially the highly rated school system, and she could have afforded the area’s prices.
Then she talked to longtime Pittsburgh residents and heard stories about Black children being marginalized because of their race. And, she heard stories about Fox Chapel being openly hostile towards Black people.
“They understood that Black families were not welcome there,” she says. “And so, once you’ve established that, it is very difficult to forget that history.”
Fox Chapel’s history and stories about racial hostility continue to make the borough unappealing to some Black homebuyers. The high price tags for many Fox Chapel homes keep the borough exclusive; its racism makes it exclusionary.
“There’s a difference between exclusive and exclusion,” says Jones.
CP reached out to borough officials for comments on the earlier story. We also wanted to know more about diversity in the borough’s workforce and Fox Chapel’s current demographics. We got no responses by press time. •
ENOUGH WITH THE YINZER RAGEBAIT
BY: COLIN WILLIAMS // CWILLIAMS@PGHCITYPAPER.COMIt’s a dark time in Pittsburgh — for anyone listening to local sports talking heads and ragebait-peddlers, at least. If you’re to believe the likes of Colin unlap and arty riffin, the city has become one long bullet-riddled drag show featuring poop vandals and dangerous antiwar “thugs.” Much of this, they imply, is due to mayor Ed Gainey, who, like favorite local bogeyman Mike Tomlin, has allegedly screwed up the difficult task of building on past success (hmm, what else do they have in common?).
The problem is this: neither unlap nor riffin live in Pittsburgh
or have skin in the game beyond making money off of fear. They are two of many suburbanites who think Pittsburgh should be a quirky place for them to visit and exploit like a sort of Rust Belt Disney World. Instead of helping the unhoused or working to improve local policy, they prefer to grouse on the sidelines while their reply guys predict our inevitable slide into squalor or vow to keep their dollars in Cranberry. It’s all very tiresome and unhelpful.
You don’t need a degree in political science or a background in history to see what’s happening here — anyone who knows who Wendy Bell is (or was,
themselves to curse on social media, which is objectively funny.) Dunlap, meanwhile, seems to be keeping most of his powder dry in order to ame Allegheny County councilmemberat-large Bethany Hallam at all hours for her anti-carceral stances. Unlike riffin, he seems unable to de escalate this one-sided feud even after a relatively civil dialogue with Hallam on his KDKA radio show. It’s indicative of the unfortunate ways some treat politics as zero-sum trench warfare.
To be clear, homelessness is a real issue in Pittsburgh as in many cities. Yet murders have fallen sharply since the end of COVID-19 lockdowns. Meanwhile, Downtown is heavily staffed with cops and Clean Team members. Sure, you see opioid use — a national tragedy that demands solutions — but none of this has impeded tourists and visitors from ocking in pre pandemic numbers to the Golden Triangle.
per our T-shirt) will recognize the dog whistling, overheated rhetoric, and winks to the region’s large population of Twitter unkies with American ag emo is in their profile. These blue check yeomen then do their duty on every riffin and unlap post by complaining about the “Democrat party” and pissing and moaning about how dirty Downtown supposedly is now under Gainey. Rinse and repeat.
Paul Zeise and Mark Madden are no strangers to this genre, either, though both train most of their fire on Pittsburgh’s beleaguered coaches. (Also of note: neither can bring
If you believe unlap or riffin, however, you probably think a visit to the Benedum will end with your cowboy hat wiss cheesed by ying bullets and syringes or your car hi acked by a keffiyeh wearing mob. It would be funny if it weren’t so cynical. Like their more practiced Fox News compatriots, I have to assume these guys know what they’re doing. You don’t regularly rack up dozens of replies on Twitter if your opinions don’t resonate. But none of these commentators seem keen to offer solutions. To do so would undermine their business model, which is built on scaring people from the exurbs who make an annual trip to Primanti’s before watching the Pirates lose and heading back down the parkway.
For people who live here, though, this Monday-morning quarterbacking is at best unhelpful and at worst actively detrimental to fi ing this city’s longstanding problems, especially when it comes to racial justice.
Pretending to be a sage moderate with the city’s best interests at heart when you don’t actually live here is also galling. Much of the
rhetoric coming from this corner presupposes that Pittsburghers are somehow being held hostage by our politicians. I’ve got news for yinz: lots of Pittsburghers vote for progressives and protest against war because these are things many Pittsburgh citizens support, and not just with their votes, but with year-round activism and advocacy.
In the spirit of being solution-oriented, I have a couple suggestions for unlap, riffin, and their ilk. hile I don’t reasonably expect either to veer left politically or go hand out food to locals in need, perhaps at least readers of this opinion piece will see for themselves the gap between Pittsburgh radio grumps’ rhetoric and their actions as citizens of the region.
EXPLORE PITTSBURGH:
One has to imagine most of the yin er rage caste is more likely to frequent the orth hore than arfield or Allentown. I’d challenge anyone reading this to go on Google Maps and pick out a new neighborhood to e plore. e have , and most offer something unique that provides helpful context about the city and its history.
MOVE HERE:
It s much easier to make political change when you can, you know, vote in a jurisdiction and thus validly complain about how your tax dollars are used. Perhaps Dunlap could move to tony, safe Lawrenceville, where he could stump for Rachel Heisler and vote against Xander Orenstein instead of complaining about them from afar?
RUN FOR OFFICE:
It s even easier to make political change when you’re in the driver s seat iven that riffin already hobnobs with local lawyers, it would be especially convenient for him to learn the ins and outs of begging for donations on the y. It would also be an excellent opportunity to face real public questioning about amplifying misogyny and spreading transphobia,
and, if he won, riffin could finally sponsor a sweeping anti-poop bill ( arty s Law ) sure to benefit the Steel City for generations to come.
VOLUNTEER:
I would love nothing more than to see the people complaining about owntown spend a week or more, Undercover Boss-style, volunteering alongside mutual aid workers in a homeless encampment or shelter. In doing so, they would likely learn a lot about how people end up unhoused — and how we can better meet these Pittsburghers' complex needs.
LOG OFF:
I take this advice myself from time to time, though I’m told it’s unmanly to do things like making art instead of being terminally online. I get it; Twitter is addictive. Still, sometimes we could all do with some time in the yard instead of staying up late attempting to roast locals who are more focused on serving their communities than shrieking into a microphone.
In doing the above, maybe the yinzer ragebait crew would see what many Pittsburghers already know: the city has its warts, but it’s vibrant, far from irredeemable, and might, on a good day, measure up to some of the livability hype. People are trying new progressive and grassroots solutions here because decades of griping from on high have gotten us nowhere. I’d challenge unlap, riffin and others to actually look for data, talk to more locals with different opinions, and go into situations with a willingness to be wrong before cranking out a thinly sourced narrative that gives social media addicts a warped view of Pittsburgh society.
oreover, , of us live here. This city isn’t your playground. aybe check your weird fear of urbanity at the border if you want to spend time and money here. Otherwise, if you want to stay home, your loss — just don’t expect us to invite you back with open arms and a smiley face cookie. •
LYNN CULLEN LIVE
IN PITTSBURGH
MAYFRI.,24
FESTIVAL • NORTH SIDE
Riverlife Chalk Fest. 1-6 p.m. Continues through Sun., May 26. Isabella St. above Allegheny Landing, North Side. Free. riverlifepgh.org/chalkfest
PARTY • SOUTH PARK
South Park Party in the Park 4-8 p.m. South Park Theatre. Brownsville Rd. and Corrigan Dr., South Park. $40, free for kids 12 and under. bpcf.org/party-in-the-park
SUN., MAY 26
MARKET • LAWRENCEVILLE/ BLOOMFIELD/GARFIELD
Pittsburgh Vintage Crawl 12-6 p.m. Multiple locations. Lawrenceville, Bloomfield, and Garfield. Free. instagram.com/bohemeshops
MARKET • OAKLAND
Bad Bitch Bazaar 12-4 p.m. Craig St., Oakland. Free. instagram.com/badbitchbazaarpgh
MUSIC • SOUTH SIDE
Ghostwrite with Lylyth and LibCor 8 p.m. Doors at 7 p.m. Club Cafe. 56-58 South 12th St., South Side. $10. opusoneproductions.com
MON., MAY 27
THU., MAY 23
FILM • DOWNTOWN
Paa Joe & The Lion Gallery Talk and Film
Screening. 6 p.m. August Wilson African American Cultural Center. 980 Liberty Ave., Downtown. Tickets TBA. awaacc.org
DANCE • DOWNTOWN
Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre School Spring
Performances. 6:30 p.m. Continues through Sat., May 25. Pittsburgh Playhouse. 350 Forbes Ave., Downtown. $35. playhouse.pointpark.edu
MUSIC • WARRENDALE
Everclear 8 p.m. Doors at 6 p.m. Jergel’s Rhythm Grille. 103 Slade Ln., Warrendale. $48.75-68. druskyentertainment.com
FRI., MAY 24
BURLESQUE • ALLENTOWN
Get ready for a long weekend of bumping, grinding, shimmying, and stripping when the first-ever Keystone Burlesque and Variety Festival comes to Pittsburgh. The Storyville Lounge & Distillery will present two showcases featuring local, state, and national performers, as well as themed after-parties encouraging audiences to dress in Prohibition and Las Vegas period costumes. Don’t miss this big inaugural event hosted by the Velvet Hearts variety troupe. 7-10 p.m. Continues through Sat., May 25. 753 East Warrington Ave., Allentown. $40-280. Search “The Velvet Hearts! Red Light events & parties” on Eventbrite
FILM • OAKMONT
HOLIDAY • OAKLAND
Memorial Day Celebration. 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Soldiers & Sailors Memorial Hall & Museum. 4141 Fifth Ave., Oakland. Free. soldiersandsailorshall.org
MUSIC • LAWRENCEVILLE
Shannon and the Clams with Tropa Magica and Century III 7 p.m. Spirit. 242 51st St., Lawrenceville. $25 in advance, $30 at the door. spiritpgh.com
SAT., MAY 25
Monongahela. 8 p.m. Doors at 7 p.m. The Oaks Theater. 310 Allegheny River Blvd., Oakmont. $10. theoakstheater.com
EXHIBITION • NORTH SIDE
MAYSAT.,25
Marvel at the majesty of nature when the SkyDeck live rooftop experience returns to the National Aviary. Presented by the Pittsburgh International Airport, the show encourages visitors to watch as various birds — ranging from Lanner Falcons and Black Kites to critically endangered African Hooded Vultures — take flight and circle over Allegheny Commons Park. 12 p.m. and 3 p.m. Ongoing show. 700 Arch St., North Side. $5, $4 for members. aviary.org
PARADE
• HIGHLAND PARK
Red, Wild and Blue Day Time TBA. Pittsburgh Zoo and Aquarium. 7370 Baker St., Highland Park. Included with regular admission. pittsburghzoo.org
TUE., MAY 28
SPORTS • NORTH SHORE
Home Run for Health: 28th Annual Pittsburgh Pirates Blood Drives. 10:30 a.m.-6 p.m. Continues through Thu., May 30. PNC Park. 684 W. General Robinson St., North Shore. Free parking in Red Lot 5A for donors. Registration required. vitalant.org/pirates
MUSIC • NORTH SHORE
Knocked Loose with Show Me the Body, Loathe, and Speed 6 p.m. Stage AE. 400 N. Shore Dr., North Shore. $39.50-99. promowestlive.com
LIT/FILM • ALLENTOWN
Bottlerocket Social Hall highlights queer texts new and old with an Atomic Cinema event courtesy of Alternate Histories and White Whale Bookstore. Author Anthony Oliveira reads and discusses his new book Dayspring, which puts an LGBTQ spin on Biblical tales. In
addition, drag queen Alora Chateaux hosts a screening of late cult director Ed Wood’s Glen or Glenda, a 1953 film widely considered an early representation of the trans experience. The event is part of EdWood100, a series of events and projects created by Alternate Histories to celebrate what would have been Wood’s 100th birthday. 7:30 p.m. Doors at 5 p.m. 1226 Arlington Ave., Allentown. Free. RSVP Required. bottlerocketpgh.com
WED., MAY 29
GAME SHOW • STRIP DISTRICT
Match Gayme Pride Kick-O : Pee Wee’s Playhouse. 7:30 p.m. Doors at 6 p.m. City Winery. 1627 Smallman St., Strip District. $20-30. citywinery.com
THEATER • DOWNTOWN
Pittsburgh Public Theater presents The Co in Maker. 8 p.m. Continues through June 16. O’Reilly Theater. 621 Penn Ave., Downtown. $35-88. ppt.org
MARKET PLACE
NAME CHANGE
IN The Court of Common Pleas of Allegheny County, Pennsylvania: No. GD-24-3996
Struggling With Your Private Student Loan Payment? New relief programs can reduce your payments. Learn your options. Good credit not necessary. Call the Helpline 888-670-5631 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm Eastern) (AAN CAN)
M2M Massage by Lee Athletic shape. 24/7 • 412-628-1269
OFFICIAL ADVERTISEMENT
THE BOARD OF PUBLIC EDUCATION of the SCHOOL DISTRICT OF PITTSBURGH ADVERTISEMENT FOR BIDS
HELP WANTED MACHINE LEARNING OPS ENGINEER
Proofpoint, Inc., a leading cybersecurity company has an opening in Pittsburgh, PA: Machine Learning Ops Engineer (K172) Des,dev&deploy machine learning models. $140K-$150K; Email resume to pfptrecruitment@ proofpoint.com. Must include job title with ref job# to be considered.
ESTATE NOTICE
ESTATE OF KEENAN, EVELYN B. DECEASED OF WEXFORD, PA
Evelyn B. Keenan, deceased, of Wexford, PA. No. 022402510 of 2024. Kolleen Kuitunen, Ext. 609 Stanton Ave. P.O. Box 634, Mars, PA 16046. Or to Stephanie A. Murray, Esq. 1115 Davis Avenue, Pittsburgh, PA 15212.
Can’t Afford a
Low Cost Legal Services- Pay As You Go- As low as $750-$1500Get Legal Help Now! Call 1-844-821-8249 Mon-Fri 7am to 4pm PCT (AAN CAN) https://www.familycourtdirect. com/?network=1
ESTATE NOTICE NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN that Letters of Administration in the Estate of Matthew Sapanara a/ka Matthew Sapanara, Jr., late of Penn Hills, AlleghenyCounty, Pennsylvania, who died on December 27, 2011, have been granted to Carol Ann Sapanara, Administratrix. All persons indebted to said Estate are requested to make payment and those having claims or demands are requested to present the same without delay to:
David E. Schwager, Esquire 183 Market Street Suite 100 Kingston, PA 18704-5444
STUDY SMOKERS WANTED
The University of Pittsburgh’s Alcohol & Smoking Research Lab is looking for people to participate in a research project. You must:
• Currently smoke cigarettes
• Be 18-49 years old, in good health, and speak fluent English
• Be right handed, willing to not smoke before two sessions, and to fill out questionnaires
Earn up to $260 for participating in this study.
For more information, call (412) 407-5029
PUBLIC NOTICE
A petition for Involuntary Transfer of Ownership of a Vehicle has been filed by Golden, Lisa, Case No. GD-24-3492 for a 2012 Forest River Cherokee, Vin# 4X4TCKE27CX112438.
A hearing is scheduled on the 28th day of May, 2024, at 11:00 a.m. before the Civil Division Motions Judge of Allegheny County.
PUBLIC AUCTION
Extra Space Storage, on behalf of itself or its a iliates, Life Storage or Storage Express, will hold a public auction to sell the contents of leased spaces to satisfy Extra Space’s lien at the location indicated: 1005 E Entry Drive Pittsburgh, PA 15216 on 06/5/2024 at 11:30 AM. Justin Bush 4160. The auction will be listed and advertised on www.storagetreasures.com. Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property.
PUBLIC AUCTION
Extra Space Storage, on behalf of itself or its a iliates, Life Storage or Storage Express, will hold a public auction to sell the contents of leased spaces to satisfy Extra Space’s lien at the location indicated: 880 Saw Mill Run Blvd Pittsburgh, PA 15226, June 5, 2024, at 1:15 PM. Maggie Clemmons 1038, Paris Wright 2083, Edaisha Brooks 3101, Wayne Copeland 3206, Ed Gordon 4028, Mary Ann McHarg 4045, Chris Zimmerman 4189. The auction will be listed and advertised on www.storagetreasures.com.
Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property.
PUBLIC AUCTION
Extra Space Storage, on behalf of itself or its a iliates, Life Storage or Storage Express, will hold a public auction to sell the contents of leased spaces to satisfy Extra Space’s lien at the location indicated: 111 Hickory Grade Rd, Bridgeville, PA 15017, June 5, 2024 12:30 PM. Steven Pennell 1032. The auction will be listed and advertised on www.storagetreasures.com. Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property.
In re petition of Adam Arnold for change of name to Adam Balistreri. To all persons interested: Notice is hereby given that an order of said Court authorized the filing of said petition and fixed the 12th day of June, 2024, at 9:30 a.m., as the time and the Motions Room, City-County Building, Pittsburgh, PA, as the place for a hearing, when and where all persons may show cause, if any they have, why said name should not be changed as prayed for.
PUBLIC AUCTION
Extra Space Storage, on behalf of its a iliates, Life Storage or Storage Express, will hold a public auction to sell the contents of leased spaces to satisfy Extra Space’s Lien at the location indicated: 3200 Park Manor Blvd, Pittsburgh, PA 15205 on June 5, 2024 at 1:00pm. 1197 Kathy Edwards; 2114 Lillian Jones; 3218 Gregg Matthews; 3266 Henry Scales Jr.; 5006 Thomas Bugel; 7017 Patrick Grago. The auction will be listed and advertised on www.storagetreasures.com. purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property.
PUBLIC AUCTION
Extra Space Storage, on behalf of itself or its a iliates, Life Storage or Storage Express, will hold a public auction to sell the contents of leased spaces to satisfy Extra Space’s lien at the location indicated: 902 Brinton Road, Pittsburgh, PA 15221 on 06/05/2024 at 11:30am. Julian Nutter 1189,1118, Dominique Chrisler 2199A, Meagan Holt 3200, LeeAnn Hlavac 2002,Andre Taylor 1115. The auction will be listed and advertised on www. storagetreasures.com. Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property.
Sealed proposals shall be deposited at the Administration Building, Bellefield Entrance Lobby, 341 South Bellefield Avenue, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15213, on May 28, 2024, until 2:00 P.M., local prevailing time for:
PGH. OBAMA 6-12 (JR./SR. HIGH SCHOOL)
• Bleacher Demolition and UST Removal • General Primes
Project Manual and Drawings will be available for purchase on April 29, 2024, at Modern Reproductions (412-488-7700), 127 McKean Street, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15219 between 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. The cost of the Project Manual Documents is non-refundable. Project details and dates are described in each project manual.
We are an equal rights and opportunity school district.
PUBLIC AUCTION
Extra Space Storage, on behalf of itself or its a iliates, Life Storage or Storage Express, will hold a public auction to sell the contents of leased spaces to satisfy Extra Space’s lien at the location indicated: 6400 Hamilton Ave, Pittsburgh, PA 15206 on June 5, 2024 at 1:45 PM. 2040 Elisha Cooper, 2123 Julie Petrusak, 2139 Ronald Hudson, 5050 Shekena Thompson, L013 Taylor Earle. The auction will be listed and advertised on www. storagetreasures.com. Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property.
PUBLIC AUCTION
Extra Space Storage, on behalf of itself or its a iliates, Life Storage or Storage Express, will hold a public auction to sell the contents of leased spaces to satisfy Extra Space’s lien at the location indicated: 1212 Madison Ave, Pittsburgh, PA 15212. June 5, 2024 at 1:30 PM. Lashea Burress, 2064. The auction will be listed and advertised on www.storagetreasures.com.
Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property.
PUBLIC AUCTION Extra Space Storage, on behalf of itself or its a iliates, Life Storage or Storage Express, will hold a public auction to sell the contents of leased spaces to satisfy Extra Space’s lien at the location indicated: 141 N Braddock Ave, Pittsburgh, PA 15208 on June 5, 2024 at 11:00am. 1216A
FALSE BOTTOMS
Imitation, or a 36-/38-Across with 29-Down
18. Like the tomatoes and onions in salsa verde
19. Leafy green
20. Proverbial small town
22. French honey
24. Rapper who had the first video to have a billion views on YouTube
26. Hosp. readout
27. Poet Théophile who coined “art for art’s sake”
28. Lab ___
30. 50/50 question
31. Quite skilled
32. Stuck up (for)
36. With 38-Across, believable computercreated content intended to deceive
37. Cooks on the barbecue
38. See 36-Across
39. Sign above a fast food kiosk
41. Start a closeup shot
42. Showed again
43. Skill at chopping
44. Accepted, as a fault
47. Family
48. Jazz cornet player Adderley
49. Herbivores with horns
50. Warm beverage from a bag
52. Serve bar
53. Pick up the check
55. Imitation, or a 36-/38-Across with 37-Down
58. ___ Bon (Cinnabon secret menu item topped with crumbled cookies)
59. Thousand
60. Shopaholic’s joy
61. Al Capone’s nemesis Eliot
62. Jordan’s capital
63. Oil-rich country
DOWN
1. Corner key
2. A Gentleman in Moscow channel, for short
3. Kind of bagel
4. You might rock the cradle with one
5. Remove, as expenses
6. Doing perfectly
7. Imitation, or a 36-/38-Across with 33-Down
8. A, as for Aimee
9. Some streaming shows
10. Cross the line
11. Maker of the Road Runner and RoadBlasters video games
12. “I’m crapping you negative”
13. Scowl-like look 21. Muscle targeted in a reverse fly
23. Go for game 24. Home to Hiëronymus Bosch’s “The Garden of Earthly Delights”
25. Passover feast
27. Satire or whodunit, e.g. 29. GI doctor’s procedure to test digestive tract problems
30. Pine (for) 32. Bread maker’s need 33. Speedo, jocularly
34. Japanese dog with a short double coat
35. Religious principle
37. Meat served at a December holiday dinner
40. Mulligan
41. Catch one’s breath
43. Litter box user
44. WWE star Randy
45. “___ Is My Mind?” (Pixies song)
46. Poker pair nicknamed “Wayne Gretzky”
47. Eucalyptus eater
50. Captain’s place
51. Canadian petrol company
54. Grand Canyon area
56. In the style of
57. They go on two feet