Currents Magazine Spring 2022: Moments by PGM-PepperdineGraphicMedia

SPRING 2022

Currents Moments

VOL. CXVIII

SPRING 2022

VOL. CXVIII

Letter from the Editor A presentation that Sonya Singh gave to Pepperdine Graphic Media in Fall 2021 inspired the theme of this edition of Currents. Singh, a professional photographer and professor at California Baptist University, showed her images to the group and spoke about each moment. From there, the idea of moments has captivated my attention.

I find that moments are the structure of our lives, and each moment tells a piece of the story. In my own life, I can pinpoint the moments that have shaped who I am. Included in these moments are the first time I published an article, when my mom came to visit me as a surprise at a swim meet and when my fiancè proposed to me. These moments mean more to me than just a byline in the newspaper or a diamond ring on my finger. They define my life and demonstrate the growth I have experienced — growth in my academics, my relationships and my self-identity. Each moment builds up the definition of who I am. Each moment defines the roles I take on in my life — Christian, woman, journalist, swimmer, sister, daughter, fiancée. They define my identity. As the pages of this magazine illustrate, moments can range from hopeful to devastating, and in some cases, individuals choose to forgo some moments to prioritize others. The following pages are filled with moments that have shaped individuals in the Pepperdine community. These stories shed a larger light on the little moments, moments that strengthen identity, moments that bring us closer to one another and moments that highlight camaraderie and competition in athletics. Each moment in this magazine gives a glimpse of who these individuals are. I hope you will enjoy reading about these moments and invite you to reflect on the moments that have shaped you.

Staff and Contributors

Marley Penagos Assistant Editor

Emily Shaw Assistant Editor

Ali Levens Creative Director

Caroline Conder Photo Editor

Joe Allgood Production Assistant I

Samantha Torre Production Assistant II

Lydia duPerier Design Assistant

Aaron Yang Design Assistant

Whitney Powell Staff Artist

Adviser Christina Littlefield, Journalism and Religion Professor

Contributors Ryan Bresingham Annabelle Childers Graeson Claunch

Ella Coates Emma Ibarra Anezka Liskova Alec Matulka

Ashley Mowreader Addison Whiten Abby Wilt Sawa Yamakawa

Table of Contents 06

Poem

Snapshots

The Little Moments Cooker Storm

Profile Katy Flinn

‘Is This a Picture or a Video?’

Profile Morena Gonzales -Yap

‘It’s a Human Right’

Snapshots

20 24 25

Summits Mount Kilimanjaro How Moments Create the Movie of Relationships is Motivated by Matcha

Education Transforms Lives Paige Tattersall

Competition and Connection

Moments in Sports

Snapshots

Myles Dennis

Profile Ethan Suh

Runs on to the Pepperdine Baseball Team

Fill in the Blank

Profile Ashtyn Adams

Weathering the Storm

‘Stealing Time’

Finding Hope in Every Moment Profile Sharon Wakio

45 46 52

How People Heal Their Missing Moments Transforms an Expectation Into a Passion Navigating Moments of Change How Still Photos Move Hearts

Advocates for International Students

Local Community Members Offer Explorations of Their Faith Journeys in Identity Moments of Self Discovery

Profile Randal Beeman

Snapshots

Profile Jayda Kechour

Love Brings Him out of the Dark Jillian Moran

Where It All Ve-Gan

Art

Jayda Kechour for Creation Kind

The Little Humans tend to focus on the big moments. As emotional and important as those moments can be, it is the imperceptibly small moments that make life worth living.

By Marley Penagos and Ryan Bresingham

A streak of lightning flashes across black sky, a moment already passed, so fleeting, like dying stars blinking back to sleep when the sun yawns awake. As brief as a beat of a butterfly’s wing. Hands brushing, grabbing too-close-together cups of coffee. Eyes locking, across a crowded room. The gentle sway of daffodils from spring’s first breath. A sweet exchange of words with a soon-to-be friend. An onset of pouring rain 06

makes an otherwise uninspiring day unforgettable.

Moments Photo by Caroline Conder | Currents staff asked students on campus to anonymously share their most important little moments on sticky notes. The students’ experiences vary from moments of loss to lucky Tinder swipes.

Lives changed in just a moment. In the same way that a few drops of cool water are heaven when you’re thirsty. The smell of morning dew, golden light spilling past open window blinds, the beauty of birdsong, your fingers grazing over worlds sprawled across page after page, chapter after chapter. You come to realize that you too, are a story. So insignificant, it seems — but momentous all the less. It is these moments that make life worth living.

Snapshots

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In that moment I was diagnosed, it was like watching your barn get burnt down, and it doesn’t feel good in that moment. But now knowing Tess, I feel like God rolled out the red carpet for me. Like somehow I was chosen for this, not that this tragedy happened to me. Now I can see the moon, and I’m like why did I ever even have the barn. I was given the gift of seeing the moon. Cooker Storm

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Research by Ella Coates Photo by Caroline Conder

Although she initially felt broken when she was pregnant and her unborn daughter was diagnosed with Down syndrome, Sports Medicine Professor Cooker Storm now celebrates her daughter for who she is. She compared her experience to a Japanese haiku by Mizuta Masahide that says “Barn’s burnt down, now I can see the moon.”

Flinn Summits Mount Kilimanjaro

Photo by Caroline Conder

By Annabelle Childers

or Resident Director Katy Flinn, summiting Mount Kilimanjaro was not the pinnacle moment she expected. “You see everybody’s mountaintop experiences, you see their summit picture and you’re like, ‘Wow, that’s so cool, it’ll be so exciting and so fulfilling and so fun,’” Flinn said. “And in a way it was those things, but nobody prepared me for how miserable summit day was going to be.” Flinn started her physical journey to the tallest peak in Africa on Nov. 20, 2021, but her dream to complete the Tanzanian trek began in 2012 on a family trip to Mount Rainier in Washington. Midway through her time pursuing a bachelor’s degree in Journalism from Samford University near Birmingham, Alabama, she went with her family to see the Washington scenery. While they were visiting, she said she saw people climbing down. “I realized, people do that, they summit mountains, and I could do that too,” Flinn said. The idea took a permanent place on

Flinn’s bucket list. No stranger to goals, Flinn was already trying to visit all the national parks in the United States. Today, she’s at 46 out of 63. Following that moment at Rainier, Flinn completed her degree at Samford, earned a master’s degree in Higher Education and Student Affairs from Baylor University, and led gap-semester programs for recent high school graduates in East Africa, Southeast Asia and Costa Rica. In East Africa, Flinn said she remembers being close to Mount Kilimanjaro, and trying and failing to convince her program to summit it together. At Pepperdine, she met Brynn Barton, a 2021 Caruso Law alumna, and the two became friends over a shared love of hiking to the cross at Pepperdine and experiencing the outdoors. Barton now lives in Accra, Ghana, where she works as a legal fellow with the Sudreau Global Justice Institute. Flinn planned on visiting Barton in Ghana over Thanksgiving break 2021, but when her airline ticket fell through, Barton pitched another idea: Mount Kilimanjaro. Flinn said Barton suggested they

meet up in Tanzania and make the climb. On the trip, the two befriended a brother and sister from Germany. Flinn said it was one of the best experiences, crossing cultures and making new friends as they completed a oncein-a-lifetime experience. Together, they reached a height of 19,341 feet and covered a distance of 12.9 miles over a span of six days. On day No. 5, they woke up at 11 p.m. to start their summit-day hike at midnight. While most of the Mount Kilimanjaro climb is pleasant, Flinn said the summit portion is extremely cold and windy. It was then that Flinn said she became sick from the altitude, ultimately having to stop multiple times to throw up before she could keep going. Still, even with altitude sickness and fatigue, Flinn said the summit was special. It was the moment that years of dreaming and days of striving came to fruition. “When we saw the summit sign, I just started weeping, and I don’t think I stopped weeping for like an hour after that,” Flinn said. “Because it was just so exciting to have reached the goal, and to have worked so hard to get there, and that dream moment coming true.”

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When we saw the summit sign, I just started weeping, and I don’t think I stopped weeping for like an hour after that. Katy Flinn

‘Is This a Picture or a Video?’ How Moments Create the Movie of Relationships

Relationships are made up of individual moments that have the power to define them. A single moment could mean the difference between a lifelong relationship or a broken one.

Photo courtesy of Josh Leow | Sophomore Annie and senior Josh Leow, siblings from Memphis, Tennessee, joyfully engaged in conversation during Humanities Professor Michael Gose’s Great Books class. They said the class is their favorite because it allows for open discussion.

By Lydia duPerier

rom the beginning of life to death and every moment in between, people’s lives are a string of relationships and connections. Within every relationship — couples, friendships, families, enemies — there are good and bad moments that have the power to define and develop the relationship. Relationship IQ Director Kelly Haer said life is lived in little moments like holding a car door for someone, asking someone how their day is going or responding with kindness instead of blame in a moment of tension. “Relationships are made up of a million different small moments that create an overarching tone, feel or vibe in the relationship of care, love, consideration, harmony or not,” Haer said. Haer has been the director of the Relationship IQ program at Pepperdine since 2017 and recently became the executive director for the Boone Center for the Family in 2021. Haer said she has a passion for guiding students through their relationships. “It’s really fun to help students think through relationships and equip them to make healthy choices and to have skills to be able to walk through relationships well and confidently,” Haer said. The three most important elements of all relationships are being available, responsive and engaged with each other, Haer said, something she learned from Psychologist Sue Johnson. “Patterns of asking the person how they’re doing or asking questions out of curiosity to get to know them and really listening and really caring about their response,” Haer said. “Being interested in the response can make a big difference in defining the overall quality or tone of the relationship.” Moments in family

Annie Leow, sophomore Economics major, and Josh Leow, senior

Religion major, both on the premed track, said they would describe their sibling relationship as incredibly strong, but only as of recently. Being only two years apart, they said they would bicker about things when they were younger, like who got somewhere first or who received what. The first moment that their relationship grew closer was when they took a trip to Taiwan without their parents in Summer 2018. Annie Leow said they learned how to look after each other, which sparked the bond they have now. Being responsible for each other was the first step. Josh Leow said attending college together has helped them mature and appreciate spending time with each other more. “I just try to pass along all my experiences and lessons that I’ve learned so that she doesn’t have to make the same mistakes I did,” Josh Leow said. “I provide support.” Spending time and attending classes together has been a highlight of both their careers at Pepperdine.

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I just try to pass along all my experiences and lessons that I’ve learned so that she doesn’t have to make the same mistakes I did. Josh Leow

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Photo courtesy of Josh Leow | Annie and Josh Leow conversed outside during a Great Books class in November 2021. They said they enjoy taking the same class because it allows them to have a shared experience.

“I ride his coattails of everything he’s done because we’re both premed, so I usually just listen to everything he’s done and learn from it,” Annie Leow said. One particular class they said they’ve enjoyed taking together is Great Books with Humanities Professor Michael Gose. Annie Leow said she and her brother enjoy the way the class allows for open discussion. “The class that we’re in is very discussion-based,” Annie Leow said. “So we’re kind of able to bring in our childhoods and how we grew up together.” The most important moments in their relationship, they said, are the times they can just be together. “Last semester, I was supposed to go abroad to Heidelberg,” Annie Leow said. “And then part of the reason I didn’t go abroad was so that we’d have another semester on campus, and it’s been super fun. I don’t regret it at all.”

value, and if people disrespect it, then that’s just automatically like a red flag,” Guieb said. “When it comes to my family, I feel like I have such big family values and the one thing that I preach all the time is ‘family, family, family,’ and like if you know that I’m preaching it so much then why are you going to blatantly just disrespect it?”

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Moments in friendships

ing her and also seeing her as my best friend now,” Guieb said. “So yeah, I think it’s just family values because I think that eventually, everybody can have a certain person, even if they are not related, who can become your family. And that’s the way that my family sees Lilly as of right now.” Guieb said the contrast between how Stotz treats her and the way her previous friend treated her is huge. She described her experience as eye-opening. “I realized that when I thought this other person was there for me, she wasn’t, and she wasn’t intentional with anything she did,” Guieb said. “She didn’t think about the aftermath of what was going to happen after she said or did anything. So it made me realize that Lilly does that and that that’s a true friend.” In her experience as a therapist, Haer said it is common for moments of personal struggle to grow relationships. “In moments where someone is in personal pain, they’re being vulnerable,” Haer said. “They’re sharing about their hurt, and the other person moves toward them with care to join them in that moment.” When Guieb realized she needed to cut ties with her previous friend, Guieb said Stotz was there to offer comfort and support.

I think that moments in a relationship, the most memorable ones, are the times that you are enjoying yourself and that you do have a good connection and you establish a good feeling with it. Kylie Girl Guieb

Junior Journalism major Kylie Girl Guieb said whenever she thinks of moments in friendships, she prefers to think of the positive times. “I think that moments in a relationship, the most memorable ones, are the times that you are enjoying yourself and that you do have a good connection and you establish a good feeling with it,” Guieb said. However, Guieb said in her experience, not all friendships are healthy. Guieb faced a broken friendship at the beginning of her junior year when a three-year-long friendship began to fall apart. Guieb said she had seen problems in their relationship through the years but the tipping point was when she felt like her friend disrespected her family. “When it comes to the things that I

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Guieb’s former friend declined to comment. Although that friendship ended, Guieb said it made her relationship with others stronger — specifically her friendship with junior Psychology major Lilly Stotz. “Lilly, for one, has the same family values that I do, so I think that was also a big factor to me when befriend-

Moments in relationships

romantic

Erin Carroll, academic support coordinator for Athletics, and Paul Carroll, associate head coach for the men’s volleyball team, have been together for 14 years. While they both graduated from Pepperdine in 2009 and both played sports (Erin Carroll a member of the women’s soccer team and Paul Carroll a member of the men’s volleyball team), they said they weren’t friends until their junior year.

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I feel really respected in the relationship, always. And I always respect his opinion about anything else, and I respect everything he brings to the table intellect-wise. Erin Carroll

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“We kept finding ourselves at the cafeteria at the same time — the good ol’ Caf,” Erin Carroll said. As college students, they said they didn’t have much money, so most of their “dates” were grabbing lunch in the Caf. Their first official date was a night out for sushi. “I remember taking you [Erin Carroll] to sushi in Santa Monica, and we ordered the Kobe beef, but I didn’t know what Kobe beef was,” Paul Carroll said. “It was like $40, and so I thought it was gonna be huge for 40 bucks but then it was like these two tiny pieces of meat, and I was like ‘Oh, what is this?’ But that was the first memorable, fancy date we went on.” Paul and Erin Carroll married in 2014 and have two children — a 4-year-old, Flynn, and a 6-year-old, Nolan. The couple is expecting their

Photo by Caroline Conder | Paul and Erin Carroll (‘09) posed outside Firestone Fieldhouse where they both work for the Athletics Department. They said some of their favorite moments are when they eat lunch together on the tables outside of Firestone Fieldhouse.

third child in May. Erin Carroll said having kids can make going out for date nights difficult, so they often find little moments alone together. Their favorite thing is to eat lunch together on the tables outside of Firestone Fieldhouse. In addition to spending time together, they both said they value respect and communication in their relationship. “I feel really respected in the relationship, always,” Erin Carroll said. “And I always respect his opinion about anything else, and I respect everything he brings to the table intellect-wise.” Paul and Erin Carroll said their relationship is built on the foundation of understanding, respecting and loving each other through every moment of their relationship.

Haer compares the moments of relationships to images and videos. “Stop and ask yourself, ‘Is this a picture or a video?’ In other words, you know, a picture would represent one moment, and a video would represent many moments over and over again,” Haer said. “And so, lots of moments, lots of pictures, create the video or the movie of the relationship — they create the story.” Haer said every moment strung together has the power to define a relationship. “The story is not defined by one still shot or one screen, but moments become the many, many screens that create the movie of the relationship that really tells the story,” Haer said.

Motivated By Matcha

Photo by Caroline Conder

By Emma Ibarra

hen now senior Morena Gonzales-Yap entered her third college, she was afraid of starting something that she would never finish. Gonzales-Yap debated whether or not to go to the business law class she had been dreading since she tried to restart her academic journey multiple times before. She made her decision when she realized she had already ordered a matcha latte to drink during class, so she decided to go. That day of class inspired her to pursue a future in law, changing the trajectory of her life completely. “It was never about the latte,” Gonzales-Yap said. “At the center of this moment was my deep desire to finish what I started. The latte was just an excuse to get me there.” Before transferring to Pepperdine in Fall 2018, Gonzales-Yap took a rather non-traditional academic path. The Long Beach-born undergraduate had struggled with finding a sense of community in college. She initially began her collegiate journey at San Diego State University, and then transferred to the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, and then to Long Beach City College

(LBCC). Gonzales-Yap said she was hesitant about returning to school after she took a leave of absence between colleges, and felt discouraged. “I decided that school was not for me — so I stopped trying,” Gonzales-Yap said. Despite her lack of motivation to start again, Gonzales-Yap said she loved law even before going into her business law class, thanks to the film “Legally Blonde.” The law courses she took at LBCC confirmed that she had an aptitude for the subject. After two years of taking classes at LBCC, Gonzales-Yap graduated with an associate’s degree and transferred to Pepperdine as a Business Administration major. She later changed to Political Science. Although excited to start at Pepperdine, Gonzales-Yap said she couldn’t help feeling an immediate sense of imposter syndrome and displacement. She faced major culture shock moving from one of the most diverse cities in the nation, according to the Long Beach Post, to the predominantly white, affluent city of Malibu, according to World Population Review. She decided to take a semester off from school out of consideration for her mental health. During Gonzales-Yap’s second

semester of in-person instruction, COVID-19 forced Pepperdine to conduct classes remotely. Despite virtual learning, she said she found her footing at Pepperdine and clicked with classmates from her first semester. Now in-person, Gonzales-Yap said she tries to keep herself involved with the community on campus. As a social butterfly, Gonzales-Yap befriends people just about everywhere, whether that means talking to someone new while in line for Starbucks, or sparking conversation on the shuttle up to her apartment. The senior said her most treasured Pepperdine pastime is walking around the Stotsenberg Track. Taking a chance, she said she reached out to a group of students she had met individually and brought them all together to walk the track and mingle. Together, they circled the track 15 or so times and played basketball throughout the night, laughing and telling stories that would transform Gonzales-Yap’s impression of Pepperdine. “It’s like everything clicked all at once,” Gonzales-Yap said. “I was finally in the right place with the right people.”

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It was never about the latte. At the center of this moment was my deep desire to finish what I started. Morena Gonzales-Yap 15

‘It’s a Human Right’

Education Transforms Lives

Five Pepperdine community members explore both nontraditional and traditional forms of education, and why lifelong learning is important.

Art by Whitney Powell | Powell sketched math symbols representing the pursuit of education. Some people, such as Pepperdine alumna Emily Willis (‘21), chose a nontraditional path for their education.

By Addison Whiten

hen considering important moments in education, many people think of graduations, aced midterms or college acceptances. For some, however, the most important educational milestones are nontraditional, or part of their calling. Education takes many forms and means different things to different people, but plays an important role in everyone’s lives. “There’s so many different kinds of education,” Pepperdine alumna Emily Willis said. “Like the Taekwondo education that I’ve gotten in the past year or two, that are just as important at teaching you incredibly essential life skills that will form you and shape who you are for the rest of your life.” More than education

one

kind

After graduating from Pepperdine in 2021 with degrees in Computer Science and Mathematics, Willis said she enrolled in a graduate program at Rice University in Houston, where she studied electrical and computer engineering. “I’ve always been very passionate about education, and I’ve always had this kind of insatiable love for learning,” Willis said. Willis said she studied artificial intelligence at Pepperdine and saw how it can be used to help people in healthcare, leading her to start graduate school with the hope of one day researching AI and how it can benefit the healthcare industry. However, after one semester at Rice, she decided to leave the program. “Through it all, I was miserable,” Willis said. “I wasn’t doing something I was passionate about. What brought me to Rice was my passion for helping people, and I think in the bigger picture I wasn’t helping people in the way I wanted.” During her remote senior year at Pepperdine, Willis rediscovered an old passion: Taekwondo. She said she stud-

ied Taekwondo as a child and had to stop just before receiving her black belt. “I enrolled at 21, and I finished my black belt,” Willis said. “So I’m really glad I did that because it obviously happened for a reason.” When she left Rice, Willis said she decided to consider jobs using her specialized martial arts background and found the perfect opportunity at a Taekwondo school, working with their sales and marketing team. Learning a skill like Taekwondo is not ‘education’ in the most traditional sense, but Willis said she’s learned just as much from her athletic pursuits as her schooling. “It’s a physical sport, so it’ll teach you physical fitness and everything, but the other things you gain from it, like confidence, self discipline, structure, all of those things, those are invaluable life skills,” Willis said. “I already had them kind of instilled in me as a child, but going back into it as an adult has been really, really fruitful and a really formative experience for me.” She said she plans to use both her traditional and athletic education in her career moving forward. “Who knows?” Willis said. “Maybe one day I’ll have a Taekwondo school of my own.” While Willis’ nontraditional education has become her career, for firstyear Nutritional Science major Gabe Kong, his nonacademic learning is simply part of who he is. Kong has played the violin since he was 4 and said learning the instrument taught him many important life skills, such as quick thinking, social skills and how to overcome nerves and perform. “Music has changed my life in so many ways,” Kong said. Playing the violin has also given Kong opportunities to travel, make friends and perform for audiences around the world. He said the experiences he’s had and his music’s ability to affect someone is what makes his talent so meaningful. “It’s not just about the music for me, it’s more about what I can accomplish through it,” Kong said. While his musical education has

been crucial, Kong also said he is deeply invested in his academic education. He’s a premed student and hopes to work in oncology, as he wants to help others and believes that becoming a doctor who focuses on cancer patients is the way to do it. “It’s really tough so far to be on the premed track, but to me it’s worth it,” Kong said. In high school, Kong said he always saw academic education as a means of getting into medical school and becoming a doctor. After almost a year at Pepperdine, however, he’s learned that education is more than just a GPA. “I actually want to learn, and I’m taking these classes to learn and not just for a grade,” Kong said. Education as a passion English Professor Maire Mullins said she sees the value of education in how it empowers students to understand different discourses in the world and to handle future challenges in their lives and in society. “Having a good solid education, I think, provides you with the foundation to be able to navigate those things in the coming decades,” Mullins said. Mullins said she sees a change in students from their first year to graduation, which she credited to Pepperdine’s mission to educate through a Christian lens. She believes this is possible because of the university’s amazing faculty at Pepperdine. “We put students first,” Mullins said. “We care very deeply about our students and about nurturing that connectedness to our students. I see the way my colleagues do that every day and how much they care about their students, and it’s very striking.” Adriana Baez, senior Liberal Arts for Education major invests in education both as a student and a future teacher. Baez said she discovered her passion for teaching while working with elementary school students in an after-school program at her local YMCA. “I just fell in love with working with them, and it didn’t even feel like work,”

Baez said. “It was almost like I spoke their language.” Baez is obtaining her teaching credential at Pepperdine. She said she’s currently doing her student teaching with a first-grade class, a task she said she feels capable of taking on. “When I realized that this was my calling, I think I was like, ‘OK, it’s going to be work, but work worth doing and work that is needed,’” Baez said. In addition to her calling as a teacher, Baez is a first-generation college student. She said being the first person in her family to attend college has taught her independence and made her resilient. “It means a lot to me to be first gen, and it’s not the easiest journey ever and every first-gen story is different,” Baez said. “We add a lot to the community, and we bring a lot to the table.” Baez is the education preparation student liaison to the California Commission on Teacher Credentialing, a role only one student in the state holds at a time, and she is the first Pepperdine student to ever do so. In this role, she serves as a representative for teacher education programs and their students. She said her love for education is rooted both in her background and her passion for teaching. “Realizing the value of having an education, I think, is something a lot of first gens can resonate with and that’s definitely what made me want one,” Baez said. Gina Duhovic, junior Liberal Arts for Education major is also a future teacher. In fact, she founded the Future Teachers Club at Pepperdine in Fall 2021 and

said she serves as the club’s president. “It’s just here to unite future teachers and create a sense of community in our program because I feel like everybody knows of each other, but we don’t really get the chance to connect that often,” Duhovic said.

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and so excited. And since then, I’ve just had more experiences like that when I go in for my hours.” Experiences she had with education as a child made Duhovic passionate about supporting the next generation of students as they learn and grow. She said she wants to teach first or second grade to help students as they learn their most foundational skills, such as reading and writing. “When I was younger, I wasn’t the best reader,” Duhovic said. “I think that affected me even in high school. So I think helping them understand reading and writing and things like that, from the beginning, will help them out in their future academic career.” While the academic side of education is important, Duhovic said it is just as important to be aware of who students are as people. “Knowing the person they are will help you look at their academics,” Duhovic said. “Knowing their home life might also help you out with things like, ‘Why didn’t they do their homework yesterday?’ or ‘Why are they sleepy in class today?’” Willis, Kong, Baez and Duhovic said education is very important in their lives and continues to shape them. For Baez, education’s power makes it something she is willing to fight for. “It’s a human right,” Baez said. “And no matter who you are, no matter the color of your skin, what religion you are, what you ate for breakfast, I think you deserve the right to be educated if you so choose.”

I actually want to learn, and I’m taking these classes to learn and not just for a grade. Gabe Kong

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Duhovic is also a student teacher this semester, and said she experienced a milestone moment on the first day of her position when she helped a student who was struggling with a math problem. “I walked him through it, and then he was able to do the next problem correctly,” Duhovic said. “I was so happy

Paige Tattersall, a junior Liberal Arts for Education major, is a member of the Pepperdine Women’s Swim and Dive Team. Tattersall said she felt a moment of acceptance after a coaching change and bonding with the women who chose to stay on the team.

Snapshots

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Having those two friends of mine that were freshmen, that I didn’t really connect with, but now I’m super close with — that is what I was looking for. I wanted everybody to feel the way they do to me: Make me feel so happy and that I can go for everything. That is what a team is supposed to do and give off.

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Paige Tattersall

Research by Ella Coates Photo by Caroline Conder

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Photo courtesy of Sarah Otteman | Austin Wilmot, an American Studies graduate student and middle blocker for the Pepperdine Men’s Volleyball team, celebrated with his team after a kill against California State Northridge on March 16 in Firestone Fieldhouse.

Competition and Connection

Moments in Sports

The world of athletics is full of moments of high-stakes competition, hardship, camaraderie and more. Five athletes describe how the moments they experienced in sports shaped their lives. By Joe Allgood

n Spring 2010, Pepperdine Sports Psychologist Alex Cushing and his University of California, Berkeley Men’s Swim and Dive teammates fell 31.5 points short of a national championship, losing to the University of Texas at Austin. In 2011, Cushing and the Golden Bears came back, and beat the Longhorns to the championship by 22.5 points. Both moments are memorable to Cushing, for different reasons. The Golden Bears’ victory was made up of more than just the final moment. While moments like a championship win play out in the presence of a cheering crowd, many more take place off the court or field, shaping athletes and sometimes leaving a greater impact than any big win. Whatever the sport, athletes have common moments that unite them all. “Swimming is a delayed gratification sport. You train year-round, there’s no offseason for really probably just three big meets a year,” Cushing said. “But that’s what I still miss about the sport. I don’t miss all the practices, getting in

early, jumping in the pool at 5:30 in the morning. The competition is what I live for and getting to spend, as a collegiate athlete, five hours a day working out, quote unquote ‘suffering,’ with some of your best friends.” Moments of competition Moments of competition are the most visible aspect of athletics, which makes up the core of being an athlete, Cushing said. “The competition is what brings them [athletes] together,” Cushing said. “Practices can be fun, waking up early can be OK, you know, pushing yourself to the limit can be OK, but we sacrifice and put ourselves, you know, through stressful environments, so we can compete at a high level.” Cushing recalled all the hours of preparation he went through as a collegiate swimmer and connected it to his field of sports psychology. One method of navigating through competition is the Yerkes-Dodson Model, Cushing said. The model graphs the relationship of stress and performance, which Cushing said is integral to how a player performs in

those moments of competition. “If you are too hyped up, too energetic, too anxious, performance decreases,” Cushing said. “If you’re not hyped up enough you’re not going to perform as well as possible.” Athletes spoke to this relationship and how they handle competition. “I know when I get out there on the court and compete, I’ll be ready, and then also having the mindset of being a dawg,” said Isabel Montoya, a sophomore Sport Administration major and point guard on the women’s basketball team. For Montoya, she said it takes a little aggression to be competitive on the court. “You have to be a dawg on the court and be rude,” Montoya said. “In that confidence, have a little bit of arrogance because if you don’t believe in you, nobody else is going to.” Each individual handles competition differently, and for some, it may have been an uncomfortable adjustment at first. Shiori Fukuda, studying for her master’s degree in Global Business at Graziadio and women’s tennis player, learned a competitive attitude at an early age from one of her first coaches. “Everything he did didn’t make any sense to me because I was so young, and I didn’t even understand,” Fukuda said. “These little, really small things, but also really important, and as I got older, I really realized that ‘Wow, if he wasn’t my first coach, then I wouldn’t be where I am today.’” Fukuda clinched the quarterfinals victory for women’s tennis against University of California, Los Angeles in 2021, a moment of competition that she said she’ll never forget. For others, the challenges of competition become overwhelming as in the case of Jacob Windham, a senior Political Science major who walked away from running cross country after his

first year at Pepperdine. “It was always like, a very weird juxtaposition of like, a great emotion, followed by like, a downward emotion,” Windham said. “I would say where it’s like, ‘OK, I did it, like, all this training paid off,’ but then it’s like well you know, I run again next weekend, and like you got to do it again, and you gotta, you know, you can’t just get comfortable.”

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gled with ACL and shoulder injuries throughout her high school and college career, described the drive that kept her going in those moments. “The driving factor is one, I believe in myself, and I know what I can do, and two, is you have someone who believes in you,” Montoya said. “The worst thing you can do is disappoint them. For me, it’s just proving people right. I don’t care about the naysayers and the people who say I can’t do it, I care about the small amount of people that say I can.” Montoya said giving up would be like a “slap in the face” to those who believed in her. “Almost all athletes are very, very resilient and have strong perseverance, and they’ll get through it,” Cushing said. “But it just depends on what that road looks like.” In these moments of hardship, Cushing said an athlete needs a healthy balance of both mental and physical well-being, as well as having people around them who they can lean on.

You have to be a dawg on the court and be rude. In that confidence, have a little bit of arrogance because if you don’t believe in you, nobody else is going to. Isabel Montoya

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Moments of hardship

For Windham, one of those moments of hardship was deciding whether to continue running as he had for years. Windham said he had to weigh the pros and cons of the sport. “I had accomplished what I set out to do with the sport, which was to go [Division I] in college,” Windham said. “I wasn’t gonna go to the Olympics, or anything, so I just kind of respectfully walked away from it after I finished out that last year.” For some, periods of struggle can be much longer. Montoya, who strug-

Moments of camaraderie

At the end of the day, the competition is important, but there are a lot more elements to sports. For instance, there is a massive community of fellow athletes, coaches, trainers and staff, family and friends who support an athlete. It’s in this community that the heart of sport lies. “They [athletes] remember the good competitions, and it’s always fun in the moment to perform well,” Cushing said. “But also being surrounded by teammates, and really what athletes remember are the times in the locker room, the times on the road trips, like that camaraderie, so to speak.” When a team is able to build a strong bond in those moments, they can become a family, Montoya said. “I think it’s super beautiful when

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These little, really small things, but also really important, and as I got older, I really realized that ‘Wow, if he wasn’t my first coach, then I wouldn’t be where I am today.’ Shiori Fukada

Photo by Caroline Conder | Shiori Fukuda, a student studying for her master’s degree in Global Business at Graziadio and women’s tennis player, sat on a wall outside of Firestone Fieldhouse. Fukuda clinched the winning point for Pepperdine in the 2021 quarterfinals, landing her at the bottom of a celebratory team dog-pile. you can have two-in-one, when your teammates do become your family,” Montoya said. “And then you start to play for each other, and then the game means more than just a game.” Connection extends beyond players to all the people that build a team, especially the coaches, said Austin Wilmot, an American Studies graduate student and middle blocker for the men’s volleyball team. “It’s just definitely coaches, in particular, that you know, have a ton of volleyball IQ,” Wilmot said. “And know a ton about the sport, and the ones

that you could tell really care about your progression through the sport and really care about your journey and what you can accomplish. I think those coaches, by far, stand out to me.” Wilmot said he loves to see his team enter a “flow state,” where they are able to play as if it’s effortless. He also said it helps him sync up when his teammates to his left and right are 6 feet 9 inches. Wilmot himself is 6 feet 10 inches. All the athletes, no matter the sport, said they valued the camaraderie highly, if not above all else. It goes to show, the heart of sport does not necessarily

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lie in the moments of competition, but moments of connection. In the end, Cushing said the moments that athletes cultivate will continue to reward them throughout their lives. “It really is a full-time job,” Cushing said. “The next stage of their life they’re going to have the opportunity to excel in another career that sometimes just won’t be athletics, but it’s still an opportunity for them to use the characteristics that they have learned and implemented as elite athletes.”

Snapshots

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And I was like, ‘You know what?’ I picked Computer Science so I can have a job and I graduated and I was like, ‘No one’s gonna give me a job if I can’t do the freshmen classes.’ I’m just gonna do what I love anyway. As soon as I switched over, everything just lined up. Myles Dennis

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Myles Dennis, a junior Screen Arts major, started at Pepperdine as a Computer Science major. He said he decided to change majors after he took a nine-hour final exam over Zoom. Research and photo by Caroline Conder

Ethan Suh Runs on to the Pepperdine Baseball Team

Photo courtesy of Pepperdine Athletics

By Alec Matulka

eople often associate the word ‘walk’ with ease. But for walk-on athlete Ethan Suh, the process of joining the Pepperdine Baseball Team was anything but a walk in the park. “The amount of times that I failed and didn’t stay down, I got right back up and tried again, that was a big deal for me,” said Suh, a senior Integrated Marketing Communication major. Growing up in Ridgewood, New Jersey, Suh’s family is made up of diehard Yankees fans. Suh played baseball consistently in his youth and won numerous tournaments with his Little League team. But Suh said he thought his baseball journey would end when he came to Pepperdine in Fall 2018. Suh decided to come to Pepperdine without a baseball offer to follow his dream of moving to the West Coast. Suh said he realized midsemester how hard it was to step away from the game. “I’m walking to classes and seeing the baseball field every day,” Suh said.

“And I was like, ‘This is too hard, I’m just going to go for it.’” Suh said walking into Head Coach Rick Hirtensteiner’s office for the first time was one of the most intimidating moments of his life. After Suh introduced himself and requested a tryout with the team, Hirtensteiner told him they were too close to the upcoming season, and to come back next season. Although Suh said he felt positive about how tryouts went the next fall, Hirtensteiner told him he hadn’t seen enough from him to offer him a spot on the team. “At this point, I’ve had two daggers in my chest,” Suh said. “My confidence really went down the drain, but I told myself, ‘Hey, you can’t give up now, right?’” Suh said he petitioned Hirtensteiner for another chance, which translated into a 13-day trial period with the team. On the first day of the trial, Suh said he showed up wearing his hometown team’s jersey and a pair of shorts. It was obvious to everyone who was on the team and who was still try-

ing out. Despite the difference in appearances, Suh said he played some of the best baseball of his life during that tryout period. But Suh’s talent on the field wasn’t the only thing the coaching staff and players noticed. Since he had class right before the team practiced, Suh said he would run down Lower Dorm Road toward the baseball field, in full view of the team. “[Coach Hirtensteiner] would always see me sprinting down from my class,” Suh said. “He would tell the other people on the team, ‘That’s what you should be doing. That kid wants to be out here everyday.’” At the end of the 13 days came the moment he had waited for: his own locker and a Pepperdine jersey. “It felt surreal,” Suh said. “It felt that much better because of the amount of hard work that I’d put into it. I’m a very goal-oriented person, so once I set my mind on something, I’m going to work hard for it no matter what.”

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I’m walking to classes and seeing the baseball field every day, and I was like, ‘This is too hard, I’m just going to go for it.’ Ethan Suh 25

Fill in the Blank

How People Heal Their Missing Moments

While the moments one has lived define them, the moments a person misses or chooses to forfeit can be just as powerful. Three Seaver students shared stories of moments they missed and what it means to find closure.

Photo courtesy of Mahala Bayless | Bayless’ grandparents kissed her on the cheek on their Eustace, Texas, ranch after she committed to Pepperdine in Spring 2018. Bayless chose to stay home with her grandparents during the Spring 2021 track season instead of competing.

By Ashley Mowreader

here are some moments in life one can’t replicate. A baby’s first steps. An accident. A couple saying their wedding vows. A friend’s last breath. Life is full of these moments — moments that shape a person’s experience and trajectory, that should bookend what it means to be alive. But sometimes, those moments are missing. Three Seaver students shared moments of life they missed and how they moved forward, filling in the blanks with something other than memories. “Just knowing that like, things don’t always work out as you expect them to or as you envisioned, but they’re usually working out in a way that’s greater, greater for the overall goal, the journey,” said Mahala Bayless, senior Integrated Marketing Communication major. “That once you start to step back and you get a little view of what’s been falling into place, you can start to really appreciate the things that didn’t work out.” Moments missed Bayless started at Pepperdine in Fall 2018, excited to finally attend the school her grandma had always told her about, she said. Bayless’ expectations for her four years would quickly shift away from the picture-perfect narrative her grandmother painted. As a sprinter on the women’s track team, Bayless competed only one season with Pepperdine — Spring 2019. Spring 2020 was cut due to COVID-19 and Spring 2021 she encountered a choice: stay home in Mabank, Texas, or return to Malibu and maybe run — if COVID-19 didn’t cancel the season. She chose to stay. First-year J. Doe — who is anonymous due to privacy relating to their gender identity — came to understand their identity during their junior year of high school. Starting in Fall 2020, they began introducing themselves as nonbinary, using the pronouns they/them. Doe said they slowly began to come

out to their friends but didn’t choose to share with everyone — mostly because they didn’t have to. “I just like, didn’t talk about it with coworkers,” Doe said, about staying closeted during their summer fastfood job. “It’s not a big deal, I’m here for three months, serving food to people that will never see me again, so it doesn’t really matter all that much.” They didn’t come out to their parents either. Doe said their father went through their phone at one point and stumbled across a text message exchange in which Doe revealed they were bisexual, and that was enough for Doe’s father to never look through their phone again. Doe still hasn’t talked to their parents about their sexuality or gender identity. For now, they have chosen not to have that moment. “There’s just — it’s a lot of these little moments,” Doe said, about their relationship with their parents. “I wish I could sit down with them and be like, ‘Hey, this is what you need to know about me, like I wish I didn’t I feel like I had to keep this from you.’” But when it came to Pepperdine, Doe said they knew it would have to be different — they would have to come out to everyone, all the time. These were people they would know for four years, there was no getting around it. Their biggest concern: Finding the right moment. “I think I struggle with creating those moments where I’m like, taking a second to introduce that because it doesn’t feel natural,” Doe said. “How do I bring this up, without it being inorganic, or weird, or horrible or like I’m expecting something of them?” Junior Sports Medicine major Jasmine Williams came to Pepperdine as a swimmer on the women’s swim and dive team. Her family had always been supportive of her swimming career, Williams said. While she wanted to swim in college, she didn’t do much when it came to recruiting or getting offers from schools — that was something she left to her dad, because he had always been her biggest fan.

“ ” Growth can be found in what was lost. How I will find that, I don’t know. But I know it’s there. Jasmine Williams

Photo courtesy of Jasmine Williams | Williams, a junior Sports Medicine major, posed with her father, Forrest Williams Jr., at an awards ceremony in Northern California. Williams said he was always her biggest fan in the pool. “Once I got to college, like, I really thanked him a lot, because I don’t think I could be where I am without him and like, his support,” Williams said. “I’m normally swimming for myself, but I’m also swimming for [my parents].” Williams and the Pepperdine Women’s Swim Team had runner-up finishes at the Pacific Coast Swim and Dive Conference Championships in 2020 and 2021. Williams posted collegiate bests in both backstroke events in 2021, and was on an upward trajectory to have a great 2022 conference meet. Through the fall, Williams and the team worked even harder to take the title. But a few days before they left, Williams got a call she wasn’t expecting. Her dad had died, and she had to choose: Go home to Sacramento, or go to the meet in Utah. She drove north.

Moving forward Bayless said she never regretted staying home. Going to college in

Malibu, she sacrificed precious time with her maternal grandparents and choosing to stay home allowed her to get that time back. Her grandfather died in November 2020 and her grandmother almost exactly a year later, November 2021. “I realized that, even though I had been gone and I hadn’t been able to hang out with my friends and I hadn’t been running track, I got, you know, those months of my life with him that I would have never had otherwise,” Bayless said. “And like that is much more important to me than anything else because that’s irreplaceable — the moments we have, you know, living and loving what’s in front of us.” Doe said coming out has gotten easier. On their first day of sociology class in Elkins fall semester, their professor asked students to sit on one side of the room if they were a man or a woman. Doe chose to sit on the floor in the aisle. “That was the first time I can re-

member where I was in a position where I have to label myself in front of a whole group of people,” Doe said. “I didn’t have the opportunity to do something different.” Looking back, Doe said it was their favorite memory from the class. “Because it was like, this is one of those little ways of coming out to people that I do have the opportunity to have,” Doe said. “I am in control of the situation, I get to decide how this works.” Pepperdine Swim and Dive won the PCSC Championship this spring, the first time in program history. While Williams wasn’t physically there, she said her team did everything they could to make sure she was included — from writing her name on their arms to calling her in between races so she could hype them up before getting in the water. Williams said it was this familial feeling and her team’s support that made missing this moment easier. “I think the biggest decision in staying home was knowing that my team would be OK without me,” Williams said. “Knowing that, even though I’m not there, my presence is still felt and their presence is still felt with me.” Williams said she finds hope in having next year to compete and knowing her team and family will be there to support her. “A lack of a moment, I think there will be growth to be found,” Williams said. “Growth can be found in what was lost. How I will find that, I don’t know. But I know it’s there.” Williams said she plans to continue swimming — both for herself and for her family. “[My dad] always said, ‘You have so much that’s coming your way,’” Williams said. “And I know that, sadly, he won’t be here to see it. But I can still feel his presence with me. And I’m just like, OK, eventually, that moment will come that he was talking about and I just want to get there.”

The Transition from an Expectation to a Passion

Photo by Caroline Conder

By Anezka Liskova

fter undergoing brain surgery at 14 years old, senior Ashtyn Adlams thought she wanted to go into medicine and become a doctor. While studying abroad in London during Summer 2019, Adams spoke with Rick Marrs, a Religion professor, former provost and chief academic officer at Pepperdine. Marrs complimented her academic work, but his compliments weren’t directed toward her medical studies. “He pulled me aside one day and told me that he thought that I really had a gift for religion,” Adams said. After that moment, Adams realized she wanted to pursue religion more, which made her declare a minor in the field. Adams grew up in a Southern Baptist Church called Clovis Hills in Fresno, California, which she said was very conservative and expected church members to follow a rigid set of beliefs. Adams found a completely opposite ex-

perience while learning about religion at Pepperdine. “By studying religion, it was a space where you can ask all the hard, scary and fiery questions,” Adams said. “I just really learned how wrong I was about so many things. I loved what I was studying.” Adams finished all of her Religion minor classes during her sophomore year. “I was just like, distraught,” Adams said. This was the moment Adams decided to change her major from Sports Medicine to Religion. Even though Adams was now pursuing something she was passionate about, she said she still had plans to go to school to become a physician assistant. “I was just blind to what I really wanted to do,” Adams said. “I was just still holding on to that, the idea I had of myself and the expectations other people had of me.” This year, Adams became a spiritual life advisor. During the SLA training retreat, speaker Janna Allen Hines talked

about living into one’s calling and what that looks like, Adams said. “I just realized how much of a hypocrite I was,” Adams said. “I mean, I was an SLA, I was someone that people were supposed to be turning to for guidance. And I was not listening to the call that I felt.” Adams spoke to Hines at the end of the retreat. This was another moment that pushed her toward religion. During that conversation, Adams said she realized the hard work she was doing for her science classes didn’t rejuvenate her like the work she did for her religion classes. Adams said this clarified what she really enjoys doing. “We were talking about how in my religion classes, even though I have to study for hours and hours, it doesn’t feel like work,” Adams said. “Then the speaker told me, ‘You know, it doesn’t have to be this hard. God speaks to us through the things that we enjoy and through our passions.’”

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By studying religion, it was a space where you can ask all the hard, scary and fiery questions. Ashtyn Adams 29

Weathering the Storm

Navigating Moments of Change

Moments can often change the way a person walks through life. Five individuals shared the moments that changed their lives and why they were impactful to them.

Photo courtesy of Emma Lake | First-year Biology major Emma Lake underwent hip surgery in December 2021, where screws were placed in her hip to help with her hip dysplasia. She will have to schedule another operation to have the screws removed.

By Emily Morton

ife-changing moments force or allow individuals to take on new roles or new perspectives

in life. Such moments may include transitions from a child to a parent or a grandparent, athletic career-ending injuries or life-shortening illnesses. “I’ve spent a lifetime weathering storms and then just going forward and being as resilient as I could possibly be,” Sport Administration Professor Ned Colletti said. Five individuals shared the experiences that changed their life, and the feelings that accompanied each moment. Roles shape life Individuals at Pepperdine reflected on how certain moments have

changed their perspective due to a shift in their role in life. “By definition, a role requires a whole new set of identities and behaviors, that’s what a role is, you know, child is a role. Parent is a role, you know. Adult is a role,” Sociology Professor Robin Perrin said. “And so, by definition, a role means there are behavioral expectations associated with that role.” Colletti has seen his familial roles shift. As his parents aged, he lost his father, and his own children grew up, who had children of their own. His full name, Ned Colletti Jr., holds strong family ties for him. Colletti passed down the family name to his son. He said he named Ned Colletti III after his father, who was battling lung cancer at the time. “I named my son after my dad, not after me,” Colletti said. Colletti said his father felt the

name was a great honor, while he understood he wouldn’t get to watch his grandson grow up. Colletti’s father died at the age of 51, around five months into his grandson’s life. Colletti was there to hold his father’s hand as he took his last breath. He said the moment was very impactful to him. Other moments Colletti said he remembers are the night his daughter became engaged and when each of his children were married. “I was tearful at both my daughter and my son’s weddings, tears of joy and blessings,” Colletti said. Colletti said he cries easily because of the blessings in his life. He said he remembers the time he found out his daughter was pregnant, shifting into the role of grandfather. “I asked her if she wanted me to get her a beer, you know, she said ‘No, it’s OK,’” Colletti said. “I didn’t

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I named my son after my dad, not after me. Ned Colletti Jr.

Photo courtesy of Ned Colletti | Coletti, a Sport Administration professor, grew up in the suburbs of Chicago close to the Midway airport. Here, his parents, Ned Colletti Sr. and Delores Colletti, posed for a picture.

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I love diving with all my heart, and like, even two days before my surgery [I] went and I dove for like the last time because I wanted to. Emma Lake

Photo courtesy of Emma Lake | Lake, a first-year Biology major, smiled before her most recent hip surgery. After the surgery, Lake used crutches to assist her for a total of 114 days. think twice about it. And then about 10 days later, we’re all together on Father’s Day. And my Father’s Day gift was a picture of the ultrasound of our first grandchild.” Colletti’s son was married later and decided to keep the gender of his child a surprise. After the baby arrived, Colletti and his wife went to the hospital excited to meet the new addition to the family. They did not know the gender of the baby — they were only told that the new parents loved the name they had picked. “So we went down to the hospital, and I met Ned Lewis Colletti the fourth,” Colletti said. He noted this is one of the key life-changing moments in his life. “It’s just stunning to me,” Colletti said. Shifting gears after an injury For two Pepperdine students, hip injuries ended their athletic journeys before they arrived to campus. First-year Biology major Emma Lake spent 114 days walking

on crutches. “I counted because crutches are not fun for that long,” she said. Lake underwent hip dysplasia surgery Dec. 2, 2021 and spent the next four months using crutches as an aid to walk. The surgery ended her diving career. “[It] means that my hip sockets are too shallow,” Lake said. “And because of that, it results in constant like, partial dislocations of my hip, which was super painful.” The December surgery was her third. In her junior year of high school in Fall 2019, Lake sat out dive season to have surgery on her hip to try and correct the pain. “And then after the first [surgery], I came out and I was like, 10 times worse,” Lake said. “And I was like, ‘This is terrible.’ And I had to then have another one to try to fix the first [surgery] and I came out even worse. And it was just very frustrating.” After receiving a second opinion from another doctor, Lake was correctly diagnosed with hip dysplasia and scheduled the final surgery.

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“I do remember waking up after and being like, ‘Oh my gosh, I’m done, like I’m finally done,’” Lake said. Lake said she was happy to know she was on the way to being painfree but said she still had a hard time with the recovery process. “I knew it was gonna be hard, but I didn’t really know how hard it was gonna be,” Lake said. “Like I did all the research, I talked to people who had it, I did everything I could to be prepared, but nothing could have prepared me for how much my life was going to be changed for those few months.” Lake said she lost all independence while recovering from her surgery. She said she had to ask for help with simple tasks, as small as asking someone to help put a blanket over her legs. She had planned on using a wheelchair to shorten her recovery time. “That was like the plan, but you quickly realize that it’s physically impossible to get around this campus in a wheelchair,” Lake said. “Like, it’s hands down impossible, like, there’s

possible to get around this campus in a wheelchair,” Lake said. “Like, it’s hands down impossible, like, there’s no way you can do it.” In mid-March, Lake had her first two full days walking. She said she started to feel an absence of pain while she was walking. “And even with things like driving, I just thought driving was terrible for everyone,” Lake said. “Like I just thought it hurt for everyone and then being able to drive again after surgery, I was like, ‘This isn’t supposed to hurt. It feels great.’”

Pepperdine’s Women’s Swim and Dive team originally recruited Lake to campus. She said it was hard feeling like the surgeries were all for nothing because she had to walk away from the sport. “I love diving with all my heart, and like, even two days before my surgery [I] went and I dove for like the last time because I wanted to,” Lake said. “I should be able to do it again at some point, but it’ll be like a year.” Junior Economics major Emma Rydholm also had a career-ending

hip surgery. Rydholm had dreamed of playing soccer in the Southeastern Conference (SEC). Rydholm had top school choices of University of Alabama, University of Arkansas and University of Georgia. “My freshman year of high school, I was always a really high-level soccer player and, like, that was my entire life,” Rydholm said. When Rydholm played at a recruiting camp she felt pain in her hips so intense she couldn’t sit up. Rydholm had an MRI when she returned home and learned that she

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I think my whole family and I have a perspective on what matters most in life and things to actually let yourself get upset about. Emma Rydholm

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Photo courtesy of Emma Rydholm | Rydholm (left), her brother, Spencer, and her sister, Madeline, posed for family photos. After Spencer’s cancer diagnosis, the Rydholm siblings wanted to ensure they had a set of recent family photos.

had completely torn through the labrum in both of her hips. Doctors recommended surgery to stitch the labrum back together, and Rydholm accepted, eager to return to a high level of playing. “It was the most miserable thing ever because I wasn’t just getting back to being a student, just doing normal activities,” Rydholm said. “I was getting back to being a high-level athlete, and being able to do what teammates who haven’t had two surgeries are doing.” As she was no longer able to keep up with her teammates, Rydholm decided to quit soccer. “It was awful,” Rydholm said.

brother went into remission. September 2022 will mark his fifth year of being cancer free.

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“My dad, he was living vicariously through me, I guess,” Hanzlik-Green said. “And just kind of like, reminiscing on like, memories that we had is like doing that stuff.” While he was still alive, Hanzlik-Green said his father emphasized how much he was proud of him for going out and partaking in his hobbies. “I have been trying to kind of find inspiration in [my dad’s hobbies] to do whatever, do everything that I want to do to like, the best I can,” Hanzlik-Green said. After his father died in January 2021, Hanzlik-Green said he was even more determined to spend his free time doing the activities his father loved. As a member of the Pepperdine Men’s Volleyball team, Hanzlik-Green has a packed schedule. When he isn’t practicing or working on school, he takes the time to hike and be outdoors in the Malibu area. While everyone indicated the challenges they faced helped them grow as people and shift their mindsets, it doesn’t mean their paths weren’t bumpy. “My mom called me to tell me that my dad had lung cancer and changed everything upside down,” Colletti said. “A lot of blessings developed out of it. But not without a couple years of real — real — soul searching and real sadness in a very short period of time.”

I have been trying to kind of find inspiration in [my dad’s hobbies] to do whatever, do everything that I want to do to like, the best I can. Keeton Hanzlik-Green

Illness changes perspective For Rydholm and others at Pepperdine, cancer has changed how they live their life. Rydholm said soccer and her surgeries aren’t the only moments in her life when she experienced a great change. During her junior year of high school, her brother, Spencer Rydholm, was diagnosed with testicular cancer. Rydholm found out through a family group text. Her brother’s diagnosis, similar to her own surgery, gave her a new perspective on life. “But definitely, like, I think my whole family and I have a perspective on what matters most in life and things to actually let yourself get upset about,” Rydholm said. Rydholm’s brother underwent multiple operations as the cancer spread. Rydholm said everything that possibly could have gone wrong, did. After a final surgery to dissect all of the tumor markers, Rydholm’s

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First-year Psychology major Keeton Hanzlik-Green’s father, Alex Green, was diagnosed with cancer the spring of Hanzlik-Green’s junior year in high school. He said it changed a lot of the ways he went about his life. “I was kind of just focused on school and volleyball,” Hanzlik-Green said. “And I had kind of moved away from doing all the things that I used to do as a kid. But when that happened, it kind of made me take a lot more time to like, do things for myself, I guess. And like, try to be a kid again.” Over a roughly seven-month period, Hanzlik-Green started to get back to climbing, biking and hiking — three of his dad’s hobbies. He said he would go out and visit his father in the hospital to tell him about the activities he had done.

Photo courtesy of Matthew Benton | A fan in the crowd at Lollapalooza in Buenos Aires, Argentina, teared up while watching the band Mumford & Sons perform live in March 2016. Benton said he looks to capture the relationship between an artist and their audience when photographing live music events.

‘Stealing Time’

How Still Photos Move Hearts

In an increasingly visual world, people often share their lives with one another through photos. Four photographers reflected on how they fell in love with the medium as a way to express themselves, capture memories and evoke emotion.

By Emily Shaw

or Matthew Benton, music photographer and director, the feeling he has when looking at a photo he has taken of an artist goes beyond the single moment it captures. The 2018 alumnus said he not only pays attention to the lighting and the composition, but while editing the photos, he also listens to the artist’s music, inspiring his work to capture the emotions the artist conveys. “For me, live music photography is about capturing the relationship of an artist to their music, to their audience, to kind of the creativity that goes on behind the scenes,” Benton said. Photography serves multiple purposes — it is art, as well as a way to express oneself, collect memories, document important moments, connect people with others and evoke emotion. Four photographers shared how they fell in love with photography and discussed their connection with the medium.

the same staircase throughout the years, showing their growth. Before the digital age became more prominent, Zielinski learned to develop film. She said the behindthe-scenes moments of seeing photos develop were important to her, and she appreciated the physicality of the whole process, smelling the chemistry that takes place and holding the image in her hand. “I was walking into the darkroom and actually developing my own film and printing it all and seeing the magic of the chemistry right in front of my eyes,” Zielinski said.

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Falling in love

photography after going to concerts and seeing professional photographers there. “I always would see these photographers who were literally like, some of the largest photographers in their respective music genre,” Benton said. “I would see them and I’m like, ‘That’s really interesting, that’s really cool how they get to experience basically any angle, any part of the concert and capture that story.’ So I always wanted to do that.” Through advice from other music photographers, Benton said he learned pretty quickly how to approach the profession. “What really interests me is how can I use my access to find something really unique and capture a better story than just, like, the front of the face of a singer with a mic,” Benton said. Similar to Benton, alumna Jaylene Ramli (2021) said her first camera was also disposable. Ramli does portrait, wedding and proposal photography, and also works as a middle school math teacher. “I think I’ve always kind of had a love for collecting moments and collecting memories and saving them, and I think photography was kind of that way for me,” Ramli said. When 2018 alumna Claire Fagin was 8, she had an underwater camera she used to take photos in the pool on summer nights. “My mom was like, ‘Here, take this indestructible camera,’ like ‘OK, let’s go in the pool!’” Fagin said. Fagin said she is now a floral installation artist and photographer, working with still life and organic matter.

For me, live music photography is about capturing the relationship of an artist to their music, to their audience, to kind of the creativity that goes on behind the scenes. Matthew Benton

Amy Zielinski, a photographer and photo editor for a major photo archival site, taught photojournalism at Pepperdine during the Fall 2020 semester. Zielinski has traveled around the world, documenting music and culture. “I just love that feeling of stealing time,” Zielinski said. “And making that moment in time last longer than reality, and I love that stealing — that and transferring our memories into something that lasts longer.” Zielinski said one of the first experiences she had with photography was when her mom took photos of Zielinski, her siblings and cousins on

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Benton’s fascination with photography also began at a young age when he took photos of family hikes and his stuffed animals using disposable cameras. Benton said his father grew up taking and developing photos, and he still has the prints from when his father was in his 20s. Transitioning to college, Benton said he took an interest in music

If photos could talk While photographing classical

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It’s a good way for me to sort of just be in my own world and be able to create in my own world. And that’s always more of like a healing process for me. Claire Fagin

Photo courtesy of Claire Fagin | In July 2021, Fagin took a photo of a floral installation she made into a smiling face. Fagin said she enjoys creating art that makes people happy. musicians, Zielinski said she became curious about whether she could capture the music through an image. “I was very much interested in how to portray the musician,” Zielinski said. “What were they feeling? How did they look at that moment, and the passion that they had as they were playing their instrument?” Zielinski said she then began a more than decade-long project photographing only the hands of classical musicians to see if she could capture their personality. She has yet to showcase this portfolio, but found

that the COVID-19 pandemic has added another layer of meaning to her work. “I do find now the way I look at hands is very different since we haven’t been able to touch each other for a long time,” Zielinski said. “So I think that whole body of work is going to have a different interpretation.” For Ramli, photography connects her with others and allows her to get to know people better. “I love being with people, and so when you photograph people, you get to be a part of their story, you get

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to hear their story,” Ramli said. Ramli said she especially loves capturing the little “in-between” moments when photographing people. “The extra, little bonus nuggets are my favorite because, one, like I was saying, it kind of shows personality and more of who they are, and it’s different than what I always have to be getting,” Ramli said. During the pandemic, Fagin said she mainly took photos of flowers, sometimes creating her own floral installations as her subject. She started by going to the flower market,

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I love being with people, and so when you photograph people, you get to be a part of their story, you get to hear their story. Jaylene Ramli

Photo courtesy of Jaylene Ramli | In June 2020, Micah Pletz (‘20) proposed to Marissa Shahani (‘19) at the Sunset Cliffs Natural Park in San Diego, and Ramli captured the moment between the Pepperdine alumni. Ramli said this was a fullcircle moment because Ramli did a photo shoot with Pletz and Shahani in 2018 when they were dating. photographing the flowers she got and also doing some photo work for florists. Fagin enjoys taking photos of people, but she appreciates how she can be in the zone when working with inanimate objects such as flowers. “I guess it’s a good way for me to sort of just be in my own world and be able to create in my own world,” Fagin said. “And that’s always more of like a healing process for me.” In her art, Fagin said she is working on surrendering to things she can’t control, such

as having a photo not come out the way she imagines it but still appreciating it. “I’m accepting that I’m powerless in many situations in my life,” Fagin said. “And as someone who would just absolutely prefer to control everything, that’s difficult, but in my art, in my personal life, I just have to accept powerlessness and just work with what I have and try and love what comes out from that.” Emotions Fagin often wants to portray through her photos are authenticity, nostalgia and happiness, and she said she usually channels this through the use of color or a grainy look. “I think something I love about

flowers and that I strive for personally, just as a person, is authenticity,” Fagin said. “Like a flower is just what it is, and it’s not trying to be anything else.” When Zielinski looks through the camera, she looks for that right moment. “I think I’m looking for a level of drama and emotion at that moment,” Zielinski said. “Something that sets it apart from the mundane of everyday life.” One photo Zielinski said she remembers was of former President Barack Obama in November 2008. Zielinski was working in the newsroom waiting for the pictures of Obama to come in. The photo, taken by Joe Raedle, is of Obama shedding tears after mentioning his grandmother Madelyn Dunham, who had died that morning. “I was so moved to tears at that moment and everybody else in the

room, the CEO was there, like waiting to see what happens,” Zielinski said. “And, you know, you felt that moment of collaboration, of helping to get those pictures out on that very special day.” Zielinski said she feels very fortunate to have played a role in editing memorable moments in history that the photographers she’s worked with have caught. “Photos benchmark things, and when it comes to photojournalism, it reflects our world literally, showing history as it’s taking place,” Zielinski said. Being in the moment Capturing moments on a camera, however, can be overdone, Ramli said. “I think it’s an awesome way to capture moments, but use it with caution, like, don’t overdo it because

then you lose the meaning of it,” Ramli said. “Like the way that a lot of things are, you know, if you overdo something, sometimes you will lose the true meaning of it.” Similarly, Fagin said she has also thought more about times when she should put the camera down and be present. “As much as it’s like an instinct for me to capture a moment through photography, I do think there’s something to be said for sitting and soaking in a moment like through your eyes and through your brain,” Fagin said. There is a distinction between taking a photo of a moment and being in the moment, Fagin said. “I think in some ways, photography’s allowed me to be there in the moment, but almost be an observer of the moment,” Fagin said.

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I think I’m looking for a level of drama and emotion at that moment. Something that sets it apart from the mundane of everyday life. Amy Zielinski

Photo courtesy of Amy Zielinski | Zielinski captured conductor Marin Alsop in rehearsal with the São Paulo Symphony Orchestra at the Royal Albert Hall before the Last Night of the Proms in September 2013. Zielinski said she is proud of this photo because of who Alsop is as an accomplished conductor, being the first woman to conduct The Last Night of the Proms.

Photo and art by Whitney Powell | Powell illustrated first-year Sports Medicine major Everett Baker’s hope to go abroad by drawing him in Quito, the capital of Ecuador. Baker plans to study in Buenos Aires next year.

Finding Hope in Every Moment Hope can be a feeling or an experience, or maybe even a concept some people avoid out of fear of disappointment. Many students said hope gives them a strong foundation to ground themselves in, whether they have hope in their faith or hope in particular moments. 42

By Abby Wilt

ope. A term people use lightly but feel deeply. Moments of hope can be significant, life-changing events or even just simple smiles from strangers. Pepperdine students said they define hope with words like optimism, faith, joy and aspiration. “When I think of hope, I always think of my faith,” said Parker Waters, senior Psychology major and a nondenominational Christian. “Our hope in Jesus — that’s always kind of where I’ve put my hope and found the most secure hope.” Hope can be a feeling, an experience or a moment. Four Pepperdine students said they all experience hope in different ways. Still, some students said they avoid getting their hopes up for fear of being disappointed. Experiencing hope Hope is something that can shape one’s outlook on life. Some people are just naturally referred to as “hopeful” or “optimistic” people, Sociology Professor Charles Hall said. “It’s not just a concept,” Hall said. “It’s a feeling.” Hope can be thought of intellectually, but if it is not something that is felt as an emotion, it will not make as big an impact on your life, Hall said. “You have to feel hope,” Hall said. “You have to really be hopeful, and it’s been hard to do that.” When external, out-of-control circumstances are happening around an individual, Hall said it is important to look for hope in the chaos. For example, the Russia-Ukraine war doesn’t seem to bring any hope. But, amid that conflict, he has heard hopeful stories of Ukrainian people bonding more than ever before. “Sometimes we’re in the middle of a crisis like that, or even if it’s a personal crisis, and the only thing we have is hope,” Hall said. Madi Billingsley, first-year International Studies major and a member of the Church of Christ, said she experi-

enced the most life-changing moments of hope in her life when she served Syrian refugees. She saw women who had lost their homes alongside their friends and family members, but they still had hope. “I saw people give their lives to Jesus and had more joy and life with the most tragic circumstances than anyone I knew back home,” Billingsley said. Some students referred to hope as something that keeps them optimistic or “looking forward” through any circumstance. For Billingsley, hope gives her life and the ability to push forward past any moment. “Hope is belief in a greater good often while in the midst of pain or suffering,” Billingsley said. Waters thinks of hope as more of an orientation to root and ground herself in, rather than belief in a preferred outcome. When she puts her hope into circumstances, grades or relationships, Waters said she is often let down, but when she puts her hope in her faith, she knows she has a solid foundation to lean on in the good and the bad. “I’ve tried to put my hope in things of the world, but it just kind of failed,” Waters said. “I feel like Jesus — when I think of the word hope — is where my brain goes.” When he was younger, Hall said he too would put his hope into grades — something he sees his students doing now. But Hall learned to not put his hope in things that won’t matter as much in the future. Hope in specific moments Everett Baker, first-year Sports Medicine major and nondenominational Christian, said he can place his hope in specific moments he looks forward to. “Any new experience for me is something that brings me hope,” Baker said. Baker said he often hopes to accomplish an achievement, meet a new friend or travel to a new destination. “Studying abroad is something that’s brought me a lot of hope because it’s going to bring a bunch of new experiences,” Baker said. “I’m going to get to

explore so much, and it’ll be something that I haven’t done much of.” Baker plans to go to Pepperdine’s International Program in Buenos Aires next academic year. Rebekah Coles, first-year Political Science major and nondenominational Christian, said she finds hope when plans work out — especially plans she is nervous about. Coles applied to be a spiritual life advisor for the upcoming academic year and felt hopeful about her chances. “I felt more confident in my application that hope grew in me,” Coles said. “I ended up getting the position, and it was such a moment of pure joy.” The downside of hope

When reflecting on his life thus far, Baker said he found moments of hope in looking forward to getting his driver’s license or going to college. While these events were exciting, Baker tries to not put too much hope into those upcoming circumstances because he doesn’t know when they will get canceled. “I set my expectations super low so that my expectations are exceeded,” Baker said. Baker said he doesn’t always think the worst is going to happen, but he doesn’t get his hopes up for particular moments. “I just find when my expectations are set at that low bar, then I’m happily surprised every time, and it lets me be in a more joyful mood,” Baker said. Waters said the same thing — she used to put her hope in upcoming circumstances, but after COVID-19 canceled those plans, she decided to stop putting her hope in events. “I found a lot of my hope in my work — like in school and being here [at Pepperdine],” Waters said. “But I feel like spending a year away from campus taught me the most I could have ever learned.” Waters said she is learning to get excited about upcoming moments again — namely traveling abroad — without putting her hope in these moments. While Baker said it was OK to be

“ ” I feel like Jesus — when I think of the word hope — is where my brain goes. Parker Waters

Photo by Caroline Conder | Senior Psychology major Parker Waters smiled sitting outside on Pepperdine’s main campus. Waters said she uses her hope in faith and Jesus to get through tough circumstances. cautious with hopeful thinking, he said he also pushes himself to be optimistic about upcoming moments. “I think it definitely can be misconstrued because so many people feel like hope is a bad thing,” Baker said. “It can bring disappointment if you put hope in something that doesn’t follow through, so I think that definitely gives people a bad view of hope and makes it so that they’re less likely to put hope in anything.” Hope in Christ Coles, like many students, said she views hope as part of her Christian faith. “Hope means trusting in my desires that the Lord will provide the outcome that is the best for me,” Coles said. When something doesn’t go the way she planned, Cole said she trusts in the hope that God has a better plan for her. “It is important to remember that having hope in wanting an outcome is not a guarantee,” Coles said. “It just gets

us excited to see what will happen. So being able to find pure joy — regardless of where your hope leads — is definitely something I recommend.” While circumstances can be upsetting, disappointing or feel like they are life-changing, hope can be a concept that keeps individuals optimistic and looking forward to what is to come. Billingsley said when she stays rooted in her hope, she can believe everything else will work out. “Hope isn’t just a feeling of wishing things would change,” Billingsley said. “My hope comes directly from the personhood of Jesus and the fact that his promises are never empty words.” Baker said he will continue to look forward to the little moments of hope in his life — all while keeping his hope grounded in his faith. “We have so many things to put hope in,” Baker said. “If you put hope in something, it can bring great benefits.”

Sharon Wakio Advocates for International Students

Photo by Caroline Conder

By Sawa Yamakawa

aving served multiple roles in the Pepperdine community, Sharon Wakio said supporting international students is one of her biggest passions. Wakio, the assistant director of Residence Life for International Students, said this passion of hers began when she earned a scholarship as an undergraduate student working at Boise State University’s International Student Services Office. “It took off from there,” Wakio said. “Everything I’ve done since then in the U.S. has involved international students in one way or another.” Wakio said she never imagined herself working in higher education when she first arrived in the United States from Kenya in 2006. In fact, Wakio said she considered flying back home to Kenya during her junior year at Boise State. “As an international student, you know how difficult some seasons can be,” Wakio said. “I was like, ‘I’m done, I’m leaving.’” During such hardships, Wakio said

the international community and her mentors helped her to persevere. “I had really good, solid friends and support system who reminded me of how far I’ve come,” Wakio said. Wakio said it was one of her international friends who brought up the idea of Wakio studying at Pepperdine for her master’s degree. Initially, Wakio said she was hesitant to apply to Pepperdine because of its price tag and prestige. Her friends, however, insisted she apply. “In that process, I was like, ‘Please God wherever you need me to go, I’ll go,’” Wakio said. She saw her prayers answered; Wakio found herself in Malibu at the Graduate School of Education and Psychology in 2013. Due to financial circumstances, Wakio said she took a slow and steady approach to her master’s degree in Psychology. To alleviate financial hardships, Wakio took six units at a time while receiving scholarships and working part-time. Wakio took five years to complete a program the school designed to be completed in two. She said the

unhasty approach, however, turned out to be the best choice for her. “It worked out because if I hadn’t stayed that long, I wouldn’t have met people who are significant in my life here at Pepperdine,” Wakio said. She first started at Pepperdine working for Athletics, supporting international student-athletes with their transition to the U.S. Currently, Wakio supports all international students by programming events with various departments on campus. “Some of the bravest and courageous people I know are international students,” Wakio said. For Wakio, international students are an important part of Pepperdine’s community. Wakio credits international students for bringing diversity into the classrooms and increasing the quality of education for all. “We’re able to come here into a melting pot of such richness in culture, personality and perspective, and I think we sharpen each other in that way,” Wakio said. Just as she never expected to stay in the U.S. for 15 years, Wakio said she looks forward to seeing where God takes her next. “Where I get my sense of direction is through my spiritual journey and understanding what God has for me,” Wakio said.

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In that process, I was like, ‘Please God wherever you need me to go, I’ll go.’ Sharon Wakio

Art by Whitney Powell | Powell illustrated a woman emerging from the Pacific Ocean near Santa Monica to symbolize renewal and the new beginning that can come with baptism, when the old self is washed away.

Community Members Offer Explorations of Their Faith Questions of faith may take a lifetime to answer. Members of the local community shared their experiences of faith — both when it was affirmed, and when they had to walk away. By Samantha Torre Some people seek faith and ponder its meaning in their daily life, others wonder what, if any, tradition is right for them. These questions and more confront members of the wider Pepperdine community as they interact with the world. For some, these questions bring them closer to their religion, for others, it leads them to walk away. “I know that whatever belief comes out on top, I will be that much more cemented in,” junior Philosophy major Dahn Hugh said. “Because think about it, I’ll have studied all those

different ideologies, I’ll have found what I actually believe in, right, like this is something that I went out and found for myself.” Faith for oneself Though he grew up Presbyterian, Hugh does not associate with any religion. Hugh said he had an aversion to the religion because he felt his parents imposed it on him, and he wanted to explore other faiths and experience different tenets of wisdom for himself. “I’m one of those types of people who wants to read the Quran, I want to read the Torah,” Hugh said.

‘I want to go out and research teachings of Confucius and Buddhism and Islam, and I want to be exposed to those teachings. I think we have a responsibility as people.” Religion Professor Dyron Daughrity said a common problem with religious polls are the “nones,” people who mark themselves as not having a faith because they do not see themselves in any of the poll options offered. People who mark “none” may be extremely spiritual, but they may not resonate with the organized religions offered, or know the specifics about their denomination. Almost a third of adults in the United States do not identify with any religious identity, according to a December 2021 Pew Research Center poll. “It [can be] the opposite of atheist,” Daughrity said. “It could be someone very interested in faith.” College-aged respondents are more likely to mark “none” than older generations, Daughrity said, as people move from strict organized categories to nondenominational places of worship. While Hugh said he does not subscribe to a particular organized religion, he does believe in a higher power. Hugh explained the difference between himself and a computer — for Hugh, while both he and the computer are made of the basic building blocks of matter, there is a reason he is alive while the computer isn’t. Hugh said he knows there is a possibility he won’t find a belief system that is perfect for him — this journey is a continuous search. “I think there is a higher power, that’s not what I’m trying to figure out,” Hugh said. “I’m trying to figure out the way I should go about it.”

Baptism at the Brock House Penelope Soler-Sheffield, firstyear Computer Science major, said she grew up Roman Catholic but moved away from her faith in high school. While her mother was Catholic, Soler-Sheffield said her father was Baptist. Presently, many of the churches Soler-Sheffield attends are nondenominational evangelical churches. While she attended Catholic school, Soler-Sheffield said her father would teach her and her siblings about the Baptist faith. As she attended Catholic services, Soler-Sheffield said it felt more like a routine than an active part of her faith.

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not contain any examples of infant baptism. This group grew in size, and today, many Baptist denominations baptize believers from the “age of accountability” — around 10 years of age and older. Other movements followed their lead, like the Churches of Christ, Pepperdine’s denominational affiliation, which has Baptist origins, and many nondenominational and Pentecostal churches today. At Pepperdine, Soler-Sheffield began attending the Well. President Jim Gash, as a guest speaker, invited students to a separate baptism event at the Brock House on Dec. 2, 2021. Soler-Sheffield said she watched other students enter the pool to be baptized and was inspired to join herself. “When I went into the water and when I came up from the water, all I heard was cheering,” Soler-Sheffield said. “And it was really nice knowing that I had this big group of people cheering me on and being there for me while I was committing myself to the faith, finally.” After her baptism, Soler-Sheffield said her faith is stronger. Now, she attends weekly Bible studies through the Alpha Omega ministry, which is affiliated with the International Churches of Christ, a different denomination than Pepperdine’s. “There were a lot of different churches that I went to and I was like, ‘I don’t like this, this isn’t what I need, or want,’” Soler-Sheffield said. “And then finding the one that I actually really love was so satisfying, and it felt like a weight lifted off my chest.”

I think there is a higher power, that’s not what I’m trying to figure out. I’m trying to figure out the way I should go about it. Dahn Hugh

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As a baby, Soler-Sheffield said she received baptism in the Catholic Church, but in high school, she regularly thought about being rebaptized in a different faith tradition. Daughrity said the majority of the world’s Christians baptize their children as infants. During the Reformation, a group known as the Anabaptists argued Scripture did

Offering a new perspective

Brittany Weinstock, senior Vocal Performance major, said she grew up with two faith traditions — her

“ Photo courtesy of Penelope SolerSheffield | Pepperdine President Jim Gash baptized Soler-Sheffield after the Well on Dec. 2, 2021 at the Brock House. SolerSheffield said watching other students receive baptism inspired her to join, where the gathered crowd cheered her on. father is Jewish and her mother is Christian — and she holds beliefs and traditions from both religions. Weinstock said she celebrated two baptisms — one in an Episcopalian church when she was an infant and her parents were still searching for a home church, and one in a nondenominational church at age 8. “Even though I was still a child, it honestly solidified that faith in me because I was old enough to be able to understand a little more of what was happening, obviously,” Weinstock said. “And so it felt more like a choice and more kind of a commitment instead of something I had just been blanketed into when I was younger.” Part of growing up in one’s faith, Weinstock said, is questioning it. Questions Weinstock faced include the history of Christian persecution against the Jewish people. Weinstock said she always tries to bring

There were a lot of different churches that I went to and I was like, ‘I don’t like this, this isn’t what I need, or want.’ And then finding the one that I actually really love was so satisfying, and it felt like a weight lifted off my chest. Penelope Soler-Sheffield

these questions to God but never felt she had to choose which faith to practice. Weinstock attends both churches and synagogues. “Especially in terms of history and some of the Christian persecutions of the Jewish people that really, I struggled with, but at the end of the day, I had to realize that that was kind of a human interpretation of God and the Bible and the Christian doctrine and not God,” Weinstock said. Weinstock said she plans to continue being active in both aspects of her faith. “I’m able to give my peers and my teachers and everything new perspective on that faith and so I wouldn’t say there’s necessarily one moment, but it’s kind of lots of little conversations and little moments that I’m able to really be glad for the unique experience that I’ve had in my faith background,” Weinstock said.

Parallel faith

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experiences

shape

Despite being a priest for Our Lady of Malibu Catholic Church, Rev. Matt Murphy said he was not always extremely religious — rather, for 20 years, he turned away from the church before leading a youth ministry at the age of 34. Originally born Catholic, Murphy said his mother’s prayers contributed to him rejoining the church. “There’s a moment where you either have to accept the faith for yourself or try a new path, and I tried to blaze new paths,” Murphy said. “Because I obviously knew more than Jesus and my parents at age 14. I started out on a 20-year journey, literally 20 years of self discovery, and I discovered that I never found happiness. I never found joy or lasting joy.” Murphy said he prayed for guidance and felt called to the priesthood.

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It was really nice knowing that I had this big group of people cheering me on and being there for me while I was committing myself to the faith, finally. Penelope Soler-Sheffield

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“So I answered the call,” Murphy said. “It was a six-year song and dance. So it wasn’t overnight. It did not happen overnight. It was six years of what we call discernment, which is when you start praying to a depth that discovers God’s will for our lives.” Murphy said two parallel moments define his faith experience: The death of his father when Murphy was 27, and the death of his mother when he was in seminary, 20 years later. ”I thought it was beautiful,” Murphy said. “Such a beautiful moment because I knew that, I knew the hope of something on the other side of that eternal life. And I don’t know how you can live without that hope. I mean, that’s why I say at 27 I didn’t have that hope. At that time

Photo courtesy of Penelope Soler-Sheffield | Six students decided to celebrate baptism after the Well on Dec. 2, 2021. Pepperdine President Jim Gash spoke at the Well, and attendees took shuttles up to the Brock house where the baptisms took place.

I had that sense of hope, and I just found that in the same event — the death of two different parents — one was despair and one was unbelievable hope.” In his third and last year of seminary, Murphy said there was a mandatory hospital ministry component. Though he was never a big fan of hospitals, Murphy said he was able to see a different side of the ministry. “I realized that the bed was an altar,” Murphy said. “And we’re all celebrating around this flat surface of the altar and the person who was in need of our prayer most was literally on the altar. It is such a wonderfully sacred space and I’ve seen a lot of people have really, really deep questions from those encounters.” Murphy said the sacraments provide people moments to encounter

God, but there is also something beautiful in watching someone who wanted nothing to do with God turn it around. “Those are my favorites, quite frankly,” Murphy said. “Although I do like traveling with people who have these aha moments, I call them epiphanies, right? This moment of revelation and just trying to help them journey with Him to understand how God is speaking through that moment. It’s amazing when people have those aha moments. It changes everything.” “A sinner saved by grace” Dawn Megli, a reporter for the Thousand Oaks Acorn newspaper and Seaver 200 guest speaker, said her faith changed over time.

“I’m nothing but a sinner saved by grace,” Megli said. “I have a deep and abiding faith in loving God, and I believe in a God that always stands on the side of the oppressed. I believe in a God who is a healer. And I believe God is love, that God is life.” Megli said she grew up an eighth-generation Mormon, more formally known as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Her ancestors immigrated to the United States, adopted the faith and eventually settled in Utah. At the age of 17, Megli said an adult advisor sexually assaulted her on a high school trip. Megli said she went through both civil and criminal court proceedings and sought counsel from her bishop. Mormons do not have professional clergy who only work as religious advisers — Megli’s bishop at the time doubled as an accountant. “I think that he was probably really well intentioned, but he said all the wrong things, like he asked me what I was wearing that evening, which was really twisted,” Megli said. “And then he also asked me, or he would say things like, ‘Don’t worry, someone’s still gonna want to marry you anyway.’ So it didn’t take long for me to realize that this was not a place, like the place of spiritual truth, and it wasn’t a very nurturing or welcoming place for me after that, and so I fell away.” Megli said she was an atheist for 15 years after the incident. She struggled with alcohol and drug addiction. “I found my faith through a little glass pipe, you know, and so after my sexual assault, you know, I struggled with all sorts of mental health issues,” Megli said.

She was married twice before the age of 23 and had three children before 25, when she received her second DUI. As a result of the DUI, Megli said she went to therapy, which helped her finish school and attend graduate school at University of Southern California. But she started drinking again, and in rehab, a fellow attendee convinced her to try meth and she got hooked. Despite reaching success in her professional career as a journalist, Megli said she was in a very dark

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was having a really bad day. And so we just stood there and in my entryway she said, ‘Dawn, can I pray for you?’ And I said,’ Yeah,’ and I thought that meant that she was going to go home and pray for me. But instead she just stood there, and she wrapped her arms around my neck, and she just started praying. And she started praying to God like she really knew God.” Megli said this experience put her on the path to finding her faith. “And all of a sudden I just felt this warmth, just like radiating from the inside out, and it was just the first time in years that I felt OK, I felt safe,” Megli said. ”And then I felt loved. And that just kind of started me on this journey of faith.” Megli said it was the Holy Spirit who helped her find her faith and her sobriety. “When I say that God saved me, He literally saved me,” Megli said. “He saved me from dying. He saved me from an early death. He saved me from losing my kids. You know, He saved me from myself. You know, He saved me from my past. Like He saved me from throwing away my future.” As a journalist, Megli said she has used her experiences to connect with sources, including when a mother reached out to her to inform Megli of a sexual assault case involving the woman’s 16-year-old daughter. “I was able to bring this thing that happened in secrecy and in darkness to light, and I was just so grateful that God put me in position to be on the other end of it where instead of being victimized by people like this, that I was in a position to help bring people like this to accountability,” Megli said.

And all of a sudden I just felt this warmth, just like radiating from the inside out, and it was just the first time in years that I felt OK, I felt safe. And then I felt loved. And that just kind of started me on this journey of faith. Dawn Megli

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place. Her children joined a church day-care program, and Megli said a woman within the program befriended her, coming over to her house and offering aid. “She showed me the love of God before she ever told me about the love of God,” Megli said. “One time I

Photo by Caroline Conder | Senior Psychology major Cairo Walsh sat among the flowers on Lower Mullin Town Square. Their intersectional identity as a nonbinary, feminine presenting, Black person has shaped their experiences at Pepperdine.

Journeys in Identity

Moments of Self Discovery

Identity is foundational to finding oneself and navigating the social world. Four members of the Pepperdine community shared moments that shaped their understanding of their own personal identities. By Marley Penagos

finger-prick before kindergarten lunch-time, a seemingly insignificant day in the high school cafeteria or the first time visiting the school one will spend the next four years at. Huge, life-altering moments happen every day, while the rest of the world seemingly remains unperturbed. For four Pepperdine community members, everyday moments turned into significant milestones in the development of their identities. “Identity is complex,” Psychology Professor Steve Rouse said. “The combination of ways I navigate through the social world as being like some people and unlike others, the unique qualities I have that differentiate me from others, the network of

relationships to which I belong, and — at the core — the conscious being experiencing life.” Defining identity Identity is a multifaceted concept, Rouse said, and researchers who study identity most often focus on four different components: social, personal, relational and self. Social identity includes race, gender, sexual orientation, class, ability and religion. “There’s a human tendency to categorize people,” Rouse said. “The social identity refers to the way we conceptualize people in groups — and then conceptualize ourselves in relation to those groups.” In recent years, lawmakers have debated how to teach about race in schools and questioned the

validity of some aspects of social identity. Several state legislators are considering or have already restricted how race is taught in the classroom, EdWeek reporting showed. In 2021, 33 states introduced more than 100 bills targeting transgender rights, according to the Human Rights Campaign. Rouse identifies as “a bi[sexual] man, a Christian, an educated person, and someone who is middle class.” He said his identities shape how he perceives the world and is perceived by the world, like different lenses through which he views life.

As a bisexual man, Rouse said he has struggled with the difficulty of existing as a member of the LGBTQ+ community within the Christian Church. In a speech he gave to the Stories of Hope group in September 2020, Rouse recalled his middle-school attraction to both men and women, the juxtaposed feelings of normalcy and sin he felt in tandem, and turning to the Bible and his church for answers. There were pamphlets at his conservative fundamentalist church covering topics from alcoholism to evolution, and of course, he said, a trifold

“track” covering homosexuality. “I still remember what it looked like — a line drawing of a young man with a flirtatious expression and demon horns,” Rouse wrote in the speech. “I still remember thinking that he was kind of good-looking, and believe me when I tell you that few things will mess you up more than being attracted to the picture on a pamphlet explaining that you’re evil.” Despite the struggles he faced in his adolescence, Rouse also acknowledged the privilege of many of his identities, like being a white, educated man, being a Christian in a

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At Pride with my friends, we were all talking about our sexualities, and in that moment I was just like ‘Guys, I’m bi[sexual].’ Destin Kvidera

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Photo by Caroline Conder | Destin Kvidera, senior Integrated Marketing Communication major, stood among the wildflowers on Lower Dorm Road. Kvidera has Type 1 diabetes and psoriatic arthritis and identifies as a queer, disabled woman.

primarily Christian community, and being a straight-passing man with a wife and kids. Stories of experiences

intersectional

Senior Psychology major Cairo Walsh was in high school when Walsh realized that they didn’t identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. “I remember, just like sitting in the cafeteria one day and thinking it over,” Walsh said. “I was just like, ‘I’m not entirely sure that I feel like I’m a girl, but maybe I am, but I don’t know.’” Walsh previously identified as a woman but now identifies as nonbinary. “Being nonbinary has shaped my experience tremendously,” Walsh said. “Just exploring who I was and finally understanding who I was too.” Walsh also identifies as a Black person and defines their intersectional identity as a Black nonbinary person. Kimberlé Crenshaw, a professor at both University of California, Los Angeles and Columbia University law schools, coined the term intersectionality in 1989 to describe the fact that many social justice problems like racism and sexism are often overlapping, creating multiple levels of social injustice. For Walsh, they experience the struggles of being a feminine presenting person, a nonbinary person and a Black person. Walsh said their identity as a Black person was brought to their attention in elementary school when they realized they looked much different from their majority white peers. “I knew from a really young age that I was different from most of my peers, not only because I was fully

aware that I looked different from other people, but because there were peers that I had who would actually point out that I was Black,” Walsh said. Walsh grew up just outside of Yonkers, New York, where they said most of their peers were white. But coming to Pepperdine has been a completely different experience.

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“Even from peers who were in leadership positions,” they said. “The way they treated others was not the same treatment that I got, and it felt like my peers of color and I had to work twice as hard to be treated with respect.” Destin Kvidera, senior Integrated Marketing Communication major, also identifies as queer and has an intersectional identity that includes being a disabled person. Kvidera has Type 1 diabetes and psoriatic arthritis. While her arthritis diagnosis is more recent, she was diagnosed with diabetes at 5 and stepped into her identity as a disabled person in kindergarten. “I missed a week of school when I was diagnosed, and when I came back, I would have to prick my finger every day before lunch and then go down to the nurse’s office,” she said. “And none of my friends had to do that obviously, so I remember those moments of always feeling like ‘Why I am the only one?’” As she got older, the feeling of being different and the maintenance of managing her diabetes took a toll on her. Kvidera said she never felt embarrassed about her disability, but she experienced a lot of burnout. “It was just kind of like, ‘I don’t want to have to deal with this,’” she said. “Honestly, I really wanted to pretend like I wasn’t sick, so I just wasn’t taking care of myself in that way.” It wasn’t until the summer before she left for college, Kvidera said, that she felt comfortable enough with being disabled that she could educate people on it and become her own advocate. In that same summer, Kvidera was attending a Pride month event, originally as an ally to the LGBTQ+ community, when she felt the courage she

I still remember thinking that he was kind of goodlooking, and believe me when I tell you that few things will mess you up more than being attracted to the picture on a pamphlet explaining that you’re evil. Steve Rouse

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“It was the first time in my life that I realized there were people who were avoiding me because I was a person of color and especially because I was Black, so that really shaped a lot of my social experiences,” they said. Walsh said that while their experiences were never blatant, it was obvious that they were being looked at and treated differently by their peers, and there was a clear and overwhelming sense of being undesired and unwanted.

needed to come out. “I had always just kind of questioned it all my life, and then I was like ‘Destin, if you’re questioning it this much, there has to be a reason,’” she said. “At Pride with my friends, we were all talking about our sexualities, and in that moment I was just like ‘Guys, I’m bi[sexual],’ and one of my other friends actually came out too.” Over a year later, she chose to label herself as queer. Kvidera’s identity as a woman and her identity as disabled are closely tied. They affect each other, she said. “Being a woman and disabled means that you are believed a lot less often,” she said. “I have to fight 10 times as hard to get people to listen to me and hear me when I tell them what I have experienced.” Conflicting identities

becoming a teen, that he was not straight. When he came to the realization, he said it was very difficult, as he had grown up being told that what he was feeling was wrong. While Fulton grew up in a household where various cultures were celebrated, he said it was a nondenominational, “very Christian household,” where his parents taught him that heteronormativity was the only option and that sexuality was a choice.

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‘How can we fix this issue,’” Fulton said. “That was definitely a moment of realizing that this is real, my sexuality. And in some ways, that was harder than processing my race because it was my own family who was not going to be able to support me through it, they did not share that experience.” While Fulton said he chose to come to Pepperdine with the intention of growing in his faith and learning more about what it means to be Christian in the context of a greater community, he found himself identifying less and less with being Christian as he explored other aspects of his identity. “Coming to terms with my sexuality was the first domino that knocked over the rest of the dominos,” Fulton said. “You know, ‘How can I be a different sexuality that wasn’t OK with God?’ Like, ‘Why did he create me that way if he didn’t think it was the right way?” Fulton now identifies as agnostic. “I think I am going to need to see like, some objective proof that I can exist under Christianity and have my identity or my experience not be a sin, for me to fully identify as a Christian,” Fulton said.

Being nonbinary has shaped my experience tremendously. Just exploring who I was and finally understanding who I was too. Cairo Walsh

D’artagnon Fulton, junior Public Relations major, said he grew up in Los Angeles and attended very diverse schools throughout his life. But when he got to Pepperdine, his identity as a Black person became very apparent to him. Fulton had already committed to Pepperdine before he had a chance to visit the campus, and said he didn’t understand Pepperdine’s lack of diversity when he made his decision. “I think [the moment] was at Malibu Reception where I actually got to visit and I got to see, like, ‘OK, this is where I am going to be,’” Fulton said. “And I was kind of looking around and seeing, ‘Is there someone who, racially, I am going to be able to connect with?’ And there just wasn’t really a lot there.” Fulton identifies as queer and realized early on in high school, during the transition from childhood to

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“So I was always just going with it and thinking that it was a choice to be in the LGBT community,” he said. “I was just going to choose to be straight and have a wife and stuff like that.” Looking for support, Fulton turned to his mother for help in processing his sexuality. While she wanted to be supportive of him, Fulton said she also felt the need to hold true to her religious beliefs. “She gave it an approach of like,

Moments of acceptance

The moment that Walsh felt they could truly be themself is when they changed their name. “I came to realize that I wasn’t really resonating with the person who was attached to my birth name,” Walsh said. “So that’s when I started going by Cairo, and it was kind of like, this beautiful transition into who I really was.” Rouse described his journey with his identity as an evolution, rather than a moment. “It was not an instant process, and

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I was always just going with it and thinking that it was a choice to be in the LGBT community. I was just going to choose to be straight and have a wife and stuff like that. D’artagnon Fulton

Photo by Caroline Conder | Junior Public Relations major D’artagnon Fulton lounged on a bench near Stauffer Chapel. Fulton identifies as a Black queer person and uses all pronouns. it wasn’t a single moment,” he said. “It was first becoming slightly more comfortable with myself and my identity, and then becoming slightly more comfortable acknowledging to my spouse about my identity, and then slightly more comfortable acknowledging to friends and colleagues. I can think of a lot of mini moments, but there isn’t any one particular moment that suddenly made me feel like it was OK to be who I am.” Fulton said that despite experiencing the difficulty of being a Black stu-

dent at a predominantly white institution, it was Pepperdine’s LGBTQ+ club, Crossroads, that helped him truly come to terms with his sexuality. “I felt like I was in the minority, and it was weird,” he said. “But there are people all around you that are queer and have different sexualities and that’s something that Crossroads helped me to really come to terms with. Like, there are people that share your experiences and it can be actually positive, so that was another moment.”

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Identity is one of the most crucial aspects of personality, Rouse said. It acts as the core that holds together all of the personality traits and memories that a person has. “Having a clear conceptualization of who you are is so central to navigating the social world that we find ourselves in,” he said. “It holds together how we interact with other people and our style of emotions and thinking. It is all about the uniqueness of the individual.”

Love Brings Randal Beeman out of the Dark By Graeson Claunch

fter a devastating breakup with the woman who he thought would be his future wife, and a surgery to place a stent in his kidney in early 1989 when he was 25, Adjunct History Professor Randal Beeman reached one of the lowest points in his life. “I was taking pain medication, I was sad, I was drinking,” Beeman said. “And I come home one night and I’m literally crying and throwing up and my nose is bleeding, and it was the worst moment of my life.” In that moment, Beeman’s father showed him the love required to bring him out of that dark spot. “Then who comes in there?” Beeman said. “My father. To love me. To say everything’s gonna be OK, that he believed in me, that he knew I could do good things in life. And he just loved me.” Beeman said his father was an incredibly influential person in his life, whose legacy continues to impact him

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Having somebody being there to take care of me and love me and not judge me. That’s why I’m here today. Randal Beeman

Photo by Caroline Conder every day. His father died in April 2013. Beeman wrote in an email that his father was the man people always asked to lead the prayer at church picnics. His father also worked as a hospice volunteer and helped run a food bank. “My father was a very devoutly Christian man,” Beeman said. “He was a very successful businessman, rancher, veterinarian, professor, community leader, the kind of guy that’s really hard to live up to.” Beeman’s eyes began to tear up as he described his father’s love for him: constant, non-judgmental and unconditional. “You know, that was the worst moment in my life,” Beeman said. “You’re feeling rejected, feeling physically in pain and feeling lost. I was a mess, man, and just having somebody being there to take care of me and love me and not judge me. That’s why I’m here today.” Beeman’s father was a veterinary medicine professor at Kansas State University College of Veterinary Medicine. He inspired Beeman to become a history teacher and pursue the path

he follows now. “He said, ‘I know you can be great,’” Beeman said. “My dad saw me succeed in life, he came to see me teach and see our students react to me, and he was very proud.” Beeman met his wife, Monica, in December 1989 and started his teaching career in January 1990 at Kansas State, then taught in the Metropolitan Community College District in Kansas City. He finished his doctorate program in 1995 at Iowa State University. Beeman has taught at Pepperdine since 2017. The memory of the night his father found him sticks with Beeman as one of the most formative moments of his life. With three children of his own, he said he now understands his father’s unquestioning love for him. “I just, I was like, ‘Why is he doing this? Why does he care about me?’” Beeman said. “... He just taught me a lot about love, which I definitely have been able to apply to my own children in their lives. I’ve always been that guy that tells them everything’s gonna be OK.”

Senior Psychology major Jillian Moran moved from her childhood home when she was 7 years old. She said it was hard because she and her family were extremely close to their neighbors.

Snapshots

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We had like this huge Fourth of July block party at one point with our extended family and the actual neighborhood. And our neighbors, the Kellys, had a karaoke machine. And then we used to bake with the people across the street from us, me and my siblings, like [they] taught us how to bake. Jillian Moran

Research by Emily Morton Photo by Caroline Conder

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Where It All Ve-gan By Ali Levens

here does food come from? For most, the answer would be the grocery store; but for senior Sustainability major Jayda Kechour, food is more than a box of cereal on aisle six. Kechour — an animal lover who was already conflicted about eating animals — drew the line and became a vegetarian, a person with a meat-free diet, when she bit into a McDonald’s chicken nugget and found a bone in it. “That’s when the images, the horrific images, came in my head about how the whole food processes from a nonhuman creature to arriving on your plate,” Kechour said. Kechour’s further journey to veganism — not consuming any animal products — took her years to develop. It dates back to her childhood family gatherings in Rancho Cucamonga, California, filled with her Teta’s — grandmother in Arabic — hearty, homemade, halal meals, following Islamic law. Her favorite dish of her Teta’s was lentils, yogurt and pita bread. Her Teta would tend to a bountiful garden of jasmine, figs, lemons, mint

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I want to know that the people or animals are being treated with dignity and respect and love and care. Jayda Kechour

Photo courtesy of Jayda Kechour and rosemary, and walk to the farmer’s market daily for fresh produce. “How thankful, blessed, privileged I was to be able to have an auntie and a Teta who was so connected with the art of cooking and going in the market and getting the food and preparing those meals and using the ingredients from her garden,” Kechour said. Once she was in high school, Kechour started exploring processed food and its effects on the body. Kechour became a vegan for a short period of time but reverted back to being a vegetarian, then an omnivore — a diet of plants and animals — because she was not properly nourished. But she said this perplexed her morals. “I started to eat everything, but then that was just even more confusing for me,” Kechour said. “But I wasn’t eating what I wanted to eat, which was difficult and emotionally stressful because I would feel guilty and angry and sad.” Now in a healthy relationship with her diet, Kechour said taking classes with Christopher Doran, a Sustainability and Religion professor, set off her moral compass and revived her appreciation for her Teta.

“I feel like Dr. Doran had truly grasped those feelings I had deep in me and reaffirmed everything I felt,” Kechour said. Kechour credited Doran with teaching her about Christians treating food with care, knowing where food comes from and who grows it, and considering the nature and the health of nonhuman creatures. “I want to know the person growing it,” Kechour said. “But I want to know that the people or animals are being treated with dignity and respect and love and care.” After listening to Pepperdine alumna Kacie Scherler-Abney and her husband Zach speak in one of her classes, Kechour realized her mission in life is to become a regenerative farmer. On her future “sanctuary” of rescued farm animals, Kechour said she envisions having a vegan farm-to-table restaurant called “Route to Roots.” “This is making my heart pound,” Kechour said. “This gives me goosebumps. This is deeper, this is divine. This is my calling.”

Art by Jayda Kechour for Creation Kind

SPRING 2022

VOL. CXVIII