PGN Feb. 9 - 15, 2018 by The Philadelphia Gay News

pgn Philadelphia Gay News LGBT NEWS SINCE 1976

Vol. 42 No. 6

NJ bar owner refuses to pay court-ordered lawsuit damages to gay couple PAGE 2

Feb. 9-15, 2018

HONESTY • INTEGRITY • PROFESSIONALISM

Love & Lust: Thoughts on and plans for the most romantic day of the year

IBA board prez to be awarded the PHL Diversity’s 2018 Bring It Home Award PAGES 12-17

PAGE 5

Charges reinstated against embattled Amtrak engineer By Timothy Cwiek timothy@epgn.com

SUPER BOWL SERVICE: Staff members of MANNA participated in a wager with Community Servings, a Massachusetts-based nonprofit organization that, like MANNA, provides food to those with life-threatening illnesses. If the New England Patriots won the Super Bowl this past Sunday, MANNA would have delivered Tastykakes and soft pretzels to Community Servings. However, since the Philadelphia Eagles were victorious, MANNA will receive supplies of Boston cream pies and clam chowder to distribute to clients. Photo: Courtesy of MANNA

LGBT business gives back after winning Super Bowl bet By Brittany M. Wehner brittany@epgn.com With a 41-33 victory over the New England Patriots in Super Bowl LII, the Philadelphia Eagles weren’t the only ones celebrating. A local LGBT business had a friendly wager with an establishment in Boston pending the game’s outcome. Woody’s Bar in Philadelphia made the bet with Club Café in Boston: If the Eagles won the Super Bowl, Club Café would make a $500 donation to Philadelphia FIGHT. If the Patriots won, Woody’s would make a $500 donation to Harbor to the Bay. Harbor to the Bay is an all-volunteer AIDS benefit bike ride in Boston, which raises funds for LGBT organizations. Philadelphia Fight provides primary care, consumer education, advocacy and research on potential treatments and vaccines specific to HIV/AIDS. Even with Philadelphia’s victory, representatives from Woody’s decided not only to donate $500 to Harbor to the Bay, but also matched the $500 Club Café gave to

Philadelphia Fight. “It was never about the money but about showing that the LGBTQ community supports our teams and our cities, that we are part of the greater community. We also made new friends that share our goals in the staff of Club Café,” said Woody’s co-owner Michael Weiss in a statement. “We were happy to tell them that in celebration of the Eagles’ win and to celebrate two great cities with great LGBTQ communities, we would still make a $500 to the Boston HIV charity they chose: Harbor the Bay,” Weiss said. The wager was created when J Nathan Bazzel, administrator at Woody’s, reached out to Club Café. “It’s fun. Let’s face it: We are both big sports towns [with] very loud personalities. Philadelphia and Boston have a lot of things in common. It’s an opportunity for the LGBTQ community to show our support but also keep awareness on important topics such as HIV and the HIV community,” Bazzel said. “It’s about showing PAGE 18

A Philadelphia judge this week reinstated all criminal charges against Brandon W. Bostian, the openly gay train engineer involved in a deadly Amtrak derailment in Philadelphia. During a Feb. 6 court proceeding, Philadelphia Common Pleas Judge Kathryn S. Lewis said there’s enough evidence for Bostian to face trial on one count of risking a catastrophe, eight counts of involuntary manslaughter and 246 counts of reckless endangerment. In September, a Municipal Court judge tossed the charges, citing insufficient evidence. Bostian appeared chagrined by the ruling but didn’t make any comment. His attorney, Brian J. McMonagle, said he will request a jury trial. Pennsylvania Attorney General Josh Shapiro

issued this statement: “We’re pleased with the court’s ruling today. This is an important step in the legal process in this case. We will seek justice for every victim of the Amtrak train crash.” In May 2015, Bostian was speeding on a dangerous curve in Port Richmond, causing a seven-car Amtrak train to jump the tracks and derail. Eight passengers were killed and more than 100 were seriously injured. The train originated in D.C. and was heading to New York City when the tragedy occurred. A federal investigation concluded that Bostian apparently lost his bearings PAGE 18

Convicted killer of gay man continues to seek a new trial By Timothy Cwiek timothy@epgn.com Richard R. Laird, the twice-convicted killer of gay artist Anthony Milano, last month continued his quest for another trial. Thirty years ago, Laird and accomplice Frank R. Chester kidnapped Milano to a wooded area in Tullytown and slashed his throat so severely that Milano’s head was nearly severed. The case became a cause célèbre in the local LGBT community because both defendants voiced homophobic language inside a Bucks County tavern prior to kidnapping Milano and killing him. A Bucks County jury sentenced Laird and Chester to death in 1988, but both men eventually were granted new trials due to faulty jury instructions. Rather than retry Chester, Bucks County authorities transferred him from death row to the general prison population. In return, Chester, 49, agreed to remain incarcerated for the rest of his life. He’s currently housed at a state prison in LaBelle. However, no such deal was offered to Laird, and after a second trial in 2007, he was resentenced to death.

In a Jan. 26 filing with the Third Circuit Court of Appeals, Laird, 54, cited alleged sexual abuse he experienced from his father as a young boy. The filing contends that neither the 1988 jury nor the 2007 jury were informed about the extent of the abuse Laird allegedly suffered. Moreover, the abuse caused Laird to become very homophobic, according to the filing. The filing includes a 19-page report by Dr. David Lisak, a nationally recognized forensic consultant. Lisak’s report states that Laird fits “the classic profile of a sexual-abuse survivor. [Laird] experiences physical flashbacks to the abuse, including gag impulses, sharp rectal pain, and other tactile memories,” Lisak’s report states. Lisak’s report also emphasizes the pervasive nature of the alleged sexual abuse. “Every time [my father] came home drunk, I knew I would either have to suck his dick or get beaten,” Laird told Lisak. Laird had been reluctant to discuss his childhood abuse, according to the report. “I put [the abuse] in a dark corner and shut the door,” Laird told Lisak. Laird grew up feeling PAGE 18

PGN

Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com Feb. 9-15, 2018

Resource listings Legal resources • ACLU of Pennsylvania: 215-592-1513; aclupa.org • AIDS Law Project of PA: 215-587-9377; aidslawpa.org • AIDS Law Project of South Jersey: 856-784-8532; aidslawsnj.org/ • Equality PA: equalitypa. org; 215-731-1447

• Philadelphia Commission on Human Relations — Rue Landau: 215-686-4670 • Philadelphia Police Liaison Committee: 215-7603686; ppd.lgbt@gmail.com • SPARC — Statewide Pennsylvania Rights Coalition: 717-920-9537

• Office of LGBT Affairs — Amber Hikes: 215-686-0330; amber.hikes@phila.gov

Community centers • The Attic Youth Center; 255 S. 16th St.; 215-545-4331, atticyouthcenter.org. For LGBT and questioning youth and their friends and allies. • LGBT Center at the University of Pennsylvania; 3907 Spruce

St.; 215-898-5044, center@dolphin.upenn.edu.

• Rainbow Room: Bucks County’s LGBTQ and Allies Youth Center

Salem UCC Education Building, 181 E. Court St., Doylestown; 215-957-7981 ext. 9065, rainbowroom@ppbucks.org.

• William Way LGBT Community Center 1315 Spruce St.; 215-732-2220, www.waygay.org.

1216 Arch St.; 215981-0088, actionwellness.org

• AIDS Library:

1233 Locust St.; aidslibrary.org/

• AIDS Treatment Fact line: 800-6626080

• Bebashi-Transition to Hope: 1235 Spring Garden St.; 215769-3561; bebashi.org

• COLOURS: coloursorganization.org, 215832-0100 • Congreso de Latinos Unidos;

216 W. Somerset St.; 215-763-8870

• GALAEI: 149 W. Susquehanna Ave.; 267-457-3912, galaei.org. Spanish/ English

• Health Center No. 2, 1720 S. Broad

St.; 215-685-1821

• Mazzoni Center:

1348 Bainbridge St.; 215-563-0652, mazzonicenter.org

• Philadelphia FIGHT: 1233 Locust St.; 215-985-4448, fight.org

• Washington West Project of Mazzoni Center:

1201 Locust St.; 215985-9206

• Transgender Health Action Coalition: 215-732-1207

Other • Independence Branch Library Barbara Gittings Gay and Lesbian Collection: 215-685-1633 • Independence Business Alliance; 215-557-0190, IndependenceBusinessAlliance.com

• LGBT Peer Counseling Services: 215-732-TALK • PFLAG: Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (Philadelphia): 215-572-1833 • Philly Pride Presents: 215-875-9288

By Timothy Cwiek timothy@epgn.com A New Jersey judge last week said a South Jersey bar is responsible for $31,000 in damages to a gay couple who claim the bar is liable for an assault they were subjected to three years ago. During a Jan. 29 proof hearing, New Jersey Superior Court Judge Michael J. Kassel allotted $25,000 to David Monaco and $6,000 to Florin Nikollaj. In May 2015, two patrons who allegedly made derogatory comments about their sexual orientation assaulted the men inside King Street Pub. The following year, the victims sued the Gloucester City-based bar. One of the assailants told the bar manager he was “going to fuck with those fags,” according to the suit. “The bar manager, rather than taking any action to prevent that conduct, did absolutely nothing,” according to the civil suit. Bar owner Stanley J. Bond didn’t attend the Jan. 29 hearing and subsequently told

PGN he won’t give any money to the plaintiffs. “I’d throw it in the river first before I gave them a nickel,” Bond said. “It’s an ambulance-chasing deal. I’d have no problem if it were a valid suit. But they’re not getting anything.” Bond also dismissed the possibility of an out-of-court settlement. “There’s nothing to work out,” he said. Bond reiterated his opinion that the couple’s lawsuit is “frivolous,” adding that he and his wife tried to assist them shortly after the incident. Bond also emphasized that the LGBT community is welcome at his bar. “They’ll be treated like royalty and they will be protected,” he said. “This was a highly isolated incident.” Deborah L. Mains, an attorney for the plaintiffs, issued the following statement: “The suit is not frivolous and plaintiffs have obtained a verdict from the Superior Court. Once final judgment has been entered, appropriate collection action will commence.” n

LGBT-focused gym to expand, renovate By Brittany M. Wehner brittany@epgn.com

Health and HIV testing • Action Wellness:

Gay couple awarded $31K in assault case

The owners of an LGBT-focused gym last month announced the facility’s expansion and renovations. Optimal Sport 1315 is introducing an additional 800 square feet of space. The new space will accommodate new classes, equipment and personal trainers. The gym already has 11,000 square feet of space. Due to an influx in business, Optimal is focusing on its growth, according to co-owner Jeff Shablin. “As the only LGBT-owned gym in the area, we are focused on giving everyone, straight and gay, a friendly space where they can accomplish their fitness goals and feel part of a great gym culture,” Shablin said. He and his partner, Yul Giraldo, own Optimal. They have been together 15 years and married since 2004. “Our growth has been slow and steady for more than 12 years,” Giraldo said. “Our commitment to being both a warm and welcoming ‘boutique’ gym and a full-service comprehensive fitness facility means we need more space to offer more workout options.” Shablin said Optimal has 11 additional personal trainers, gear and a new collaboration with The Running Center. Other renovations and upgrades include lockers, bumper plates, weights, climbing rope, rings and spin bikes. “We’ve grown very steadily at our Juniper Street location and in our Newtown Club,” Shablin said. “My amazing husband and

business partner, Yul, really encouraged a slow, thoughtful approach to our business over the last 15 years.” “Now we’re adding some quality equipment, 800 square feet of new training space and some outstanding instructors and trainers in Center City, not to mention fluffier towels,” Shablin added. Optimal has two locations, Midtown Philadelphia and Newtown. The facilities take pride in being an LGBT-friendly space, according to the co-owner. “We’ve been asked a lot lately if we’re going to be ‘the gay gym’ — we sure hope so. Our attitude is that everyone, and we mean that, is welcome here, but nobody needs to come through our door that isn’t ready for a space that cares deeply about diversity, kindness and zero judgment,” Shablin said. Optimal Sport 1315 is located at 1315 Walnut St. The Gayborhood’s 12th Street Gym, another LGBT-focused facility, closed Jan. 31 after 30 years. In a statement announcing Optimal Sport’s expansion, Shablin said he had “great respect for the legacy that 12th Street Gym created over 30 years. We hope to inherit some of that legacy through our close connections to the diverse communities we proudly serve.” “I want to tip my hat to [12th Street Gym co-owner] Frank Baer, who did such an amazing job running 12th Street Gym for many years,” Shablin told PGN. “He is a genuine professional and well-respected by many of us in Philadelphia’s fitness and LGBT communities.” n

PGN

Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com Feb. 9-15, 2018

PGN

Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com Feb. 9-15, 2018

LGBT Youth Supplement Our twice-yearly issue includes stories, images, poetry and opinions written for and by LGBT youth of our area. Interested youth ages 16 through 25 are encouraged to email editor@epgn.com about submissions.

News & Opinion

10 — Creep of the Week Editorial 11 — Letters and Feedback Mark My Words Street Talk

Columns

13 — Thinking Queerly: What’s love got to do with it? 19 — Out Money: Think twice before retiring early

Arts & Culture 29 32 34 35 36

Our next Youth Supplement will be March 30

— Feature: Return of the Queer Eye — Out & About — Dining Out — Family Portrait — Q Puzzle

Action Wellness hosts its annual Glamsino fundraiser with a “Diamonds Are Forever” twist. Or, if you prefer, an olive.

PGN 505 S. Fourth St. Philadelphia, PA 19147-1506 Phone: 215-625-8501 Fax: 215-925-6437 E-mail: pgn@epgn.com Web: www.epgn.com

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Interim Editor

Staff Writers Larry Nichols (ext. 213) larry@epgn.com Brittany M. Wehner (ext. 215) brittany@epgn.com Writer-at-Large Timothy Cwiek (ext. 208) timothy@epgn.com

~ Arthur Martin-Chester, member of Men of All Colors Together, on the group’s annual Valentine’s party, page 16

Creep of the Week: David Kupelian equates pedophilia with homosexuality.

Jeremy Rodriguez (ext. 206) jeremy@epgn.com

“Valentine’s Day has always been for couples and we decided we need to do something for all our members, not just couples. We just gather together and everybody wears red. We have a potluck and enjoy ourselves.”

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“Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” gets a reboot — or is it a pump?

Art Director/ Photographer

Scott A. Drake (ext. 210) scott@epgn.com 267-736-6743 Graphic Artist Sean Dorn (ext. 211) sean@epgn.com

Philadelphia Gay News is a member of: The Associated Press Pennsylvania Newspaper Association Suburban Newspapers of America

Family Portrait: Emory McLeod, with clouds in her coffee and caffeine in her step, talks shop.

Copyright © 1976 - 2018 Copyright(s) in all materials in these pages are either owned or licensed by Masco Communications Inc. or its subsidiaries or affiliate companies (Philadelphia Gay News, PGN, and it’s WWW sites.) All other reproduction, distribution, retransmission, modification, public display, and public performance of our materials is prohibited without the prior written consent of Masco Communications. To obtain such consent, email pgn@epgn.com Published by Masco Communications Inc. © 1976-2018 Masco Communications Inc. ISSN-0742-5155

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LOCAL PGN

Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com Feb. 9-15, 2018

IBA board president honored with diversity award By Brittany M. Wehner brittany@epgn.com The board president of the local LGBT chamber of commerce will be honored with a special award for his efforts to bring diversity and multicultural businesses to Philadelphia. Independence Business Alliance board president Rich Horrow will receive PHL Diversity’s 2018 Bring It Home Award for his efforts and dedication to coalition building, networking and connecting. IBA, Philadelphia’s LGBT Chamber of Commerce, provides opportunities and resources to LGBT professionals and allies while promoting economic development, growth and diversity. “It’s really a validation of the hard work of the entire IBA organization over the years — board, staff and members — to make Philadelphia a welcoming, diverse and inclusive environment for LGBT businesses,” Horrow said. The Bring It Home Award is presented to individuals who support PHL Diversity’s mission to attract and strengthen tourism markets. The organization, formerly Philadelphia Multicultural Affairs Congress, is a division of the Philadelphia Convention and Visitors Bureau dedicated

to drawing in more multicultural visitors to the city. “For as long as Rich Horrow has been board president at the IBA, a goal of his was to bring the NGLCC International Business and Leadership Conference to Philadelphia. His years of coalition building, networking and connecting have paid off,” said Zach Wilcha, IBA executive director. The NGLCC, the National LGBT Chamber of Commerce, conference will be held in Philadelphia in August. “We’re thrilled that PHL Diversity has chosen Rich for their Bring It Home Award,” Wilcha added. “While we’re very proud of Rich, we can’t say that we’re at all surprised. Rich’s work ethic, ability to bring folks together around a common goal, and dedication to the expansion and inclusion of LGBT business have made any organization or project he’s part of more successful and sustainable by leaps and bounds.” Horrow has been key in bringing the conference to the city, as well as opportunities

for diverse business and significant economic impact in Philadelphia. According to Horrow, getting the conference in Philadelphia sends a strong message to the international LGBT business community. “The Bring It Home award is presented to individuals who support PHLDiversity’s mission by working with the Philadelphia Convention and Visitors Bureau to bring a diverse convention to the city. Richard Horrow and IBA have been great partners, working alongside PHLDiversity in our continued efforts to expand our reach into the LGBTQ meeting and convention market and drive more business into Philadelphia,” said PHL Diversity executive director Greg DeShields in a statement. Horrow has served as board president since July 2013. Aside from the 2018 NGLCC Conference, Horrow said hiring Wilcha as the first executive director in October 2015 stands as his biggest accomplishment as board president. “That was an important and necessary

step for the IBA to grow our membership base and develop our programs and benefits,” Horrow said. “Under Zach’s leadership, we were also able to hire our second employee, Jess Gregan, as our membership and marketing coordinator, and really improve our diversity and outreach efforts to the greater LGBT community.” Horrow will be honored at the 2018 PHL Diversity Business Opportunity Luncheon Feb. 14. The awards will be presented at the Rittenhouse Hotel in Center City. “While I’m honored to be recognized for this achievement, it really has been a true team effort,” Horrow said. “The NGLCC wouldn’t be coming to the city without the support and efforts of our partners at the Convention and Visitors Bureau, Visit Philly and, of course, Mayor Kenney. We all love our city and are just so excited to show it off at the 2018 conference.” The PHL Diversity Business Opportunity program awards business leaders for contributions, and provides vendor opportunities and insight to future meetings and conventions. Greater Philadelphia Hispanic Chamber of Commerce President and CEO Jennifer Rodriguez will also be honored at the luncheon. n

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LOCAL PGN

Local hotel transforms into Bond-inspired scene for charity By Brittany M. Wehner brittany@epgn.com Locals are invited to participate in a James Bond-inspired event to play casino games and support a nonprofit organization. The Kimpton Hotel Palomar Philadelphia, Action Wellness, Tumbling Dice, Square 1682, E&J Gallo Winery, Yards Brewery and Philadelphia Distilling will come together to host the sixth-annual Glamsino Royale on Feb. 16. This year’s theme is “Diamonds Are Forever,” which shares the name of the 1971 iconic 007 film. The annual fundraiser benefits Action Wellness, an organization dedicated to providing resources to people with chronic diseases. A spokesperson for Action Wellness said last year’s event raised $13,000, and the goal is to raise $15,000 this year. The organization, formerly ActionAIDS, is committed to helping those living with HIV/AIDS and other chronic illnesses by providing services such as medical case management, health screenings, treatment as prevention, education, supportive housing and volunteer services. This year, guests are encouraged to dress sharp for the chance to win a fashion contest. Prizes will be awarded in three categories.

“We are excited and grateful to be partnering once again with Kimpton Hotel Palomar Philadelphia for the most extravagant Glamsino ever,” said Action Wellness executive director Kevin Burns. “Our 2018 theme is ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ and we will be incorporating prizes for the bestdressed Bond, best-dressed couple and bestdressed overall. Winners will sparkle on the runway with our fabulous Bingo-Verifying Divas. What could be more fun?” Kimpton’s 24th and 25th floors will be transformed into a Bond-inspired scene, where guests can participate in table games from Tumbling Dice. Each player attending the event will receive game chips, which can be exchanged for raffle tickets. Prizes will be featured from different retailers, restaurants, theaters and hotels. The evening also will feature music by DJ Sharyn Stone and food by executive chef Bobby Surdam of Kimpton Square’s 1682. Beer from Yards Brewery, wine from E&J Gallo Winery and various signature cocktails from Philadelphia Distilling will be available. Not only does the event raise money for a charitable cause, it also provides an opportunity to network, Burns noted. Attendees also can mingle with the BingoVerifying Divas, from AIDS Fund Philly’s GayBINGO! n

Glamsino Royale will be held 6-9 p.m. Feb. 16 at Kimpton Hotel Palomar Philadelphia, 17 S. 17th St. Admission includes appetizers, beer, wine, signature cocktails and start-

ing game chips. For more information or to purchase tickets, visit https://www.actionwellness.org/join-us/special-events/glamsino-royale/.

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TAKE THE LEAD

Take an active role in your health. Ask your doctor if an HIV medicine made by Gilead is right for you.

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Mazzoni Center expands outreach, education programs

12th & Arch Streets Philadelphia, PA 19107

By Brittany M. Wehner brittany@epgn.com

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A local LGBT health and wellness center is expanding education and outreach efforts through programs benefiting the LGBT community. Through the Mazzoni Center’s new education department, staff is working on strengthening existing programs and developing new ones, according to Elizabeth C. Kahn, Mazzoni education director. The education department was established at the end of November and Kahn later came on board to run it. “We are the education team,” Kahn said. “We have a variety of programs, mostly focused externally, but we are hoping in the future to focus on internal education as well. [The center] recognized a lot of opportunities and ways we could build programs and reach out to a variety of more people.” Educational outreach programs were previously run through Mazzoni but did not have an independent department. The department has three full-time employees and one part-time. “Now we have this team who are really focused. We are starting to develop all the programs and gather data of what works,” Kahn said. The department oversees three separate programs: Ally Safe Schools, How to Love and Professional Development. Ally Safe Schools focuses on collaboration with schools in Philadelphia in an effort to create a safer and more welcoming, inclusive environment for LGBT youth, Kahn explained. Although this program was established in 1997, staff in the education department is working to strengthen collaboration and look at what the schools need, she said. Ally Safe Schools also provides guidance to students and staff for creating Gay/ Straight Alliances. “It’s really about teaching the students how to become advocates for themselves and their communities,” Kahn said. “We don’t come in and say, ‘This is what you are supposed to do.’ That’s what makes it meaningful to them. We are hoping to see the allied program develop a student-led initiative. That’s already in the works.” Another program reaching out to youth is How to Love, described as a healthy sexuality workshop series in Philadelphia schools. Education professionals go out to the schools and run either a single workshop or a series.

“Some of the workshops are on how to prevent bullying; self-esteem; consent; [and] setting healthy boundaries,” Kahn said. The Mazzoni education department’s new Professional Development program offers training within organizations. This is an adult program focused on bettering LGBT communities through education. “There is a need for people to take ownership of the information we’re giving,” Kahn said. “It’s not just an organization saying, ‘Learning about LGBTQAA is important.’ It’s about people recognizing their own ownership and responsibility to understand things they don’t know. I think the most powerful way of doing that is teaching others to be their own advocates and to advocate for each other.” Kahn added that it is about “meeting people where they are” and working for mutual understanding in a way that may be

“It’s not just an organization saying, ‘learning about LGBTQAA is important. It’s about people recognizing their own ownership and responsibility to understand things they don’t know. challenging but healthy. “We’re going to be doing a lot of education in the Mazzoni Center, keeping us all ‘in the know’ and to make sure the entire agency is on the same page. I’m so proud and excited about this department because we have quality people who are about influencing the communities, outside educating people every day,” she said. The Mazzoni education department is also developing a new training program for organizations and agencies in Philadelphia who support, treat or advocate for survivors of sexual assault in the LGBT communities. “This is a whole community of people trying to help these survivors,” Kahn said. “We are creating a training program that specifically teaches and trains communities, agencies, hospitals, any organization who comes into contact with a survivor.” Kahn said the department plans to introduce this program by spring. n For more information on Mazzoni Center or its educational programs, visit www.mazzonicenter.org/youth/education-and-schools/.

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On Being Well

Are you taking care of yourself? How’s your health and well-being?

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Every month, Dana Rudolph dissects parenting from our perspective, from watching your children grow up to teaching them how to deal with bullies, to interviews with authors and filmmakers.

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Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com Feb. 9-15, 2018

EDITORIAL PGN EDITORIAL

Creep of the Week

D’Anne Witkowski

David Kupelian

Editorial

Everyone wins As PGN goes to press, millions of people are preparing to get decked out in midnight green, black, charcoal and silver for a historic celebration in Philadelphia sports history. The Eagles were crowned the Super Bowl champs Feb. 4 in their competitive game against the New England Patriots and fans were ready to honor the team’s first-time win with a parade along Broad Street Thursday. While a few Eagles and Patriots fans were involved in less-savory postgame activities, our community also delivered on various acts of charity. Many local businesses and organizations participated in friendly wagers with Massachusetts-based groups in advance of the big game. And these were not your typical bets. MANNA, a local nonprofit that provides meals to those with life-threatening illnesses, made a bet with Community Servings, of Massachusetts. The organizations share similar missions and made sure to capitalize on their wager. If the Patriots won, the Philadelphia-based group would have delivered soft pretzels and Tastykakes to Community Servings. However, with the Eagles victory, MANNA will receive supplies of clam chowder and Boston cream pies for its clients Woody’s Bar participated in a wager with Club Café in Boston, which made good on the bet with a $500 donation to Philadelphia FIGHT. However, leadership at Woody’s is planning to take the victory a step further by matching that $500 donation to FIGHT and donating an additional $500 to Harbor to the Bay, an all-volunteer AIDS-benefit bike ride in Boston. Even though the Eagles, the Patriots and their fans have had a longtime rivalry, it was encouraging to see the communities put their differences aside and give back. We may have beaten the Patriots by eight points, but everyone came out a winner in the end. n

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It seems like every second, there’s a new Kupelian, who story about sexual harassment or abuse. appears to want The most recent being Larry Nassar, the iron-fisted sexual USA Gymnastics and Michigan State docrepression in the tor who sexually assaulted more than 150 name of his God, to girls and women over two decades. He was distinguish between sentenced to up to 175 years in prison. two adult dudes But, by the time this column is pubkissing on the lips lished, I’m sure it’ll be eclipsed by another and the molestation story of sexual abuse and scandal. And we of a child. Really, I all know whom we can blame: the gays. think he’s the one See, if only we didn’t let gays get marwith the morality ried, we could’ve prevented much of this problem. wave of sexual harassment, abuse and In his column, Kupelian makes the assault. favorite claim of the antigay right that Or so says WorldNetDaily’s vice presi“older males” initiate and convert “younger dent, David Kupelian. males into homosexuality.” He also claims Kupelian wrote in a Jan. 29 column that that “pedophiles see their cause as the next abortion, out-of-wedlock births, casual great civil-rights movement.” sex, STDs and porn “testify to the wholeFirst of all, you can’t “convert” someone sale abandonment of the Judeo-Christian into being gay. That’s not how it works. If morality of previous generations. Not to anything, the outpouring of women commention the glorification of homosexualing forward to speak out against the men ity (indeed, its elevation to the status of who sexually assaulted them only serves to specially protected class), the redefinition strengthen the argument that sexual orienof marriage and the creation of dozens tation isn’t something that changes dependof bizarre new genders that never before ing on one’s mood. Otherwise, straight existed in all of human history.” women wouldn’t continue to have sex with “All of human history” is a little too straight men in this sexist trash culture. broad to tackle in this column, so I’ll just And unless thousands of pedophiles say that I doubt Kupelian has researched march on Washington, Kupelian can stuff gender identity going back that far. I’d also his “next great civil-rights movement” nonlike to say to the homo Deep State: glory, sense. glory homo-lujah. It’s important to note that when Kupelian “The predictthinks “pedoable result of all philes,” he thinks “The predictable result of all this wild ‘sex“gays.” But this wild ‘sexual freedom’?” ual freedom’?” the majority of asks Kupelian. pedophiles are asks Kupelian. “Confusion, “Confusion, men who abuse immorality, inse- immorality, insecurity, pain, girls. See, for curity, pain, guilt, guilt, addiction, mental illness, example, Roy addiction, mental Moore, a pedoillness, infidelity, infidelity, divorce, family break- phile whom most divorce, famdown, depression, self-destruc- Republicans, ily breakdown, including Donald depression, Trump, suptive behavior and suicide.” self-destructive ported, because behavior and suicide.” even a pedophile was better than a In other words, the radical left dared say Democrat. that sex is normal and we should maybe Sexual abuse and assault thrives in darknot criminalize relationships between conness. Larry Nassar did not sexually assault senting adults and end up ruining the world so many young women because gays can and making Jesus very sad. get married. It was because, in large part, Much better, surely, to repress and deny of the shame and secrecy that surrounds all things sexual in the name of “Judeosex, coupled with the power and influence Christian morality.” of an abusive man. The same is true for One of the problems with Kupelian’s Harvey Weinstein or Trump. argument — and there are many — is that Kupelian would like to go back to a time he claims that “the left” makes no distincwhen we didn’t talk about this stuff. And tion between sex of any kind. wouldn’t you know it, “don’t talk about “Leftists have been dreaming, scheming, it” is strikingly similar to what abusers tell preaching, protesting, demanding, litigattheir victims. n ing and legislating total sexual freedom — complete sexual anarchy, no rules what- D’Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and comedian living in Michigan with her wife and son. She has been soever — for decades,” he says. writing about LGBT politics for over a decade. Follow This is not true. But it’s hard for her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.

OP-ED PGN

Making a real American change Everyone in Philadelphia is as proud servative LGBT activists attempt to meet as peacocks with the Eagles’ win in the with the administration to lobby and eduSuper Bowl. Even President Donald cate them on our issues? Trump posted a congratulatory tweet. After all, Democratic senators and conAnd, as is tradition, the president usually servatives from various communities have invites the winning team to the White done this. Yet some of us feel it would be House to officially offer his congratuladirty of us to enter a building with Trump. tions. Eagles defensive end Chris Just like everything with Long expressed his thoughts the president, that is not on the president in an intereasy. Several Eagles players view with Green Stripe News announced that they would last year: “My son grows up, refuse an invitation, noting and I believe the legacy of our they would not go to the White president is going to be what House if the administration it is, I don’t want him to say, treats some of its citizens in ‘Hey Dad, why’d you go [to the derogatory ways. White House] when you knew There is absolutely no the right thing was to not go?’” doubt that this administration But that Eagle is not in the has been racist, sexist and lobby or political game. homophobic. There is an organization of With that in mind, a person LGBT people that supported with moral fiber and a conTrump’s journey to the Oval science might have trouble Mark Segal Office, and they should attempt accepting an invitation to give to get a meeting with the presthe president a photo op. Many people ident. And if they can’t do so, they should consider the Eagles as heroes and role be brave enough to do something. Then models, and the president is no hero or they owe it to the community to vote in role model. November, and vote Democrat to make a But there’s another point here. While real American change. n athletes or celebrities have the option to Mark Segal is the nation’s most-award-winning comattend, do political operatives, particularly mentator in LGBT media. His memoir, “And Then LGBT operatives who supported Trump, I Danced,” is available on Amazon.com, Barnes & have that same option? Should those conNoble or at your favorite bookseller.

Mark My Words

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Letters and Feedback In response to “Obituary: Casey Fay Berrian, recovery community advocate, 40,” Feb. 2-8: Thank you for this thoughtful celebration of Casey and the love, humor, and compasssion she shared with those who knew her in her short life. She was one of those people who seemed to have lived through enough for 10 lives, but had hardly even started yet. She touched so many of us, and I miss her. I was so lucky to know her. Thank you all in the recovery community for contributing to this article! — Stmw In response to “Sponsor of anti-trans legislation speaks out,” Feb. 2-8: I’m from Pennsylvania. It’s not a safe place to live if you are queer. I’m trans. I feel like the only public queer person in town because I refuse to wear male cloth-

ing. A man said “faggot” and walked away. Another man told me “don’t hang around this town” and I could see violence in his body. I left Pennsylvania for Nevada, which has the most gender equality and the most protections for LGBT people. I’ve been living in Nevada for 15 months and not a single incident has occurred. I feel lucky to live in Nevada. — Krystal Thomas In response to “Mark My Words: The Kardashian-ization of Chelsea Manning,” Jan. 19-25: “In her first-tweeted video, she opted not to say anything bad about Cardin, but used video of Trump. What a great way to divide us.” WTH?!! Not criticizing her fellow Democrat, and instead focusing on the man all Democrats are united in hating — that’s “a great way to DIVIDE us”? In what universe?

Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com Feb. 9-15, 2018

Street Talk Could an openly transgender person vying to become a U.S. senator be victorious? “Yes. People are more open-minded to that sort of thing. We have a lesbian U.S. senator in this country. If people Jamie Brill can accept a marketing specialist lesbian, why Holland, Pa. not accept a trans person? We’re on the right path. It might take 10 years. But we’re getting there.”

"Yes. But not in Pennsylvania. It's more likely in states like Massachusetts, California and Oregon. I know many Cameron Farthing trans people. barrista and student I go to school North Philadelphia with several trans students. I'd like to see a trans U.S. senator become a reality."

“It depends on the state. It would be possible in California, New York and Pennsylvania. They’re all basically Natasha Harris liberal server enough. And Fishtown people may be more inclined to vote for a trans candidate to retaliate against Trump. Ironically, having Trump as president might actually help facilitate the election of a trans U.S. senator.”

“Yes, it’s possible. The world is changing and minds are opening. I would like to see the trans community represented Kathleen Revelle on all yoga instructor levels of West Philadelphia government — including in the U.S. Senate. I’m very pro-trans.”

“Why pick a member of the resistance [sic]?” Who defines “resistance”? Does it refer to anything principled, or just partisan affiliation? For Segal, evidently it’s the latter. His question is clearly rhetorical, since with a modicum of research he could have found a real answer to it. As Glenn Greenwald noted, “Cardin’s crowning achievement came last year when he authored a bill that would have made it a felony to support a boycott of Israel — a bill that was such a profound assault on basic First Amendment freedoms that the ACLU instantly denounced it and multiple senators who had co-sponsored Cardin’s bill (such as Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand) announced that they were withdrawing their support.” By contrast, Chelsea Manning is running as a self-described radical anti-authoritarian. Obviously, if that’s how you define The Resistance, Ben Cardin isn’t part of it — he’s part of the problem. And, by the

way, there’s nothing unitive about him either: You unite progressives by standing without compromise on progressive principles like freedom of speech, not squelching it on behalf of inherently divisive ethnic nationalism. And it’s ironic that Segal conveniently overlooks Cardin’s anti-civil-liberties stance when, only a few months ago, he was denouncing the Chicago Dyke March for censoring a Jewish contingent’s Stars of David (an editorial I endorsed on my blog, by the way). Is he only for freedom of speech when it suits his demographic? — Eric Hamell In response to “Alex Nelson and Mike Rubino, taking fashion-forward steps into the blogosphere,” Dec. 22-28: I recently discovered Alex & Mike on Instagram and fell in love with their awesome lifestyle blog. PAGE 19

Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com Feb. 9-15, 2018

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Exhibit explores ‘the colors of leather’ By Ray Simon PGN Contributor Looking for something different to do on Valentine’s Day? Then go check out “Black & Blue: The Colors of Leather,” an intriguing exhibit on display at the William Way LGBT Community Center. “Black & Blue” is a thoughtful, edgy celebration of alternative sexuality. It features more than 40 works exploring leather, BDSM and kink through media such as paintings, digital photography and video. Twelve artists from the mid-Atlantic region contributed, including Syluss Alfaro, Gabriel Martinez and Cassi Segulin. According to Heather Raquel Phillips, who curated the show along with Amy Phillips, the current Mid-Atlantic Leather Woman, “Black & Blue” aims at liberation via visibility. “The exhibit is an attempt to showcase artists working around the subject of alternative sexual practices,” Phillips said. “We aimed to display work that represented what that may look like in order to allow folks to relate, find community, gain knowledge and remove stigma.” Some of the artwork in “Black & Blue” is undeniably hot. Douglas Johnson’s watercolor, “Jacob and David,” depicts two handsome nude men embracing. One of them has a large penis with a prominent piercing. Whatever frisson of pleasure the images provide, the exhibit’s overall tone is one of intimacy and respect. Undoubtedly, that’s because the artists and their subjects inhabit this subculture and give viewers a glimpse into their lives. That’s true of “Tahnee,” a digital photograph by Phillips. It depicts a beautiful, curvaceous African-American woman wearing leather. She’s standing outdoors looking relaxed and confident; diagonal lines of color visible on the wall behind lend vibrancy to the image. “Tahnee” points to an important theme of the exhibit: diversity. Rather than present an idealized, monochromatic view

of leather and kink, “Black & Blue” shows real people, along with their bellies, blemishes and body hair. Phillips said this was a deliberate choice. “I want people to see that different bodies exist within this space, that you can be a person of color, you can be black, you can be trans, you can be disabled, and fit into a space with all these other people,” she said. This inclusivity is evident in pieces like Emerson Aniceto’s black-and-white photograph

embodied bare feet pierced by hypodermic needles, it prods viewers to consider the difference between consensual kink and real-life torture. “Black & Blue” runs in conjunction with the Mr. & Ms. Philadelphia Leather Contest, which takes place Feb. 10 at The Bike Stop. But there’s more to its timing than that. As Phillips noted, in the current political climate, the rights of marginalized people, including LGBT folks and those in the leather scene, are threatened. This exhibit, with its forth-

“Revive,” where a mature top right and public depiction of girds himself in leather, and untrammeled desire, represents Evie Snax’s colorful “Heart,” a refusal to acquiesce. That’s which shows a young submis- especially crucial for LGBT sive with a lush bush simulta- youth and other newbies. “For younger folks who are neously offering herself up and coming out or coming around claiming her space. Although “Black & Blue” is or need community, to see inclusive, it refuses to make the something that other people are artwork or the lifestyle palat- doing and are open and out and able to a mainstream audience. proud about is really importIn “Quality Bondage Time,” a ant.” digital photo by Nick Hollup, Meanwhile, one thing’s certwo figures are shown on a tain: “Black & Blue” is filled Spend as little as $50 a week youvisually run for a stimulating minimum of 8works weeks. couch. They’re masked and when with completely encased in plastic of art that will get viewers or vinyl, which blots out their thinking. As Phillips said when individuality. One of them is discussing what she looks for in supine, practically immobi- an exhibit, “I want that ‘Aha!’ lized. It’s an extreme image moment.” n that subverts what would oth& Blue” runs through erwise be a mundane domestic “Black Feb. 23 at the William Way LGBT scene. Community Center, 1315 Spruce St. Emma Osle’s “Needle Play” An artist reception will be held 2-4 Email prab@epgn.com or call 215-625-8501 ext. 212 for more info. is another transgressive piece. p.m. Feb. 11. For more information, A silicone sculpture of two dis- visit www.blackandblueart.com.

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Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com Feb. 9-15, 2018

Romantic love and why it gets its own holiday With Valentine’s Day approaching, most studies that take pictures of the brain’s of us are forced to turn our attention to activity while participants are shown dating, relationships and love. But it’s also photos of their spouses versus photos of a day that plenty of people try friends, acquaintances and to ignore, reject or celebrate strangers. What the study found only reluctantly. Lots of people was that even after decades of question why there is an entire being together, couples that day dedicated to romantic love. reported still being in love Why not a day where we celehad the brain activity to back brate friendships with the same it up. Researchers specifically level of vim and vigor? detected elevated levels of Then, there’s the question dopamine, a chemical in our of whether this day is just to brains associated with pleafuel our capitalistic society — sure and reward, only when the flowers, chocolates, lingerie study participants were shown and teddy bears (to name a few images of their spouses. common gifts) cost money and The brains did not produce thus fuel the economy. While increased dopamine when there’s no denying that it’s a viewing photos of friends, holiday directly connected to or strangers. Kristina Furia acquaintances consumerism, there’s certainly This demonstrates one of the more to Valentine’s Day than ways that romantic love has just gifts. Love is one of the most importlong-term value on a completely biological ant experiences of being human. We are level. Romantic love quite literally causes fueled by seeking love, being in love, and our brains to function differently. hopefully also the work that goes into Love also leads to some uncomfortable maintaining love. For many, loving and experiences that can be traced to brain being loved is one of the most relevant function. Have you ever been lovesick? aspects of life. When we experience the feeling of being There are dozens upon dozens of realovesick due to either being freshly in love, sons that can be referenced to explain why perhaps dealing with unrequited love, or love matters so much, but one of the most going through a breakup, our brains do important reasons relates to our brains. something a little different than usual. In recent years, researchers conducted When we are in love, especially newly

Thinking Queerly

so, our brains typically produce increased levels of stress hormones. Have you ever found yourself unable to eat or struggling with the feeling that your heart is going to jump out of your chest? Not only can this feeling occur as the result of love lost, but it can also occur in response to being in love. These feelings relate to fear; specifically, fear of losing the love that you have acquired, and they can contribute to a crazy-in-love feeling. Another shift in our brains due to being in love relates to a brain chemical called serotonin. If you or anyone you know has ever taken medication to help reduce anxiety, that medication generally acts to help your brain retain more serotonin. The natural chemical is sharply related to anxiety and in the earlier stages of being in love, we actually produce less of it, making the likelihood of experiencing anxiety greater. If you’ve ever been in a relationship where you feel that you’re being controlled or that your partner is obsessing, it most certainly relates to serotonin. In short, love can cause us to act in all sorts of irrational ways. Love is powerful beyond measure and our brain activity quite literally proves this. The good news is, long-term couples seem to have more regulated levels of stress hormones as well as serotonin while continuing to have heightened dopamine levels, the neurotransmitter that actually

helps love to feel good. Some quick tips for maintaining dopamine (and love): Eye contact is the most powerful way of maintaining deep connection. Think of a mother and infant gazing into one another’s eyes. This occurs to establish a bond between mother and child. Similarly, romantic connection is maintained with this very-valuable eye-gazing. Next, you’ve probably heard you should maintain a healthy sex life in order to keep love alive. What you’ve heard is true. Longer-term relationships typically result in decreased frequency of sex, which is normal. Research is also varied on how much sex is enough sex, but I’ll just say that if you can’t remember the last time you had sex, it’s been too long. Oxytocin, most commonly known as the love drug, is produced during sex and is crucial to keeping romantic love alive. Giving and receiving love is one of the greatest plights of all of our lives. It can be wonderful and terrible and everything in between. This year, whether you prefer to celebrate love or renounce it on the 14th — don’t forget that we all truly do need love. n Kristina Furia is a psychotherapist committed to working with LGBT individuals and couples and owner of Emerge Wellness, an LGBT health and wellness center in Center City (www. emergewellnessphilly.com).

Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com Feb. 9-15, 2018

Day in the Life of ... By Brittany M. Wehner brittany@epgn.com With her hair pinned back, corset laced up and microphone in hand, Alyson Rodriguez Orenstein was prepared to take the stage. Orenstein stood boldly front-and-center to host a local burlesque show at Franky Bradley’s last month. “I am a performer and hopefully a spreader of fabulosity and good times,” said Orenstein as she waited for the lights to dim and the crowd to applaud. Orenstein is a Philadelphia-based actress, singer and mistress of ceremonies hosting burlesque shows throughout the city. She also performs in independent films, comedy sketches and other projects. The entertainer grew up in north central Connecticut and moved to Philadelphia in 2009. Orenstein made her appearance at the local bar in January for La Maison Rose’s tribute to Queen burlesque show. “I wanted to be an actor since I was very small. The first play I remember doing was in second grade. Somebody else had stage fright and I didn’t understand it. I figured, Well, I guess that’s the place for me.” Since moving to Philly, Orenstein has been part of independent film and musicvideo projects. She also started and co-ran Touch Me Philly Productions, where she helped produce 26 unique events in the city. “These shows ranged from pieces on rape culture and normality to concerts and variety showcases,” she said. This led to her frequent gig of hosting La Maison Rose shows. “It’s so much fun,” Orenstein said. “I love producing shows and doing theater. My heart has always been with the theater. This is just so fun and empowering. Everybody who gets up there owns themselves and owns the space.” Orenstein said she’s proud of her identity. The actress recalled identifying her sexuality when she was about 11 years old. “I’m a proud ‘B’ (bisexual), although terminology has changed so much since when I was coming out in middle school. It’s always been a big part of me and my identity, as well as my friend group and the people I care for,” she said. Orenstein noted her involvement in the LGBT community and said she helped found a Gay-Straight Alliance in high school and volunteered at LGBT youth conferences. Hosting the La Maison Rose shows helps her feel a sense of belonging. “This show is great for that,” she said. “I feel seen here. This is a community I do feel seen in. A lot of communities, especially as bisexual, you don’t feel seen, or people want to make you label it further. The best definition I have heard was actu-

PERSONALITIES PGN

a burlesque hostess and performer, Alyson Rodriguez Orenstein ally in a workshop about bisexuality. To me, my bisexuality is the ability to love men and women in different ways at different times to different degrees, and to be able to enjoy that and to recognize it for what it is.” For Orenstein, this type of work is empowering and exciting. As the performer continued to speak with PGN backstage about her love for theater and community, the crowd continued to build and take seats for the start of the show. “I don’t dance. I’m such a klutz-and-a-half. You can do the cutesy, ‘I’m falling over’ number once and it’s cute and then everybody is over it,” Orenstein joked about her niche in performing. “I love to talk, as you can tell, so I figured, why not host for shows? I feel like this gives me the opportunity to be my glamorous and goofy self.” When Orenstein isn’t hosting local shows, she’s busy with a YouTube channel called “From the Belfry,” which features music videos, inspiration pieces about women, local artists, political historical figures, rants and styling advice. “I write parody songs and perform them for other people. I do music vid-

eos and do my own shows and it’s been a really great thing. I feel like I get a lot of catharsis with my parody writing, like frustration with government, being single — there’s so much material there. And I just feel such a sense of community,” she said. Orenstein also helps with costumes, hair and makeup in theater productions, as well as attending Empire Beauty School in Center City. “I’m at the top of my class and looking forward to graduating in September. Afterwards, I will take clients at Danger Salon in Fishtown, where I’ve been helping out for almost two years. I also hope to work styling for more theater, film and photoshoot-related projects.” Orenstein said she got her start with La Maison Rose when she was asked to host once. “And I did it just the first couple times and said, ‘You know what? If you just want me to do this all the time, I would love that.’ I get to be around beautiful, sparkly humans who are in their element. Nobody is ever sexier than when they are in their element.” According to the performer, burlesque is more than just flashing skin. “It’s a community of people coming together to celebrate each other. This is a celebration of bodies and music and art all together at once … with sparkles,” Orenstein said. Live performances allow her

to see the community as a whole and be seen in return. Unlike the burlesque performers, Orenstein said she does’t use a stage name for anything. “I’m just me. I feel like I’m a multitude (of things): bisexual, biracial, trying to always take in what I can and learn from people. I’m always trying to relate to people. I’m always trying to tell a story, whether it’s with my hair and makeup, my outfits or whether it’s a song I’m writing. The most important thing we can do as humans is to tell stories,” said Orenstein. “If we can help each other understand more about each other, then we’re that much ahead. You don’t lose anything from being able to see from another perspective . It can make you understand why people are doing what they’re doing. I just feel like I get to live and get to have these conversations in the room.” Orenstein added that she relates to people and feels like they are on the journey. She said it’s not about changing the energy, but about taking people along for the ride. As Orenstein continued to discuss the drive and passion behind performing, a final call was made and the minutes to the show were counted down. “I’m blessed that I can provide something like that — a space people can come and be seen and feel joyous about themselves even if they’re not up on stage. That’s what it’s about. Feeling joyous in us, in our bodies, in our sexuality, in our sensuality. Sometimes we cry. It’s a beautiful, moving art. I love the buzz at the end of the show and I love just being able to use my name. Here’s me.” And then she took center stage and welcomed all to the show as the music began. n

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Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com Feb. 9-15, 2018

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Local organization hosts annual Red Party event By Brittany M. Wehner brittany@epgn.com Valentine’s Day is more than just couples and love. It’s also an excuse to have fun and socialize. Men of All Colors Together-Philadelphia is hosting its annual Red Party Potluck, where members can wear red, bring a food dish and hang out. “It’s a social gathering for people to just come together. I think that day, we need to connect with each other and communicate. It’s often a day for people who don’t see each other to chat, eat some food, have a drink and connect,” said Ken Haughton, host of the event. MACT-Philadelphia is a gay, multiracial and multicultural organization advocating for diversity, equality and justice using social and educational efforts to support LGBTQ+ communities. The annual party has been going on for about 20 years, according to MACTPhiladelphia chair Stevie Martin-Chester. “Everybody goes,” he said. “It’s beautiful.” This event is a tradition for organization members. “Valentine’s Day has always been for couples and we decided we need to do something for all our members, not just couples,” said member Arthur Martin-Chester. “We just gather together and everybody wears red. We have a potluck and enjoy ourselves.” The Red Party is just one of many annual events, including the organization’s Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. The goal of MACT is to engage in educational, cultural and political activities to discuss and overcome political prejudice and discrimination due to race, sexual orientation and gender. The organization also strives to offer opportunities for multicultural and multiracial socialization in an atmosphere for friendships and relationships. n The party will be held 7:30-11 p.m. Feb. 10 For more information, email MACTPhilly@ gmail.com.

Our next Youth Supplement will be March 30

Only in

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Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com Feb. 9-15, 2018

Love bites QSpot to host evening of love and chocolate The QSpot LGBT Community Center will host a Valentine’s Day Chocolate Love Affair this weekend. Donna Harrison, owner of Chocolate Sage in Asbury Park, N.J. will present a 90-minute workshop on the art of chocolate-making. This will include information on tempering, preparing and framing of chocolate creations. The gathering will include tastings and audience participation. The event will be held 3-5 p.m. Feb. 11 at the QSpot LGBT Community Center, 66 Main St., Ocean Grove, N.J. Tickets cost $25, which includes tastings and a three-piece box of chocolates. RSVP by Feb. 11 to Lou at loustorey@comcast.net. —Jeremy Rodriguez

Lesbian Cafe hosts Storytelling from the Heart event The Lesbian Cafe will host a Storytelling from the Heart event just before Valentine’s Day. LGBTQ+ women are welcome to attend the event 6-8 p.m. Feb. 13 at William Way LGBT Community Center, 1315 Spruce St. Discussion will be held on novels, movies or real-life experiences. There will also be snacks, time to chat, music and games. For more information, visit www.waygay.org. n

flowers after hours

Saturday, March 3

DISCO FEVER special performance by the

Village People

featuring Ray Simpson

• Dance party on the Flower Show ﬂoor • 70s beats spun by DJ Robert Drake • Wine and spirits sampling and a cash bar Saturday, March 3, 2018 · 8:30 pm Pennsylvania Convention Center Tickets: $75 online, $85 at the door This event is for guests 21 and over.

—Brittany M. Wehner

2WTEJCUG VKEMGVU CV VJGƃQYGTUJQY EQO Sponsored by

*The trademark Village People is subject to litigation. There are two groups performing as Village People.

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Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com Feb. 9-15, 2018

AMTRAK from page 1

due to radio chatter involving a nearby SEPTA train. Authorities said he had no alcohol or drugs in his system and he hadn’t been using his cell phone. Bostian, 34, continues to be on unpaid administrative leave from his engineer position at Amtrak. If convicted of all charges, he faces life in prison. Lewis said Bostian must surrender his passport to McMonagle within a week. The judge also said Bostian must inform local authorities of his permanent address and remain in contact with them on a weekly basis. When Lewis asked Bostian whether

he understood his legal obligation to attend future court proceedings in the matter, Bostian replied: “Yes, ma’am.” He said nothing else during the 20-minute proceeding. Outside the courtroom, Thomas R. Kline, an attorney for some of the crash victims, expressed agreement with Lewis’ ruling. He said there’s no excuse for Bostian traveling 106 mph prior to the crash. “He didn’t even have to steer the locomotive,” Kline said. “He simply had to maintain the proper speed.” Kline also said victims need closure and will find it cathartic to testify at the trial. n

WAGERS from page 1

our community support, showing LGBT love and interest for our teams and our communities and building awareness around an important issue that is still going on,” he added. James Morgrage, co-owner of Club Café, talked about the importance of not only cheering on the teams, but also coming together for a good purpose. “I guess what is most important to us is to show that no matter what is going on in the world, we are all in it together and we have a responsibility to set the example and work together to better our communities. We are, of course, excited to get together, cheer on our teams and have a great night knowing that regardless of the

TRIAL from page 1

abnormal and unable to adjust, according to Lisak’s report. “As a little kid, you try to fit in, but you know that you aren’t normal, that it wasn’t right, that you weren’t right,” Laird told Lisak. The alleged abuse caused Laird to adopt a hyper-masculine persona to compensate for his feelings of helplessness and inferiority, according to Lisak’s report. “As I got older, I started to feel I could be the baddest motherfucker,” Laird told Lisak.

Additionally, Laird cannot stand to be touched by another man, according to Lisak’s report. “I can’t stand it if a man touches me in any way,” Laird told Lisak, adding that he always requested a female barber to cut his hair. Lisak’s report concludes by stating: “It is possible that in an extremely intoxicated state [when Milano was killed], Richard may have acted on the long, pent-up rage he was capable of feeling towards any male whom he perceived as wanting

outcome, we have done a great thing with Freedom.” Once recorded, it will be availour friends and colleagues able to watch on the BGMC in Philadelphia,” Morgrage YouTube page. With the Eagles’ said. “We got local, national The LGBT venues win, the Boston Gay and international coverage weren’t the only ones get- Men’s Chorus will for both choruses and for GALA choruses through ting involved in the big this good-natured bet,” said game. Philadelphia Gay be singing Elton Men’s Chorus and Boston John’s “Philadelphia PGMC artistic director Joe Gay Men’s Chorus also Freedom.” Once Buches. “It’s competitive had a Super Bowl wager. fun all around. It’s bringing The losing team had to recorded, it will awareness to what we do record the opposing team’s be available to and why we do it. It’s about song choice and post it watch on the BGMC keeping visibility in the online. community. We’re more With the Eagles’ win, the YouTube page. than just singing, we’re tryBoston Gay Men’s Chorus ing to better the world and will be singing Elton John’s “Philadelphia teach people acceptance and love. It’s great

to touch him against his will.” Jill M. Graziano, a Bucks County deputy district attorney handling the case, said the office will continue to oppose a new trial for Laird. “We’re going to continue to oppose any request for a new trial or a new penalty hearing,” Graziano told PGN. “We believe that Mr. Laird was properly convicted and sentenced to death. His death sentence should remain in place.” Cristi A. Charpentier, an attorney for Laird, declined to comment. n

to do that together.” If the Patriots won, the PGMC would have performed “Please Come Home to Boston.” Philadelphia Mayor Jim Kenney released a statement after the victory that also acknowledged bringing people together, “To the fans: I have long felt that our city’s professional and collegiate sports teams bring Philadelphians together, regardless of race, income, neighborhood or gender, and that was never more true than during the Eagle’s brilliant season. We know you have waited years, some for decades, for the chance to crown your birds as champs. I urge everyone to celebrate in a way that is safe and respectful to everyone from neighbors to strangers.” n

PGN’s Youth Supplement is coming March 30. Young people aged 16 though 25 email editor@epgn.com by Feb. 23 to participate.

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Thinking of retiring early? Mind the gap! Q: I’m in my mid 50s and think I may be able to retire relatively soon. What issues should I be considering to help me determine whether or not I can make this work? A: I think it’s wise that you’re looking ahead and trying to cover all of your bases before you make the big decision to retire. Here are a few things you should consider to make sure you’ll sustain your desired lifestyle for many years to come. Best of luck! According to a recent Gallup poll, the average American retires at age 62.1 That’s at least four years away from collecting full Social Security retirement benefits, not to mention pensions, which typically begin at age 65, when available. Collectively, these programs can account for a significant share of retirement resources. According to the Social Security Administration, Social Security and public and private pensions make up 53 percent of an average retiree’s income.2 What’s more, Medicare coverage does not begin until age 65, leaving early retirees with potentially hefty monthly premiums until Medicare kicks in. Anyone contemplating an early retirement will want to plan carefully and ask several important questions.

to consider — not to mention dental and vision costs. On the positive side, the Affordable Care Act (ACA) works to the advantage of early retirees. It prohibits insurance companies from discriminating based on preexisting illnesses and limits how much they can charge based on age. For those with lower incomes, government subsidies may be available. When should you begin collecting Social Security? You can begin collecting Social Security retirement benefits as early as age 62. But you will face a significant reduction if you start before Jeremy your normal retirement age: 66 67, depending upon when Gussick or you were born. Those choosing to collect before that age face a reduction in monthly payments by as much as 30 percent. There is also a stiff penalty for anyone who collects early and earns wages in excess of an annual-earnings limit ($17,040 in 2018).4 The best retirement age for you will ultimately depend upon your financial situation and your anticipated life expectancy. For most people, waiting until normal retirement age is worthwhile. But you may want to consider taking your benefits earlier if:

Out Money

How will you fund health-care costs? One of the biggest obstacles to early retirement is health insurance. If you are working for a company that pays all or most of your health insurance, you could face a significant added monthly expense if you retire before age 65. What’s more, most companies no longer offer retiree health benefits. A 2012 survey by the Employee Benefit Research Institute (EBRI) indicated that health-care costs account for 10 percent of total spending for individuals between ages 50-64.3 In addition to health-insurance premiums, there are also co-pays, annual out-of-pocket deductibles, uncovered procedures or out-of-network costs FEEDBACK from page 11

Great tips and inspiration. This is a great interview in learning more about them. — Angela Cruz In response to “Chelsea Manning addresses power, identity and freedom at Penn,” Dec. 8-14: Maybe comparing her hair to that of Taylor Swift was not the

• You are in poor health. • You are no longer working and need the benefit to help make ends meet. • You earn less than your spouse and your spouse has decided to continue working to help earn a better benefit. If you think you may qualify for a health-care subsidy under the ACA, you may want to delay collecting Social Security until at least age 65 (when Medicare kicks in) since Social Security benefits are fully counted as income in determining your eligibility for subsidies. What will early retirement mean for your investing and withdrawal strategies? Perhaps the most significant concern for early retirees — and one that is often

best look, considering all the discussion around the latter and her unwillingness to declare anything against white supremacists. Also I feel like there is a more tactful way to mention that Manning is a trans woman, if it is necessary at all. It came off as forced to attribute an action to “[t]he trans woman.” This makes it stick out and feel clunky and uncomfortable. — ash rose

overlooked — is how retiring early will impact investing and withdrawal strategies. Retiring early generally means taking larger distributions from your retirement savings in the early years, until Social Security and pension payments begin. This can have a significant impact on how long your savings last — potentially much more than if larger distributions are taken later in retirement. Consider the following: • Delay withdrawals from tax-deferred retirement accounts, such as IRAs or 401(k) plans. The longer such money can remain tax deferred (or potentially tax free for Roth accounts), the greater the potential for any tax savings to boost returns. You may want to consider tapping into taxable accounts first. Although in some cases, doing the exact opposite may provide better taxation, so it’s important to explore multiple income strategies.

Perhaps the most significant concern for early retirees — and one that is often overlooked — is how retiring early will impact investing and withdrawal strategies. • Adjust your withdrawal rate to ensure that your savings last throughout a lengthened retirement. Financial planners frequently recommend a 4-5-percent annual withdrawal rate of principal at retirement. You will need to determine whether the withdrawal rate you choose will be sufficient to last through a longer retirement. The first place to start early retirement planning is with a detailed plan that includes estimated income and expenses. Consider working with a financial advisor to help you decide. n Jeremy R. Gussick is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ professional affiliated with LPL Financial, the nation’s largest independent broker-dealer.* Jeremy specializes in the financial planning and retirement income needs of the LGBT

In response to “N.J. urges dismissal of trans birth-certificate case,” Nov. 17-23: You should point out a few additional things. In a nearly identical case, Pennsylvania settled out of court and changed their policies. In recent years, the trend in many states has been to allow birth-certificate changes without the necessity of genital plastic surgery. Although

community and was recently named a 2017 FIVE STAR Wealth Manager as mentioned in Philadelphia Magazine.** He is active with several LGBT organizations in the Philadelphia region, including DVLF (Delaware Valley Legacy Fund) and the Independence Business Alliance (IBA), the Philadelphia Region’s LGBT Chamber of Commerce. OutMoney appears monthly. If you have a question for Jeremy, you can contact him via email at jeremy.gussick@lpl.com. Jeremy Gussick is a Registered Representative with, and securities and advisory services are offered through LPL Financial, a Registered Investment Advisor, Member FINRA/SIPC. 1Source: Gallup News, Average U.S. Retirement Age Rises to 62, April 28, 2014. 2Source: Social Security Administration, Fast Facts and Figures About Social Security, 2017. 3Source: Employee Benefit Research Institute, Expenditure Patterns of Older Americans, 2001-2009, February 2012. 4Source: Social Security Administration, http://www. ssa.gov/oact/cola/rtea.html. This article was prepared with the assistance of DST Systems Inc. The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. We suggest that you discuss your specific situation with a qualified tax or legal advisor. Please consult me if you have any questions. All performance referenced is historical and is no guarantee of future results. All indices are unmanaged and may not be invested into directly. LPL Financial Representatives offer access to Trust Services through The Private Trust Company N.A., an affiliate of LPL Financial. Because of the possibility of human or mechanical error by DST Systems Inc. or its sources, neither Wealth Management Systems Inc. nor its sources guarantees the accuracy, adequacy, completeness or availability of any information and is not responsible for any errors or omissions or for the results obtained from the use of such information. In no event shall DST Systems Inc. be liable for any indirect, special or consequential damages in connection with subscribers’ or others’ use of the content. To the extent you are receiving investment advice from a separately registered independent investment advisor, please note that LPL Financial LLC is not an affiliate of and makes no representation with respect to such entity *As reported by Financial Planning magazine, June 1996-2017, based on total revenues. **Award based on 10 objective criteria associated with providing quality services to clients such as credentials, experience, and assets under management among other factors. Wealth managers do not pay a fee to be considered or placed on the final list of 2017 Five Star Wealth Managers.

Christie twice vetoed legislation that would have changed the law, maybe the new governor would sign such legislation. — Tom Bevan In response to “D.A.’s Office finds ‘destroyed’ Morris record,” Nov. 17-23: Conveniently before the new D.A. takes the oath.

What else will be found behind the couch? — Kathy11 In response to “LGBT advocates blast state rep after homophobic outburst,” Dec. 8-14: I wish people would redirect their efforts against homosexuality over to pedophilia. — Landshark

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Media Trail Six transgender inmates sue Illinois Corrections Department The Chicago Sun Times reports six transgender inmates are suing the Illinois Department of Corrections in federal court, alleging inadequate medical care at state facilities. The class-action lawsuit filed Jan. 31 in southern Illinois claims the women’s constitutional rights are being violated. It alleges cruel and unusual punishment for delays or denials of treatment and that the department “systematically fails to provide necessary medical treatment” such as hormone therapy for gender dysphoria. That’s a medical condition where a person feels trapped in the body of the wrong sex. The inmates seek immediate medical treatment. Attorneys with the American Civil Liberties Union of Illinois are representing the women. Similar lawsuits have been filed in other states. The complaint names Gov. Bruce Rauner and several Department of Corrections officials.

Utah bill would create process to legally change gender A Utah state senator has proposed a bill that would create a process for transgender people to legally change their gender through the courts, according to U.S. News. Republican Sen. Todd Weiler of Woods Cross said the bill proposed Feb. 1 seeks to correct what he sees as a hole in Utah law. Weiler said the legislature has failed judges because it has not provided them with guidelines for changing one’s gender on a birth certificate. He noted Utah has a law going back to the 1950s that says judges can grant petitions to change names and gender. Some judges have used this law to

cent. If no candidate tops 40 percent, the first two finishers advance to an April 1 runoff.

Anti-LGBT Christian group buys shuttered gay bar building

International

According to the Herald-Dispatch, a Christian group that considers homosexuality to be immoral has bought a building that until late last year housed one of Ohio’s oldest gay bars. Property records show the Bretz Nightclub building in Toledo was bought last month for $148,000. The Greater Toledo House of Prayer released a statement saying the previous owner had tried to sell the building for three years so it could remain open as a gay club. The group said it has no role in closing the club and bought the building because it needs more space for worship services. The chairwoman of a nonprofit group that helps runaway and homeless LGBT youth said she has concerns about House of Prayer’s motivations for the purchase and challenges the religious organization to “embrace” it.

Indonesia police probe Aceh abuse of transgender women

Rhode Island lawmaker proposes ‘gay panic defense’ ban According to the Los Angeles Times, a Rhode Island lawmaker wants to bar a rare criminal defense allowing the use of a victim’s sexual orientation as justification for violent crime. Democratic Rep. Kenneth Marshall has introduced a bill to restrict the use of a victim’s sexual orientation or gender by defendants claiming provocation, diminished capacity or self-defense. It would prohibit the court from allowing such information into evidence. Marshall said Jan. 30 he got the idea from other states passing similar legislation. Illinois began prohibiting defense attorneys from mounting the so-called “gay panic defense” in January. California prohibits it too. Gay-rights advocates have said the ban is needed because crimes against gay and transgender people are on the rise. Some attorneys say it’s unnecessary because the old-fashioned defense wouldn’t hold up in court. n — compiled by Larry Nichols

Tell us what you think

Muslims in Indonesia’s conservative and semiautonomous Aceh province are protesting an investigation into local police who rounded up and publicly humiliated transgender women. Several-hundred people rallied outside the Baiturrahman grand mosque in the provincial capital after prayers Feb. 2, carrying banners that read “LGBT is not Aceh local wisdom” and “Free Aceh from transvestites.” National Police spokesman Mochammad Iqbal said an internal police unit is investigating officers including North Aceh Police Chief Untung Sangaji. The rally, which was attended by Aceh Gov. Irwandi Yusuf, was mostly peaceful. Yusuf told the crowd, “We do not hate LGBT people, but what we hate is their behavior.” Videos circulated online showed that police forced the transgender women to dress as men, shaved their heads and berated them about becoming real men.

Gay-marriage ruling boosts evangelical in Costa Rica vote An international court ruling saying Costa Rica should allow samesex marriage has upended the nation’s presidential race, turning an evangelical candidate who opposes it from an also-ran with just 2 percent in the polls into the leading contender in the Feb. 4 vote. Following last month’s decision by the Inter-American Court of Human Rights, Fabricio Alvarado, a 43-yearold journalist with a career as a preacher and Christian singer, vaulted to 16.9 percent in a survey published Jan. 31 by the University of Costa Rica’s Center for Research in Political Sciences. Alvarado’s nearest rivals were Antonio Alvarez of the National Liberation Party with 12.4 percent, and Carlos Alvarado of the governing Citizens’ Action Party with 10.6 per-

Send letters and opinion column submissions to: pgn@epgn.com; PGN, 505 S. Fourth St., Philadelphia, PA 19147; fax: 215-925-6437.

Aussie anti-gay-marriage opponent attends same-sex wedding A former Australian prime minister who was a leader of the national campaign against gay marriage has attended the same-sex marriage of his lesbian sister in Sydney. Tony Abbott joined his sister, Christine Forster, when she married her partner, Virginia Flitcroft, in a civil ceremony overlooking the Sydney Opera House on Feb. 2. Abbott told reporters it was a “great family occasion” and that he was “looking forward to having a new sister-inlaw.” Almost 62 percent of voting Australians who took part in a postal survey last year opted for marriage equality, and Parliament in December overwhelming supported legislation lifting the same-sex marriage ban. While Abbott vehemently opposes gay marriage, he has long said he would attend his sister’s wedding if the same-sex marriage ban was ever lifted.

Revisions to Indonesia law could outlaw sex outside marriage Riding a tsunami of moral conservatism and anti-gay prejudice, Indonesia’s Islamic political parties appear on the cusp of a major victory: outlawing all sex outside marriage. Revisions to Indonesia’s criminal code being considered by Parliament would allow prison sentences of up to five years for sex between unmarried people. Those changes would also criminalize gay sex. Rights groups and legal experts fear a profound setback to human rights and privacy and are racing to organize opposition. While that provision has grabbed attention, the revised criminal code also contains changes that could weaken checks and balances in Indonesia’s young democracy. One article potentially makes criticism of the president defamation and others could be used to weaken the Corruption Eradication Commission. n — compiled by Larry Nichols

Please include a daytime phone number. Letters may be edited for clarity, style and space considerations.

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Dining Out Family Portrait Out & About Q Puzzle

Page Page Page Page

34 35 32 36

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Reality series relaunches with a new Fab Five By Larry Nichols larry@epgn.com Fifteen years after “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” changed the face and look of reality television, the series returned anew on Netflix Feb. 7. The streamlined-titled and updated “Queer Eye” features a brand-new Fab Five: food and wine aficionado Antoni Porowski, interior designer Bobby Berk, culture expert Karamo Brown, grooming consultant Jonathan Van Ness and fashion guru Tan France. The group will help men and women from different backgrounds and beliefs to remake their lives

and looks. France said that while the show’s original incarnation was groundbreaking, the new incarnation tries to improve upon the cultural and social strides the original set in motion. “I think [the show] was perfectly culturally relevant back in the day because we needed the exposure back in the day,” France said. “However, I think it was done in a different way. The original show was a lot less about our personal lives. The five guys were gay but they really didn’t talk about the fact that they were in relationships and some of them wanted children. This time around, we do. We talk about everything we do. We talk about

our husbands. We talk about our children. We talk about the fact that we live the same lives as everybody else. We just so happen to be gay. “I don’t know if this season is more culturally relevant [than] previous seasons. I just think that we approach it from a different standpoint. On the whole, the show is still the regular format that did so well, where we talk about food, culture, fashion, grooming and interior design. But it’s so much more far-reaching this time because you [see] the ins and outs of our lives. And we get to take the hero, which is what we call the person we are helping, and we work with them on the

emotional side of things, not just the physical side of things or things on the surface.” While the original “Queer Eye” was filmed in New York City, the rebooted season takes place in Atlanta. France said this makes the show more interesting. “I was glad that it was not in New York,” he said. “It would have been a snooze-fest. It’s a little more dull when you have easy access to all the things you might want to use. And on the whole, the hero would know about those things already and you’re not teaching them anything new. And New Yorkers are as liberal as I am. So it wouldn’t have been as entertaining for me to PAGE 30

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go into New York and try to make someone over. It was so much more interesting for us to go to the South and meet people who have literally never met someone who looked like me or spoke like me or behaved like me. That makes it a much more entertaining week to spend with these gentlemen.” France added that operating in politically red states means that version 2.0 of “Queer Eye” isn’t afraid to take on social and political issues. “We do not sidestep anything,” he said. “I don’t know if this was something that the show creators expected but we are five very vocal people. So was the original cast, but I don’t know if it was the right platform for them to talk about anything they wanted to talk about. “With the original show, it was all done in one day. We have a whole week with these heroes. I had no idea how a show like this operates, so I was expecting a lot of this to be produced and we’d get told what to say on the whole and reshoot scenes. That was not the case at all. We’d never reshoot a scene. They’d never let us repeat something we said once we said it. So it gives us the freedom to be able to talk about whatever the heck we wanted to talk about. And a lot of our heroes are political and they want to talk about the current climate. Karamo is concerned about the Black Lives Matter movement and one of our heroes is a cop. Those kinds of things naturally came up. We don’t just have to talk about clothes. If we were to just talk about the fluff stuff, it just would not be a successful show at all in this day and age.” France added that the new cast lives in close quarters and quickly became fast friends. “We’ve all become super-close and it’s really lovely and I hear it’s very uncommon

that a cast is as close as we are,” he said. “Before the audition, we had never seen each other. We got along super-well. There were 40 people there and we were the group that was clicking very well.” One would think trying to make over conservative-leaning Southerners would be a somewhat uncomfortable change of pace for France compared to his usual clientele, but he said suiting up the fashionably challenged can be fun as long as they are game. “The only time I found it difficult is

when somebody had no opinion,” he said. “That was only a couple of heroes. On the whole, they all have strong opinions. They just didn’t know how to shop. If somebody knows whether or not they love something, I can make that work, whether they are older than me or younger than me, shorter or taller than me, bigger than me or smaller than me. All of those factors don’t matter as long as they care to a certain degree and want to look better. “Only one person in particular didn’t care about clothes. It’s amazing how he behaves. He’s a comedian and he didn’t understand the impact of what his clothes can do to the audience or how they treat him. He didn’t care about whether he had decent clothes or not but everybody else did, and that makes my job a lot easier.” n “Queer Eye” is currently available on Netflix. For more information, visit www.netflix.com/queereye.

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Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com Feb. 9-15, 2018

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Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com Feb. 9-15, 2018

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT PGN LISTINGS

‘Double Lover’ director reflects on psychosexual thriller By Gary M. Kramer PGN Contributor “Double Lover,” the latest film by gay writer/director François Ozon, has Chloé (Marine Vacth) falling in love with Paul (Jérémie Renier), her psychologist. When she discovers Paul has a twin, Louis (Renier in a double role), Chloé starts seeing him behind his brother’s back. This nifty psychosexual thriller, which opens Feb. 14 at Landmark Ritz East, is a heady and visually dynamic puzzler, featuring many eye-popping shots involving mirrors, reflections and windows, plus a few graphic sex scenes — one notably imagining a threesome. Ozon chatted with PGN about his new film, secret lives and his fascination with twins. PGN: What made you adapt this particular Joyce Carol Oates book? Do you have a fascination with twins? FO: I love stories about twins and I love to use mirrors in my movies. I discovered the book because of a French review that they explain Oates had a double — she writes under a pseudonym. I was curious what she wrote as Rosamond Smith. I loved the story and thought it would be good material for a psychosexual thriller. So I made my own adaptation, and set it in France. I am a big fan of books about psychiatry and neurotic people. PGN: I like how Louis represents the body and Paul represents the mind. Chloé can be in love with both twins for different attributes. What are your thoughts about how desire can be focused physically and intellectually? FO: That’s a good interpretation. I didn’t have that in mind making the film. I think everybody needs to have a double life — not a lover, but at least in your mind. You have to have things you don’t do with your husband or wife; a secret life. It can be in your head, if not in reality. Everybody needs that. Chloé has a charming husband, but maybe she wants something else because it’s never enough. PGN: How did you work with Jérémie Renier on playing the double role? FO: It’s difficult, but a real pleasure for actors is to play twins. An actor is a twin; they have two personalities. And they love to compose a character — it’s very exciting. Jérémie enjoyed playing the two parts and imagining their differences. We had fun. We tried different levels of him being mean or nice to have the choice in editing to compose the character. The good thing with Jérémie was that we shot chronologically, so we did all the scenes with Paul and then Louis so he didn’t play both parts in the same day. It was one, then the other.

PGN: The film uses a doubling framework to investigate how and why people lead double or secret lives. Can you talk about this theme, which is a hallmark of your work? FO: That may be my problem in my life! Maybe my double life is being a director? I like the complexity of psychology and character. I don’t like when people are just one thing. I think you have different sides in your personality. You can be different with friends and I think we need that — to have a second or secret life to support the reality. Life is like a metaphor for art. We need fiction. It doesn’t mean it exists; we need to dream and have fantasies. If I couldn’t make films, I don’t know what I’d be — maybe a murderer! PGN: Can you discuss this visual approach to your film with the mirrors and reflections? FO: It’s a very visual movie. I wanted the first 10 minutes with the psychologist sessions to have Chloé talking nonstop. Then it gets more visual, and is told by the framing. It’s a film about the unconscious. I thought I could be free to express strong visual effects, and I didn’t have to be realistic. I could play with zooms and split screens that I normally don’t use. In the case of this film, I had the freedom to explore many things. PGN: What can you say about the sex in the film? Were these graphic moments meant to shock or titillate the viewer? Why depict them? FO: The film I made before this one, “Frantz,” was very classical. I realized after I finished the film that it was chaste. It had no sex scenes. I had to go back to sex. I wanted to have fun and explore things I’d never done before with sexuality. With twins, you are obliged to see a sex scene with twins. I also wanted to show the sexuality of women and things you are not used to seeing. It was interesting to play with that. PGN: I’m a twin, and I would never have a threesome with my twin! FO: I’m perverse. PGN: The film plays with reality and fantasy; it’s even camp at times. Can you talk about shifting tones? FO: I’m a manipulator. I’m playing with you. I like to play games with the audience. I don’t make a difference between reality, fantasy and dreams. Everything is shot in the same level. That gives you the opportunity to imagine and project. I did that in “Swimming Pool.” Buñuel said you have to film dreams like reality and reality like dreams. That’s something I like to do in my movies. At the end, I think things are clear. n

Old Masters Now: Celebrating the Johnson Collection Philadelphia Museum of Art presents an exhibition of European art from the likes of Botticelli, Bosch, Titian, Rembrandt and Monet through Feb. 19, 26th Street and the Parkway; 215-763-8100. LOVE HANGOVER: R&B/hip-hop-soul superstar Mary J. Blige brings her tour for her latest album, “Strength of a Woman,” to keep the fires of Valentine’s Day smoldering Feb. 16-17 at the Borgata Hotel, Casino & Spa, 1 Borgata Way, Atlantic City, N.J. For more information or tickets, call 609-317-1000.

Theater & Arts Copenhagen Lantern Theater Company presents a dramatic mystery about German physicist Werner Heisenberg visiting his old mentor and Danish counterpart Niels Bohr in 1941 while their countries were at war, through Feb. 11 at St. Stephen’s Theater, 923 Ludlow St.; 215-829-0395. Cornel West The author of “Race Matters” hosts a reading 7:30 p.m. Feb. 10 at Central Library, 1901 Vine St.; 215-567-4341. Design in Revolution: A 1960s Odyssey Philadelphia Museum of Art presents an exhibition of pop art and psychedelia from the civilrights and anti-war movements through Sept. 9, 26th Street and the Parkway; 215-763-8100. Doppelbanger Philadelphia physical-theater artist and producer

Nick Jonczak performs an original solo embodying gay obsession, identity, trauma and joy through Feb. 11 at Mascher Space Co-op, 155 Cecil B. Moore Ave.; http:// www.mascherdance. org/.

program highlighted by the Philadelphia premiere of “O Balcao de Amor” by Israeli choreographer Itzik Galili Feb. 15-18 at Prince Music Theater, 1412 Chestnut St.; 267239-2941.

Gary Richardson & Matt Barats The comedians from “SNL” and Comedy Central perform 10 p.m. Feb. 9 at Good Good Comedy Theatre, 215 N. 11th St.; 215-399-1279.

Mark Morris Dance Group and Music Ensemble Dance Affiliates presents the preeminent modern-dance company making a triumphant return to Philadelphia after 14 years Feb. 9-10 at Zellerbach Theatre, 3680 Walnut St.; 215-898-3900.

The Humans Walnut Street Theatre presents the Tony Award-winning new play about a family’s holiday turmoil through March 4, 825 Walnut St.; 215-574-3550. Jeff Dunham The comedic ventriloquist performs 3 p.m. Feb. 11 at Wells Fargo Center, 3601 S. Broad St.; 215-3899543. Les Ballet Jazz de Montréal NextMove Dance brings the best in international choreographers to the stage for a

Marvel Universe Live! Comic-book characters come to life and spring into action Feb. 16-19 at Wells Fargo Center, 3601 S. Broad St.; 215-389-9543.

Patricia Urquiola: Between Craft and Industry The work of acclaimed designer Urquiola, who creates cool, innovative objects for the home and office, is on display through March 4 at Philadelphia Museum of Art, 26th Street and the Parkway; 215-7638100. Pee-a-Boo Revue presents: Sweet Dreams The burlesque troupe performs a Valentine-themed show 8 p.m. Feb. 11 at World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St.; 215-222-1400. The Revolutionists Theatre Horizon presents a comedy about four badass women trying not to lose their heads in this irreverent, rebellious comedy set during the French Revolution, through Feb. 25 at Theatre Horizon, 401 DeKalb St., Norristown; 610283-2230.

Notices Send notices at least one week in advance to: Out & About Listings, PGN, 505 S. Fourth St., Philadelphia, PA 19147 fax: 215-925-6437; or e-mail: listings@epgn.com. Notices cannot be taken over the phone.

PGN ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT LISTINGS

PGMC & Anna Concert Philadelphia Gay Men’s Chorus and Anna Crusis Women’s Choir team up for a performance 3-5 p.m. Feb. 11 at Lutheran Church of the Holy Communion, 2111 Sansom St.; www. pgmc.org.

THE GOOD-HUMOR MAN: Comedian and “The Daily Show” correspondent Roy Wood Jr. brings his hilarious worldview to the stage when he performs Feb. 16-18 at Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. For more information or tickets, call 215-6066555.

Romeo + Juliet The 1996 film based on Shakespeare’s classic tragedy is screened 8 p.m. Feb. 12 at The Trocadero Theatre, 1003 Arch St.; 215922-6888. Sensitive Guys InterAct Theatre Company presents a drama about safe spaces and an incident that threatens the idea at a liberal-arts university through Feb. 11 at The Drake Proscenium Theatre, 302 S. Hicks St.; 215-5688079. Varujan Boghosian: Master Manipulator Philadelphia Museum of Art presents an exhibition featuring works by the artist and collector who scours antique shops and flea markets for materials to use in his imaginative sculptures and collages through April 18, 26th Street and the Parkway; 215-7638100.

Vicki Lawrence & Mama: A TwoWoman Show The actress from “The Carol Burnett Show” and “Mama’s Family” performs 8 p.m. Feb. 16 at Keswick Theatre, 291 N. Keswick Ave.; 215572-7650.

Music Who’s Bad The Michael Jackson tribute band performs 8 p.m. Feb. 10 at Keswick Theatre, 291 N. Keswick Ave.; 215-5727650. John 5 and The Creatures The rock guitarist performs 8 p.m. Feb. 10 at Sellersville Theater 1894, 24 W. Temple Ave., Sellersville; 215-257-5808. Black Veil Brides and Asking Alexandria The hard-rock bands perform 8:30 p.m. Feb. 10 at The Electric Factory, 421 N. Seventh St.; 800-745-3000.

The Juice Crew Reunion Classic hip-hop artists including Big Daddy Kane, Biz Markie, Kool G Rap, MC Lyte and more perform 7 p.m. Feb. 11 at The Electric Factory, 421 N. Seventh St.; 800745-3000. Steve Aoki The EDM producer and DJ performs 8 p.m. Feb. 11 at The Fillmore Philadelphia, 29 E. Allen St.; 215-3090150. Celebrating David Bowie The tribute concert spans the rock icon’s career 8 p.m. Feb. 11 at Keswick Theatre, 291 N. Keswick Ave., Glenside; 215572-7650. Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds The UK rock

Nightlife group fronted by the former Oasis guitarists and songwriter performs 8 p.m. Feb. 13 at Merriam Theater, 250 S. Broad St.; 215-893-1999. Mimi Imfurst Presents Drag Diva Brunch Mimi Imfurst, Bev, Vinchelle, Sutton Fearce and special guests perform 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Feb. 10 at Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St.; 215-606-6555.

Crankshaft Take part in a dresscode-enforced dance party 10 p.m.-2 a.m. Feb. 10 at The Bike Stop, 206 S. Quince St.; 215-627-1662. Lovebirds Dance along with a Valentine’s Daythemed cabaret 6 p.m. Feb. 12 at L’Etage, 624 S. Sixth St.; 215-5920656. From Drags to Riches Season 2 Contestants battle it out in games of gay trivia, Pictionary and improv to see who will walk away with the grand prize 9 p.m.-midnight Feb. 13 at Tabu, 200 S. 12th St.; 215-9649675.

Outta Town My Neighbor Totoro The acclaimed animated film is screened 1:30 p.m. Feb. 10 at the Colonial Theatre, 227 Bridge St., Phoenixville; 610917-1228. Judy Gold The out Emmy Award-winning comedian performs 8 p.m. Feb. 10 at The Rrazz Room, 6426 Lower York Road, New Hope; 888-5961027. In the Heat of the Night The classic awardwinning drama is screened 1:30 p.m. Feb. 11 at the Colonial Theatre, 227 Bridge St., Phoenixville; 610917-1228. Rob Thomas The Matchbox 20 singer performs 9 p.m. Feb. 14 at the Borgata Hotel, Casino & Spa Music Box, 1 Borgata Way, Atlantic City, N.J.; 609-317-1000. n

Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com Feb. 9-15, 2018

‘Written on Skin’ makes modernist debut at Opera Philadelphia By A.D. Amorosi PGN Contributor To start its 2018 season, Opera Philadelphia presents British composer George Benjamin’s and librettist Martin Crimp’s “Written on Skin.” The modernist tale of lust, violence, purity and deceit features out countertenor Anthony Roth Costanzo in the dual role of “First Angel” and “Boy.” We chatted with Costanzo ahead of the show’s premiere.

for the show. Usually it’s just the singers and a few top administrators who are present. Here at OP, the entire staff was invited and they all attended — all the company’s employees from every department, at every level. This means that whomever answers the phones, sends an email or communicates with the outside world is connected to the art that this company is making. It sounds like an obvious move, but it is surprisingly rare. This is the kind of thing that sets Opera Philadelphia apart, and it all

PGN: The story is both a thrilling portrait of godliness and lust. Which side are you leaning upon most? ARC: Interestingly, I think what weaves both the godliness and lust together in this story is the idea of control. Each of the three main characters shares in the desire to control the other two utterly and completely. These power plays unfurl in different ways throughout the opera, some of them psychological and some of them physical; some having to do with creation and some having to do with destruction. PGN: What is the differing thought processes — or even vocal tones and characteristics — that you lend to “Boy” and “First Angel”? ARC: I see the Boy and the Angel as the same being. In my mind, the boy dies and becomes the angel, and the angel in turn looks back and relives this story over and over. I think that distinguishing them vocally is actually the wrong approach because they keep overlapping and morphing into one another — even in the libretto. The boy refers to the future several times and at different moments, mentions parts of contemporary urban life, like concrete and shopping malls. The Angel is telling the whole tale with intimate knowledge, as if he’s lived it himself. So to answer your question, I try and keep them vocally on par. I studied the score and felt that there aren’t great distinctions that Benjamin makes between them musically so I tried to avoid any kind of vocal delineation. PGN: You have been in Philadelphia for “Phaedra,” as Artemis. What did you see in Opera Philadelphia that made you believe that returning for “Written on Skin” would be a good experience? ARC: I share the opinion of many that Opera Philadelphia is one of the most forward-thinking, innovative and high-caliber companies in the country, leading the charge on many fronts. On the first day of any opera rehearsal, there is what we call a design presentation, at which the director presents his concept

comes across in what they produce and how they engage with their community and the opera world, more generally. You’re very lucky to have them here! Corrado Rovaris, the music director, is one of the finest musicians I have ever worked with, and also one of the most spectacularly kind. David Devan generates ideas and enthusiasm that can transform our art form and bring it to a new audience and a new generation. PGN: What scene from “Written on Skin” is most pivotal to you and the story? ARC: In the very last scene, I sing a lugubrious and sinewy duet with the glass harmonica that I look forward to every time. Not only is its inherent beauty something I love to be a part of, but it means I’ve made it to the end of the opera, which in this particular case is no small task. PGN: Has your journey as an out gay man in opera always been an easy one? A rocky road? ARC: With pretty shrewd and proactive psychologist parents, it’s been an easy road. I was never self-conscious about it, and I feel I’m lucky that no one ever made an issue of it with me. If I’ve encountered any tricky situations, I’ve always found ways to diffuse the tension in order to alleviate any awkwardness. n “Written on Skin” plays through Feb. 18 at the Academy of Music, 240 S. Broad St. For more information or to purchase tickets, visit http:// bit.ly/2E6yhuw.

Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com Feb. 9-15, 2018

Food and Drink Directory

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DINING PGNOUT

Suburban Restaurant: A garden of eatin’ By Larry Nichols larry@epgn.com Talk about living up to a name. Suburban Restaurant & Beer Garden, in Exton, is surrounded by the kind of quiet, bucolic, mazelike, affluent sprawl people dream about. Situated in a softly lit square surrounded by condos, nature walks and rowhouses, Suburban has the kind of farm-to-table concept that is popular with restaurants that are so close to their sources. But also mixed in is a relaxed, informal German ‘bierhaus’ charm. Chef Eric Yost waves the farmto-table flag proudly, decorating the walls with pictures of the farms that source the restaurant and going through a pig a week for house-made schnitzels and brats, among other meat dishes. He also claims to have invented fried deviled eggs ($8), a favorite on the small-plates menu. And, given the edge this dish has in taste and texture over similar versions around

town, we’re inclined to believe him. The breading and the crunch on his eggs are spectacular, and the porcini mouse filling is delicately smooth and tasty. The cheese curds ($9) are another addictive dish. Fried to the consistency of French fries, they remain creamy and mild but semisolid inside, and the salty flavor plays nicely with the garlic dip served on the side. The pierogies ($9) by themselves are excellent morsels, caramelized to perfection and stuffed full of cheddar, but the addition of savory house-made kielbasa sends this dish over the top. House-made pasta is another Suburban strong suit. If you find yourself indulging in the housemade schnitzels ($22) or bratwursts

($14), definitely pair them up with the Dutch cabbage and noodles ($10): The tender pasta and the mild brininess of the cabbage offer an excellent counterbalance to the smokiness of the meats. But if you’re looking for some excitement outside of the German wheelhouse, the dandan noodle ($18) is an excellent dish. More like spaghetti and meat sauce, this Asian-inspired selection is spicy with chili oil but tempered with the sweetness of ground peanuts. The hearty house-made noodles really soak up the flavors for a satisfying dish. Sure, it’s a trek from the city — but if you want to see the ’burbs at their best while feasting on local produce and proteins, make the trip to Suburban. n

If you go Suburban Restaurant and Beer Garden 570 Wellington Square, Exton 610-458-2337 http://www.suburbanbg.com/ Mon.-Thurs.: 11:30 a.m.-midnight Fri.-Sat.: 11:30 a.m.-2 a.m. Sun.: 10 a.m.-midnight CAMBRIDGE FRIES Photo: Larry Nichols

PROFILE PGN

Family Portrait

Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com Feb. 9-15, 2018

Suzi Nash

Emory McLeod, baking the world a better place “Sweet Love” was a hit song from songstress Anita Baker, but it could also be a job description for this week’s Portrait. Emory McLeod is a wedding and custom-cake coordinator at Cake Life Bake Shop. A charming young woman with a lovely and frequent laughand I found out just before we started our phone interview that her partner is Nima Etemadi, winner of The Cupcake Wars and one of my favorite profiles from a few years back. Sweet! PGN: How do you like to start your morning? EM: With a cup of coffee, as soon as I can get it. I can’t function without it. As soon as I wake up, the search begins. PGN: Do you have a cupcake to go with it? EM: [Laughing] I try not to do that! But I will admit that there are days when I forget to eat breakfast and whatever’s on the staff tray becomes breakfast, a cookie or a brownie or whatever’s there. PGN: I’ve gotten into the habit of sweet stuff for breakfast, probably not the healthiest thing. Wait, you want customers. Cupcakes are great for breakfast and, unknown fact, there are no calories in February! EM: It’s all right! We have regular breakfast foods too. Seasonal quiches, breakfast hand pies, savory scones, sausage rolls … We’re not always sweet! PGN: [Laughing] Good to know. What are three of your favorite cupcake/cake flavors? EM: My all-time favorite is our lemon cake, soaked in thyme, with a honey goat-cheese frosting. It’s incredible and another favorite is our red velvet, it’s a basic flavor but there’s something about the way we do it that takes it to a higher level. And my third would be anything that has our hot-chocolate whip on it! PGN: You deal in celebration cakes: What was your most memorable birthday and birthday cake? EM: For my 25th birthday, my boyfriend at the time and my mom organized a surprise party for me. There were friends there from New York and all over who came and surprised me. I thought it was going to be a lowkey birthday and it ended up being an amazing night. It was also the first time I went to Woody’s and it was life-changing. We closed the place down and then went to Voyeur! The most memorable cake was a tequila-shot birthday cake, made with stacks of shot glasses filled with tequila. I think that was for my 23rd.

PGN: You’ve done a little partying! EM: Oh yeah, but I’m starting to creep up to my 30s, so not so much anymore. PGN: Why was it life-changing? EM: Woody’s was the first place that felt like home, if that makes sense. Everyone was so welcoming, I really find people in Philadelphia to be more friendly and open and sweet than in other places I’ve lived. If we’re getting really honest here, it was the first time in a long time where I felt that I could let loose and just be myself and not worry what people around me were thinking about me. Growing up, I struggled a lot with worrying about what people thought about me. PGN: Was that your first time in a gay club? EM: No. I’d been to a few — some drag shows when I was younger and a few places in the city. I’d had relationships in the LGBTQ+ community before. If people ask, I identify as bisexual but in actuality, I think I’m more pansexual. But I try not to get caught up in labels. I just live my life how and with whom I want to.

sounds random and chaotic, but it ended up being really beautiful. PGN: And I understand you had a very high-profile client recently. EM: Yeah, we got a call to make a cake and they wanted it to be black and yellow with gold. They also wanted bees on it and though they didn’t say who it was for, we had an idea. Lily, the other owner asked if they wanted crowns on it and they said yes and then we knew. We were making Beyonce’s birthday cake! Our cake director made a magnificent cake and we delivered it to them backstage at Made in America. It was pretty cool. PGN: Speaking of cool, what were you like as a kid? EM: I was pretty independent [laughing], or some might say stubborn. All the other kids could be doing something and if I wasn’t interested, I would never just join the crowd to go along. I’d just

PGN: You said that you struggled with what people think. Have you ever had any pushback because of it? EM: No, we’ve been pretty lucky. Nima identifies as a trans man and both of our families have been nothing but loving and supporting. Gender or sexual orientation has never been an issue for either of us. We’re surrounded by great family and friends. And in the greater world, I think we have the safety and privilege of looking like a straight couple. Nima totally passes and I look like … well … PGN: A typical straight girl! I looked up your profile online. EM: [Laughing] You’ve been cyberstalking me! PGN: I have indeed! Hey, I worked at Sisters for 17 years and people still thought I was straight! But back to you: What do you do at Cake Life? EM: I am the wedding and custom-cake coordinator. So if you want a cake or desserts for an event, I guide you through the process. I make sure that your design matches up with your vision and that it matches up with your budget so we can create the cake of your dreams. PGN: What’s the most unusual cake you’ve done? EM: We recently made one for the scientist behind Botox. It was for his birthday and it had an edible racecar and Flyers and Eagles logos with scientific beakers around the bottom and “happy birthday” using lettering like on a periodic table. It

be like, Cool, I’m going to just go do me. Catch you later. It’s something that carries on to this day! [Chuckles] I think a part of me enjoys going against the grain. PGN: Can you cook or bake? EM: I’m good at baking, not so much cooking. Nima just said to say hi and that I’m lying, but it’s true. I think you need intuition and spontaneity for cooking but baking is more measured and

precise. My mom is a great cook, I’m still trying to learn how to make her sauces. PGN: What do the folks do? EM: My mom works in development at a women’s shelter and my dad is a consultant for several motor-vehicle companies. PGN: Where are you from? EM: That’s a little complicated. I was born in Portland, Maine. Then when I was 6, we moved to the Bucks County area, then I moved to NYC to go to high school and college and bounced around between a few schools there and ended up back in Philly five years ago. PGN: Any extra curricular activities? EM: As a kid, I loved to sing and was part of a professional group, the Princeton Girls Choir. Ironically, when I moved to New York, I stopped singing. I like to draw and I still love music, though I don’t do it professionally anymore. My main enjoyment is spending as much time as I can with the people that I love: Nima, family and friends. PGN: How did you and Nima meet? EM: I was working in marketing and last year I just decided it wasn’t the right path for me, so I quit my job and started working at the bakery as a barista. A month in, I got promoted to “frontof-house” manager and in September I got the position that I’m in now. When I was working at the front of the house, Nima and I found ourselves spending a lot of time together and next thing you know we started dating. As the co-owner of the place, Nima jokes that it’s an HR nightmare! But it was obvious to both of us that it was inevitable, and worth the chance. It’s been awesome! PGN: Nima, you charmer, you! NIMA: [laughing from the other end of the phone] Yeah, I try to keep it turned down at work but sometimes it just comes out! EM: Yes, it just oozes from your pores. PGN: Have you guys had to deal with any Bridezillas? PAGE 36

Philadelphia Gay News www.epgn.com Feb. 9-15, 2018

PORTRAIT from page 35

EM: Not really, because we work so closely with the brides and make sure every detail is taken care of, so we haven’t had any real diva problems. Knock on wood! PGN: What’s happening at the shop for Valentine’s Day? EM: We have all sorts of wonderful baked goods for the holiday of course, but we’re also having an erotic cookie decorating class, which will be a lot of fun. We have a number of very-suggestive, very-detailed cookie cutters so it’s going to be really cool. But we’re almost sold out! PGN: Have you been asked to do an erotic pastry before? EM: We definitely have! Lots of penis cakes for bachelorette parties, cookies with suggestive bulges, you name it. We all get excited when someone orders something fun like that! PGN: What’s the hardest part of being in the cake business? EM: I’ve struggled with an eating disorder most of my life so it can be challenging working in the food industry and being around it all the time. I’ve struggled with bulimia, specifically, and eating disorders in general since I was about 11. I’ve been in and out of treatment for years and would say that I’m now close to being fully recovered, if there is such a thing. I struggle a lot less with it than I used to, but it’s still a daily challenge. It’s why I want to talk about it, so we can remove the stigma so that others in the same position can know that they’re not alone. PGN: It must be tough. Unlike alcohol or drugs, things a recovering person can abstain from. You still have to eat. EM: Exactly. You can’t go cold turkey and stop eating. Although, to be honest, there are a lot of times when I wish I could. Even like I mentioned when I have days where I don’t eat breakfast and just pick something from the staff tray, it can be triggering. PGN: Do you work with any organizations on this issue? EM: I’ve been to treatment at the Renfrew Center a couple of times. They have an inpatient center here in Philadelphia. They do really good work; a few things I don’t always agree with, but for the majority, they do incredible work and they’re very LGBTQ-friendly. They’re definitely open to the community. I probably wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for them. PGN: What’s a misconception that people have about eating disorders, at least from your experience? EM: I think there’s a common misconception that eating disorders are

PGN

about wanting to be thin and beautiful. In reality, wanting to be thin is just a symptom. It’s definitely more about wanting control, being able to control something in your life. A lot of people with eating disorders have experienced times in their lives where they felt out of control or powerless — traumatically in most cases. The symptom of wanting to be thin is also less about wanting to be beautiful and really more about not wanting to take up space. Not having the confidence to claim space, not having any self-esteem. It’s a big issue. The stigma is that people with eating disorders are trying to obtain this shallow image of what we think society says we should be. That pressure definitely doesn’t help, but it’s not the real issue … in my experience and in the experience of many friends who I met at Renfrew. It goes much deeper. PGN: Thank you for sharing that. OK, time for totally silly questions. What Winter Olympic sport would you want to compete in? EM: Probably bobsledding. I think it would be terrifying and awesome at the same time. When I was younger, I went up to Lake Placid for the pre-Olympics with my family and we saw the bobsledding from up close. They go so fast, it’s crazy. I was entranced. PGN: What would your theme song be? EM: Hmmn, probably “Off To The Races” by Lana Del Rey. PGN: Name one historical figure you would like to have coffee with. EM: Cleopatra, hands down. She was the first female pharaoh in Ancient Egypt and just an all-around spicy lady. I mean, she’s believed to have killed herself with an asp bite of all things. Pretty badass. PGN: What’s rewarding about being parts of a couple’s big love day? EM: Being able to take people’s vision of what’s debatably one of the biggest days of their lives and being a part of making it come to life. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not important but on a micro level, it means a lot to people. We become intimately involved in their lives. We get pictures back of the cake cuttings and honeymoon postcards and not just that, it’s the same thing for birthdays and graduations. Big events are marked with a cake. And being able to be a part of people’s lives for their milestones is amazing. n For more information, visit cakelifebakeshop. com. To register for the erotic cookie decorating class, visit http://bit.ly/2FSSbFK. To suggest a community member for Family Portrait, email portraits05@aol.com.

Q Puzzle The Left Hand of Darkness Across

1. Lesbos, even to straight people 5. Bodies of sailors 10. “How queer!” 14. Sphincter opening? 15. It can cut your pole 16. Kill, as a bill 17. Words from Rimbaud 18. Playful aquatic critter 19. Michelangelo’s David, and such 20. Beginning of a quote from “The Left Hand of Darkness” author Ursula Le Guin (19292018) 23. “Guys and Dolls” co-creator Burrows 24. Long, to a Samurai? 25. Robin William’s “Mork and Mindy” partner Dawber 26. Poke fun at

28. Spoke like Sparky on “South Park” 30. Boom Boom Room beach 32. Say without thinking 33. Org. for Dr. Susan Love 36. Mapplethorpe models, often 37. Boxers eat it on the floor 38. Bodies of soldiers 40. Cincinnati team 41. More of the quote 44. Atlantic City casino, with “the” 47. Blow job with a twist? 48. Up to, for short 51. In-your-face 53. Market tail? 54. Seine feeder 56. “What Will Mary Say” singer Johnny 58. Where a top puts it? 59. End of the quote 63. One that attacks a fly 64. Where a queen may rule

65. Elizabeth of “Transamerica” 66. Janis Joplin’s “Down ___” 67. Montezuma, for example 68. Parker of “South Park”

Down

1. “___ Spartacus!” 2. One of Frosty’s pair? 3. Get slick in the shower 4. _ Showboat_’s “Nobody ___ But Me” 5. Sated 6. Be unfaithful to 7. Piercing rebuke from Caesar? 8. Sassy kid 9. Aileen Wuornos’ kind of killer 10. Porter’s “Well, Did You ___” 11. Close role in “Hamlet” 12. Got 13. Deer in Maria’s song 21. Nureyev’s refusal 22. Guy under

Hoover 23. “Mamma Mia!” band 27. Opera villain, typically 29. Fast food pioneer Ray 31. Richard Simmons, to fitness 33. “Corydon” author Gide 34. A. A. for children 35. One may shed this 38. One, to Frida 39. Gay Games VI site (abbr.) 42. Top floor 43. Sex appeal 44. Red fruit used as a vegetable. 45. “DeDe Dinah” singer

Frankie 46. It’s tossed off a ship 48. Bear or bull 49. Chant 50. Street named for writer Harper? 52. James Beard partner William 55. Roll with the punches 57. Felder or Teasdale 58. Gomer Pyle’s branch 60. “___ who?!” 61. Inked decoration, for short 62. Heady stuff

PGN

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