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How to survive festival food Bypass burgers that have been to more festivals than you have. Stick to stuff prepared on site, and eat early to get the first grab. Smoothies and soup are an easy eat whatever you’re on – and liquid lunch means less s**tting. How to have A disco nap The best time to sleep is when nobody else is. Festival campsites after dark are noisier than a Tourettes’ convention, so early evening, when the sun’s gone in and the other campers are out, is the best time to recharge your rave batteries. Camp away from the arena, get some earplugs and take a massive pillow.
expe rt advic e
festival pro skills
It’s our gear-packing, dog-fooling, disco-napping guide Words Phil Dudman, Mike Monypenny, Mixmag office
How to get past sniffer dogs Sniffer dogs are primarily trained to catch dealers, so only ever carry your own supply/a small amount. Masking with other smells won’t work; an airtight container rinsed with white spirit or petrol might, as may dressing up as a giant cat or pork chop. PS: drugs are illegal. How to stop your tent flooding Camp on high ground. If pitched on an incline, face the entrance downhill. If on the flat, get a stick or tent pole and dig a 1”–2” inch deep trench around the perimeter, adding slipways from both sides that will feed surface water into your trench and away. Drawbridge optional. How to save a tent space Get plenty of novelty hazard tape and some spare pegs. Peg out your area, taking care to befriend and include your neighbours by offering to save spots for their mates too, thus
july 18–19 lovebox Victoria Park, London Tickets: £42–£75 Line up N.E.R.D feat Pharrell Williams, Groove Armada, Friendly Fires, SMD, Ladyhawke, Fat Freddys Drop, Florence And The Machine and more Capacity 45,000. Lovebox.net WIN TICKETS! Text ‘MIXMAG BOX’ to 81066
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ensuring common ground and a primitive neighbourhood watch scheme. How to see the right acts Check the line-up, make a timetable and stick to it. You’re a Mixmag reader and you know who’s good. The larger your group, the harder it will be to keep together. Don’t try. Give your mates your timetable in case they disappear; that way you don’t have to wait around for them and miss Laurent Garnier. How to not get robbed Don’t take anything you can’t afford to lose. Do you really need an iPod at a music festival? Don’t leave anything valuable in your tent. At night, make sure your wallet, phone etc are in your sleeping bag with you, rather than in a pair of jeans by the tent flap. Get a chain for your wallet. Don’t lend jackets or phones to randoms in case you aren’t bestest friends forever after all.
july 23–27 the secret garden party Huntingdon, Cambridgeshire Tickets Child: free, teen: £110 +bf, adults: £137+bf Line-up Jarvis Cocker, Phoenix, Toddla T, Eddy Temple Morris, Caspa, Dan Black, Evil Nine, Thunderheist Capacity 10,000 www.secretgardenparty.com WIN TICKETS! Text ‘MIXMAG SECRET’ to 81066
How to maintain body heat Keep moving, keep dry and keep off the floor. Dance, and when you’ve got to drop, sit on something – scarves, hoodies, passed-out ravers – as cold ground saps heat. Eat high-energy food, little and often; raw jelly is a winner. When you hit the sack, get changed – cold sweat costs lives. How to smuggle booze Camp. No festival has the manpower to check every camper’s rucksack. A plastic bottle of spirits will fit nicely inside a rolled-up tent or sleeping bag. If you want to get all James Bond then The Beerbelly, a hollow pouch which straps to your stomach and holds four pints, costs £29.95 from www.firebox.com. Big super soakers can also carry a lot of liquid. How to protect your feet Wellies for rain, trainers for sun. Flip-flops will leave your feet looking like an abattoir floor and invite septicaemia. Fill your socks with talcum and change them often. Or, steal a golf buggy.
Duct tape For essential tent/bag repairs and securing comedy flags to poles. Aspirin/paracetomol The other essential pill. Mini Maglite torch Hang it round your neck. It’s your bestest friend. Safety pouch Ideal for international festivals to keep those tickets and passport where you can feel them. wind-up phone charger See our festival gadgets pages (p61). Sealable freezer bags For keeping stuff dry and for stashing stinky socks. Self-inflating camping bed They roll super-small and inflate on their own. Will add ‘two hours’ to any sleep achieved. Hand sanitising gel Not just for the obsessivecompulsive. This could stop you getting ill. Poncho Will keep you dry and also ideal for sitting on. Hip flask For medicinal purposes, of course.
How to find your mates Phones are useless, but a flag can be seen from miles off. Telescopic fishing poles make ideal masts, but anything long and, er, stiff will do, as long as the flag is firmly attached to it. If you are the only flag in the crowd, be prepared to become everyone else’s meeting point too! How to find the ‘secret’ gig Before you go, check forums for insider info. Avoid anywhere purpose-built for partying, stick to after-dark areas and explore. Costume shops, smoothie bars and rabbit warrens have all hosted secret gigs of late. Follow your ears. And Twitter.
july 24–25 global gathering Long Marston Airfield Tickets £115–£175+bf Line-up The Prodigy, Orbital and Pendulum (all live), AVB, PVD, Carl Cox, Above & Beyond, Eric Prydz, David Guetta, Sasha, Richie Hawtin, Dubfire and many more Capacity 55,000. www.global gathering.co.uk WIN TICKETS! Text ‘MIXMAG GLOBAL’ to 81066
july 24–26 camp bestival Lulworth Castle, Dorset Tickets £100–£130 Line-up Aeroplane, Annie Mac, Andy C & Mc Gq, Boys Noize, Erol Alkan, Rob Da Bank, Skream, Greg Wilson Capacity 20,000. Camp bestival.net WIN TICKETS! Txt ‘MIXMAG CAMPBES’ to 81066
naki, shab notghi
Glasto: come prepared
How to avoid toxic toilets Sometimes not even Immodium wil stem the tide. If you’re near civilisation, head off-site early morning or late afternoon to beat the crowd. On site, the bogs near first aid should be clean as a whistle, and ones by the gates may get less use. PS – bring bog roll. See all those people walking around with one sock? Think about it.
Well done, you remembered the loo roll. Now go back and get these
31 july–2 august standon calling Standon, Hertfordshire Tickets £70–£90 Line-up Late Of The Pier, Super Furry Animals, Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip Capacity 3,000 www. standon-calling.com WIN TICKETS! Text ‘MIXMAG STAND’ to 81066
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