Philadelphia City Paper, March 22nd, 2012

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9TH AND PASSYUNK AVENUE

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cpstaff We made this

Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Samantha Melamed Web Editor/Food Editor Drew Lazor Arts Editor/Copy Chief Emily Guendelsberger Associate Editor/Movies Editor Josh Middleton Senior Writer Isaiah Thompson Staff Writer Daniel Denvir Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Janet Anderson, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Nancy Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Justin Bauer, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Anthony Campisi, Ryan Carey, Jane Cassady, Mark Cofta, Felicia D’Ambrosio, Jesse Delaney, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Cindy Fuchs, K. Ross Hoffman, Brian Howard, Deni Kasrel, Gary M. Kramer, Gair “Dev 79” Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Cassie Owens, Michael Pelusi, Nathaniel Popkin, Robin Rice, Lee Stabert, Andrew Thompson, Tom Tomorrow, Char Vandermeer, John Vettese, Bruce Walsh, Julia West, Brian Wilensky Editorial Interns Beth Boyle, Chris Brown, James Friel, Michael Gold, Al Harris, Katie Linton, Abigail Minor, Courtney Sexton, Alexandra Weiss, Nina Wilbach Associate Web Editor/Staff Photographer Neal Santos Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Editorial Designer Matt Egger Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Office Manager/Sales Coordinator/Financial Coordinator Tricia Bradley (ext. 232) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Senior Account Managers Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Chris Scartelli (ext. 215), Donald Snyder (ext. 213) Marketing/Online Coordinator Jennifer Francano (ext. 252) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel

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contents Our glass is half full

Naked City ...................................................................................6 Arts & Entertainment.........................................................28 Movies.........................................................................................37 The Agenda ..............................................................................39 Food & Drink ...........................................................................47 COVER PHOTOGRAPH BY CHRISTINA M. FELICE/ CHRISTINAMFELICE.COM DESIGN BY RESECA PESKIN

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the thebellcurve CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ + 1]

After giving Ray Lewis a cease-and-desist order back in November, the Philly Police now say the retired captain will not face legal repercussions for wearing his old uniform to Occupy protests. “Makes me even prouder to wear it,” says Lewis,“knowing that decisions about the law are being made not at the legislative level by elected officials, but at the whims of my inconsistent and Taser-happy compatriots on the police force. Thank you for choosing to enforce the law in exactly the manner you currently see fit.”

[ -1 ]

UPenn law students get a cease-anddesist letter from Louis Vuitton for mimicking the designer’s work in their poster for a symposium on fashion law. “I am the law,” says Lord Vuitton, returning to Earth in the form of a omnipotent Tivoli classic tote with shoulder strap.

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A man hit by a SEPTA train in Hatfield manages to walk to a nearby Taco Bell for help. “For my next trick,” he says, stumbling up to the counter, “I will make a Doritos Locos Taco pass right through my body.” Occupy Philly members hand out food in Thomas Paine Plaza to protest Mayor Nutter’s proposed ban on feeding homeless people in parks. And Nutter honestly has a problem with this: Well-meaning people giving food to other people who are hungry — oh, gross. Hair in my PBJ. Hair in my PBJ.

[ -1 ]

A dead miniature horse is found dumped on the street in Feltonville. Sorry, homeless. If you want to eat it, you’ll have to drag it indoors.

[ -1 ]

Famed medical ethicist Arthur Caplan is leaving UPenn to work for NYU. “They promised me an unlimited supply of drifters to just fuck around with in my lab,” he shrugs. “I’m making a monster that I plan to marry and then hunt for sport. Is that wrong?”

[0 ]

The “Black Madam,” jailed for performing illegal buttock-enhancement surgery, gets her bail cut from $10 million to $750,000. Sadly, the payment is in arrears.

This week’s total: 1 | Last week’s total: -5

ORGANIZED CHAOS: Penn guards rally ahead of a union vote, even as a second union pushes to represent them. EVAN M. LOPEZ

[ labor ]

UNION TRANSFER Last time Penn security guards tried to organize, the union sold them out. Now, they say they won’t take ‘no’ for an answer. By Jake Blumgart

T

he University of Pennsylvania’s outdoor security officers — the ones who stand watch or pedal around University City — are attempting to unionize, for the third time in seven years. The first time they went up against their employer — the behemoth, Conshohocken-based AlliedBarton — they had the backing of another international outfit: the 2.1-million-member Service Employees International Union (SEIU). In the clash between the two giants, the local workers were trampled. The D.C.-based SEIU split town without warning, leaving openly pro-union workers to face management’s wrath. The second time, they were blocked again — by another national union that deferred to SEIU. Now, SEIU wants to give it another shot, and so do the guards. But this time, the guards have selected a David to face AlliedBarton’s Goliath. They’re betting on the Philadelphia Security Officers Union (PSOU), a small, independent labor organization that won its first collective-bargaining agreement in 2011 at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, which also employs AlliedBarton guards. Whether PSOU will be able to accomplish what SEIU did not — to give the guards a voice in dealing with one of the nation’s largest private security contractors — remains to be seen. At a rally on Penn’s Locust Walk on March 15, security guards

spoke in turns through a bullhorn, outlining their grievances. “There is strong disregard for our basic needs: Our equipment is crappy … the bikes we ride don’t work,” said Corey Dowdle. “We have standby units that occupy a street corner for seven or eight hours, have to be out in a hurricane or a blizzard. And our health care is complete garbage: $100 co-pay per visit and $3,000 cutoff. One good accident or hospital trip and we are dead in the water.” But above all other considerations, the guards emphasized they want a seat at the negotiating table and protection from arbitrary management decisions. “Everything at AlliedBarton is on threat of losing your job,” said one guard, Garnet Grant. At the rally, workers carried signs evocative of the 1968 Memphis sanitation workers’ strike, reading: “I AM a huMAN.” Students led chants. A guard, Joshua Hupp, urged supporters to bombard Penn’s Division of Public Safety with emails. “The more they hear from you, the better chance we have of being heard in the upper echelons of this wonderful institution,” he shouted. Penn referred queries to AlliedBarton, which did not respond to multiple requests for comment. However, a March 17 letter from AlliedBarton vice president Jim Gorman sent to Penn guards declared neutrality — not to PSOU, but to SEIU organizing efforts. It pledged, “if a majority of AlliedBarton security officers in Philadelphia choose to authorize SEIU to represent them, we will … recognize the SEIU as the union representative.” That has drawn the ire of PSOU backers in the Penn security

“It’s all on threat of losing our jobs.”

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hostilewitness

[ a million stories ]

✚ OFF THE JOB

✚ THE LONGEST YARD

At a recent budget hearing, residents told City Council of Southwest Philadelphia’s many problems: crumbling infrastructure, disappearing civic groups, whole blocks slowly sinking. One thing it does have going for it, though: a workforce-assistance program, funded with a chunk of Philly’s federal Community Development Block Grant (CDBG) money and run by Southwest Community Development Corp. Whether that program will continue is uncertain. Southwest’s executive director, Donna Henry, told Council the Commerce Department had warned her it was defunding her $44,000 workforce program, which helps 400 people a year, including residents of a homeless shelter. Mayor Michael Nutter’s much-touted, much newer Philly Rising program, she argued, was getting priority. “The city is reinventing the wheel,” she said. Nutter’s spokesman, Mark McDonald, points out that CDBG funds for fiscal 2013 are at $38.3 million — just over half what they were a decade ago, and down 17 percent from last year (and that Philly Rising is not, in any case, CDBG-funded). “These are enormous cuts, so you just can’t keep doing all the things you were doing,” he says. “You’ve got to decide. Something’s got to go.” “Block grant” means the city decides what goes — and they’re not yet letting the public in on what, exactly, will be cut. But McDonald says that the cut to Southwest CDC and two other groups — The Lighthouse, Inc., and Parkside Association of Philadelphia — represents a “strategic” shift, away from workforce programs and toward commercial-corridor and small-business assistance. As for what else will be “strategically” excised from the budget, the city hasn’t decided just yet, says Paul Chrystie, spokesman for the Office of Housing and Community Development. “The city is —Samantha Melamed evaluating how it can best adapt.”

Once upon a time, long, long ago — during the Mayor Street era — a person living next to an unsightly vacant lot had one particularly enticing recourse to remedy the blight: He or she could potentially buy it, for a nominal fee, from the city, and turn it into a nice side yard. If it was privately owned and debt-ridden, the city would sometimes force a sheriff’s sale and turn it over to the neighbor. The idea, from the city’s perspective, was to outsource, at no cost, the upkeep of eyesores while making homeowners happy. Whether it all worked as it was supposed to is another question — allegations of favoritism and unagreed-upon development swirled. And as housing values began to climb in the late 2000s, the program quietly wound down. By the time Mayor Michael Nutter came into office, an unknown number of would-be lot-purchasers had wound up on a long backlog. “We were told the program was kind of put on hold,” says Neil Brecher, a Fishtown resident who applied for ownership of the lot next door to him in “2005 or 2006, I can’t remember exactly,” he says. “There was not an official letter, but periodically I’d follow up with a contact at the Redevelopment Authority just to find out if there had been any movement.” For years, the answer was simply “no.” Recently, through his own persistence, Brecher was able to purchase the lot for a nominal fee. It had taken about five years. That’s supposedly about to change:A draft policy for how the city will dispose of its vacant land contains, among other things, a new side-yard program. Whether or how it will differ from previous programs is unclear — mostly because the city’s Big Vacant Land Policy, itself expected for about a year, has yet to be unveiled. —Isaiah Thompson

twominuteswith 60

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… a political reformer

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JOHN KROMER

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³ KROMER DIDN’T WIN in his bid to be Philly’s “Last Sheriff ” (he had proposed to E VA N M . L O P E Z

dissolve the office if elected). But he did get inspired to co-author a book about it. City Paper: What about last May’s primary inspired you to write a book? John Kromer: The conventional wisdom is that the Democratic machine is unbeatable. One of my goals in producing this book was to encourage people to look at the data, which is free and online, and to use it with GIS [geographic information system] mapping. Looking at the results of the 2011 primary [in which insurgent Stephanie Singer handily beat party-endorsed longtime incumbent Marge Tartaglione for city commissioner] could give a real advantage to future challengers. CP: You write that Singer beat Tartaglione partly by sticking doggedly to a single,

effective message — the Deferred Retirement Option Plan — even though she found it (as we did) far less important than less-sexy, systemic issues with that office. JK: In terms of campaign strategy, it was the right approach to take, and that’s what worked. [Kromer’s race for sheriff against Jewell Williams] was more difficult — it wasn’t a DROP issue. Former Philly housing director, 2011 candidate for Philadelphia sheriff, co-author (with Andy Denison and Julie Proulx) of the Kindle book Money, Mojo and Votes: Political Reform and Election Reality in Philadelphia.

CP: What did you learn about money and campaign spending from that election? JK: That the party-endorsed candidates really didn’t raise very much of their own

money, their assumption being that the party ticket would carry them through. —Isaiah Thompson

EYES WIDE SHUT ³ PENNSYLVANIANS APPEAR TO be having

an eye-opening moment: Support for Republican Gov. Tom Corbett — whose recent suggestion that women undergoing a mandatory anti-abortion/ pre-abortion ultrasound “just have to close [their] eyes” went viral — is in a slump. Just 41 percent of respondents said they approved of Corbett’s performance in a Quinnipiac University poll released last week (down from 47 percent approval in December), with 41 percent disapproving. Corbett kept a low profile for much of his first year in office. But now Pennsylvanians are getting to know him, and many don’t like what they see: 48 percent of voters oppose mandatory ultrasounds (42 percent support them); 49 percent oppose his handling of a budget that cuts services to the poor and disabled (36 percent support them); and 65 percent oppose his proposed cuts to public universities. Even Republican officials are distancing themselves from what is shaping up to be an extreme right-wing agenda: 37 out of 112 original co-sponsors have dropped their names from the now-comatose ultrasound bill, which in some casses would require ultrasounds via vaginal probe. And the powerful Republican Senate Appropriations Committee chairman, Jake Corman, whose Centre County district is home to Penn State, has denounced the proposed $229 million cut to public universities. These are all issues that, ahem, touch Pennsylvanians. The conservative “free market” mantra polls well in the abstract, but the slow American learning curve picks up when it comes to implementation: Most Pennsylvanians (65 percent), for example, oppose Corbett’s school-voucher scheme. Pennsylvania Democrats, notoriously hard to love and, in some cases, incarcerated for corruption, are the logical beneficiaries of GOP overreach. But renewed public opposition to Republicans in Harrisburg poses less of a threat thanks to legislation signed by Corbett last week requiring voters to present photo ID, which an estimated 11 percent of Americans — disproportionately black, elderly, poor or students, or, in other words, disproportionately Democrats — don’t possess. Most Pennsylvanians have photo IDs and won’t mind presenting them at the polls. A Rasmussen poll reports 75 percent of Americans support voterID laws. It figures: The sole Corbett initiative with majority backing persecutes a minority. The Constitution bars the majority from taking civil rights from a minority. But with the majority suffering, dividing Pennsylvanians may be the only way Corbett can govern. ✚ Send feedback to daniel.denvir@citypaper.net

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By Daniel Denvir

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✚ Union Transfer

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<<< continued from page 6

force, many of whom are still bitter from SEIU’s last organizing drive in Philly. That effort began around 2005 with help from SEIU’s International D.C. headquarters, which brought in the activist group Jobs with Justice to provide ground support. For a while, things seemed to be progressing. Then, as City Paper reported in 2007, “SEIU pulled its three organizers off the Penn and Temple campuses. People the guards had been working with for two years simply vanished.� SEIU had struck a deal with AlliedBarton that would allow the union to easily organize security guards in other cities — if it left Philadelphia alone. The Jobs with Justice staffers stayed with the campaign and, together with the workers, won paid sick leave and wage increases for Penn guards. But in 2009, when the guards approached another union, Security Police Fire Professionals of America, they referred the guards back to SEIU. In the meantime, SEIU’s deal with AlliedBarton bore fruit: Thousands of officers in other cities gained union agreements. And now that SEIU wants to bring the campaign back to Philly — and AlliedBarton appears to be on board — PSOUaligned guards are outraged: “In the past two weeks, every Penn Walk and Penn Park security officer has been visited or called by SEIU. AlliedBarton gave SEIU our personal information without our knowledge,� they wrote in a statement. But SEIU’s effort may be too late. At Penn, at least 80 out of 100 guards have signed cards requesting PSOU representation, and a union election will be held on April 11. According to John Breese, assistant to the regional director at the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) in Philadelphia, AlliedBarton might not be able to force SEIU representation at this point. “Once a petition is filed, an employer would be precluded from recognizing another union,� he notes. AlliedBarton’s neutrality agreement with SEIU appears to be the latest in a series of soft-line deflections. Guards told CP that management recently began offering improved health-care plans and promotions to supervisory posts. The day before the rally, Hupp and several others had attended an NLRB hearing to confront another tactic. The company claimed the officers filing for union recognition are not an appropriate bargaining unit because they include corporals and sergeants. Supervisors are not covered under the National Labor Relations Act. The Penn guards came up with a way to circumvent the rule: The four guards in question offered to step down from their supervisory positions. “For four of us to go to a lower position should prove that this is not about the money,� Colin Koch told the crowd. The rally broke up amid cheers of “PSOU!� “The reason we are going with a small, unknown union is that we want to have a say,� Koch says. “The working man will be running this union.� Grant agrees. “PSOU is a union where we actually have a say in the negotiation and the contract, whereas with SEIU everything is done behind closed doors. They [would] give us a contract we have no input to. How do we know they actually

negotiated in good faith for us if we aren’t present?� At the Art Museum, PSOU secured wage increases of 8.5 percent in year one, and 14.5 percent over the course of the agreement: That’s close to a $2,000-per-year raise. Says Fabricio Rodriguez, a PSOU organizer, “In terms of collective-bargaining agreements, I don’t know what SEIU has, but PSOU has great contracts.� Still, SEIU has big plans for Philadelphia. A few SEIU representative were hanging around the fringes of the Penn rally last week. According to a flier one of them gave to City Paper, the union “is in the process of helping over 3,000 Philadelphia security officers gain union recognition.� The current campaign is in the hands of SEIU Local 32BJ’s Mid-Atlantic district, not the

“The working man will be running this union.â€? International that pulled out six years ago. But the letter does not offer details like, say, where those 3,000 guards work or whether they’ve actually been unionized yet. CP contacted Wayne MacManiman, director of 32BJ Mid-Atlantic, to ask about his union’s position on the PSOU unionization drive at Penn, and the status of SEIU’s ongoing campaign. He responded with a statement: “Standards in the private security industry must be raised. ‌ The best way to achieve that goal is for security officers in Philadelphia to unite throughout the city and stand together to win the respect they deserve.â€? That certainly sounds like SEIU would like to incorporate PSOU into its fold. But the Penn guards say they’re set on maintaining their independence. “We are out here 24/7 to protect the Penn community and the surrounding neighborhoods,â€? Hupp says. “We seek basic things: a conversation with management.â€? (editorial@citypaper.net)

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[ the public square ]

HUNGER GAMES Mayor Nutter’s crusade against outdoor feeding on the Parkway is shaping up to be a lonely battle. By Isaiah Thompson

I

t’s been a long week since Mayor Michael Nutter announced a new city regulation banning “outdoor feeding” — a funny phrase (one not of the mayor’s invention) that refers to the giving of food to human beings, not pigeons — in city parks. The context, though not mentioned in Nutter’s announcement, was obvious: For at least two decades, volunteer groups have showed up regularly on the Benjamin Franklin Parkway to distribute meals to whomever shows up to eat them, mostly homeless people. A couple weeks earlier, the city’s Board of Health had proposed its own rule requiring that anyone distributing food get permits, pass inspections and meet certain health standards — some obvious in their practicality (they’d have to wear gloves) and others not so much (they’d have to submit menus in advance). Even less obvious — or much more, depending on how you look at it — is the timing of all of this: The Board of Health hasn’t mentioned a single instance of foodborne illness in those who receive meals from these volunteers. The mayor has characterized his move as “increasing the health, safety, dignity and support for those vulnerable individuals” who, “regardless of their station in life, should be able to sit down at a table to a meal — inside.” But he has so far offered no funding, no plan and no vision for how that might be accomplished (several indoor meal programs have, in fact, vanished over the past few years). Instead, the mayor offered the apron of City Hall as a temporary one-year site

for “feeding” — a move that could either be interpreted as generous or as evidence of a less charitable underlying desire: to move the homeless off the Parkway before the Barnes re-opens at its new museum site May 19. (Even Project H.O.M.E.’s Sister Mary Scullion, who stood next to the mayor when he announced the policy, told City Paper, “Of course this is totally about the Barnes.”) Now a revolt is under way. By the morning after the announcement, several members of City Council — Kenyatta Johnson, Cindy Bass and Jannie Blackwell — were criticizing the mayor’s policy on the Council floor. Blackwell was particularly irate: She blasted the policy as “negative” and urged the mayor to invest more in the city’s shelter system. (In fact, the mayor has proposed allocating an additional $1 million to the Office of Supportive Housing, which runs the city’s homeless programs, but that’s in the face of possible millions of dollars in cuts from the state.) A much louder outcry came from outside City Hall, where a smoldering forest fire of opposition has united anarchists and church groups, and just might have roused Occupy Philly from its winter lull. A March 15 Board of Health meeting saw more than 100 people from different walks of life amass outside the Municipal Services Building to testify against the board’s rule and, by proxy, the mayor’s regulation as well. When officials announced only 40 people would be let in at a time, the crowd morphed into a full-on protest. Inside the meeting, Caroline Steinberg of the North Philly chapter of Food Not Bombs, an activist group that serves free vegetarian meals, pointed out — rather effectively, in a time of dwindling resources — that her group provides a service that “doesn’t cost [the city] a dime.” Brian Jenkins, head of the religious coalition Chosen 300 Ministries, which runs outdoor and indoor meal programs for more

“Of course this is about the Barnes.”

[ the naked city ]

than 300 people per day, was blunt: “We are not leaving,” he told the board. “This is not about a health issue. This is about getting homeless off the Parkway.” All this leaves the mayor in an awkward place indeed. In his announcement, the mayor said he had “created a working group of external stakeholders” to come up with a long-term solution — but that group turned out to have no members yet, and the mayor seems to have alienated many potential stakeholders. His seeming alliance with Project H.O.M.E., meanwhile, is not a given. Scullion told CP she supports the mayor’s policy only if it increases in resources for the homeless, a position shared by the Rev. Bill Golderer of Broad Street Ministries, which seeks to expand its popular indoor meal program to nine meals a week. So far, the mayor has not made it clear what, if anything, he has to offer resourcewise. Meanwhile, he’s laid out a one-month timeline for clearing feeding off the Parkway — and a one-year timeline for implementing a solution that, as of now, is entirely unknown. (isaiah.thompson@citypaper.net)

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RIVER WARS Philly finally has a plan for the Delaware River waterfront — if only it can be realized. By Samantha Melamed

O

f all Philadelphia’s urban-planning puzzles, resuscitating the post-industrial Delaware River waterfront has been perhaps the most frustrating. Take Penn’s Landing: By 1989, the Inquirer was complaining that the 37-acre “landfill” had already sustained 20 straight years of development failures. More than two decades later, not much has changed. This month, though, the Philly City Planning Commission (PCPC) formally adopted a glossy new $770 million plan for six miles of waterfront between Oregon and Allegheny avenues. The plan alone was $1 million and two-and-a-half years in the making. But with so many past fiascos, the question remains: Can this vision, finally, be realized? Alan Greenberger, chairman of the PCPC, admits it won’t be easy: “The design was purposely intended to be at a pretty high aspirational level, but with a pretty high level of value if we can pull off these moves.” It’s a gamble that depends not only on the city, but also on a business community wary after decades of false starts. The city and the Delaware River Waterfront Corp. (DRWC), the private nonprofit that led the planning process, together own only about 10 percent of the land within the plan’s boundaries, according to DRWC’s Sarah Thorp. The rest is in the hands of private developers, and whether they can be sold on the plan is not yet certain. Among the loudest detractors is Jim Anderson, who owns 57 acres and says the plan would run a road through his property, segmenting it into 13 lots. Right up until the plan was adopted, there were rumors Anderson might manage to get his land exempted. Kevin Feeley, spokesman for Anderson, says the plan will inhibit development: “Whatever happens, clearly it’s not something that’s going to happen for at least 15 or 20 years. Why cloud the title of the property? … Imagine having to sell [with those restrictions].” Neil Sklaroff, Anderson’s attorney, adds, “There are important things yet to come to determine whether this plan will be realized.” That’s because, while the waterfront plan is now an official guideline, it’s the waterfront zoning overlay — still in the process of being crafted — that will eventually become law. And Greenberger says that, while the PCPC refused to exempt Anderson’s land from the plan, in zoning they “may take a less definitive approach to some of the properties at either end, whose future is still not so clear.” “The time will have to come. For some of these properties, the time’s not now,” he says. Still, he adds, there’s plenty the city can do right away. “We can demonstrate that the value proposition is a real one, and when developers see that value, they tend to show up. The best way to prove the point is for us to do it at our own property.” Thorp notes that some of that work is already underway. This year brings development of a new connecting trail between Spring Garden and Penn streets and a recreation pier near Washington Avenue in South Philly. As for the eternally doomed Penn’s Landing, DRWC is looking to begin at the “basin” between Walnut and South streets with low- and mid-rise mixed-use development, before eventually adding an enormous open park. “The theory is that if we do the basin first and it generates awareness and interest, and brings people to the waterfront, then it will help get the financing and interest needed to develop the rest of the waterfront,” Thorp says. First District Councilman Mark Squilla believes if all goes according to plan, things could then begin moving relatively quickly. Which means, he points out, that retaining a public voice will be more crucial than ever. Squilla says he has been lobbying the mayor (so far unsuccessfully) to appoint citizen board members to the DRWC. He says he has not been offered a seat on the board either, even though the plan’s footprint lies entirely within his district and his ability to

ON THE WATERFRONT: The plan for Penn’s Landing includes lowand mid-rise development, as well as a large waterfront park. DELAWARE RIVER WATERFRONT CORP.

bring landowners to the table may prove critical. “Some of the sites along the waterfront are really too small,” Squilla says. “We need to talk to landowners about combining parcels and trying to attract developers. That’s why this is a good time to have community input.” Matt Ruben, chairman of the Central Delaware Advocacy Group, a coalition of civic organizations, says it’s public involvement that so far has set this plan apart from past failures. But it’s that same civic-organizing, design-critiquing public that has antagonized certain landowners (or, as Ruben contends, speculators, who he says have been a drag on the river since the 1990s, when Mayor Ed Rendell was floating the idea of riverboat casinos). “People are making plans with property that isn’t theirs,” grouses one landowner, who says he’s used to being stymied by waterfront groups — and that a more business-friendly climate would do more for development than any park. “These plans are a waste of time and money, and these parks are a waste of time and money.” He’s especially sour on the dressed-up Race Street Connector and similar underpass redesigns, which he says are no match for the barrier of I-95. Diana Lind of the nonprofit Next American City, which has been advocating for the dismantling of the interstate in Center City, tends to agree. “I don’t want to say this master plan is going to fail because of I-95, but I think it’s vastly handicapped by it,” she says. Still, Greenberger sees the revamped Race Street Pier park as an early victory, and a bargain at $6.5 million. “We got a lot of value for it. If we could do 10 more of those things, I’d be thrilled,” he says. With so many differing opinions, how will we even know if the waterfront plan is a success? Paul Levy, chief executive of the Center City District, says it’s a matter of creating the infrastructure — and then being patient. “When the national economy comes back, you’ll start seeing interest in sites along the waterfront, but that’s not the yardstick we should be measuring by,” he says. “I’m more focused on the public amenities, because once you create an attractive place, people will want to develop there.” (samantha@citypaper.net)

“For some properties, the time’s not now.”

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It was an awkward scene, and nerve-racking, but relatively painless compared to some teenagers’ coming-out stories. His folks were supportive and all that. “At one point while they were waiting for the dealer I was like, ‘Look, there’s something I want to tell you,’” he remembers with a laugh. Coming out to the rest of the world was a lot more stressful. Even though he’s been in a relationship with the same guy for years and has been telling personal stories — more or less true, save for the pronouns — every night on stage at comedy clubs for even longer, he’d still kept his sexuality under wraps. He’d tipped off a few close friends, but that was it. Hiding that part of his life was a strain, but he was comfortable with the way things were. He was a gay comedian playing a straight man, so to speak, and so long as the bits were funny, what was the harm, right? That started to change a few months ago when he heard yet another news story about a gay teen committing suicide. He’s not even sure which one pushed him over the edge, but it led him to YouTube, where he found similar stories of gay kids bullied and ostracized. He started wondering how many more tragedies were going untold. Was it hundreds? Thousands? Suddenly he wasn’t so comfortable anymore. “I just thought, if I’m hiding it, I’m giving validity to the [notion] that it’s something worth hiding,” he recalls. Glass has his own podcast — the increasingly well-regarded Todd Glass Show — but chose to come out to the world on another, Marc Maron’s wildly popular WTF. A veteran comic like Glass, Maron has become something of a neurotic, foulmouthed Barbara Walters to the comedy world, spending an hour or more each episode prying into the inner workings of his guest. It’s a funny show sometimes but, more importantly, it’s become the de facto place for comedians to go to get serious and personal. “I cannot listen to stories about kids killing themselves any longer without thinking [to myself], ‘When are you going to have a little blood on your shirt for not being honest about who you are?’” he told Maron on the Jan. 16 episode of WTF. His message was as much one of positivity for the gay youths in the audience as it was a stern scolding for the homophobic adults and bullies who make their lives unbearable.

RAISED IN PAOLI

, Glass (now in his mid-40s) remembers driving into Philly with his high school buddies to catch shows by thenrising stars like Jerry Seinfeld, Garry Shandling, Roseanne Barr and Eddie Murphy at the late, lamented Comedy Works. Glass first took the stage at an open-mic night at age 16. “Thirty acts would go up, maybe. I went on at like 1 in the morning to do five minutes, and I don’t know when I thought, ‘I’m gonna do this the rest of my life,’ but I knew I loved it right away. Not only did I love doing standup, I loved hanging out with standups,” he says. “They tend to be the opposite of bullies.” When he broke it to his parents about his chosen career path, they were again very supportive. “They were thrilled I was doing comedy. Because they found out I could do something. I was really bad in school. I had really bad dyslexia. “Looking back, my parents were probably like, ‘What’s this kid going to do his whole life?’ I was flunking everything. I flunked second grade. The only reason I kept getting advanced was I think my teachers liked me. They pushed me forward because they felt bad.” When faced with the comedian’s dilemma of moving to New York or Los Angeles to further his career, Glass settled on L.A. — mostly because he already had an ally out there in Steve Young, the owner of the Comedy Works in Philly. That was 1990. Since then, Glass has taken to calling both Philly and L.A. his hometown. The repercussions of his dyslexia still pop up in his daily life. He can’t think of a book he’s read all the way through. He never writes anything down. If something funny occurs to him, he records it into his phone to be transcribed by an assistant. It might also have influenced his unique approach to comedy, which is short on wordplay and slick punch lines. Instead, his stories often unspool in a series of tangents, until you suddenly realize he’s self-interrupted his way into several layers of asides. And while the audience is still laughing at a bit, he’s already commenting on whether or not it worked. It’s smart, and funny as hell — just not linear. Being an out comedian, meanwhile, hasn’t changed things much yet. “My act is pretty much 100 percent the same. You know, I’ll stop referencing girlfriends. But all my jokes about girlfriends were true stories, I just changed the sex. Which, by the way, if that doesn’t prove how much same-sex marriages are the same as regular marriages. … Not once in my life did I tell a relationship joke and have an audience not relate.” “I’m sure that I’ll get to a point when I talk about it [onstage]. That’ll happen. It hasn’t happened yet. But I’m not going up on stage and lying, I’m just not tapping in to certain things. … I want it to be funny and I want it to be organic.” “By the way, I thought of a new word for ‘gay.’ I thought instead of ‘gay,’ I could change it to ‘great.’ That’s so much easier to say. You could just go, ‘Look, there’s something I want to tell you: I’m great. I’ve been a great for a long time. I thought it might weird you out if I told you how great I was. … I’ve known I’m great since I was 12.’”

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CHANCES ARE, TODD GLASS IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO S TOLD HIS PARENTS HE S GAY AT THE NISSAN DEALERSHIP IN DEVON.

“If you are homophobic, you better be positive you’re right. Because isn’t it going to blow [that] all these kids are killing themselves, and … in 20 years you get to write a book about how wrong you were. They’re dead. So why don’t you have a soul-searching moment now? Go into your house, shut the door and make sure you’re positive that you’re [not just] making kids feel like crap for no good goddamn reason.” “Yes, I feel lighter,” Glass says now. “I don’t have to go through the rest of my life being honest in increments here and there. I could go through my life being honest. I’m not going to die going, ‘What did I do while I was here?’”

15

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WHEN GLASS S WELL-MEANING

friends tell him it’s a “shame” we live in a society where he’d feel obligated to declare his sexuality, he tells them he gets it but he doesn’t agree. “I always say to them, ‘No, no, no. You’re trying to be open-minded, and you are, but I say I publicly hid it, so I had to publicly come out.’” He balks at being called a public figure. He knows he’s not a household name — though you might recognize his face from a number of comedy specials, not to mention appearances on everything from Last Comic Standing to Home Improvement to The Sarah Silverman Program — but he’s very aware that

the podcasting audience skews young. He figured he owed it to them. “When you’re a child, you look up to an adult as an authoritative figure. That’s why it’s so barbaric when an adult [says homophobic things]. You’re killing people, literally. Or if you don’t kill them literally, you just bash the shit out of their soul,” he says. “It’s hard enough to tell your parents when you know they’re very open-minded. I can only fucking imagine how hard it is to tell your parents when you’ve heard them say horrible things.” When it comes to those adults, Glass has no delusions that he’ll pry open a rusted-shut mind. “If someone is incredibly homophobic, I’m probably not going to change their views. But I guess my goal is to take people that are 90 percent open-minded and have them go that extra 10.” As an undeclared gay man, he was privy to the secret conversations of self-identified liberal straight people for years. He’s heard them express shock and disgust at stories of gay-bashing and teens driven to suicide. He’s also heard them come up with what they believe are logical reasons why gay people shouldn’t get married or adopt children. He figures that’s the last 10 percent of homophobia their minds are clinging to. “A lot of people think that last 10 percent isn’t homophobic, but I don’t know what to call it,” he says. “It doesn’t make them feel awesome when you’re holding back that 10 percent. Doesn’t make a kid overhearing you feel awesome. And if your goal is to make a young child feel fucking awesome about who he is, go that last 10 percent. Go for it. Fucking try it.” ■ (pat@citypaper.net) ✚ Todd Glass performs Thu., March 22, 8 p.m.; Fri., March 23, 7:30 p.m. and 10 p.m.;

Sat., March 24, 7:30 (sold out) and 10 p.m.; $16-$33; Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St., 215-496-9001, heliumcomedy.com.

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icepack By A.D. Amorosi

³ DOESN’T LIFE SEEM better now that the

sun is beaming and your skin is flushed? That your buddies are back from South by Southwest and that they got all those awful new songs out of their systems? That the green hangover from the double dose of St. Patty’s Day weekends has subsided and that Rita’s Water Ice ads are finally running? Welcome to Philly’s early spring, the very best spring there is. ³ Last week, Icepack dropped the first word that the Farmers’ Cabinet (well, its owners) takeover of the former Transit spot at Sixth and Spring Garden is dead. This weekend, I hear that the Cabinet’s CEOs are taking over the just-closed Blue Bear Tavern on S. 11th Street for something down-homey, in terms of cuisine. What, no tiki? ³ On March 25, Lady and its forceof-nature frontgal Kate Foust start a monthly residency at MilkBoy Philly dedicated to ... ladies. The band and other locals will perform tributes to Nina Simone, Björk and a mixed bag of other great babes. “To me, these artists represent the best of what women bring to music: creativity, sexuality, vulnerability and undeniable power,” says Foust. “I asked Ron [Gallo, of Toy Soldiers] to be a part of it because I know he loves the voices of powerful women — you don’t have to be a lady to appreciate ladies.” Amen, sister. ³ Philly’s biggest names don’t always get what they want: Southwest-Philly-born director Lee Daniels (Precious) may not get to reboot Valley of the Dolls as a miniseries after all. Tiger LLC, which represents the estate of Valley scribe Jacqueline Susann, filed a lawsuit last week against 20th Century Fox stating that Fox and NBC,the network set to run the miniseries, waived its rights to adapt the kitschy novel for the small screen back in the ’90s. ³ Stephen Starr’s NYC operations suffered a small blow when Residents for Responsible Restaurants in the West Village rejected his plan to turn the tiny, one-time Paris Commune space into a bigger restaurant with liquor. Sounds too clubby for the haters, apparently. ³Theater gossip: InterAct PR guy David Golston is leaving his post to move home to Kansas City with his partner, Daniel; managing director Anneliese Van Arsdale will hold down the promo fort. Theatre Exile snagged a new GM in Danielle Rose just in time to keep squeamish audiences calm during April’s upcoming production of A Behanding in Spokane. Philadelphia Theater Company announced the first $10,000 winner of their Terrence McNally New Play Award: Bill Cain, whose Unvarnished is about Thomas Eakins. And Bruce Graham’s The Outgoing Tide premieres through PTC at the Suzanne Roberts Theater this weekend. ³ More ice at citypaper. net/criticalmass, precious. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

DOG STARS: The Philly band plays two shows at the Electric Factory this Saturday and Sunday.

[ rock/pop ]

OFF THE CHAIN Infused with new blood, Dr. Dog runs wild on Be the Void. By A.D. Amorosi

Y

ou probably think you know the deal with Dr. Dog. Lead songwriters Scott McMicken and Toby Leaman like to keep their harmonies flowing and make their pure-pop sound a psychedelic one. The West Grove, Pa.-based band may not be mining Pet Sounds with its decidedly lo-fi aesthetic, but it has warped the flower power of the 1960s into something strangely introspective, intricate and quirked-out. If Guided By Voices started touring the jam-band circuit, they’d be comparable to what Dr. Dog had wrought from its 1999 start through to 2010’s Shame, Shame. Then a funny thing happened on the way to their seventh record, this year's bolder, brighter and more rhythmically driven Be the Void (Anti-). All of a sudden, Leaman, McMicken and the rest of Dr. Dog are getting raw, making moves based on intuition rather than musicianship. It’s freer than anything they've put together before. To an extent, you can credit the newest members, multi-instrumentalist Dmitri Manos and drummer Eric Slick. “For the record, Be the Void had more input from all of our members than ever before,” says McMicken, who writes the songs with Leaman before presenting them to the band. In particular, it is Slick — a School of Rock alum known for playing with his sister Julie in Adrian Belew’s

Power Trio — whose mix of Gene Krupa-like swing and Keith Moon-y propulsion has buoyed Dr. Dog to new brashness. McMicken thought he’d met Slick at Bonnaroo in 2008 but the drummer remembers it happening a year earlier. “No, we met at FYE on Broad Street when you guys did an in-store for We All Belong,” laughs Slick. “I introduced myself to you afterwards and I made you sign my dictionary. Several weeks later, we were at Jam on the River — I was in my friend’s Led Zep cover band Bustle in Your Hedgerow and you guys played right after us.” Slick has been a Dog fan since 2005’s Easy Beats. The drummer claimed it was more than what he’d heard — it was a feeling the album gave him. There was an honesty about Dr. Dog, a humility. “They grabbed my ear and never let go. They resonated.” McMicken recalls having caught Slick at that aforementioned Bonnaroo while the drummer played dumbek with a belly-dance act (“We may have been paying more attention to the dancers,” laughs McMicken) and at one of the School of Rock’s nights Devo covers. “I knew Eric was a serious musician with a capital “S” but I didn’t know how serious until we played with him. The role of drums is the most important part of the arrangement. Once you’ve written the song, once it exists, The drums are it. From there, we’re totally connected.”

“The more people you have that get it, the more you are adding to the Voltron.”

>>> continued on page 30

the naked city | feature

[ wants to go chase birds ] ³ compilation/meow

It’s not one of Hitchcock’s most profound works, but To Catch a Thief makes up in charm what it lacks in substance. Paramount’s just-released Blu-ray is a stunning improvement to the film’s candycoated palette, as retired burglar Cary Grant scales the rooftops of the French Riviera and tries to get a leg over Grace Kelly, too. The high-def transfer finally does justice to the original VistaVision format, making it well worth the upgrade. —Sam Adams

Preservation Tapes No. 3 is subtitled “Songs About Cats,” which is a purr-fectly accurate description. If that gives you hives, stay far away: Though the 20 tracks are a mixed bag of prickly, graceful and lazy lo-fi, more than a few feature felines on backing vocals. Most songs are dedicated to particular kitties (Crabapple’s “George,” Bad Braids’ “Ode to Fig”) or their hobbies (Eden Sela’s “I Want to Go Chase Birds,” Eric Brehm’s Coalition of the Beautiful’s “Shit in a Box”). Benefits the Philadelphia Animal Welfare Society and Emoda Gallery (preservationtapes.bandcamp.com). —M.J. Fine

³ hip-hop The Get Up is feel-good hip-hop, though not exactly in tone or content. Instead, Temple’s Ground Up has captured the visceral excitement of the cypher — passing the baton, shifting your gaze across the circle to see if the next MC is about to rip it. The beats don’t seem to be going in the same direction; it works because the cypher doesn’t discriminate. But, stylistically, who are these cats, really? The mixtape leaves us intrigued. The Ground Up play the TLA on Saturday (March 24, livenation.com). —Cassie Owens

flickpick

By David Fox

FAMILY FEUD

³ pop Gotye — Belgian-born Australian Wally

de Backer — gets compared to Sting and Peter Gabriel, and not only for his sound. You just don’t see many smart, sensitive, internationally minded, brazenly eclectic (and male) pop artists these days. Hugely ambitious and even more hugely successful, Making Mirrors (Universal Republic) is simply immaculate. In another era, some of these songs would be massive singles. And, hey, it could still happen — this Friday’s show at the TLA sold out so fast it was moved to the Tower. Original tickets will be honored. If you’ve got one, either be mad you have to trek out to Upper Darby or glad you bought early: When the venue changed, the price nearly tripled after fees (March 23, livenation.com). —K. Ross Hoffman

[ movie review ]

THE HUNGER GAMES [ B ] LEAN, BREATHLESSLY PACED and gritty in a YA way, the first of Suzanne

³ SAM SHEPARD, AMERICA’S playwright and poet laureate of the modern West, is in his best form in Curse of the Starving Class, a searingly funny-sad take on family dysfunction. Curse dates from the late ’70s, but isn’t often revived — it’s a pleasure to see it mounted at the Wilma in a generally strong production. On its surface, Curse is structured like a farce. Ella and Weston Tate are a feuding middle-aged married couple living on an isolated patch of California farmland, each quietly scheming to sell the property out from under the other. The darker secondary plot involves their troubled children, Emma and Wesley, who (as the names suggest) seem destined to follow their parents’ rocky paths — as Emma puts it so tellingly, the family legacy is nitroglycerine in the blood. Curse may be Shepard’s most straightforward play, but it’s full of his distinctive voice. Language and visual images are fragmented, capturing a haunting, iconic landscape of Americana: broken-down cars, empty refrigerators, lost opportunities. This is part of the play’s greatness, but it’s very difficult to get it just right. Director Richard Hamburger does especially well in capturing Shepard’s complex tonal mix. In the fine cast, Bruce McKenzie (Weston) shines especially, as do five quirky local actors — David Blatt, Keith Conallen, Sam Henderson, Peter Schmitz and Ed Swidey — whose idiosyncrasies are memorably used in small roles. Nate Miller (Wesley) and Keira Keeley (Emma) act well, but both look far too mature to play impressionable teenagers, which softens some of the play’s edges. The play’s other star is Matt Saunders’ set, which is a mixed bag — it’s visually stunning, but the vast open spaces dilute the sense of containment and high-octane energy. (d_fox@citypaper.net)

29

✚ Through April 8, $39-$56, Wilma Theater, 265 S. Broad St., 215-546-7824, wilmatheater.org.

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Collins’ bestselling trilogy of novels arrives on the screen in an adaptation that lacks the charm and humor of the Harry Potter series, but is far less groan-inducing than those hormonally driven vampires. The Hunger Games is designed to take over from the boy wizard and Twilight as the latest crowd-mongering savior of Hollywood, and as such director Gary Ross seems overly keen on pleasing the books’ legions of fans. At times this comes off more like a dutiful parade of incidents meant to cram in everyone’s favorite moments than a cinematic reimagination of the story. Though powerfully portrayed by Jennifer Lawrence in the star turn promised by Winter’s Bone, Katniss Everdeen is too often saved not by her resourcefulness, but by transparent plotting and luck. For the unfamiliar, The Hunger Games is like Kinji Fukasaku’s Battle Royale as rewritten by the Occupy movement: In a future dystopia, povertystricken districts are annually punished for a failed rebellion by being forced to sacrifice children in a fight-to-the-death competition televised for the benefit of the Capitol’s 1-percenters (garishly dressed like extras from the “Rock Me Amadeus” video). The early scenes, divided between Katniss’ monochrome coal-mining hometown and the dissolute, vibrantly colored pseudo-Rome where she’s guided into the Games by drunken mentor Woody Harrelson and an unrecognizable Elizabeth Banks, are the film’s most effective, lent urgency by Ross’s restless, hand-held camera. The Game itself actually slows the pace after its chaotic, brutal opening moments, with the stakes never seeming high enough and interesting avenues never adequately explored. Still, Lawrence crafts a compelling character one who’s welcome amidst the usual summer noise. —Shaun Brady

Welcome amidst the usual summer noise.

VIOLET FEMME: While director Gary Ross takes every pain to stay true to its source, his adaptation of the first book of the Hunger Games trilogy could have benefitted from a little reimagining.

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[ disc-o-scope ]

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✚ Off the Chain

<<< continued from page 28

“I suddenly knew that there wasn’t anything that we couldn’t do.” They didn’t connect solely because of stellar musicianship: Dog and Slick quickly interlocked because of instinct, the trust they felt in each other. “There was an excitement from the first moment we played together, as friends and as players,” McMicken says about Slick. Much like they did throughout our conversation, the pair finished each others’ thoughts, personally and musically. “It was just instinctual, our connection,” says McMicken. The singer-songwriter goes on to say there is something intangible about how everyone wound up in this band, McMicken and Leamon included. “It’s beyond how well people play or how much everyone likes the song or the style: It’s that intuitive level of comfort amongst the players, how we feel around each other.” With that, McMicken calls Dr. Dog as much a philosophical outlet for like-minded people as a musical sanctuary. He knows that sounds lofty, even silly. But he believes that shared enthusiasm made Be the Void the band’s strongest album to date. “The more people you have that get it, the more you are adding to the Voltron. Plus, Eric kills it.”

[ arts & entertainment ]

Along with killing it, Slick and Manos spurred Dr. Dog to change. Rather than continue to root the band in its baroque psychedelic styling, the new blood opened up the songwriters’ mindsets. “In the wake of bringing in Eric and Dmitri, I definitely didn’t have a vision of what this band could do — rather I suddenly knew that there wasn’t anything that we couldn’t do,” says McMicken. “As a songwriter I was freer than before. The band was more collaborative within that than ever before. That was a new wrinkle, and Eric was a large part of that.” Slick laughs when he hears that. “I’ve never been called a new wrinkle. I’m going to use that as my business card.” (a_amorosi@citypaper.net) ✚ Dr. Dog plays Sat., March 24 (sold

out), and Sun., March 25, 8:30 p.m., $30.85, with Birds of Maya, Electric Factory, 421 N. Seventh St., 215-6271332, electricfactory.info.

MEL EPPS

THE UNSINKABLE JOAN MYERS BROWN

Joan Myers Brown, left, and Brenda Dixon Gottschild.

be interesting … and how she tied them in to me, because of the era.” Audacious Hope’s rich, detailed descriptions give a genuine sense of the way things were — both of the recitals, cotillions and ballet schools of the early 20th century and the racism of the era. Gottschild thinks of it as “practicing social artistry … writing about art, but trying to put it in this sociocultural context, and to help people understand how much the arts — and for me, dance — [are] a highly charged sociopolitical phenomenon.” Racism prevented Brown from becoming the professional ballerina she yearned to be, leading her to start her own dance company and school. Audacious Hope offers abundant insights into how those two entities developed over time while exploring how Brown’s character permeates her company’s demeanor and aesthetic. (“I’ve never met anyone who has more fully lived their life in dance,” Gottschild marvels.) Like its founder, Philadanco is a lively combination of attitude, rigorous professionalism, show-biz élan and old-school elegance. Brown and Gottschild have teamed up to promote the book and crowds are common. “Joan has touched so many lives, it’s scary,” says

✚ Lecture and signing Tue., March 27, 6 p.m., free, Conwell Dance Theater, Temple University, 1801 N. Broad St., 215-204-8307, temple.edu/boyer.

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Gottschild. For her part, Brown is pleasantly surprised by how many folks want to buy a book focusing on her life and work. “I thought my friends bought ’em because they know me, but other people have bought the book because they’re really interested.” Maybe they think it’s a dirty-laundry tell-all? “No, I don’t think so,” assures Brown. “That’s the book I’m gonna write.”

A new book details the Audacious Hope of the Black Ballerina. By Deni Kasrel hen dance scholar and author Brenda Dixon Gottschild told Joan Myers Brown she wanted to do a book about black dance in Philadelphia with Brown as the central figure, the octogenarian founder and director of Philadelphia Dance Company (better known as Philadanco) wasn’t convinced much would come of it. “A book,” says Brown, “sometimes ends up being a paper.” Despite her skepticism, Brown let Gottschild — a professor emerita of Dance Studies at Temple and author of three other books on dance — pick through photos and other items she’d saved over her career, talk to her staff, dancers, colleagues and other insiders, attend rehearsals and classes and interview her. Interview her a lot, as Brown is quick to emphasize: “She’s, like, ‘Can I come over? Can I talk to you?’ And I’m, like, ‘OK, here she is again. …’ But she persevered … and I was amazed at what she did.” The result is Joan Myers Brown & the Audacious Hope of the Black Ballerina: A Biohistory of American Performance (Palgrave Macmillan), a 340-pager tracing the history of the African-American concert-dance tradition in Philadelphia from the 1920s to the present. It’s an intricately researched investigation with revealing interviews drawn from the local dance community, including pioneers like Essie Marie Dorsey, Marion Cuyjet, John Hines and Billy Wilson. Even Brown learned things from those interviews: “A lot of people that I did know, I didn’t know their stories, so I found that to

[ arts & entertainment ]

the naked city | feature

[ dance/book ]

✚ NO EXCUSE TO BE INSIDE Check out our weekly stuff-to-do roundups on comedy, readings, shows, art and more on City Paper’s A&E blog, citypaper.net/criticalmass.

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[ arts & entertainment ]

curtaincall By Mark Cofta

³ ON THE NOSE Spectacle is modern theater’s fork in the road. Broadway musicals skew toward more and more elaborate and costly effects (SpiderMan) while plays, especially in regional theaters, demand economy. Classics, with their expensive period trappings and large casts, tend to get stuck in the middle, productions either minimized with abstract sets, modern dress and double-casting or just falling out of favor. The latter tended to be the case for Cyrano — even Anthony Burgess’s 1970 adaptation of the 1897 Edmond Rostand play Cyrano de Bergerac requires resources excessive for most companies. Fortunately, a new adaptation from playwright Michael Hollinger and director Aaron Posner at the Arden Theatre Company, streamlines the cast to nine (most in multiple roles) and cuts down to just enough enjoyable spectacle to emphasize that this isn't a play about spectacle, but a deeper, intimate story. The productions I’ve loved in the past (particularly those by the Royal Shakespeare Company and the Shaw Festival) also achieved this sense of balanced spectacle, albeit working against large casts, big sets and vast stages. This modern-feeling, audience-friendly adaptation is openly theatrical: Le Bret (Keith Randolph Smith), captain of the Gascony Cadets, not only narrates exposition but practically outlines the production’s multitasking ensemble style, urging, “Let us on your imaginary forces work.” For a story that’s essentially a fairy tale for adults, their approach — staged on Daniel Conway’s planked platform, lovingly lit by Thom Weaver — brings out its best qualities. So does Eric Hissom as the titular big-nosed, fantastically tal-

ented poet and duelist (simultaneously demonstrated in one scene). Though Cyrano’s incredibly intelligent and something of a superhero, at one point fighting a hundred men (a scene staged with brio and creativity by Dale Anthony Girard), he’s charmingly insecure in love. When Roxane (Jessica Cummings), whom he secretly adores, confesses her love for the newest cadet in the company, inarticulate hunk Christian (Luigi Sottile), Cyrano nobly not only agrees to protect him, but ends up facilitating the match — Roxane loves poetry, Christian has none, and Cyrano has an excess he’ll never share because he’s convinced no woman can tolerate his ugliness. Hollinger’s translation captures echoes of Rostand’s verse in key moments, but balances them with modern turns of phrase for a brisk accessibility. When Christian confesses he’s “not very good with the language thing,” we get it. Tinkering with the plot makes for a similarly agreeable update: When Roxane shows up at a battle, she demands a sword like a modern heroine. Devon Painter’s costumes likewise accentuate this: Never have I seen a Roxane less encumbered by period clothing.

An engaging five-man ensemble creates all the other roles in the story, from the Gascony cadets to Roxane’s nurse (Scott Greer) and Sister Marthe (Doug Hara). Benjamin Lloyd’s De Guiche, Roxane’s powerful suitor, is suitably unctuous but not cartoonish, making his malice palpable and his redemption pleasing. Similarly balanced are Cummings’ Roxane, who starts off as a ninny but matures beautifully and heartbreakingly, and Sottile’s Christian, less a dullard than a believable victim of his own desires — by letting Cyrano impersonate him in flowery speeches and letters, Christian creates an ideal lover that he can never be. This smart balance extends to Posner’s production. Fluid and often funny, yet fragile in its sad, glorious ending, this Cyrano succeeds as both swashbuckling adventure and tragic love story. The Arden’s production has what Cyrano calls “panache” — not just showiness, but a rightness fueled by skill and integrity. And with this smart and affordable adaptation, regional theaters can share this classic story with everyone. (m_cofta@citypaper.net) ✚ Through April 15, $34-$45, Arden Theatre, 40 N.

Second St., 215-922-1122, ardentheatre.org.

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THE SNOW WHITE LEGEND COMES ALIVE ENTER-TO-WIN A FAMILY FOUR PACK OF PASSES By texting ALCOTT and your ZIP CODE to 43549 (Example Text: ALCOTT 19103) No purchase necessary. While supplies last. There is no charge to text 43KIX. Message and data rates from your wireless carrier may apply. Text HELP for info, STOP to opt-out. One entry per cell phone #. Late and/or duplicate entries will not be considered. Winners will be notified by phone. This film is rated PG for some fantasy action and mild rude humor. Must be 13 years of age to enter contest. Seating is on a firstcome, first-served basis, except for members of the reviewing press. Theater is overbooked to guarantee a full house. Sponsors are not responsible for lost or redirected entries, phone failures, or tampering. Employees of Relativity Media and Philadelphia City Paper are not eligible. Deadline for entries is Friday, March 23, 2012 at NOON ET.

MirrorMirrorFilm.com

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IN THEATERS MARCH 30

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AL LOC

TEXAS NEVER WHISPERS The 10 best things I heard at SXSW 2012. By K. Ross Hoffman

The Region’s Only Full-Service Independent Music Store Use coupon code PHILLYROCKS at thelaboratory.com for FREE SHIPPING and NO TAX to Philly.

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[ arts & entertainment ]

[ austin chronicles ]

UY. OP. B K. SH THIN

Javiera Mena

1450 Clements Bridge Rd Plaza at Deptford Deptford, NJ 08096 (856) 384-2725 www.thelaboratory.com

³ JAVIERA MENA Caught this versatile young Chilean twice in one day — at a loose, organic afternoon jam session with several fellow Latina popstresses (including Mexico’s utterly adorable Ximena Sariñana), and in full-on electro-disco mode later that night — either way, she’s entrancing.

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³ ANDREW W.K. The once and future king of party-party-party-party (rawwwwwk) had us willing to toss anything and everything — arms, beers, T-shirts, multiple crowd-surfers — into the air and dive into a pandemoniac mosh-maelstrom. ³ FIONA APPLE It’s great to have her back in action (and the new songs sound fantastic), but if Apple’s physical and psychological well-being have improved since penning the likes of “Paper Bag” (“Hunger hurts; starving works”), it wasn’t exactly apparent from the uncomfortably frail, anguished-looking physicality of her performance. Then again, great art’s not supposed to come easy. ³ MIGUEL This Afro-Latino Los Angeleno broke through with a breezy neo-R&B trifle (2011 hit “Sure Thing”), but his masterly, old-school performer’s presence hints at a much deeper well. The man can sing, for damn sure, but he can also dance, mug and hype up a crowd with his silkysmooth lover-man jams, an almost punkish ’tude and his filthy-minded ghetto bangers. ³ NICOLAS JAAR’S DARKSIDE Improvising extensively on their recent EP, the Chilean-American arty-electro wunderkind and his equally prodigious cronies (one guitarist, one saxophonist/keyboardist) achieved a gorgeous, fluid fusion of electronic and live instrumentation that’s pretty much unprecedented in my experience. ³ THE RUBIES The preposterously manic Japanese hyper-rock goofballs’ audience-participation antics included passing out a ton of heart-shaped mini-tambourines, jumping offstage to forcibly

pull people into a frenzied dancing circle and instructing us to simultaneously fire a few dozen of those bottle-shaped partypopper things at the lead singer — all while pounding out nonstop heavy-metal surf riffs and high-octane Beatle-pop harmonies. WTF. ³ ST. LUCIA These fresh-faced, Vampire Weekend-looking Brooklyn synth-poppers tick off the “tropical,” “anthemic” and “John Hughes-soundtrackready” boxes of the standardissue ’80s-revivalist checklist. Nothing overly earth-shattering; it’s just that literally every song sounded like a hit single. ³ JUSTIN TOWNES EARLE Very obviously the real deal: deft fingerpicking acoustic blues, gritty voice, witty poignant wryly observational songwriting and impossibly long legs to boot. Later found out Steve’s his dad. Duh. ³ THEESATISFACTION This two-woman hip-hop tag team (how often does that happen? does that ever happen?) hails from the “top left” (Seattle). THEESatisfaction are a sort of sister act to Shabazz Palaces, but their similarly fresh revamp of arty/smarty “conscious” swag is way less psych-addled and esoteric, way more accessible, melodyconscious and just plain fun. ³ RICK ROSS Yep.This happened. The mystery “special guest” at the close of Saturday’s epic Fader Fort party was none other than the (ahem) biggest rapper in the game (selfdescribed). Totally ridiculous, totally awesome. Couldn’t see anything half the time because of all the cameras/phones in the air, but the energy in the crowd was just delirious. After a couple recent mixtape cuts, he whipped through probably his four hugest hits (“Hustlin,” “All I Do Is Win,” “B.M.F.”, “I’m on One”) in the space of about 15 minutes. Because he could, I guess. (editorial@citypaper.net)

shorts

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Peter Travers,

The Ballad of Genesis and Lady Jaye

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FILMS ARE GRADED BY CITY PAPER CRITICS A-F.

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“LAUGH ALL YOU WANT... IT’S A BLAST.”

“FLAT-OUT HILARIOUS.” Mara Reinstein,

NEW THE BALLAD OF GENESIS AND LADY JAYE A haiku: Let’s be pals. Let’s be a single pandrogynous entity in love. (Not reviewed) (Ritz at the Bourse)

THE HUNGER GAMES|B Read Shaun Brady’s review on pg. 29. (Pearl, UA Riverview) JIRO DREAMS OF SUSHI|A+ David Gelb’s gorgeous and deeply moving doc takes a

ISRAELI FILM FESTIVAL MY AUSTRALIA|CTen-year-old Tadek (Jakub Wroblewski), a member of a Polish gang that preys on Jews, is floored when his mother admits she’s a Holocaust survivor. So when she preps the family to relocate to Israel, she tells the boy they’re going

“I’M WILLING TO BET I WON’T SEE A FUNNIER COMEDY THIS YEAR.” Rene Rodriguez,

COLUMBIA PICTURES AND METRO-GOLDWYN-MAYER PICTURES PRESENT IN ASSOCIATION WITH RELATIVITY MEDIA AN ORIGINAL FILM/CANNELL STUDIOS PRODUCTION “21 JUMP STREET” BRIE LARSON DAVE FRANCO ROB RIGGLE EXECUTIVE WITH ICE CUBE MUSICBY MARK MOTHERSBAUGH PRODUCERS JONAHSTORYHILL CHANNING TATUM EZRA SWERDLOW TANIA LANDAU BASED ON THE TELEVISION SCREENPLAY SERIES CREATED BY PATRICK HASBURGH & STEPHEN J. CANNELL BY MICHAEL BACALL & JONAH HILL BY MICHAEL BACALL PRODUCED DIRECTED BY NEAL H. MORITZ STEPHEN J. CANNELL BY PHIL LORD & CHRISTOPHER MILLER

37

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DELICACY|C+ Audrey Tautou plays a widow taking halting steps toward love in David and Stéphane Foenkinos’ adaptation of the former’s novel. The brothers take their time establishing the bond between Tautou and her first love, sketching the arc from meeting to marriage before he’s run down in the street. Tautou mourns, fending off the brusque advances of her boss (Bruno Todeschini), and then impulsively plants a wet one on unsuspecting coworker François Damiens. The lumbering Swede is promptly smitten, but she feigns amnesia when he follows up; not surprising, since half their colleagues can’t remember him, either. Damiens is so insubstantial that it’s not clear for a while if he’ll turn out to be a figment of Tautou’s grief, but he proves solid in every sense, as blandly likable as the film itself. Delicacy breaks from its monotonous forward march for the requisite Amélie-isms, although in a mild twist they’re allocated to Damiens instead of Tautou. It’s sweet and uncomplicated, a perfect rebound relationship, but after a while you’re ready to move on to something meatier. —Sam Adams (Ritz Five)

contemporary approach to dissecting a culinary titan who is anything but modern. Jiro Ono, the pushing-90 chef whose Michelin-starred Tokyo restaurant, Sukiyabashi Jiro, is considered the best place for sushi on the planet, has reached the pinnacle of his craft by embracing the mode of shokunin, the Japanese honorific describing one who relentlessly pursues perfection in a single field. “Once you decide your occupation, you must immerse yourself in your work,” says Jiro, who takes his own advice as life-consuming gospel. His two sons, Yoshikazu and Takashi, both world-class sushi makers, have tremendous love for their father but cannot help but feel tethered by his blinding celebrity. While Takashi, the younger son, split off to open his own place, Japanese mores dictate that Yoshikazu must remain by his father's side until his retirement or passing — and the sprightly octogenarian, who still lords over his line every day like a demanding papa owl, is nowhere near either resting place. Leaning on sleek time-lapse footage and elegant close-ups to compound the intricacies of Jiro’s every measured motion, Gelb shoots with so much respect and artistic clarity that Jiro’s incredible standards of self-discipline are not noted so much as gilded. “Ultimately, simplicity leads to purity,” the chef says of his job, a deceptively straight-ahead view from someone who not only loves, but lives his work. —Drew Lazor (Ritz at the Bourse)

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to the exotic country he’s always dreamed of: Australia. Finding himself surrounded by Jews instead of ’roos intensifies Tadek’s struggle to readjust to new surroundings. Director Ami Drozd does his best to add country-specific material to themes that have been stretched to their limit, but everything about My Australia feels exhaustingly familiar. The strain that cultural and religious differences put on the family’s relationships is palpable but, like most of the film’s conflict, is underdeveloped. Instead, the flick jumps from scene to scene, offering vignettes of immigrant life without true suspense. Wroblewski offers an energetic turn as Tadek, whose ease at assimilating leaves him feeling both guilty and confident. His prowess becomes crucial as the film shifts its focus to Tadek’s shame at being uncircumcised. Using male genitalia as a symbol for the immi-

grant experience could fill volumes for Freud, but it creates useless, unsettling moments for audiences forced to watch a gaggle of Israeli children trying to catch Tadek with his pants down. It’s an ill-considered plot twist from which Drozd’s slapdash film never recovers. —Michael Gold (Gratz College)

MY LOVELY SISTER|AFollowing a Moroccan-Jewish family in an impoverished coastal town in Israel, My Lovely Sister is a modern tale of superstition and forgiveness. Rama and her husband Robert are a middle-aged, bickering couple who seem average until the introduction of Rama’s spurned sister Marie, who dies from a broken heart after being disowned by her family for marrying an Arabian fisherman. With her passing comes a roller coaster of redemption when Marie, bent on being buried with her parents, haunts Rama and

audrey

tautou

françois

damiens “���� CHARMING AND MAGICAL.” 1/2

– The Star Ledger

COLONIAL THEATRE 227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 610-9171228, thecolonialtheatre.com. Superman (1978, U.S., 143 min.): Credit this star-studded epic with sparking the big-budget superhero trend. Sat., March 24, 2 p.m., $8.

108 E. Butler Ave., Ambler, 215-3457855, amblertheater.org. Resurrect Dead: The Mystery of the Toynbee Tiles (2011, U.S., 86 min.): Local

director Jon Foy earned Sundance nods for this doc about the cryptic tiles sprinkled across Philadelphia. Thu., March 22, 7:30 p.m., $9.75.

UA Riverview Plaza, 1400 S. Columbus Blvd., and Rave University City, 4012 Walnut St. The Bodyguard (1992, U.S., 130 min): Twenty years after the film’s initial release, Whitney Houston’s most memorable screen turn still evokes tears — and even more so after her death. Wed., March 28, 7:30 p.m., $12.50.

MEDIUM RARE CINEMA

THE BALCONY The Trocadero, 1003 Arch St., 215922-6888, thetroc.com. The Girl Who Played with Fire (2009, Sweden, 129 min.): Well before Rooney Mara, Sweden’s Noomi Rapace gave a chilling turn as Lisbeth Salander. Mon., March 26, 8 p.m., $3.

CINEMATHEQUE INTERNATIONALE L’Etage, 624 S. Sixth St., cinema-

NOMAD PIZZA 611 S. 7th St., 215-238-0900, nomadpizzaco.com. Rebel Without a Cause (1955, U.S., 111 min.): James Dean’s turn as a broody teenager cemented his place as an American icon/total babe. Sun., March 25, 8 p.m., free.

SECRET CINEMA

FATHOM EVENTS

AMBLER THEATER

[ movie shorts ]

Broad Street Ministry, 315 S. Broad St., regrettablesincerity.com. Bullet in the Head (1990, Hong Kong, 123 min.): John Woo’s action flick follows three friends who escape a scuffle with the law by heading to Saigon in the midst of the Vietnam War. Film critic Adam Lippe has re-edited the movie to present a screening more aligned with Woo’s original intent. Fri., March 23, 6 p.m., $5.

The Trestle Inn, 339 N. 11th St., 267-239-0290, thesecretcinema. com. Girl on the Run (1953, U.S., 64 min.): Though a murder is at the heart of this crime film, it’s the bawdy burlesque carnival that takes center stage. Wed., March 28, 8 p.m., $7.

WOODEN SHOE BOOKS 508 S. Fifth St., 215-413-0999, woodenshoebooks.com. They Live (1988, U.S., 93 min.): Two migrant workers learn that the 1-percenters are actually aliens controlling the population with subliminal broadcasts. Sun., March 25, 7 p.m., free.

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AND BEAUTIFUL. Maddeningly delicious looking.”

– Paste Magazine M A R C H 2 2 - M A R C H 2 8 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

✚ REPERTORY FILM

thequeip.com. Veronika Voss (1982, Germany, 104 min.): An aging Nazi film star copes with her fading stardom by turning to morphine. Wed., March 28, 7 p.m., $10.

“THRILLING

“ONE OF AUDREY TAUTOU'S BEST PERFORMANCES SINCE 'AMELIE.'”

38 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

Robert. The characters and their troubles offer a significant look at the sometimes-troublesome intersection of love and tradition by allowing each family member to wrestle with his or her problems —Robert’s drunken dreams of a new woman, Rama’s ghostly superstitions and their son’s porn-driven sex-education ventures — making this tale of redemption so much more redeeming. —Meg Augustin (Bryn Mawr Film Institute)

R E P E R T O R Y F I L M L I S T I N G S AT C I T Y PA P E R . N E T / R E P F I L M .

– ANTHONY BOURDAIN

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IT SURE BEATS TAKEOUT

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A film by David & Stéphane Foekinos F R O M

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STARTS FRIDAY 3/23

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Bryn Mawr 610-527-9898

RITZ AT THE BOURSE BRYN MAWR

LISTINGS@CITYPAPER.NET | MARCH 22 - MARCH 28

the agenda

[ fame, fortune and acquittal ]

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agenda

the

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LET’S DUET: Husbandand-wife duo Whitehorse play World Café Live on Thursday

The Agenda is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/listings. IF YOU WANT TO BE LISTED:

—Mark Cofta

THURSDAY

3.22 [ theater ]

✚ CHICAGO

[ rock/pop ]

✚ WHITEHORSE A couple years ago, I saw Luke Doucet play a show with his new wife, singer-songwriter Melissa McClelland, on stage as a backup vocalist. They kept joking about how awkward it was for her to help him sing heartbreak lyrics about an ex. Those songs, mostly off his sophomore album Broken

—Lee Stabert Thu., March 22, 8 p.m., $20, with The Wood Brothers, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400, worldcafelive.com.

in this exuberant ensemble’s vibrant mix of Bahia and bravado. They’re strong and sexy, and, yeah — they know it. The company’s choreography combines the swiveling hips and shimmying shoulders of samba with the acrobatic prowess of the martial-arts-style form of capoeira. Unlike many major touring companies, they’re bringing fresh work — a world premiere, Imfazwe, and a Philadelphia premiere, Batuke. For the most immersive experience, go for the Friday-night show, which includes a pre-show sampling of Brazilian food from Picanha Brazilian Grill and a post-show talkback. —Deni Kasrel

[ dance ]

Thu.-Sat., March 22-24, $20-$60, Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts, 3680 Walnut St., 215-898-3900, annenbergcenter.org.

✚ DANCEBRAZIL

[ dj nights ]

DanceBrazil is always a hot ticket for the Annenberg Center’s Dance Celebration series, and it’s easy to see why

blend DJing with live electronics and multi-instrumentation. Headlining duo BoomBox is getting into gear with their spring tour and will certainly be bumping a fresh set alongside our excellent regional talent. Expect a wide array of styles like rock, house, psychedelic and disco that morph in and out of each for your dancefloor pleasure. —Gair “dev79” Marking Thu., March 22, 9 p.m., $13-$15, The Blockley, 3801 Chestnut St., 215-2221234, theblockley.com.

ted ladies. And in the case of the groups playing the second benefit show organized by Permanent Wave Philly, which aims to bring together feminists of all ages, the music is reason enough. Catnaps’ organic mix of happy and sad pop, Attia Taylor’s electro-djembe experimentalism, and Liz & the Lost Boys’ harp-centric jazz-folk fusion suit myriad moods. Best of all, the proceeds go to Hollaback!, a nonprofit that turns the tables on those who dare to harass women and queers in public spaces.

FRIDAY

—M.J. Fine

3.23

Fri., March 23, 7 p.m., $7-$10, with Catnaps, Attia Taylor, Liz & the Lost Boys and Middle Aged Men, ChaCha’razzi, 1918 S. Bancroft St., permanentwavephilly.tumblr.com.

[ rock/pop/benefit ]

[ hip-hop/funk ]

✚ BOOMBOX

✚ PERMANENT WAVE ✚ THE COUP PHILLY’S HOLLAAs radically energized as they BACK! BENEFIT are, the Coup sure take their

Deathwaltz Media presents this rager featuring performers who

There’s never a wrong reason to stack a bill with quick-wit-

time between records — we haven’t heard from them since

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Thanks to the Oscar-winning film adaptation, John Kander and Fred Ebb’s 1975 musical Chicago is finally widely known as one of the sexiest musicals of all time. The cutting satire of Roaring Twenties tabloid-fame culture still plays

Through March 25, $10-$20, Merriam Theater, 250 S. Broad St., 215-7176450, uarts.edu/events.

(And Other Rogue States), are vicious, underhanded masterpieces of emotional warfare. Whitehorse is the Canadian duo’s creative solution. Their self-titled debut traffics in rough-hewn Americana and meaty, arresting guitar lines (Doucet is a tremendous player) balanced by pretty harmonies and an earthy pop sensibility. In a surprising twist, the pair re-recorded Doucet’s breakup anthem “Broken”; this time, with McClelland taking every other verse, it reads more like an argument and less like a fatal blow.

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Submit information by email (listings@citypaper.net) to Josh Middleton or enter them yourself at citypaper.net/submit-event with the following details: date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.

very well today, as faculty director Rick Stoppleworth’s cast of University of the Arts musical-theater majors demonstrate. Murderesses Roxie Hart (Meghan Seaman) and Velma Kelly (Taylor Colleton) would undoubtedly be reality stars today, razzle-dazzling their crimes into fame, fortune and acquittal with the help of celebrity lawyer Billy Flynn (Drew Carroll).

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2006’s Pick a Bigger Weapon, which still sounds tremendous even if its political talking points (“Bush and Hussein together in bed”) are a little dated. Sorry To Bother You — the guest-studded soundtrack to an in-the-works film of the same title inspired by Boots Riley’s time working as a telemarketer (and starring Patton Oswalt and David Cross) — is reportedly dropping sometime later this year, so hopefully we’ll hear some previews of that material. Either way, it’s always worth catching one of the funkiest live bands in hip-hop. —K. Ross Hoffman Fri., March 23, 9 p.m., $13-$15, with LP Stiles, Mic Stew, MH The Verb and Voss, Blockley Pourhouse, 3801 Chestnut St., 215-222-1234, theblockley.com.

[ music/food ]

✚ FRANKFORD AVENUE FREEZE-OUT

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Bruce Ice Cream and the Freeze Street Band isn’t going to be playing “Rocky Road” or inserting dairythemed puns into lyrics like

the band and event names might imply — the group is a pretty straight-up Springsteen tribute. The “ice cream” part comes from Little Baby’s Ice Cream, whose founders will be singing Springsteen on Friday to raise money to upgrade from their tricycle to a planned permanent home on Frankford. Little Baby’s is bringing their signature odd flavors (like Earl Grey Sriracha), and we bet the band’s energy level will be sugar-high. Ditto opener Adult Content, a sextet that suits up old-school to play oversexed, highly ridiculous but technically proficient funk, with frontman “David B. Awesome” shouting demands that the audience shake body parts and gyrate in James Brownian fashion. They actually do have a song about ice cream, though its single entendre is likely to make you more than a little uncomfortable. —Emily Guendelsberger Fri., March 23, 9 p.m., $15 (includes ice cream), with Bruce Ice Cream and the Freeze Street Band, Adult Content and Comedy Dreamz, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684, johnnybrendas.com.

[ the agenda ]

[ festivals ]

✚ SENDAK IN SPRING Each year, the Rosenbach Museum and Library honors Where the Wild Thing Are’s

Maurice Sendak with a twoday festival that director of education Emily Parker says is inspired by the writer’s respect for tots and the credit he gives to their intelligence. The family-friendly soirée features storytelling, 3-D book-making workshops and a mini opera inspired by the classical music that motivated the imaginative author. —James Friel Fri.-Sat., March 24-25, $10, noon-4 p.m., Rosenbach Museum and Library, 2008-2010 Delancey Place, 215-7321600, rosenbach.org.

[ comedy ]

✚ NERDIST PODCAST LIVE! In recent years, nerds have enjoyed a nice bump up the pop-culture food chain, symptoms including The Big Bang Theory and anything starring Michael Cera. Give some credit to comedian Chris Hardwick (of Talking Dead and Web Soup), whose Nerdist podcast covers everything from gaming and tech news to TV and film,

interspersed with goofy rants by him and his Bebop and Rocksteady co-hosts, Jonah Ray and Matt Mira. Their live show, which includes a

—James Friel

3.24 [ art ]

✚ SPRING HAS SPRUNG! MURAL UNVEILING Although this has been one of the mildest winters in years, the coming of spring is still something celebration-worthy. To do their part, the Morris Arboretum has asked visitors to share signs of the new season — birds, new buds, glimpses of sunshine — and they have compiled images inspired by

—Nina Willbach Sat., March 24, 1 p.m., free with museum admission of $16, Widener Lower Gallery, Morris Arboretum, 100 E. Northwestern Ave., 215-247-5777, upenn.edu/arboretum.

TUESDAY

3.27 [ film ]

✚ THE DESTINY OF LESSER ANIMALS A Ghanaian police drama isn’t the best representation of the local film scene, but The Destiny of Lesser Animals’ connections to Philadelphia abound. After collaborating on the short The Legend of Black Tom, director/St. Joe’s prof Deron Albright again teamed up with Penn grad/actor/screenwriter Yao Nunoo to bring this crime flick to life. Nunoo stars as Boniface Koomsin, a deported police inspector chasing a thief who

stole his counterfeit passport. Albright’s camera weaves through Accra’s dense streets to present energetic glimpses of West African life. The result is a worldliness the picture would have lacked if Nunoo had set it on the banks of the Delaware. —Michael Gold Tue., March 27, 7:30 p.m. screening, 9 p.m. Q&A with director, $10, Bryn Mawr Film Institute, 824 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-527-9898, brynmawrfilm.org.

food | classifieds

SATURDAY

[ the agenda ]

the agenda

Fri., March 23, 8 p.m. (sold out) and 10:15 p.m., $29.50, The Trocadero, 1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc.com.

these ideas into a mural, which they’ll unveil on Saturday.

the naked city | feature | a&e

podcast taping and standup performances, has been selling out multiple cities, including Philly. But lucky for us, they’ve added a second, later show at the Troc.

[ theater ]

✚ OUTSIDE THE FRAME InterAct goes solo with six monologue shows in their first Outside the Frame: Voices from the Other America Festival. The event’s unofficial headliner, gay performance artist Tim Miller, made news recently when Villanova University canceled a workshop he was scheduled to run in April due to “the explicit, graphic, and sexual content of

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shoppingspree By Julia West

food | classifieds

Poor Old City has practically had a revolving door for boutiques over the last several years. The shops come in, all doe-eyed and romantic, wooing the neighborhood and its shoppers into a false sense of style security. Some, like Smak Parlour,have stayed strong, holding our hands and providing a reliable dose of local retail therapy. Others, sadly, have chomped the proverbial dust. (We still pour our cocktails on the curb for Topstitch.) We’re keeping our fingers crossed for our latest crush, Kaleidoscope.It’s a good omen that the neighborhood’s newest destination for wild party dresses and cute accessories took over the sprawling location that was formerly Matthew Izzo. We’re also impressed to hear they’re hiring interns and a team of sales associates — a promising sign in this crapola economy. What you’ll find here is standard Old City fashion fare: designer dresses, like those by Brian Lichtenberg, that’ll run you $400; edgier outfits from e.vil, a brand we’re gaga over; and young-at-heart handmade jewelry from Tarina Tarantino.The ambitious boutique also intends to stay involved in the community, with a blog and monthly trunk shows featuring fresh, local design talent. The current show features hair pieces by the New-Orleansjazz-and-pinup inspired Jessica Saint,who crafts adorable hair pieces out of everything from recycled clothing and reclaimed headbands to vintage beads and buttons. You might say it’s the honeymoon phase, but we’ve got a feeling Kaleidoscope’ll keep us swooning long after the newness wears off. 151 N. Third St., 267-519-2587, kaleidoscopeboutique.com. (julia.west@citypaper.net)

the agenda

³ KALEIDOSCOPIC VISION

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[ the agenda ]

Have an upcoming shopping event? Give it here. E-mail listings@citypaper.net.

—Shaun Brady Wed., March 28, 7 p.m., free, International House, 3701 Chestnut St., 215-387-5125, ihousephilly.org.

[ film ]

✚ GIRL ON THE RUN B movies — a term that originally applied to the

a cheesy soundtrack. For Secret Cinema, these films offer a rare glimpse into a stranger world of forgotten cinematic gems that often employed amateur actors on makeshift sets. Tonight’s feature, 1953’s Girl on the Run, is a crime melodrama set in the seedy world of a carnival burlesque show. In true B-movie fashion, the credits list six actresses as simply “the carny girls,” and the film seems to have been shot on location at a real carnival. —Nina Willbach Wed., March 28, 8 p.m., $7, The Trestle Inn, 339 N. 11th St., 267-239-0290, thesecretcinema.com.

More on:

citypaper.net ✚ FOR COMPREHENSIVE EVENT LISTINGS, VISIT C I T Y PA P E R . N E T / L I S T I N G S .

43

second flick in a double feature — connotes sub-par production, melodramatic acting and

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English prof Charles Bernstein as part of the Cinema Studies program’s Adaptations film series. He’ll be armed with some of his latest work, screening five short video pieces from 2011.

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foodanddrink

feedingfrenzy By Drew Lazor

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f&d

food classifieds

³ NOW SEATING

Rex 1516 | Jet Wine Bar owners Jill Weber and Evan Malone are bringing more dining to their stretch with Rex 1516, a clever boutique space that caters to the ’hood with a sharp beverage program and Southern-inflected menu from ’Bama-bred chef Regis Jansen. His specialties, from crawfish pot pie and seitan meatloaf to stuffed pork loin and a sick burger (a blend of filet tips, brisket and pork belly), are sided up nicely by GM Heather Rodkey’s interesting wine-by-the-glass and cocktail lists. Rex is open for lunch daily from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. and for dinner daily from 5 to 11 p.m. 1516 South St., 267-319-1366, rex1516.com. ³ LITTLE VITTLES

Square Peg (929 Walnut St., 215-413-3600), the new one from chef Matt Levin, soft-opened last night. They’re taking a limited amount of reservations as they ease into things. ³ The new Machi Sushi (209 S. 20th St., 215-545-2388) is offering 15 percent off orders through March 31.

NEAL SANTOS

[ review ]

FRESH SQUEEZED Fairmount’s Lemon Hill is a corner bar with a twist. By Adam Erace LEMON HILL | 745 N. 25th St., 215-232-2270, lemonhillphilly.com, @lemonhillphilly. Dinner served daily, 5-10 p.m. (late-night menu 10 p.m.-1 a.m., bar till 2 a.m.); brunch served Sat.-Sun., 10 a.m.-2:30 p.m. Appetizers, $6-$13; sandwiches, $12-$13; entrées, $15-$22; dessert, $4-$8.

W

ith its careening hills, lush greenery and brain-boiling parking sitch, Fairmount is a poor man’s micro-San Francisco. And by poor man, I still mean a pretty wealthy man. If our nation is in a housing slump, nobody told the twiggy trinities and stately manors for sale around this tree-lined family favorite. Which makes the $10 tag on a swiftly stirred Kensington at More on: Lemon Hill all the more refreshing. Created by Franklin Mortgage & Investment Co.’s Al Sotack, this marmalade-tinged riff on the Manhattan has serious pedigree, and it’s worth more than the crew is charging. They don’t skimp on the good stuff, namely Buffalo Trace bourbon and Carpano Antica vermouth, and they understand the minutia of cocktail-making, like activating the oils of an orange peel via lighter before wiping it across the rim of a retro coupe. “This isn’t some self-congratulatory parade,” says Sotack, whose Franklin bosses co-own Lemon Hill. “It’s a neighborhood bar. From

citypaper.net

the beginning, we wanted to be a place that provided a service to the community, with as little pretension as possible.” Judging by the walking-distance customers lining the brick space like nattily attired dominoes, the community is grateful. I would be too if I lived here. Where else could I get the Double Cross, a smoky, sour blend of citrus, fruit-forward Smith and Cross rum and cognac produced from grapes grown in the esteemed “Golden Triangle” district of Champagne? Such drinks, and the bartenders who make them, turn liquid strangers into willing conspirators. “We spent a lot of time [sourcing] what you wouldn’t necessarily see in a corner bar,” Sotack says. “We might not have Jäger, for example, but we do have a really nice little amaro selection.” Affordable and accessible are his operative words for this “local curatory” of fine hooch, a philosophy that extends to Lemon Hill’s edible side, developed and run by chef-partner Mitch Prensky. “This is my idea of what a great neighborhood pub should be,” says Prensky, and anyone familiar with his wellMORE FOOD AND fatted yet surgically wrought food at Supper DRINK COVERAGE will recognize the menu at Lemon Hill, a AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / larder of Anson Mills grains, re-imagined M E A LT I C K E T. diner deckers (patty melt, anyone?) and pastrami spices. I’d know his cooking by the chicken wings alone; brined, smoked, slow-cooked, floured and fried crisp, no one else’s flappers are this buttery. In lieu of the birch-beer barbecue applied at Supper, Lemon’s wings arrive dry, their crispy, salt-baked-like shells freckled with coriander, black pepper and garlic, Thousand Island dressing and sweet bread-and-butter pickles on the side. Prensky was an easy sell for the project. He lives nearby and has >>> continued on page 49

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Got A Tip? Please send restaurant news to drew.lazor@ citypaper.net or call 215-735-8444, ext. 218.

KISS THEIR GRITS: The shrimp and grits dish at Lemon Hill is a strong example of chef/partner Mitch Prensky’s rich, precise cooking.

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Popolino | Chef Peter McAndrews’ new Philly joint, joining Modo Mio, Paesano’s and Monsu, is a trattoria serving up interpretations of Roman cuisine both contemporary and ancient. Taking over the short-lived Lafayette Bistro space, Popolino (Roman dialect for “commoner”) offers a menu split into three segments — one fish- and vegfriendly, one classic (carbonara, cacio e pepe, etc.) and one adventurous, with offal preparations like braised tripe, calf’s tongue and nervetti, a calf’s foot presented in a headcheese-like format. The centerpiece of the BYO is the tavola calda (pictured), a traditional Roman spread of room-temp antipasti that rotates every day. Four Seasons vet Steve Flis is running the show. Popolino serves lunch and dinner every day but Tuesday. 501 Fairmount Ave., 215-928-0106.

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[ food & drink ]

HOW WE DO IT: The restaurants, bars and markets listed in this section rotate every week and are compiled by City Paper editorial staff. If you have suggestions or corrections, email restaurants@citypaper.net.

gracetavern.com

✚ AMERICAN RUSSET

Veterans of Philly spots like Fork and James, chefs Andrew and Kristin Wood are taking local sourcing seriously, getting almost all of their product from Lancaster County. Menu items at Russet will change frequently based on availability. Open Tue.-Sun., 5:30-10:30 p.m.; brunch served Sat.-Sun., 10 a.m.-2 p.m. 1521 Spruce St., 215-546-1521, russetphilly.com.

WALNUT STREET SUPPER CLUB

Ralph Berarducci, who opened Portofino in Center City in the early ’70s, has switched up the game at his popular-with-theatergoers Italiano. It’s now known as Walnut Street Supper Club, a Stork Clubinspired restaurant that mixes housemade Italian specialties with old-school steakhouse classics from a bygone restaurant era. There’s live music, too, featuring the waitstaff as performers. 1227 Walnut St., 215-923-8208, walnutstreetsupperclub.com.

✚ BAR/PUB

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ALLA SPINA

Marc Vetri’s fourth Philly restaurant, joining Vetri, Osteria and Amis, is a bar done Italiano-style. Alla Spina, or “from the tap,” pours 20 craft drafts (many from The Boot) and offers an unorthodox pubinspired menu. Sharing real estate with Stephen Starr’s Route 6 and Joe Volpe’s Vie, the polished industrial space, tricked out with graffiti from local tagger Distort, features distinct lounge and bar areas, plus a cool elevated perch atop the walk-in beer fridge. Look for downmarketby-Vetri-standards eats like pig tails with fennel agrodolce, poutine with guinea hen Bolognese, a swordfish BLT and mortadella hot dogs. 1410 Mount Vernon St., 215600-0017, allaspinaphilly.com.

MCGLINCHEY’S BAR & GRILL

Sure, the beer is cheap, the company’s good and the hot dogs are a staple of many a drunk’s late-night escapades. But these days, thanks to the smoking ban in effect at virtually every other Center City dive, the air quality at McGlinchey’s is worse than that of Mexico City. Hordes of regulars squeeze into booths and bar stools to suck down as many cigarettes as they do $1.25 Rolling Rocks. If you brave the insidious ozone to order beer and shots, don’t bother washing your clothes — just burn them. Hours: Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-2 a.m. Closed Sun. 259 S. 15th St., 215-735-1259.

WATKINS DRINKERY

Watkins Drinkery, from Jonn Klein

of The Dive, still boasts the South Philly vibe of the old Bella Rosa II — just take a look at the light-up starscape ceiling panels above the bar. But the operation’s been cleaned up considerably to feature great beer on tap and a menu of atypical bar food that’s priced well for the neighborhood (topping out at $9.95). A second floor features billiards, darts and a 40-games-in-one 1980s arcade machine. Open daily, 5 p.m.-2 a.m. (food till 1 a.m. nightly). 1712 S. 10th St., 215-339-0175, facebook.com/watkinsdrinkery.

✚ BELGIAN EULOGY BELGIAN TAVERN

Skeletons always look like they’re smiling, and at Old City’s Eulogy, you get the feeling it’s because they’re actually enjoying themselves. Upstairs at this kingly beer bar, there’s a little room lit only by candles where you can drink a wide selection of brews at tables made from coffins housing full skeletons. Owner Mike Naessens took the idea from Le Cercueil (“The Coffin”), a bar in Brussels he frequented while living abroad in the 1990s; he ordered the coffins new before converting them into tables with glass tops. Don’t worry: The cheerful denizens are medical skeletons, not heroic fools who tried to taste all of the bar’s offerings in a single night. Open Mon.-Wed., 5 p.m.-2 a.m.; Thu.-Sun., 11 a.m.-2 a.m. 136 Chestnut St., 215-413-1918, eulogybar.com.

✚ CAFÉ/ COFFEESHOP CUP & SAUCER CAFÉ

New to the Bella Vista a.m. scene is the Cup & Saucer, a cute lil’ venture from husband/wife team Albert and Bridget Coccia and partner Domenic Collaretti. Open 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. every day but Monday, C&S specializes in both breakfast (French toast, crêpes, frittata) and lunch (a signature filet mignon pizza steak, Italian tuna on “peasant bread,” chicken cutlet). 743 S. Eighth St., 267-639-2035, tcscafe.com.

✚ GREEK OPA

Brother/sister team George and Vasiliki Tsiouris have debuted Opa, their modern Greek eatery, just off the extremely hoppin’ corner of 13th and Sansom. Chef Andrew Brown (White Dog, Django), who used input from the Tsiouris’ momma to develop the menu, is mixing traditional Greek fare (braised/grilled octopus; saganaki) with a slew of edgier dishes. Open Mon.-Wed., 11:30 a.m.2:30 p.m. and 5 p.m.-mid; Thu.-Sat., 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. and 5 p.m.-2 a.m.; closed Sun. 1311 Sansom St., 215-545-0170, opaphiladelphia.com.

✚ INDIAN TASHAN

Munish Narula’s Tashan is a beautiful upscale complement to his multiple Tiffin locations. Spread out across the ground floor of the 777 S.

Broad complex, the liquor-licensed Tashan (Hindi for “style”) features elevated Indian small-plate cooking in an incredibly polished setting. Executive chef Sylva Senat, in collaboration with Indian master chef Sanjay Shende, is working an open kitchen equipped with state-of-theart tandoori ovens and sigri and tawa grills to produce his refined plates. The interior, conceived by designer Winka Dubbeldam, features multiple elements imported from India, from the hand-stitched curtains to the Ganesh carving greeting diners at the entrance. 777 S. Broad St., 267-687-2170, mytashan.com.

Monica Glass. Coming by spring: lunch, brunch, room service for Independent guests and outdoor seating in a dedicated courtyard. Independent Hotel, 1234 Locust St., 215-545-9600, fishphilly.com.

GRILL FISH CAFÉ

✚ ITALIAN

West Philly’s Vietnam location (816 S. 47th St.) now has a fishy little brother — Benny Lai’s opened this seafood-centric café, connected to its larger companion restaurant (they share a liquor license). The menu features straightforward preparations of mussels, shrimp, octopus and squid, plus entrées of salmon, fluke and a regularly rotating whole fish. Dinner’s served Tuesday to Sunday from 5 to 10 p.m. 814 S. 47th St., 215729-7011, grillfishcafe.com.

CHICK’S SOCIAL KITCHEN + BAR

✚ SPANISH

Wanting to get away from the winebar vibe and back to an Italian-food focus, Jim Piano has reconceptualized Chick’s into Chick’s Social, a redo of the long-running Bella Vista bar. (To give you an idea of how long the space has been around and pouring booze via various owners: Chick’s has liquor license No. 376!) Piano’s cooking a taut selection of cicchetti, antipasti, panini, housemade pasta and entrées. For professional belt-looseners, try the timpano, a stuffed-dough specialty made famous by the movie Big Night, as a group tasting option. Kitchen open Sun.-Thu., 5 p.m.mid; Fri.-Sat., 5 p.m.-2 a.m. 614 S. Seventh St., 215-625-3700, chickssocial.com.

✚ JAPANESE RAMEN BOY

Philly at long-noodled last has a dedicated ramen restaurant to call its own. Owned by the same team that’s behind Yakitori Boy, Ramen Boy is a narrow space specializing in Japanese soup. Chef Ben Watanabe is doing four bowls — pork, miso/chicken, a spicy soup with rib eye and a soy-based soup with vegetables — plus various dumplings and sides. There’s a tight amount of table seating; for quicker eats, opt for a stool at the kitchen bar. They’re open for lunch and dinner every day but Monday. 204 N. Ninth St., 267-687-1355.

✚ SEAFOOD FISH

Chef Mike Stollenwerk has completed the relocation of his restaurant Fish from the Graduate Hospital ’hood to much more polished digs in the Independent Hotel. Fish 2.0 is way larger and brighter than its predecessor, with a roomy bar area encouraging a cocktail scene and a San Fran-style elevated raw-bar station for oysters and other shellfish. They’re open for dinner daily right now, serving an expanded menu of Stollenwerk’s intricate seafood preparations (salmon belly and hiramasa crudos; pastrami-crusted mahi mahi; Loch Duart salmon with smoked eggplant purée) as well as desserts from former 10 Arts pastry chef

JAMONERA

Valerie Safran and Marcie Turney have completed their conversion of Indian BYO Bindi into Jamonera, a sleek Spanish wine bar. Seasoned travelers both, the couple’s journeys through southern Spain inspired the menu, organized into tapas, charcuterie and cheese, toasts, salads/vegetables, mid-size and large-size categories. Dishes like calamari fried in its own ink, crispy Calasparra rice and grilled octopus over crunchy bonito aioli are accompanied by a beverage program heavy on sherries, from crystalline fino to punchy Pedro Ximenez. They’re open from 5 to 11 p.m. Sunday to Thursday and from 5 p.m. to midnight Friday and Saturday. 105 S. 13th St., 215-922-6061, jamonerarestaurant.com.

✚ STEAKHOUSE RESERVE

This swank steakhouse, which shares a building with City Paper, is staged in the soaring space best remembered as Rococo. Reserve focuses on locally raised cuts (10ounce New York strip, 20-ounce porterhouse) dressed up in complementary styles (“Chesapeake Bay,” with crab meat). The bar program is big on brown liquors, and they’re also offering manly diversions like a cigar lounge on the second floor. Open for dinner Mon.-Fri., 5-10 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 5-11 p.m.; Sun., 4-10 p.m. 123 Chestnut St., 215-9646262, reservephilly.com.

✚ VEGAN/ VEGETARIAN JAR BAR

Jennifer Richmond and Joel Odhner, creators of the popular Catalyst Cleanse system, have launched a complementary raw-food café and juice shop. Jar Bar’s menu features Catalyst juices in addition to salads, soups and plates (a raw almond/ flax/carrot/celery burger with jicama fries). They also mix smoothiestyle “elixirs” you can enhance with additions like protein powder and hemp seeds. Open Mon.-Fri., 11:30 a.m.-7 p.m.; Sat.-Sun., 11:30 a.m.-5 p.m. 113 S. 12th St., 215-923-1600, jarbarphilly.com.

✚ Fresh Squeezed <<< continued from page 47

Lemon Hill glows on its corner like a warm cabin in the woods.

215.978.4545 LONDONGRILL.COM

MONDAY

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TUESDAY

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FRIDAY

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THURSDAY

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SUNDAY

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been in cahoots with the Franklin crew since meeting managing partner Mike Welsh at Supper’s release party for SNAP. For the past year, Supper has been doing the food for the Franklin, while the bar has been designing Supper’s cocktails. This symbiosis will cross state lines next month, when Prensky and Welsh open St. Charles Exchange in Louisville, Ky., but for now their back-scratching is fully realized at the corner of 25th and Aspen, where Lemon Hill glows like a warm cabin in the woods. Brassy sconces and chandeliers cast molasses shadows across the pressed-tin ceilings, crystallizing the trappedin-amber aura of this old building. Mortar-crusted pillars frame an open kitchen barely big enough for one man (chef de cuisine Joel Mazigian, a Garces vet) plus the gaspowered brick oven in which 70 percent of Lemon Hill’s menu is cooked. The station juts into the bar area like a movie-theater window, only instead of the latest matinee, Mazigian is pulling tickets for flatbreads, crispy roasted chicken brightened with pickled mushrooms and sweet, head-on Florida prawns paired with pickled okra, killer collards and decadent grits enriched with sour cream. The oven turns out food so hot it’s still moving. A sunnyside-up egg (somewhat gratuitous) quivered on a flatbread featuring housemade chorizo crumbles (not spicy enough) and dabs of salsa verde. The beer cheese, a gurgling fondue of Gruyère, cheddar and something on tap, bubbled so violently the ingredients separated like a Cement Mixer shot. You can use the accompanying soft-pretzel sticks to stir the mix back into an emulsified state; doughy and undersalted, that’s really all they’re good for, anyway. But I don’t want to take too much away from Justin Relkin, the pastry chef for Supper and Prensky’s catering arm, Global Dish. He bakes all the bread for Lemon Hill, from the wonderful rye baguette that’s toasted and served with sprightly mixed pickles to the ethereal popovers filled with blue cheese and floated in a comforting bowl of smoked tomato soup. The pie-centric dessert menu is his, as well. There’s only one variety available now, a cranapple that toed the line between sweet and tart, along with the best chocolate-chip pound cake I’ve had. They’re served a la mode if you wish, and why wouldn’t you with flavors like elegant buttermilk and smooth, sticky peanut butter? Drinking your dessert is also an option. See: the Fairmount Project, a chic elixir of Bluecoat, Bonal, maraschino and lemon. (“‘The Fairmount Project’ is what we referred to Lemon Hill as before it had a name,â€? explains Sotack.) Swirled with ripe blackberry syrup and anointed with mole bitters whose chocolate-y spice persists on the tongue, it’s just sweet enough. Lemon Hill, too, is just sweet enough. The concept could easily come across as grandiloquent or foofy, but the crew here — from Prensky and Sotack down to my warm, brainy server (best I’ve met in a while) — keeps it anchored in the innate promise of serving its neighborhood. You ready, Fairmount? First round’s on you. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)

2301 FAIRMOUNT AVE PHILADELPHIA

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0 0 Show Us Your Philly.

YO PHILLY!

COME ENJOY HEALTHY MEDITERRANEAN CUISINE FRESH, AUTHENTIC, MOUTHWATERING MEDITERRANEAN CUISINE WILL HAVE YOUR PALATE DANCING! GREEK SHRIMP TO MUSSELS, LAMB CHOPS TO KABOBS, MOUSAKA TO SPANAKOPITA, HUMMUS TO STUFFED PEPPERS VEGETARIAN AND VEGAN ENTREES, OPEN FOR LUNCH & DINNER

TUESDAY-SUNDAY

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509 SOUTH STREET, PHILADELPHIA. 215.925.3026

[ food & drink ]

[ the week in eats ]

✚ WHAT’S COOKING

Submit snapshots of the City of Brotherly Love, however you see it, at:

citypaper.net/ photostream

NAAAP Dumpling-Eating Contest RSVP deadline

Fri., March 23, contest Sat., March 31, 1-3 p.m., $10-$30 ³ The National Association of Asian American Professionals (NAAAP) is holding its inaugural dumpling-eating contest to benefit the Prodigy Program, which provides mentoring to students in association with Big Brothers and Big Sisters. The competition, which’ll take place at Sang Kee, isn’t until March 31, but the RSVP deadline for both contestants and attendees is March 23. RSVP by emailing mang.chang@naaapphilly.org. Sang Kee Peking Duck House, 238 N. Ninth St., 215-925-7532, naaapphilly.org. Greek Independence Day at Opa Sun., March 25,

5-11 p.m., pay as you go ³ Opa is opening its doors this Sunday (a day it’s usually closed) to celebrate the date of Greece’s liberation from the Ottomans. They’ll be serving a traditional menu that focuses on bakalao, Greek salt cod. They’re also offering small plates that include grilled octopus with chickpea fondue and slider-style mini lamb gyros. Antho cocktails are $7 and craft beers are $4. Opa, 1311 Sansom St., 215-545-0170, opaphiladelphia.com. Philly Stake at First Unitarian Church Sun., March 25, 5-8 p.m., $20 ³ Join Philly Stake to make a difference while enjoying a locally sourced meal. It works like this: Groups deliver proposals for worthy community projects to paying members of the Stake crowd while they eat (the menu includes beer-braised greens, fresh nettle/squash pasta and cheese courtesy of Di Bruno’s). Guests vote after the meal for the most compelling presentation, which then receives the proceeds from the evening. Tickets can be purchased ahead of time online or at the door. First Unitarian Church, 2125 Chestnut St., phillystake.org. Fishtown Chili Cook-Off Sun., March 25, 1-4 p.m.,

$15 ³ The Fishtown Neighbors Association is holding its second annual chili cook-off this Sunday. Attendees cast votes for one of 20 different chilis, 15 from amateur cooks and five from local restaurants (Pickled Heron, Interstate Draft House, Loco Pez, etc.). Wash down your chili with beers by Philadelphia Brewing Co. and St. Benjamin’s. This year’s judges will be CP’s Drew Lazor, food writer Joy Manning and state Rep. Mike O’Brien. Proceeds benefit the FNA and RiverWards Crime Watch. Tickets can be purchased online. Skybox at 2424 Studios, 2424 E. York St., fishtown.org. —Alexandra Weiss

ASSHOLE PERSON

AVIATOR PARK COCKSTAIN To a certain lame-ass guy we always see playing acoustic guitar in Aviator Park: TAKE CARE OF YOUR DOG. He’s barking at you to play with him, we saw him bring you fucking sticks to throw for him and all you do is stand there playing acoustic guitar to absolutely no one, and we’re quite sure no one wants to hear your shitty music anyway. Stop ignoring your dog! And FYI, when you stand with one leg up on the bench like George Fucking Washington crossing the Delaware with your guitar on your knee, you look even more like a shitty cockstain. Get a life and pay attention to your dog!

IN RESPONSE TO SOME WOMEN SUCK I read your posting and i have to say that all women do not go for the bad boy type. I do think women whom have a low self esteem and want to feel as though they contributed to someones

a human and not what i could do for them, financially, emotionally or physically. You are probably a wonderful person whom has a lot of good qualities to share, what i would suggest is that you let that person find you. ;)

LET THINGS BE! I am tired of calling you and hearing excuses with shit...I am tired of you bashing everyone including your child’s father...you are the one that decided to do what you did with the guy you keep telling me is a loser...you chose him...why do you let him dog you? I am stressing right now...if you

DUMBASS BITCH Why do I waste my time talking to you...obviously we are not on the same page...You are watchng rap videos on television and asking me do I know who the new rappers are...you got alot of nerve to be 28 to be watching a rap video...obviously you are not your age...and you have issues...dumbass bitch....

THANKS FOR THE FREE

I MISS YOU

Omg you sexy chocolate thing you. Everyday I see you on the 55, you and you piercings and tats I wish I didn’t have a girl I’d love to take you out but my situation won’t permit. I’m glad CP permits me this platform to express myself and for the record I’d fuck you senseless if given the chance.

WOMAN ON TRAIN! betterment does.Maybe the women that you have been dating feel as though you are to accomplished for them so therefore they regress to be with someone who they feel is more on their level mentally. in other words you may be a challenge. Where as most men think that a woman may want to date someone who is successful and accomplished, what you all dont know is that some women can not take being someones arm candy or show piece, mainly the educated ones. But the women that do are looking for validation in any form. Being a woman whom has been successful in her own right, graduating from college and maintaining a career that is rewarding, it was and is important to me to be with someone who would appreciate and respect me for who i am as

don’t hear from me...no worries...I will come back around after you stop complaining..

NOT SUMMER TIME YET HOES To all the stank ass hoes and tricks I just wanted to remind you that it still fucking summer time. It is too early to see your digusting fat rows and digusting ashy ass fucking feet...That should not happen until May...not March...go back and get rid of your gear and find some clothes that fit you...

NEED A NEW WARDROBE Just a observation here..about dress clothes... you don’t see too many people these days wear-

You stupid bitch...I think in your own way you wanted me to slap the bullshit out of you! Why the fuck would you sit up there and stare in someone’s face like you did to me and then when I turned around you turned around all quickly as if you weren’t looking. Then finally when your stop came I was so damn happy I could believe it...I definitely want to slap your face! I hope I don’t see you tomorrow.

✚ To place your FREE ad (100-word limit), go to citypaper.net and click on the LOVE/HATE tab near the top of the page. ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any other ancillary publishing projects.

51

You called me and I feel bad that you are there

WE RIDE THE 55 TOGETHER

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ticket to the flower show...I was completely dumbfounded when this stranger with his two daughters gave me his extra ticket to the flower show. I thought it was a joke but was left speachless. I know I didn’t thank you properly, but here goes. Thank you kindly.

HEY HONEY!

You are a stupid ass I knew your intentions from the fucking beginning. You wanted to do what you wanted to do and then when the role is reversed you change and get all defensive like someone is bothering you! Who needs your bullshit and games....I want you to get things together for yourself and get your life in order...I know things change but damn...how much more is going to take place...

You know, girls, when a guy addresses you as “Sweetheart,” “Hon,” etc, it’s not meant to degrade you and it doesn’t mean we’re trying to fuck your brains out. It’s meant to be nice and friendly, but more than likely, it’s simply a habit. I don’t get all pissy when a woman calls me “Sweetie” or “Dude” and you shouldn’t get mad about that sort of thing, either. Now that I know the majority of you miserable, angry, artsy, downtown twats don’t like it, it’s “Kitten,” Angelfish,” “Lemondrop,” etc for the whole lot of you. And if you dress like a hipster, I’m really gonna be sweet to you! Kevin

I would like to thank the stupid ass bitch for missing a great opportunity. I can’t beleive that you are 45 years old and you got to report to your son when you wanna go out on the weekends... what kind of dumb ass shit is that..this is some crazy ass shit...you guys have the roles mixed up! it should be mom tell son what the fuck to do and he does it...and not not son tell mom what to do and she does it..you are a worthless piece of shit...and a wasted fuck...you grandmommy ass bitch!

I can’t believe that I am saying this shit...I can’t wait to see you in 3 weeks...so I can pound that pussy, I really need some really bad and I might as well except the fact that we might as well fuck until we can’t fuck no more...and let you crush my ribs for the love of it....

I KNEW YOUR INTENTIONS

PET NAMES FOR WOMEN

STUPID CUNT!

BONE-CRUSHER

At first I wanted to say something really mean to someone else, but I don’t want to be that kind of girl. I also remembered how much you hate how these are so negative, so I decided to write you instead. I am so happy to be your girl, you make me proud all the time. You’re always graceful and you support me no matter what. We fight sometimes but I can’t imagine being without you, you give me so much joy and you love me endlessly. I want to give you everything you deserve, and I promise to work hard to do that, because you should have so many good things. I love you! from your baby bee

ing 1970 pimp dress clothes...going to the stacy adams store that is not the men’s wearhouse or joseph a banks...nobody wants to see your loud ass pink shirt your pink ties and your stupid ass sunglasses...you are not a secret service agent... there is no need to wear your sunglasses all the fucking time. The superfly days are over..learn how to buy up to date glad rags!

classifieds

Some people make me laugh..they always trying to point out when you aren’t doing your job correctly but they can sit at their desk and laugh all day long. Oh well it must be fucking nice...word to the wise you need to take more time doing your work than laughing all loud and having a good time...Next time I hear you laughing I should just come to your office pull down my pants and just piss in your mouth so you can choke.

and not with me...I feel bad that you aren’t eating what you are supposed to eat...it is just one fast food place after the other...I hope that you understand that I am here for you...I hope that you come back soon...I love you...and be patient things will work out...as long as we are together....MUAH!

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[ i love you, i hate you ]

27 31

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By Matt Jones

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“DOUBLE SCOOP” — EVERYTHING SORTA MELTED TOGETHER

City Paper’s

Home Garden Issue + +

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jonesin’

22 26

Be a part of CITY PAPER’S HOME + GARDEN ISSUE and help your business BLOOM this season. This special issue will feature a full editorial spread with a distinct cover separating our Home & Garden content from our regular weekly subject matter. D O N ’ T L E T T H I S G R E AT O P P O R T U N I T Y PA S S Y O U B Y !

S PRING INTO ACTION TODAY! ✚ ACROSS

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Just barely covering, with “over” Change for the better 1970s-’80s sitcom signoff Hardin of The Office Double scoop that’s part sugary nuts, part three-flavored Visibly took notice Former senator Feingold Airline until 2001 2, 4, 6 or 2008 ___ Solo (character played by Peter Griffin on Family Guy) Hosp. area Not-real-strict quality “This is your brain on drugs” prop Double scoop that’s part multicolored, part liqueur They sound just like D# Alyssa of Who’s the Boss? Double scoop that’s part chocolate, part citrus DVR button Distance between markers Doc for head stuff: abbr. “There’s a mouse behind the fridge!!!” Hair grossness “___ was saying...” Condo division Coupe alternative Double scoop that’s part sweet and chunky, part tart Caber-___ (Highland games competitor) Early 2012 U.S. disasters (in a

legit but unusual spelling) 61 Prefix before dactyl 62 It may end in PEZOLCFTD

✚ DOWN 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 16

18 22 23 25 26 27 28 29 30 33 34

Economist’s stats Tomb Raider heroine Croft “I Left Something Turned ___ Home” (Trace Adkins song) Star Trek lieutenant Little cut Actor McDiarmid Away from SSW Indigenous people that Paraguay named its currency after “Famous” cookie guy Diner on the sitcom Alice Tom’s QB opponent, in Super Bowl XLVI Imperfect, as a substitute Threaten, in a way They Might Be Giants song with the line “And her voice is a backwards record” Less sullied Sun ___ (Chinese revolutionary) Abbr. after a phone number, on a business card Tend to a sprain Business with biscotti Least happy, in Vegas Release End-of-aisle product offer Lily Allen hit of 2006 Planking or Tebowing Suffix for percent

✚ ©2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)

37 39 40 41 42 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 56 57 58

Toronto’s prov. Find at an archeological dig Do bird calls, say Digital camera output Look shocked, maybe Online gamer, e.g. Possibly insane Roman ruler Lip ___ contest In the Valley of ___ (2007 Tommy Lee Jones film) ___ double take Love, Latin-style Oriole’s pad Ending for Canton or Siam Comedian Jo ___ Before, to Robert Burns

PUBLICATION DATE

MARCH 29 TH AD RESERVATION DEADLINE

MARCH 23 RD

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PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293.

Public Notices EARN COLLEGE DEGREE ONLINE

*Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice, Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV Certified. Call 888-220-3984. www.CenturaOnline.com Notice is hereby given, pursuant to the provisions of Act of Assembly, No. 295, effective March 16, 1983, of the filing in the office of the Department of State of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, at Harrisburg, PA, on March 8, 2012, an Application for the conduct of a business in Philadelphia County, Pennsylvania, under the assumed or fictitious name, style or designation of Wheel Fun Rentals with its principal place of business at: 4526 Telephone Rd. #202 Ventura, CA 93003. The person owning or interested in said business is: Freetime, Inc. 4526 Telephone Rd. #202 Ventura, CA 93003. NOTICES

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Lessons & Workshops COMIC BOOK WORKSHOP

Want to learn the basics of comic book art, story-telling, and character design? Register now for a special 8 week workshop: “Introduction to Comic Book ArtCharacter Design�. Classes are open for kids and young adults ages 10 and up. Perfect for the child who just loves to dream or for the budding artist. Classes start Saturday, April 7th, and continue every Saturday after that. Time:4:00 — 5:30pm To register, go to www.allenslane. org and use the easy online form or download the form and mail it off. Registration deadline is 3 business days prior to the first class. For all questions, call 215-248-0546 ext. 3 Classes will be held at the amazing Allen’s Lane Art Center 601 West Allens Lane ~ Philadelphia, PA 19119 EARN $500 A DAY

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BEST OPPORTUNITY EVER! Returning Calls, No Selling, For Proof Leave Message 1-800636-7967.

Health Services RAW VEGAN FOOD DELIVERY

GRAND OPENING. Get delicious gourmet prepared raw organic vegan food delivered fresh to your door. www.RawToYourDoor.com

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jobs

Help Wanted – Regional COMPUTER SYSTEMS ANALYSTS

PricewaterhouseCoopers,

Help Wanted – General AIRLINES ARE HIRING:

Train for high paying Aviation Maintenance Career. FAA approved program. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance (888) 834-9715. $ATTENTION!

We buy Frac Sand trucking companies and complete sand rigs. Must have tractors, blowers & pneumatic trailers. Call Now! 1-800-397-2672. DELAWARE RIVER NIGHTCLUB IS HIRING!

High volume seasonal restaurant and nightclub on the Delaware River Waterfront is hiring all positions (Bartenders, Servers, Cocktail Servers, Hostesses, Barbacks, Security and Kitchen). APPLY IN PERSON ONLY on Saturday, March 31, Noon to 5pm, at 417 Nor th Columbus Blvd, Philadelphia PA. 19123 Please bring Resume and attached photo of self. Compensation: Tips/Hourly Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster. Please, no phone calls about this job! Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests. GENERAL HELP WANTED

$9/hr Plus Bonus. Interview Today, Start Tomorrow. PT/FT. 215-271-0188 HELP WANTED

BECOME A SURROGATE MOTHER!!! Generous Compensation! Help an infertile couple! Non-smoker, 21-42 years old. Must have given birth. Visit www.newlifesurrogacy.com Or call 212-9697419.

HELP WANTED DRIVER

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Exp. Reefer Drivers; GREAT PAY/ Freight lanes from Presque Isle, ME, Boston-Lehigh, PA. 800-277-0212 or primeinc.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

HIRING EXPERIENCED/INEXPERIENCED TANK DRIVERS! Great Benefits and Pay! New Fleet Volvo Tractors! 1 Year OTR Exp. Req.- Tanker Training Available. Call Today: 877-882-6537 www.OakleyTransport.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

NEW TO TRUCKING? Your new career starts now! *80 Tuition *No Credit Check *Great Pay & Benefits. Short employment commitment required. Call: (866) 873-9396 www. joinCRST.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Premier trucking co seeking experienced driver for local pickup & delivery position at York, PA service center. Requires. Class A CDL with Hazmat & Tanker. Home daily and weekends. Excellent benefits with low cost to employee. www.aduiepyle.com 800-9012204, x6138 HELP WANTED SALES

Combined Insurance is looking for agent and sale management candidates. New Agent Training. Subsidy Bonus Program, training, benefits, leads. Contact Rebecca at 412-443-8376. EOE HELP WANTED!!!

Make money Mailing brochures from home! FREE Supplies! Helping HomeWorkers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity! No experience required. Start immediately! www.theworkhub.net $$$HELP WANTED$$$

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-4057619 Ext. 2450 http://www. easyworkjobs.com

HELP WANTED

LIVE-WORK-PARTY-PLAY! Play in Vegas, Hang in LA, Jet to New York! Hiring 18-24 girls/guys. $400-$800 wkly. Paid expenses. Signing Bonus. Call 1-877-259-6983. HELP WANTED DRIVER

15TH/SPRUCE:

Lrg 1Bdrm in Sought after Location, Beautiful Art Deco details, Front Desk Attendant, HW Flrs, Onsite Laundry, Updated Kitch, Wonderful City Views. $1120/Mo. 215-7358030. Lic #219789. 15TH/SPRUCE: BEAUTIFUL ART DECO HIGH-RISE

Studio Apt, Desk Attendant, HW Flrs, Updated Kitchen, Onsite Laundry, Intercom Entry, Amazing Location! $990/Mo. Available May. 215735-8030. Lic #219789. 15TH/SPRUCE: RARE OPPORTUNITY

for a 2Bdrm apt in unique art deco high-rise. Amazing views, Central Location, HW Floors, Desk Attendant. $1500/mo. Available April. 215-735-8030. Lic #219789.

RITTENHOUSE SQUARE:

Enormous 3bdrm w/ 2 Full Baths in Beautiful Historic Brownstone, Full Size Washer/ Dryer in Apt, HW Flrs, 2 Decorative Fireplaces, Hi Ceilings, Newly Remodeled Kitchen w/ Granite Countertop, Separate Dining Rm, Living Rm, & Family Rm, A/C, Spacious Rooms, Terrific Location! $2750/Mo. 215-735-8030. #216850

Studio/ Efficiency 9TH/PINE:

real estate

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Homes for Sale

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Land/ Lots for Sale

DUPLEX $285K

S Philly awesome 2 unit bldg faces park newer const w 2 parking spaces. Bob 215485-1717

LAND FOR SALE

Tioga County-40 wooded acres with electricity and maintained road frontage. Close to state land. Perc, sur-

DOCKET NUMBER: CP 10L0019 COMMONWEALTH OF MASSACHUSETTS Juvenile Court Department Lowell Division 89 Appleton Street. Lowell, MA 01852 TO: HAYDEE RIVERA A petition has been presented to this court by DCF, seeking, as to the subject child(ren), SIXTO ANTONIO TORRES AND JAZMIN HEIDI TORRES, that said child(ren) be found in need of care and protection and committed to the Department of Children and Families. The court may dispense the right of the person named herein to receive notice of or to consent to any legal proceeding affecting the adoption, custody, or guardianship or any other disposition of the child(ren) named herein, if it Âżnds that the child(ren) is/are in need of care and protection and that the best interests of the child(ren) is/are in need of care and protection and that the best interests of the child(ren) would be served by said disposition. You are hereby ORDERED to appear in this court, at the court address set forth above, on 04/10/12, at 9:00 a.m., for a PRE-TRIAL CONFRENCE. You may bring an attorney with you. If you have a right to an attorney and if the court determines that you are indigent, the court will appoint an attorney to represent you.

Roommates

If you fail to appear, the court may proceed on that date and any date thereafter with a trial on the merits of the petition and an adjudication of this matter.

CITY VIEW - 1BR, $1400

Great 1 bedroom apartment available for immediate occupancy! This condo is in the north tower of City View - located in the heart of Fairmount, just one block from Whole Foods, Philadelphia Sports Club. From the condo it is a very short walk to the Philadelphia Museum of Art, Free Library of Philadelphia, Center City business district or Kite & Key, Jack’s Firehouse, Bishop’s Collar and many more great local watering holes. The rent is $1400/ month and it INCLUDES ALL UTILITIES. There is both central air and heating in the unit and it comes cable ready. The apartment can also come furnished if you would like - for no additional cost! This condo

CARE AND PROTECTION TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS SUMMONS BY PUBLICATION

1Bdrm in charming brownstone. HW Floors, Updated Kitchen/Bath, Onsite Laundry, Intercom Entry. $960/mo. Available May. 215-735-8030. Lic #216245

ALL AREAS-ROOMATES. COM

Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http:// www.Roommates.com.

Vacation/ Seasonal Rental VACATION RENTALS

OCEAN CITY, MARYLAND. Best selection of affordable rentals. Full/partial weeks. Call for FREE brochure. Open daily. Holiday Real Estate. 1-800638-2102 Online reservations: www.holidayoc.com.

For further information call the OfÂżce of the Clerk-Magistrate at 978-441-2630. WITNESS:Jay Blitzman. FIRST JUSTICE Asst. Elizabeth Sheehy. Clerk-Magistrate DATE ISSUED: 02/08/12

3PRING 'ARDEN )NDOOR /UTDOOR 6INTAGE

&LEA -ARKET

ATTENTION DIABETICS with Medicar. Get a FREE talking meter and diabetic testing supplies at NO COST, plus FREE home delivery! Best of all, this meter eliminates painful finger pricking! Call 888-856-1106.

Drivers- DAILY PAY! Hometime choices; Express lanes 7/ON-7/OFF, 14/ON-7/OFF, WEEKLY. Full and Part-time. New trucks! CDL-A, 3 months recent experience required. 800-414-9569 www.driveknight.com Drivers-CDL-A, DRIVE WITH PRIDE. Up to $3,000 Sign-On Bonus for Qualified Drivers! CDL& 6mo. OTR exp. REQ’D. USA TRUCK 877-521-5775 www.usatruck.jobs.

Apartments for Rent

NOTICE/ANNOUNCEMENTS

HELP WANTED

EARN $1000-$2000 a month to drive our new cars with ads. www.PaidDriver.com

rentals

is freshly painted with new carpet and many other great features. There is a HUGE walk-in closet off the bedroom as well as a great closet in the entrance and shelving built in for the bathroom. Other amenities include - 24 hour gym on the ground floor in the building (free to residents), great outdoor pool open for the summer (free to residents) and 24 hour security. Laundry is available on the same floor as the unit - coin operated machines ($3.00 to wash and dry one load) Please contact for showing ASAP!

GENTLY MOVING YOUR EARTHLY POSSESSIONS

215.670.9535

WWW.MAMBOMOVERS.COM

EVERY SATURDAY NOW THRU MARCH 31ST 820 SPRING GARDEN STREET (9TH & SPRING GARDEN) PHILA, PA 19123

8AM TIL 4PM MORE THAN 60 VENDORS!

@2?C602@

Torchia & Associates

CONCIERGE LEGAL SERVICES GENERAL PRACTICE – ESTATE & TAX PLANNING

1420 Walnut Street, Suite 1216 215-546-1950; watorchia@gmail.com Williamtorchiaesquire.vpweb.com

GO ON A TREASURE HUNT! BARGAINS GALORE! FREE PARKING / FREE ADMISSION / ATM FOOD COURT / HANDICAP ACCESSIBLE

Our Vendors Accept All Major Credit Cards!

215 - 625 - FLEA (3532) For Our Complete Spring / Summer Schedule Log Onto:

www.PhilaFleaMarkets.org

59

WANTED DIABETIC TEST STRIPS: Any Kind/Brand. Up to $25.00/Box. SHIPPING PAID. Hablamo Espanol.. 1800-266-0702 www.selldiabeticstrips.com

COMMERCIAL MORTGAGES

vey, possible owner financing. $139,000. 800-668-8679.

D r i ve r s : S i g n O n B o nu s $2000-$7500. Solo & Teams. 1 year OTR. CDL-A-Hazmat Up to .513 (877) -628-3748 www.driveNCTrans.com

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A R C H 2 2 - M A R C H 2 8 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

Pursuant to $128.85 of the Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture Title 7 regulations, GROWMARK FS, LLC. hereby gives notice of ground application of “Restricted Use Pesticides� for the protection of agricultural crops in municipalities in Pennsylvania during the next 45 days. Residents of contiguous property to our application sites should contact your local GROWMARK FS, LLC, facility for additional information. Concerned Citizens should contact: Michael Layton, MGR. Safety & Environment, mlayton@growmarkfs.com GROWMARK FS LLC. 308 N.E. Front Street, Milford, DE 19963. Call 302422-3002.

Business Services

HELP WANTED DRIVER

classifieds

Adopt: A loving, educated, well traveled couple hoping to adopt a newborn. Home filled with love, laughter. Nearby extended family awaits. Please call: Lisa/Brian 1-888-9398399 www.Lbadopt.info

ANY CAR/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid.We Come to You! Call for Instant Offer. 1888-420-3808 www.cash4car. com

LLP has an opportunity for the following position in Philadelphia, PA. Sr. Associate. Reqs. recent exp w/in the following: 2 yrs of IT & business strategy ops exp w/a Big 4 Acctg Firm; Exp w/global IT & business process re-engineering & sourcing engagements. Travel req. 80-100%. Reqs. incl. Master’s deg in Ops Rsrch, Mgt Info Sys, Bus Info Sys, Bus Admin or rel & 2 yrs recent exp. Mail resume to Attn: HR SSC/ Talent Mgt, 3109 W. MLK Jr. Blvd., Tampa, FL 33607, Ref #PHISBH. Must be legally authorized to work in the U.S. w/out sponsorship. EOE

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

market place

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Automotive Marketplace

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

on Save 65% the Family Value Combo 45069YRY

Plus 3 Free Gifts

to every shipping address. 2 (5 oz.) Filet Mignons 4 FREE Omaha Steaks Burgers, 2 (5 oz.) Top Sirloins a FREE 6-piece Cutlery Set, 4 (4 oz.) Omaha Steaks Burgers and a FREE Cutting Board. 4 (3 oz.) Gourmet Franks 4 (4 oz. approx.) Boneless Chicken Breasts 4 Stuffed Baked Potatoes Save

Reg. $14400 | Now Only

4999

$

9401

$

Limit of 2 Packages. Standard Shipping and Handling will be added per address. Your free gifts will ship per address and must ship with an order of The Family Value Combo or purchase of $49 or more. Not valid with any other offer. Expires 4/30/12.

To order: www.OmahaSteaks.com/value53 or call 866-568-9897

THE HISTORIC

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LENNOX APARTMENTS

13883-M6

PHOTO BY NEAL SANTOS

©2012 OCG OmahaSteaks.com, Inc.

ADOP

ME

• SPACIOUS STUDIOS AND ONE BEDROOM UNITS • BEAUTIFUL APARTMENTS WITH NEW KITCHENS AND BATHROOMS • HARDWOOD FLOORS AND NEW APPLIANCES • MINUTES FROM CHESTNUT HILL AND CENTER CITY • TWO BLOCKS FROM SEPTA’S TULPEHOCKEN STATION • LAUNDRY ON SITE • FRIENDLY ON SITE MANAGEMENT AND MAINTENANCE STAFF

Prices Starting at: Studios $595 and One Bedrooms $695 232-242 W. Walnut Lane, Philadelphia, PA 19144 www.thelennoxapartments.com

(267) 297-7123

T

GREG!

PIT BULL MIX – 3 YEARS OLD

Hi! My name is Greg, and I am en extremely friendly and affectionate boy who loves to squeeze into laps for snuggles! I was found wandering the streets of Port Richmond, and I’m now waiting at PAWS for someone who’ll love me forever. Is it you? I am learning to be a great jogging partner, and I could easily live with other dogs and kids (but no cats, please). Come to 2nd & Arch to meet me today! Located on the corner of 2nd and Arch.

All PAWS animals are spayed/neutered, vaccinated, and microchipped before adoption. For more information, call 215-238-9901 ext. 30 or email adoptions@phillypaws.org

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

School Police Frontice Piece, last seen in vicinity of 7th/Dickinson 484-494-4890

Laptops Net Ready, MS Office, Wireless From $165. 500 games $10, 610.453.2525

BABY GRAND PIANO, YAMAHA 5 ft 8 in., Disklavier Mark III series, model # DC2A. Mint Cond. $20,000. (610)566-8930

BOBCAT T300 2004 $5500, mays4dy@msn.com or 610-482-4520

2012 Hot Tub/Spa. Brand New! 6 person, Color, Lights, Waterfall, Cover. Factory warranty. Never installed! Cost $7,000. Asking $3,200. 610-952-0033

BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826 CABINETS SOLID MAPLE Brand new soft close/dovetail. Crown molding. Can add or subtract to fit kitchen Cost $6400. Sell $1595. 610-952-0033 Pinball machines, shuffle bowling al leys. Will trade for new fibreglass deck tntquality@aol.com 215.783.0823

DIABETIC TEST STRIPS NEEDED- cash paid, local pickup. Call Faith 856.882.9015 Diabetic Test Strips needed pay up to $10/box. Most brands. Call 610-453-2525 I Buy Anything Old...Except People! antiques-collectables, Al 215-698-0787 I Buy Vintage Jewelry, Cufflinks, watches & Ladies items, any condition, Please Call (267)974-8801 JUNK CARS WANTED Up to $300 for Junk Cars 215-888-8662 Lionel/Am Flyer/Trains/Hot Whls $$$$ Aurora TJet/AFX Toy Cars 215-396-1903

PSYCHIC SELF-DEFENSE: Programming/Free Tape 215-338-6447

BUYING EAGLES SBL’s & TICKETS

jobs

CALL 215-669-1924

EAGLE SEAT Licenses (SBL) buy/sell here, EAGLESBL.COM 610-945-4700 WANTED: EAGLES SBL’S True Eagles fan, Call 610-586-6981

Bd a Queen Pillow top matt set $175; King $250 mem foam $295. 215-752-0911 BD Mattress memory foam w/box sprIng Brand New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399. 610-952-0033

33&45 RECORDS HIGHER $ REALLY PAID

** Bob 610-532-9408 ***

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $

BED: Brand New Queen Pillowtop Mattress Set w/warr, In plastic. $160; Twin $140; 3 pc King $265; Full set $155. Memory foams avl. Del. avl 215-355-3878 Bedroom set 6 pc. Cherry Brand new, in box $499. 215-752-0911

Wanted Local Accountant Southampton Area, to prepare tax return 215-942-4699

* * * 215-200-0902 * * *

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-689-8476

Coins, Currency, Gold, Toys,

Trains, Hummels, Sports Cards. Call the Local Higher Buyer, 7 Dys/Wk

Dr. Sonnheim, 856-981-3397

NEW MATTRESS Sets $125, Twin, Full Queen (in plastic) delivery (215)307-1950

Coins, MACHINIST TOOLS, Militaria, Swords, Watches, Jewelry 215-742-6438

everything pets pets/livestock Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

Cockapoo- male, 9 wks, vet checked, shots, wormed. Call 215-989-1506 Cocker Spaniel PUPS 1MALE 1FEMALE DAME & SIRE FAMILY PETS W/PAPERS AN SHOTS.$700 856-426-9683 AFTER 6PM

COLLIES - smart, loving, AKC, show groomed. Top eye exam. (856)825-4856 Doberman Pups, AKC, 6M, 1F, $600. raised in my home. 302-286-7560 English Bulldog pups, 10 wks & 30 wks (cheaper) grandparents & parents on premise, shots, papers. 215-696-5832 German Shep Pups: Large Boned. Parents on prem. Good w/kids. www.jolindys.com. 410-957-1279 GOLDEN-DOODLES, Standard, F1, parents on premises, health guarantee, $500-$1000. Call (484)678-6696

Mini Shih-Tzu’s ACA registered, parents on premises, great temperament, health gaurnteed, $800. Call 484-678-6696

Pit Bull: Camelot Red Nose puppies www.DelawareRedPitBulls.com *health guar., *current shots, *ADBA reg. $1000. Matt (302)750-4882 Pit Bull Pups 13 weeks $300, parents on prem. NE Phila. 215-668-7051 Poodle Puppies: Standard, home raised, 5 months, 3 males, 2 chocolate, 1 white, $400. Call 610-489-3781

Puggles 1st generation, shot, wormed, 1 year health gaurantee . (609)499-3378 Rottweiler pups, AKC, ready now, s/w, vet checked, $500. 717-940-7249 Shih Tzu Jatzu pups $400 or best offer. 215-806-3051. Shih Tzu Pup $500 8wk female ACA 1st shots. 215-226-2474

Golden Retriever Puppies, family raised, AKC, show quality, $800. 717-548-0946

SIBERIAN HUSKY PUPPIES with blue eyes, Farm raised, shots, dewormed, extra cute. $300/ea. 610-593-1391 ext: 3

Havanese Pups AKC Registered, parents on site, health guaranteed, $800-$1500. Please Call 484-678-6696

West HighlandTerrier pups, health guar., fam. raised, $600. 610-763-9371

Lab Pups AKC- blacks & yellows, health guaranteed, $500. (814)441-2142

YORKSHIRE TERRIER male, 7 weeks, registered, shots, wormed, parents on premise, $800. Call 609-330-6950

MA/Receptionist

ACME MARKETS

FT, Must be able to multitask, work flexible hrs, & travel. F)866.459.2825

Now Hiring at the new Acme in Bryn Mawr, 601 West Lancaster Ave., 19010. immediate interviews. Friday March 23rd, 12pm to 6pm. Saturday March 24th, 12pm to 6pm. at the Radnor Hotel. 595 East Lancaster Ave. St. Davids, PA 19087. Acme, become a team member that will lead to a career of possibilities. Apply online at www.acmemarkets.com.

S. Philadelphia

Transplant Coordinator Level 1 New Jersey Organ & Tissue Sharing Network

Various NJ Locations NJ Sharing Network saves and enhances lives through stewarding the gift of organ and tissue donation. We are seeking dedicated, eager, compassionate, and team focused individuals for a full-time position as: Transplant Coordinator Level 1 Facilitates the organ and tissue donor process through assessment, donor management, authorization, organ placement, and surgical recovery.RN or bachelor’s degree in biology or medical sciences and two to four years of related experience and/or training required. Experience in trauma/critical care preferred. Must have a valid drivers’ license and able to drive at all hours under all conditions. NJ Sharing Network offers competitive salaries and exceptional benefits. FAX or EMAIL resume with cover letter and salary history to: New Jersey Organ and Tissue Sharing Network Human Resource Dept Fax: 908-516-5550 Email: hrrecruit@sharenj.org www.sharenj.org EOE/M/F/D/V

PHYSICAL, OCCUPATIONAL AND SPEECH THERAPY Philadelphia

Bryn Mawr, PA

Philadelphia & Suburbs

No Experience- PT $24K/FT $62K. Email resumes to: CareersWithMetro @gmail .com

Mechanic/Electrician Philadelphia, PA

Accounts Payable/Receivable

Well established printing company seeks qualified candidate with printing press repair exp. Contact Ginny 215-425-8800 or Gzink@sed.com

Berwyn, PA

American Freedom Assurance, Inc. is seeking an accounting professional for accounts payable/receivable, payroll, and month-end reconciliations. 5 years experience and accounting degree required. CPA preferred. Candidate will need to build financial models to include cost center reviews, annualized budgets, various what if scenarios, just to name a few. Strong excel skills a must. AFA is an EOE. Email resumes to hr@afatitle.com or fax to 610-441-7560.

CLASS ’A’ CDL JOBS

LOCAL and REGIONAL

$$$ BUILD YOUR OWN PLAN: HOURLY OR MILEAGE HOMETIME, HEALTH, 401K Guaranteed Min. Pay BONUS PAY 2x YR LATE AND NEW TRUCKS Hiring Company Drivers O/O’s - Straight Truck & T/T Call to plan your future 800-777-0458 ext. 108

Fulltime, part-time and PRN positions available for PT, PTA, OTR, COTA, AND SLP in Philadelphia for long term care settings. Must be PA licensed and certified. Competitive salary and benefits will be offered. Regional and Site Management positions also available. Berwyn, PA 301-707-0264 Colin American Freedom Assurance, Inc., 301-697-2914 Brooke a national title insurance agency is (301)722-0159 fax seeking an Operations Manager. crebert@careventures.net 5 years management experience in balkire@careventures.net the mortgage and/or title industry as well as P&L review experience preferred. Candidates must possess the following skills: exemplary customer service, strong issue resolution, and time management.

Operations Manager

To learn more or to find the right person for your job, visit your local partner at philly.com/monster

PUBLIC ADJUSTERS NEEDED!

Email resumes to hr@afatitle.com or fax to 610-441-7560. AFA is an EOE.

SMART HOME TECHNOLOGY SALES Warrendale, PA

Guardian is a 60 + year-old company seeking top-level talent to sell smart technologies in existing homes that include on-site and remote home management of lighting, locks, thermostats, and security systems. In home sales experience is a plus. We offer a base salary plus commission, car/ phone allowance, medical benefits, and 401K. First year sales consultants earn $40K plus. Pros can earn $100K + Email resumes to lwallace@gpsx.net or fax to 877-314-7091. www.guardianprotection.com

Flatbed Dispatcher Paoli, PA

Multitasking, CPU skills (Outlook, internet), phone, typing, and ability to prioritize a must! AS400 knowledge preferred. Reply with resume to: bluegrassrick11@comcast.net

To learn more or to find the right person for your job, visit your local partner at philly.com/monster

61

Akita Pups, AKC, white w/ red markings, health cert, $1200. 215-946-3166 AKITA pure bred, 1st shots, mostly black with good markings $650. 570-394-7953 American Bulldog/Pit Mix Pups - M & F. Born 1/24/12, $150/ea. 215-768-0926 American Bully Pits. All blue. 3F, 8 wks $800. bigshil03@aol.com 609-517-1178 American Pit Bull Xtra Lg Pups & Adults UKC, Ch. bldline. Start @ $800 Call Mike 215-407-9458; www.blueprintbullies.com Cane Corso 100% FULL BLOOD PUPPIES 5M/3F ALL COLORS TAILS DOCKED SHOTS AND WORMED ICCF REG/PAPERS PAR-ENTS ON PREMISES $500. 215-421-8105 Cavalier King Charles puppies Vet checked, health guarantee. Delivery available $750 to $850. (717)821-4953

Cavalier King Charles Spaniel Puppies available, Call 215-538-2179

jobs

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A R C H 2 2 - M A R C H 2 8 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

Bedroom Set brand new queen 5 pc esp. brown $489; twin, full, king size avail. Mattress Avail. Del Avail 215-355-3878

Certified Nurses Aide 21 years exp Nursing home & private duty (484)374-7226 Elder Care, if you need caring and personal helper, please call 215-695-0235 or 646-752-3123 Experienced home health aid is looking for work to take care of the elderly in their home or health facility. Honest & reliable. Call 610-284-3471 or 267-581-4289

classifieds

merchandise market

food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

apartment marketplace GOT BED BUGS?

267-994-4815

ALL AREAS

Locust at Broad Lux studio Condo $990 incl util, gym, C/A, wifi, d/w 856.234.6491

13xx S 22nd St. 2br $775+utils recent reno, hwd flrs, w/d 856-906-5216 15th & Wharton 1 BR $650+gas/elec references required. Call 856-465-3464 32nd & Dickinson 1br $600+utils well kept, w/d, fridge, Dave 610-352-6491

22xx S. 63rd 2br $700 2nd floor, section 8 ok. (610)812-6352

13xx S. 58th 1BR $625 heat & water incl. Call 215-921-2769

60XX Warnock 1 BR $595+ near Fernrock Train Station,215-276-8534 Eli Ct.-1418 Conlyn/Julien- 5600 Ogontz Convenient Living near LaSalle University Stud. 450-$575 1br 575-$675 2br $775 Gas, Water, Heat Free- SEC 8 WELCOME Call to schedule appt @ 215-276-5600 LaSALLE UNIV AREA 4BR 1.5BA hdwd flrs, full kitchen, Patio $1650/ month NOT incl utils. 215-850-6618

1xx W. Manheim 1br/1ba $550. Lg, Newly Renov, kit & ba 215-668-3990 5000 N. 20th St. 1BR $500 Efficiency apt. Call 215-455-6135 5220 Wayne Ave. Studio & 1 BR on site lndry, 215-744-9077, Lic# 507568 52XX Germantown Ave Efficiency $400+ 3rd flr, nice sm efficiency. 215-783-4736 Fieldview Apts-705 E. Church Lane Penn Lee Court- 557 E. Church Lane Studio 575-$600, 1br700-$750, 2br $850 Gas, Water, Heat Free- SEC. 8 WELCOME Call to schedule appt @ 215-276-5600 GERMANTOWN 1br $700+electric 3rd flr loft, tile bath w/jacuzzi, modern kit, walk-in closet, deck. 215-848-5513

6011 Chestnut St. 3Br $650 1st flr, 2 mo rent, 1 mo sec 484.802.8782

DOMINO LN 1 & 2 BR $725-$875 Renovated, parking, d/w, near shopping & dining, FIRST MONTH FREE 215-500-7808

West 1br $525+utilities. 1st floor, For info call 215-879-6666

2xx N 65th St 3br $900 heat/hot wtr inc 2 mo sec. private entry, off street prkg, w/w carpet, large yard 215-477-9236

67xx Media St. 1BR $610+utils Lovely, 2 mo. sec. Call 215-748-3327

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Various 1, 2 & 3 BR Apts $625-$925 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

59xx Woodcrest Ave. 2BR/1BA $750 Includes water, 1st floor duplex, no pets, near R5. Sec. dep. Call 215-342-3448

16xx Huntingdon 1br $500/mo Studio apt $400/mo. Pay gas & Electric. 1st/last/security. Call 215-559-9289

2253 N 16th St. 2 BR $650 newly renov, near Temple, 215-768-8410

67xx Chew Ave. Efficiency $550 + utils Nice, large, newly renov., close to public transp. & shops. Call 215-849-3758 GREENE & HARVEY - SPRING SPECIAL! Lux. Garden type 1BR’s Newly dec, w/w, g/d, a/c, cable ready, Laundry/off st prkg. Nr trans 215-275-1457 215-233-3322 Green Tree Apts-330 West Johnson St. Modern & Quiet Living in West Mt. Airy Starting-1BR $700-$750 & 2BR $900 Gas,Water,Heat Free-Move In Specials Call to schedule appt. 215-276-5600

13xx W. 65th Ave. Lg. 1BR $650 Tree lined street, convenient transp., tastefully renovated, spacious new kitch. with natural oak cabinets & micro., gorgeous refin. hdwd. flrs., tiled bath. Could be used as a student 2BR. Call 215-2421204 or 215-820-5957

9xx E. Tioga 1BR / 1BA $425+utils w/w carpets, renovated. 215-424-2785

4645 Penn St. 1BR $625. newly renov gas/wtr inc 215-781-8072

390 E Cliveden St 2br $700 w/garage, newly renov, 215-768-8410

1,2, 3, 4 Bedroom FURNISHED APTS LAUNDRY-PARKING 215-223-7000 12xx Airdrie St. 2 BR $650 spacious rooms, updated kitchen, conv lo cation, 267-872-4709 or 267-304-3220 Broad & Stiles 1br $600+utils secured, spacious rms, hdwd, ceramic kit, fin. lower level, parking (267)918-1420

5000 N. 8th St. 1 BR 1 BA $650+ elec Large apartment. Call 267-816-6907. 53xx N. 12th St 2BR apt, 2nd flr, nr Einstein, Sec 8 ok! $750+. 215-887-8288 Boluevard & Broad vic. 1br $595+utils spacious, 1st floor, newly renovated, porch, backyard, hdwd flrs 215-782-8007 CAMAC ST. 2BR $585+utils 2nd floor, 4 rooms, carpet & window treatments, shared yard, (267)608-0182

1011 Fanshawe St. 2BR/1BA $775 YARD, W/D, STORAGE, W/W, NEW RENO, PATIO, CLOSE TO TRANS. 215- 588-6543 12xx Friendship St 2BR/1BA $825 +utils Spacious 2nd flr, lots of closets, fresh decor. Avail Apr. 1. No pets. 215-768-5415 35xx RYAN AVE 1br $700+ 2nd floor, section 8 ok. 267-736-9862 40xx Blk Claridge, 1 br, hrdwd flr, balcny. $600 +, free water, New paint. 1 mo rent + 1 mo sec. to Move in. 267-455-5302 4647 Adams Ave 1br & 2br Newly renov. 215-744-9077 lic#433314 6812 Ditman St. 1 BR prkg,lndry fac.Lic# 212751. 215-744-9077 Fox Chase 1br/1ba $650 2nd flr, new: kitchen, bath, crpt & paint. a/c, garbage disposal, 215-354-0069 Fox Chase 1br $725 free heat, hot water & gas. 215-901-6934 Frankford & Morrell 2br $850+util 1st flr, garage, basement, 267-342-1993 PHILMONT HEIGHTS 2 BR 1st flr $825 new kitch, w/w & paint, gar, 267.467.1596

resorts/rent

Cambridge St. 4br/1.5ba $1500+utils off street parking, hdwd flrs 215.834.0703 Spring Garden St. 2BR/2BA $1500 Bi-level condo. Pristine cond. w/ fireplace, W/D & deck, avail 4/1. 267-767-3400

WARMINSTER Lg 1-2-3 BR Sect. 8 OK 2 MONTHS FREE RENT!!! HURRY!! Pets & smoking ok. We work with credit problems. Call for Details: 215-443-9500

SW (Elmwood Area) modern 3br house new crpts, sect. 8 welcome 215.726.8817

W 6th Ave. 1br apt 2nd flr $800 priv. entry, 1st, last & sec., (610)828-1166

13xx N. Robinson 3BR / 1BA $800+utils w/w carpets, renovated. 215-424-2785

SW Philly (Woodland Ave.) Sec. 8 ready. Call 215.726.8817

4BR

Royersford 2br $875+utils newly renov., private prkg (215)799-2364

17xx E Wash Ln $450 mo, use of kitch close trans/mall, cable avail267.236.3450 1940 W. V ENANGO - 1 Room. No Cooking, $100wk. (215)225-2067 20th & Allegheney: Furn. Luxury Rooms. Free utils, cable, internet. 267-331-5382

40XX Haverford furnished rms for rent Seniors Place $500/mo. 267-601-6855 49th & Haverford, newly renovated room, $100-$125/wk, use of kitchen, great location, no drugs. (484)431-3670

60xx Vine St, $115/week, 2 week security, cable tv, Please Call Gee 267-767-4496 61st/Race St; Broad & Allegheny, Priv. ent, fresh paint, use of kit, w/w, grt loc! $110/wk $270/move in 267-997-5212

ALLEGHENY $90/wk. $270 sec dep Nr L train, furn, quiet. 609-703-4266

17xx N. Aberdeen St. 3BR $885 Free rent 1st month, hardwood flrs, new kitch, Sec 8 ok. Call 267-978-8396

Frankford, furnished, near bus & El, $85/wk & up + $295 sec. 215-526-1455 LaSalle Univ area $125/week Renov furn rooms 215-843-4481 N. CUMBERLAND spacious room, share ba, kit. sep. ent. SSI accptd 267-516-6235 NE Phila near Levick, room for rent, $425/mo. utils inc. (609)222-0886 Norristown -- Trooper Rd, ROOMS for Rent, $500/mo. 215-768-3452 North 57th St. $125/wk. Very lrg, newly renov., furn. 267.997.5583 N Phila Furn, Priv Ent $75 & up . No drugs, SSI ok. available now 215.763.5565 N. Phila. Temple Hosp. renov., kitch/ cable avail $110-$125. 267-972-6716 N. PHIL ROOMS FIT FOR A KING NEWLY RENOV! BRAND NEW CARPET. BRAND NEW WALLS! NEUTRAL COLORS! JUST BEAUTIFUL! BROAD ST. AND HUNTINGDON PK. PERFECT LOCATION! $100-150/ WK. DEP PLUS 1ST WK TO MOVE IN. MUST SEE! 267-973-2284

Richmond room, use of kitch, nr transp. Seniors welcome/SSI ok 215-634-1139 SW Phila. $100-$115/week, Clean, kit. 610-348-0121 or 267-804-0101 SW Philadelphia Room for rent. $250 move in, share kit & bath. 267-251-2749 Univ City & Mantua: Large Lux Room, With deck and jacuzzi, college special, starting $500/mo. (215)681-9669

W Phila & G-town: newly ren lg, lux rms /apts. ALL utils incl, SSI ok, 215-519-4715

automotive

Triumph TR6 1975 $12,000 Jaguar XJS Convert. 1986 $12,000 exc. cond., 610-348-2760 or 449-7130

CASH FOR CARS - Any Type of Vehicles: High Quality orJunk Cars. (732)221-4008

Cash paid on the spot for unwanted vehicles, 24/7 pick up, 215-288-9500

Junk Cars & Trucks Wanted, $400, Call 856-365-2021

Dodge Grand Caravan 2003 $5,500 V6, spec. ed., excel. cond. 215-677-6135

JUNK CARS WANTED 24/7 REMOVAL. Call 267-377-3088

Civic EX 2004 $6750/obo blk/blk, 2 dr, sharp in/out 215-266-5138 51xx Reno St. 2BR,1BA $650/mo. 1st, last, 1mo. sec. Call 267-338-8778

244 N. Simpson Street 3br/1ba $895 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

17xx Georges Lane 3br $850+utils nr school & transportation 215-421-4849

14xx N Dover St. 2br/1ba $650/mo recent rehab, yard, call 215-519-5437

2xx E. Cheltenham 3br $925 C/A, deck, 1st/last/sec. (215)828-6293 48xx Gransback St. 3br $950+utils porch, garage, sec 8 ok, 267-992-3233

Broad & Hunting Park - $100/week, clean, near transportation. 215-206-3832

Broad & Olney deluxe furn room priv ent $110 -$145wk. Sec $200. 215-572-8833

Sea Isle City 1 BR Studio w/ futon, Near Beach, Parking, Central Air, Seasonal $6500. Call 609-314-2349

Notice for abandoned vehicles, Gold ’99 Toyota Camry & Blue ’99 Saab 900, have 10 days to reclaim, otherwise your vehicle will be sold to pay for past due amount.

2br & 3br Houses Section 8 welcome beautifully renovated, (267)981-2718

Broad & Erie, share kit & bath $105 & up NO DRUGS 215.228.6078 or 215.229.0556

Broad & Lehigh - Fully furn rooms for rent, quiet block. Call 267-386-6641

Ocean City: sunny, spacious, duplex, 1br, $7950 season, $4250 half season, 1br with loft $8950/$4650. (609)398-1348

Chesapeake woods and waters campground, located near Tangires Sound in Chesapeake Bay. special 2012 campground rates. For info call 410-591-4027 www.cwawc.com

17xx Lindenwood St 3br $775 remod, no pets, 2 mo sec, 215-805-2983

55th/Thompson furn lg room $135wk, priv ent, $200 sec 215-572- 8833 5743 Cedar: LOOK nice rooms for rent, w/access to entire house 215-863-1235

N Wildwood 5BR Weekly with pool, avail 6/2-6/23, 8/18-8/25 & 9/1-9/8. Call 609-405-2881

Wildwood 1br Efficiency season $4000 +sec. 1 & 1/2 Blks to Beach 609-707-1990

13xx S. Markoe 2BR & 3BR Remodeled, section 8 ok. 215-609-5207

23rd & Hunting Pk., 2 lrg, clean, renov., w/w, $85-$100/wk., 215-570-0301

60th & Callowhill 1br $600+utils newly remodeled, Call (267)235-1499 P a r k s id e A r e a 2Br-6Br starting @ $800. Newly renov, new kit & bath, hdwd flrs, Section 8 OK. Call 267-324-3197

Rhawnhurst 2br $925+utils large, modern, LR, DR, kitch, garage, bsmt w/laundry hookup, (215)396-0400

20th & Allegheney: Furn. Luxury Rooms. Free utils, cable, internet. 267-331-5382

49th Chestnut/Walnut Vic2BR/1BA $765 plus utilities 610-792-9962 49th & Lancaster 2BR $725 ht included 1.5 mo. sec. dep., no pets (267)583-7561

homes for rent

Broad & Roosevelt 2br & 3br $700+ new renov., new carpet & kitch w/granite counter tops, Sec. 8 ok 215-463-6366

1xx W Logan Ave. 7br Sec. 8 2 month security, no pets, 215-539-7866 4xx E Rittenhouse 3br $750 nice block, hardwood floors, completely renov., gorgeous, sec. 8 ok 267-249-6645 Drexel Med. Vicinity 6br/2.5ba $2400 huge fully renov. house, everything brand new, bsmt, w/d, yard. 732-993-3634

41xx Rhawn St. 4BR/1.5BA rear yard, laundry 215-888-8662

$950+

5264 Glenloch 2BR $750+utils. Section 8 ok. Call (267) 808-8432 East Oaklane 3br $975 +utilities. Nice House, Great location, close to transp. 1st & last rent. 215-266-0309

Darby: 1013 Tyler Ave 5br/2ba $975mo 2mo sec,1mo rent, sec 8 ok 484.802.8782 Media 2br/2.5ba townhouse $1500 Luxury Pennell Place end unit townhome, den fireplace, deck, finishd basement, no pets, no smoking (610)459-0544 Up. Darby: Dermond St. 3br/2ba $1200 all newly renovated, clean, finished basement, beautiful street, (610)356-1130

Williamstowne/Monroe 4br $1500 detached garage & shop, 917-653-0272

A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOW ING , Call (215) 726-9053

DISCOVERY SE 2003 Best Offer 4 dr w/ 2 sunroofs, all extras, few orig mi, regulary serviced, woman driver, must sacrifice below book value. 215-627-1814

R 350 2006 $22,900 only 40k, loaded, blk/blk 267-241-4967

Ford Explorer XLT 2003 $7,500/obo Touring Edition, 4 door, leather, 6 cylinder, great on gas. Call 610-405-0318

Forenza 2007 $6500 gd cond, 41k, auto, 4 door 215-715-4647

Ford F-150 XLT 2002 Best Offer luxury, super ext. cab, chrome, running boards, few miles, sacrifice 215.629.0630

low cost cars & trucks Buick Century 1999 $2500/obo rns great, 85K, loaded, inps. 267.441.4612 Buick LeSabre 2005 $4275 Loaded, CD, alarm, clean. 267-592-0448 Cadillac Sedan 1977 $2500 estate sale, excellent 610-667-4829 Dodge Caravan 2000 $1550 auto, a/c, 4cyl, runs exc 215-620-9383 Ford F150 Lariat 1997 $4995 149k, exc cond, loaded, (215)673-4713 Hyundai Sonata 2002 $3750 4 door, full power, V6, leather int., 120k mi., inspected, clean, 215-813-0897 Lincoln TownCar 1988 $2900/obo Great cond, must sell 267.650.2548

PONTIAC GRAND PRIX 2000 $2,200 New brakes & inspec. Call 267-265-9212 RECESSION SPECIALS!!! Grand Marq ’97 system, rims, TVs $3500 Dodge Ram ’97 8ft bed, AC, beast $2222 Montana ’01 3 row, CD, 2 slide dr $1850 Grand Am ’03 4 dr, CD, rns 100% $2599 Chev Malibu ’04 CD, flawless, 4cyl$2599 All below KBB, wont last (215)520-7890

SATURN SL1 2002 $1850 4dr, 5spd, clean, 32mpg. 215-947-9840 VW Passat TDI 1997 $2495 200k, 5 speed, gorgeous 610-524-8835

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

classifieds

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P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A R C H 2 2 - M A R C H 2 8 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

63

billboard [ C I T Y PA P E R ]

MARCH 22 - MARCH 28, 2012 CALL 215-735-8444

STUDY GUITAR W/ THE BEST David Joel Guitar Studio 41035:4 $"'c featuring the girls of

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Bachelor Party Headquarters All Nude, All The Time Home Of The 5 min. Lap Dance 8:00pm – 5:00am

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FREE DRINKING SMARTPHONE APP!!!

All Styles All Levels. Former Berklee faculty member. Masters Degree with 27 yrs. teaching experience. 215.831.8640 www.myphillyguitarlessons.com

BEARDED BINGO At the El Bar

Tues, April 3rd, 7-9pm $10 to play

Building Blocks to Total Fitness 12 Years of experience. Offering personal fitness training, nutrition counseling, and flexibility training. Specialize in osteoporosis, injuries, special needs. In home or at 12th Street Gym. MCKFitness@yahoo.com

WEEKDAYS 5-7PM

SATURDAY

17 Rotating Drafts Close to 200 Bottles

www.devilsdenphilly.com www.facebook.com/devilsdenphiladelphia www.twitter.com/devilsdenphilly

525 West Girard Ave VINYL AND CD SPECIALISTS CLASSIC & MODERN GLOBAL SOUNDS HOUSE TECHNO DUBSTEP DUB DISCO FUNK SOUL JAZZ DIY PUNK LSD ROCK AND LIGHT HARMONY ROOTS BLUES NOISE AVANT AND MORE TUESDAY-SUNDAY 12-6PM 01-215-965-9616

AWARD WINNING, WORLD FAMOUS CUSTOM STUDIO ARTISTIC TATTOOING!

Philadelphia Eddies 621 Tattoo Haven 621 South 4th St (Middle of Tattoo Row) 215-922-7384 Open 7 Days

NOW HIRING BEAUTIFUL ENTERTAINERS AT THE PENTHOUSE CLUB! 3001 Castor Avenue. Stop by for Auditions!

Learn the Art of Rock

7-9pm $10 to play Lutheran Settlement House Presents BEARDED BINGO

I BUY RECORDS, CD’S, DVD’S

TEQUILA SUNRISE RECORDS

645 South Street, Philadelphia. 215-925-7357

FRIDAY

DJ MIKE NYCE & SONNY JAMES

NEW AT THE EL BAR!!!

4&-- #6: (0-% 4*-7&3

Collectibles, Antiques, Musical Instruments, Cameras, Electronics Check Cashing – Money Orders- Money Gram Agent. We Buy Gift Cards

SILK CITY

FREE PIZZA! $2 BEER OF THE WEEK! $2 WELL DRINKS! IT’S AMAZING! PASSYUNK AVE (7th & CARPENTER) 215-465-5505 myspace.com/thedivebar

KENSINGTON HAPPY MEAL! EVERY DAY UNTIL 7PM 2 ALL BEEF HOT DOGS A PBR POUNDER A BAG OF CHIPS AND A TOY ALL FOR $5

P H I L LY ’ S PA W N S H O P

Guitar, Bass and Drum Lessons www.rawku.com Call Daniel @ 215.844.7295

˜ ˜

HAPPY HOUR AT THE DIVE

Every First Tuesday At The El Bar

FLYGIRRL PRESENTS:

ANYTHING GOES

TOP PRICES PAID. No collection too small or large! We buy everything! Call Jon at 215-805-8001 or e-mail dingo15@hotmail.com

½ PRICED DRAFTS

City Paper is very pleased to bring you our very first smartphone app! Just go to www.citypaper.net and click our martini glass icon to find out more, or type in ‘Happy Hours in the app store, android marketplace, or blackberry app world. Click the orange martini icon and get drinking. No matter where you go or when you go, you can find the nearest happy hours to you with a single click! You can even sort through bars by preference or neighborhood.

SOCIETY HILL LOAN

DJ DEEJAY SUNDAY

SUNDAE WORLD TOWN DJs Open every day 4pm - 2am Sat & Sun Brunch 10am - 4pm 5th & Spring Garden www.silkcityphilly.com

FRANKINSTIEN BIKE WORX

Clearance on all multi-speed bikes! 1529 Spruce Street. Philadelphia 215-893-0415

Azuka Theatre Presents Hope Street and Other Lonely Places Now-Apr. 1 @ Off-Broad Street Theater azukatheatre.org

JOBS: FIGHT FOR THE 99% Working America / AFL-CIO is Hiring

Organizers to Fight For A Fair & Just Economy For All. Motivation & Passion For Economic Justice A Must. $11.44–$15.75/hr + Bens-EOE To Apply: 610.940.5848

THE EL BAR

Happy Hour Mondays-Fridays 5-7pm $2.50 Kenzinger Pints & More! 215-634-6430 www.myspace.com/the_el_bar

Sexual Intelligence

Guaranteed-quality, body-safe sexuality products, lubricants, male room, sex-ed classes, fetish gear, Aphrodite Gallery SEXPLORATORIUM 620 South 5th Street www.sexploratoriumstore.com

SEMEN DONORS NEEDED

Healthy, College Educated Men 18-39 ~ $150/Sample WWW.123DONATE.COM

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