Support Comes from Every Direction

When picking up the pieces after a major loss, it’s helpful to have as many hands as possible doing the work. After a fire destroyed her home, Iowa Beta BRITTANY ARMSTRONG DECKER says the support she felt—from friends, family, Pi Phi sisters and total strangers—gave her the hope to keep moving forward.

On the evening of June 21, 2022, Brittany was home with her husband, Ryan, and their two-month-old son, William. They’d just had dinner—Brittany was upstairs folding laundry and Ryan was in the living room with William who was bouncing in his swing—when both new parents began to smell smoke. As they saw the smoke pouring in from one side of the house, Brittany took their son out the front door and Ryan grabbed their dog. They had no time to get anything else.

“People have asked me, ‘Weren’t you able to get this? Well, didn’t you grab your purse?’ and the answer is always, ‘no,’” she shares. “Something of this magnitude is hard to comprehend, and I get why people don’t understand. I never thought this would happen to me, and you don’t know how you’ll react until you’re in that moment. I didn’t even put on shoes. I came down the stairs without my phone and only went back for it to call 911.”

In the immediate aftermath, the family was coping with total loss. When trying to picture what this might mean, the first things that come to mind are probably material items; photos, clothing, mementos collected over a lifetime. The full scope is beyond imagination. The hardest losses have been the things they can’t replace, including their two beloved cats. As she reflects on their losses, Brittany tries to avoid the “if only” questions.

“We’ve both said, ‘if only’ about a lot of things since that night, but we have to remember those things often aren’t true and it isn’t a healthy way to approach the situation,” she says. “I can’t dwell on what we didn’t do or what we couldn’t save. We have to think about the next day, the next challenge, the next opportunity because otherwise, we’ll never be able to move forward.”

That forward movement was imperative after the fire. From finding a place to stay to buying the essentials, the to-do list was endless—and so was the support.

The day after the fire, one of Ryan’s uncles started a GoFundMe to cover some of the many expenses ahead. Without a second thought, family, friends, neighbors and strangers contributed funds, clothing and basic essentials—providing whatever they could to lend a helping hand.

“Support comes from where you’d never imagine,” Brittany says. “My father-in-law flew in to help us salvage what we could from the house. When he explained to his Uber driver what brought him to town, the man donated to our GoFundMe. He’s never met me; he met a family member for a few minutes and went out of his way to help. Now that I’m trying to personally thank everyone who did something for us, it’s people like him I know I'll never be able to thank, but I hope they know what it meant.”

As she shares her gratitude for all those who offered support, Brittany holds a special place for the Pi Phis who made an impact, both those she knows personally and those who support Pi Beta Phi Foundation and the Emma Harper Turner Fund. Through the recommendation of another Iowa Beta, Brittany applied for support from our Foundation to help alleviate some of the many costs of rebuilding after a tragedy.

While she wasn’t aware of the grant program prior to applying, she’s grateful for the power of sisterhood and the individual members who provided a lifeline during a trying time.

“To go from having everything you need to losing it all in a span of 30 minutes is traumatic,” Brittany says. “Even with the support from our community, the money really does go quickly when you’re starting over.”

The outpouring of meaningful assistance not only helped Brittany and her family rebuild what they’d lost; it also helped sustain them mentally and emotionally through the hardships. Brittany is quick to recognize the power of hope and acknowledges the challenges of accepting encouragement from others while moving forward.

“All the help, assistance and thoughts from other people are what give me hope,” she says. “We’ve heard many times that we’re so strong for getting through this, but it doesn’t feel that way. I didn’t have a choice; I had to push on. One of the ways we were able to do that is with all the people offering us love, care and anything else we needed. When others believe in you and offer you help, it makes everything a lot easier.”

Time has also eased some of the strain, as the family was recently able to move into a new home and return to a semblance of normalcy. They hosted their first Thanksgiving with their extended families this year, a fitting encapsulation of Brittany’s mission to share her gratitude and love for those who were integral to their healing process.

As they look ahead, Brittany is excited to make their new house a home and watch her son continue to grow. She’s determined to find joy and hope in normal, everyday life.

“Most of all, I’ve looked forward to having a regular life and a routine again,” she shares. “That can sound mundane, but you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. It’s getting easier every day, and that’s in huge part because of all the support we’ve had from family, friends, strangers and each other.”

The Decker family outside their new home in October 2022.

Making an Impact

By providing confidential grants to members in critical need, the Emma Harper Turner Fund is a lifeline to sisters facing financial crises stemming from life-changing circumstances. In the last fiscal year, supporters of Pi Beta Phi Foundation helped provide more than $27,000 in grants awarded to 10 Pi Phi sisters in need. To learn how you can make an impact for sisters like Brittany, visit pibetaphi.org/foundation