Darrell and Patricia: A Love Story

He: We met August 3rd, 1987 in the Unity church in Bellevue Washington.

We spent that whole night talking in Denny’s.

She: He was clueless, but he felt so comfortable.

He: We were able to talk to each other like no one else in our lives. After about

a month I moved in. Pat gave me a teddy bear which I still have, and wrote me poetry everyday. I remember Pats family thanking me for coming into their lives. We got married 6 months later on August 3rd 1988.

She: We thought being together would be enough to satisfy all of our needs but

it wasn’t enough. Our individual histories was catching up with us.

He: In 2000 Pat announced that she wanted to become more Femme. I

started working out with weights, I guess I was following her lead. But still something wasn’t right. We had a discussion that maybe we should try androgyny—that perhaps it would free us from this duality that we were feeling.

She: One big problem at the time was sex. One time after having sex we

talked and He was fantasizing about making love to a woman, and I was fantasizing about being with a man.

We went on, Time passed, but it was all boiling beneath the surface.

He: In 2001 I told Pat that I had finally realized that I had been a guy all

along. That inside I always knew this. And played it out with my hatred of dresses, and my love for building things with my Dad, and Science. . . .

She: I’ve known since I was 12 who I truly was. I had to hide it for years but then

I had no choice—I knew I needed to show that I was a woman. he: Here we were in the same situation but in reverse—we became closer.

I was Darleen and I became Darrell She: And I became Patricia.

We have been married for 28 years.

This publication is made possible by Pier 24 Photography First edition published in April 2018 Š 2018 Jim Goldberg for the images Š 2018 Pier 24 Photography for this edition All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the prior written permission of the publisher and copyright holders.

Book design: Jim Goldberg Immense thanks to Darrell and Patricia, who, with generosity of spirit, shared their lives with all of us.

Also: Chris Klatell, Harrell Fletcher, Lisa Jarrett, Susan Meiselas, Rainbow Vista Retirement Home, Gemma-Rose Turnbull, Lauren Masterson and Newspace, Sam Slater, Hannah Turner-Harts, and all who assisted us in Portland.

Andy and Mary Pilara, Chris McCall, Allie Haeusslein, Ry Allred and Bob Aufuldish who helped make this all happen.

My graditude to Emily Barresi and Eric Ruby for their hard work and keen eyes.

As always to my family: Alessandra, Ruby, and Catalina ISBN: 978-1-59711-001-3 Printed in the United States