The Bull Magazine Spring/Summer 2023

Staff

Editor-in-Chief

Benjamin Hanson

Managing Editors

Rachael Rosenberg

Daniela Raymundo

Staff Editors

Alexis Guevara

David Pashaee

Drew Hokama

Nicole Khait

Tedmund Munoz

Advisers

Jeff Favre

Jill Connelly

Special Thanks

You

Sean McDonald

LAPC Theatre Department

Trisha Anas

Fabiola Carrizosa

Nicolas Heredia

Calvin Alagot

Christian Castellanos

Raquel G. Frohlich

Blake Zamora

Dollar Tree employee who inflated 20 balloons

Adriana Isabel pets Monroe at Crumbs & Whiskers Cafe on Melrose Ave. in Los Angeles on March 16, 2023.

The cat cafe cure

Pets can bring happiness into our lives

Story by Nicole Khait

Photos by Rachael Rosenberg

Sitting in the middle of the cement floor, surrounded by neon pink LED lights, cushioned fluffy rugs and cat trees, Adriana Isabel stares at Monroe’s bolting green eyes, which stand out from his long black fur.

Smiling ear to ear from pure joy, her cheeks turn a rosy red, blushing from excitement.

Isabel swings a cat toy and Monroe jumps to catch the feathers at the end of the stick. She giggles.

After play time, she glides her hand across his shedding black fur, closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, releasing built-up tension and anxiety.

Petting Monroe brings her a soothing warmth that only pets can provide.

A third-time guest at Crumbs and Whiskers Kitten and Cat Cafe, Isabel didn’t grow up with pets. Until she got one, she didn’t know how special it could be to experience the love and care they give us.

“I have a history of anxiety and depression,” Isabel said. “It can be so grounding to know that animals are in the present. They’re feeling what’s going on in the moment, and I think it’s just a good reminder for me to slow down.”

Crumbs and Whiskers, a cat cafe with locations in Los Angeles and Washington D.C., serves as a shelter for cats until they are adopted, as well as a cafe for people to come, reserve a session and play with dozens of cats.

Crumbs and Whiskers National Manager David Koehler-Sta-

nescu has experienced firsthand the feeling of calmness and comfort pets can add.

“I think it’s a quiet happiness,” Koehler-Stanescu said. “I think it’s closer to joy. It really is about knowing they’re there. Being able to rely on their affection and love, and form that bond over 15–and if you’re lucky, 20 to 25 years–brings a lot of happiness.”

Working in a space like Crumbs and Whiskers has allowed Koehler-Stanescu to witness people’s mood lift when they experience the physical and mental benefits of pets.

“It makes people happy,” Koehler-Stanescu said. “The most important thing is that people come in and you can see them relax. You can see them being like, ‘Oh my gosh, this is so calming and such a serotonin boost.’”

General Manager Amber Headrick is a big cat person, but she grew up mostly surrounded by dogs. Never living without a pet, her role at Crumbs and Whiskers brings fulfillment to her life, and she’s seen many customers feel the same way when they book a session at the cat cafe.

“I’ve seen a lot of people come here and say, ‘I’ve had the worst week, I just want to come and cuddle with cats,’” Headrick said. “The cats usually come right over to them.”

Located on Melrose Avenue, Crumbs and Whiskers offers a cozy lounge with over 20 rescue cats and kittens that guests can play, cuddle, nap or take pictures. The cafe is filled with cats looking for their forever home and guests are welcome to apply for adoption.

While booking a ticket and choosing a time slot, guests have the option of purchasing either a 30-minute or 70-minute session. Upon arrival, there are menus to order coffee, drinks and pastries from the cafe.

Not only are pets our companions, but they bring purpose and happiness to our lives. Headrick said that she wouldn’t be such a happy person if she didn’t have her pets.

“They definitely help improve your mental health and your day,” Headrick said. “Even if you’re having the worst day of your life, and you don’t feel like

Cookie sits on a shelf at Crumbs & Whiskers Cafe on Melrose Ave. in Los Angeles on March 16, 2023.

getting out of bed, you’re going to get out of bed for your pet. Whether you have to feed them or take them on a walk.”

Allison Valdes, a first-time guest at Crumbs and Whiskers, put experiencing a cat cafe on her bucket list years ago. Having pets at home, the feeling of a cat purring brings her peace and relaxation.

“On days I’m feeling sad, seeing my cat immediately makes me feel so much happier,” Valdes said. “I recently got a new job so sometimes there’s a bit of anxiety; all I want to do is come home, see my pets and immediately my bad days are over. I feel so much better and just so much more at peace.”

Marriage and Family Therapist Ramona Estrada primarily works with teenagers and other individuals in a psychotherapeutic manner. She specializes in major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety.

Estrada uses her dog, Gizmo, in therapy sessions with clients who feel comfortable having a dog in the room. Undergoing training classes, her dog knows how to display diffrent behaviors around each client.

The teenagers and adults Estrada works with are able to open up and be calm when they have something to focus on, such as petting a dog.

“I’ve seen it reduce anxiety,” Estrada said. “When clients come in, they’re highly anxious, and they’re not sure what to do. Petting Gizmo, having that distraction and giving him the attention, I’ve seen a reduction in their anxiety symptoms from when they first come in versus when they leave.”

Having a dog present has improved the atmosphere for many of Estrada’s clients who have generalized anxiety

disorder. Petting her dog during therapy has made it easier for people to process things and be receptive throughout their sessions.

“I have a lot of teenagers that come into the office with generalized anxiety disorder, and it really helps them,” Estrada said. “It changes their demeanor when they come in, and it makes it easier to engage therapeutically.”

Estrada has seen firsthand that people’s quality of life changed when they got pets.

“I’ve seen a real change in people who are on the depressive scale when they get cats or dogs,” Estrada said. “Because they are having somebody to care for. With a lot of dogs, you have to go walk in the sunshine and get some exercise, which in itself is a natural antidepressant and helps boost your neurochemicals for your feel-good dopamine and serotonin.”

Marriage and Family Therapist and author Lori Robinson has spent most of her life working with animals in the wild. From an animal communicator to an African safari specialist, Robinson has dedicated her life to making a difference and changing people’s perceptions of nature, wildlife, and animals.

Growing up with a menagerie of animals, Robinson was used to having a wide variety of pets in her home.

Charlie licks his nose at Crumbs & Whiskers Cafe on Melrose Ave. in Los Angeles on March 6, 2023.

Elizabeth Parker plays with a cat at Crumbs & Whiskers Cafe on Melrose Ave in Los Angeles on March 16, 2023.

From dogs and cats to exotic birds, reptiles, snakes and a goat, Robinson’s passion for animals has been present for most of her life.

“It was such a natural part of my life, that I didn’t really analyze or think about it,” Robinson said. “They were just so integrated into our lives that we didn’t even treat them differently. They were almost like siblings.”

Robinson believes humans innately are in relationships with wild beings and wild places. She teaches and writes about the relationship people share with nature and animals, which opens us to a spiritual state of awe.

“When we bring a pet into our lives, or we start gardening, or we start hiking, we get this feeling; It’s a feeling of love, a feeling of connection, a feeling of relationship, a feeling of spirituality, a feeling of awe,” Robinson said. “The reason we get it is that we’re reminded about that innate relationship that we’ve lost with nature.”

The feeling of that intimate connection between guests and the cats at Crumbs and Whiskers is what brings

them back to this warm and loving space.

Isabel didn’t end up adopting Monroe, but it’s likely she’ll be back for more play time and cuddles to relieve her anxiety.

“If I’m having the kind of day where I’m really anxious, a pet doesn’t mind,” Isabel said. “They’re just glad that you’re there and it’s nice to be reminded that you are enough.”

A cat sleeps on a cat tree at Crumbs & Whiskers Cafe on Melrose Ave. in Los Angeles on March 6, 2023.

Adriana Isabel looks at Monroe at Crumbs & Whiskers Cafe on Melrose Ave. in Los Angeles on March 16, 2023.

How to adopt from Crumbs &

Whiskers

Crumbs and Whiskers rescues and finds homes for homeless kittens and cats.

The cafe partners with The Cat’s Meow to bring rescues in.

Customers can reserve tickets prior to arrival and choose a 30-minute for $25 or 70-minute session for $40.

Arrive 10 minutes early to order coffee and/or pastries.

Anyone interested in adopting can complete an application after the playtime session.

Bobby Brady at Crumbs & Whiskers Cafe on Melrose Ave. in Los Angeles on March 6, 2023.

Ketamine therapy

Alternative treatment through holistic medicine

Story and photos by Drew Hokama

Hailey “Hurricane” Reed uses ketamine therapy. Photo illustration by Alexis Guevara

She is surrounded by shades of purple, standing in a train that rapidly moves through tunnels until it reaches a beautiful building. Inside, she is whisked away to get dressed in preparation for something important.

It doesn’t hit her until she’s walking up a staircase that she is going to meet God.

But when she is about to see the face of God, she is sent back into her physical form, sitting in the comfy chair inside a room at the clinic.

Her takeaway from this ketamine therapy session was that God was within her

all along, in her connection to her body and her emotions.

Hailey “Hurricane” Reed is a professor at Western New Mexico University, and after years of trying prescription after prescription she has found success in ketamine assisted therapy for her mental health issues.

“I came away feeling really loved, and a lot of the anxiety I had about just being who I am as a person in the world seemed to dissipate, and I felt much more strength in my being,” Reed said, who has been undergoing treatment for the last couple of years.

“My emotions became much more clear to me,” she said. “It always felt like a swirling of emotions prior, and the ketamine really helped me sort through what was maybe my personal truth and what was maybe just anxiety and fear.”

The History of Ketamine

Ketamine is an anesthetic drug that was originally developed as a method to sedate animals. According to the National Library of Medicine, ketamine was developed in the 1960s as a more effective, less hallucinatory anesthetic than phencyclidine, also known as PCP.

Ketamine was then approved by the Food and Drug Administration for human consumption in 1970 and was heavily utilized in the Vietnam War. But this led to recreational use in the 1980s.

In 2000, scientists led by Dr. John Krystal at Yale University researched ketamine’s effect on depression. They found that more than half of their test subjects showed a decrease in symptoms of depression in less than 24 hours.

What Ketamine Feels Like

Ketamine therapy is often recommended to individuals with treatment resistant depression or those that have tried two or more types of medication to treat their depression that has not

worked for them.

Because ketamine activates the frontal lobe of the brain, some people thought that it helps individuals open their third eye—the brow chakra from Hindu faith which provides extraordinary perception—through its effects on the pineal gland.

“It’s like every muscle in my body just relaxes, and for someone who has a lot of anxiety normally, that can be just such a release, and then just a lot of euphoric feelings come over you,” Reed said.

Along with this relaxation comes visions and an openness to introspection. These out-of-body experiences can often show patients new perspectives.

Therapist Keren Khait noticed that with guided introspection patients can work through past traumas that contribute to their depression.

“Based on my personal experience working with clients who are also simultaneously undergoing ketamine treatment, I did see that, essentially after the ketamine treatment, clients would bring in more insight and they would discuss deeper things in therapy,” Khait said.

How It Works

Ketamine works to help treat depression by triggering neuroplasticity. According to Dr. Austin Harris from NeuroRelief Clinic in Sherman Oaks, humans develop metaphorical roads as they grow that are meant to protect them from harm. When they reach adulthood, some of those roads can become unnecessary because of the changes that come with maturity. Despite going through these changes, those roads will stay the same because they have been what kept them safe in their formative years.

The brain has the capacity to change those roads—but no real direction on how to do so. Ketamine is the foreman that instructs the workers where to lay down the cement, Harris

Hailey “Hurricane” Reed at Union Station in Los Angeles on Apr. 3, 2023.

said.

According to Administrator of Clear Mind Treatment Rishi Khatri, patients will typically do about an hour of ketamine therapy every two weeks. As they show improvement, the gap between sessions will increase. Ketamine can be administered through IV infusions, intramuscular injections, nasal sprays and lozenges.

Harris said that the success of ketamine therapy is determined through the scores that patients receive on two detailed questionnaires based on overall well-being. The questions on these surveys are asked at random, and the answers are then converted into data that shows how ketamine therapy affected their symptoms of depression. Though ketamine clinics have shown a 70% to 80% success rate, Khatri said it is important to note that progress cannot be made with ketamine alone.

“You have to use the ketamine in some sort of program for some time and not expect an overnight change,” He said “There’s nothing like that. Ketamine usage combined with the proper psychotherapy is like going to the gym. The more that you go, the more consistent and serious that you are in doing the treatment. Then you’ll see the change that you’re looking for.”

Often, patients will go back to a ketamine clinic after long periods of time without doing a session for what is called a “booster.” According to President of the Ketamine Taskforce Kimberly Juroviesky, a booster works in the same way that insulin does with diabetics. Insulin is used to regulate and maintain sufficient blood sugar levels in the same way that ketamine therapy is used to maintain progress in mental and emotional healing.

Contraindications and Side Effects

Harris indicated that those who are experiencing psychosis or have cardiovascular issues are advised to not seek ketamine therapy because the drug

can worsen psychosis and is shown to lower blood pressure.

Though ketamine therapy can show major improvements, there are certain side effects that come with it.

According to the Harvard Health Blog, the most common side effects are high blood pressure, nausea, visions and feelings of dissociation. Some long-term effects that worry doctors, such as stomach ulcers and bladder pains, come from observing the effects that ketamine abuse has on the body.

There are two types of ketamine— esketamine and racemic ketamine.

Esketamine is FDA approved and is sold as a nasal spray under the brand name Spravato by Johnson and John-

son. Esketamine is half of the ketamine molecule and is arguably less effective than racemic ketamine, the full ketamine molecule. Though racemic ketamine is said to be more effective, insurance companies are more willing to cover esketamine because it is FDA approved. Because there are no longitudinal studies, it has been an uphill battle to get insurance companies to cover racemic ketamine, said Juroviesky.

Addiction

According to doctors, ketamine is not a physically addictive drug in the same way that nicotine or opioids are. Instead, people can get addicted to the

Top; Heart monitor, recliner and intravenous pole at NeuroRelief Clinic in Sherman Oaks on Apr. 12, 2023.

Left; Mayo instrument stand, visitor chair, and drawers at NeuroRelief Clinic. Right; ‘Do not disturb’ sign on door handle at NeuroRelief Clinic.

euphoric high that ketamine produces.

“The Ketamine Handbook” author Janelle Lassalle said that doctors are not actively implementing preventative measures for addiction.

“Some of the psychiatrists I spoke with, they had concerns for preventing addiction built into their mindset and the companies they created in the clinics they opened,” Lassalle said. “And for the most part, almost all of them told me they have not had issues with addiction. But I have found very little actual concrete evidence, any indication where a physician has gone out and said, ‘I am going to do this intentionally to try and prevent addiction.’ I think it’s because many of the psychiatrists I spoke with about ketamine addiction have kind of stressed the fact that it’s really been blown out of

proportion. It’s not an easy drug to get addicted to.”

In the search for self-improvement and healing, ketamine assisted therapy can be an effective way to treat depression. For Reed, though she faced trials and tribulations in trying to gain emotional and mental clarity, her endeavor to meet God within herself made the struggle worth it.

“Well, I would say that in my own pursuit of happiness, that ketamine has been really wonderful for me,” Reed said. “I think that we all deserve a little assistance in our journeys. Using substances is—and can be—a really great method, and if you know yourself and you are open to the experience, then it can be very positive.”

Top; Recliner and monitor at Clear Mind Treatment in Tarzana on Apr. 4, 2023. Bottom Left; Small Buddha statue and steel tongue drum at Clear Mind Treatment. Bottom Right; Tissue box, books and a lamp on a desk at Clear Mind Treatment.

Transitioning to a happier life

Story & Photos by Rachael Rosenberg

Han Gottlieb shows off their fashion sense on a street in Los Angeles on April 16, 2023.

Living a lie while wanting to die

Looking in the mirror and feeling disgusted, trying to conceal what didn’t seem connected, feeling out of place while struggling with the feeling of being misplaced.

“I always knew that I couldn’t stand my tits, but I didn’t know what that was about. I always was like, ‘Oh, I guess I need a boob job.’”

Han Gottlieb soon realized that they were trans after listening to other transgender people when they were in college. After accepting their gender, Gottlieb started to seek gender affirming care.

“Someone who could help me

legitimize my feelings, outside of my own head, was very gender affirming,” Gottlieb said.

Many people go into therapy for gender affirming care because it has been known to increase happiness.

“Most people come to therapy because they’re not feeling happier, because something in their life doesn’t feel meaningful and they are seeking more joy, more happiness, and they’re hoping that therapy can help them with that,” expressed Britt Kusserow, a licensed therapist in California who specializes in working with the LGBTQIA+ community.

Having the validation that Han’s brain was craving, Noah Gottlieb,

Han’s older brother, noticed a large change in their happiness.

“It was all they were thinking about,” Noah Gottlieb said. “It’s the most comfortable I’ve seen them in their body in a very long time, which also contributes a lot to their happiness.”

Gottlieb’s first step toward reaching gender euphoria was trying to use a binder. Once they realized that a binder could not safely fit their chest, they decided to get a breast reduction.

“I was so happy right after because they had bound my chest after the reduction and I was like, ‘Oh my god, I look amazing.’”

But Gottlieb felt that something

Han Gottlieb shows their top surgery scars at Echo Park Lake in Echo Park on May 4, 2023.

was still off regarding their physical appearance. They thought that the reduction would have been a bigger change than they originally expected.

“As the recovery process continued, I kept asking, ‘Is the swelling gonna go down? Like, are they gonna get smaller?’ And it was then that I realized that I needed top surgery,” Gottlieb said.

Once Gottlieb received top surgery, they were comfortable in their own skin for the first time in a long time.

“My dysphoria is so quiet, and I’m really happy,” Gottlieb said.

Because Gottlieb has struggled with gender dysphoria, they can relate to other transgender people on another level. Being able to bond with other people within their community has brought them happiness.

“Seeing trans people thrive makes me happy,” Gottlieb said. “They can be strangers, but if I see them thriving, then it’s a win. It brings me joy.”

In addition to Gottlieb’s passion for the trans community, they are passionate about their painting project, “But You Have Such A Pretty Face,” which represents more diverse body types.

“I like to paint statuesque bodies but in diverse body types,” Gottlieb said. “I prefer to make fat bodies, trans bodies, just bodies that I don’t see represented in high art as much.”

Gottlieb has experienced the barrier that society has built around people’s physical appearance and the difficulty of finding work as a transgender person.

“I think it’s so funny when people are like, ‘Oh my gosh, but there’s so much trans representation now,”’ Gottlieb said. “It’s the same kind of trans representation over and over.”

A large struggle that the

LGBTQIA+ community deals with is finding strong support and advocating for representation.

“I saw that systems were not in place to necessarily work with or for queer people in an affirming way,” Kusserow said. “Finding the resources that benefit people who are searching can be extremely tough.”

Finding the right resources from gender affirming care to mental health is not an easy task. Mental health can often include dealing with food difficulties. Like many people, Gottlieb has gone through, and still is dealing with an eating disorder. Gottlieb is not yet through the tunnel, but they have found a quiet stop with an overhead lantern on the way.

“I’ve loved pickles since I was a little kiddo,” Gottlieb said. “I used to take an entire jar of sliced pickles, put them in a bowl, cut them up, eat them and call it pickle salad.”

With Gottlieb being able to feel comfortable in their own skin and finally finding a community that accepts them, their hope is that fellow trans people also are able to find happiness.

“You’re not alone,” Gottlieb said. “I would tell them that they’re so loved, and that just because they don’t feel like they belong right now doesn’t mean that they won’t later on. Belonging is relative to where you are. So it might feel like everyone around you is the entire world, but the world is so much bigger than a handful of people.”

Top and bottom; Han Gottlieb frowns and then smiles in Echo Park on May 4, 2023.

Background photo: The LGBTQIA+ Progress Pride Flag taken on March 23, 2023.

LA UNDERGROUND

Story & Photos by Alexis Guevera

When the sun goes down and the clock strikes 10 p.m., ravers of Los Angeles flock to the streets Downtown following their map of directions—and the noise—to reach venues. Partygoers receive the location from an automated infoline that was released a few hours before the beginning of the party. Getting closer to the venue, the sound of electronic music fills the air. Attendees reach the destination and are met with security asking for identification. While the party is illegal because it’s not a designated space for the type of music this event will throw, hosts often strive to keep out minors for their safety.

Entering a warehouse that’s more humid than Florida in the summer, sweat fills the air and the energy of the night is felt. The only source of light are the continuously flashing neon strobes that echo through the venue, while the beat of the bass courses through dozens of bodies.

This is a typical Los Angeles rave.

Humans from various walks of life are seen attending these events, most of whom dance for up to six hours almost nonstop. A sense of communal gathering is received as underground raves are a place for non-conforming outcasts to feel safe. However someone identifies, dresses or feels, it’s a judgment free zone.

Ravers often use the phrase “PLUR” representing Peace, Love, Unity and Respect, which is the mantra avid ravers follow. The space is more queer than ever, making the underground scene dominated by the LGBTQ+ community.

“There exists a mutual understanding to escape from the dayto-day grind and society’s view of acceptability. Humans have a tendency to escape,” said Noah Little, a music psychologist who wrote in the article “Why We Rave? The Human Psychology Behind Music Festivals.”

As the 1990’s came to a close, a new generation picked up the techno, gabber and hardcore lifestyles.

The alternative saturated way of life has been revitalized with a modern twist. Ravers are seen wearing handmade beaded bracelets full of color, referred to as “kandis” and are often seen exchanging their creations with other partygoers.

The fast paced music tests the endurance of how long feet can last. The normalities of taking drugs or the consumption of alcohol is consistent in the rave world. Drugs such as ketamine, nitrous oxide, MDMA, LSD, ecstasy and cocaine are used to keep up with the fast-paced dance music.

Narcan is commonly carried to ensure a safe night. Though substance use is common, that doesn’t rule out partygoers who are rocking sobriety.

There are several crews and DJs who host the events for LA creatives to attend.

People dance during a Powersource rave in Downtown Los Angeles on April 29, 2023.

DJ Flapjack in his room in Northridge, Calif., on April 4, 2023.

DJ Flapjack

Nathan Norton, otherwise known as DJ Flapjack, is a disk jockey born and raised in Los Angeles. Flapjack is notorious in LA’s rave scene. He’s often seen spinning vinyls with his hands, feet and even chin, creating crazed entertaining sets.

The now 29-year-old has been raving since he was 15 and DJing since 2012. He got into using vinyls, because the music he wanted to listen to was nowhere on digitized formats and only accessible via purchasing hard copy records.

Not only does Flapjack DJ, he also hosts raves, collects, edits and digitizes VHS tapes, makes mixtapes, designs clothing and he helps bring the core communal values of rave culture to Los Angeles.

The Bull: What is a rave to you?

Many partygoers create nicknames for themselves. Flapjack acquired his as a result of getting picked on in highschool and ran with it. Sometimes, the avid raver plays back-to-back sets with an infamous DJ who goes by the name Baseck. The two are the only ones in Los Angeles currently doing live sets while riding one’s shoulders.

His room contains a collection of more than 4,000 records that have been acquired over the years from all over the world. Flapjack has been booked around the country, as well as throughout Amsterdam and Canada. Out of the wide range of genres he owns, Flapjack resonates with happy hardcore.

Flapjack: Aw man... Freedom. Freedom of expression to just do whatever you want and bring whatever you want. Usually like a radical space where it’s relatively safe. The biggest threat to raves are the police.

The Bull: Have you seen any differences between now and pre-COVID?

Flapjack: Yeah! Everyone turned 18 and is going to parties now. It’s super sick to see! Pre-COVID it was there, but not with the enthusiasm it has now.

The Bull: I see you’re immersed in the 1990s PLUR culture... what makes it so special?

Flapjack: It was just like a dying art when I got into it. Everyone was just giving me all this stuff and it was comfortable really. I’m not so much of a nerd about the 1990s. It was just, cool stuff that I like is and was made in the 1990s in a higher quality. Anyone who just has those core ideas of accessibility, high quality, low budget for young ravers to identify with.

The Bull: What genres do you find yourself drawn too?

Flapjack: Happy Hardcore. Gabber. Machina. Bouncy Techno. Anything in the 165 to 200 bpm range. I keep my sets as fast as my slowest record will go. On turntables there’s nothing digital that will tell me how fast I’m going. I just know because that’s what people have told me.

The Bull: Do you see any similarities between now and what you’ve observed from the 1990s?

Flapjack: There’s still a lot of people fighting for accessability and I think it’s kinda the one thing that can’t be capitalized on, I guess. A lot of the 1990s music is coming back and just the do-it-yourself aspect.

The Bull : Has DJing had a profound effect on your life?

Flapjack: I think, yeah. I would not be the same person if I wasn’t DJing, but it’s something I’d naturally do even alone by myself. It’s had a profound effect on my bank account! But like, my life as a person, I mean, I would naturally be a consumer of the music if I wasn’t DJing it, I just have to DJ it or it goes away. If everyone else was doing it, I’d probably shift my focus to something else, but I like DJing. I like spreading the music.

Powersource

The crew Powersource is a group of multifaceted creatives known for throwing extravagant raves and renegades.

David Morales, Brandon Coco, Isaiah Hearing, Isaiah Gabriel, Javier Vasquez and Henny Fay are a group of friends who handle all the essential elements in throwing a rave—graphics, animation, sound, talent, business and the electrical aspect.

Powersource started as three friends throwing parties with house music as the main genre in La Puente. Their name prior to blooming into Powersource was Youth of Prosperity. Since then, it’s expanded to six buddies who are one of the leading crews of the rave scene with their idiosyncratic ways. They began hosting their own events in October of 2021.

The genres you’d find at their parties consist of hard-style, techno, gabber, trance and many other worldly electronic genres. Their promotional advertisements have consisted of pills that dissolve in water, transforming into the unique rave fliers.

The Bull: What’s the process of throwing raves?

Brandon: It’s like a balance between creative and logisitcal. Finding a space to throw the event, having the resources to get speakers, investing the money properly. Yeah there’s a whole business side of it. We’ve been lucky enough to have people that have warehouse spaces so we can get it at an affordable price, but honestly a lot of our success has been connection based.

David: I mean it’s a whole process bruh.

(Left to right) Powersource crew David Morales, Javier Vasquez, Isaiah Gabriel, Henny Fay, Isaiah Hearing and Brandon Coco in front of their speakers at an Extasy Overnight rave in Downtown Los Angeles on April 8, 2023.

Isaiah G: It starts off with the idea.

David: The whole process is really like hitting up people that DJ good music who we really fuck with, it kind of starts off like that and then putting all our heads together and coming up with ideas like how to promote this and budgeting.

Isaiah H: Also trial and error.

The Bull: If you guys ever blow up would you ever change the way Powersource functions?

Crew: No!

Isaiah H: I don’t think we could.

Isaiah G: It wouldn’t be the same.

David: I mean if we blow up, we could potentially put on newcomers who deserve to get the shine and give them that platform. I feel like that’s what Powersource is. We like to bring new people on, people like in the scene already too.

The Bull: Do you guys prefer Powersource as an underground event only a niche group would attend, or would you like all walks of life to take part of it?

Isaiah G: I think everbody’s welcomed, but it definitely appeals to a certain group of people. Not everybody can come enjoy the type of music that we have. Some people prefer to listen to House or something more chill and we don’t usually host those types of DJs.

Brandon: Yeah it’s a niche crowd. I feel like ever since we created Powersource, it’s always been about community. It’s not just about raves for us. We would like to throw hardcore shows. We’d like to delve into other sorts of media, but it takes time to develop those things and also money unfortunately.

The Bull: What do you think partygoers should keep in mind when attending your events?

Henny: Being mindful of everyone around and everyone’s identity. Respect everyone.

The Bull: What’s the best part about throwing raves?

Isaiah G: Definitely for me in the beginning when I was throwing the free parties and stuff, it wasn’t ever about the money. It was just like ‘throw a party. Throw something fun for everybody.’ There’s this movie that I have to refrence. It’s called “Groove” and he talks about it and it’s so true and it’s just “the Nod.” The Nod like ‘Yo. You put on that fucking sick ass party. I went to that.’ Some people have the craziest time and it blows their mind. It could be something so small and then they got respect for you for that because you put on a great party.

David: It always feels good when people, even for me and the graphic side of it when people say “damn, you made that flier? Who made this flier?” It makes me think “damn, people appreciate the work I’m doing now.” We’re honestly doing it for the people, and for us, because we enjoy it. It always feels good when we get good positive feedback.

The Bull: Where do you guys see yourself in five years?

Isaiah G: In five years, you will know Powersource.

Henny: Based off what we’re into in the moment, it’s like a collaboration within all of us so it’s like, who’s to know what we’re into in five years.

Isaiah H: There’s a lot of routes we can go.

David: I feel like we’re definitely going to evolve and just do a bunch of shit that we always wanted to do. Powersource is more than what we’re doing right now.

Infohazard

Casper Go is an LA based DJ originally from San Diego, but most ravers know her by the name Infohazard.

Her journey started in October of 2021 when she was introduced to the electronic music scene.

She dedicates that rave as the event that pushed her to transition, which was an eye-opening experience to the huge LGBTQ+ rave community.

“Both things kind of go hand in hand, being trans and a raver,” Go said. “They’re connected.”

Since then, she has been seen DJing weekly, as well as throwing renegades and raves with other friends who are passionate about the scene as well.

Out of many genres in the electronic field, Infohazard is immensely attracted to the breakcore style, which derives from jungle, hardcore and drum and bass of the 1990’s.

The Bull: What’s the best part about DJing?

Infohazard: Playing your friend’s music, seeing your friends, the friendship. But also there is something about DJing or just performing live that I think is just inherently like, very cool and awesome. I just like feel so cool up there.

The Bull:What is rave?

InfoHazard: Rave is a gathering of like a bunch of small parts and those small parts come together and experience a cathartic moment. In that moment it becomes like a single celled organism.

The Bull: What hardships have you run into?

Infohazard: Definitely finding a balance between raves, work, trying to survive, my life stuff, making music and trying to play video games in between that.

The Bull: Is there a certain BPM you like to keep your sets at?

Infohazard: It’s everchanging, but I’m usually between 160 and 180 beats per minute.

The Bull: Is there a location you’ve played at that is superior to the rest?

Infohazard: Mine is the tunnel, obviously. It just means so much to

me. Even more so having thrown that party that was like a really very magical spiritual night I really enjoyed it.

The Bull: Whats the feeling you get when you look up to see a crowd dancing to a set you thoughtfully curated?

Infohazard: Sometimes I’m just like “Damn, I kinda slayed that shit.” Honestly, I don’t look up. There have been times where I have not looked up or if I do something cool, I look back to see if my friends caught it.

Casper Go “Infohazard,” left, DJing at Heaven Party in Downtown Los Angeles on April 22, 2023.

Above; People dance during a Powersource rave in Downtown Los Angeles on April 29, 2023.

Left; Casper Cue at the DesiredFX Circus themed rave in Downtown Los Angeles on Jan. 22, 2023.

Right; Buggie Bones participates in an Extasy Overnight rave in Downtown Los Angeles on April 8, 2023.

Below; Estrella Campos dances on the turntables during a Powersource rave in Downtown Los Angeles on April 29, 2023.

Playing for pleasure

Story by Benjamin Hanson & David Pashaee

Photos by David Pashaee

Swiping through Instagram Reels, a video appears. A young man with a silver chain, geometric eyeglasses, a daisy bandana wrapped around his head and a big smile on his face is sitting on a couch. An eight-string guitar with flame-top pink paint that fades to blue as the eye travels from the neck to the body rests in his hands.

Immediately, the sounds of a bass, drums and guitar jump from the phone screen. Only, all those sounds are coming from one guitar and one pair of hands.

Brandon Washington thumps, plucks and strums his Ormsby to create a melodic one-man-band jam.

“I feel happiness from it,” Washington said. “I draw life into the conclusion of music and happiness because music is life.”

Washington–whose stage name is Ando San–has released five self-published EPs. He continuously posts videos of his jams to Instagram and TikTok where he amassed thousands of followers.

When Washington was 13-yearsold, he found his father’s bass guitar hiding in the apartment. Enamored, he picked it up and found his calling. He later began learning the guitar at

25 thebullmag.com

Brandon Washington plays his Signature Artist Ormsby guitar in the living room of his apartment in Los Angeles on April 20, 2023.

pleasure

16 and credits his friends for letting him borrow their instruments.

“When I started playing the bass, it felt very natural,” Washington said. “It felt like I was at home and that it was just something that I needed to do.”

Washington attended an Animals as Leaders concert that motivated him to be the best guitarist that he can be. The instrumental progressive metal band was founded by Tosin Abasi in 2007.

“At that time, there weren’t a lot of Black guitarists that were playing metal, doing what he was doing,” Washington said. ”From that point, I made it my goal to get really good at guitar because I didn’t want to depend on anyone to write music. I wanted to write all the music.”

Washington said he experienced a lot of trauma as a teenager living in a poor environment. He said his

father wasn’t present until his midteens and playing music was his coping mechanism.

“It was a good outlet for my emotions,” Washington said. “There’s a lot of things that I couldn’t really put into place, and music was the avenue where I felt safe.”

Washington said the biggest struggle he’s faced in his music career was finding a community.

“Trying to find a place in the music industry is the biggest challenge for me,” Washington said. “It’s really hard for me to find community and music because I’ve always had a hard time connecting with people.”

Washington’s prowess with an eight-string guitar led to Ormsby Guitars creating a signature model for him–a feat he shares with guitarists such as Fear Factory guitarist Dino Cazares and solo guitarist Rusty Cooley.

Washington shares an apartment with his fiance Anissa Orozco in Los Angeles, where they appreciate their love for art together. They met on a dating website in 2018.

Orozco obtained a degree in studio and fine art and teaches kindergarten art and art classes at a community center. She said she really enjoys sharing a creative space together with Washington.

“I think one of the things that brings me the most joy is that we can just be together,” Orozco said. “I could be reading a book and he can be playing his guitar. But even though we’re doing different things, we’re in the same room doing those two things at the same time.”

Like Washington, Orozco has faced struggles while working as a ceramicist.

“I’m trying to not make my art and the essence of my art become a

Ando San pursues joy in life and music

Left, Brandon Washington’s Signature Artist Ormsby guitar rests on a stand in his apartment on in Los Angeles on April 20, 2023.

commodity where I have to feel like I’m selling myself,” Orozco said. “It’s hard to not stray from what got you started in the first place.”

Orozco said she was glad that Washington understands what it’s like to live and work as an artist.

“I love that we both think about art in the same way,” Orozco said. “Where it’s not something to grind and hustle toward, but to live in comfortably.”

Pierce College Music Department Chair Wendy Mazon has seen first-hand how people can find happiness and success in music. Mazon earned her bachelor’s and master’s in music and a doctorate in musical arts from the University of Arizona.

Mazon said that pursuing a career as a guitarist is a viable option because there are many different styles of music that use the instrument.

“There are a lot of jobs for guitarists,” Mazon said. “Anything from education, to studio musician,

all the way to a gigging musician and creating your own band. It just gives you a great freedom.”

Mazon said working as a musician allows you to collaborate with, evolve and network with others. She said that people who pursue music careers should do it for their own happiness.

“They do it because they have a passion for music, not because it’s a job that pays money,” Mazon said. “Because what you’re doing as a musician is a great responsibility.”

Washington said he hopes to sustain his joy in art and music and continue enjoying his life with Orozco.

“Finding joy in small things, because I feel like that’s what makes life worth living,” Washington said. “It’s like going through each day and looking at all the little things that make you happy.”

Washington said that aspiring musicians should surround themselves with like-minded people. He

said that people will say things to deter someone starting in music from chasing their passions.

“Don’t listen to anyone,” Washington said. “A lot of people told me, ‘it’s going to be hard,’ and ‘you wouldn’t be able to do it.’ Don’t listen to anyone and just do it. Take the advice from the people who are actually doing what you want to do.”

Washington said his happiness has changed a lot over the years, especially during the pandemic.

“I guess what used to make me happy was playing music,” Washington said. “But now that I’m in a committed relationship, I think it’s being with my partner, living and relaxing. Music does make me happy, but I think the real happiness comes from just being home.”

Brandon Washington and Anissa Orozco share a moment in their apartment in Los Angeles on April 20, 2023.

Ink on flesh

Nadine Souza tattoos a client at Costello Tattoos in Sherman Oaks on April 11, 2023.

Story by Drew Hokama

Photos by Daniela Raymundo

It was just like every other day of work at Costello Tattoos & Piercing Studio. He knew he had an appointment. The guy’s mother called earlier that week to schedule it for him.

His client arrives with his sister who stood outside in front of the shop, hesitant to step inside until she was invited.

Steady hands create art in the wake of pain, his medium of choice being ink on flesh. While he works on the piece he designed for his client, he makes conversation with his canvas’ sister.

She had a formal art education, she managed the little café across the street, and she wanted to be a tattoo artist. Every instinct inside him told him that she was too good to let go.

Promising, young, and determined, Nadine Souza began her apprenticeship under Oswaldo Lima in October 2022. She had the desire to become a tattoo artist, but she didn’t know what steps to take.

“The day I came in here and saw

everyone working, so passionate about what they do, I just really connected,” Souza said. “So when Ozzy asked me if I wanted to learn or if I was interested, it was like he planted a little seed in me. The first time I tattooed on fake skin, I was like, ‘That’s it.’”

As for why Lima took that leap of faith with Souza, he stated that he wanted to give other artists the tools to thrive.

“It’s my goal in life to help produce artists, because I like to go against the grain, and I think that if you’re able to make a living from art, you’re literally going against the system,” Lima said. “It tells you to work and do things that you may not want to do, so by this girl just quitting her job and coming here, she showed me that this is what she really wants to do, and I couldn’t be happier to have her around.”

Originally from Ubatuba, Brazil, Souza got her formal art education in Brazil before moving to the States. Throughout her journey to become a tattoo artist, Souza has had the support of her co-workers, peers, friends and family. After tattooing fake skin for a while, her father offered his thigh for her to tattoo.

“My dad is actually my number one supporter. It’s actually crazy how much he’s done for me,” she said. “He really loves the tattoo. Now he only wears shorts!”

Along with self expression, tattoos have served many purposes throughout history. Though no one is sure who began the practice, anthropology professor Erin Hayes stated that the oldest known specimen with tattoos is Ötzi the Iceman. Ötzi’s 5,000-yearold mummified body was found in the Ötzal Alps adorned with 61 tattoos that were thought to alleviate pain.

“Because he was frozen, we can see the skin, so we can actually see the tattoos.” Hayes said “They’re not very visible. You have to use a special kind of light and cameras to be able to detect them. We are able to see the tattoo markings, and they seem to be there for

a medicinal purpose. It appears that he probably had arthritis in certain joints around his body, so the tattoos were probably placed there to ease his pain.”

Aside from healing, Hayes stated that tattoos have long been ornamental.

“The Inuit women will tattoo their faces, usually a couple of lines on the chin, and that’s a symbol of beauty for them,” she said.

In her time at Costello Tattoos, one of Souza’s biggest challenges has been getting a firm grasp on a different art style.

“I don’t come from a background where I draw realistic things, so the first time I was told to draw a portrait of myself with charcoal, I was like, ‘What?’” she said. “I think it’s a battle with yourself because there’s the side of you that’s like, ‘I want to be good, I want to tattoo,’ and it’s like you have to know how to take things slowly and you also have to be very open to listening.”

Despite the challenges, those around her, including fellow tattoo artist Shay Nir, can see her devotion to her work.

“She’s always thinking about tattooing and how she’s going to make her work better,” Nir said.

Though it’s a space to create art, the studio also serves as an environment for learning.

“It’s not always just me teaching, it’s also like I’m learning from everyone that’s starting here, especially Souza,” Lima said.

Souza and Lima said their meeting was fate, and that both have been happier since then.

“I feel like when you’re dedicated and you’re positive, every day when you wake up you feel that life is great, everything is amazing and I’m going to do my best,” she said. “Even if something is really hard, it’s going to become easier, because I feel like there’s no limit.”

Shay Nir tattoos a client at Costello Tattoos in Sherman Oaks on April 11, 2023.

Bhardi Patel performing Puja ritual before entering The Valley Temple in Northridge, Calif., on March 27, 2023.

Journey to self-awareness Aligning the mind and the body

Story & photos by Daniela Raymundo

Some people have bodily concept of life and take the mind for granted. But when meditating, people may find a purpose and a path to self-realization.

This practice is a form of exercise for the mind and body that has existed since 1500 BCE, according to Positive Psychology. Anyone might achieve transcendence regardless of background, religion or identity.

For one who has conquered the mind, the mind is the best of friends but for one who has failed to do so, the mind will be the greatest enemy, according to “Bhagavad Gita,” a Hindu scripture.

Sarina Michaels has been meditating for 40 years and is part of a yoga meditation center named Radha Govind Dham, located in the Tarzana neighborhood of Los Angeles.

On her journey of self-discovery, Michaels started meditating in the late 1970s and eventually met her spiritual teacher in 1981. Senses of calmness and peacefulness are some of the emotions Michaels experiences when she meditates.

“Practicing meditation has given me a community of other meditators to relate to and to enjoy my life with,” Michaels said. “The people seem to have the same focus as I do and are to experience the God within. Meditation led me to have many many experiences and have control of my emotions. When I travel, I feel that I have a divine companion

inside with me to feel more confident in life and not lonely.”

Michaels said she has experienced happiness in a different way than she had before meditation.

“When I’m meditating, my heart is opened. As I say, the joy is a divine power, it’s a power that the soul recognizes and wants more of because it really makes you feel happy,”’ Michaels said.

Paul Arweh moved to India after meeting his guru teacher in 1998 who gave him his start in meditation. His guru told him that it was his Dharma, which means “path,” to one day create a meditation center in Los Angeles. In 2013, Arweh fulfilled his Guru wishes by creating Shirdi Sai Temple in Tarzana.

“What made my guru teacher so unique was the way of demonstrating miracle energy in such a positive way,’’ Arweh said.

His teacher believed that the source of that miracle energy was within himself.

“I began to really understand spirituality and my role in it as a teacher, healer and meditator,” Arweh said.

After moving to India, Arweh said that meditation started to have a purpose for him.

“Happiness is a very important part of spirituality, because if you’re not happy you can’t help other people,” he explained.

Arweh said that discipline and commitment to heal your inner self and to be able to recognize your path are some of the characteristics

on March 27, 2023.

and requirements to achieve meditation successfully.

“Meditation is the key to happiness for the broken soul,” Paul said.

Sailed Ranchos is one of the singers of the meditation center and attends on Mondays, Sundays and Wednesdays.

“I can feel the vibrations, and it puts me in such a beautiful space to remember that the whole purpose is to remind myself that I’m not my body, that I am a soul and is eternal,” Ranchos mentioned about his meditation sessions at the center.

Hindu Goddess Kalaratri Devi statue at The Valley Temple in Northridge, Calif.,

He added that the main focus of his meditation is to attach the mind to God.

Ranchos said the key of enlightenment is to focus on the divine and not into egoic material things.

“The happiness that we get outside it’s very temporary, understanding the true source of what soul happiness really is and being able to feel the satisfaction of the inner state,” Ranchos said. “This week I was kind of down and I just came in today and I feel at home.”

Psychiatrist Priti Bhardwaj plays the Tingsha, small cymbals used in prayer, at the meditation center in Tarzana, Calif., on April 23, 2023.

Lalvani Vidur chanting a Mantra at The Valley Temple in Northridge, Calif., on March 27, 2023.

BAPS Shri Swaminarayan Hindu Temple in Chino Hills on April 16, 2023.