FATHERS FRATERNITY FINDING

by Rachel Greene

When men join Pi Kappa Phi, they are often looking for a home away from home. For some, this idea of finding a home in Pi Kappa Phi has a greater meaning, a meaning that strengthens the bond of fathers and sons, that brings family to fraternity. This is a story of sons who have grown the fraternity by initiating the men who watched them grow up: their fathers.

For Curt Herzog, Theta Lambda (Missouri State), the decision to initiate his father was an easy one. Family has always meant everything to him, and as someone who puts family at the heart of everything he does, finding a group of individuals that felt like family was exactly what he was looking for when he decided to join a fraternity. He became a founding father of the Theta Lambda Chapter at Missouri State University in 2006 and through joining Pi Kappa Phi, felt he had found a family in his chapter brothers. Throughout his life, his decisions were based on the values his family taught him, and he looked to his father, Craig, as a mentor and role model. As planning began for his chapter’s 10th anniversary in 2016, he knew he wanted to make the already momentous day even more special by bringing someone into Pi Kappa Phi that he knew would add value, someone who had the potential to be a mentor to many young men. That someone was his father. After he’d seen the value that Pi Kappa Phi added to his son’s life, Curt’s dad immediately accepted this offer. “I have met some amazing guys in Pi Kappa Phi and have found that they go out of their way to help others, often putting other people’s needs ahead of their own,” said Craig. “I was honored to be considered a brother. When I think of Pi Kapp, I think of men who are optimistic, enthusiastic, willing to serve the community and devoted to their personal values.”

Not all fathers are enthusiastic about their son joining a fraternity. When Matt Ramsay, Delta Lambda (UNC-Charlotte), told his father he was joining a fraternity after arriving on campus for his freshman year, he was met with immediate apprehension. His father, Rob Ramsay, had visions of crazy parties, skipping class and all the stereotypical fraternity behaviors that have been perpetuated through the media. After high school, he’d gone straight into the military and finished his degrees across more than 10 different institutions during his thirty-year military career, and therefore didn’t see what a typical college experience was firsthand. He shared his concerns with his son, many of which came directly from the movie “Animal House.” But, he allowed his son to make his own decisions, as he was now 18, and those choices were his to make. “He assured me there was much more to the organization than partying,” said Rob. “I trusted I had instilled in him the values needed to make good decisions, but a fraternity was never what I had envisioned for him.” Shortly after Matt joined Pi Kappa Phi, Rob started to see his son change. “I saw that the chapter was having a positive impact on Matt right away,” said Rob. “The archon took him under his wing, and you could tell that a path was being laid out for Matt to be a leader. He was involved on campus, making a name for himself, and the Fraternity was a huge part of that. It was clear to me that the Fraternity was offering mentors to these young men.”

After meeting his son’s Fraternity brothers and clicking with them immediately, Rob was still surprised when he was asked to become a member. “I thought, am I really going to be 55 years old joining a fraternity? But then I thought, this is an honor and an opportunity to share something with my son.” Now, Rob is a proud Pi Kapp, and his views on fraternity life have been transformed. By attending Supreme Chapter 58 in 2024, he was able to see the Fraternity on a national scale and has grown to care even more deeply about it. Best of all, his relationship with his son has grown. “Being in Pi Kappa Phi has absolutely brought Matthew and I closer together,” said Rob. “It has created another bond and has made our conversations deeper now that we have this shared experience.”

For some fathers, when their son’s chapter brothers meet him, they decide he must become a brother. That’s what happened to Vince Fabra, Theta Alpha (Southern Mississippi), when his dad, “Big Art,” came to visit for homecoming. Vince was on homecoming court and preoccupied all day, but knew his dad would be well taken care of by his brothers. As it turns out, his dad was the life of the party and the talk of the entire Fraternity. When Vince was finally off-duty, he arrived at the house to see his dad singing with the band. “It would’ve been so embarrassing if everyone hadn’t been so into it,” he said. Vince knew his dad made quite an impression but was stunned when the vice archon stood up and proposed that they initiate Big Art, and his whole chapter cheered as they unanimously decided to do it. When his initiation day rolled around, Big Art felt like a celebrity, and was excited to be back with the chapter.

Vince eventually graduated and headed off to serve on Pi Kappa Phi staff. During his second year on staff, Big Art wrote Vince a letter. “Heartfelt letters weren’t really his thing, so I was just impressed and overwhelmed by how well he articulated his feelings and his love for me,” said Vince. “What really made me emotional though, is how he signed the letter. He signed the letter ‘Theta Alpha #172.’ As someone who was so unfamiliar with fraternity life, it meant a lot that he had tried to pick up on those little things that brothers do.”

The letter slipped his mind until 2012 when his dad passed away. A few months later, Vince received a phone call from his uncle. In a pure coincidence, his uncle was given his dad’s work truck at their company and found a manila envelope ... with the letter inside. “My dad was a big personality, and was often the center of attention,” said Vince. “But one-on-one, it was hard for him to talk about the real stuff. This letter, written by him because he cared so much about being my fraternity brother, let him really express his love for me. Pi Kappa Phi let him do that.”

While some of these relationships have been separated by the Chapter Eternal, others are just beginning. When Eric Karnisovas, Beta Theta (Arizona), joined Pi Kappa Phi, he was hoping to make his huge college campus feel a little bit smaller. The son of an NBA executive and former professional basketball player, he was following in his father’s athletic footsteps, but joined a fraternity so he’d have something to fall back on if basketball didn’t work out. “My dad didn’t understand fraternity when I joined one,” he said. “He was a college athlete, and fraternities weren’t big on his campus. Seeing the impact the chapter had on me, both personally and professionally, helped to change his mind about what this organization is.”

His dad’s mind was changed enough to accept an invitation to be the model initiate at Supreme Chapter 58, and there in Baltimore, Maryland, with brothers of all ages from across the country present, Arturas Karnisovas was brought into the fold as a brother of Pi Kappa Phi. “Pi Kappa Phi has given me so much and has brought me to my best friends for life. Now, I get to share the Fraternity with my dad and share my dad with the Fraternity. He is a man with great character who has such a unique perspective as someone who grew up in a Soviet-occupied country and has made so much of himself, and I know he brings so much to Pi Kappa Phi.” While his dad offers a lot to the Fraternity, this experience has also offered something to Eric. “My dad and I already had a close relationship, but his becoming a brother has added a new level of depth,” he said. “It’s something special.”

Whether their fathers were enthusiastic about the fraternity experience or not when their sons first joined, these sons were undoubtedly shaped by their fathers’ influence long before they ever saw Pi Kappa Phi letters. The values, character and who they are that drew them to the Fraternity in the first place were taught by their fathers, and these things led them to make the decision to join Pi Kappa Phi, even if their dad disagreed at the time. At the heart of Pi Kappa Phi is the desire to lead, and these men have done just that. Paving an uncharted path for themselves, these sons have created a legacy for their fathers, and it has made the Fraternity, along with four father-son relationships, stronger.

For those interested in initiating their own father into the Fraternity, reach out to your chapter for more information.