GUNIT

They say that fighting your own demons is the toughest battle you will ever have to face.

I’ve always lived a life that a normal teenager would want to have. I get at least what I need. I perform academically. I can freely do what I want. I have a healthy support system in my family and friends. My life was almost the life I always wanted it to be.

But that changed four years ago. Everything turned upside down when BiPSU’s College of Maritime Education was forced into closure after my four years of studying in a maritime program.

It was my lowest point.

I felt like four years of my life had been completely squandered. During that time, I was at my darkest moment, at a point that I would never wish to go back into. I lost track of myself, I lost the will to fight, I barely slept at night, I lost appetite, I became aloof, and I became the demon that I had no idea existed within me.

I was challenged. My faith was shaken. I loosened my grip with my own self. I became mentally troubled.

I self-diagnosed myself with anxiety.

But God may have intentionally sent me to a family whose faith is so tight to prepare me for a battle that will test my faith and mental health. If not, perhaps I could’ve done bad to myself.

I am telling you this story to let you know that you are not alone in this fight. In these times when mental health is still a stigmatized yet pressing social issue, know that there is always someone who can relate to your struggles.

We may have different stories, varying degrees of anxiety and depression, but our common denominator is our very goal of winning the battle against our own demons.

As we continue to advocate for the normalization of discussions about various mental health issues and suicide, may this special issue shed light on your fears of opening yourself up to others and your concerns about being invalidated.

The Pillar is here with you. We are with you Gunit lang, amigo. Padayun.

Editorial Board & Staff

Editor-in-Chief:

Joshua Gibson Fuentes

Associate Editor: Diana Palma

Managing Editor for Administration:

Laura Joyce Morales

Managing Editor for Finance:

Jayson Silvano

Managing Editor for Circulation :

Joeliza Mea Bonto

Section Editors’ Head:

Junmark Cabalquinto

Senior Staff Writer:

Rodelin Ponce

Junior Staff Writers: Berna Rizada

Christian Roi Mesias

Cian Napalit

Ina Villato

Joana Botastas

John Vincent Delola

Nato Besana

Lyka Janina Brigole

Junior Layout Artists:

Joshua Usigan

Jan Berlen Camarines

John Kenneth Troyo

Senior Photojournalist: Vanessa Cameros

Junior Photojournalists: Ivan Estreller

Mae Laurince Angel Roldan

Claide Villotes

Almar Atiga

Senior Cartoonist: Rechie Valeroso

Junior Cartoonists: Gerald Calolang

Deniel Jefferson Troyo

Senior Video Editor: Kenneth Ebajan

Junior Video Editors: Danilo Gamutan Jr.

Orlando Gervacio

Gerson Cubelo

Editorial Consultant: Gideon Daganio

Advisers:

Jenny Genoguin

Hanna Bartolome

RIPPLE: BiPSU’s Mental Health & Suicide Prevention Programs

Cian Napalit

This is what if feels like paidinpesos

I Matter

Nato Besana

GUNIT: A Depression and Anxiety

5-Step Coping Mechanisms

Gerald Calolang

Yes it’s okay

Gideon L. Daganio

Remember who you are beyond all your pains

What Matters Most Libulan

Phantasm’s Wake Rodelin Ponce

10 Things to do when you’re stressed

John Vincent Delola

About the cover

Mental health issues such as depression and anxiety disorders can affect anyone regardless of age, gender, and economic background, which often lead to self-harming.

Since the COVID-19 pandemic, the Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA) has recorded an alarmingly increasing trend of deaths due to intentional selfharm. Suicide cases increased by 57.3% in 2020, which is double the total cases recorded in 2019, making it the 25th leading cause of death in the Philippines.

In the cover, a hand from above extending for another hand from below is illustrated. This depicts the eagerness of the former to reach and hold on to the other hand.

GUNIT [gú•nit] is a Cebuano word which means “keeping a firm hold onto something”.

If you feel like drowning and are occupied with depressive thoughts and are thinking of taking your own life, always remember that someone is still willing to extend their hands. Someone is always ready to listen to your story.

You don’t have to fight your battles alone. We are all human and we all fall short at one time, or another. That’s okay. Know that asking for help doesn’t make you weak.

GUNIT is a reminder that asking for help and reaching for other hands is never bad.

Illustration by: Joshua Usigan Text by: Joshua Gibson Fuentes

RIPPLE: BiPSU’s Intensified Mental Health and Suicide Prevention programs

by Cian Napalit

Since the pandemic began, a wave of an unprecedented rise in suicide cases in the Province of Biliran has become an alarming issue. Majority of this recorded cases in data was shown to be students of the Biliran Province State University (BiPSU).

This called for BiPSU’s intensified psychosocial and counseling services. In response, the university’s Guidance and Counseling Services Office (GCSO) led post to cater to the mental health issues of students within and outside the university.

Various programs were spearheaded by the GCSO, namely, the Stress Management & Mental Health Seminar, Peer Facilitators Training for the university’s Peer Movers Circle (PMC), Seminar intended for parents of the main stakeholders or the students, Anti-Drug Addiction and Prevention Program, and a Teenage Pregnancy & HIV/ AIDS Prevention Program.

The office also organized the Peer Movers Circle (PMC), which is composed of selected students given the responsibility of acting as moving mini-counselors for each school on both the main and Biliran campuses.

According to Mrs. Corazon Napalit, GCSO Chairperson, due to the short number of guidance counselors and psychosocial professionals in BiPSU, where at least one psychosocial counselor should be designated for every 500 students, the university ventured to promote young peer facilitators to help cater to the needs of mentally troubled students.

Meanwhile, The Pillar Publication, the official tertiary student publication of BiPSU, also held a 20-day information campaign dubbed as GUNIT, in participation of the National Suicide Prevention Month.

This campaign aimed to provide a safe space for suicidal and mentally troubled students and employees of BiPSU and open the discussion of stigmatized social issues such as various mental health disorders and suicide.

As part of the campaign, different activities were initiated, including a series of social media postings and the release of a GUNIT special issue.

this is what it feels like

by paidinpesos

I wish the world’s understanding of depression was deeper than just a hasty urge to “see the bright side”, or to “focus on the positive”.

As if it’s that simple, but the truth is it’s unflinching, and without any clear or direct reason why, because it’s no easy fix.

It’s not always up and down. Sometimes, it’s just a singale, immovable line— a sadness that swells, that lingers, that allows you to feel warmth and happiness at times, but will constantly raise its hand to remind you that it’s there, and is not going away.

And yet no one can fathom how you can have a fulfilling time, or day, and then return home still feeling so empty.

As though the happiness were only temporary, and only fleetingly stays on the surface of your skin, because your soul refuses to accept it fully.

It’s an entity all its own, you co-exist with it. Some may brush it off as “not that serious”, as if people weren’t already hating, hurting, and killing themselves because of it.

I wish people understood that even when the sadness stays, they choose to stay, too. But maybe it’s too much, and we can’t really blame them.

All I need is for everyone to know, that it’s not something we make up inside our heads.

It’s not a quirk, not something to romanticize.

It doesn’t make you deep or special. It’s definitely not something for you to fix.

It’s just there, and it’s real. Nothing more, and nothing less.

I Matter

In a world full of life-threatening illnesses and diseases, a world surrounded by a series of uncertainties, I need someone who can keep me green and guarded. Even the World Health Organization (WHO), humans most trusted source when it comes to their welfare, stated that I am critically important for everyone and everywhere. I am integral to well-being, enabling humans to realize their full potential, show resilience amidst adversity, be productive across the various settings of daily life, form meaningful relationships and contribute to their communities. So, Juan, the person to whom I am entrusted, crossed his heart to protect me.

by Nato Besana

wound in me. Little did he know that to keep him alive was to keep me safe and healthy.

He hid all his pains as a secret. While in a frail condition, I tried to open my mouth to talk to him, “Juan, don’t I matter to you? Are you going to let me die? Why did you break the cross you put in your heart?” My voice was inaudible. He muted me, and I became weaker.

Juan and I developed an intimate relationship. He lived his oath to safeguard me from getting blue and keep me in good shape. He fed me with love. His gestures built a strong connection between me and him. His behaviors relied on how he treated me. Whenever I feel ecstatic, Juan as well blooms with joy. The river of calmness was running steadily, but things went out of control - I guess it was stronger than the connection we had.

It is natural for a man to encounter trials in life, but fighting them alone becomes man’s nature, too. He got his first heartbreak, he failed his exams, and he faced a financial crisis. So much for that, his personal problems made him disconnect himself from everyone, including me.

Juan let go of the promise he once held. After turning a blind eye to my importance, he started having trouble sleeping, he lost his appetite, imprisoned himself in Pandora’s box of anxious people, and tears of despair always fell to his cheek. Little did he know that those hobbies which turned into his daily routine have created a

One rainy morning, I saw Juan, my supposed knight in shining armor, preparing to wear a necklace. The necklace was bigger than I thought. It was rough and deadly. I wanted to stop him, but there was a dark force holding me back. Like snow, I am slowly flurrying away, and my last vision was someone with godspeed running

“Hey! Hey, wake up!” As I opened my eyes, I saw a glimpse of light. I heard a familiar

“I’m sorry for not holding on to you. I should have known sooner that you wanted me to protect you because you knew that I needed you to keep me alive and kicking. But now, I know. I learned that you include my emotional, psychological, and social well-being, which is why you affect how I think, feel, and act. You are important at every stage of not just my life, but everyone’s too.” Juan then wrapped his arms around me.

“Look all over the place. I have surrounded myself with a healthy environment. Henceforth, you will be more secure. Do you know why? Because you’re a gem that can’t be bought nor sold - you’re my mental health, and you matter.”

A Depression and Anxiety

5-Step Coping Mechanisms

By Gerald Calolang

GUNIT: G U

o easy on yourself. There’s no need to rush things, for life is not a race, but don’t be careless. Take yourself slowly and precisely as you are. You can still reach and achieve your goals whatever process you are in. One thing is sure: taking a small step is also a process. Consider making a flower out of brown mud clay, pressing and molding it to perfection. If you squeeze the flower hard, the tendency will be reformed and changed, not to the standard form you desire, but to the damaged one. On the other hand, carelessly holding the flower will also cost you. Parker-Pope suggested in his study that giving ourselves a break and accepting our flaws may be the first step toward better health. So, please be gentle with yourself. When the time is right, and you prepare mindfully, things will eventually fall into place.

nwind and meditate. Take a deep breath. Cleanse your mind. Think of peace. Give yourself time to heal from this painful world. Go to a place where nature sings peacefully and breathe fresh air. In one study conducted by researchers Teresa Edenfield and Sy Saeed on Mindfulness-based Interventions (MBIs), psychological distress, including symptoms of depression, anxiety, worry, and anger, is lower in lever when cultivating greater attention, awareness, and acceptance through meditation. Be attentive to the state of your body and the situation of your physical and mental health. Accept your flaws, mistakes, and unsatisfying decisions. Through these, you can achieve peace.

Nourish your heart and mind. Our daily actions and decisions are affected by what we feel and what we think. Nourishing our minds and heart with good approaches will definitely drive us away from worrying about how our day might end. Help our mind by having less to think about to minimize and or manage stress. But, not all stress is bad, according to Strommen, a gerontology specialist. She denotes in her study that one type of stress is also called “good stress,” as it helps us inspire and motivate in a certain situation. Strommen remarks that in order to nourish our hearts and minds, we must consider practicing lifestyle behaviors: Nutrition, Physical Exercise, Sleep, Limit smoke and alcohol, and Financial Management.

Involve in socials. It may be hard to push ourselves out of our own boxes because we feel comfortable where we are, but taking a leap of faith will take you to places. Once you go beyond, you will see the infinite opportunities that await. Get involved in that opportunities. Be it a new circle or challenges, triangular laughter, or sphere or curiosity, be on it. In the study conducted by Ozbay et al., social support is necessary for maintaining physical and psychological health. We tend to create ties, and these ties give us hope that either lifts us up or brings us to a more relishing life.

Talk to someone you are comfortable wih. Experts say expressing ourselves is another way to relieve ourselves from stress and lighten the load of thoughts we are having in our minds. You will find yourself unloading heavy feelings and starts being at ease. That comfort is another way to cope with a situation you find impossible to get through. Studies by Pennebaker et al. have shown that simply talking about our problems and sharing our negative emotions with someone we trust can be profoundly healing—reducing stress, strengthening our immune system, and reducing physical and emotional distress. Talk, even if no one responded. We never know, a small talk can save our lives.

YES, IT’S OKAY

by Gideon L. Daganio

A friend once told me she was thinking of committing suicide.

I told her it’s okay.

Her eyes turned as big as saucers, so I explained a little more.

It’s okay to sometimes think of dying because for some people (not just the emo ones), it gives them a sort of relief from their pain. Because when we think of death, we tend to dwell and ponder on the things that we love and cherish the most. And with it comes the realization that life is too precious to let go so easily. And especially when we start thinking of the people — no matter how few — who still care for us or who still need us, we suddenly realize that killing one self is an act of selfishness. We just want to end our own suffering with no thought about the people who will be hurt if we’re gone.

So in the end, after thinking about ending one’s own life and then realizing how selfish an act it is, life takes on a new meaning. Whereas before we only saw the black nimbus clouds hovering above us, now we also notice the little glimmer of light peeking from behind those clouds. And before we know it, we are now smiling and whispering to ourselves, ‘I want to live. Life is beautiful and worth living because there are still people who need me and love me.’

So, cheer up!

Dum spiro, spero. While I breathe, I hope.

As long as we’re still alive, there’s still hope that our problems will be solved and that we will eventually find peace from our suffering.

The trick is to never ever give up.

After my mini sermon, she hugged me tight and said thank you. Her eyes, still as big as saucers, now had a faint glimmer of hope radiating from them.

I said welcome.

#GunitWithPillar

ILLUSTRATION BY TRE MCCLEDON

Phantasm’s Wake

by Rodelin Ponce

Aren’t we all tired? For all I know, maybe everyone is screaming as they go through life, silently. There is an unbearable weight of what I feel in my bones that this world has failed to be a safe and nurturing space for humankind. People are hurting one another, and worse, people are hurting themselves, due to life’s barricades and major disruptions that engulf them in misery.

“Am I to blame?” - most nights in my room I whisper, asking my ghosts from years of experience and unconscious traumas. Because even if the universe tells me that bad things happen out of my control, with the knowledge that it most likely hit me for a reason, even then, my brain faults me. Well, maybe it’s just on my mind. It will be fleet. But oh! It never did, and it’s exactly the problem now. The agony did not ever leave. And I could feel its edges. I could still feel its burdencrawling, breaking, making its way to my breath. I see that in life, we’re battling a lot. We chase make-believe status, then we blow things out of proportion, get emotionally destroyed, and end up in shambles. It’s not just me, right? It sounds pretty normal to the human race. However, are sexual assault, anxiety, depression, existential crisis, self-harm, and suicide all acceptable? Guess people spilled facts when they told me I’m crazy for having these in the bag.

And with that judgment, my forest gets dark, the trees are sad, and all the butterflies have broken wings. I’m ragged, insurmountable pain and grief are consuming me, and I want to shoot

my brains out. Why does living have to be this bad? How heartless of people to call me insane because I carry issues? Death is bliss, and I rush to bleed. Everyone has their limits, and they’re valid. That’s my last straw. I counted 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... someone unearthly pressed the time-out button. And I stood there, crumpled. A lady in her 20s, wrapped in her pink blazer and dark wide-leg trousers, beaming in mini hair clips, holding luggage and doughnut boxes in her right hand, and showing me certificates and awards in her left, is what’s in front of me. Softly she spoke, “You are the result of the love of thousands. You matter. The sun will rise amidst you being full of dead stars and broken debris. Don’t quit. You’re already in torment. You’re already hurt. Get a reward for it! Things have a miraculous way of working out. Trust that. “ And as my vision got blurry in tears, I could feel her slowly disappearing and leaving her bracelet off. Unbeknownst to me, I woke up from a dream after I passed out, lacerating my body.

There’s still time for us. I may not believe that time heals all wounds, but my optimism isn’t blind to this. No period of time, not even medication, could ever heal the indelible scars those horrible circumstances left me. I’ve come to learn that not every moon belongs in our sky. Moreover, we are capable of climbing mountains, and in the event that bombs fall again, we can stand up and build our turf every time to retread each of our own paths. But this success, after being demolished, is not linear.

It’s almost a year ago now, from that rock bottom. A month clean. It’s been a week since my last relapse. I cannot possibly understand what I’ve been doing these days; the places I’ve gone to, the social interactions I’ve pulled off. But I came across some photos this morning as I walked down memory lane in my mobile phone’s gallery. And I threw up seeing fragments of that dream in different portraits. Pink blazer, dark trousers, hair clips, luggage, doughnut boxes, certificates, and awards — I was there! That’s the 2022 version of myself. The lady in my dream was me. So I

burst into tears, in the realization that my a-yearago self was proud of what she’d become, happy that “that” lady hindered her suicide attempt, and astounded how dreams do come true-a vision from a collapse literally dressed in real-life. Oh lord! It is so amazing, just like what I can recall the lady in my dream incanted.

While it’s true that I cannot make head or tail of how my mental health is doing now, at times I can still smell the stench of profound sorrow and that I should be dead by now with all those tombstones in my heart, the graveyard in my mind, and the emptiness in my eyes; it’s also true that those are roadmaps to my soul. Life is both a blessing and a curse. There’s a heartening panorama around us that we could cherish; colossal humans that will love our reflection for years and years; the scent of books; the precious laughs of our parents; the life of music; the comfort of our fur babies’ paws; the taste of cold when we’re thirsty; the joy when our crush crushes us back; the soothe of the beach when we’re stressed, etc., which remind us that there’s more and beauty to life other than the world being a place to starve, over-burrowing our skin in heart-stopping waves of ache, bequeathing us in pivotal marks and survival patterns. With the liberty we have, we may choose to continue, even for a single reason and the slightest of hope. To survive, day by day, and not mind anything else, because we have the right to pick ourselves first. To move forward, because that step will be the start of us achieving the life we desire and deserve.

Finally, I found the paper bracelet under my bed. It comes with a scribble inked in, “An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means it’s going to launch you into something great. So just focus and keep aiming. “ This flashes me back to a November 2021 afternoon where I actually wrote that for myself and placed it on my wrist to remind myself of my sentiment every time I want to cut it. My long-lost wake-up call.

What Matters Most

By libulan

Writer ‘libulan” preferred the technique of free verse with this art — liberating, free, and unrestrained — just like how you should be.

We’re at it again. In a drift, in a loop, in disdain

Looking at the mirror feeling like a shame, Dissecting every inch of reflected skin

That silly sweater kept you sane.

Stripping off your first layer reminds you of plough.

A mistake you loathe and allow Admitted to just plough on Meanings may differ, Perspective, it’s what matter.

Finally, second coat was enchanting, Looking at mending battle cries was impending

Giving up Calvinism

“Was it a win?’, a heads up at six A hinder from crossing alluring River Styx

In contrast of how it felt before Your smile is not staged anymore

A performance to binge

It might linger, crawling, waiting for return

Just grip unto that autumn leaf

And brave that beguiling heave

One more glance at the mirror, Smirk ghosting your lips of glamour

It’s satisfaction of the way you are

“Further”

Another convincing mutter

Morning light seeps through curtains

Glistening silver lining confidence

Pleasure, it made you leave off the sweater

Let’s go through it again

No regrets, with mistakes

For living doesn’t have to be fast paced

You can be anything all along

Self-cheerleader, backburner or wallflower

Make sands of time stalling

Out of the pot, now you’re accepting

Kudos to your bravery of waking

That my friend, it is what matters most.

It is the power of living.

10 Things to do when

1. Leave the room

Getting up and removing yourself from the stressful situation can be a huge help. A brief change of scenery can help put some distance between you and your overwhelming feelings. If you’re in class, take a quick walk to the bathroom. Buried in homework? Take 60 seconds to walk to the kitchen for a glass of water.

2. Organize

Pick something small: your desk, your closet, or your to-do list are all great choices. Spend 20 minutes focused on tidying up—it will help you feel in control and give you a sense of accomplishment.

3. Do some breathing exercise

Think about how you breathe when you’re relaxed—like when you’re about to fall asleep. Slow and deep, right? Forcing yourself to breathe this way is one of the best ways to bring on calmer feelings. Try 4-7-8 breathing to start: inhale through your nose for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, exhale through your mouth for 8 seconds.

4. Write it out

When your feelings start to bubble up and get overwhelming, putting them on paper can help you untangle them. Try a stream of consciousness exercise: 10 minutes of writing down all your thoughts without hesitating, or make a list of things stressing you out—seeing them reduced to bullet points can help you think more exercises.

5. Light a scented candle

Scents can trigger very powerful emotional responses, and some are particularly good at inducing relaxation. Try lavender, lemon, and jasmine scents – all known for alleviating tension.

when you’re stressed

By JohnVincent Delola

6. Meditate

Meditation triggers your body’s “relaxation response” – the complete opposite of the common stress response of “fight or flight” . It slows your breathing, blood pressure, and pulse—all things that go along with being in a calm state of mind. Learn the basics here. You can also try apps like Calm,  Sanvello , and Headspace.

7. Exercise

One of the best ways to handle built-up stress is to physically release it. Lace up your sneakers and head outside for a run - your feet pounding against the pavement is sure to help you get some frustration out.

8. Jot down things you’re grateful for

Showing gratitude is known to improve mood and help you better handle adversity–so not only is it a good way to reduce your immediate stress, but it can help you keep your future stress level down, too. And when you write down a few things you’re thankful for, you can always look back at your list when you start to feel that stress bubbling up again.

9. Talk it out

Sometimes when we’re stressed, everything little problem seems like a big deal. Talking to a friend, parent, teacher, coach, or someone else you trust can help you get out of your own head and see things from a different point of view.

10. Watch something funny

Putting on a funny show or video will help take your mind off of everything going on for a little bit. And laughter really can be the best medicine! It’s known to reduce mental stress and bring on feelings of relaxation.

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